Gage smiled on his end of the phone. He knew he had distracted her some how. Just as he was about to tease her about it, Jennifer's voice dropped to a whisper. "I have to go Johnny, dad just came in. 'Bye." "Goodbye Princess." He could hear her huff of disapproval as he hung the phone up. Chuckling, he took a large bite of the sandwich. His lost appetite had returned. As he turned away from the phone, he stopped in mid-chew. Roberts glared at him, his voice dripping with hate. "You know Gage, I always knew you were a piece of shit, but this tops the cake." Gage returned Roberts glare with one of his own. If he wanted to get through this, he'd have to take a stand now and then and when it came to Roberts, the sooner he did it the better. The man was a royal pain in the ass and could make his life difficult if he wanted to. He mumbled around a mouthful of food. "It's none of your damn business." "Yeah, right. Everyone knows what a pig you are with the ladies. As soon as they get wind of what you're doing with DeSoto's daughter, you're history." Swallowing the bit of sandwich, Gage walked up to Roberts, never letting his eyes leave the other man's. "You don't know anything. You never have." Roberts snickered, the smile on his face completely mirthless. "I know enough. You've been messing around with your partner's little girl. You'll be out of the department so fast you won't know what hit you and I for one can't wait. You don't belong here, you never have. The moron that let you in made a big mistake and it's finally going to be fixed." With a smug smile on his face, Roberts turned his back on Gage and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him to fume and worry by himself. Taking the sandwich to the trash can, Gage dropped it in. He'd lost his appetite again. ******************************* After another restless night, Gage had felt like crawling back into bed and calling in sick. The overtime shift at 19 had been one long day of pure hell and now he was certain that he was driving straight into another. Pulling into the parking lot of Station 51, he sat in the Rover staring at the door. The moment he walked through that door and into the locker room, he knew he'd have to face Roy again.  He felt like he did the first day on the job all those years ago. Apprehensive of what was to come. How would they perceive him? Would he be rejected? The terror of not knowing what to expect caused his heart to race and his palms to sweat. Running a hand over the steering wheel, he jerked the keys from the ignition. He might as well get it over and done with. The problems weren't going to just disappear because he wanted them to. As he approached his locker, he hesitated. Roy stood before his locker getting dressed. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, pulled open the locker and began getting changed. Here was the hard part. Would Roy answer him or turn around and spit on him? He said the words, hoping that his voice didn't reveal his nervous emotions. "Mornin' Roy." Roy answered him in a calm voice. "Morning John." Gage took a quick peek at Roy. He had called him John, but it was better than no response at all. Maybe things weren't going to be as bad as he thought. Maybe Jennifer's talk had settled some of the issues concerning their relationship. Quickly buttoning his shirt, he adjusted his name tag, all the while wishing that Roy would talk to him, say anything about the weather, his day off...anything! It wasn't like he could tell him about his horrible shift. What could he say? Hey Roy, everyone at Rampart and 19 thinks I'm a pervert. Bucking his belt, he walked out to the bay and stood at the end of the line, silently waiting for roll call. He could feel the eyes of the other men on him. Never in his wildest dreams did Gage think that Chet, the man who had tormented him and played one practical joke after another on him, would be his and Jennifer's biggest supporter. As Roy stepped into line, he stood right beside Gage. Everyone except for Gage leaned forward slightly to look at them. They had expected Roy to avoid Gage at all costs. Instead he stood calmly next to him as if nothing had happened. ******************************* Cap walked into the bay, amazed at what he saw. He had been dreading roll call since the moment he had woke up. To find his two paramedics standing side by side like they did every other day was a relief. As he gave everyone their duties, he kept looking at Gage and DeSoto. They never ceased to amaze him. Dismissing the group, Cap almost didn't do what he had planned on doing the previous evening, but he was the captain after all so it would be better to be on the cautious side. "John, Roy...would you please come to my office." "Sure Cap." "Okay Cap." Gage and DeSoto sat down before him. Clasping his hands on his desk, Cap didn't know where to start. The idea that he had to have a talk like this with them was incomprehensible. Clearing his throat, he began what he hoped wouldn't end up with his men fighting. He only wanted to clear the air where the matter was concerned. Nip the problem in the bud. "I think you both know why we're having this little discussion." Roy frowned and Gage nodded his head yes. "I need to know now if there's going to be any problems while you're on duty...concerning the current situation in your private lives." Gage and DeSoto looked briefly at one another, neither man saying a word. Cap sighed knowing that it would be like pulling teeth to get the issue resolved. "John, do you think you'll have a problem working with Roy?" Gage sat up straighter. "No Cap. I don't have a problem with Roy." "Roy what about you?" Roy wanted to scream out that yes he did have a big problem with his partner screwing his daughter, but instead he gave a bland reply. "I don't have a problem working with him." Cap could see Roy's barely restrained anger. "Fine. I have to let you know that if problems do arise due to this little ... issue, I'll have to take action, whether it be disciplinary or transferring one of you permanently to another station. Do I make myself clear?" Gage looked from Cap to Roy then back to Cap, his expression guarded. "I understand." Roy smirked slightly. "So do I." Cap clapped his hands nervously together. "Good. I'm glad we're all clear on this. I'm hoping that you can resolve your differences so I won't lose the best paramedic team in LA." Roy let out a short huff and rolled his eyes. Gage tapped his fingers on the armrest of his chair, then turned to Roy. He wanted to get it all out in the open now. The last thing he wanted was to be distracted by his personal thoughts while on a run. "Roy, I'm not going to do anything...I'm..." He ran a hand nervously through his hair in frustration. "We haven't even been on a date! How come everyone's acting like I've done something wrong?" Roy counted to ten before turning in his seat to look at Gage, his disgust evident. "You know you really have balls, I'll hand it to you. You've been doing God knows what with 'my' daughter behind my back and you expect me to be happy? You're old enough to be her father for Christ sake!" Gage settled back in the chair and frowned. "Well maybe if I had her when I was in high school I could be her dad, but I'm not 'that' old!" Roy stared back at Gage, then laughed as he ran his hands over his face. "You know Gage, your sense of logic constantly astounds me." Gage leaned forward, placing a hand on his chest. "Besides the age difference, what have you got against me and Jennifer dating?" Roy burst out laughing and looked at Cap as he gestured at Gage. "Do you believe him?!" Roy jerked his gaze back at Gage, his voice rising as he spoke. "You go around screwing half the nurses at Rampart and you have the nerve to ask me why I don't want you with my daughter?!" Gage narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips in annoyance, feeling his chest growing tight. "So that's what it all comes down to huh? You think this is all about sex? Man, I can't believe you!" He gripped the arm rest, trying to keep his anger in check, but the sarcasm in his voice was loud and clear. "I haven't 'screwed' half the nurses at Rampart. Sure I've gone out with some of them. I've taken them to dinner or the movies. They're called dates Roy. Oh, but I keep forgetting, you've only been with Joanne since you were in grade school so you wouldn't have any idea what a date is." Roy shouted back at him. "You leave Joanne out of this!" Gage yelled back. "I'm not talking about Joanne, I'm talking about you! Have you ever thought that I care about Jenny? Do you think the only reason I want to be able to see her is so we can..." He gestured about with his hands. Roy stared back at him and gritted his teeth. It was taking all of his resolve to not jump up and punch Gage in the face. "Isn't that the whole point to dating? So you can get to 'know' someone better?" "Yeah Roy, that's right. To get to 'know' them not bang'em!" Roy jumped to his feet and Gage remained seated. He wasn't going to fight Roy and he had meant it. All it would do is make the rift between them grow deeper. He wanted to be able to somehow salvage their friendship, but the way things were looking the chances of it happening were slim. Fighting Roy would only cause him to lose his job and Jennifer. He knew she wouldn't put up with it. Cap's voice was quiet. "Roy, sit down please." Roy glared at Gage as he slowly sat back down. Cap sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have brought them to his office after all. Things had seemed fine at roll call and all he had done was mess things up. He had to think of something that would ease the tension. He knew their working together right now wouldn't do either man any good. It had to be done. Maybe if they spent some time apart, they'd realize just what they meant to each other. "I can see that there's going to be some problems here whether either one of you wants to admit it." Cap looked directly at Gage. "I'm going to request that you be temporarily assigned to 110." Gage opened his mouth to protest and Cap held a hand up to stop him. "I said temporary John, not permanent. I think both of you need to cool off and get your lives in order." He looked at Roy. "I'll be moving you to B shift." Roy's face fell, but he remained silent. "Once you've settled things, I can evaluate the situation and have you back on your regular shift together." Gage and Roy sat silently, ignoring one another. Cap wanted to reach out and shake them both. He wanted to shake Gage for all of this and he wanted to shake Roy for not being more understanding of the situation, but being a father, he would have been just as upset as Roy if Gage was the one wanting to date his daughter. He shuddered involuntarily. The man simply wasn't stable when it came to the dating game. He jumped from woman to woman, never really thinking about his actions. It was like having a perennial teenager in their midst. With a tired sigh he dismissed them. "Try and get along with each other. All I'm asking is that you do your jobs and do it professionally. Do you understand?" Their voices answered him in unison. "Yes Cap." They both stood and glared at one another. Gage gestured ahead of him. "After you." Roy ignored him and left the room. Gage looked back at Cap, like he was about to say something. Shaking his head, he turned and walked out. Cap leaned back in his chair and looked heavenward. "Why me? Why can't I have a nice normal group of men like the other captains?" ******************************* Dixie watched her two favorite paramedics approach the nurse's station. The distance between them was painfully obvious. Roy looked irritated and Gage looked like a puppy that had been kicked one time too many. She smiled at them, hoping to alleviate some of the tension. "Hi Johnny, hi Roy. How are you two doing today?" Roy nodded distractedly. "Hi Dixie." He barely looked at Gage, his voice dry. "I'll be back in a few minutes, you can get the supplies." Gage watched Roy walk to the elevator. He knew exactly where he was headed. Accounting, so he could grill Jennifer. "Penny for your thoughts, Johnny." Gage turned to Dixie and frowned. "They're not even worth a penny, Dix." "It's gotten bad hasn't it?" "Bad isn't the word. It's...man, it's beyond bad." Two nurses walked by the station giving him dirty looks. He motioned at their retreating figures as they went down the corridor. "You see that Dixie? That's what I have to put up with. I haven't done anything and people are acting like I'm a leper." Dixie leaned on the counter. "I'm not saying this to be mean Johnny, but you do have something of a reputation." She held a hand up, stopping him from protesting. "Deserved or not, you have one. If you're going to be dating Jennifer, people will assume the rest." The frustration was clearly evident in both his face and voice as he talked. "Dix, I've never told anyone anything I've done or haven't done for that matter. It's my business what I do when I go out with someone. If I have a reputation, then it's all rumors." Dixie shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I know Johnny, but rumors sometimes sound better than the truth. I'm speaking from experience." "Yeah I know, but at least you and Dr. Brackett are still good friends. Roy..." His voice faded as he looked down at the floor. "Johnny." He looked back up at her, seeing the sympathetic look in her eyes only made him feel worse. "Roy'll come around. Just give him some time." She smiled slightly, resisting the urge to reach out and hug him. "Be honest with yourself Johnny. How would you have reacted if the shoe were on the other foot?" Gage gave her a weak smile in return. "Yeah, you do have a point, but I was hoping...man, I don't know what I was thinking when I thought things wouldn't be this bad." Looking down the hall, he watched as Roy jogged toward him wearing a worried expression. What had Jennifer said to him that would have wound him up so much? ******************************* Roy smacked the HT restlessly in his hands while he waited for Jennifer to come out of the office and into the hall. As the door opened, she spotted him and smiled brightly. "Hi Dad, what brings you here?" Looking up and down the hall, she didn't see Gage. She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. "Something's happened to Johnny?" Roy looked back at her completely dumbfounded. He came to talk to her and all she did was worry about Gage. It made him sick. "There's nothing wrong with him, he's getting supplies." "Oh...so why are you here?" "Do I have to have a reason to want to see my daughter?" "Well, no I guess." "You guess?!" Jennifer immediately knew that things had gotten worse. Something happened or her father wouldn't have been up to see her. "Dad, what's the matter?" Roy fidgeted with the HT. Jennifer had the same penetrating stare that Joanne had when she knew there was something bothering him. The one that wouldn't allow lying. "I don't want you seeing him." Jennifer crossed her arms, her voice growing cold. "Why?" Roy's anger came rushing back. "You have to ask why? Jennifer, he's old enough to be your father!" She snorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Yeah, maybe if he had married Mom when he was in high school he could be." Roy stared back at her open mouthed. His daughter, his own flesh and blood, just quoted back what Gage had said to him earlier in the day. Throwing his arms up in the air, his voice got louder with each word. "I give up! You do what you want to do Jennifer, but when he hurts you, I don't want to hear it!" She shook her head no. "Dad, Johnny's not going to hurt me. How can I make you understand how we feel?" "You can't. I just...this isn't right and you know it. He knows it." She sighed and looked down at the floor, trying to contain her frustration. Looking back up, she had tears in her eyes. Placing a hand on her chest, her voice quivered slightly. "I know it's right. I feel it in here." Roy shook his head and frowned. "Jennifer, I think you're confusing a childhood crush with love. You're not even old enough to know what real love is." Her eyes narrowed in anger as she spat the words out. "No, I do know what love is. It's feeling like you're going to die if something happens to the person you care about. It's having to sit back and pretend you're a good little girl, while the man you want is out trying to find something that's right in front of his face. I'm an adult. I don't have to hide how I feel anymore and neither does Johnny." She gestured wildly with her hands. "Who's getting hurt by us being together?!" Roy sighed. Jennifer was just as stubborn as her mother and was blinded by what she thought was the only truth. "I'm being hurt by this. So is your mom and Chris is too. Everyone at Rampart and the station think he's..." He clamped his mouth shut. He didn't want to let his little girl know what her co-workers thought. "They think he's what?" Roy clutched the HT tightly in his hand. Maybe if she heard what other people thought, she'd wake up and forget about the whole thing. She'd see what a horrible mistake she was making. How ridiculous it was. "They think he's been...fooling around with you for some time. Since you were in high school." "What?!" Roy knew he had struck a nerve. "Try and see how everyone else sees it. What if Chris suddenly said he was going to date a woman in her forties? What would you be thinking?" Jennifer's voice was low and tense. "I'd be happy for him as long as it was who he wanted to be with. I wouldn't judge him like everyone's judging Johnny and me." Roy laughed. "That's a crock and you know it." He pointed an accusing finger at her. "Last year when Gage was seeing that woman Beth, I remember hearing you say how much you didn't like her. How wrong she was for him. You weren't happy with who he wanted to be with." Jennifer bit her lip. He had her cornered and she knew it, but she had also been right. Beth wasn't who Gage wanted. "She was wrong for him and you know it Dad." "No, I don't know. I really thought that she was the one. He gave her a ring, they were making wedding plans, the whole nine yards, but you and she..." Roy's voice trailed off as it dawned on him why Jennifer and Beth had the argument, almost coming to blows. His voice was incredulous. "You were jealous. You started that fight with her on purpose to break them up." Jennifer smirked back at her father. He was finally putting all of the pieces together. "Uh huh. I was jealous Dad. Think about it for a minute. I wanted what she had. What 'I' didn't have." She looked pointedly at him. "Until the other day, neither one of us knew how the other felt. We hid our true feelings for each other because we were afraid of what everyone would think. We were afraid of each other." She felt her throat tighten. "Do you know what it's like to finally say I love you to someone and hear the other person say it back?" Roy felt himself go numb as the words that he'd been hearing sunk in. Gage and Jennifer were telling the truth. They hadn't been fooling around behind his back. Jennifer could tell by her father's silence that he finally believed her. Just as he opened his mouth, the HT went off. They stood in silence, listening to the tones go off. Jennifer felt a chill run down her spine as she heard both the squad and the engine from 51 called, then two additional stations were added. When dispatch said it was a warehouse fire, the chill turned to fear. Roy could see the fear in her eyes. She had learned a long time ago what a large fire meant. "I have to go pumpkin." She fought to keep her voice from trembling. "Yeah, I know." Reaching out, she grabbed him and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. "Be careful Dad." "I will." Releasing him, she watched as he walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Letting out the nervous breath that she had been holding, she began a silent prayer for all the firemen on duty, hoping that they'd make it through the call safely and go home to their families. Walking back to her desk, she stared blankly at the forms in front if her. Visions of her dad and Gage burning to death flashed through her mind. Shaking her head, she chided herself. They were professionals who had been fighting fires for years. They knew what they were doing and they'd come back to the station and call her. Picking a pencil up, she began working, trying to push aside the feeling of dread that gripped her. For some reason, she knew deep down inside that something bad was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it. ******************************* Roy jogged up to the nurse's station, motioning at Gage as he rushed past him. "We've got a call." Gage immediately tensed up. It had to be a big one, if Roy was getting excited over it. He gave Dixie a quick smile. "Gotta run Dix, see ya' later!" Before she could say anything, he rushed after DeSoto and disappeared around the corner. She whispered the words she had said a hundred times before. "Be careful guys." ******************************* Hopping into the squad, Roy turned over the ignition, throwing it into gear as Gage jumped in the vehicle. Gage looked over at him in nervous anticipation. "What's the call?" "It's the warehouse over on West Beach." "You're kidding?" "No." "We were just there last week." "I know. Apparently someone wants it gone." They lapsed into silence, the adrenaline coursing through them. A large warehouse fire was bad enough but when possible arson was involved, they never knew what additional problems would arise. By the time they reached the location, they were on edge, ready to leap into action. Leaning forward, Gage looked through the windshield, the awe in his voice barely concealed. "Will you look at that." As the squad stopped, he jumped out, grabbed his turnout coat and quickly pulled it on as he and Roy made their way to where Stanley was calling out orders over his HT. Flames and smoke rolled from the structure. Hose, equipment and men were scattered about in organized chaos, trying to battle the huge blaze. As soon as Cap saw them, he motioned them forward, his expression serious, his voice angry. "There's a possible victim in there. Security said he saw a teen aged boy going in, but he couldn't locate him. Once the fire started he got out of there and made the call. I want you two to assist 19. Go in, check out the second and third floors, then get the hell out of there." Gage nodded. Roy's next words caught him off guard. "Okay Cap. Come on Johnny." He hesitated, then smiled as he jogged after Roy. Maybe it was only a result of stress or habit, but it felt good to hear Roy call him Johnny instead of Gage. As they strapped on their SCBA, Roy looked at Gage, seeing how wired up he was getting. The barely contained excitement of the younger man began to rub off on him just like it always did. He knew his junior partner wasn't careless, but sometimes his need to help those in trouble usually ended up with him being injured. Even though they had been doing this for years, the newness of every rescue never seemed to dim his love for the job. Gage felt Roy's stare and looked up. Locking eyes with him, he couldn't help grinning. "Don't worry Pally, I'll be careful." Roy smirked and shook his head. "You do that Junior." They paused as each man realized that they had lapsed back into their old relationship. It felt right. The tension that had existed between them seemed to be gone. Slipping their masks on, Roy patted Gage on the shoulder as they turned toward the fire. Roy definitely knew he and Gage still needed to talk, but that would have to wait until after they completed the task at hand. Once their search was done and the fire was out, there would be time to sit down and discuss the changes in their lives. Not yell or scream, but talk things over like they always did. ******************************* As they made their way into the warehouse, Gage knew that if they found the missing boy, he'd probably be dead or in serious condition. The smoke was thick and the heat from the flames was oppressive. He could feel the sweat starting to trickle down his back, his mask fogging. Taking the stairwell, they made slow progress. Roy's presence behind him, gave him comfort in the fact that he was there and that things were finally getting back to normal between them. Leaving the stairwell, he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder causing him to stop and turn around. Roy motioned at him, that he would take the right sector. Nodding in understanding, Gage made quick work of checking his portion of the floor. Meeting back at the stairwell, they yelled at the same time. "I didn't find him!" Quick smiles were exchanged, then replaced by apprehension as a large explosion rocked the building. Gage pushed DeSoto toward the stairwell and they ran back down to the first floor. As they came out into the opening, Donny and his partner Steve Mayo ran up to them. Each man yanked off their face mask. Donny's voice was high and fast, showing the fear that they all felt. "This place is going to blow! Cap just told us there's a small storage of potassium chlorate somewhere in here. We'll fan out, cover this floor and bug out!" Gage cast a worried glance in DeSoto's direction before they spread out. Potassium chlorate was highly volatile to begin with, but when involved in a fire, there was no doubt in his mind that the warehouse would go up like a rocket at any moment. He increased his pace as he scanned the floor and behind crates and boxes. He wanted out of there in the worst way. To die rescuing a victim was one thing. To die checking out an empty warehouse pissed him off. Rushing up to the exit, he breathed in relief as he spied Roy already standing by the door. Roy grabbed him by the arm and motioned him out. He waved him off and turned to see where Donny and Steve were. The figures of the two men could barely be made out as they jogged toward the exit. Then hell visited them. He felt the concussion of the explosion, the heat smashing into him. There wasn't time to react as he was thrown back against the wall. He couldn't breathe