vengence

Vengence continued

Several days passed and nothing was heard. By the sixth day of the kidnapping, the arson investigator narrowed down the leads to three men. With the help of the detectives, the arson investigator determined one man fit the bill, Montgomery Bodine. The three men researched Bodine's history. They discovered that John Gage testified against him and was instrumental in Bodine's incarceration. They also learned that Bodine was released from prison six weeks before and skipped out on his parole officer. Detective Rawlins decided it was time to fill the Gages in.

***

The strain of Kaitlin's disappearance had an affect on Johnny and Jenny. They were fighting more. Jenny accused Johnny of being detached and Johnny fought back by telling her that is how he was trained. The benefits of their short vacation were gone the minute Roy called to tell them the news.

"I don't know what else they can do, Jen!" Johnny yelled at her.

"They can go down to Mexico and look for her!" Jenny shouted back.

"Don't you think they would if they could?" Johnny pleaded.

"You just don't care. You didn't want Kaitlin in the first place." That was the final straw for Johnny. He walked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"This is the last time I will ever say this to you. I love you and I love our daughter. I never had any doubts about it. Why won't you believe me?" The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable.

Jenny started sobbing. "I'm sorry, Johnny. I really am. I don't know what I'm saying half the time. I just want things to be back to normal. I want my baby." Johnny gathered her in his arms and held her.

"Angel, we have to stop attacking one another. It's not good." There was a knock at the door. Jenny looked up at John, her eyes swollen from crying. Johnny went to the door and opened it.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Gage."

"Hello Detective Rawlins. Detective Stone. Come on in."

The foursome walked in the living room, but remained standing.

"We've identified the man, John. It's Montgomery Bodine. You testified at his trial back in 1973. He was convicted for arson and setting explosives. He was released from prison several weeks ago. He fits the description." Detective Rawlins took out Bodine's latest picture and handed it to Johnny. He looked at it for several minutes before speaking.

"I remember him. He was trapped in an abandoned building cause one of his bombs went off prematurely. I remember the trial. He was one cold sonofabitch. But they had him cause of the admission he made to me while I treated him." He gave the picture to Jenny.

Detective Rawlins continued, "We've alerted the Mexican officials at the San Diego border. We know he's playing cat and mouse with you. His prison record was clean, John. There is no history of any violence, if that's any comfort to you."

"It isn't." Johnny replied.

"Now what?" Jenny asked.

"Nothing has changed, Mrs. Gage. We have our men and the Mexican officials looking for him."

"So we just wait while this man does unspeakable things to our daughter, if she's even alive." Jenny burst out crying.

"The FBI is involved now. They will also be paying you both a visit. I'm certain they will ask the same questions as we have asked. I know it will be frustrating for both of you, but it has to be done. They have their sources in Mexico and are leaning on them."

"Isn't it true the longer she's gone the less of a chance we'll get her back?" Jenny asked.

Detective Rawlins looked down, not wanting to confirm her question. However, his silence was enough. "You two need to have faith. As you know, the FBI will do everything they can to find your daughter. But we both want you to know that we are available too. If you need us, please, call."

They all shook hands and the detectives left.

"So now what do we do?" Jenny asked, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Jenny, Angel, we go back to our lives. You go back to work and I'll go back in two weeks." Johnny said sadly.

"And what if she never comes home, Johnny? What then?" Jenny's eyes burned into his soul. Johnny couldn't find the words to answer her, and sighing he turned and walked away.

***

"I don't want that!" Kaitlin yelled at the babysitter and swatted the food away. The babysitter, Maria, was very patient with Kaitlin. She was paid very good money by the tall American to take care of 'his' child. Maria, didn't speak much English, but knew the child was unhappy. She guessed she missed Señor Bodine, since he seemed to travel during the day.

Bodine gave Maria the okay to take Kaitlin with her, so she was able to play with other children.

"I want my Momma!" Kaitlin cried out. She started to have a fit. Bodine told Maria, that Kaitlin's parents were killed recently in a horrendous car accident and he was now her legal guardian. He explained that Kaitlin was so young, she didn't understand what happened and would often ask for her parents, becoming unruly when told she could not see them. Under no circumstances was she to hit or spank Kaitlin. If she misbehaved, put her in the corner and say 'time out.' So that's what Maria did. She took Kaitlin's hand and led her to the corner. In a stern voice she said, "time out."

Kaitlin knew what that meant and sat in the corner crying. She missed her family and didn't understand why she couldn't see them. Monty was nice to her, buying her toys, but she wanted to go home. Nothing made any sense to her.

***

After four weeks, and no contact, the police wrapped up the in house surveillance of the Gages' phones. Detective Rawlins informed the Gages that everything was being done to locate Kaitlin. He assured the Gages that he personally would check in from time to time and let them know how the investigation was going. None of what the police said mattered to Jenny in any way shape or form. All she wanted was her baby back in her life. She began to resent the people around her, as bitterness set in.

The days turned into weeks, with no news on Kaitlin's whereabouts. Johnny returned to work, which gave him a routine.   Staying at home, an empty house, gave Johnny too much time to think about all of his life's failures. Working was the distraction he needed.

Jenny also took on more hours at Rampart. She worked her three twelve hour shifts, but volunteered overtime.

Roy continued to work part time, teaching. He took the place of another instructor who moved out from the area.

JoAnne continued her schooling, which was proving to be quite fulfilling, despite the emptiness caused by Kaitlin's kidnapping.

Chris had his routine at Station 51.

***

"Jen?" Johnny asked. They were both sitting in their living room, listening to some music, one evening.

Jenny put her book down and looked at her husband.

"Why don't we go out tomorrow night?" He asked.

"No, I don't think I want to." Jenny started reading her book again.

"Why not?"

"I don't have to give you a reason. I just don't want to." She closed her book and took it upstairs with her.

Johnny was concerned with Jenny. He saw her at the hospital and knew her work wasn't suffering. She was a competent caring nurse on the surgical floor. But he knew she was going through the motions. He couldn't break the ever-increasing wall she was building around herself.

Johnny turned the music off and went upstairs. He found Jenny in bed, reading. He started to undress. The more he thought, the angrier he became. He took his t-shirt off and threw it at their laundry basket. Jenny looked up and saw how upset her husband looked.

