Where's Johnny? In the ambulance, Johnny began to shiver violently.  Roy rubbed his arms, trying to warm him. "Johnny?  Johnny can you hear me?  You're all right now, it's gonna be all right."  He stroked his cheek, and watched his face closely for any signs of understanding.  "Johnny?"  John started breathing rapidly, trying to regain consciousness.  "Take it easy, we are almost there," Roy told him, but he'd already faded back away.      The ambulance door opened to show Dr. Early and Dr. Bracket awaiting them with a gurney.  Without taking the time to remove him from the stokes, they placed him on it, and quickly wheeled him into an examining room.       "He came around a bit in the ambulance." Roy told the doctors.      "John?" Bracket said, doing a sternal rub.  He looked up at Dr. Early and shook his head no.  He checked the lacerations, then turned to raise his eyebrows at Roy.      "I know," Roy told him.  "I couldn't tell."      "What?" Early asked.      "This is the worst of it?" Bracket asked Roy, while going over Johnny from top to bottom.      "That's it," Roy told him.      Dr. Bracket looked at Early.  "The lacerations.......they don't go that deep.  They'll just need stitching."      "So?" Early asked.  "That's good isn't it?"      Bracket shook his head and smiled.  "Never mind," he told him.  "I guess you had to be there."      Early shrugged and went back to Johnny.  "His eyes look pretty bad."      "His throat's a mess too," Bracket added, peering inside.  "He won't be able to talk for a while."      Dixie entered looking very concerned.  She had had some difficulty getting away from her last patient.      "Relax Dix.  He needs to be warmed up......and bathed," he told her while smearing some of the soot on Johnny's face with his thumb.      "Kel?" Dr. Early said to Bracket.  He had just finished listening to Johnny's chest.  "He's got some fluid in the lungs," he said, removing the stethoscope from his ears.       "Pneumonia."  Dr. Bracket put on his own stethoscope to listen for himself.  "Three days buried in a cold wet basement......no food.......it's no wonder. Dix, give him....."      "I know," she said already returning with the required medication.      Early examined John's skin.  While his pants kept most of the glass out of his legs, many bits and pieces were imbedded elsewhere.  "We're going to have to clean all of this out, or it's going to start an infection."      Dix examined the large task closely for herself.  "THIS.......is gonna to take a while," she said with a deep sigh.  "I'll get another nurse to help."     "Get several," Bracket told her.  "The faster we can get him settled in, the better.....and make sure you keep him warm."      "I will," she said, staring at Johnny.  "I just hope he doesn't wake up while we're doing it!  What about his eyes?"      "I'll take care of them," Early told her pulling, up a stool and starting the job.      "I'll get some nurses," she replied.                                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~      In the hallway, she ran into Captain Stanley, and Chet.      "How is he," Chet asked before she could even say hello.      "Well, I'M stunned," she told them.      "What?" Cap asked her.      "You're going to think it's terribly cold of me, but I just don't get it."      "What?" Cap asked her again.      "Why isn't he burned?  I mean....he has  first degree and second degree burns from head to toe, but......."      "He made a fire blanket," Chet told her proudly.      "He what?"      "Made a fire blanket.  He found a little fire extinguisher, not much for THAT blaze.........but he ripped open a gym mat, and soaked the foam with it."      "and that was enough?" she asked.      "Enough for what he needed," Cap told her.      She shook her head.  "And if it hadn't rained?"      "We spent ENOUGH time thinking about that," Cap said.      "But that's not all, you are forgetting about the smoke," Chet added.      "I am?" she asked.      "Yeah, he gave his tank to the kid.  So you know what he did?"      "What," she said encouraging his child-like excitement.      "He pushed the dryer over in the laundry room and used its vent.  He wrapped his shirt around it to seal it against his mouth."     "Amazing," she said.      "Yep!" Chet replied, smiling like a proud father.      "That's Johnny," Cap added.      "Look, when can we see him?" Chet asked.      "Not for a while, we have some work to do on him."      "Is he starting to come around yet?" Cap asked.      "I hope not," she said confusing them.  "I have to get going."      "All right," Cap said.  "See you later Dix."  He and Chet started to leave, but then he turned and called back to her.  "Say Dix, could you call if.............."      "I'll keep you up to date," she called back to them.                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~      Dixie walked into the examining room where some nurses worked on removing the glass from Johnny.  Another patient had kept her from joining them for the first couple of hours.      "Well that's done," said Dr. Early as he took off his rubber gloves.  He had finished treating Johnny's eyes, and had bandaged them.  "He has some small lacerations in there.  Let's keep them covered until they have time to heal," he told Dix.      "You look like you could use a break," she told him.      "I could.......and I will,"  He told her jokingly.  "See you later Dix."      One of the nurses touched the bandage gently.  "Now how do we tell if he comes to or not?" she said to anyone in general.      "Oh.....I'm sure he'll let us know," Dix told her.  