as the air was forced from his lungs. What he saw before him, he would never forget as long as he lived. There was only a short distance of fifteen yards or so separating him and Roy from Donny and Steve. Fifteen yards that meant the difference between life and death. The blast took the other two paramedics, engulfing them in flames, throwing them across the warehouse and slamming them into a stack of crates. Steve's body slummed to the ground, motionless save for the flames surrounding his body. He was the lucky one. Donny lay trapped beneath fallen crates, his screams loud, his arms and upper body flailing wildly against the fire burning him alive. Every instinct told Gage to help Donny, but his training told him there was nothing he could do. If he attempted to rescue him, he would die as well. Averting his eyes from the horror before him, Gage struggled to his feet. Grabbing Roy by the arm, he hauled him up. Together they stumbled from the warehouse as another explosion reverberated behind them. They were thrown to their knees by the force of the blast. Scrambling back to their feet, they hurried away from warehouse, relieved to have made it out in one piece. They collapsed in a heap by the side of an engine. Pulling his mask off, Gage lay panting on the ground as the adrenaline in his system began to wane. With it's absence came a rush of pain in his side and back. The last thing he remembered was Cap standing over him, his lips moving, but he couldn't make out what he was saying as everything faded to black. ******************************* He could hear voices that sounded like they were coming from a distance. Muffled and jumbled they niggled at his brain. He knew the tones, but the words all ran together like an insect buzzing at his ear. Rolling on his side, he used his hands to push away the thing that was near his face and head. At his movement, the sounds increased in volume. Blinking slowly, Gage covered his face from the blinding light that assaulted his eyes as he was rolled gently onto his back. "Easy there John, I have to check you over." The light appeared again causing him to pull back. He tried grabbing the offending item, only to have his hands easily pushed away. Things came back into focus and he saw Cap standing over him, wearing that worried paternal look of his when one of them was injured. It all came rushing back to him. The fire, the explosion...Donny and Steve being burnt to death. "Shit." He lay for a second trying to think. Something was wrong. "Roy?!" He struggled to sit up, only to fall back as his head began to spin. Cap's voice was soothing. "Roy's okay John." Cap looked at the paramedic treating Gage. "Let me know how he is. I need to go and talk to Daniels." "Okay Captain Stanley." Gage could hear Cap's retreating footsteps. Where was Roy? Cap said he was okay, so how come he wasn't with him? He lay back on the ground, covering his face with his hands, trying to think why he was feeling so out of sorts. He remembered being thrown against the wall. His back and side had borne the brunt of it. He knew those pains were from the air tank. What he didn't remember was hitting his head or blacking out in the warehouse. He couldn't have, considering he had witnessed the demise of his fellow paramedics. What was wrong with him? "John?" Hands pulled his arms back down. He looked up at the paramedic that was examining him. It wasn't Roy it was...what's his name? The young guy from the picnic. The pitcher. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't place the name. He felt the panic beginning to build. "Roy!" "Hey calm down, he's all right. My partner's over there with him." Greg motioned over at his partner Joe who was asking Roy questions while checking his blood pressure. It was obvious that he was all right because he was sitting on the back of an engine. He appeared calm and relaxed like he always did. Roy looked Gage's way, noticing for the first time that he was awake and looking directly at him. He hadn't heard Gage call out to him due to the noise of the burning warehouse and the efforts being made to bring it under control. Roy immediately stood and began walking quickly over to him, pushing away Joe as he tried to pull him back. Roy rushed over and knelt down next to Gage, his expression relieved. "It's about time you woke up Junior." Gage tried to sit up again, only to have Roy place a hand on his chest and hold him down. "Let Greg finish, then you can think about getting up." Joe walked up behind Roy and snorted, his voice teasing. "You need to follow your own orders DeSoto." Roy looked over his shoulder at Joe and gave him an apologetic smile. "You were almost done anyway. Besides, there's nothing wrong with me." Joe pointed at Roy as he looked down at Gage. "When you two were in the warehouse, how was he?" Gage looked at Roy and frowned. "You're not okay Roy, you didn't get up right away. I had to help you." Roy looked back at Gage and shot him at frown. "I'm fine. I didn't pass out." Gage tried to smile and grimaced instead. He shook his head only to regret it as a sharp pain shot down his neck and back. Swallowing to keep from throwing up, he looked directly at Joe. "He was out. Maybe only for a second, but he was definitely out. He just doesn't want to go to Rampart." Roy's frown grow bigger. "And you don't want to get stuck staying there alone." Gage attempted to sit up again, this time Greg held him down. "Will you be still!" Shooting Greg a dirty look, Gage opened his mouth to tell him to piss off, then he quickly closed it as another wave of nausea hit him. Greg looked from Roy to Gage and then to Joe. "Well Rampart definitely wants Gage to come in, but you have the call on DeSoto." Joe grinned down at Roy. "Considering you left out certain parts on how you were feeling, I think a trip in with your partner is called for." Roy rolled his eyes in irritation, then looked past the paramedic. He saw Cap talking to 19's captain. Turning away from the sight, he shivered involuntarily. It could have been them. He and Gage could have been the ones to die. Instead they earned a ride to Rampart and another chance at life. He looked down at his friend, noticing that Gage was staring past him at the still burning warehouse. He knew what he was thinking. "Johnny, we couldn't do anything to save them." Gage looked away from the blaze. His eyes blurred as he thought of all the what ifs that were involved. What if Roy had been killed? What if he had died? What would have happened to Jennifer if one of them were still trapped back in the burning warehouse, nothing but charred flesh and bone left to bury? Wiping a hand over his eyes, he sighed. "Yeah...but I wish..." "Johnny, listen to me. We couldn't save them. You saw what happened. We had no choice." "I know." Closing his eyes, Gage could see Donny burning, he could hear his screams. He shivered at the memories and tried to block them out with Donny sitting in the squad with him, telling him a joke or talking about his son's latest little league game. Those thoughts only depressed him more. Donny had a wife and son that would never see him again. There would be a big fancy funeral with all the trimmings, then they would be handed the flag from his casket and it would be all over and done with. Donny did his duty and died for it. He thought of Steve the younger of the team. Donny and Steve were like he and Roy when they had first started out, only Steve was quiet. He hardly even knew the man. What would be left for his family to remember? He looked up at Roy, his expression growing hard. "What about the kid in the warehouse? We didn't find him, so where is he?" Roy frowned and he could see Greg and Joe looking quickly away from him. "Roy?" Roy ran a hand over his head, his voice bitter. "The police caught him five blocks from here. Someone saw him climbing a fence behind the warehouse and called it in." Gage felt his stomach drop, then the anger stabbed him in the chest. He struggled to sit, shoving Roy's hands away from him. "You mean Donny and Steve died for nothing?!! They fucking died for shit?!!" ******************************* Cap turned as he heard Gage's outburst. He looked back at Captain Daniels who motioned him away. "Go talk to your men." With a heavy heart, Cap walked away from Daniels, thanking God that all he had to do was go and talk to Gage and DeSoto about the deaths of Donny and Steve. He didn't envy the living hell that Daniels and the rest of the men at 19 would have to go through in the next few weeks. They had lost two of their own. Sighing, he corrected himself. They had all lost the two men. Brothers forever linked in death. Now he had to go and deal with the survivors. ******************************* Gage lay quietly on the gurney, still seething mad at the turn of events. Having heard all the details from Cap about the boy getting arrested hadn't calmed him down. He had ranted and raved rather loudly in only the fashion that he could, leaving him flat on his back practically hyperventilating. He knew he should control his temper, but this wasn't some minor mishap. Two men had died for nothing while some punk boy would get a slap on the wrist for causing all of it. Roy had even threatened to contact Rampart and have him sedated when he had finally caught his breath and was about to start yelling again. As they loaded him into the ambulance, he resisted the urge to grab onto the doors to keep them from putting him in the vehicle. It always reminded him of a casket being placed in a hearse and after watching Donny and Steve die, he couldn't shake the vision of his own body being shuffled off for burial with the two men. Curling his hands into fists, he watched as Roy and Greg climbed in and settled down. He was irked that they didn't insist that Roy be hauled around like he was. He glanced over at Roy and could see that he was a bit upset about him basically ratting him out. Roy wasn't glaring back at him or anything like that, but Gage could tell by the set of his jaw that he was one unhappy camper. He began to worry about his partner. Roy had a nasty habit of hiding how he really felt. Not that he wasn't guilty of doing the same thing, but people believed Roy. He was the mature one. The older, more respected part of their duo. Roy could fool any one of the doctors at Rampart into believing that he was fine and dandy and then off he would go. Free as a bird and his injuries left untreated. If Roy managed to weasel his way out of the hospital, he'd have to say something again to make sure he received the proper treatment. Staring up at the ceiling of the ambulance, Gage thought about what had happened back at the warehouse. Why couldn't he remember Greg's name? Why did he pass out? Closing his eyes, he sighed. He'd have his answers soon enough. After he was delivered into the hands of whatever doctor was on duty, they'd figure it out. At least he hoped they would. Then the panic of the situation began to slowly grab hold of him. If he told them about the memory loss, they'd keep him overnight for observation. Or even for a few days! The idea of being trapped in a hospital bed made his blood run cold. Nurses would come in and out of his room at odd hours, poking and prodding him. Asking one question after another, over and over. Then there would be the tests. Needles jammed in his skin, drawing out blood. Hands twisting and pulling at his various body parts, sometimes so painfully that he often wondered if they were trying to create an injury so that they could keep him in there longer to try out experimental treatments. He knew they were only doing their jobs, but just once he wished they would leave him alone so that he could sleep without being woke up every fifteen minutes. Reaching a hand up, he began to rubbed tiredly at his eyes only to have Greg pull his arm back down. "Quit moving around Gage, you'll pull your iv out." Shooting Greg a nasty look, he settled back again, ignoring Roy who was now looking over at him, his expression worried once more. He knew what he would do. Maybe he had only been disoriented, not unconscious. That was it. If he kept his mouth shut, the worst he could expect would be an overnight stay. He'd stay quiet and get the hell out of there as fast as he could. Now all he had to do was think of a way to make the doctor on duty believe him. ******************************* Roy sat on the exam bed, tracking Dr. Brackett's finger. He was still peeved that Gage had to go and say something about him blacking out. He hadn't really blacked out in the true sense of the word, he had only lost consciousness for a few brief seconds, not minutes like his partner had been out. He fidgeted as Brackett flashed a light in his eyes. After a few questions and another test or two, Brackett smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Your responses are fine, but I want to keep you overnight for observation just to be on the cautious side." Roy visibly slumped, shaking his head in irritation. Brackett's smile didn't waver as he looked Roy over. "Roy, I know you feel fine, but