"What's wrong?" She flatly asked.

"What do you think is wrong? I don't understand why you don't wanna do anything anymore. You go to work and come home. You don't wanna go out to dinner and God forbid, be with me. Do you blame me for Kaitlin's disappearance, cause I testified against Bodine so many years ago?"

Jenny didn't answer his question.

"Then what is it, Jennifer. Cause I don't know who you are anymore. And I don't like what you've become." There, Johnny said it. He used both barrels, took aim and fired.

"You don't know who I am?" She raised her voice and stood up next to Johnny. She pointed her finger at him. "Just who do you think I'm supposed to be? I am a mother that doesn't know if my daughter's alive or dead. . ." She choked on the last word, took a deep breath and continued. "I am a mother mourning the loss of my daughter, the only way I know how. Do you know how difficult it is to get up every morning? Do you know I go into Kaitlin's room hoping she'll pop out of the closet to scare me? I blame everyone, the school, my folks and above all, I blame you."

Johnny couldn't believe what he just heard. Softly, Johnny said, "but Angel, it's not my fault. It's Bodine - he took her."

"Yes, but he took her because of you." She spat at him and sat back down on the bed.

"So you really think it's my fault. Don't you think I'm suffering too?" Johnny looked down at her. Jennifer looked up at Johnny with a doubting look in her eyes, but remained silent and didn't repudiate his statement.

Johnny ran his hands through his hair. "Well, I don't know why I'm here." He went to his dresser and started taking out some of his stuff.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jenny asked.

"I'm moving out. It's obvious you don't want or trust me, so I'm gonna leave."

Jenny stood up. "No, this is your home. I'll leave." Johnny was about to argue the point, but stopped. He knew he had to let her go.

Jenny packed a bag of clothing and other essentials. After fifteen minutes she was ready to leave. "I'm going to my folks, if you need me." She slammed the door as she left.

Johnny went into the kitchen and poured himself two fingers of scotch. He drank the amber liquid then threw the shot glass into the sink.

He took the bottle, walked into the living room, sat on the couch and cried.

***

Jenny cried as she drove to her parents' home. She never imagined that this would happen in her marriage. She loved Johnny and knew he loved her, but things started to fall apart after the fire.

As she drove she relived all of the events since the fire. She thought that once they were back in their home, things would return to normal. And they were back to normal and were even better during their vacation. Then, Kaitlin's kidnapping tore everything apart. Jenny didn't know if Kaitlin was alive or not. She had no hope of finding Kaitlin alive and knew she could never have another child of her own.

She hated, despised how Johnny acted. She thought he would be more worried and want to talk with her. But his emotions crawled into a shell and he didn't let anyone in, especially her. And Jenny knew her words were cruel, but she didn't care. She wanted, needed Johnny to react, but he just did the opposite. He constantly wore his paramedic guise.

Jenny pulled into her parents' driveway. The porch light was still on so she figured her mother was still at school working in a computer lab. She took her old keys out of her bag and walked slowly to the door. She didn't look forward to the conversation she knew was awaiting her.

As the door opened, Roy looked up from the book he was reading. "Jennifer? Hi!" He looked at his watch. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Jenny walked over to the couch and plopped down and started to cry.

Roy got out of his favorite chair stepped over to the couch and sat beside his daughter. He gathered her in his arms while she cried.

"I'm so tired Dad. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of hoping." She looked at him.

"Why are you here, little one? Did you and Johnny have a fight?"

"Yes, Dad and it was bad. I told him, it's all his fault. I keep attacking him. I blame him for Kaitlin's disappearance."

Roy held onto Jenny as her emotions overtook her again.

"Shh, it's okay, Jen. What you're feeling is natural. We always strike out at the ones we love cause we know their love is unconditional. Jen, it'll be okay." Roy held unto his daughter tightly.

"Dad, what if… what if we never find Kaitlin?"

"You can't think that way, Jennifer DeSoto-Gage. You have to believe that the FBI will find her alive. Remember what the detectives said. They have their sources and know they'll find Bodine and Kaitlin. They've camped out on the border and have their operatives in Mexico. They will find her."

"I wish I could believe you, Dad."

"We all have to believe it Jennifer. To not believe is not an option." He hugged her again. They both looked up when they heard keys opening the front door.

"Jennifer. What are doing here? Are you okay? IS IT ABOUT KAITLIN? Where's Johnny?" JoAnne rushed into the living room, panic in her heart. She dropped her books on a chair, and joined Roy and Jenny on the couch.

"Jo, everything's okay and no news about Kaitlin. Jenny and Johnny had a fight, so she came home."

Home, Jennifer thought. She realized neither place was her home anymore.

"Where's your stuff, Jen? In the car?"

Jen nodded and got up to get it.

While she was gone, JoAnne asked, "Is she okay Roy?"

"They're fighting again and I suspect both of our stubborn 'children' are letting each other have it. She said some dreadful things to him, although she didn't go into detail. You know our daughter..." Roy trailed off as Jennifer came back into the house.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go upstairs to sleep."

"Are you working tomorrow?" JoAnne asked.

"No, I didn't take any extra work this week. I can't handle it." Jenny started to walk up to her own room.

"Honey, wait a minute. Let me straighten up that room." JoAnne suddenly said, passing by her. "I need to put new sheets on the bed." She lied; knowing her real reason was to she didn't want Jennifer to see Kaitlin's belongings in the room. She needed to pack them all up and put them in a closet. When she finished she opened the door and let Jennifer in. She gave her daughter a hug and a kiss and let her alone.

JoAnne walked back downstairs to Roy. She sat down next to him, cuddling into his strong arms.

"I'm worried about her Roy. She's losing so much weight and looks so drawn."

"I know, Jo. I see it too. But, there's nothing we can do but support her. If she wants to stay here, she should stay."

"Roy, that's not right. She and Johnny need to work things out. And you have to stop interfering." JoAnne pushed her index finger into his chest.

"I'm not interfering. I'm just…."

"You are just butting in."

Roy didn't agree but wasn't going to argue with his wife. He kissed her on her forehead and continued to hold her.