She picked up some cotton, alcohol, and a needle off of a nearby tray, and joined them.  Now four nurses worked together to remove all of the glass.  One of the newer nurses teared up and turned away from the others.  "Hey......what's the matter?" Dix asked her gently.      The nurse dropped her head.  "What are we doing to him?" she said choking back her emotions.      "It has to be done," Dix told her.      "I know," she said.      "He doesn't feel it," Dix said.  "Not right now.  It's better to get it done as fast as possible.....right?"      "Right," she agreed, and went back to work.  All four continued in silence.  Something didn't feel right to Dix, and she kept glancing around the room to figure out what it was.  Finally it dawned on her.      "Did Roy go back to the station?" Dix asked them.      "No, he got someone to cover for him," one of them answered.      "Where is he?" she asked.      "I think he got a bit nauseous," another replied.      "I can see why," Dix said to herself as she carefully pulled a large piece of glass from Johnny's shoulder.                                                                       ~*~*~*~*~*~      Dryer joined the rest of the men in the kitchen, buttoning his uniform shirt.  When Roy left in the ambulance with Johnny, he had simply ridden to the station in the squad.  He took Roy's place so he could stay at the hospital without having to worry about getting another run.      "Man," said Marco, "I still can't believe it."      "I still can't believe that beam didn't smash his leg to smithereens," Dryer told them.  "It didn't even break it."      "Yeah, but if it had cut off his circulation anymore, he would loose it," Cap countered.      "If it had cut off his circulation completely, we wouldn't have even know he was alive," Mike told them.  "We just would have kept digging him out without thinking about it."      The station grew quiet as what Mike had said sank in.  It they hadn't taken great care with the window-frame, it would have fallen, and sliced Johnny to pieces.      "Well," Chet said after a few moments, "it's a good thing Dryer is so thorough."      "Amen to that," Marco agreed.      "Yeah," Mike said.  "Great job Dryer."      "Terrific job," Cap added.      Dryer was embarrassed by their comments.  He knew they were just happy.  "Roy would have done the same thing."      "Well he would have if I had let him," said Cap.  "I was so worried about him I......  Thank god you were there.  I'd have told Roy he was nuts.  In fact, I practically did."      "Hey....Cap," Chet told him.  "It all worked out, and Johnny's going to be just fine."      "Yeah," Cap agreed, trying to let himself off the hook.                                                          ~*~*~*~*~*~      Roy walked quickly down the hall of the hospital, wearing jeans and a T-shirt.  He carried a large paper bag with him, as he walked into the examining room and found it empty.  Farther down the hall, he saw Dr. Bracket, and ran after him.      "Where's Johnny?" he puffed out of breath.      "They took him up to....ah.....," Bracket said.       Roy was already on his way to the elevator.  "Which room?" he called back.      "One oh seven." he shouted after him as the elevator doors closed.  Bracket smiled and shook his head.  "These fireman.....," he said to himself.                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~      On her way out of Johnny's room, Dixie ran into Roy.       "Hi," he said.      "Hi," she replied.  "Where did you go?"      "Ah.....I ran home quick," he told her.      "What's that?" she asked, indicating the paper sack.      "Oh....provisions from the wife," he laughed.      "She's a very understanding woman."      "That she is," Roy agreed hardily.      "So you are staying till......."      "...he can tell me that he loves me," he finished for her, grinning.      "You're going to be here for a while, aren't you?" she said teasing him.      "Why?" he asked.      "I didn't think guys communicated with each other about mushy sort of stuff."       "Oh you'd be surprised at some of the stuff he tells me, especially the other day," he said baiting her.     Enjoying the gossip she asked, "What did he say?"      "I can't tell you," he said stone faced.      "Why not?" she asked, playing along.      "We shook on it."      "You shook on it?"      "We shook on it."      "Men," she said to the general public.      "Roy smiled at the comment.  "Whaaaat?"      "You forget, I'm a woman.  I'll get if out of you yet?"     "You can try."      "Johnny will tell me," she said in a matter of fact way.      "No he woooon't."      "Yes he wiiiiiill."      The PA broke in, "Nurse McCall, you're needed in Emergency......Nurse McCall, you're needed in Emergency."      "That's me," she told him.      "That's you."      "Later Roy"      "Bye," he said waving his fingers at her.                                                         ~*~*~*~*~*~      Morning dawned to find Roy asleep in a chair next to Johnny's bed.  Dixie debated over whether to wake him before the morning nurse came in.  "Roy?"      "Hmmm?" he asked.      "You sleeping or resting?"       He responded with a sleepy, "I don't know" sound, without saying the words, then started to roll his head and pinch his neck, trying to work out some kinks.  "I'm gonna grab a quick shower," he said raising from the chair.  He picked up his paper sack, and headed for the bathroom.  The morning nurse came in and started bathing Johnny with a special solution for burns.  Johnny stirred as he felt the cool cloth.  He tried to see, but not being able to, he reached up and felt the bandage covering his eyes.      "Johnny...it's Dixie.  Can you hear me?"  she asked him.  He tried to answer, but could only cough and swallow.  "Do you know where you are?"  Johnny nodded.  He put his thumb on his chin, and waved his hand up and down.      "What's he doing?" the morning nurse asked.      "He wants something to drink," she explained, getting him a glass of water with a straw.  "Just a little at first now."  He winced for the first few swallows, but managed to get some down.  "Have them page Dr. Bracket to this room," she told the nurse, but before she could leave to do so, Johnny began to slap the bed with his hand.      "I think he wants some more," the she told Dixie.  She picked up the glass and offered him some more water, but he only pushed it away.  He waved his hand in the air, and slapped the bed again. This time harder, as he became more and more agitated.  "What does he want?" she asked Dix, expecting her to have the answer.  Johnny tried to talk, but could only cough.  He knocked over the bowl with the burn solution, and again waved his hand in the air.  When neither woman could figure it out, he pounded the bed, and did it again.      "Is it your throat?" the nursed asked.  He shook his head no, and waved his hand in the air again.      "What is going on?" Roy asked, running in from the bathroom; wearing only a pair of jeans, and dripping wet.      "He's writing," Dixie said.      "Take it easy Johnny," Roy told him.  "You're all right.  You're safe now.  It's OK.  What's the matter?"      "He wants something to write with," Dix said again, more loudly.  She and the nurse checked their pockets.  Dixie had a notepad, but not a pen.  They searched the room as Johnny continued to pound the bed.      "Johnny, calm down." Roy said.  "It will be all right."  Johnny shook his head no violently, and tried again to talk.  He grimaced in pain, but continued to pound the bed.      "Here," Dix said handing over the paper, and a pen she had managed to get from someone in the hall.  Johnny struggled to write, not being able to see.      "Wait.....we found him," Roy said.  "We found the kid Johnny.  He's fine.  He's home already.  It's all right."  John immediately calmed down.  Dixie let out a sigh of relief that the scene was over.  "He didn't know," he said defensively.       "I know," she told him.  Roy picked up the water glass, which had managed to survive, and offered some to his partner.      "You all right now?" he asked.  John nodded and settled back into his pillow.  Roy stayed with him until he fell asleep.  Dr. Bracket arrived, and checked him over, being careful not to wake him.  Roy noticed he didn't look happy.      "What's the matter?" he asked.      "His pneumonia isn't responding to treatment yet," he told him.  "I don't mind you're being here Roy, but let's keep visitors to minimum, right?"                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~      "Roy!"  hollered Chet after their three days off.  "What's going on?  Everyday I went by the hospital, and every day they told me I can't see him cause he's sleeping."      "I'm sure he was," answered Roy calmly.       "Look, I only wanted to see him for a few minutes!"  Chet shouted as if Roy were to blame.      "He needs to sleep," Roy told him, not reacting to the tone of his voice.      "I'm not saying he doesn't need to sleep," Chet said, slamming down his coffee cup.      "Look!" Roy responded, beginning to get angry.  "He's sick.  He has pneumonia."      "So what!  I've had it.  You've had it.  Everyone's had it.  It's no big deal."      "It is when you aren't strong enough to fight it off!" Roy said, now shouting.  "What do you want from him anyway?  He's not Superman!  He's not invincible, you know.  He was buried for three days...no food...no water...in the cold...in the storm that none of us would go out into to look for him."      "Roy!" yelled Cap.      "Forget it," Roy mumbled and started to leave.  Cap caught him by the arm and turned him back.      "No," he told him.  "You started something and we are going to take care of it right now."      "I'm sorry....I take it back," Roy said trying to shrug away.      "There was no reason to believe that he could possibly have survived.  Don't you think if I thought there was the smallest chance, I'd have had every station in the city out there looking for him?"      "I said I'm sorry," Roy yelled.  "I didn't mean it."      "No," Cap said letting go of him.  "I'm sorry."      "Cap," Chet jumped in, "there's no way any of this is your fault."     Roy pulled out a chair and sat down looking very tired.  "It's not anyone's fault.  It was just some kid, playing with a lighter.  It happened, and that's all there is to it."                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~      "Dr. Bracket," Dixie called racing down the hallway.  "He's really having trouble breathing."      The two of them hurried to Johnny's room.  Some equipment and a ventilator had already been brought in.  Bracket put in an intubation tube and hooked up the ventilator, but it didn't seem do any good.       "We have to drain the fluid," Bracket told her.  She handed him a special kind of straw.  "Is he conscious?"      "I don't think so," she answered.  Johnny was limp, and the bandage over his eyes made it hard to tell for certain.  Bracket pushed the straw into Johnny's chest, between two of his ribs.  John jumped, startling Bracket, and upsetting everything around him.  Bracket cursed under his breath.      "Hang on Johnny," he said.  "Just hang on."  Every muscle in John's body was tense, making it hard for Bracket to finish.  