you did have a period of unconsciousness..." "I wasn't unconscious, it was more like I was disoriented." "Maybe that's so, but that along with those nasty bruises on your back...I'd feel better if we kept an eye on you." Flexing a shoulder, Roy felt a twinge. He shook his head no. "I'm not in any pain, I'm just a little achy." Brackett's smile finally faded to replaced by a stern expression. "That may be true, but you know as well as I do that you don't fool around with a head injury." He gave Roy a pointed stare. "No matter how small that injury may be, it could develop into something bigger if not properly taken care of." Feeling chastised, Roy remained silent. Like it or not, he was going to be an over night guest at Rampart. He began to go over the list of things that had to be done. Call Joanne and let her know what was going on and for her to not worry. He hoped that Cap hadn't called her. He loved his wife dearly, but sometimes she overreacted when he was injured. His next thoughts were to notifying his children. As soon as he thought it, he paused for a second or two. How would Jennifer react to all of this? It would be a test to see if she were prepared for this type of life. She was use to seeing her favorite "uncle" in the hospital, but things were different this time. He wondered if she would be able to handle it. As much as he hated admitting it to himself, he wished she would pull away from Gage like some of the women in the past had done when they realized how unstable their future would be with him. The only problem was his daughter had grown up knowing that as a fireman, each day could be the last one spent with a loved one. Things would be pretty interesting in the next few hours. ******************************* Gage cringed as Dixie and Joe Early walked into the treatment room. He was trapped. Maybe if one of the newer resident ER trainees had examined him, he  could have pulled it off, but with these two, he didn't stand a chance. Joe's eagle eyes never missed a thing and Dixie knew him so well that she could read him like an open book. All his plans of sleeping in his own bed flew out the window with their arrival. Joe walked over to the table that Gage lay on and smiled down at him. "Well Johnny, what happened to you this time?" As Joe began to examine him, Gage answered him. "I um...I kind of blacked out for a few seconds." Greg who was standing at the door cocked an eyebrow at him. "It was more like a few minutes Doctor Early." Gage shot Greg a look that could kill. Dixie glanced back at Greg and smiled. "We can take it from here Greg. Thank you for all your help." Greg smiled back at her. "Okay Dixie." Just as he was about to pull the door shut behind him, Greg popped his head back in the room. "Take it easy Grandpa." Laughing, he ducked out before Gage could say anything. Joe looked over at the closed door and frowned. "Who does he think he is calling me Grandpa? I'm not that old am I?" Gage couldn't keep the grin off his face as he looked Early over. With his silver hair and glasses he looked the part of the quintessential grandfather. "Nah, he's just ribbin' me about being old." Joe peered over his glasses at Gage and smiled. "You're not even forty yet, you're just a baby." Gage smiled brightly, feeling vindicated. "Yeah, but you know how it is when you're only in your twenties. You get sort of cocky." Dixie looked down at him with a teasing smile on her lips. "That sounds exactly like someone I know." "Aw, come on Dix, when I was his age I never acted like that!" Joe and Dixie fixed him with stares, then burst out laughing. "Oh all right, so I was a bit sure of myself." Joe marked a few things down on a chart and shook his head as he remembered exactly how Gage use to be and still was at times. Headstrong, cocky and opinionated, but he had always managed to balance it out with enough humility and intelligence to make him tolerable when he'd go off on a tangent. It also didn't hurt that he was a likable person to boot. There was something about him from day one that Joe always like, but could never quite put his finger on. "So tell me what happened. How did you lose consciousness?" Gage gave them every detail of the fire and the explosion except he brushed over Donny and Steve's deaths. He didn't want to let them know how horrible it had been. "After Roy and I got out of the building, the last thing I remember was Cap saying something to me. The next thing I know, I have Greg leaning over me checking me out." Early gave him a thoughtful look and asked a few more questions, each time getting an answer of no from Gage. "Dixie, I want a full blood work up and a skull series." He noticed Gage's look of panic and almost smiled. "Don't worry Johnny, I promise I won't keep you here any longer than necessary." "Uh huh. You say that every time." Dixie gave Gage a playful nudge on the shoulder as she grabbed a syringe. "Then quit coming here." After Dixie sucked enough blood out of him to satisfy a vampire, Gage found himself alone in the treatment room. He knew he was stuck. The one night stay would expand into a week if they couldn't find out what was wrong with him. He stared at the ceiling above him, then cursed under his breath. Jennifer. He had forgotten all about her. How would she react to this? Did she even know about what happened? If he knew the gossip mill the way he did, one of the nurses would make sure she knew about it and soon. This would be the test. Did she really love him the way she said she did or would she be like all the rest? Would she leave him the moment she realized that he could die any day, any time? A feeling of worry gnawed at him. He hadn't even had a chance to take Jennifer out on a date and now maybe that chance would never come. With a heavy heart, he began to prepare himself for the worst. A small chuckle escape him. What would be the worst thing in the world to him would make Roy, Joanne and everyone else involved happy as hell. Now all he had to do is wait and see if his life continued on the path he had chosen or would he be forced off the road again. ******************************* It seemed like it had been an hour since Dixie and Doctor Early had left him in the treatment room. Looking at the clock on the wall, he saw that it had been only a little over fifteen minutes. If time were dragging now, he knew that it would stand still the moment he was placed in a room. The door opened and in walked Dixie carrying a tray. Setting it down next to the table that he lay on, she gave him an almost motherly look that was quickly replaced by a stern expression. "Johnny how much have you had to eat today?" Gage thought back, then gave her a guilty look. "I had a cup of coffee this morning." "And?" "That's it." "What about yesterday?" "Um...some milk, coffee and...half a sandwich." She frowned and shook her head as she picked up a glass from the tray. "Now I know how you've stayed thin all these years." She motioned for him to sit up and handed him the glass. It was orange juice. He took a sip, then drained the rest in one long guzzle. Handing the glass back to her, she arched an eyebrow at him. "Do you want to know the results of your blood work?" Looking at the glass in Dixie's hand, then back at her irritated expression he already knew the answer. He looked down at the floor and mumbled in a guilty voice. "Yeah." "You have low blood sugar. Combined with the stress of the past few days and you getting thrown around in the explosion, you passed out." Peeking up at her, he felt a smile coming to his face. "Does that mean I can go home?" "No." His head snapped up and his voice rose a fraction. "Why not?! You just said I was fine!" "No, I said you have low blood sugar. Joe wants to keep you over night for observation." "Aw man! Come on Dix, let me go home." "Why? So you can sit around, brood and not eat? You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you." She handed him a plate with a couple of cookies on it. "You can snack on these for now. As soon as we get you situated in your room, I'll have dinner sent up to you and I expect you to eat every single crumb." Gage made a face at the thought of eating the hospital food, causing Dixie to smirk at him. "Don't blame me, you're the one that has to learn to eat better." "I do eat it's just the past few days...I haven't had much of an appetite." Dixie watched Gage as he munched on a cookie. The shadows beginning to form under his eyes weren't lost on her. "Have things gotten any better?" She was surprised when he smiled at her. "Roy's talking to me." "He is?" "Yeah...well not exactly, but things are better." He gave her a concerned look. "How is he?" Dixie couldn't help smiling as she spoke. "He's resting comfortably in room 302. Kel thought it would be best if he stayed over night." Gage smiled back at her. "What room will I be in?" "The bed next to him is open if you'd like to be his roommate." "Thanks." Handing the empty plate back to Dixie, he stretched his arms forward, flinching at the pain in his back. He gave Dixie a sheepish look. "Can I have some pain killers?" She gave him another smile. "Don't worry, that's on the chart. You don't have any broken bones, but you do have some deep bruising on your back and shoulder. That air tank did a nice job on you." "Yeah, it hurts like a bi...it really smarts when you land on one." Dixie picked up the tray with the empty glass and plate and left to get a wheelchair. Things weren't that bad after all. One night in the hospital and then he could go home. He felt a bit embarrassed to find out that it was only stress and lack of food that dropped him like a rock, but he preferred it to the alternative. Now all he had to do was talk with Roy and more importantly, see if Jennifer still wanted to be with him. ******************************* As soon as the door to the room was opened, Gage knew that Roy would talk to him. As Dixie wheeled him to his bed, he could see the lines of worry on his partners face. If Roy had completely ignored him, he knew he would be up a creek without a paddle. Right now he felt like he was piloting a speed boat. Everything was going to be fine. Standing, he grabbed the back of his hospital gown to prevent Dixie from getting a view of his backside. He knew she had seen him before, hell she had seen him naked more than most of his girlfriends ever had, but he still had enough modesty to keep himself covered as much as he could. As he slid under the covers he caught Dixie's smile. Shaking her head, she chuckled good naturedly. "Johnny, what am I going to do with you?" Wiggling his eyebrows, he gave her a wicked grin in return. "I don't know, you tell me." He immediately froze and peeked over at Roy who shook his head. Gage was surprised to see that he wasn't upset that he was flirting with Dixie. If anything he looked amused. Dixie pulled the covers up and all but tucked him in. Patting him on the shoulder, she leaned down and whispered in his ear. "You couldn't handle me, Johnny." He felt his face heating up with a blush. Even though they were only teasing one another, he always managed to get embarrassed. Dixie had a way about her that oozed sex appeal and he knew that she wasn't kidding when she said she'd be a handful. If it weren't for the fact that she was more like an older sister to him, he would have taken her up on one of her 'offers' years ago. Once he was settled in, Dixie left the room with a promise of dinner and maybe if he were lucky, some ice cream. Turning on his side, he looked over at Roy. "So how're you feeling?" Roy shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I'm fine. If it weren't for a certain paramedic telling another paramedic that I blacked out, I'd be back at the station." Frowning, Gage had the decency to feel a pang of guilt, but it didn't stop him from arguing his case. "Well...you did pass out. I had to practically carry you out of there." "Carry me?! You didn't carry me. I distinctly remember running under my own power thank you. If it weren't for you dragging me down, I wouldn't have ended up on my butt in the first place." "I did 'not' drag you down, you collapsed." "Johnny..." Running a hand over his face, Roy blew out a breath. Gage always seemed to see things one way. His way. "Look, I'll admit I was disoriented, but I didn't pass out. You were the one laying flat on your back, not me. It took Greg a couple of minutes to bring you around." Roy's expression turned slightly worried. "What exactly happened to you any way?" Gage looked down at the floor, feeling like a complete idiot. He mumbled under his breath. "Low blood sugar." Roy squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side. "What did you say?" Looking straight at Roy, he raised his voice. "I had low blood sugar." "Low blood sugar? How could you have low blood sugar? You eat like a horse." "I haven't exactly felt like eating much these past few days." This time it was Roy's turn to feel guilty. He knew the reason for Gage's loss of appetite and he was one of the main causes. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Gage knew that he'd have to keep Roy talking if things were to keep getting better. If they could settle things once and for all, maybe life would get back to normal for the both of them. He missed talking to Roy. It had been two days of hell without him being able to tease or joke with his friend. Two days of feeling like a total outsider again. "Did you call Joanne and let her know what happened?" "Yeah, I'm glad I got a hold of her before it hit the news. That's all I'd need is for her to sit down and see that." Shifting in his bed, Gage winced. His back really did hurt. He couldn't wait to get his meds along with dinner. His thoughts turned back to their two fallen comrades. "I wonder who told Donny and Steve's families?" Roy's looked thoughtful. "I guess Daniels would do it. It's times like this that I'm glad I never took the captain's exam." "I know what you mean. That'd be a really rough thing to do." Roy looked over at Gage. It could have been him laying back in the building burned alive. He felt his heart begin to beat faster. Gage could have died, thinking that he hated him. The doubts that had been in his mind were replaced by a reluctant acceptance. Would it really be all that bad for his daughter to date his best friend? It wasn't like they were going to get married. He shivered involuntarily at the thought. That would make Gage his son-in-law. Now that would be something he didn't know if he could deal with. Then he thought of Jennifer and him having children...he could felt the panic beginning to set in. "Uh Johnny?" "Yeah?" "You...I know you and Jennifer...well...you're going to date, but you're not thinking about...you know...marrying her or anything like that?" It took all he had to not laugh in Roy's face. Sure he had the idea of marriage in mind. He was pushing forty and he wanted to start a family, but he wasn't about to say that him. He had better keep those thoughts to himself for the time being. There was no reason to get Roy all worked up over something that was a long way off. "Roy, all I want to do is to be able to take Jennifer out. Go hiking or to the movies, stuff like that." Roy looked back at him in surprise. "You don't want to marry her?" He couldn't resist teasing Roy. "Do you want me to?" He laughed at the look of total and utter panic that appeared on Roy's face. "Roy, we haven't even gone out on a date yet, I don't think you should be planning a wedding. Besides, what if Jennifer doesn't want to get married? She's only twenty-one ya' know." He said the words, but he already knew how Jennifer felt. She had talked with him so many times in the past year or so, about how she wanted to marry young and have her kids as soon as possible. She wanted to be able to enjoy things with them. Now he knew why. She had him in mind the entire time and he wasn't getting any younger. If he and Jennifer 'were' to marry, children would be the first thing on their list of things to do. Roy's panicked expression turned to one of relief. "You're right. She is a bit young to be getting married and having kids. I mean, Joanne was...um, I mean I'm not ready to be a granddad just yet." Roy's panic came rushing back again as a vision of little Gage's running around in the back yard filled his head. Joanne had been barely nineteen when they got married and they had Chris less than a year later. Taking several deep breaths, he willed himself to calm down. "Roy, are you feeling okay? You look kinda pale." "Yeah...I'm okay...I'm fine." "So does this mean you don't mind if I see Jennifer?" He gave Roy a hopeful look. Roy stared back at him, wondering just what in the hell was he getting himself into. "No...I guess I don't mind." He pointed a finger at him, his voice rising. "If you do anything to hurt her..." Raising his hands in front of himself in a defensive gesture, Gage smiled back at him. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll treat her like the princess that she is...Dad." Roy's face went blank, then he frowned at Gage before smiling. "Don't even think it Junior." Settling back, Gage sighed in contentment. He finally got Roy's blessing to date Jennifer. There'd be no more guilt or hostility involved. Things would go back to the way they use to be, but he'd have what he finally wanted. Jennifer in his life the way he had wanted her to be. As soon as he thought about her, the door to their room flung open, followed by Jennifer running in. She practically threw herself into Roy's arms. Apparently someone had told her what had happened. Now he would have to see if she still wanted to be with him. ******************************* Jennifer tried to appear calm as she walked down the hall toward the room. She counted her blessings that her friend Amy in admittance had told her what had happened at the fire. Her dad wasn't hurt, he was only being kept overnight for observation. When she had heard of the deaths of the two other men, all she could think of is what if it had been him? Her thoughts shifted to Gage. Amy hadn't said anything about him, so she assumed that he was back at the station. At first she was surprised that he hadn't come to see her and tell her what had happened, but she knew that if he were on call, he couldn't take the time out to chit chat. All the years of watching her mom hang the phone up without getting to finish a conversation with her dad had taught her that. The closer she got to the room, the faster her heart beat. Her dad could have died. He'd never get to see her marry or have a family. He'd be gone forever. Shoving the door open, her sight narrowed down to Roy laying in bed. The moment his eyes made contact with hers, she lost it. Rushing forward, she grabbed him in a tight hug, thanking God that he wasn't the one dead. It made her feel guilty thinking it, knowing that someone else was grieving, but she didn't care, her dad was alive and safe. Blinking hard, she held her tears back. She swore she wouldn't cry. Roy held her, rubbing his hand over her back in soothing circles. "It's okay Jennifer, I'm okay." "I know." She took a shuddering breath. "Amy told me and I came right down. Did you call Mom and Chris or do you want me to?" "I already called her. She'll be here as soon as she gets a hold of Chris." Taking a deep breath, she let out a shaky sigh as she let go of her hold around his neck. The tears that she had tried to hold back, slipped out and slid their way down her cheeks. She wiped a hand hurriedly across her face. She was getting to old to be crying like a baby. She'd seen him hurt before, she should have been use to it by now. As she went to sit on the edge of the bed, she saw Gage calmly looking at her from the other bed. Her voice was a shrill yell. "What are you doing here?!" Forcing a fake smile to his face, Gage tried to keep things light. "I'm visiting your dad." She looked from him, then at her dad and then back to him again. She could have lost the both of them. One run and two of the people that she loved the most in her life would be gone forever. She didn't care what her dad thought as she stood and moved to the other bed. Standing over Gage, she frowned down at him, her voice quivering from barely restrained anger mixed with fear. "When were you going to tell me, Johnny?" "I was going to page you after your shift was over." Crossing her arms, she gave him a look of disapproval. "That's not for another hour or so. What if someone else had told me?" She looked back at Roy, the anger growing. "And for that matter, why didn't 'you' tell me?" Roy looked uneasy. Jennifer acted too much like Joanne when she was about to begin a lecture. "I was going to have your mom come up and tell you." She looked at the two men as they fidgeted nervously before her. She felt like reaching out and smacking the both of them upside the head. She wasn't a little girl who needed to be protected from the harsh realities of life. They should have told her right away. Just as she opened her mouth to yell at them, the door to the room opened and Dixie of all people came in with a dinner tray. "Well hello there Jennifer, I see you've met our star patients." Dixie moved past her and went about setting the tray up in front of Gage. He glanced at Jennifer, then quickly chose to inspect the meal sitting before him. Gage frowned at the plate of food. Taking a fork, he poked at what was supposedly chicken, then he pushed at a pile of peas. There was something similar to stuffing next to the chicken, but he couldn't decide what it was. The standard cup of Jell-O and container of juice were there as well. True to Dixie's words, there was a large bowl of ice cream on the tray as well. Dixie frowned at Gage as he inspected his meal. "Does everything meet your standards Sir?" Gage looked up at Dixie, the sarcasm in her voice totally lost on him. "What's this?" He poked at the small pile of mystery food next to the chicken. "It's stuffing." "No really Dix, what is it?" Reaching forward, she snatched the fork from his hand and scooped some of it up. "Open your mouth." "Uh uh. That is "not" stuffing. I know what stuffing looks like." He looked over at Roy. "Joanne makes great stuffing. Remember last Thanksgiving when she..." Dixie cleared her throat, bringing Gage's attention back to her. "You need to eat. Remember what I said to you downstairs? Every last bite. If you don't, I'll make sure they feed you intravenously." Gage caught the gleam in Dixie's eye and immediately knew she wasn't playing around. Reaching out, he took the fork from her and shoveled the food in. Making a face, he quickly swallowed it. "Man, this is awful!" Jennifer looked at Gage, the anger returning. He was trying to side track her. She'd watched him do it for years with her mom and dad and now he was trying to do it with her. Maybe everyone else fell for his tricks, but she wouldn't. "Excuse me! Why are you here!" Three pairs of eyes looked back at her. Dixie smirked slightly before excusing herself. "I'll be back in a bit to pick up that 'empty' plate." Roy slouched down in bed, pulling the covers up, the smile in his eyes never reached his face as he clamped his lips tightly shut. Jennifer was about to grill Gage and he was going to get to sit back and enjoy the show. Gage looked over at Roy, his eyes pleading for help. As he saw the look on Roy's face, he knew he was sunk. Looking back at Jennifer, he gave her a small smile as he stabbed a piece of the chicken and popped it in his mouth. Chewing slowly, he tried to think of a way to tell her without sounding like a complete idiot. ******************************* Slowly chewing, Gage could see that Jennifer was about to either burst into tears or yell at him, but he couldn't tell which. Until recently he had never had to deal with her on such an intimate emotional level. Before it had always been balanced out with him being the uncle who granted her every wish or whim and her being the favored niece who loved him no matter what. He never had to deal with saying no or doing something that would disappoint or upset her. Swallowing, he took a sip of juice before speaking. His mouth suddenly felt dry. "I'm here because I kind of...blacked out." Her voice had a higher pitch than normal. "From what?!" Looking at Roy, he could see that his partner was enjoying his predicament. If he were going to have a relationship with Jennifer, then he'd also have to deal with everything else that went along with it. Deep down inside he knew he wasn't prepared for this. He never had to worry about what his girlfriend would say about his job, because frankly he didn't care. Jennifer on the other hand was different. She had grown up being surrounded by the department. She knew what to expect and what was involved in a relationship with a fireman. The only reason why things wouldn't work out would be because of him and there was no way he was going to screw this one up. He had waited way too long for this. "I had low blood sugar from not eating enough." He said it blandly, like it was an everyday occurrence. Jennifer narrowed her eyes as she looked at Gage. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you're in here because you passed out because you didn't eat enough?" "Uh huh." The look of relief that he was expecting never came. Instead she took a step forward and yelled at him while she poked a finger in his chest. "You're telling me, you almost got yourself killed because you didn't eat?! What's the matter with you?! You're a grown man, you should know better!" "Um Jen...hon..." "Don't you hon me, John Gage." Roy let out a small snort, barely concealing his laughter. Jennifer spun on her heel and gave him a withering glare. "You think it's funny? You and he could have both died and you're laughing? Wait until Mom gets here and we'll see how funny you think it is." Roy went to yell at his daughter for being smart with him, then it hit him. She was right. When Joanne found out all the little details, she wasn't going to be a happy camper. If anything, he was on the hot seat and when Joanne wanted to be a bitch, she could do it well. Jennifer turned back to Gage. He wore a dejected puppy dog face, the one that he used to wheedle and spin his way into getting anything he wanted. It was hard ignoring him when he was like this, looking all cute and hurt, but she knew if she let him get away with it, he'd keep doing it for as long as they were together. Considering she planned on being with him the rest of her life, she was going to put a stop to it now. "Oh no you don't, you can't fool me. You know you're wrong and I don't feel the least bit sorry for you." She knew exactly where to hit him. "I think I'll tell Dixie that you complained about being dizzy. She'll make sure they keep you here for a day or two." Gage frowned, then smiled. "Go ahead. I'm sure your 'dad' will tell Dixie the truth." "Not if I tell her that 'Dad' wasn't feeling all that well either and that you're both trying to cover for each other because neither one of you wants to stay here." His face fell. She was playing dirty. "You wouldn't." "Wanna bet?" She ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back off her face. She couldn't help but notice how his eyes followed her movements. Some times he was such a dog. She didn't mind though. Even if she were mad at him, at least he was looking at her and not some crummy nurse. His response caught her off guard. "I'm sorry." "What?" "I said I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't felt like eating much lately because of everything that's been going on and it kind of caught up with me when I least expected it." Roy looked at Gage in surprise. He was being totally honest and open. No bluffing or hiding behind excuses were being given. This wasn't the John Gage that he knew. The man he knew wouldn't have lied, but he would have stepped around the real reason why he did what he did. He looked from Gage to Jennifer and then back again. Come to think of it, he had always given Jennifer straight, direct answers for as long as he could remember. Jennifer's response startled him as well. "Okay, I accept your apology." She waggled a finger at him. "I expect you to eat from now on and when you aren't feeling good, you have to tell me. Deal?" "Deal." Reaching down, she took one of his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she gave him a small smile. "So you're only here overnight?" "That's what Dixie tells me." "Do you maybe want to go out to dinner tomorrow? Being that you haven't been eating right." "Dinner? I guess it'd be okay." He looked over at Roy. "Would it be okay if we went out to dinner tomorrow night?" Roy froze. Gage had put him on the spot and was testing him at the same time. "Uh...sure...dinner sounds fine." Jennifer could see her father's discomfort. She could also see that Gage was enjoying this moment a little too much. "How about you and Mom join us? We could make it a foursome." Gage's hold on her hand tightened. She smiled innocently back at him. "Well, I don't know. Wouldn't you and Johnny like to have dinner alone?" She waved a hand at him. "We can go out alone another time." Roy noticed the teasing smile on Jennifer's lips and the look of disappointment on Gage's face. He choked back a smile of his own. She was tormenting Gage. That was his daughter, a chip off the old block. "That's okay pumpkin, your mom and I can go out to eat with you some other time." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." The door to the room opened, reveling a harried looking Joanne. She pause briefly as she saw Jennifer standing by Gage's bedside holding his hand. Moving forward, she enveloped Roy in a tight hug. Gage felt like he was intruding as he watched Joanne and Roy hold one another. When she finally let go of Roy, she dug through her purse and quickly wiped the tears from her face. "I'm sorry...it's...you understand Johnny." Nodding his head yes, he gave Jennifer's hand a squeeze. He wondered how many times he would put her through something like this. Would she be this strong all the time? How would she act if something serious ever happened to him? Jennifer could see the look of worry that came across Gage's face. Giving his hand a small tug, she leaned closer to him and smiled. Everything was fine, there was no reason for him to feel down or upset about anything any more. She decided to move the conversation away from them and the accident. Mom, where's Chris?" Joanne made a tired face and smiled. "I don't know. He left this morning to go to the beach with some friends. He was supposed to be home by now." Johnny smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Chris was a lot like him in that respect as well. He was always on the run and never without a date or in the pursuit of one. "You know how Chris is. He's probably still at the beach chasing...um...swimming." Joanne smirked at Gage. She knew as well as he did that Chris didn't go to the beach to play in the surf. "You're probably right. I left a message on his answering machine. Hopefully he'll hear it before someone tells him about all of this. You know how these things get blown out of proportion." Gage nodded in understanding. One time he had been injured on a run and by the time the rumors had gone around some of the stations, he had been mangled, maimed and left for dead, when in reality all he had was a dislocated shoulder and a broken arm. Joanne pulled up a chair and sat close to Roy's bed, envying the way Jennifer was able to stay close to Gage. She looked relaxed as she leaned against the bed, her hand still firmly wrapped around his. She knew without a doubt that Roy loved her, but he wasn't into public displays of affection. Gage was more touchy feely and it appeared that he would have no problem in letting people know how he felt about Jennifer. They talked about everything and everything, but they all avoided talking about the upcoming funerals, preferring to focus on every day life. Joanne was a bit shocked when Jennifer informed her of her plans of to go out to dinner the next night and she was a bit surprised that Roy took it all in stride. It was strange how things had changed within the past week. One moment they were all a happy family, then the next things were torn apart by the change in Gage's relationship with Jennifer. Now it was if nothing had happened as they eased back into a normal conversation about mundane everyday things. Joanne accepted it all. What else could she do? ******************************* Jennifer rushed around her room looking frantically for a gold hair clip that she wanted to wear. Kneeling on the floor, she looked under the bed. Her face lit up in a triumphant smile as she spied the small box that she kept some of her hair things in. Pulling the box out, she dumped the contents on the carpet and immediately found the clip. Snatching it from the pile, she pulled her hair back and fastened it in place. She looked at the mess on the floor that she had created in getting ready for her first real date with Gage. The clips and bows on the floor had joined various pants, jeans and shirts. She had even gone as far as trying on different bras. Not that she expected him to try anything with her so soon, but she wanted to be prepared if he did. It would have been too embarrassing if she were caught wearing an old dingy bra the first time she ever made out with him. Looking at the clock on the dresser, she jumped to her feet. He would be coming to pick her up any minute. Grabbing a pair of sandals, she jammed them on, flinching as the tender skin between her toes made contact with the stiff leather. "Okay Jen, slow down. It's only dinner." Taking a deep breath, she shook her hands out, trying to get rid of the bad case of the jitters that she had. She was finally going to get to go out on a real date with Gage. No mom or dad, no Chris or anyone else for that matter was going with her. It would be only her and him, sitting alone, eating dinner. They had decided on something casual and picked a small restaurant by the beach. Neither one had wanted to make this night overly stressful or romantic, all they wanted was a chance to spend some time together.  She squealed happily as she did a little dance around the room. Checking her appearance in the mirror over the dresser, Jennifer smiled at her reflection. She had to admit to herself that she looked pretty damn good. Her hair hung over her shoulders and down her back looking like a shiny mass of gold. Her jeans were faded to just the right shade and fit her like a glove without making it hard to breath. She picked at the tight low cut white shirt that she had picked out, wondering if she should have worn something less revealing. Just as she opened the door to the closet to look at another shirt, she heard the sound of a car pulling up out front. Racing to the window, she grinned as she watched Gage step out of the Rover and walk up to the house. He wore a pair of faded comfortable jeans, boots and a white polo shirt. Snickering, she backed away from the window. Her white shirt would stay. She knew it would annoy her dad that she and Gage would be wearing matching clothes. She almost grabbed her boots from the closet to wear, but they made her feet hurt and it was way too hot for them. Comfort won out over irritating her dad. The door bell rang and she practically flew down the stairs, yelling as she ran for the door. "I got it!" Grabbing the doorknob, she smiled as she jerked the door open. "Hi Johnny, come on in." Her smile grew wider as she watched him walk into the house. He was looking her over like she was a horse he was about to buy. She should have been offended, but instead, she was giddy. He definitely didn't think of her as a little girl any more. ******************************* The nervousness that he had felt all day settled into a feeling of happiness. The realization that he was going on an actual date with Jennifer and not going out to dinner with the family had finally sunk in. Roy and Joanne wouldn't be going with them. He hadn't even seen Chris to know what he thought of all of this and frankly he had reached the point that he didn't care what Chris or anyone else thought. He had Roy's approval and that was all that mattered. Pulling up front of the house, he stepped out of the Rover and made his way up the sidewalk. Taking a deep breath, he combed his fingers through his hair, hoping he looked presentable. Ringing the doorbell, he expected to wait for a minute or two, but the door swung open immediately. Jennifer stood at the entrance, her lips moved, but he didn't hear what she said as he walked into the house. All he could do was stare at her. Her jeans fit like a well worn glove. His eyes rested on her breasts that strained against the material of the tight white top that she wore. The crowning glory of it all was her hair. The golden mass that was pulled back from her face cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. He wanted to grabbed her and nuzzle his face into it's softness, wrap his fingers through it as he kissed the flesh of her neck. The room was getting a bit hot. Clearing his throat, he finally greeted her. "Jen...are you ready for dinner?" "Oh, I'm more than ready Johnny." He didn't mistake the double meaning of her words and grinned back at her like a fool. Shaking his head, he lowered his voice. "Don't let your dad hear you say that." She gave him an innocent look. "Say what?" "You know exactly what. If they catch you talking like that, I'll be eating dinner alone." "Okay, I'll watch what I say around them. Will that make you happy?" "What would make me happy is us going. I'm starved!" "And whose fault is that?" He gave her an exasperated look. He knew she would never let him forget that he could have died if he had passed out in the building. A dark feeling began to settle over him as he thought of the funerals that would be held the next day. Two men from the same department being buried on the same day. It would be a large somber affair and he didn't know if he was ready to deal with it. Thank God, he wasn't involved in any of the ceremonies. "Johnny?" He blinked as he realized that he had been staring off into space. "Sorry...I was thinking about tomorrow." Taking his hand in hers, she began pulling him toward the kitchen. "Don't think about it. We're going to have a nice dinner together, then a walk on the beach. Let's go and say good bye to mom and dad. He let himself be lead into the kitchen, resisting the urge to pull his hand from hers as he watched Roy look first at their joined hands and then at his daughters tight shirt. As Joanne looked up from the carrots she was cutting, her hands stilled as she took in the sight before her. Wiping her hands off on a dishtowel, Joanne looked pointedly at Jennifer's shirt. "Honey, don't you think you should wear something warmer?" "I'm not cold." "Maybe you should go get that blue sweater you bought last week just in case." "But Mom..." Gage removed his hand from Jennifer's hold and pushed her gently toward the living room. "Go ahead and get it." Rolling her eyes, Jennifer stomped from the room, wishing her parents would start treating her like the grown up that she was. Gage smiled nervously at the two of them as they took in his casual dress. "We're going to that place on the beach." Roy's voice was bland. "Which beach is that?" "Venice. You know the one where we had that rescue a few weeks back. The scalded waitress." Roy relaxed slightly. It was a seafood place. Not in the least bit romantic. He remembered that the tables had been covered in paper, the decorations plain. "I remember it. They were supposed to have good food." Before Joanne could say anything, Jennifer bounced back into the room, the sweater hanging over her arm. "Okay, let's go Johnny, I'm hungry." She rushed forward and gave Roy and Joanne quick kisses on the cheeks. "We won't be late, I have to get to work early tomorrow so I can take time off for the funeral. 