Chet who had been standing in the kitchen entrance walked over to him and shook his hand. "Hey John." "Chet." They stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Each man knew the other really didn't want to talk about the reason they were here, but they both knew they would. Death was weird that way, both appalling and fascinating at the same time. They knew that one day, no matter what they did, death would come for them, but in what manner and how long they would have to wait was a total mystery. Chet grinned and pointed at the hat in Gage's hand. "I see you brought your favorite girl with you." Gage smirked at Chet. "It doesn't fit Chet. I know they ordered the wrong size again." Chet shook his head and took a sip of soda from the glass in his hand. "You've been bitching about your hat for years. I think it's your head. It's shaped funny so nothing will fit right." Gage opened his mouth to make a smart retort, but stopped as a hand slipped into his. Turning away from Chet, he smiled down at Jennifer. He couldn't help looking her over, then he felt guilty for doing it. Here he was going to a funeral service and he was drooling over her. She looked too sexy in the simple back dress. He reached out and fingered the diamond necklace that hung around her neck. "It looks really nice on you." Jennifer dropped her head slightly as she smiled coyly back at him. "Yeah, it does look pretty good on me." Chet's snort made them turn to look at him. "You two need to watch yourselves. I don't know if anyone will appreciate you two ogling each other right now." Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and held tightly onto Gage's hand that he had tried to pull away from her. "They'll have to get use to us being together sooner or later." "I know, but try and tone it down some. I mean you're at a funeral, this isn't a date." Gage narrowed his eyes slightly at the smaller man. "I thought you were on our side." "I am man, why do you think I'm telling you to cool it? Some people aren't ready to accept you two together and if they're feeling all emotional and weird, they might take it out on one of you. You know how it is." Jennifer stared back at Chet for a second, then squeezed Gage's hand. "I hate to admit it, but you're right." Gage frowned at Jennifer. "He is?" She let her hand slide from his, but she didn't move away from his side. "I'm not going to act like I don't care about you, but maybe we should be careful about how we act around each other until after the funeral is over. I'd rather not give anyone ammunition against us." Gage brushed his hair back before exhaling loudly. "Okay Chet, you're right. Are you happy?" Chet surprised him. "Not really. I wish things would be easier for you guys, but you know how people are." Jennifer and Johnny knew exactly what Chet was talking about. They had found out the hard way the past few days what he meant. "Uncle Johnny can I talk to you for a minute? In private?" All three of them turned to find Chris standing by the stairwell, his posture guarded, his expression wary. Jennifer opened her mouth to say something and Gage cut her off. "Sure Chris." He gave Chet and Jennifer a slight smile before following Chris up the stairs. Chet gave Jennifer a wide eyed look. "What do you think he's going to say?" Jennifer bit her lip and shook her head. "I have no idea. Chris hasn't been around much and we haven't had a chance to talk yet." She resisted the urge to follow Gage and Chris. What ever her brother's feelings were about all of this she'd have to wait and find out. ******************************* Gage followed Chris up the stairs and into his room. He could see the tension in the younger man's shoulders, his face was drawn and tired. Chris motioned behind Gage. "Could you shut the door please." Softly closing the door, Gage prepared himself for an onslaught of angry words. He watched in silence as Chris paced back and forth across the small room, his hands nervously clenching and unclenching. When Chris turned and spoke, Gage  was surprised to see that he looked as if he were on the verge of crying. "Look...I know about you and Jen. I can't say I'm happy about it." He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, his voice growing a bit louder as he suddenly stepped forward, his face a mask of anger and confusion. Gage held his ground. He knew if he backed down from Chris concerning this, he'd never be able to face him again. "Why? Why her?! Why'd you have to go and mess around with Jen?!" His hands balled into tight fists. "You know when I first heard it, I thought it was a sick joke. I mean they were talking about you and Jen....doing it. God, I felt like popping someone right then and there. You'd never do anything like that or at least that's what I thought." Chris turned away from him and began pacing the room again, keeping his hands close to his side. "Do you know what it's been like for me? I've had to listen to all sorts of shit because of you. The guys at the station are talking about you, they're talking about Jen...do you know what it's been like to have to defend Jen and not know if what the people were saying was true or not?" Gage cocked his head to the side. He hadn't even thought about what people may have been saying to Chris. "What exactly have you heard?" Chris stopped his pacing and smirked at Gage, his expression hard. "Do you really want to know?" "Yes." Chris chuckled humorlessly. "Okay...the guys at some of the stations think Jen and you have been fucking around since she was about fifteen. How's that for some information? And you know what? I almost began to think it was true. I mean you and Jen...you're like this every time you're together." Chris had crossed the fingers of one hand and pointed them at Gage. Gage frowned and shook his head. People could be so cruel. When they didn't know the truth or understand what was going on, they always managed to make up stories that satisfied their curiosity. "Chris, you know me..." "Do I?!!" Chris yelled at him, then turned away to go and stand at the window. His shoulders shook as he fought to control his emotions. "Chris...I can't stop people from speculating. I can't make you believe me if you don't trust me. All I can say is Jennifer and I have never done anything. Hell, I didn't even know how she felt until the day of the picnic." Chris snorted and kept his back to him. "Chris, I know this is hard to deal with. Heck, Jennifer and I are having problems believing it ourselves, but we're trying to work things out. We want to make it work." Chris wheeled around and stared at him. "Make it work? Why? What's there to work out? Either you're banging her or you're not." Gage narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. "Don't talk about her that way." "Why not? Why should I defend my sister if she's whoring around with you?" Before he knew what he was doing, Gage stepped forward and pinned Chris against the wall, his face only inches from his. "Don't you ever and I mean 'ever' talk about Jennifer like that again." Chris tried to push him away and found himself held tighter. He resisted the urge to spit in Gage's face, but the words that came out were just as disgusting. "Why? What's the matter? Does the truth bother you? Does knowing that everyone thinks you're a fucking pig and Jen's a whore bother you? Maybe you should have thought twice before you fucked her brains out. Maybe you should have..." Chris' words were choked off as Gage placed a forearm against his throat and pressed down, effectively cutting off his air supply. Gage gritted his teeth as he spoke. "I said knock it off!" Chris grabbed a hold of his arm and tried to pry him off. They struggled for a few minutes, before Chris finally stopped trying to move. The lack of oxygen was beginning to take it's effect. Gage frowned and spoke in a calmer voice. "Are you done?" A curt nod was his only reply from Chris. He slowly released the pressure on Chris' neck. "Jennifer and I haven't done anything. We're dating and that's it." He jerked his arm away and moved to stand by the door. "I can't force you to accept us being together, but I do expect you to keep your mouth shut and respect your sister. I don't give a shit if people hate me or not, but don't go hurting her, she doesn't deserve it." "Yeah, well she deserves more than being with someone who's going to die!" Gage blinked a few times in confusion. "Die? Who said I'm going to die?" Chris began laughing. "You will, dad will, I will...we're all going to die one of these days. Don't you think Jen deserves someone who'll be there for her? Someone who won't go away?" Now Gage was thoroughly confused. "Chris what are you talking about?" Chris took a deep ragged breath. "I knew Steve. He's only...he 'was' my age. He's dead. You and dad could have died too. Don't you think she'd be better off with someone who'll be there for her? Haven't you seen what it's done to mom all these years? Didn't you even think?!" A light bulb went off in Gage's head. This wasn't about him and Jennifer doing anything, it was about Jennifer being with someone like him. A fireman. Someone who could be here one moment and in the next second be gone. "Chris, I'm not going to die..." "Yeah right! Tell that to Steve!" Running a hand over his face, Gage tried to think of the right words to say. Words that even he didn't know were true or not. When he looked back at Chris he knew what he was saying was right, he only hoped that Chris would accept them. "No, I don't know if I'm going to die. I could get killed today, I could die tomorrow, I could die in another forty years for all I know. None of us knows when it going to happen or where, but we can't let it rule our lives. Chris, you know as well as I do that each day on the job could be our last, but we can't stop and think about it or we'd never go on another run again." He looked Chris in the eye. "Why'd you become a fireman?" Chris looked confused for a second, then he stood straighter. "You know why." "Do I? I mean what sane person would want to do a job where'd they might get killed every day? Why didn't you become an accountant like Jennifer and work at the hospital pushing papers?" Chris frowned. "That's not what I wanted to do. You know I've always wanted to be like dad and yo..." He clamped his mouth shut. "Like what Chris? Like your dad and me? You wanted to run around and play hero?" "Damn it, you know that's not why!" Gage smiled slightly. "It's not? Then how about you tell me 'exactly' why you signed up to be a firefighter." Chris' anger began to fade. Sitting on the end of the bed, he ran his hands over his head, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. He looked so much like Roy when he was younger that Gage felt like he was going back in time to when he and Roy had discussions like this. "I want to help people. I've watched you and dad and the other guys and I've always wanted to be like you. Do the things that you do." He looked up and smiled. "You never got to see how happy dad was sometimes when he came home. I knew he loved what he was doing. I wanted to feel the same way that he did." "Then what's so wrong about Jennifer being with me if I'm a fireman?" Chris' expression grew tense again. "You also never got to see what mom went through. She didn't think I ever heard her, but I did. Do you know how many times I had to sit in this room and hear her cry? Do you know how many times I've had to watch her suffer because she'd seen a news break on the TV telling about some big fire? Every single day she'd say goodbye to dad and she'd wonder if he was coming back. Why'd you have to go and do that to Jen? Why couldn't you have left her alone?" Leaning against the wall by the door, Gage crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. "I tried Chris, really I did." He looked back up and directly at Chris, hoping he'd understand. "What if I quit being a paramedic and became an instructor, would that make things better?" Chris stared back at Gage. "You wouldn't do that." "Maybe I would. If it would make Jennifer happy, I'd do it, but you know what? I could still die." Chris gave him a confused look. "Okay Chris...how many runs have you been on to people's homes? How many times have you gone to an office, the zoo, a park? How many office workers, electricians or whatever have you had to rescue or scrape off the pavement because they've died on the job? There's not one single person who's safe. Death can happen to anyone at anytime. Sure you and I may face it day to day, but more often than not, we're the ones that make sure that other people live. We're the ones that come home at night, not them." Chris looked down at the floor, his voice shaking. "I just don't want Jen to be like mom." He looked back up, his eyes tearing. "I don't want you or dad to die." There was a knock on the door, causing them to jump. "Is everything all right in there?" It was Roy's voice that came from the other side of the door. Both Gage and Chris gave each other panicky looks before bursting into laughter. Chris answered him. "We'll be down in a minute." There was a moment of silence then Roy's voice answered him back. "Okay. You'd better hurry up though, we've got to get to the church." They waited until his footsteps moved away before they relaxed. Chris looked at Gage and gave him a sheepish look. "No matter how old I get, he always makes me feel like I'm a little kid." Gage smiled back. "I know what you mean. I could be sixty-five and I bet he'll still callin' me junior." Chris fingered the comforter on the bed. "Look...I know you love Jen, but I don't want her to get hurt." Gage could see that Chris wasn't as opposed to him being with