As soon as Bracket hooked up the suction that would remove the fluid, Johnny fainted dead away.  "Now he passes out," Bracket muttered.  Dixie stroked John's hair a few times, and began cleaning up the mess.  She was near tears.  He was breathing fine now, but she didn't know how much more he could take; or how much more they had a right to put him through.                                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~      There stood a no visitors order, but Roy often went in to look at Johnny.  He didn't know what to want.  He wanted him to get well, but he felt maybe he should want it to just be over, for Johnny's sake.  Chet had snuck in once, but he didn't do it again.  He didn't like what he saw, and there was no reason for him to have to see it.  Johnny wouldn't know the difference.  After a week of waiting to see what would happen next, he started to improve.                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~      "Ow," Johnny managed to whisper after the intubation tube was removed.  He fingered the bandage on his ribs, where the chest tube had been.      "I'm really sorry about that," Bracket told him.  Johnny lay back, and breathed deep.  His throat hurt, but he forced himself to do it anyway.  He liked breathing by himself.  He swatted gently at the bottom of Dixie's uniform to get her attention, then made the drinking sign with his hand.      "What'll it be sailor?" she asked him.      "Malt?" he managed to croak, but immediately regretted trying.      "Why don't we start with a nice lemon and lime soda pop, OK?" said Bracket.  John smiled.  He had never heard him be so patronizing.  Dixie left to fetch the soda herself, and ran into Chet in the hallway.      "You going in?" she asked.      "Yeah," he said.  "In a minute."      "What's the matter?"      "I just want to get it together, you know?  After all he'd been through, then he almost dies from pneumonia."      "He's doing really well now," she reassured him.      "That thing is out of him now, right?" he asked.  "He's breathing by himself?"      "And he's wide awake," she added.  "AND, he can't talk."  Chet smiled and started inside.  "Don't give him too hard of a time."      "Oh.....he expects it," Chet said.  He went in cautiously, but brightened when he saw Johnny sitting up in bed, trying to get Bracket's attention.      "Hi Johnny," Chet said.  John waved.  "I said hi Johnny."  John waved again.  "I SAID HI JOHNNY!" Chet said loudly, cupping his hands around his mouth as if John were deaf.  John picked up a styrofoam cup, and threw it at Chet's head.  Chet ducked.  "Ya Missed!"  John took another styrofoam cup, and filled it halfway with water.  He poised to throw it, but Bracket took it from his hand.      "Cut it out," Bracket said in a low voice, as if scolding a puppy.      "What'd they do now?" Roy asked as he entered the room.  John gestured toward himself as if to say "Me?",  then pointed at Chet.      "Hi Roy," Chet said.      "Hi Chet," said Roy.      "See?" Chet said to Johnny.  "He answers."  John picked up the water pitcher, and prepared to throw it, pausing for Bracket to stop him.  When he didn't, Johnny looked up at him.      "Go ahead and throw it, he has it coming," Bracket told him.  John laughed, then started coughing.       "Here," Roy said grabbing the pitcher from him.  "Why don't you drink it instead?"  He looked around quickly for a glass.      "Here," Bracket said, handing Roy the confiscated cup.  Roy helped John take a few swallows.  Then leaned him back against the pillows.  Johnny breathed deeply, and felt a little faint.      "Is he all right?" he heard Chet ask.  He wanted to answer for himself, but all he could do was breath.       "Yeah, he's all right." Bracket's voice answered.  "He's just running out of steam."  Johnny tried to sit up to see Bracket, but he couldn't move.  Trying only made his head swim more.      "Just go to sleep Johnny," came Roy's voice from right beside him.  Johnny closed his eyes and relaxed, quickly slipping away.                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Yes!" cried Johnny as Roy handed him a large paper cup.  "A malt!"      "Don't tell anyone," Roy told him.      "Whaaaaat," he said.  "I'm going home tomorrow."  It had been a full week since the ventilator had been removed.      "I know," said Roy.  "But you're suppose to eat the food the hospital gives you."  Johnny wrinkled his nose and pushed the tray away.      "You eat it."       Roy looked over the contents of the tray.  "No thanks."     "No thanks," Johnny repeated.      "Hi Johnny," Chet said entering the room with a large malt in hand.      "Hi Chet," Johnny replied, remembering the joke.      "You already have a malt?" Chet asked.      John smiled and reached for the second malt.  "That's OK....I can drink two."      "No, forget it," Chet said pulling it away.  "It's mine.  You already have one."       Johnny pulled the lid off his cup, and slowly poured the malt over him, then carefully balanced the lid on top of his head.  "There.  Now I don't have one."      "Here," he said handing Johnny the other malt.  "Is there a bathroom in here," he asked Roy.  Roy pointed the way.      "You shouldn't have done that you know," Roy told Johnny.  "He's only going to get you back."  Johnny gave Roy a really big grin.                                                                   ~*~*~*~*~*~      "You ready to go?" Roy shouted impatiently.      "Almost...keep you pants on.....," Johnny shouted back from the bathroom.      "Come on."      Johnny came into the room running a comb through his hair.  "What IS your hurry."      "Joanne's parents came over, now suddenly we are having a barbecue, and I have to start it, by the way, that's where you're going."      "I don't think so," Johnny replied.      "Oh come on," Roy begged.  "You can't leave me alone...with all of them."      "You alone....with all of them?" Johnny teased.      "You know what I mean."      Johnny smiled and looked mischievous.  "I'll go on one condition."      "What's that?" Roy asked dreading the answer.      "I drive," he told him.  Roy dug in his pocket, and handed over his keys.  "Ha," he laughed, happy for the chance to drive Roy's sport car.  They left the room and took the elevator down to emergency, where Roy had parked.  "Bye Dix!"      "Bye Johnny," she replied.      "Bye Dr. Bracket...bye Dr. Early...bye pretty nurse I don't know yet...," he said as he walked down the hall not waiting for anyone's reply.  After all, he knew he'd see them all in a few days.  "Bye Dr. Morton......Dr. Morton?...where have You been?"      "Vacation," he answered.  "What'd I miss?"      "Don't ask," came the answer from many voices.      "Bye desk.....bye chair.....bye gurney...."      "Yeah, goodbye Dorothy and Toto too, can we go now?" Roy asked.      "Oh all right," he said.  They headed out the door.  Johnny cheerfully jumped into Roy's convertible.  Roy knocked on the windshield.       "What?"      "Un...lock...the...door," Roy told him.      "Just jump in."  Roy felt along the inside of his door, and eventually found the lock.  He unlocked it and got in, slamming it shut.  "He has a convertible, and he uses the door."      "Drive," Roy ordered.  Johnny started it up with a smile.  He drove along whistling a tune out of key, and enjoying the wind in his face.      "Wait a minute," he said to himself, turning the car around.      "What are you doing?" Roy asked annoyed, but not angry.  "I live that way, remember?  Where are you going?"      Johnny smiled at his mystery.  "You'll see, just enjoy the ride."      "What about Joanne....her parents?"      "Tell them you were kidnapped for a couple of hours............and I rescued you."      "Roy smiled despite himself.  "OK."      Soon they were driving in an expensive looking neighborhood with circular driveways.  He pulled into one in particular and saw what he was looking for, playing on a swing toward the back of the house.  "HEY KID," Johnny yelled at the top of his lungs.      "Johnny," Roy hissed.  "This is a quiet neighborhood, remember?"       "What's your blanket's name?" he shouted again.  A familiar, unhappy head appeared in a window next door.  Roy shrank as far as he could, down into his seat.     "What?" shouted the kid back?      "WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR BLANKET?"  Roy dug a map out of the glove compartment, and unfolded it around his head.      "Billy!" shouted the boy.      "Thank you!" John shouted waving as he drove out of the driveway.  "I TOLD you."                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~      A few days later, Thomas arrived at the station early, but not as early it seemed, as everyone else.  He found most of A shift was already there, working with C shift to put up some decorations for the return of Firefighter John Gage.  Thomas had not yet met Gage, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.  When he started at 51, they were the most depressing bunch of guys you could ever have to work with.  A black cloud hung over the station, and he could sense it the moment he walked in the door.  When they found their missing friend alive, the mood of the station had changed greatly, but Thomas found his desire to meet the Prodigal one had not.  For weeks, all he heard was story after unbelievable story about the Great John Gage.  Station 51 was not unique to this display.  When Thomas filled in at other stations, he found the mere mention of Station 51 brought on a new avalanche of wild stories.  He had decided firmly that he did not, and could not, like this man.  He felt he must either be a Firefighter God, or a man with the biggest ego on the planet.  The worst would be, if he turned out to be both.  When Thomas left after his last shift, the Great One was still on the sick list.  Over the days off, Thomas found he must have been taken off the list, and was returning that day.   No one had bothered to let him know he wouldn't be needed at 51.  He figured it was mostly his own fault, having not been anywhere near a phone the entire time, but he still felt angry about it.  He debated about whether or not to leave, then decided he should probably stay until Captain Stanley officially informed him that he could go.        As Thomas was dressing, in walked a man he had not met before.  He had seen pictures, so he knew this was the incredible firefighter himself; but he sure didn't look special in person.  The man had walked in without a word, and gone straight to the sink.  He turned on both faucets full blast, and proceeded to drown his face in his water filled hands.  When Thomas closed his locker, the man jumped, apparently startled.  Thomas figured he had believed himself to be alone.  John smiled at him, and shook his hands off into the sink.  The smile took Thomas off guard.  It was neither conceited nor opinionated.       "So, you must be the Great John Gage," Thomas said to him.       John tuned back toward the mirror.  "Well…..that's my name, I don't know about the great."  John dried his hands and face with a paper towel, then turned back to Thomas.  "They're going a bit overboard I guess, huh."      "Well……."      "I know, I know.  They mean well.  