'Bye!" Grabbing Gage by the hand she proceeded to pull him from the room, his goodbye lost as they made their way out of the house. Gage laughed as he pulled at Jennifer's hand. "Slow down! They're not going to tie us up and keep us from going out." Jennifer pulled him forward again. "You don't know mom as well as you think you do." "Jennifer, you're being ridiculous." "No, I want to go to dinner, not play dress up." Letting go of his hand, she stood by the passenger side of the Rover. She smiled as he opened the door and ushered her in with the wave of his hand. Climbing in, she settled happily back against the seat. Her smile widened as he got in. Their first date had officially begun. ******************************* As they walked into the restaurant, Jennifer felt goose bumps appear on her skin as Gage placed a palm against her lower back and directed her to their table. Her nerves were on edge. Thinking of going on a date was one thing, but actually doing it was another. As always, he pulled a chair out for her. Sitting down, she looked directly across the table at him as he took his place. They both quietly regarded one another. Gage was the first one to break the silence. "Nervous?" His eyes indicated the napkin she was twisting between her hands. Dropping it, Jennifer giggled. "A little. It's nice, but it feels kind of...weird. Not in a bad way, but I feel like I have to watch what I'm doing in case someone we know comes here." "I know what you mean. I keep waiting for your mom and dad to come running in here, saying they've changed their minds." Picking up their menus, they tried to decide what to eat. The silence between them began to worry Jennifer. Usually Gage had to be told to shut up, the energy of the man never seemed to stop. Now he remained silent, occasionally peeking over at her. A feeling of dread started in the pit of her stomach. Him not talking was definitely a bad sign. She dropped the menu on the table and spoke at the same time as he did. "Johnny, you're not..." "Jen, you're not..." They stopped speaking and looked cautiously at one another. "You first Johnny." "No, ladies first." She breathed in deeply trying to keep her emotions in control. "You're not having second thoughts are you?" He leaned back in his chair and laughed. "Man, we're quite a pair." She gave him a confused look. Reaching across the table, he took her hands in his. "I was going to ask you the same question. You've been so quiet...I thought maybe you changed your mind...about us." "I thought you were thinking the same thing." Squeezing his hands, she smiled brightly. "How about we stop second guessing ourselves and order dinner." Giving her hands a squeeze back, he withdrew them and picked the menu back up. "That sounds like a plan." ******************************* They ordered dinner and drinks, then chatted the way they always had. By the time dinner arrived they were both starving. Gage grinned as he picked up a crab from the large plate they shared. "This better be good. I'm so hungry I was about to pass out..." His voice trailed off and he shrugged his shoulders as Jennifer cast a pointed glare at him. "We're not going to have to have another talk are we?" He shook his head no as he popped a hunk of crab meat in his mouth. He decided it would be safer to shut up and eat. ******************************* Jennifer picked up a crab, then dropped it back on the platter. "I can't eat another bite. I'm stuffed." She looked at the mess they had made of the table. Shells lay strewn across the surface practically covering it. Gage quickly swallowed the food in his mouth. He knew he had a habit of talking with his mouth full and now was as good as a time as any to try and stop doing it. "I hope you don't mind..." He plucked the crab up that she had dropped. "...but I'm still hungry." Jennifer grinned at him and shook her head. "I don't know how you do it. You eat three times as much as dad, but you never gain any weight." Cracking open a claw, he smiled back at her. "I do a lot of physical activities that your dad doesn't do." She stared back at him, her mind wandering off to think just what those activities would be and if maybe she would play a part in them. Gage's laughter caught her off guard. "Jennifer DeSoto, you are one nasty minded girl." She could feel her face heating up from the blush that slowly stained her cheeks. "What do you mean?" "I was talking about hiking and running, not..." He gestured about with his hands throwing crab juice around. Setting the claw on his plate, he grabbed a napkin and wiped his hands off. Jennifer's voice rose slightly in indignation at having been caught thinking what she had been thinking. "I wasn't thinking about 'that'!" "Yeah right. Then why're you blushing?" "I'm 'not' blushing!" His smile was blinding as he shook his head yes. "You are too blushing and might I add it looks very nice on you." Tucking her head down, she slowly raised her eyes to look at him. Pushing a sandal off, she ran a bare foot up one of his jean clad legs. His smile faded to a curious look that was mingled with something else. Edging her foot up further, she smiled at him. "I'm not blushing." She grinned as he grabbed her foot before she could go any higher. "What's the matter Johnny?" The hint of a sultry smile appeared on his lips, sending shivers down her spine. "Not here." She slowly pulled her foot from his grasp, then leaned forward and rested her chin in her hands. She resisted the urge to ask when and where, but she knew it would make her look too eager...too trampy. "When you're done eating can we go for a walk on the beach?" She saw him look out the window, then he smiled at her, a look of mischief in his eyes made her look out the window as well. It was dark outside. Looking down at her watch, she found that they had been sitting there for longer than she had thought. A feeling of nervous excitement began to build inside her. He gave her another smile. "I think a walk would be just the thing we need. You do know that exercise is good for digesting food." He signaled for the waiter to bring the bill and waved her off when she opened her purse. "Don't even try it. When you're with me, I'm buying." "What's the matter Johnny? Can't stand the idea of a woman buying dinner?" "Not if that woman is 'my' date." Jennifer let the subject drop. She knew that in some ways Gage was extremely old fashioned. If he wanted to pay for their dinner, then she'd let him. She'd figure out a way to even things up another time without him ever knowing. Paying the waiter, he stood and pulled her chair out for her. Taking her hand, they walked out of the restaurant and onto the beach. As they made their way down to the water's edge, Jennifer knew exactly how some of her payment would be made and it wouldn't cost her a cent. ******************************* They walked down the beach, staying close to the waves as they rushed onto the shore.  Jennifer stopped and took her sandals off, enjoying the feel of the cool sand as she walked on it. It felt perfectly natural for them to be strolling hand in hand like any other couple would. She still found it hard to believe that it was real. He was with her as her boyfriend not her uncle. Her face screwed up in a thoughtful look. Glancing at him, she decided that calling him her boyfriend seemed a bit ridiculous. He was far from being a boy and it just didn't sound right. "Johnny, how do you want me to introduce you to people?" "Huh?" "You know. When we go places what do you want me to tell people?" "I hadn't thought about that." He grinned. "How about...this is John." She smacked him on the arm with the sandals, then quickly pulled her hand from his to wipe the sand from his skin. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get you dirty." She looked up at him, her expression serious. "No really Johnny. It doesn't feel right me saying you're my boyfriend." "Why? Because I'm so ancient?" He dodged another swipe at him with the sandals. "You know why! It just doesn't seem right." "I'm serious Jen, just introduce me as John or Johnny, whatever. People will figure things out for themselves." His voice lowered to a teasing whisper. "Besides, they're all going to call me cradle robber anyway." Gage jumped away from Jennifer, anticipating her taking another swing at him. She on the other hand didn't prepare for him moving away so fast. Stumbling forward, she fell down, yelping in shock as a cold wave of water splashed over her. Looking up, she glared at Gage who could only stare at her in surprise. When he began laughing, she threw her sandals at him, watching as he ducked and moved, effectively avoiding them. Leaning his hands on his thighs, he smiled down at her. "You know you're beautiful when you're wet and mad." "This isn't funny." Tears of embarrassment began to form in her eyes. She ruined the entire evening by being a klutz, but what made matters worse was the fact that he was laughing at her, adding insult to injury. She'd fix him. "Are you going to just stand there and laugh at me or are you going to help me up?" He took a hesitant step in her direction. "You're not going to splash me are you?" Rolling her eyes, she yelled at him. "No, I'm not going to 'splash' you!" Reaching down, he grabbed her outstretched hand, yelling in surprise as she jerked him forward, bringing him down into the surf beside her. "Hey!!!" She grinned evilly as he rolled over and sat up. At first she thought he was going to yell at her, instead he smiled. "I guess I deserved that." "Yes, you did. You shouldn't have laughed at me." Standing, he shook the water from his arms, then frowned as he looked at a wave rolling over his boot tops. Shaking his head, he reached down and easily pulled her up. After taking a few steps forward, he unceremoniously flopped down in the sand and pulled his boots off. As he peeled his socks off, he looked up and gave her a teasing smile. "You feel like taking a swim?" She looked down at him, her voice squeaking as she spoke. "Now?" "Yeah." "I, uh...I don't have my bathing suit." "Neither do I." She could tell he was playing with her. She knew he thought she wouldn't take him up on his offer. Looking at him, then to the waters edge and then back at him, she gave him a small smile. "Okay." She reached down and pulled her shirt off, grateful that she had decided to wear a new bra after all. She laughed inwardly as Gage's mouth dropped open. Her fingers shook slightly as she unbuttoned her jeans. "Jen." She began to slowly unzip them, then stopped. "If you're going to swim Johnny, you have to take off your clothes." She walked away from him as she shimmied her way out of the wet jeans, hoping that he didn't see how nervous she really was. He was probably use to women undressing in front of him, but the only man she had ever undressed for was her doctor and he left her alone with a nurse when it came down to her completely disrobing. Looking back over her shoulder, she turned and gawked at Gage as he stood and pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the ground next to her shirt. Her eyes were instinctively drawn to his hands as he undid his jeans and pulled them down and off, taking his boxers with them. She stared at him, not knowing what to say or do as he walked toward her. When he stopped directly in front of her, she looked away, her voice showing her nervousness. "I...do you want me to...I mean..." Talking her chin, he directed her to look him in the eye. She couldn't help, but peek down. She could feel another blush coming on. "You don't have to if you don't want to." With shaking hands, she reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra. She looked around, praying to God that no one else was out on the beach at this time of night. As she slid a skimpy strap from her shoulder, Gage moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shivering figure. Her breaths came in short pants as he hooked a finger around the remaining strap. She heard the bra make a soft sound as it fell to the ground. She couldn't believe she was doing this. With him! It was what she wanted wasn't it? All her thoughts faded as he cupped her chin and brought her face up, his lips gently caressing hers. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Maybe it wasn't right, but it sure felt like it was and for once she was going to follow how she felt, rather than doing what she thought would be the right thing to do. ******************************* Gage felt his mouth drop open as Jennifer peeled her shirt off and dropped it to the ground. When she reached for the button of her jeans, he thought he was going to have a heart attack. He hadn't thought that she would be so bold, so ready to move things forward between them. Yes he wanted her, but he was surprised that it was going to happen so soon. He said her name and she teased him, daring him to join her. If that was what she wanted, he sure in the hell wasn't going to argue with her. He kept his eyes locked on her as she moved away and pulled her jeans off. In the darkness that was softly illuminated by the moonlight, he could make out the lines of her body, the curve of a hip. Standing, he watched her turn to look at him. Reaching down he pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the ground. He stared at her, trying not to smile. She was standing completely still, clad in only her underwear. He decided it was time for him to take charge of the situation. She had called his bluff and then some, now he was going to throw his cards on the table and see if she would up the bid. Reaching down, he undid the button of his jeans. Unzipping them, he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and off along with the jeans. He got the reaction he was looking for. Walking toward her, he could tell she was trying to not stare at him or specifically a certain part of his anatomy. He always loved the first time with any woman he had been with. The excitement of seeing them exposed, the way they would look at him, appraising him like he was a side of beef they were buying at the market. Jennifer seemed more timid, more reserved. He had to remember that she probably wasn't all that experienced and the fact that it was him would make things different as well. Standing directly in front of her, he urged her to join him. She hesitated, then began to undo her bra with agonizing slowness. Again he wasn't use to it being like this. Lately it seemed the woman he had been with had grown more aggressive, ready to screw at the drop of a hat. Jennifer's hesitation was driving him crazy. Running a finger under the remaining bra strap, he pulled the flimsy material away and let it drop to the ground. Taking her chin, he drew her toward him, kissing her lips gently. Then Jennifer made the kiss more demanding, sexier. He drew her tongue into his mouth as her arms wrapped themselves tightly around his neck. Sliding his hands down the curve of her back, he cupped her ass, pulling her tightly against him, letting her know exactly how much he wanted her. He trailed kisses down her neck as Jennifer skimmed her hands down his back barely touching him. When he nibbled at the nape of her neck, she dug her fingers into his back. Gasping, he jerked away from her, the pain causing stars to appear before his eyes. Jennifer almost fell to the ground as he had pushed her roughly away. Arching his back, he took deep breaths as he waited for the pain to subside. Jennifer rushed over to him, wanting to comfort him, but at the same time afraid to touch him. "Johnny...I'm sorry! I forgot! Damn. I'm sooo sorry." Leaning forward, he rested his hands on his thighs and tried to relax. "It's okay Jen, you're not the only one who forgot." She looked at his back, noticing the dark bruises that mottled his skin. Making sure he wasn't paying attention to what she was doing, she leaning back slightly to get a better look at his ass. She couldn't help smirking. It was just as cute naked as it was in tight fitting denim. "Jen!" Gage's voice was indignant as he straightened and turned to look at her. "I can't believe you. Here I am, in great pain mind you, and you're checkin' out my butt!." She smiled, then let her eyes drop downward. "Wellll..." Gage crossed his arms and looked pointedly at her breasts, which she promptly covered by crossing her arms. She stuck her tongue out at him, then walked away, keeping the image of his body in her mind's eye. Grabbing her jeans from the ground, she shook them out and began pulling them on, frowning as the sand rubbed against her skin. Picking up Gage's jeans she walked over and held them out to him. He took them from her and smiled as she quickly turned away after looking downward again. She found both their shirts and pulled hers on. Walking back to Gage, she held onto his shirt until he got his jeans zipped and buttoned. He looked out at the ocean and sighed. "Well, so much for swimming." Handing him his shirt she couldn't help feeling both relieved and disappointed. "We can always come back when you're all better." She smiled at him, watching his hands as they tucked the shirt in. When he buttoned his jeans, she vowed to herself that they had to come back here some time to finish what they had started. Reaching down, she plucked the bra and sandals up, clutching them tightly in her hands. She really did want to do it with him. The not knowing what it was all about, the wanting to know him in a way that seemingly hundreds of other women had, it irritated her to no end. With a disappointed sigh, she took his outstretched hand and followed him back to the restaurant parking lot, into the Rover and then they headed back home. ******************************* Pulling the Rover up to the DeSoto's, Gage reluctantly left the motor running. He wasn't about to go into the house and let Roy and Joanne see him in damp sand covered clothing. He knew they would get the wrong idea and freak out on him. Jennifer had voiced the same thoughts on their way to the house and between the two of them it was decided that it would be easier for her to 'sneak in' and go to bed. He could see that she was a reluctant to go. Hell, he didn't want her to go! He would have rather taken her back to his place and made love to her all night. Then his thoughts turned to the next day and all ideas of love disappeared. They had funerals to attend. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon." Jennifer looked down at her lap, feeling guilt and shame. Here she was contemplating how she could get him to make out with her in the Rover and he was thinking about the funerals. She had forgotten all about them. How could she have been thinking what she was thinking when there were two fireman that were to be buried the next day? Two men that could have easily been her dad and the man sitting beside her. "I'll be there. I have to work, but they understand...I'll get there as soon as possible. I have to make the service." Leaning across the seat she gave Gage a subdued good night kiss. Getting out, she made her way up the front walk. Waving to him from the door, she watched as the Rover pulled away from the curb and quickly disappeared into the night. Walking into the house, she closed the door, relieved to find no one waiting for her. Tip toeing her way up to the bathroom, she quickly disrobed and showered, happy to get the sandy grit off of her skin. She started giggling as she thought of where the sand would have gone if she and Gage had gotten to the point of making love on the beach. Her giggling faded and she admonished herself. Five minutes hadn't gone by and she had already forgotten about the funerals again. Depositing her clothes in the hamper, she quickly dried off and made her way to her room. What in the hell was the matter with her? How could she be thinking the things she was thinking at a time like this? Snatching her personal journal from it's new hiding place, she quickly wrote down her thoughts and feelings before laying back and slipping into a restless slumber. ******************************* Standing in front of the mirror, Gage wondered for the ninth time if he should have gotten his hair trimmed. Placing the hat on his head, he frowned. Adjusting it several times, he sighed in frustration before taking the hat and flinging it across the room. He hated wearing his uniform hat. They had told him over and over again that it was the right size, but no matter how many times he wore it, he knew it didn't fit right and today he wanted to look his best. He had too. His eyes went to the newspaper that lay folded on the bed. There had been an article in the back pages covering the warehouse fire. Small words that meant virtually nothing to him. The reporter could have gone on forever about the bravery of Donny and Steve, but what good would it have done? Nothing would bring the two men back to life. They would have to be remembered through the actions of others. He would be one of many who would make sure the two fallen comrades were never forgotten. Bringing a leg up, he quickly repolished a shoe, then he walked over and picked the hat up, tucking it under his arm. As he made his way out of the room and down the stairs, he listened to the sounds around him. Or the lack of them. He could hear the birds outside, a breeze blowing through the leaves of the tree by one of the side windows, but it was still too quiet. Walking into the living room he looked around. Everything was tidy and neat, giving the appearance of a home more suited to a country magazine than that of a bachelor. He hated to admit it to himself, but he had become rather anal when it came to his house. Everything had a place. Everything was centered and neat. When in the hell had he become a neat freak? He knew he had too much time on his hands. Then his thoughts went to Jennifer. If they eventually did go beyond the dating stage she would make the house into a home. There would be a family here instead of one person rambling about in a big empty house. He could easily picture himself playing with his own children in this room the same way he had when Jennifer and Chris were little. Walking over to the fireplace he looked at a photo resting on the mantel. Chris was in his turnouts standing between himself and Roy. He remembered running to his locker, grabbing his camera and shoving it into Chet's hands, asking him to take the picture. Chris had been substituting for Marco for some reason or another and they had just returned to the station after a run. It wasn't every day that all three of them got to work together and he didn't know when it would happen again. Chris and Roy had hemmed and hawed for a few minutes before letting Chet snap the photo. He still hadn't gotten a chance to see how Chris had taken the news of him and Jennifer being together. Roy and Joanne hadn't mentioned anything and Jennifer hadn't said a peep about what Chris thought. Maybe he didn't care. It would be nice if he would be one of the few people to accept them without any problem. He'd find out today. Chris would be at the DeSoto's. They were all going as a large group to the church for the funeral mass. The families had agreed to have Donny and Steve's services together, then Donny would be taken to his family plot, while Steve's ashes would remain with his family to be taken back home with them. Gage grimaced as he thought of an urn resting on his mantel. How would he feel if it were him burying a son? What type of agony would it be for Steve's parents to see the brass container, day after day, year after year, knowing that their son's ashes were in it? Turning away from the fireplace, he made his way out of the house and hopped into the Rover. Tossing the hat on the seat beside him, he drove to the DeSoto's, his mind playing over the explosion and the deaths of Donny and Steve. Tightly gripping the steering wheel, he tried to block out the sound of Donny's screams of agony. Why couldn't he have died like Steve? Quickly, without ever knowing what had happened. Why did he have to suffer through the horror that he did before finally dying? He hoped that when his time came it would be quick. The idea of being pinned beneath flames, his skin and flesh slowly burning away...he shuddered and rolled the window down taking deep gulping breaths. He had to stop thinking about it or he would drive himself up a wall. Making a mental note, he knew he'd have to make an appointment with the departmental psychiatrist. As much as he hated seeing the guy, he knew he needed to talk to someone and he knew it couldn't be Roy or anyone he was friends with. It just wasn't the same. Before he knew it he was standing in front of the DeSoto's home ringing the doorbell. He could hear the quiet murmur of voices coming from inside. The cars lined up along the street gleamed brightly from being washed and polished. He smiled slightly at the sight. It was strange how people immersed themselves in cleaning and cooking when it came time to bury someone. It was as if they were desperately trying to do normal everyday things to prove to themselves that they were still alive. The door opened and Chris stood before him. Gage couldn't read the emotions on the younger man's face, but was relieved when Chris ushered him in without causing a scene. "Dad, Uncle Johnny's here!" Chris gave him a thoughtful look, then turned away without saying another word and walked out of the room. continue