***

Bodine parked his car just down the street from the Gages' home. Thanks to the trees that thinned out along the roadway, he had an excellent view of the new home. He waited and watched. Suddenly the front door slamming brought a smile to his face. He watched as Jennifer hurried out of the house with a suitcase in hand. She tossed the bag into her car, jumped in, slammed the car door and quickly drove out of the yard leaving a trail of dust behind her. "Wonderfu,l" Bodine thought. "It does look like ole John Gage is losing everything." Getting out of his car, he carefully checked around to be sure no one was looking. He walked onto the Gages' property, up to Johnny's Rover and left a little note and a package under the windshield wiper. "There we go Gage ole boy. Let's see if you get a charge out of this. I wish I could stick around to watch, but I have a little lady waiting on me." Bodine chuckled as he climbed back into his car and drove away. He was headed back to Mexico and promised himself only one more trip after that. Then his job would be finished.

***

Johnny woke up not knowing where he was. He realized he fell asleep on the couch and awoke with a mild hangover. He was glad he didn't have to be at work until the afternoon, as he was going to take his class out in the field later.

Johnny thought about Jennifer. He missed her and finally realized something. Jenny didn't have the experience with relationships that he had, so she had nothing to fall back on when it comes to solving problems. As smart as she was as a nurse, her 'lifetime' experiences were sheltered. JoAnne and Roy protected their baby from the difficulties life often served up. Johnny dealt with adversity very early in his life, which probably resulted in why he reacted the way he did.

He got up and went into the kitchen to get the coffee going. The aroma of coffee was a small comfort. He went outside to get the paper and that's when he saw it. On his car was a Pooh bear with a note around its neck. Johnny started to shake as the adrenaline surged through his body. He ran to the car and snatched the stuffed toy. He ripped open the envelope and read the letter.

'Hello John,

So how does it feel to have your life turned upside down and not know what's going to happen from day to day?

Do you like your new routine, wondering if your daughter is alive and well? Are you wondering if I've done anything to her? Is she sick? Is she crying? Does she miss her mother and father? Does she even know who they are anymore? Is she scared? And how are things going with the Misses? Do you think your marriage can stand it?

Do you like the picture I enclosed? This is the last one I'm ever gonna take of her.

Well, get used to it Gage, cause you are never, ever going to see Kaitlin again. She's settling in so well here and we wouldn't want to upset her pattern. You know how children need schedules and discipline.

You won't see me or hear from me again, Gage.

And your daughter is so pretty. They like pretty American girls in Mexico.

Monty'

Johnny started shaking after reading the letter. He looked at the picture and saw Kaitlin, sitting at a table playing with a stuffed cat. Johnny cried out in anguish when he read the letter again. He wanted to crumple the letter up. He wanted to find Bodine and tear him to shreds.

Johnny took the bear and returned to the house. Steadying his shaking hand, he picked up the phone to call the FBI.

After he spoke with the Agent in charge, he dialed Roy's phone number.

"Hello."

"Hi Roy, it's John. Let me speak with Jenny?"

"She's resting Johnny."

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. He believed Roy was running interference for her.

"Roy, it's important. I need to speak with her." Johnny insisted.

"She really doesn't want to talk with you, now." Roy replied, raising his voice.

"Roy, I gotta talk to her."

"Why so you can upset her more? She doesn't need that, Johnny. She looks terrible. She's not eating…."

Johnny cut in, "don't you think I know that? Roy, she's my wife and I need to talk with her."

Roy was about to answer when Jenny took the phone from his hand. "I'll talk to him Dad." Jenny said with a lack of emotion.

"Yes, Johnny?"

"Jen, you need to come home. There's been a development."

"What? What happened?"

"I got a letter from Bodine. And he enclosed a picture."

Jennifer started to shake. Roy caught her before she fell. "What does it say, Johnny?"

"Jen, Angel, come home. The FBI is on their way over. She's alive, Jen. She's alive."

"Okay, Johnny, I'll come home." Jennifer answered. A swirl of emotions ran through her head. Relief that her daughter may still be alive. Despair that she would be seeing Johnny again so soon after their fight. She sighed and turned to her father, defeated as she hung up the phone.

"What, what is it?" Roy asked.

"She's alive, Dad. Bodine sent a letter and included a picture. I gotta go home. The FBI is coming over." Wearily, Jenny started to pick up her stuff.

"No, little one, leave it here. I'll take you to Johnny."

***

Roy drove to Johnny's house. Jenny stared out the window, not saying a word as the made their way to her home.

When they arrived, the FBI agents were there. Roy and Jenny got out of the car and went to the house. Jenny walked in and looked at Johnny. She saw how terrible he looked. He moved over to her and hugged her. She didn't return the gesture.

"I want to see the note." Jenny said.

Agent Maxwell took the letter that was wrapped in plastic and gave it to her. Jenny read it and started crying. Roy walked over to her and read the letter over his shoulder. He started biting his lip.

"Where's the picture?" Jenny asked. Johnny handed the plastic wrapped instant picture and gave it to her.

"Oh my baby, my baby. What has he done to you?" Jenny muttered when she saw how Kaitlin's hair had been cut making her look like a boy. "Oh Kaitlin," she moaned before fainting. Roy caught her before she hit the floor.

Johnny looked at Roy who was holding her. "Best bring her upstairs, Roy." And that's what he did. Johnny followed along motioning for the agents to wait downstairs.

Roy gently placed her on the bed. "Where's your B/P. cuff, Johnny?"

"Ah, lemme get it for you." Johnny went to the closet and pulled out his first aid bag. He handed the cuff to Roy.

"Her respirations are 20 and her pulse is 75." Roy wrapped the cuff around her arm. "Her B/P. is 110 over 70, normal." Roy said to no one in particular.

"She just fainted, Roy. She's stressed out from seeing the picture and what happened last night. Shit." Johnny rolled his fist into a ball and wanted to hit something, but there was nothing to strike. Johnny continued, "you know that shmuck left a Pooh bear with the note? He left it on my car, Roy, my car. He was here, on my property. What does he do, leave Kaitlin alone?" Johnny bit his lip to keep his emotions in control.