I just wish……….I don't know.  I like parties as much as the next guy, but right now, I'd just rather skip this part."      Thomas didn't know how to respond.  How was it, he wondered, that he found the cause off all the up and down rigmarole at 51, to be the most likable one of them all.  "Maybe you'll get a long run, and they will get tired of waiting."      "No….., that only happens with other peoples parties.  Just grin and bare it," he said more to himself than to Thomas.  John braced himself against the sink, and let his head fall to his chest, resting his eyes for a moment.  He took several deep breaths, then smiled at the mirror.  He could see Thomas's reflection staring at him.  "I didn't get your name," John said to the reflection.      "Thomas……..Thomas Spectrum."      John turned to offer the younger man his hand, and noticed the patch on his uniform shirt.  "Oh…, you're a paramedic?  Where are you filling in?"      "Here actually…..or I.."      "Right," John said, the light finally coming on in his head about to whom he was speaking.  He smiled warmly, and shook the man's hand more firmly.  His smile, however, was quickly replaced by a look of panic.  "Wait, Roy didn't…Roy's.."      Despite his inexperience, Thomas understood immediately.  He now had more stories of John and Roy in his head than he had of his own childhood memories.  "He's here, I think.  I just never got a call about today…I'm sure I'm off now.  I just figured I better wait and…."      "Yeah…yeah," John said running his hand through his dark hair.  He gave Thomas one last smile before he turned to walk to his locker.  It seemed the decorating crew had been in here too.  John had seen the streamers and balloons on his locker when he came in.  Now, up close, he could see it also had been covered with newspaper clippings of his 'Heroic Rescue' of the school children, and his "Incredible Survival' afterward.  Chet had brought a stack of the papers while he was still in the hospital.  John had tossed them aside and covered them with magazines, books, get-well cards and the like, without a glance.  He didn't care much for newspapers, except the occasional sports section.  He didn't know what had become of them, and he hadn't cared.  Now they stared him in the face.  While the dramatic headlines caused him pangs of embarrassment, some of the pictures did far worse.  One innovative reporter had been listening to a scanner, and had arrived at the hospital just in time to snap off some pictures while he was being moved from the ambulance to the waiting gurney.  John couldn't tell what bothered him more, his own image, or the expression on his partner's face.       Thomas watched as John looked, slightly open mouthed at the media display before him; unaware he was no longer seeing it, but the images he had buried in his mind of the days he spent trapped and unable to move, in the school's basement.  The man looked lost and insecure, just how Thomas felt, every time he got a run.  He liked Gage even more.       Laughing voices echoed in the Apparatus Bay, heading in their direction.  Thomas was completely taken aback when Gage opened his locker, and climbed inside, closing the door behind him.  Then the stories, now planted firmly in his mind, gave him an explanation to this strange behavior; he was going to scare the Phantom.  Thomas waited for the attack, trying not to smile, and give his new friend away.  This was something he wanted to see, especially since Gage turned out to be such an all right guy.       Chet, Marco, and Roy walked in looking very happy.      "Good," Chet told them, "He's not here yet."     "Yeah, but we better hurry," Marco replied.      "Hey Tom," Roy said, figuring he was there for the party, and not taking time to notice he was in uniform.      Thomas felt a stab of anger.  Still no one was going to bother to let him know he wasn't going to be needed that day.  "Hey Roy," he answered with a note of sarcasm.  Roy didn't notice.  Thomas didn't figure he would.  He watched Chet pull a realistic looking snake from his locker, attached to a kind of a spring.  Marco and Roy saw it too.      "Oh come on Chet, not on his first day back," Marco chastised from where he stood.      "No Chet," Roy told him, looking him straight in the eye as Chet placed his hand on Gage's locker door.      Do it anyway, Thomas thought.  He wanted to see the Phantom wet himself when Gage leaped out at him.  Now, Now, he's right in front of you.      Chet tapped Johnny's locker, then walked back to his own, tossing the snake inside.  "All right," he told them, "but just for the first half of the shift."      Thomas shook his head and stared at his shoes.  He felt disappointed, but brightened when he thought of the reversal Gage could play on Chet later on; and he could be in on it!      The three men finished changing into their uniforms and headed out the door.  Roy, not being completely negligent, called back to Thomas, "Are you coming?"      Thomas turned to the sink and started to wash his hands.  "Yeah, in a minute."  He watched in the mirror as Roy let the door close behind him, then waited for Gage to come out.  Maybe he thinks one of them is still in here.  He just got up the nerve to tap on the door, when it opened.      "Oh…" John said surprised, but with his usual smile.  "Hello again."      Thomas smiled back at him, liking him more by the minute.  John climbed out of the locker, dragging crumpled up black duffel behind him.  He took a deep breath, then quickly began to stuff the entire contents of the locker into it.  He inspected the locker, then zipped the bag closed, and closed the door.  