Jennifer as he thought. It was his way of life. Their way of life. Chris knew the dangers, he knew what could happen...but so did Jennifer. "Chris, if Jennifer didn't want to be with me or any other guy in the department, don't you think she would have made it known a long time ago?" Chris stood and frowned, then sighed. "I know, but she doesn't really know what it's like. She hasn't seen the things we've seen." "Chris, she's seen enough. She knows what she's getting into." "I don't know." They stood in silence again, neither one of them knowing what else to say. A voice called from downstairs. It was Roy again. "Johnny! Chris! Let's get moving or we'll be late!" Gage gave Chris a wry smile as he opened the door. "Let's get going before he sends Joanne up." Chris smiled as he stood. Roy sending Joanne up to the kids' rooms was the ultimate punishment for them as a child. It was the when things had reached the breaking point. As he walked past Gage, he felt him place his hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew Gage was right about Jennifer, but it still didn't change the way he felt. He knew that someday Jennifer's heart would be broken and then he'd be the one left to pick up the pieces. **************************** Tossing his hat on the counter, Gage loosened the tie around his neck, then he undid the top two buttons of the collar of the dress shirt. Shrugging his jacket off, he hung it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Roy backed away from the refrigerator and held a beer out toward him. "Thanks." Twisting the top off, he dropped it on the table top, then he took a swig of the cold brew. He wasn't one for using alcohol as a crutch, but this was one of those times when all he wanted to do was get drunk to the point where he could forget everything. Leaning back against the counter, he brought the bottle back to his lips and quickly drained it. As he set the empty bottle down, Roy raised an eyebrow at him. "Thirsty Junior?" He gave Roy a weak smile as he tugged the tie off, wadded it up and tossed it with his hat. "A little." Roy knew exactly how Gage felt. The funeral had been agonizing. Having to watch the pain that the two families were suffering and then feeling the guilt from thanking God that it wasn't his family going through it all had left him feeling old and drained. He shuddered slightly and pulled open the refrigerator and grabbed another beer. He held it out to Gage. "Yeah, I'm kind of thirsty myself." Pulling out a chair, Roy sat down and Gage followed suite. They sat across from one another drinking their beers, staring down at the table top, lost in their own thoughts. The house seemed eerily quiet with all of the guests having finally gone home. Chris had decided to join his fellow shiftmates at a bar to 'honor' Steve's memory. The death of such a young fireman had hit the other younger members hard, making them realize just how quick the end could come for them all. Joanne walked toward the kitchen and stopped in the doorway as she found the two men sitting in total silence. She didn't like it when they were quiet, it wasn't normal. She was about to walk in and start some idle chatter to distract them when it occurred to her that maybe they needed this quiet time. It also occurred to her that she could use this down time as a chance to talk with Jennifer. Her daughter may have thought that she was ready for a relationship with Gage, but to Joanne, Jennifer was way in over her head. Gage wasn't some twenty year old just beginning his life, he was a middle aged man set in his ways. There was a side to Gage that she knew Jennifer had never been privy to. The petty belligerent side. The narrow-minded, old fashionedness that he sometimes possessed. She had never seen him go off on an angry rant that would have made her young daughter's ears burn. To Jennifer, he had always bent and moved to her every wish or whim. She probably expected it to continue now that she was 'involved' with him. Joanne felt that Jennifer was in for a rude awakening and knowing Gage's mood swings, it wouldn't take too long for it to happen. Without saying a word, Joanne turned and walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs. Coming to Jennifer's room, she tapped lightly on the closed door. "It's Mom, can I come in?" "Um...sure." Joanne opened the door and walked into the bedroom. Looking around, she noticed the same things that she had always seen. A prized doll rested on the pillows of the bed. Other dolls and much loved toys sat on shelves around the room. Pictures of Jennifer and the family at various stages in her life adorned the walls. The one thing Joanne did notice that was different was a picture of Gage hugging Jennifer at her graduation. Instead of sitting on a corner shelf, it was now prominently displayed on the vanity that she sat at. Jennifer had changed from the clingy black dress into a pair of old faded jeans and a t-shirt, effectively transforming her back into the young girl that Joanne was use to seeing every day. Joanne felt a twinge of sadness in the pit of her stomach. Why couldn't she have stayed little for a while longer? When had her baby turned into a woman? With a heavy sigh, Joanne sat on the bed and picked the doll up, straightening the frilly dress that it wore. An over due chat that she should have had with Jennifer was about to begin. "Jennifer, we need to talk about a few things." Jennifer stopped brushing he hair. She knew eventually her mom would start prying into her personal life, she might as well get it over with. "Sure Mom." Setting the brush down, she prepared herself for the embarrassing questions that she knew her mom was about to start asking. The first one was a doozy. "Jennifer...I don't mean to be nosy, but...are you still a virgin?" "Mom!" Joanne could feel her face turning red, but she pushed on. They had to have this talk. "I'm only asking because Johnny...he's going to expect certain 'things' from you that I...I don't know if you're prepared for them." Running a hand through her hair, Jennifer bit her lip. It really wasn't anyone's business if she was a virgin or not, but she also knew that if she didn't give her mom some type of answer, she'd keep badgering her about it. "Mom, I know Johnny has a certain reputation, but he's not going to expect me to do something that I don't want to do." Her mom's reaction startled her. Joanne snorted, then started laughing. Covering her mouth she shook her head. "Mom?" Joanne waved her off, laughing as she spoke. "I'm sorry honey, but you...you really have know idea what you're saying." Jennifer frowned and Joanne laughed again. "What you think he'll want from you and what he'll expect from you will be an entirely different thing." She set the doll down on the bed and leaned toward Jennifer. "I think you're still a virgin and you have no idea what Johnny's going to want from you. Your father..." Jennifer held her hands up and her voice rose in volume. "I don't want to know!" Joanne smirked. "You will sooner or later. Sex isn't one way Jennifer. It's not just hugs and kisses. There's so much more to it." Joanne took a deep breath. She was embarrassed as hell, but she wasn't about to stop now. Jennifer needed to know certain things. "Have you ever performed oral sex?" "Mom!!! I can't believe you!" "Honey, it's a fact of life. Men love oral sex and they have no problem wanting you to do it." Jennifer made a disgusted face as she thought of what her mom was implying. Joanne raised an eyebrow at her. "You said you know Johnny's reputation. Are you going to sit there and tell me he's never asked a woman to do that for him?" "Mom..." Jennifer shook her hands out. "...you're being gross." Joanne smiled again. "No, I'm trying to be open about this with you. You know he has and you know he's going to expect the same thing from you." She decided to shift gears in the conversation to one that she felt was more important. "What about birth control? Are you on the pill? Do you know if Johnny uses condoms?" Jennifer stood up and yelled. "I don't know!" "You don't know if you use birth control?" "Mom, we're only dating." "Right. Do you honestly think that you'll be only 'going out' with him. That you won't be sexually active? You aren't ready for this. He's a man and you're...Jennifer, I think you're not ready for what he wants." Jennifer frowned, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. "I'm not a little girl. I know he's going to want to be with me. I 'want' to be with him. The other night..." Her voice trailed off as she realized that she had almost started talking about what she and Johnny had done on the beach. Joanne eyed her, a small smile touched her lips. She had suspected something had happened the night of their date when she found Jennifer's damp sand coated clothes in the dirty clothes hamper. "Jennifer, you need to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Mom, Johnny loves me, he's not going to do anything to hurt me." "I hope not, but...just don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Why don't you date around, see what life has to offer you." Jennifer's voice dripped with sarcasm as she crossed her arms and stared down at her mom. "Oh...like you did?" "Jennifer, your dad and I...that's different." "How? You said you knew that Dad was the one for you. You said you knew when you were in grade school that he was the one you were going to marry. Well, I know that Johnny's the one for me. If he wasn't, then he'd have been married by now. It's not like he hasn't had the opportunity ya' know." Joanne sighed. She gave up. It appeared that Gage was the only man that her daughter had set her sights on. She wasn't going to change her mind all from a little talk with her. "Okay...fine...whatever. You're going to date Johnny, you'll be having sex, get married and have a few children, then you'll live happily ever after." Jennifer's voice rose again. "Isn't that the idea? Get married, have a family and be happy together?" "You should also try living a little too! You're only twenty-one for God's sake!" "So what?! You married Dad when you were eighteen and it's because you 'had' too!" Joanne's face paled slightly making Jennifer feel guilty for throwing that fact in her mom's face, but she pressed on. "Yes I'm twenty-one, but unlike you, I've gone to college and I have a job outside the home. What's wrong with me wanting to get married and start a family of my own?" Taking a deep breath, Joanne looked Jennifer in the eye. "What makes you think Johnny's ready to settle down? He's thirty-eight Jennifer. Do you think he's going to want to get married and have children at his age? You've seen his house. He's picky about what goes where. Do you think he wants to have a bunch of kids running around and tearing it up?" Jennifer smiled and shook her head yes. "Don't you remember how his place use to look? Do you remember what the living room looked like after the nights that Chris and I stayed over? Mom, he loves kids! I know he wants to have a couple of his own." Joanne frowned. "Having someone else's children spend the night is entirely different than having one of your own." Jennifer ran a hand over her forehead. She was starting to feel a headache coming on. "Mom, please. We're only dating. Maybe eventuality we'll get married, then you can start talking about the pitfalls of having children. Until then, I don't want to hear it." "What if you and Johnny have an accident? What happens then?" "Mom..." Her voice was pleading and at the same time she let enough of her anger come through. She had enough. Joanne threw her arms in the arm in resignation. "Fine! You do what you want, just promise me you'll be careful when you and Johnny..." She gestured weakly with her hands and Jennifer tucked her head down. They stood in the room eyeing one another. Jennifer's stomach growled. It was the perfect escape. "I'm going to get something to eat." Joanne stood up from the bed. "Fine, I'll join you." Mother and daughter walked down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. What they found, neither one of them expected. ********************************* Roy watched Joanne turn and walk away. He had expected her to come in the kitchen and start talking to them, but he knew where she was headed. He silently thanked her for giving him time alone with Gage and he doubly thanked her for going and talking to Jennifer. He knew he should have talked with her earlier about certain things, but discussing sex with his daughter gave him the willies. Looking across the table, he smiled slightly. Hell, he had trouble talking to Gage about anything sexual. He'd know the man for years now and he doubted that they had ever traded descriptive conversations about what either one of them did with their partners. Sure he had a stable relationship with Joanne and he loved her dearly, but there were times that he envied his younger friend, knowing that he had been with a variety of women. What were they like? How different had each experience been? His slight smile turned into a frown as his thoughts turned to who his current 'woman' was. Jennifer was the reason for the difficulties between them at the moment. It wasn't actually Jennifer's fault, it was his if he wanted to be honest with himself. The idea of Gage being with his baby scared the hell out of him. He quickly suppressed any ideas of him and Jennifer together. The last thing he wanted was a visual of the pair, grappling and moaning. Taking a long drink, Roy knew they needed to get things back to the way they use to be. Things needed to be smoothed over. He watched Gage as he drained his second beer in a few guzzling swallows. "Don't