"Johnny, what are the agents going to do?"

"Well, they're gonna take the evidence to the lab. Lot a good that's gonna do. They called the border police, but who knows when he left it. Bodine coulda left it 2:00 in the morning and he'd still be back in Mexico by now. That guy can keep crossing the border, like it was crossing a street. Man, he's a dead man if I ever see him again."

Jenny started to stir. Johnny bent down to be by her and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, Angel, how ya feeling?" Johnny asked with concern.

"What happened?"

"You fainted."

Jenny remembered what she was doing before passing out. She sat up fast and had another wave of dizziness wash over her.

"Hold on Jen, take it easy." Johnny said. He looked at Roy and cleared his throat. "Roy, I need to talk with her." Roy nodded his head understandingly. He got up, looked over his shoulder before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Johnny sat down on the bed next to Jenny. He took her hand in his.

"Jenny I love you and I'm sorry about yesterday. This whole thing is making me crazy. I need you Angel. You are my rock an' I knew that since the day I got shot. You sat there with me the entire time, holding my hands and telling me things to help me forget about the pain. I don't know what you want from me; what I can do to help you, help us during this. Angel, I'd do anything for you. Don't shut me out." Johnny wiped the tears away from his eyes.

"Johnny, I need you too." Jenny wrapped her arms around Johnny's neck. He hugged her.

***

As Johnny predicted, the FBI got no more clues from the note and the Pooh bear. Again, days went by without any word from Bodine. Johnny feared what Bodine wrote was coming true. Unless the FBI found Bodine, Johnny believed he'd never see his daughter again.

Christmas came and went, and there was no joy in either the Gages' or the DeSotos' home. Instead of the usual merriment, Christmas parties, decorating, shopping for gifts, and paying visits to friends, the two families let Christmas pass as though it was just another day of the year. This was the second year in a row, that the holidays were a somber time, as last year's fire to the Gages' house destroyed their holiday spirit.

***

Jenny again went through the motions, working at Rampart. Although she and Johnny didn't fight, they were hardly talking. And, there were nights that Jenny slept in Kaitlin's room. She wouldn't let anyone in Kaitlin's room. And when JoAnne wanted to start to pack things up, Jenny told her in no uncertain terms to leave everything alone.

Johnny also showed signs of depression. His friends at Rampart, like Dixie and Brackett, tried to help him, but he flatly said no. Johnny separated himself from those who loved him because he blamed himself for his daughter's disappearance.

Weeks without Kaitlin turned into months. Johnny and Jenny slowly began to realize they might never see their daughter again. One night, several months into Kaitlin's disappearance, Jenny walked into her daughter's bedroom. She picked up Kaitlin's favorite Pooh bear and sat down in the hand made rocker Johnny built. She hugged the bear and slowly rocked, staring at the empty bed. Johnny stood at the bedroom door. The sight before him was heart rending. When Kaitlin was born, Johnny knew she was his last chance to be a father. He hoped that he would grow old, watch her grow into a beautiful young woman like her mother. He wanted to be there to walk her down the aisle, to give her hand to a man she would grow to love more than life itself. He wanted to have grandchildren. He wanted to tell them stories about their great granddad and he when they worked at 51's together. The empty bed in his baby's room reminded him he'd never get the chance to full fill is hopes or dreams.

Stepping into the room, Johnny walked over to Jenny. He knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Angel, I promise you, I won't let anyone ever talk me into packing this room up."

Jenny turned her head to gazed into her husband's eyes. Her tears streamed down her cheeks. Leaning into his chest, Jenny began to wail like she never cried before. She dropped the Pooh bear and gripped onto Johnny, sobbing into his chest. After some time, when the tears stopped flowing, Johnny helped Jenny up out of the rocker. Together they walked out of the room. Johnny stopped long enough to switch off the light and close the door. Without looking back, Johnny and Jenny retired to their own bedroom. Curled in each other's arms, they fell into a comfortable sleep, both dreaming of their baby during happier times. It was the first night, in many months that either of them had slept well.

***

"Hey Cap, do you know where Chris is?" Jeff asked Captain Lopez.

"He's in the locker room, I believe."

"Thanks Cap." Jeff walked into Station 51's locker room and saw Chris sitting in front of his locker, looking at some pictures. Jeff walked over and sat down next to his partner.

"This is Kaitlin when I first held her. Johnny was such a proud poppa that he was taking pictures all the time." Chris gave the picture to Jeff to look at. "And this is her first birthday party. Boy, did Johnny and Jenny go all out. See how my Dad is grinning there?" Chris gave this picture to Jeff. "But this is my favorite picture of her." Chris gave Jeff a picture of Kaitlin surrounded by her Pooh bears in the house, prior to the fire. She had a goofy grin on her face and was posed among all of her plush bears. Chris wiped the corners of his eyes.

"You know Jeff, it's times like this, I'm glad I'm not seeing anyone. I don't know if I could go through what they're going through."

Jeff smiled and handed the pictures back to Chris. "I wouldn't go that far, Chris. And you shouldn't be giving up hope, either. Someday, when you all least expect it, Kaitlin will be back home again."

Chris looked at his partner full of doubt. Kaitlin had been gone for so long now, he had almost given up hope that he'd ever see her again. Taking a deep breath, he looked at his partner and best friend, and asked, "Well, tell me, how would Dana react if this happened to you two?"

Due to the seriousness of the conversation Jeff tried not to smile as he thought about Dana Faraday whom he was engaged to. "It's not something Dana and I talk about. I mean, why would we. Sure we want kids, someday, and I guess we'd react just like Johnny and Jenny have. Why are you so morose today, Chris?"

"Christmas was hard not having Kaitlin around and now, her birthday is just around the corner. I've just been thinking about her lately and I really miss her. I'm just taking stock of the things in my life and the things that are missing too."

Jeff patted Chris' back. He understood how Chris was feeling, as he too missed the little girl he of thought like a niece. "We gotta go to that demonstration, remember? We're gonna be interviewed by Meg Hall, that TV. Reporter."

Chris nodded then got up and put the pictures of Kaitlin away, behind the Smokey poster his "Uncle Johnny" gave him. He and Jeff then walked out to their squad. Chris poked his head into his Captain's office to tell him where they were going. Then, the two men got into the truck and headed toward the television station.