He felt like he was forgetting something important.  He reopened his locker, and gently took off his Smokey poster.  After staring at it for a few moments, he handed it to Thomas.  "Here…give him a good home for me…will ya?"      Thomas took the poster, wondering what to say, and what was going on.  John picked up his bag, draped it nonchalantly over his shoulder, and headed for the door.  Just before he reached it, he stopped and took several steps backwards.  Without looking, he dropped the bag into a trashcan, then wedged it deeper inside, with his foot.  He shot Thomas one more genuine, if a bit weak, grin, and walked out of Thomas's life, just as easily as he had walked in.                                                         ~*~*~*~*~*~      John saw Roy and Cap walk out of the Kitchen, into the Apparatus Bay.  He darted to his right, and ducked behind the engine, then quietly crept around it and the squad, until he was near Cap's office.  He wished Roy would go back inside, but he knew that was too much to ask for.  He thought, at least he had a chance of getting a hold of Cap, before everyone discovered his presence.      "Cap," he whispered, standing up close against the squad.  He went unheard.  Cap and Roy continued their conversation, oblivious that the man of the hour was not more than ten feet away.  "Cap," he whispered again, wincing at how loud his voice seemed to himself.  This time he got both Roy and Cap's attention.      "There you are," Cap started.      "Johnny!" Roy laughed.  He felt happy, excited even.  He had been waiting for this day for a while.  John smiled back at him and gave him a quick wave.  He mouthed the words 'Can I see you Cap?' while motioning dramatically toward Cap's office door with his hands.  He saw Roy follow behind, so he stepped in through the door first, then quickly shut the door behind Cap, nearly hitting him with it in the process.  Roy was a bit stunned, but not bothered by the act.  He was more than used to his partner's unpredictable nutty behavior at times.  He kept things interesting.       He hates the party.  I TOLD Chet not to go overboard.  Roy stared at the closed door.  Come on Johnny, just get it over with.  If they try to make you give a speech, I'll cover you.  I promise.  I won't let you say a word unless it looks like you want to.  Roy drummed his fingers against his leg impatiently.  He probably thinks if he stalls long enough, we'll get a run, and he can bail on the party…then why isn't he in uniform…      "Roy!"      "What?"  Roy snapped back, unhappy at having his thoughts interrupted.      "Johnny likes chocolate…right?"      "What?" Roy asked.      "Marco said he likes strawberry better."      "He likes chocolate with the toasted almonds…we got the right kind, don't worry about it."      "Then who eats up all the strawberry?" Marco asked from behind Chet's head.      "Mike," Roy answered.      "Mike?  Do you like strawberry…"  Marco continued as his voice drifted back into the dayroom.      I better help Cap get him into the party.  Roy looked back at the office door and saw it was now open.  He hurried over to find Johnny not there, and Cap sitting at his desk.  Roy raised his hands questioningly.  "Where'd he go?" he asked, but then headed off to the locker room, having answered his own question in his mind before Cap could speak.       "Roy?" Cap said before he got too far.      Roy paused.  You could pretend you didn't hear him.      "Roy!" Cap called again.  He reluctantly turned back to the office.  As he walked back, he noticed the top of Johnny's Land Rover go past one of the little windows in the sliding garage door.      "What's going on?" Roy asked, very bewildered.      "He just resigned," Cap said soberly.       "He WHAT? Why didn't you…?"      "I talked to him Roy, I talked myself blue.  I gave him all his options.  I tried to convince him to take a leave of absence, so he could think about what he was doing.  He just kept shaking his head 'No'.  His mind was made up before he came in here."      "Why didn't you come get me?"      "There wasn't time."      "I was right outside the door!"  Roy shouted.         "Roy," Cap said patiently, "He's a grown man.  What was I supposed to do?  I tried everything,………and I just don't have the time to deal with this right now!"  Hank stuffed the resignation under a tall stack of papers.      "I want to see it," Roy muttered.       Cap ignored the comment.  "I'm sure he'll call you Roy," he said patting his back on the way out.  He closed the door behind him.  Roy reached under the stack of papers and pulled out the resignation.  It was written on a torn scrap of paper.             To whom it concerns,             I hereby resign from the Firefighter Service of LA County.  I             sincerely apologize for any and all inconvenience this may cause.             John Roderick Gage      Hardly a professional letter, but I guess it will do the trick.  Roy reluctantly replaced the letter, making sure it was well buried in the papers.  He came out of the office, into a sea of fallen faces, gradually making their ways out of the doors.   Phrases like "be back" and "needs time" could be heard being murmured here and there, but beneath that was a stunned silence.  Johnny of all guys!  Someone like Johnny quitting the department, it scared everyone.  If he couldn't get his edge back…what hope did they have?  No, he'd be back; after all, he was John Gage.                                                       ~*~*~*~*~*~      John went back to his apartment, not knowing quite how to start.  