you think you should slow it down a little Johnny?" Setting the empty bottle down, Gage smiled as he stood and made his way to the refrigerator. "Nope." Taking another beer out, he twisted the top off and took a long draught. Swallowing, he frowned. "Roy did you see Steve's mom? Did you watch Donny's wife? I don't know..." "You don't know what?" Gage took another swallow of beer, thinking of what it would be like for Jennifer if he had died. "How do you do it Roy? How do you leave Joanne every day knowing that she might have to go through that?" Roy looked at the bottle in his hands, then quickly drained it. Gage grabbed another beer and handed it to him. Roy twisted the cap off and took a few drinks. He shrugged his shoulders, not really having much of an answer. "I...you just do. You get up and go to work and try and not think about what might happen." Looking at the floor, Gage sighed. "Man...she looked so old sitting there...holding that flag." He lifted the bottle and drained it, ignoring the burn that it made as it went down his throat. "He's dead and all she gets is a flag to remember him by." Roy felt a trail of panic beginning in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to think of things like this. He wanted to forget what he had seen in the warehouse. He wanted his life to go on the way it had for years. Him loving Joanne, holding her, being with her. Standing, he made his way over to a cabinet above the refrigerator and dug toward the back. His hand made contact with his intended target. He hesitated, then his grip tightened around the object. He needed this as much as Gage did. Sure it was a crappy way to deal with how they were feeling, but right now he didn't want to be aware of the feelings that he was having. He wanted to forget it all. Pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels out, he grabbed a pair of shot glasses from another cabinet. Gage arched an eyebrow at him, surprised to see what Roy was doing. "Mixing?" Roy looked at the bottle then back at Gage, a small smirk tugged at his lips. "Why not?" Gage grinned back at him. "Okay...fine by me." Roy relaxed a bit. Drinking was bad enough, but at least he wasn't drinking alone. They sat back down at the table and Roy poured them both a healthy portion of the amber colored liquid. Roy held the glass up to the light, watching it sparkle. "You know the last time I opened this?" "No." "That time you got hit by the car." "You're kiddin' me?!" "No, I'm not." Instead of getting maudlin about the past and remembering the horror of things that had happened, Gage shocked Roy with a bright smile. "Man, this will be some good shit then." Roy shook his head and found himself smiling back at his friend. Leave it to Gage to see the bright side. He raised his glass toward the younger man. "To life." Gage's smile never wavered as he clinked his glass against Roy's. "To life." They downed the liquor, both making faces, sucking in air. Gage shook his head, his voice sounding stained. "Man, I forgot how this stuff bites." Roy rubbed at his watering eyes. "You're not kidding!" He coughed, then held the bottle questioningly out. "Want another?" Sniffing, Gage blinked a few times. "Sure, what the hell." The downed the second shots, laughing at the faces that each of them made as the alcohol burned paths down their throats. Gage was feeling the effects of drinking so much in so short a time and he knew that Roy had to be feeling a bit looser as well. Neither man drank all that much and they usually had the common sense to stop after a beer or two, but for some reason it seemed okay for them to be getting drunk together. They were at Roy's house and weren't going any where so why not? It was better than going home alone and dwelling over the day's events. He watched as Roy poured a third shot. He knew he wasn't going to be able to do much of anything soon. Three beers and three shots did not make for a functioning body. His mind was already beginning to drift. A smile came to his face as he remembered a time when he and Roy had been drinking in this kitchen a few years back. Back when his life was less complicated. "'Member that time Jo went to see her mom for the day and we had that poker party here?" Gage poked a finger heavily on the table top, each word was slow and deliberate. Roy chuckled, his own voice beginning to slur as the alcohol made it's way through his system. "How could I forget? I was digging pretzels and bottle caps out of the furniture for weeks." Roy snickered. "Joanne said you puked so much that she said it made 'her' sick." Gage grimaced, then smiled. "How was I to know she was gonna want to use the bathroom and ya know...well, I don't drink a lot and it kind of upset my stomach." Roy shook his head and chuckled. "I think the five roast beef sandwiches are what upset your stomach, not the beers." Gage snickered. "Yeah, I did eat a lot then." "Then?! Junior, you eat a lot period!" Roy patted his thickening waistline as he eyed Gage's still trim body. "I wish I had your metab...metib...I wish I were able to eat a lot like you." Gage patted his stomach and smiled. "You eat a lot...you just don't do the stuff I do." Roy looked at the empty glass in his hand. He wasn't feeling much pain and he knew his partner was probably on cloud nine by now. "Ya know Junior, this isn't the way we shoulda...should deal with this." Gage waved a languid hand at him. "Aw why in the heck not? I mean when's the last time we got drunk?" Roy squinted his eyes as he thought. "Um...last year..." His face brightened when he remembered. "Last year at Chet's Barbie...Chet's picy...the party he had in his yard." A small leer appeared on Gage's face. "Ooooh yeah, I remember that. I got Jen with a water balloon right in the..." Roy held a warning finger up. "Don't. Don't even talk about my daughter like that in front of me." The leer slipped from Gage's face and he looked down at the table. "Oh...okay." He twirled the shot glass idly between his fingers. "Ya know Roy...I really do love her." Roy poured himself another shot and downed it, sucking the air between his teeth as it made a burning path over his tongue. When he looked back at Gage, he nodded his head yes. "Yeah, I know you do." Gage lifted his head to look at Roy, then he pushed his glass toward him. Roy shook his head no. "No more...we've had enough." "Aw come on. Just one more. I can still feel my teeth." Roy snickered, then poured another shot for them both, spilling a bit of the liquor on the table top. He used his free hand to swipe the damp spot off. Gage downed his shot and Roy followed suit. Leaning back in his chair, Roy sighed. "You know I wanted to kill you when you told me that you and Jennifer...that you wanted her...wanted to date her." Gage gave him a lopsided grin. "Why didn't cha'?" Roy looked down at the table. "'Cause I couldn't...you're my best friend. I couldn't hurt you." Gage leaned back and rolled the sleeve of his shirt up. "I'm glad you didn't. I think it would've upset Jen too much." Resting his head in his hands, he smiled. "You know how Jen feels about fightin'. She would've never gone out with me if I beat you up." "Yes, she would, she...hey! What do you mean you would've beat me?! I can take your skinny butt anytime!" Gage laughed at the look of indignation on Roy's face. Roy shot him another look before a smile appeared on his own face. "She would have still gone out with you. She'd yell at me, then she'd yell at you and 'then' she'd want to take care of you 'cause I beat you up so badly." Gage laughed again, knowing Roy was right about Jennifer wanting to mother him. She had been doing it ever since she was a little girl. He leaned forward and smiled at Roy. "'Member that time I broke my leg?" "Which time and what leg?" Roy chuckled at the dark look that Gage shot him. "The time my rope broke and I fell from that scaffolding." "Oh yeah. I thought we lost you that time." "Anyway...do you remember you made me stay here?" "In the kitchen? No I didn't, you slept in Jennifer's room and she bunked with Chris!" Gage rolled his eyes. Maybe they did have too much to drink. "No, no no! You made me stay here instead of stayin' at my place." Roy smiled and nodded his head yes. "Yeah, sure. What about it?" "Jen acted like my personal nurse the entire time. She was so cute." Roy smiled back at him as a picture of Jennifer at the age of fourteen came to mind. She had run around the house, waiting hand and foot on Gage. "She would have tried to bathe you if Joanne hadn't told her you had to be naked for her to do it." Gage's eyes widened slightly. "She said that to Jen?" Roy smirked back at him. "Uh huh." Gage's face screwed up and he mumbled to himself. "So I scared her that much huh?" He didn't talk low enough for Roy to not hear him. "I guess so. Jennifer stopped asking Joanne if she could bathe you." Gage shook his head no and frowned. "No, I'm not talkin' about Jen, I mean Joanne." Roy squinted at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Gage was oblivious as to what he was saying. "I guess her seeing me naked made her leery of letting Jen see me." "What?" Gage's voice was matter of fact. "Joanne never told you?" Roy narrowed his eyes. "Told me what?" His intoxicated mind finally caught up to what he was saying and Gage began backpedaling. "Uh...nothing." Leaning over the table, Roy eyed Gage suspiciously. "When did Joanne see you naked?" Gage looked at the floor, the table...anywhere but at Roy. "Um...well...remember that huge picnic all the stations from the nearby states went to?" "Yes." "Well, the changing rooms for the beach were full and we all changed by the cars." "Yes." Gage looked at Roy and knew he was digging himself in a hole, but he didn't know how to get out of it, short of running out of the house. "Well...Joanne...she kinda snuck up on me...you know Roy, she had no idea it was me. She thought I was you 'cause I was by your car." Roy was still staring at him. "And?" "Well she jumped out and...surprised me." Roy took a deep breath. "And just how did she surprise you?" ******************************* Joanne and Jennifer walked into the kitchen, the both of them a bit shocked to find the two men obviously inebriated. Joanne walked over and grabbed the bottle from Roy's hand. "Roy DeSoto, just what do you think you're doing?" Roy's voice rose as he shot her an accusing look. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Johnny naked?!" Joanne's eyes widened and she gave Gage a 'you didn't tell him did you' look. Jennifer's mouth dropped open in surprise. Gage gave them all a sheepish look and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry Jo...it kinda slipped out." Roy's head jerked to look over at Gage. 'What slipped out of where?!" Joanne snatched the shot glass from Roy and poured herself a glass. Downing it, she gasped as the liquid burned her throat. "Mom!" Roy tapped his fingers on the table. "Well?" Joanne looked at Jennifer's shocked face, then she glared at Gage who quickly dropped his head down. Looking at Roy, she swallowed nervously. "I...um...I thought that Johnny was you and I...it was an honest mistake Roy. It happened years ago!" Gage jumped in. "She's tellin' the truth Roy. I don't think she would've grabbed me like that if she thought it was me." Jennifer stared at her mom and Roy's voice rose a few octaves. "You grabbed him? Where exactly did you grab him?!" Joanne shot daggers at Gage who blinked in confusion. He was only trying to help. "It...it was an accident Roy. Honestly, I thought he was you. He was standing by our car." Roy lowered his voice. "Where'd you grab him?" He looked in Gage's direction and saw that his face was a bright red. "No...no you didn't. Jo tell me you didn't." "Honey, it was an accident." Jennifer looked at Joanne, then at Gage and then back at Joanne. "You're yelling at me about being with Johnny and you...you...you've touched him? There?!" Joanne ran a hand over her face. "I told you it was an accident. I would have never done that if I had known it was Johnny." Roy and Jennifer both looked at Gage who squirmed in his seat. "Why're you lookin' at me?! She's the one who did it!" He nodded his head in Joanne's direction and her mouth dropped open. Roy and Jennifer turned to look at her. "It was an accident!" Shaking her head, she walked over to a cupboard and put the bottle of Jack Daniels away. "Honestly you two! You shouldn't be drinking in the first place." Gage pushed himself up from his seat and swayed slightly. "I guess that's my cue to leave." Jennifer rushed over and grabbed him by the arm. "Oh no you don't! You're in no condition to go anywhere." Joanne nodded in agreement, thanking God for the change in subject. "She's right Johnny, you're in no shape to drive." "Then let Jen drive me home." He grinned down at Jennifer and hugged her to him. Roy jumped up and swayed, grabbing the table to keep from falling back in his chair. "Over my dead body she's going home with you!" Joanne smiled, then cleared her throat. "Johnny, you can stay here until you sober up. Roy, you and I need to go and have a little talk. In private." She held her hand out to Roy who in turn held his hand out to Gage. "Keys Junior." "Huh?" Roy tried to snap his fingers and failed. He shook his hand at him instead. "Your keys. Hand 'em over." "Aw mannnn. You can't be serious." "Johnny. Keys. Now." Jennifer rolled her eyes at the belligerent look on Gage's face. Turning around in his hold, she jammed a hand in his pants pocket and withdrew the keys. Gage yelped in surprise as she made contact with a certain part of his anatomy while she was digging about. He frowned down at her as she smiled sweetly up