***

"That's was a great demonstration, Chris, Jeff. I want to thank you for coming down to the station." Meg said as she shook both men's hands.

"Oh the pleasure was all ours." Jeff said with a smile on his face.

Meg, standing 5' 7" with long chestnut brown hair tied back, was staring at Chris. "So tell me Chris, did you always want to be a fireman?"

Chris smiled and shook his head. "Oh yea, from the minute I knew what it was, I wanted to be a fireman."

"Why was that, Chris? Did you have a little red fire truck as a kid?" Meg asked with a bit of a laugh.

Chris laughed, "no even better. I had a big fire truck. My Dad was a fireman. In fact, he was one of the first six paramedics LA County trained."

Meg was surprised by his answer, considering she was kidding him. "That sounds like a story in itself. Maybe I can interview him for this story."

Chris shook his head. "I don't think so. My Dad's a really private guy."

"What about some of the guys he worked with from the beginning like his partner? Do you think he'd talk?"

"Definitely not." Chris said rather rudely. He saw how his answer shocked Meg. He put his hand on her arm. "I'm sorry Meg. My Dad's partner is going through a rough time now and we're all a bit protective of him."

"Oh I see. Are they still active in the Department? Are the still fighting fires and performing their paramedic duties?"

"My Dad was a Captain over at 45s until last year. He's semi-retired and teaches new recruits."

"And your father's partner…..?"

Chris smiled, "Meg, I'm not gonna tell you."

Meg looked disappointed. Jeff was standing off to the side allowing the two people to converse. "I don't want you to think badly of me, Chris. How about I take you out for a drink and we can go over the material I got today. That way, I'll be sure I don't confuse my EKGs from my CBCs." She handed Chris her card and squeezed his arm. "Call me sometime." She strutted back into her office building.

"Whoa Nelly!" Jeff said to Chris. "If you don't call her, I will!"

Chris looked at Jeff, "whaddya mean?"

"Chris DeSoto. You've got to get out more. Meg has her eyes on you."

"You think?" Chris, confused, looked to the door that Meg just walked through.

Jeff just laughed.

***

Johnny came home from work earlier than usual. He was feeling under the weather, had no pressing work so he decided to go home to rest.

Jenny wasn't working that day and didn't expect her husband to be home so early. Johnny walked into the house and saw Jenny sitting in the living room with papers scattered about. Johnny's entrance into the house surprised her and she struggled to hide all the papers.

Concealing her shock, she got up to greet Johnny and move him away from the table. "Hey, what are you doing home so early?"

"Not feelin' to good and left Brice with my evening class. You know he's always looking at ways to improve my students." Johnny walked over to the table and looked at the documents. "What's all this?" He asked as he pointed to the papers.

"Oh it's nothing, just a little bit of research." Jenny tried to play it down.

Johnny sat down on the couch and picked up some of the documents and started to read them.

"Adoption? Surrogacy? What's going on here, Jen?"

Jenny sat down next to Johnny and put her hand on his leg. "Johnny, I want to have another child. I never wanted Kaitlin to be an only child, but now…."

Johnny sighed and leaned back against the couch. "How come you never told me, Angel?"

Jenny turned around to face him. "Do you know what I feel like to have my baby stolen from me? And I know I can never have my own child again. I feel so empty, Johnny. Don't you remember when I was a child, I always wanted to have a big family? Now I don't even have my own biological child."

"Jenny, we have to believe that we will find Kaitlin. You can't lose the faith."

"You don't understand Johnny and I don't think you ever will." Jenny moved to the table to put all the papers in one place.

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. The strain of Kaitlin's disappearance was taking a huge toll on his marriage. He never thought about how many children he would have once he married. Kaitlin so happily consumed him that he never thought about having any other children. But now, without her, he missed being a father. He put his hand on Jenny's arm to stop her from putting the papers away.

"So you have stuff from adoption agencies, surrogate mothers, in vitro services and what else?"

Jenny's eyes brightened with Johnny's question. "Johnny, we don't have many options. If we were to have another biological child, we would need a surrogate womb. I can donate the eggs, but can't grow our baby in me." Jenny rubbed her stomach. "We would have to find a woman willing to be a surrogate mother."

"That scares me, Angel. Why not adoption?"

Jenny looked at Johnny and frowned. "Adoption takes too long and I'm afraid we'll get rejected, Johnny."

"Why?"

"Well, any adoption situation is scored based upon our criteria. Now don't get upset, but because of your age and your medical history, Johnny, we probably will fail to meet the criteria."

Johnny shook his head. "I never knew. What about a private adoption?"

"Johnny, do you have any idea how much that costs? It's over $20,000 and up. We don't have that kind of money."

"Angel, you are really throwing me here. I had no idea you were thinking about another child. I mean we never talked about it."

"Well, you right about one thing. We haven't talked about it. In fact, we haven't really talked much lately at all, except to exchange pleasantries."

"Not again, Jenny. What do you want from me?" Johnny said in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I want to know what you are thinking. I want to know what you're feeling. Instead I get this blank wall." Jenny crumpled the papers in her hands and threw them down on the floor.

Raising his voice, "Jenny, you've known me for a very long time. How I act should not shock you anymore. I can't give you something that's not in me. I'm not that kind of person."

"But Johnny, don't you need someone to open up to? You're there for me when I need you emotionally. I just want to be there for you."

Johnny moved closer to Jenny and put his arm around her. "You are there for me, every day and every way I need you. I do talk to you about things, but….." He trailed off.

"I know, you've told me time and again, you weren't brought up that way."

"Yes. My father wasn't an emotional man, from what I remember of him. I guess I'm the same way."

"But it doesn't mean you have to continue to be that way."

Johnny laughed and hugged her. "If it was only that easy, Angel."

"If it was important to you, if I was important to you, you'd try." Jenny looked deeply into Johnny's eyes. That's when Johnny knew he was losing the battle. He could never turn his Angel down.

"I can't promise, Jen, but I'll try." He hugged her and kissed her forehead.

***

Several days later, Jenny purposely drove to her parents' home to talk with her mother.