He began to pack up some of his things slowly, but increased his speed as he again made up his mind.  He packed his personal belongings into a suitcase and a couple of boxes, and drove them down to a local storage facility.  He rented a space, and paid for three months in advance.  Then he went back to his apartment, and packed up his clothes and camping gear, and carefully stowed them away in his Land Rover.  That done, he stood staring at the rest.  His bed, pots, pans, that awful chair Roy hated, his little bitsy TV, among a few other things were left.  He shrugged, and went to find his landlord.  After much haggling and argument, he managed to talk the guy into buying what was left, and returning his deposit, plus the balance of his rent.  All together, it wasn't much money, but he figured he didn't need much; being debt and bill free and all.  Next he drove to the bank and cleaned out his checking account.  With everything now taken care of, he paused.  He wanted to talk to Roy, but that would mean going back to the station, maybe running into some of the guys.  No, he thought, I went and wrecked everything, wrecked their party.  They're bound to be mad.  Roy will get it, won't he?  Now he had second thoughts.  They had talked about doing this sort of thing, when times got tuff, or when a run had been particularly bad.  Roy thought on one hand it would be great, to just pick up and leave everything behind, except the basic necessities; but of course, he would never be able to do it, having a family, and far more responsibilities.  Yes, they talked about it many times, but always as a bit of a joke.  Now Johnny had done it.  I'll go see him later, maybe.  He'll only try to talk me out of it.  Johnny pointed his car north, and headed out.  The first thing he wanted to do was to get out of the LA heat.  The wind blowing in his hair, the music on the radio, the trees flying by, all convinced him he was doing the right thing.  Again Roy flashed through his mind.   John turned up the radio and took a deep breath.  I'll call him later…maybe.                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~      Back at the station, the guys were trying to find places to put everything away.  The food and presents were all untouched.  The decorations were painful to look at.  No one spoke.  No one knew what to say.  Roy sat alone on his bunk, staring at Johnny's.  He didn't know what to think or feel.  He was angry, but he thought maybe he shouldn't be.  If Johnny can't come back, he can't come back…but why didn't he talk to me.  No, no, it's just Johnny being Johnny.  He'll call…eventually.  He just hasn't yet because…one of the other guys might answer it!  Roy leaped off the bunk and nearly ran to the phone in the dayroom.   First he rang John's number, but didn't get an answer.  He hung up, and dialed again.       "Joanne?  No…no…I'm fine…Johnny's fine…everyone's fine………look…I will…I won't forget…no, I will…Joanne? Has Johnny called over there by any chance?  No, he's not missing."  Exactly.   "He was here, but he left…no…Joanne…………JOANNE! Just, if he calls, tell him…"  Tell him what?  Think….think!  "Tell him no one's mad or anything, and he should just call me.   I'll explain later…….Joanne…….I will…….ok……OK….Bye."  He hung up the phone to find all eyes watching him.       "We really blew it with this party, we put to much pressure on him," Marco said sadly.  Mike nodded in agreement.      "What do you mean, it would have been a great party.  To much pressure to what, have fun?" Chet asked.      "We made it too big.  You don't want a bunch of people around on your first day back.  First you have to get back into your routine, then you have the party."      "Well if that's so Marco, why didn't you say anything?"      "Just forget it Chet."      "No, you're saying it's my fault."      "I didn't say that, I just mean I understood why he left."      "Well you explain it to us then, because I'd really like to know.  I'm sure Roy would like to know too, wouldn't you Roy!"      Roy rolled his eyes to the sky and headed out the door.  "Leave me out of it," he told them.      Roy walked slowly to the locker room, wishing to be alone.  He angrily shoved open the door, and ran smack into Thomas.      "Sorry," he mumbled without conviction.  He sat down on his bench, and examined his shoes.  He hadn't buffed them that morning.  He longed for something mundane to do, so he opened Johnny's locker to borrow his shoeshine kit.  "When did he do this?" he asked the air.      Thomas answered before he had time to think about it.  "He did it this morning, right after he got here."      "When?"      "Right after he got here," he repeated.      "You saw him?"      "Yeah, I saw him."      "When?"      "Right after he got here," he said again, angrily.      "Well…what did he do?  Did he say anything?"      Thomas wished he had kept his mouth shut.  He didn't feel it was his business to tell this other guy everything that had come to pass in the locker room that morning.  "He said 'Hi' to me, and he shook my hand…you know…that sort of thing."      "Oh," Roy said, a bit disappointed.  "Well, then what did he do?"      Thomas shrugged, trying to think of an honest answer, without telling too much. "He…. just…cleaned out his locker, and dumped it all in there," he said, pointing to the trashcan.      Roy looked at him for a moment, then went over to inspect the can.  He pulled out the black duffel and unzipped it.  He saw it was Johnny's all right.  He zipped it shut, and placed it into his own locker; then went into the bunkroom, without another word to Thomas.      "Your welcome," Thomas hissed as the door closed. continue