at him, then she deposited the keys in Roy's outstretched hand. Joanne then snatched them away from Roy. "I'll take care of these Johnny. You'll get them back when I feel you're sober enough." She smiled at Roy as she pulled him from the room. "Come on party boy." ******************************* As soon as Gage was sure that Roy and Joanne were out of ear shot, he glared at Jennifer. "And just what do you think you were doing?" Jennifer arched an eyebrow at him. "I figured since you let Mom feel you up then you wouldn't mind me doing it." Gage sighed. "Jen honey, I didn't...she thought I was Roy. Your dad." "Uh huh. Like she'd ever mistake you for him." "Jen come on, you honestly don't think she'd do it on purpose?" Jennifer turned away from him and smiled. She could tell that he was getting desperate and she knew he was telling the truth. When he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him, she tried to not giggle. He was being cute and pathetic. She should have been annoyed, but she couldn't bring herself to be angry with him. She smelled the alcohol on his breath as he whispered against her cheek. "Aw come on sweetheart, it was an accident. You know I wouldn't do anything with Jo...your mom...she's like a sister to me." His voice had a pleading tone to it, but it was mingled with a teasing lusty tone as well. She squirmed slightly as he kissed her neck, then nibbled at her skin. "Johnny...Mom and Dad are here." He placed another kiss on her neck. "They're upstairs." She smiled as he rubbed her shoulders. "They'll be coming back down soon." Gage chuckled as he turned her around to face him, then he backed her up against the sink. "They'll probably be busy for a while." Jennifer's eyes widened at what he was implying. "That's disgusting!" Leaning down, he brushed his lips against hers. "Is it?" Pulling back, he eyed her, the hint of a smile played on his lips. "So you think this is disgusting?" He pressed against her as he wrapped his arms around her back and neck. Her heart rate picked up as he ran his fingers down her spine. Her voice shook as she spoke. "Well...it is if it's my mom and dad." "So I guess this is okay then." Leaning down, he captured her mouth in a soul searing kiss. When he pulled back, she found herself panting. She felt both lightheaded with desire and scared to death. As he reclaimed her mouth, she weakly pushed at his shoulders before giving in to the feeling that grew within her. Running her hands through his hair, she clung to him as they maneuvered their bodies against one another. When he snuck a hand under her shirt and cupped a breast, she moaned into his mouth. She wanted him. She had to have him now. Snaking a hand down his hip, she wedge it between them. Just as she reached her intended target, the front door slammed shut. All thoughts of sex fled from her mind as she shoved him roughly away from her. Gage stared back at Jennifer in shock. Her voice squeaked as she danced in place. "It's Chris! He's home!" Grabbing Gage by the arm, she dragged him over to a chair and forced him to sit down. Grabbing his hands she shoved them in his lap. He looked at her in a blind panic as his alcohol soaked brain finally processed what was happening. Unless they played it right, they were busted! ******************************* Making his way up the sidewalk, Chris stopped and stared at the house before him. He'd lived here for most of his life and had always felt safe and secure, but not tonight. Today had brought his own mortality smack dab in his face. Steve had been around his age. He'd gone to bars and other functions where he had met the paramedic. Steve was...he mentally corrected himself...Steve 'had been' likable, smart, popular with the ladies. He had reminded Chris a lot of what Gage had been like when he was younger except he didn't have the bad temper or cockiness that his uncle had. Now it was over, Steve's life was snuffed out before he even had a chance to marry or have a family of his own. He'd be forever young. Dead. Fighting the panic that began to well in the pit of his stomach, Chris hurried up the walkway and yanked open the door, slamming it shut behind him. He was angry. Angry at the kid who set the fire. Angry that his dad come close to dying. Angry that Steve and Donny did die. Stomping his way through the living room and into the kitchen, he stopped as he spied Gage sitting at the table. He looked the older man over and could tell that something wasn't right. Gage looked guilty as hell, but of what, he didn't know. Turning his attentions to Jennifer, he eyed her. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack, like he'd caught her doing something that he knew she'd get in trouble for. Looking slowly back and forth between the pair, he knew that he had some how interrupted something between them. He stared blankly at them, the anger that he had been feeling slowly fading as he realized that he could have some fun with them. He had acquired Gage's temper, that was a well know fact, but along with it came a bit of Chet's influence in the tormenting department. He waggled a finger at Jennifer, taking a wild stab at what he thought was the reason the pair appeared the way they did. "Does Dad have any idea you two are in here messing around?" Jennifer frowned at him, her posture and voice unsure even as she tried to bluff her way out of her current situation. Chris hadn't seen anything so why should she admit that she and Gage had been playing around? Besides, it wasn't any of his business. "We are 'not' messing around. Do you see us doing anything?" Chris smirked at her. Just by the tone of her voice, he knew he had hit his mark. Like a shark circling an injured fish, he pressed on. "I don't have to 'see' you doing something to know that you did." Gage pushed himself to his feet and fixed Chris with a glare. "Don't you hafta' go to bed or somethin'?" Chris stared back at Gage, then burst out laughing. "You're drunk!" Jennifer walked over to the slightly teetering Gage and pushed him back down in his seat. "So what. He and Dad were drinking and..." "Get out! Dad's drunk too?! Where's he at?" Chris couldn't help laughing some more. There was nothing funnier than his tightly controlled dad getting drunk. He'd say and do things that he never would when he was sober. Jennifer smiled slightly and pointed at the ceiling. Chris looked above his head and Gage snickered. "Man Chris, you need to get a clue." Chris looked back at Gage and felt his face heating up when he realized what Jennifer and Gage were implying. A smile quickly worked its way back to his face. "So I guess Mom and Dad are doing what you two were doing in here?" Gage shook his head and mumbled under his breath. "Don't I wish." "Johnny!" Jennifer's stared back at Gage, both appalled that he would say something like that out loud and pleased that he wanted her that badly. Gage flinched and gave her an apologetic look while Chris made a disgusted face. Jennifer crossed her arms and glared at Chris. "Is there a point to you coming in here?" "Uh...sure...I needed a drink." He walked over to the refrigerator pretending to look over the selection of drinks. With a small smile, he picked up a bottle of beer and closed the door. Twisting the cap open, he took a swig and smiled at them. Jennifer frowned. "You know Dad doesn't like you drinking." "Oh yeah. Let them..." Chris gestured at Gage with the bottle. "...get shit faced, but I can't have one beer? Uh huh, that's a bit hypocritical." "You have your drink, can't you leave us alone?" "Why so you two can make out again?" Chris made another face. Gage stood up. Slowly walking over to him, he took the beer from Chris' hand and pointed in the direction of the living room. "Out. Now." Chris stood for a second or two, trying to decide if he wanted to push a few more buttons. The only problem was he wasn't so sure how Gage would react in his current state. Did he want to take a chance on starting a fight or would it just be better to go up to his room and leave them alone? With a resigned sigh, he turned away from them and walked out of the kitchen and made his way up the stairs and toward his room. As he placed a hand on the door knob, he could hear laughter coming from his parents room, then a soft moaning sound. Shoving the door open, he quickly closed it. There was nothing more disgusting than having caught his parents doing the nasty. Flopping down on the bed, he stared up at the ceiling and frowned again. He knew that his sister and Gage were probably all over one another again. One part of him was grossed out when he thought about his sister and 'uncle' together, but a larger part of him was jealous. He didn't have anyone to talk to or be with. Maybe it was time he thought about settling down. Closing his eyes, he tried to relax, then he yanked his pillow over his head, trying to block out the sounds of his parents lovemaking in the room next to him. ******************************* Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief as Chris made his way out of the kitchen. She had thought that Gage and her brother were about to get into a fight and that was one thing she didn't want to see. Looking at Gage, she shook her head and smiled at him. He looked both confused and irritated at the same time. "What's the matter Johnny?" "I don't know...he...why'd he leave?" "You asked him to." "Yeah, I know I did, but he just...left. Like that!" He snapped his fingers and frowned again. "Chris never backs down. Somethin's wrong." He moved to leave the kitchen and Jennifer snagged him by the belt. "Wait a minute! Isn't that what you wanted?" "Huh?" "You wanted Chris to leave and he left." "Ooooooh yeah." A wicked grin made it's way to Gage's face as he twisted around and began walking Jennifer back up against the counter. Pinning her with his body, he placed an arm on either side of her, effectively trapping her. "Now I remember why." "Johnny, we can't..." Her words were cut off as he leaned down and picked up where they had left off when Chris had interrupted them. Jennifer mumbled against his lips. "Johnny, we...can't..." Making his way to her neck, he nuzzled a path along her skin, taking small nips at her jugular. "Why not?" Threading her fingers through his hair, she leaned her head back so that he would have better access. "Uh...because...um.." Her voice became a breathy whisper. "Oh yeaaaah...that feels good." Moving his hands around her waist, he continued his gentle assault on her flesh. Closing her eyes, Jennifer sighed as she felt her body relaxing in contrast to the rapid beating of her heart. She let out a small squeak as he picked her up and set her down on the counter, his hands holding her under the arm pits as his thumbs caressed the sides of her breasts through the thin t-shirt that she wore. He looked into her eyes and smiled as he moved his hands down to her waist and took the hem of the t-shirt in his fingers. As he slowly drew the material up, she held her breath, wondering whether she should stop him or not. She wanted him, but they were in the kitchen of her parents house. Her eyes trailed upward to look at the ceiling. Her mom and dad were upstairs doing God knows what and Chris had left to go to his room. As the cool air hit her skin, she closed her eyes, praying that no one would interrupt them again. She'd have to keep her ears open for the slightest noise. If they were caught... She drew in a  sharp breath as Gage kissed a breast through the material of her bra. Her heart began to race. What was she thinking? She had to be crazy to let him do this! Any thoughts she had of stopping him fled as he pulled the material back and took a nipple in his mouth, gently suckling it. Drawing her toward him, he rolled the small nub between his lips and tongue, smiling inwardly as Jennifer moaned and arched her back against him. When her hands wrapped around his head and didn't push him away, he knew he would have her. Her skin was warm and silky, the smell of her clean and musky. He continued his ministrations, using one hand to hold her steady while the other gently caressed the skin of her back. One part of his mind screamed for him to stop, the other half in it's drunken stupor cackled maniacally and ignored the logical part. She felt wonderful and he wanted more. He had waited so long to be able to touch her, make her his and finding that she was more than willing to give herself to him...he knew they'd finally join. He spent a few more minutes enjoying the sounds of her soft sighs and moans as he continued to gently suckle each breast in turn. When he trailed his lips down her smooth tight belly, he felt his groin tighten painfully. The part of his mind that had nagged at him to stop, now screamed in protest. He couldn't. Not here. There would be too much to lose if they were found here. He pulled away from her, breathless and shaky. "Jen...we...I can't..." She opened glazed eyes to look at him, nodding her head absently in agreement. "I know...they might...they might find us." Hugging her to him as he nuzzled his face against a breast, he sighed as she clung tightly to him. Every beat of his heart made him aware of just how much he wanted her. Pulling her off the counter, he let her body slowly slide down the front of him. He groaned softly as she pressed a hand against him. It was sheer torture what he was putting himself through. This was ridiculous. If he were sober he'd have his keys and he could take her home with him. He could possess her body, hoping that her soul was already his. With a frustrated sigh, he gently took her hand away from him. Jennifer looked up at him, remembering what she and her mom had talked