"Hi Mom." Jenny said as she walked into her parents' home.

JoAnne came out from the kitchen. "What do I owe this visit to?"

Jenny walked over to her mom and hugged her. "Can't I come over to say hello?"

"Well, since you've been married, you've come over a handful of times to say hello. And knowing you, something must be up."

"Is it that obvious Mom?"

"Come here and sit down. Tell me what is it?"

"I can't get Johnny to open up to me and tell me how he feels about this whole thing. I know he's upset. He's not aware, but he talks in his sleep and I hear what he says. But when I talk to him about it, he shuts me out. It's so frustrating."

JoAnne shook her head in understanding. "Jenny, let me tell you a story about your Dad and me. You know we met when we were nine. We were friends from early on and that friendship grew into love. Your father is a very private person. There are many things that took years for me to learn about him. He didn't open up even to me. Some even called your father, inflexible. But he changed over the years. And I think he changed due to me among other people."

"So you're telling me to give Johnny some time?"

"No, Jen, I can't tell you what to do. What I'm trying to say is be patient with yourself and with Johnny. He's a good man."

"I know that Mom."

"No, I don't think you do. When I said your father was inflexible and changed over the years due to some people, I strongly feel that Johnny was another factor in your father loosening up."

"How do you mean?"

"The first time I met Johnny was at his birthday party Dixie threw for him oh back in 1971. Here was this man your father was talking about and I couldn't see the charm in him. And then he insulted Kel Brackett. I remember telling your Dad that I thought Johnny was a rogue. Your Dad just laughed at me and said I didn't know him."

"Go on."

"One day your Dad invited Johnny over for dinner. I really wasn't that thrilled, but didn't confront Roy about it." JoAnne looked away, remembering that evening. "Johnny came over wearing a tie and sports jacket. He looked so uncomfortable. He came inside and sat down in the living room, probably where you're sitting now. He made some small talk with Roy, while I was in the kitchen. Chris came running downstairs and Roy introduced Johnny to him. I saw Johnny's eyes sparkle when he met Chris. And then you bounded downstairs. Oh, I guess you were about three years old. Johnny saw you and stopped talking. He smiled. I guess that was the first time I notice your husband's crooked grin. He walked over to you and picked you up. And you know what you did?"

Jenny shook her head no.

"You proceeded to throw up on him!"

Jenny blushed, "no I didn't!"

"Yes you did. And Johnny didn't say a word. Johnny handed you to your father and he brought you back upstairs while I rescued Johnny's sports jacket, apologizing the entire time.   Johnny just laughed it off, saying he was used to worse, training to be a paramedic and all. Your father tucked you in and we went and had our dinner. Johnny spent the entire night giving Chris attention. He even put him to bed. Now don't repeat this to your brother." JoAnne smiled and continued, "Chris wanted to go home with Johnny. Roy was a little embarrassed and insulted. But Johnny would have none of it and told Chris the only way he'd be his friend is if he stayed here because that's where he belongs. The next day, Johnny came by to see how you were feeling. If memory serves me, he brought a small stuffed animal for you. He gave it to you, but you were really out of it. Johnny just smiled, stroking your head and I think that's the first time he called you his little Angel. That's when I knew Johnny was a special person."

Jenny listened to what her mother said, letting it all sink in.

"It was after about three months, that I noticed your father relax more. He seemed to be happy at work and that translated to our home life. I truly believe that Johnny Gage's quirkiness rubbed off on your father."

"I guess I never saw it that way."

"Why would you, Jen? You wouldn't know your father in any other way than you see him now." Changing the subject, "any news on Kaitlin?"

"No mom, nothing. But Johnny and I are talking… actually I'm talking and Johnny is thinking about having another child."

"You are? How? Adopting?"

Jenny shook her head no; "we won't qualify. We're gonna look into a surrogate mother."

"Really? How do you go about finding a surrogate?" JoAnne asked.

"There are lawyers that handle it, so we'd have to find one.   It's all so complicated, Mom. I think Johnny would be happy with just one child, but you know I always wanted a big family."

JoAnne laughed. "Yes, I remember." Suddenly JoAnne's demeanor changed, as she thought about Jennifer's revelation. JoAnne started to think that perhaps she could be the surrogate womb for her daughter. However, she'd have to do some research first before offering herself up. And, she knew Roy would not approve of her decision. But it was her body to do what she could to help her daughter. She'd have to look into it further before saying anything.

"Mom? Mom? You look a million miles away."

JoAnne laughed. "I was just thinking about babies, that's all. So what are you going to do next?"

"Johnny hasn't agreed to another child, but at least he's thinking about it. And I'll look into lawyers."

"That's a good sign. But don't give up on Kaitlin, please."

Jenny's eyes filled with tears. "I will never give up on Kaitlin. For as long as I live, I'll hold out hope that my baby will come back home."

***

"Come on Kaitlin," Bodine said. "I don't want to tell you again!" Monty picked her up and spun her around several times and put her down gently on the floor.

"Okay Monty, I ready." Kaitlin said giggling. Six months passed. Kaitlin got used to living with the man she called Monty and the woman she called Maria.

"Monty? Why you cut my hair again?"

"Because it was getting too long. Don't you like it?"

"It's short. I look like a boy!"

Monty laughed. "No you certainly do not look like a boy. You are the prettiest senorita in Mexico. And see my hair? I changed it too. It's short like the other boys here.

"That's why I look like a boy cause it's short!"

Kaitlin adapted to her life in Mexico. She was learning Spanish from Maria and the other children she played with. When Monty was home, he spent as much time as he could with her.

"Kaitlin, we have a long trip ahead of us. Do you need the potty?"

"No Monty."

"Do you have your backpack? What's in it?"

Kaitlin picked up her bag and looked inside. "I got my jacket, my snack, my coloring book and my cat.""

"Good girl. You're ready to go. Now say goodbye to Maria."

"Kaitlin walked over to Maria. "Adios Maria." Maria bent down so Kaitlin could kiss her. Kaitlin gave Maria a hug.

"Adios Senorita Kaitlin."

Bodine picked Kaitlin up and left his cottage in Rosarito Beach.

"Where we go, Monty?"

"Well Kaitlin, I have a surprise for you. And you know with surprises, I can't tell."

Kaitlin pouted.

"Now put that silly pout away, Kaitlin. It doesn't work on me." Kaitlin smiled. Monty continued to hold her as he walked to the bus stop.

***

"Johnny?"

"Yes, Jen?"

"What's your schedule at Rampart today?"

"I've got a full day of classes. Then I have to review some new protocols."

"What time will you be home?"

"Oh, I think around seven. Why?"

"I just want to know if I should wait to have dinner with you." Jenny said lacking emotion.

"Jen, you don't have to wait. I can pick something up on my way home."

"If you want."

Johnny walked over to Jenny and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later."

Johnny walked out the door and got into his Rover. Today was just like any other day. He went to work, came home and went to sleep. There was no more joy in his life. His routine was set and he saw no way to break out of it. He and Jenny were existing with each other, but not really living. He remembered his marriage vows, 'for better or worse', but he didn't know how much longer he could survive in this void.

***

"Now remember Kaitlin, I 'm gonna bring you into this big building and I want you to be quiet. I'm gonna put your jacket on and put the hood on your head, because it's cold in there. Okay?"

"Okay Monty." Bodine took her windbreaker. He kissed her forehead and muttered to himself, "I hope you remember me."

He went into the building with Kaitlin in his arms. He took the elevator to the 7th floor.

"Kaitlin, I'm gonna leave you in this room, while I do some shopping. I'll be back later for you. Okay, my little Kaitlin?"

Kaitlin smiled and gave Monty a kiss on the cheek. "Monty, don't stay gone long. PLEASE?!" Monty smiled. He wished he could tell her the truth, but knew she wouldn't understand. He put her down and watched Kaitlin look around the office. She seemed to recognize the layout and went right to the closet. Monty knew he was doing the right thing. He took the letter out from his pocket and put it in her backpack. He opened the door, looked both ways and left.

Kaitlin went into the closet and was pleased to find some of her old toys there. She pulled as many of them out and played with them on the floor.

***

"Roy, I got those new protocols to go over tonight. Wanna review them together?" Johnny asked Roy as he walked back to his office.

"Sure I can. JoAnne's studying at home. She's got finals." Roy smiled, thinking about how much JoAnne accomplished with her schoolwork.

They got to Johnny's office. Johnny opened the door and saw a mess on his floor.

"What the hell?" Johnny said stepping into his office. When he began to look around, he noticed a small child curled up on his couch asleep. "Kaitlin," he whispered.

"Kaitlin? KAITLIN? Is that you?" He ran over to the couch and touched her. He couldn't believe his eyes. His Kitty Kate was there. Johnny looked at Roy with disbelief in his eyes. Roy joined him at the couch also not comprehending what he saw. They both touched her to reassure themselves that she was there.

Kaitlin stirred. She opened her eyes and cried out, "Daddy? Poppie?"

"Yes, Kaitlin, it's Daddy and Poppie." Johnny cried as he picked her up hugging her tight. Roy had the biggest grin on his face.

"How did you get here Kaitlin?"

"Monty left me. But he be back. He promised." Kaitlin played with Johnny's face as she told him. Johnny continued to hold her, afraid if he released his grip, she'd disappear.

After several minutes, Roy spoke up. "Johnny, don't you think you should call Jennifer and the FBI? And she should be checked by a doctor."

Johnny looked at Roy and nodded. Choking on his emotions he said, "just give me a minute. Can you get the phone for me?"

Roy went to the desk and brought the phone to Johnny.

"Here Kaitlin, sit next to me and Poppie. I'm gonna call home and get your Momma here."

"Okay Daddy."

While Johnny dialed his home number Roy touched Kaitlin's head and stroked her hair. He needed to touch her to reaffirm she was sitting next to him.

"Hi Jenny."

"Hi Johnny."

"Jenny, you are not going to believe this, but Kaitlin is here with me in my office."

"What? Don't play games with me."

"Jen, I'm not. She's here. I got back from class and found her sleeping on the couch. Here, I'll let her talk to you, so you'll believe me." Johnny moved the phone toward Kaitlin and said, "say hello to your Momma."

"Hi Momma! I'm here with Daddy and Poppie. Are you gonna come here too?"

"Oh my God, it really is her." Johnny heard Jenny's response.

"Johnny, I'm coming right over." Jenny hung up the phone, grabbed her keys and ran out the door.

"I'm going to call JoAnne." Roy got up and took his cell phone out to call his wife.

Johnny picked Kaitlin up and held onto her.

"Daddy really missed you, honey."

"I missed you too, Daddy. I cried lots, but Monty made me smile. Where's Monty? Will he be here soon?"

Johnny didn't want to answer that, so he didn't. After several minutes of watching his daughter, he reached over and grabbed Kaitlin's backpack. Looking inside, he found the letter. He opened it to read it.

'John,

Now you have an idea how I felt all those years in prison, not knowing what each day was going to bring me. It was a living hell. You have an idea what it's like to lose your own family.

You have a wonderful daughter and I bear her no malice. She's the daughter I would have liked to have had.

Just remember John, that if I did it once, I can do it again.

Revenge is sweet.

Monty'

A shiver coursed Johnny's body as he read the letter. He shook those thoughts out of his system and looked at his daughter. "Are you hungry, Kaitlin?"

Kaitlin sighed and nodded her head.

"Roy, can you get something for her to eat, please?" As much as Roy didn't want to leave, he knew he had to.

"Sure. Kaitlin, do you want to hamburger?"

"Sure Poppie!" Those two words melted Roy's heart. He walked to the door and opened it. He looked over his shoulder again and left Johnny's office.

Johnny picked Kaitlin back up and put her on his lap. He smothered her with kisses. "My Kitty Kate. I can't believe you're back. I promise you, you will always be safe." Tears rolled down his face as he continued to rock his daughter in his arms.

Roy came back after thirty minutes with food for Kaitlin, Johnny and himself. He couldn't help letting everyone he passed in the hallways and in the cafeteria know that his granddaughter was alive and had returned. Roy walked with an extra bounce in his step. His smile was so big it could light up the entire city of LA. The news spread like a wild fire through the hospital.