about. "Johnny...I could...you...I could do something...for you...for us." He gave her a curious look, then it dawned on him what she was suggesting as her fingers found his belt buckle. Gently taking her hands in his, he shook his head no. "Not here. We'll have time later." His hands shook and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He couldn't believe that she had offered to pleasure him orally. He really couldn't believe that he had turned her down! It was something that he had dreamt about often and felt oh so guilty about. Her voice was small and unsure. "But I thought...I mean..." He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hands in his. "I don't want you to unless I can reciprocate." Her eyes widened at what he was implying. She hadn't even thought about him doing something like that to her. Her mouth went dry at the same time as she felt a sudden flash of heat in her groin. The idea of him doing 'that' to 'her'...her mom had never even mentioned that. Did her parents do those things? She shuddered at the thought. ******************************* His head pounded in a throbbing rhythm. Slowing opening his eyes, Roy closed them as bright sunlight assaulted his vision. With a soft groan, he rolled over, immediately regretting the movement as his stomach churned and the bed began to spin. Flinging the sheet back, he ran to the bathroom, dropped to his knees and vomited. Hugging the toilet, he rested a cheek against the smooth cool porcelain surface, thanking God that he was at home and not at a crusty bar. As he went to stand, his stomach protested the movement. Grasping the rim of the toilet, he heaved himself up and proceeded to regurgitate the remaining contents of his stomach. The sweat ran down his back and his entire body shook. Now he remembered why he didn't get drunk all that often. Pushing himself up, he made an unsteady path for the shower. Maybe the water would make him feel better. Turning on the water, he adjusted the spray before stepping in. Resting his forehead against the wall, he closed his eyes, letting the water soothe his body. He didn't move for some time, hoping the nausea would leave. His skin began to shrivel when he finally moved away from the wall. Taking the bar of soap, he made a half hearted effort at washing himself. His face screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember the previous night's events. He had been drinking with Gage when he had found out that...that Joanne saw Gage naked! He dropped the bar of soap. His wife had seen his best friend naked. And she had admitted to touching him! Or at least that's what he thought he remembered them saying that's what happened. He also remembered Joanne bringing him upstairs. She could be pretty persuasive when she wanted to be and boy had she done some persuading last night! He smiled as he thought of some of the things she had done and said. Then he frowned. He couldn't remember if they had taken any precautions. Rinsing off, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. Did they or didn't they? The last thing he needed at this point in his life was a baby. This was supposed to his and Joanne's time together. Chris and Jennifer were on the verge of leaving home. Chris had mentioned his possibly moving out by the end of the year. Jennifer wasn't going anywhere, but she was independent enough that they weren't tied down any longer. A baby would mean diapers. A baby would mean sleepless nights, various illnesses and bills. They had finally reached the point where not every spare dime had to be spent on school payments or medical expenses. It meant not having to work a ton of overtime if he wanted to do something nice for Joanne. A baby would end everything that he had dreamed of for so long. Dressing, Roy took his time, praying and basically begging God to not let him throw up if he promised not to drink again. He swore he heard God laughing at him. 'Sure Roy. I know how you keep your promises.' By the time he dressed, his head was back to it's insistent pounding. He kept thinking about last night. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts. He immediately regretted it. His stomach churned again and he swallowed several times. Yanking open the top drawer of the night stand, he dug around looking for the antacids that were kept there. He froze as he spied a packet of pills, the relief flooding through him. They were Joanne's pills. Breathing a sigh of relief, he continue searching through the drawer. There would be no baby. He'd forgotten that Joanne had gone on the pill a few months ago. Finding the antacids, Roy popped three of them in his mouth. Tossing the bottle back in the drawer, he closed it and made his way out of the room and down the hall. As he passed Jennifer's room, the panic and tension came back. Was she on the pill? What if she got pregnant? Did she and Gage do anything last night? Rushing down the stairs, he grimaced in pain. His head was killing him. He needed aspirin in the worst way. Walking into the kitchen he was greeted by a smiling Joanne. "Well, good morning stud muffin." He smiled back at her as he opened a cupboard to get the aspirin. Her voice was teasing. "What's the matter studly? You have an itty bitty hang over?" Looking back at Joanne, Roy gave her a cautious look, then he scanned the kitchen, noting the lack of anyone else. "Where's Johnny?" She snorted and went back to cleaning the counter top. "Your partner in crime went home an hour ago. I deemed him fit enough to drive." She snickered. "He was begging me to let him go." Turning to Roy she looked him over. "He looked worse than you do." Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed a can of tomato juice. Pouring a glass, she handed it to him. "Drink up. I know you were throwing up." "How'd you know?" She smiled and shook her head. "I heard you, honey. I swear I don't know who's more dramatic, you or Johnny." "He was sick too?" "As a dog." For some reason knowing that Gage wasn't feeling all that well either made him feel better. Taking a cautious sip of the juice, he tried to appear casual. "Where's Jennifer?" Joanne smiled again as she filled the sink up to do the dishes. "She's at the beach. Johnny told her he'd be no fun today so she might as well stay here. Not five minute after he left, Stacey called her and asked if she wanted to go to the beach." "Oh." "What do you want for breakfast? Creamed chipped beef or scrambled eggs and salsa?" Roy paled and shook his head no, then flinched as it throbbed. Joanne's laughter filled the room. "That's what you get for drinking. Don't you ever learn?" Giving her a sheepish look, he smiled back at her. "I guess not." She opened a cupboard and scanned the contents. "Seriously honey, what do you want to eat?" He stared at the way her pants clung to her ass as she reached for a container of baking soda on an upper shelf. If he wasn't feeling so sick, he would have said her. Instead he took another sip of the juice and prayed his head would quit aching. "Roy?" "Huh? Oh...nothing. I'm not really hungry." "Okay, suit yourself. You know you should at least eat a muffin. It'll soak up the stomach acid." "Yes mom." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'm not your mother. I think last night would have proved that." She gave him a wicked grin and turned away from him. Taking another sip of the juice, he made his way over to the bread drawer and grabbed a muffin. Without even toasting it, he took a small bite and chewed it as he watched Joanne move around the room. She was still as beautiful and trim as the day they were married. She was still his everything. No, she wasn't his mother and for that he was grateful. ******************************* Rolling over on his side, Gage stared at the empty space beside him and sighed. He had wanted so much to ask Jennifer to come home with him, but what good would that have done? He still felt queasy and it wouldn't have been fair for her to waste her day off. Slowly sitting up, he ran a hand over his face and through his hair. When would he learn that he shouldn't drink like that? A slight smile came to his lips as he thought of how Roy must be feeling. Roy drank less often than he did, so he had to be one hurting puppy. He showered and dressed in a ragged pair of jeans and beat up old work boots. Pulling a faded t-shirt over his head, he made his way down to the kitchen for a quick lunch. It was almost two in the afternoon and he had wasted too much of his day sleeping off the effects of the alcohol. Downing a cup of coffee, he practically inhaled the sandwich he made. Stepping outside he was greeted by his neighbors large German Shepherd. He had wanted a dog of his own, but with his schedule and the hours that he kept, he didn't feel it would have been fair to the animal. Happily he had been 'adopted' by two cats and King, the dog that bounced happily around him. Rubbing a hand over the silver tinted fur, he chuckled as King jumped up and placed his paws on his chest, almost looking him in the eye. "Are you sure you aren't a pony? Huh? Are you sure?!" He grabbed King by the ruff and playfully tugged at his neck. King latched onto his arm and bit down, but not enough to break the skin. The ritual of rough play that they had developed had become a standard greeting for them both. The only time Gage regretted this bond of friendship had been when he had brought a date home and had to listen to her scream when she thought that King was a wolf and was attacking him. Playfully cuffing the dog on the side of the head, he made his way out to the small barn toward the back of the yard. The lawn was in need of trimming and he might as well do something productive with his time. Between mowing the grass and trimming everything, his afternoon would be filled. ******************************* Jennifer unfolded the old quilt and flung it out so that it settled on the sand. Stacey looked down at the quilt and shook her head. "That thing is sooo ugly Jen. It's totally uncool ya' know." Jennifer looked at the quilt as she kicked her sandals off and set them down. Dropping her bag on a corner of the quilt, she shrugged her shoulders. "So, at least I have room to lay down without getting sand all over me." Reaching down, she peeled her shirt off, her shorts quickly followed revealing a skimpy black bikini. Stacey snickered and Jennifer blushed as she noticed a couple of boys a few feet away from them gawking at her. Flopping down on the quilt, she turned her back to them. Stacey quickly sat down next to her, elbowing her hard in the ribs. "Are you crazy! Didn't you see how they were looking at us?! We could have dates tonight if we play our cards right." Grabbing a bottle of suntan lotion, Jennifer began coating her golden skin, trying to sound casual as she spoke. "I don't need a date." Stacey looked at her blankly, then grinned. "Don't tell me. Chris fixed you up with that cute fireman where he works?" Jennifer smiled slightly. Stacey was half right, she was involved with a cute fireman. "You're close." Stacey grabbed a container of baby oil from her bag and began coating herself with it. Jennifer gave her a look of disapproval. "You know you shouldn't use that stuff. It'll fry your skin and you'll get skin cancer..." Stacey cut her off as she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you worry too much." Stacey smiled broadly. "So who is it?" "Who's what?" Jennifer grinned as she lay down on her stomach and pulled out a magazine from her bag. Stacey stretched out beside her and snagged the magazine from her hands. "Spill it DeSoto. Who's the lucky guy?" Jennifer could feel her cheeks heating up. Biting her lower lip, she looked sideways at her friend. "Well...you've met him before." Stacey huffed and rolled her eyes. "It could be anyone. You know a ton of guys that I know." Stacey tapped her fingers on the magazine cover. "Let me guess. Um...Tony?" Jennifer shook her head no. "How about...Ralph!" Jennifer made a face and stuck her tongue out. "What's the matter with Ralph? He's cute!" "Yeah, if you like blockheaded football players with necks bigger than their I.Q.s." Stacey snickered. "So what if he's dumb. He's cute and I hear that the pro scouts are looking at him." "Better them than me." "You know what your problem is? You're too picky. No one's good enough for perfect Jennifer DeSoto." Jennifer frowned at Stacey. "I never said I was perfect." "You might as well have the way you keep blowing off the guys that ask you out." Jennifer picked at a nail. "So. I was just waiting for the right guy to ask me that's all." Stacey grew excited again. "Okay, who is it?! I know...it has to be Andy. He's wanted to go out with you forever and I know you think he's hot." Jennifer shook her head no and smirked. "Andy's too immature." Stacey giggled. "I hate to break it to you, Jen, but we all are. What did you expect? Some older guy would come along and sweep you off your feet?" Stacey's giggles faded as Jennifer smiled smuggly back at her. "No way! Not uh! He didn't!" "Yes, he did." Jennifer kicked her feet back and forth and laughed as Stacey stared back at her open mouthed. "You're lying! If he...you're nuts! If he asked you out, your mom and dad would have locked you up in your room and never let you out again!" Laying on her side, Jennifer propped her head up on a hand. "Well, they did freak out a bit when we told them..." "He and you 'told' your mom and dad about you two?!" Stacey's voice squeaked as she spoke. "And your dad didn't kill him?! Jen, he's twice your age and he's your uncle! Are you nuts!?!" Jennifer raised an eyebrow at Stacey, then smiled. "If being in love is nuts, then that's what I am and