Dooley and Stash were in the ER wrapping up their most recent rescue when Roy approached them on his way to the cafeteria. Filled with excitement over Kaitlin's return, Stash made an announcement to dispatch over the HT. Every station, and every fire unit in the county heard the transmission. Everyone that was on duty with the fire department hooted and hollered for joy at the news.

Chris and Jeff were backing into the bay at station 51 when Stash reported his news over the airway. Bringing the squad to an abrupt stop, Chris sat disbelieving what he heard. Glancing into the office, he spied Captain Lopez, with a huge grin on his face, holding the phone, extending it to him.

Chris jumped out of the squad and hurried into the office. Everyone gathered around the office door and heard Chris' shouts of jubilation. Chris hung up the phone and his coworkers slapped him on the back congratulating him.   After thanking his crewmates, Chris looked at Jeff; happy tears filled his eyes and a smile spread over his face. "She's back. She's alive," Chris shouted.

"Well what are you waiting for Chris," Marco said beaming. "Go, see your niece."

"Come Chris," Jeff said. "I'll drive."

With no arguments, Chris ran out and jumped into the passenger'' side of the squad. Marco stepped over to the radio and put the squad out of service. As as Jeff drove the squad away from the station, the others stood in the front driveway hooting and hollering with excitement. The tones sounding only a short time later sending the engine to a trash fire disrupted the festive moment.

***

Returning from the cafeteria, Roy walked into the office. He smiled seeing his granddaughter sitting on Johnny's lap chatting away to her daddy. "Here Kaitlin, I got you a burger." Roy unwrapped the food and gave it to her.

"Thanks, Poppie." She took a bite of the sandwich. "Poppie, is Gramma and Uncle Chris coming here?" Roy smiled and nodded his head.

"Hey Roy, watch her for minute. I'm gonna call the agent." Johnny stood up and caressed his daughter's head. "Kitty Kate, I gotta make a call, so I'm gonna let Poppie sit here with you."

"Okey dokey Smokey." Those three words brought a flood of memories back to John. He walked to the phone with a million-dollar smile on his face.

***

Johnny was on the phone when Jenny rushed into his office. "Kaitlin, oh my baby."

"Hi Momma!" Jenny ran over to her daughter and scooped her up. Kneeling on the floor Jenny hugged Kaitlin securely. Happy tears began to stream down her face. Pushing Kaitlin back some, Jenny looked at her daughter, noticing her cropped haircut. She gently touched her daughter's face.

"Oh Kaitlin, I missed you, so much."

"I miss you too Momma. Where's Monty?"

Jenny looked at Johnny when Kaitlin asked. "Don't worry about Monty, sweetheart, your Momma is here now."

Jenny sat down on the couch holding Kaitlin and asking her questions. Johnny finished his phone call and sat down next to his family. Roy stood back and watched the reunion. Joy spread through his body seeing for his own eyes that his Katie Roo was okay. Suddenly the door to Johnny's office burst open. JoAnne flew into the office. She looked at Roy, and then turned to look at her daughter and son in law sitting on the couch. There sitting half on Johnny and half on Jenny was her grandbaby. She tried to hold back the sob that threatened to escape but couldn't. She bust into tears when she heard the treasured words slip from Kaitlin's mouth. "Gramma. Oh Gramma, I missed you so much," Kaitlin wailed jumping off her parent's laps and jumping into JoAnne's arms.

JoAnne hugged Kaitlin and swung her around all the while whispering soothing words to her loved one. Soon both Chris and Jeff walked into the room. They too were overjoyed to see Kaitlin and that she was indeed okay. The room started to become crowded as friends and co-workers slowly trickled into the 7th floor office to see a little girl they all believed to be gone forever, everyone shared many smiles and tears.

With the arrival of the FBI agents and Detectives Rawlins and Stone, the crowd began to peter out. Doctor Morton suggested a full medical check up for Kaitlin of which Johnny and Jenny were only too happy to oblige. While Johnny and Roy talked to the law enforcement officials, JoAnne and Jenny escorted Kaitlin down to the ER to be checked over. Chris and Jeff took up the rear. Both men sported smiles as big as LACo itself knowing that this little girl was now safe and back where she belonged.

Later in the day when all the activity settled and Morton gave his okay, Johnny and Jenny took their baby home, back to all her worldly possession that were still in the same spot, free from dust, as they were several months before when this whole nightmare began.

Jenny decided to leave her car at Rampart. Kaitlin fell asleep after Morton was finished with her, so Johnny carried her to his car. Goodbyes were said to their friends and family and promises were made to have a huge party to celebrate Kaitlin's return.

Jenny got into Johnny's Rover and Johnny put his sleeping daughter in her mother's arms. Johnny drove home stealing glances at the two most important people in his life.

Once home, they decided to not to wake Kaitlin, but to let her sleep the way she was. Both parents checked on her one last time, before retiring to their own room.

At 3:00AM Johnny woke up and noticed Jenny missing from their bed. He put his slippers on and walked to Kaitlin's room. Sure enough, Jenny was in bed, sleeping with Kaitlin. Her hand was on her daughter's head, to reassure herself that her daughter was truly home.

Seeing this site brought a wave of emotion over Johnny. He finally believed that life was good and a sense of normalcy would eventually return to his life and his marriage.

The End

Montgomery Bodine is a character from the episode Women, written by Daryl Henry.

Betty's comments: Janet and I tried to keep in tune with our series on Johnny and Jenny, keeping with the intense drama since the beginning. Through Vengence, we tried to show how the disappearance of a little girl, who wormed her way into many people's hearts affected their lives and how they dealt with it. I once again thank Janet, for working with me on this story and putting up with my "Real Life" interference's that slowed down it's completion.

Janet's comments: Watching the E! marathon I saw Monty and Johnny and the idea came to me. I bounced it off of Betty and her comeback was to watch more of the marathon for more ideas. As long as you, dear reader, enjoy the series and let's us know, we'll keep Johnny, Jenny, Roy, JoAnne, Chris, etc alive.

Editor's comment: Thanks Mary Ann and Holly for another pair of eyes.

return to main page