he's not really my uncle and you know that." Stacey licked her lips as she peered around them. Lowering her voice, she gave Jennifer a serious look. "Have you...have you done 'it' with him yet?" "Stacey! I swear, you're worse than my mom!" "Wellll...have you?" Jennifer turned away from her and lay back on her stomach. Stacey's tone was teasing. "You haven't even touched him, you big chicken." Whipping around, Jennifer glared at her. "I have so!" She quickly looked away as Stacey began laughing loudly. "You are such a virgin it's not even funny." Casting a glare at her friend, Jennifer huffed out her reply. "At least I haven't slept with half the football team." Stacey sat up and glared back at her. "At least I'm not some tease who gets guys all worked up and then says no!" They glared at one another for a few seconds, then Stacey stood up and moved over to her blanket. Flopping down, she turned her head away from Jennifer. Jennifer's voice was low. "I'm not a tease." Stacey turned around, jumped up and flopped back next to her. "Yes you are. Look at you. You have the skimpiest bikini on the beach. You always wear the shortest skirts and you're always smiling and flirting with all the guys. That's a tease." Sitting up, Jennifer narrowed her eyes. "The clothes a person wears doesn't mean a thing and if being nice is wrong then sue me. And look who's talking! Your bathing suit is smaller than mine!" Stacey looked at her bikini top and frowned. "Yeah, but you have more to fill it with so yours looks smaller." Jennifer looked down at her chest and crossed her arms. A blush quickly appeared as she thought of what Gage had done to her last night. "I see that your...ahem...lover likes the fact that you're big breasted." Glancing sideways, Stacey smiled. "The guys next to us like it too." Jennifer looked past Stacey, feeling her cheeks growing hotter as she locked eyes with one of the boys staring at her. His blue eyes looked into hers and he flashed her a smile of perfect white teeth from a perfectly tanned face. His short blond hair was cut in the latest style. Breaking their eye contact, she stood and began walking down to the waters edge. The last thing she needed was some over sexed beefcake making the moves on her. She hated being ogled and treated like she was nothing more than a body. Wading out into the water, she let the surf lap at her knees. She smiled as she thought of the short time she and Gage spent on the beach the night they went out for dinner. He was who she wanted. There had always been something about the way he looked that tugged at her heartstrings. The coal black hair that was a bit too long. His hazel brown eyes that always held a mischievous sparkle in them, hinting at what lay beneath the surface of what people saw. He was always accused of being too thin, but she liked his lean athletic appearance. It was as if he were in constant motion even when he was sitting still, which wasn't all that often. Snickering to herself, Jennifer knew it was true love. She knew that everyone felt that she was in over her head. He was too old, too thin, too poor, too far out of her league. All she knew is that they were all wrong. He was what she had wanted. He was perfect. She giggled. Well, he was far from perfect, but she knew that he was the one who she'd spend the rest of her life with and be happy. Wading back out of the water, she made her way back to the quilt and flopped down. Stacey rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you blew that guy off. He's gorgeous!" Smiling Jennifer picked up the magazine that she brought out earlier. "Yeah, he may be perfect, but he's 'not' Johnny." Swinging her feet back and forth, she decided that she and Gage needed to spend some time alone with one another soon. She wasn't a tease and she meant to prove it with the right man. ******************************* Moving about the bedroom, Jennifer bounced to a tune playing on the radio. Grabbing a t-shirt, she rolled it up and stuffed it in the backpack that lay on her bed. Looking out the window, she smiled. It was a beautiful sunny day and she was going to Gage's house, then from there they were going on a hike. They hadn't seen much of each other in the past week with the way his work schedule had gone. All they had were a few minutes of chatting together while he waited for her dad to come downstairs and a quick kiss shared before anyone entered the room. Then there were the phone calls that always managed to be interrupted by him being taken away by a call. Now she understood her mom's frustration at having to hear the tones go off in the background and then getting a quick 'I love you' muttered before the dial tone hummed in her ear. Today was their day. No parents, no friends, no tone outs, just the two of them hiking through the hills and fields of California. Strapping her pack shut, she jogged downstairs and dropped it by the front door. Making her way into the kitchen, she saw the usual scene that had been played out over the years. Her mom was busy making breakfast, her dad sat quietly at the table reading the morning paper. As she moved around the kitchen, she could feel their eyes following her. She knew they were curious as to what she was doing and the questions that they wanted to ask were coming, so she might as well get it over with. Trying to sound nonchalant, she grabbed a slice of cinnamon raisin bread and shoved it in the toaster. "If Stacey or Trish calls, tell 'em I'll be back later tonight. Johnny and I are going for a hike along the ridge behind his house." There. She told them what she was doing, with who and where. Joanne pictured Jennifer and Gage hiking, enjoying themselves in the outdoors. Then she remembered when she and Roy were younger and what they had managed to do when they went out on solitary hikes. She couldn't keep the nervousness from her voice. "Oh? Well...it looks like a nice day...for a hike." Roy peered over the top of the paper, first at Joanne, then at Jennifer. He tried to think of a reason why his wife sounded a bit unnerved. Then he remembered their hikes when they were teenagers trying to find some private time together. He dropped the paper on the table. "Isn't it a little deserted out there? Wouldn't it be better if you went hiking at the park?" The toaster popped the slice of bread up. Grabbing it, Jennifer slathered it with butter. "Dad, we're only going hiking on the ridge. Johnny's taken me and Chris there a million times." Joanne looked at Roy and he picked the paper back up, trying to think of a way to keep his daughter in a more populated area. "It's just...well you know how Johnny's a disaster magnet. I'd feel better if you weren't in the middle of nowhere all by yourself." "He is not a disaster magnet! Just because he has an occasional accident, it doesn't mean it's his fault." Roy dropped the paper back down. "I didn't say it was his fault, he just seems to attract trouble." Shooting a small glare at him, Jennifer bit into the slice of bread. Taking a large gulp of milk, she smiled. A light bulb went off. Her parents weren't worried about anything happening to them, they were thinking of what they might do. "I guess it'll be up to me to make sure Johnny's well taken care of." She could see both of her parents cringe slightly, but her mom's cringe was joined by a soft snicker. Jennifer felt like jumping up and down doing a victory dance. Her mom was finally getting use to her and Gage being together, even if it gave her the hebbies. If she could win her mom over, then her dad would follow without argument. Stuffing the remainder of the bread in her mouth, she guzzled the milk, spilling some of it down her chin. Wiping it off with the back of her hand, she froze as Roy stared at her, then shook his head. "You're starting to eat like him now. That's just great." She would have yelled something smart if she hadn't seen his smile before he pulled the paper up to block his face. Maybe she had been worrying too much. Maybe both of her parents had finally accepted the way things were going to be from now on. Rushing out of the kitchen and up the stairs, she brushed her teeth, then ran back down to the kitchen to give Roy and Joanne quick kisses and hugs. "I'll see you later tonight. Love you both." Leaving the kitchen, she grabbed her pack and ran out to her car. She was eager to get to Gage's so they could begin their day together. ******************************* Joanne spooned eggs onto a plate and set them before Roy. Sitting next to him at the table, she picked at her food. "Honey, why do they have to grow up so fast?" Looking up from his plate, Roy gave her a sad smile. "I don't know. It seems like only yesterday when she was riding her tricycle and now she's driving a car." With a resigned sigh, Joanne straightened up. "Oh well...there's always the grandchildren to look forward to." She burst into laughter as Roy's fork clattered to the floor, his expression one of shock and surprise. Taking one of his hands in hers, Joanne squeezed it. "I wouldn't worry honey, I think they'll use good judgment." Releasing his hand she sat back. "I mean, look at all the women Johnny's been with. I'm sure he knows the correct precautions to take or we'd be seeing a few little Johnny's running around." Roy shook his head and made a sour face. "Just because he doesn't have any kids that we 'know' about, it doesn't mean he's all that careful. This is Johnny we're talking about. He's just been lucky so far." "Oh don't be silly. I'm sure he knows what he's doing." She quickly corrected herself when Roy raised an eyebrow at her. "That's not what I meant and you know it. I'm sure he knows to use the proper..." She waved a hand in the air. Roy leaned toward her. "Jo, do you remember how careful we were when we went on our hikes?" He stared at her. When her eyes widened in remembrance, he frowned and nodded his head. "Exactly. Once they're out there, they aren't going to be thinking of taking precautions." Joanne sat at the table, her breakfast completely forgotten. It was one of their hikes that had ended up producing Chris. ******************************* It was a nice day for a hike or so that's what the weatherman had said. As he hefted his backpack over his shoulders, Gage looked out past the ridge behind his house. In the far distance he could see the clouds building. Their fluffy whiteness would soon turn to gray as they converged over the mountains. Maybe the station's radar called for clear skies all day, but he knew better. "Jen, if we hurry up we can get a short hike in before the storm." Jennifer looked over at him and smirked. "Johnny, it's not supposed to rain." He grinned back and pointed at the clouds rolling in from the west. "By this afternoon we'll have a nice sized storm." "That's not what the weatherman said." "Well, the weatherman probably can't see those clouds." "Okay, fine. You say it's going to rain? How about you and me making a little bet?" He eyed her clingy t-shirt knowing exactly what he wanted to wager. She caught his stare and quickly dropped her eyes to look at her boots as she laced them tighter. It was no secret what he wanted to wager. Well, she was ready. Or at least she thought she was, but to be honest with herself, she was a bit terrified at the prospect of having sex. It wasn't that she didn't want him, God that's all she thought about! What scared her was the actual act. She'd heard all sorts of 'first time' stories from her friends and all of them involved pain. The other major worry for her was she knew she would be awkward. He had been with so many women who probably would do anything and everything sexually and could do it well. The closest kind of sexual contact that she had was the night of her senior prom when she had let her date fondle her breast. When he had stuck his hand between her legs and touched her, she had freaked out on him and that had been the last date she ever had with him. He had yelled at her, called her a tease among other things. Maybe people thought she was a tease, but at twenty-one she was still a virgin and damn proud of it. Looking back up at Gage, she smiled. "Okay...if it rains...I'll give you a massage." He crossed his arms and gave her a wicked grin. "And if it doesn't rain?" She paused for a second, her smile growing brighter. "Then you can give 'me' a massage." Gage suddenly began wishing the storm would pass them by. A massage would mean he could touch her everywhere and not feel the least bit guilty doing it. It would also be a chance to find out what turned her on. "Deal." He held his hand out to her. When she clasped it, he pulled her to her feet and into a hug. He held her for a moment, loving the feel of her in his arms. Giving her a quick kiss, he reluctantly let her go. He would have preferred staying home and making love to her all afternoon. With a sigh, he picked her pack up and handed it to her. Jennifer hefted the backpack over her shoulders and strapped it in place. As she followed Gage off the porch, she began praying for a downpour. ******************************* Cutting a path through the field, Gage paused to look at the ominous clouds gathering in the sky. It looked as though he would be the one losing the bet or at least that was the way he saw it. Technically he would still win because of the rain because Jennifer would be giving him a massage, but his hands ached to touch her. He pictured running a palm softly down her shoulders to rest at the small of her back, then over her firm ass and thighs. The vision of her long golden hair pulled back to the side, laying in a pool of silk made his heart race. Mentally shaking himself, he got back to the task at hand. "Jen, we better pick up the pace if we want to stay dry." He looked at the blackness heading their way. "We definitely better get going. It looks like lightning." Jennifer looked up at the clouds. "Oh come on Johnny, how can you tell..." She stopped talking as the sky lit up in the distance as a jagged bolt of lightning cut across the horizon. With a cocky grin on his face, Gage looked pointedly at her. She frowned back at him. "Okay, so you're pretty good at predicting the weather." "Oh, so my little princess is getting cranky. I think when we get back to the house, you should take a nap." He resisted the urge to smile as Jennifer glared up at him. She gritted her teeth as she spoke. "I don't need a 'nap' and I'm not your 'little' princess." His mouth dropped open as Jennifer shouldered past him. He stared at her rapidly retreating figure as she rushed down the trail. It looked as though he had pushed things a bit too far. Apparently she was more sensitive about their age difference than he was. With a small smile on his face, he jogged to catch up with her. He walked slightly behind her, watching her ponytail swish back and forth with each angry step she took. His attention was draw away by a large flash of lightning, the sound of sharp thunder assaulted his ears. Without meaning to, he walked right into Jennifer who had stopped to gawk at the darkened sky. They tumbled to the ground with Gage landing on top of her. Propping himself on his arms, he pushed away from her to crouch on the ground beside her. Leaning over her, he checked to see if he had hurt her. "Jen are you okay?" To his surprise, she rolled over and shoved him in the chest, knocking him backward. Landing heavily on his back, he lay stunned as a sharp pain held him motionless. As Jennifer pushed to her knees, she yelled at him. "What do you think you were..." Her voice trailed off as she watched him slowly roll over on his side, pain etched on his features. "Oh geez...I'm sorry...I forgot. Are you okay?" Pausing to catch his breath, he cautiously sat up, trying to see if he had aggravated his injury from the warehouse explosion. The last thing he wanted to do was make another trip to Rampart. He sat in silence before leaning forward and stretching. Relief flooded him as he felt no more pain. As he moved to stand, Jennifer scrambled to her feet and grabbed him by the arm to help him up. Her voice was small, the guilt on her face obvious. "I'm sorry Johnny, I didn't mean to do that. It's just...you make me so mad sometimes." Adjusting his pack, he looked down at her, seeing the eyes that had won him over when she had been a child. Any irritation that he may have felt totally vanished. It was his fault that he teased her. Maybe if he treated her more like a woman instead of someone who had to be coddled and protected, she would see how he really felt. That even if he called her his little princess, she was much more than that to him. Taking her by the hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm fine." Looking at the sky, he frowned. "We better get going, it looks like it's going to be pretty bad." Jennifer looked at the sky as another jagged bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. "I think you're right." They began quickly walking down the trail, knowing that they were going to be caught in the middle of the storm if they didn't hurry. Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief as they came over the familiar ridge and could see Gage's small ranch house in the distance. "Aw man!" Her smile faded as she turned to look at what he was staring at. "Crud." They began running, even though they knew there was no way that they could escape it. The rain came rushing at them like a black curtain being pulled across the sky. When the rain pelted down on them, Jennifer was surprised at how cold it was. She was shocked by the sharp sting of it as it hit her skin. As the rain enveloped them, she could barely see three feet in front of them. The only thing she was sure of was the well worn path below her feet and Gage's hand on hers as he pulled her forward. It seemed to take forever before they stumbled onto the porch. They stood for a moment, trying to catch their breath. Gage looked at Jennifer and smiled. Her shirt clung to her like a second skin, her hair was matted and plastered to her shoulders. He watched as her chest heaved with each gasping breath she took. Moving behind her, he helped her removed the pack from her back before taking his off and dropping it to the floor. When she reached down to take her pack inside, he took her by the hand and drew her inside the house. Leaving the screen door open so that the cool air from the storm could come in, he motioned for her to stay before disappearing into the kitchen. He reappeared, holding two large towels. Jennifer jumped as a large flash of lighting and a crack of thunder struck close by. The light in the room flickered, then went out, the only illumination left was the light coming in from outside, which wasn't much at all. Setting the towels down, Jennifer took Gage's cue as he began unlacing his boots. As soon as they got them off, he handed her the towels. She watched as he walked over to the fireplace, then smiled as the room lit up from the soft light of a hurricane lamp. Walking back to her, he took one of the towels from her. As he dried his arms off, he watched as she lightly patted the water from her skin. Dropping his towel to the floor, he briefly hesitated before unbuttoning his soaked shirt. Hanging it from one of the coat hooks by the door, he could feel her eyes on him. He knew it was time. Something deep inside of him nudged him forward. Walking behind her, he reached around to take the towel from her hands. Gathering her hair, he began to gently dry it, slowly trailing the terry material over her neck. Taking a deep breath, he reached down and slowly edged his fingers under the hem of her t-shirt and began to draw it upward. He felt her tense slightly, but she didn't stop him or protest. Pulling the shirt up and over her head, he let it drop to the floor. Toweling her back and shoulders, his hands shook in anticipation. As he unhooked her bra and slipped his fingers underneath a strap, he heard a soft inhale come from her. Again, she didn't stop him. Letting the small scrap of material drop to join the discarded shirt, he resisted the urge to turn her toward him so that he could look at her. He would take things slow, letting her get use to what they were doing. There wasn't any reason to rush things. No one was around, they were utterly alone. He intended to savor each moment between them. Letting the towel fall from his grasp, he rested his hands on her bare shoulders. He gently kneaded her flesh as he placed butterfly kisses on her neck. Moving closer, he slid his hands forward, cupping her breasts as he pulled her against him so that they molded together. She leaned into him, sighing as he caressed her skin. As she slowly turned in his hold, he bent down to capture her mouth in a kiss, the need growing within him as he felt her return his kiss with the same want and need that he felt. They continued to kiss as they slowly backed into the living room, the golden light of the lamp casting their shadows against the wall. As he lowered her to the floor before the fireplace, he felt her stiffen in his hold, but she soon relaxed again as he placed kisses on her throat and nibbled teasingly at her neck. Kissing a path downward, he listened to her small panting breaths, smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair. Moving further downward, he placed kisses on her stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel, smiling as she squirmed under his touch. She tensed as he unbuttoned her denim shorts. Taking his time, he tugged them down, bit by bit, giving her ample time to stop him. When she didn't protest and began relaxing, he kissed her thighs. What he wanted, he knew she would enjoy, but he wasn't sure if she had even experienced it. As he trailed a finger along the edge of her panties, she shivered at his touch. He froze. Something wasn't right, he could feel it. He hesitated before slowly moving upward, pulling her to him, cradling her body against his chest. He felt the rapid beating of her heart, heard her panting breaths. He could tell the difference. She wasn't ready no matter how many times she had said she was. The fear emanated from Jennifer making him feel as though he had done something horrible. Kissing the top of her hair, he held her tighter, hoping that he offered her some form of comfort. "I'm sorry Jen." Jennifer moved slightly away from Gage to stare into his eyes. He saw sadness and guilt mingled with her fear. Reaching a hand out, she ran her fingertips lightly over his face. "It's not...there's nothing wrong, it's...Johnny will you promise me, you won't be upset?" He gave her a confused look as he took one of her hands in his. "Jen honey, why would I be upset? You're not ready. I can wait." Shaking her head no, Jennifer, tried to not laugh or cry as she spoke. She felt like such a fool. "I 'am' ready, it's just that...well...I've been waiting for 'you'." She gave him a look, hoping he would get what she was saying. He only stared blankly back at her. Letting her breath out in a nervous exhale, she gave him an unsure smile. "I've never done this before." There. She got a reaction from him. His eyes widened in surprise. "You mean...you've never? Ever?!" Her voice was practically a whisper. "No." Letting Jennifer go, Gage rolled onto his back and away from her, the shock on his face letting her know that he had been completely clueless. Bringing his hands up to his face, he rubbed at his eyes. "Man, I am such a pig." He quickly sat up and looked at her, his voice sounding peeved. "You were going to let me...you weren't even going to tell me?!" Jennifer gave him another guilty look. "I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted you to be the first, the..." She wanted to say she wanted him to be the only one, but that would have made her look like a whiny teenager living the Cinderella syndrome. Looking down at herself, she felt like a complete and utter fool. Crossing her arms, she covered her breasts. She had managed to ruin everything. The tears began to track their way down her cheeks before she could stop them. "Aw Jenny, don't cry." She found herself enveloped in a hug. Nestling her damp face against his chest, she knew what she wanted, but she was still afraid. Now that he knew, she figured he'd push her away, let her 'save' herself for the 'right' man. Pushing her fears aside, she knew that it had to be now. She had to make him understand how she really felt. This wasn't some crush. It wasn't puppy love. She wanted him heart, body and soul. She knew she had his heart and soul, the physical aspect would be the final step in their bonding. Running a hand down his chest and between them, she pressed her palm against him, letting her fingers feel him through the material of his wet jeans. He gasped, then grabbed her hand, bringing it slowly away. "Jennifer, you don't have to do this." Pulling her hand from his grasp, she kissed him. "I know I don't have to. I want to. Can't you understand? I'm afraid because...I know it's going to...well..." She looked him in the eyes. "I love you and I want to be with you. It's not 'you' that I'm afraid of." Running a hand through his hair, Gage let out the breath he'd been holding. "Jen...this isn't something...you have to be sure. Once it's gone, it's gone." "I know that. Why do you think I've waited so long?" Moving away from Jennifer, Gage stood and took a throw blanket off the back of the sofa. Reaching a hand out to her, he helped her stand, then draped the blanket around her shoulders. Leading her through the room, they headed up the stairs. He drew her into the darkened bedroom, the occasional flash of lightning their only source of light. Brushing a kiss on her cheek, he went to the dresser and lit a candle. Walking back to her, he took her hands in his before running his palms up her arms and over her shoulders to push the blanket off. As the blanket dropped softly to the floor, Jennifer felt exposed as his eyes trailed over her body. He gave her a gentle smile as he led her to the bed. ******************************* He played with the her hair, curling some of it around his fingers. Even in the low light cast by the candle on the dresser, he could see it's golden sheen. After all his searching, he finally had what he wanted. A feeling of contentment seeped through his body as Jennifer ran her fingers lightly over his chest. Never in all the times he had been with a woman had he felt like this. The emptiness was finally gone. Wrapping his arms around her, he cuddled a bit closer. Closing his eyes, he decided a nap was in order, but Jennifer had other ideas. Or at least her body did as her stomach rumbled noisily. "You hungry?" Jennifer felt embarrassed, something she seemed to be doing on a regular basis lately. Of all the times for her stomach to start complaining for food. "Um...kind of." Untangling himself from Jennifer, Gage sat up. Giving her a kiss, he stood and made his way to a dresser. Grabbing a pair of jeans, he pulled them on. Looking back at the bed, he smiled as he caught her looking at him. She quickly tucked her head down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." Walking back to the bed, he sat down beside her, running a hand through her hair. "Jen hon, you can look as much as you like, there's nothing wrong with it." Sitting up, she pulled the sheet up to cover herself. For some reason she felt weird sitting and talking to him naked. Considering what they had just done she shouldn't have cared, but years of hiding herself couldn't be washed away from one encounter. "I know there's nothing wrong with it, I...it just doesn't seem right." She gave him a sheepish look, then noticed his small look of worry. "You're not regretting what we did are you?" "No! No Johnny, that's not it, it's...I don't know. I guess mom and dad beat it in my head for so long that seeing a guy naked wasn't exactly the best thing for me to be looking at." Gage snickered as he stood again. "Yeah and I bet looking at me naked would be a big taboo." Going to another dresser, he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Handing them to Jennifer, he smiled. "They may be a bit big, but until the power comes back on and I can dry your clothes, they'll hafta' do for now." Taking the clothes, she quickly pulled the t-shirt over her head. As she moved to get off the bed, she flinched. Her friends had been right. It 'had' been painful and now she was sore as hell. She made quick work of pulling the sweatpants on, thankful that they were loose. The last thing she wanted was anything rubbing against her. As she turned to straighten the covers on the bed, she felt her face heat up. In the candle light the smears of blood on the white sheets were plainly visible. She jumped as Gage walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She stammered as she spoke, feeling embarrassed, stupid, idiotic...so many emotions ran through her. "I didn't mean to...I mean...your bed...the sheets..." "It's okay Jen." "No it's not okay, they're ruined." A tiny voice inside her brain echoed her thoughts. She was ruined. Just like the sheets, she was stained. Everyone would know. As Jennifer slowly turned in his hold to hug him tightly, Gage felt the guilt return, only this time it was tenfold. He hadn't expected something like this. He knew that maybe Jennifer would have been a little regretful, but her being on the verge of tears surprised him. As he held her, he rub her back. "I'm sorry Jen." She tucked tighter against him, her voice shaky. "It's not...I just feel...I feel like I let mom and dad down." "Jennifer, you didn't let anyone down. They're always going to be proud of you no matter what you do." "God, I feel so stupid." Moving away from Gage, she wiped a hand across her  face. Looking back at the sheets, she grabbed the comforter and pulled it up, hiding both the blood and her feelings of self doubt. Taking one of his hands in hers, she pulled him from the room. He followed her down the stairs, letting her lead him through the house. Coming to the kitchen, she let go of his hand and walked to the door where she stood staring out at the rain as it continued to fall from the sky. "It doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon." Walking to stand behind her, Gage resisted the urge to hug her again. "Yeah, it's going to rain for a while." Moving away from her, he began opening some cup boards. "I can make some sandwiches, but that's about it. Until the electricity comes back on, dinners going to be a bit limited." Just as he said it, the light in the room popped back on. "Well, I guess that settles that. What do you want to eat?" Turning around, Jennifer walked over to the table and sat down. Rubbing at an imaginary spot on the table, she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You decide." Opening a few more cupboards, Gage glanced at Jennifer, then smiled as he found what he was looking for. "How about pancakes and eggs?" Jennifer looked up at him, a slight smile coming to her face. Pancakes for dinner at Gage's house had always been considered a treat by her and Chris when they were growing up. Her mom and dad would never make them, saying they were breakfast food only. "Sure. That sounds great." Without even thinking about what she was doing, she stood and made her way to the refrigerator. Taking the eggs, she brought them over to the stove and held them out to Gage. She could feel the tension slowly melting away as the comforting feelings of doing something so familiar settled over her. As they made dinner, they talked about little things. Their work, what they might do the following week. She found herself noticing small things about Gage that she never really paid much attention to before. The way the muscles in his back moved under his skin. The small lines that were beginning to form around the corner of his eyes. She also noticed the things that she had seen all of her life. The teasing smile that he always seemed to wear when he was around her, the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about his job. She had been right. It had been time for them to move forward in their relationship. All the old feelings were now joined by new ones, making the bond between them stronger than before. As they sat down at the table to eat their meal, she knew that what had been started this day between them wouldn't end until the day that one of them died. With a small shiver, she brushed away the morbid thought and smiled at Gage across the table. ******************************* Sitting in the Rover out front of her parents home, Jennifer rested a hand on Gage's thigh as she leaned over to kiss him goodnight. As the kiss deepened, she inched her hand upward to caress him. As his hands worked their way through her hair, pulling her head back, he nibbled a path down her neck before pulling away. Taking her hand from him, he let out a ragged breath and shook his head no. "We gotta stop. I'm not going to have Roy or Joanne catch us out here." He peered around them into the darkness. "And there's no way I'm going to give your neighbors anything to talk about." Jennifer couldn't help laughing. She knew he was right, but even though she didn't have any intentions of letting things go as far as they did in the afternoon, she didn't want him to leave. "Why don't you come in for a while. I'm sure Mom and Dad are still up." This time Gage was the one to laugh. "Oh no, you're not getting me to go in there now." He held his watch up to her and tapped it. "It's past your bedtime young lady." Her scowl made him laugh some more. "Come on Jen, you know I'm only teasing you." Sticking her tongue out at him, she moved to get out of the Rover only to be pulled back in to receive another kiss. By the time he let her go, she was breathless. He gave her a winning smile. "Rule number one. Never go to bed angry." She smiled back at him. "I thought that only applied to married couples?" He cocked his head to the side and gave her a wicked grin. "So was what we did this afternoon, but I didn't hear you complaining then." He froze as he notice a shadowy figure pulling at the curtain of the large bay window of the DeSoto home. "I guess I better be going Jen. Your Dad's checkin' up on us." Jennifer frowned, then smiled. "The let's give him something to think about." She grabbed him and practically climbed into his lap, giving him a soul searing kiss that left them both feeling a little more worked up than either of them cared to admit. Gage reluctantly pushed Jennifer away. He wanted to take her back home and make love to her all night, but with Roy waiting at the door, he knew if he valued his life, he'd better get moving. "Jen hon, you can't be doing stuff like that. Your dad'll have a coronary." "No he won't and if he did, you'd save him. Besides, it'll teach him to not spy on us. You know he's grossed out by now." She moved away, then opened the door only to have Gage stop her from leaving again. "I'll call you tomorrow." Leaning across the seat, he kissed her again, only this one was less demanding. "'Night princess." She rolled her eyes and shut the door. Smiling up at him, she bowed slightly. "Goodnight my sweet prince." Turning, she reluctantly made her way up the walk. Opening the front door, she waved to Gage to let him know she was in. She could barely make out him waving back to her, then he pulled away. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for battle as she stepped into the house. ******************************* Walking quietly into the house, Jennifer tried to act as normal as possible. Roy and Joanne both glanced up as she came through the door. She felt like she had a big sign hanging from her neck proclaiming that she had sex. "Hi Mom, hi Dad." As she headed for the stairs, Joanne stopped her. "Did you and Johnny have a nice hike?" With a feeling of dread and defeat, Jennifer dropped her pack down on the floor and made her way over to the sofa. Gently lowering herself down, she resisted the urge to cringe. She still felt a bit sore. "Yeah, it was nice, but we had to cut it short. There was a big storm." Roy frowned. "It didn't rain here." "Well, it pour out on the ridge. We got soaked." She watched as they looked her over. Her clothes were dry, her hair wasn't stringy or frizzy. "Uh...I got a shower while Johnny washed my clothes." She didn't lie about that part, all she neglected to say was it happened after they had sex and dinner. There was an uncomfortable pause and Jennifer knew exactly what her parents were thinking and they were right in doing so, but there was no way she would ever admit to either one of them what she and Gage had done. "Well, I'm kind of beat so I think I'll head up to bed." Pushing up and off the sofa, she gave walked over to each one in turn and gave them a goodnight kiss. Even though she was an adult and had made a conscious decision as to who and when she had lost her virginity to, the idea that somehow her parents knew made her feel as though she had hurt them in some way. She knew why her parents had married early so that was one of the reasons why they worried so much about her, but she was confident that it wouldn't happen to her. Gage was even more cautious and levelheaded about taking precautions than she had expected. She trusted him completely before they had been involved and that trust had carried over to the bedroom. She had trusted him to be careful, to not hurt he and he had done everything that she had hoped for and more. Walking over, she picked up her pack and made her way up the stairs and to her room. Dropping the pack on the bed, she felt a little guilty as she unbuckled it and withdrew a t-shirt. Unraveling it, she held it up to her face and breathed in deeply. It smelled like him. If Gage would have caught her taking one of his shirts, she was sure he would have laughed at her, but she wanted to be able to feel as though he was with her when she went to sleep. Taking her clothes off, she pulled the shirt over her head, grinning at how ridiculously big it seemed on her. Peeking out of her room and down the hall, she scampered to the bathroom to take care of business. After brushing her teeth, she went to go to the bathroom and rolled her eyes at the blood that lightly stained her underwear. With an irritated sigh, she pulled them off and wadded them up. Looking at the wastebasket, she debated on throwing them away, but she couldn't do it. They were brand new and made of pure silk. A smile came to her face as she remembered how Gage had run his hands over the silk material as he had kissed her neck. She quickly decided to try and salvage them. The stain wasn't all that noticeable and would probably come out in the wash. Tossing them in the hamper, she made her way back to her room. Grabbing an old pair of cotton panties, she pulled them on and climbed into bed. Laying back, she hesitated. She wanted to write in her diary, but she was too tired. All she wanted to do was sleep. With a resigned sigh, she reached out and turned the light off and lay back. She fidgeted, then began tossing and turning as she remembered how it had felt to cuddle up against Gage. To feel his heart beating beneath her hand. She loved the way he had held her against him. The way he had nuzzled his face in her hair. She knew this wouldn't be enough for either one of them. She wouldn't be happy until she spent all of her nights with him and she knew by the way he had acted, he felt the very same way. ******************************* Walking through the living room, Gage turned off the lights and made his way up the stairs. He laughed softly to himself as his two adopted cats dashed past him and up to the bedroom. They knew it was time to sleep so they headed for the room to fight over the best spot on near the window. Stripping down to his boxers, he flopped down on the bed and pulled the covers up. Staring at the ceiling, he knew tonight would be another restless evening of sporadic naps. He hadn't told anyone of his constant dreams of seeing Donny and Steve die over and over again.. If Jennifer were with him, he could have at least been able to run his fingers through her hair and hold her close to him all night. He pictured her laying next to him, keeping the image of her in his minds eye. Closing his eyes, he thought of how soft and golden her hair was. How smooth and supple her body has been beneath his. How hot and tight she had been. His eyes flew open and he took a few breaths to calm himself. He knew he had been right. Jennifer was completely his...now and always. Then he remembered one major roadblock to it all. Roy. He'd have to face him tomorrow at work. Would his friend and partner somehow know that he had 'defiled' his 'little girl'? He knew Roy would have a heart attack if he even got an inkling as to his plans of wanting to marry Jennifer. Throwing an arm over his eyes, Gage began formulating a plan. It would take some time, but he was use to waiting for the things that he wanted. If he did things the right way, he and Jennifer would be together in less than a year. End return to main menu