Say Uncle by Icecat62 The mattress beneath his back was soft. Too soft. It was then that he remembered that he wasn't in his own bed. Keeping his eyes closed, he mentally berated himself. He had done it again. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar bedroom. Lace curtains hung in the windows and a large dresser with perfumes and makeup were to his right. He could feel the heat of a body next to him. Rolling over, he cringed. She was a bit too young. She had to be barely twenty-three...if he were lucky. He hadn't bothered to ask her age. Hell, he hadn't asked her much of anything; all he remembered was seeing her. Seeing the resemblance. That's all it took. Even at the age of thirty-eight he could still charm them with a few words and a smile. The girl hadn't bothered to ask how old he was either. She had smiled at him, hung on to his every word. It was a game he had been playing for years and he knew she was playing it too. They both knew what they were doing. They both knew what they wanted and didn't care about tomorrow. The feel of her, the way she had clung to him, her taste...it had managed to block out the reason why he was with her. Now that it was over, it all came back to him. Curling a finger through the girl's long blond hair, he frowned. It wasn't as soft as hers. Not as golden. No matter how hard he searched, he could never find a woman to replace her. He'd tried, God how he'd tried, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't find someone to take the place of a woman who he had never even been with. How could he replace something he never had? That was his dilemma. If he had what he wanted, he knew it wouldn't be like this. It wouldn't be a one night stand of frenzied sex. It would be forever...and that's what scared him the most. Pushing the sheet back, he slowly sat up, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. He was getting too old for this. He was tired of playing games; he was tired of avoiding the reason for all of this. All he wanted to do was resolve it, but he knew that if he tried, he would end up losing things. Things that mattered the most to him. Things that would kill him if they were lost. Standing, he quietly dressed. Pulling on his jeans, he looked down at the sleeping figure that he had used to replace her. He felt the familiar sorrow and guilt growing in the pit of his stomach. Pushing it aside, he glanced at the digital clock on the dresser by the bed. It was four-thirty. It would give him enough time to get home, shower and then get to the station. As he buttoned his shirt, the girl woke up and gave him a sleepy smile. "You going home?" "Um...yeah...I have to be at work in a couple hours." "Oh. Well...last night...it was nice. If you want..." She paused and gave him a strange look before shaking her head and wistfully smiling at him. "How about I call you some time. Maybe we could go out to a movie or something." Looking into her eyes, he gave her a grateful smile. She knew that she wasn't the one. She knew and she was letting him off the hook by leaving it up to her to call him. He knew he'd never hear from her again. "Yeah...that sounds good." Buckling his belt, he moved over to the bed and ran a hand gently through her hair. Leaning down, he gave her a kiss that was almost chaste compared to the ones that they had shared only a few short hours before. Without saying another word, he grabbed his keys from the dresser and left the room. He felt relieved as he made his way out of the house and to the old Land Rover parked in the driveway. No strings attached, no complications, just the empty hole in his soul that needed to be filled. ******************************* "John. John. Gage!" His head snapped up from the magazine he was staring at. Chet was standing over him giving him an annoyed look. "What is wrong with you? Did that knock on your head leave you deaf or what?" Frowning at Chet, he stood up and tossed the magazine he had been looking at down on the table. "I was thinking. Can't a man think without gettin' yelled at?" Chet smiled sweetly. "If the man were capable of thinking that would be different." "Oh grow up Chet." "Nice come back John. You got anything better than that?" Pushing past the shorter man, Gage walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself another cup. It was his third cup so far and he still didn't feel wide awake. It used to be he could survive on two or three hours sleep with no problem, but he had to admit to himself that he wasn't exactly a kid any more. Staring at the cup in his hand, he could feel the nagging depression latch onto him again. He had to do something soon or it would too late. She'd be gone and he'd be alone without ever knowing if they could have made it work. Chet's voice buzzed at his ear again. In a whiny irritated voice, Gage spun around and glared at him. "What do you want?!" Chet took a step back from him. "Ya' know what grouchy, you need to quit staying out so late on work nights." "And you need to quit buggin' me." "Now come on John, if I didn't bug you, how would you ever know that I still cared about you?" Chet batted his eyes and smiled at him, backing further away when Gage took a menacing step forward. "Relax! All I wanted to know is, are you still going to the picnic?" Gage stopped and thought for a minute. The annual fireman's picnic was on Saturday. Did he switch shifts with Davies or did he forget and let Thompson have the slot? Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, he frowned. "I don't know. I think I switched my schedule." Chet looked at Gage like he was nuts. "Well, you better have remembered or Roy'll be pissed at you. He went to a lot of trouble getting everything arranged and if you don't show up...well I wouldn't want to be in your shoes." Chet moved even closer to him, lowering his voice. He looked pointedly at Gage. "It's not every day that Jennifer turns 'twenty-one' you know." Gage froze. He didn't like the look that Chet was giving him or the tone of voice he was using. He hadn't slipped up some how had he? How in the hell would Chet even know how he felt? He glared at him again and walked past him and headed for his locker. He listened to Chet's footsteps following him. Yanking his locker open, he ran a finger down the paper taped to the door. He had Saturday off. He didn't screw it up. Breathing a sigh of relief, he tapped the faded picture of Smoky the Bear before shutting the locker. He smiled smugly at Chet. "I remembered." Chet was still giving him the willies by the way he was looking at him. "Did you buy Jennifer her present yet?" He gave Chet a wary look. "Yeah...I bought it a couple of weeks ago." "What did you get her?" "Huh?" "You are deaf. I said, what...did...you...get...her." "It's none of your damn business!" As he went to turn and leave, Chet grabbed him by the arm. Shaking him off he glared down at him. "Chet will you leave me alone!" "You're going to have to do something about it sooner or later John." He felt a chill run down his spine again. Chet knew. Some how he knew. He opened his mouth to begin his denial, but Chet cut him off. "I know how you feel about her, Johnny." Gage gave Chet a deer caught in the headlights look. He called him Johnny. Not John, not Gage...Johnny. This was Chester B. being dead serious. It wasn't something he was use to. Chet used Gage's shock to continue talking. "It kind of surprised me when I figured it out." He smirked slightly. "To be honest, it really grossed me out at first." Gage glared at him and Chet held his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Come on, be honest with yourself. It is kind of...weird." "Chet...you...I should..." "Just hold on a sec, I'm not done." Gage closed his mouth, gripping the mug of coffee tightly in his hand, waiting for Chet to insult him again. Instead, he was surprised once more. "You should tell her how you feel. She feels the same way." Gage gave Chet an uneasy look. If he said anything to agree or question how Jennifer felt, it would be admitting how he felt. What if Chet were only baiting him to find out his feelings? What if he was going to use this to torture him like he always did? Looking into Chet's eyes, he saw nothing but sincerity. Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. It was do or die. "How do you know how she feels?" The maniacal triumphant laughter he was expecting never came. "I've watched her watching you." "She watches me doing what?" Chet grinned. "Anything and everything. She's been keeping an eye on you ever since she turned fourteen and you...you've been eyeing her since she turned seventeen." Gage could feel his face turning red. "I have not!" "Yes you have John." Chet smiled at him and shook his head. "While you two have been watching one another, I've been following it every step of the way." Gage flopped down on the bench in front of his locker. Setting the mug of coffee down beside him, he ran a hand nervously through his hair. Looking back up at Chet, he gave him a worried frown. "Have I been that obvious?" His eyes widened in fear. "Does Roy know?!" Chet laughed. "Calm down John. Do you think if Roy knew he'd still be friends with you? Beside if he knew he would have shipped Jennifer off to a private school some where to keep her away from you." "Very funny." Chet shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I'm only telling the truth. Jennifer will be the easy one to talk to, it's Roy that you're going to have to convince. You know he's going to freak when he finds out about you two." Gage placed a hand on his chest, his voice getting loud. "There isn't...I haven't even said anything to her yet! How can he get mad about that?!" "Who's getting mad?" Both Chet and Gage's heads snapped to look at Roy standing at the entrance of the locker room. Chet then looked at Gage, nodding his head slightly he mouthed, go ahead. Gage shook his head no, then smiled nervously at Roy. "Uh...no one...Chet and I were just talking...about the picnic." "Yeah, I said that you would have gotten mad if he hadn't remembered to take Saturday off. We came in here to check out his schedule." Roy stared at Gage, his voice rising slightly. "You didn't forget did you?!" "No! I remembered...see!" He jumped up, opened his locker and pointed at the date. It clearly showed that he had the day off. Roy relaxed and smiled. "It's a good thing you did remember or Jennifer would have been really upset. After all you are her favorite uncle." Chet smiled at Gage. "Yeah John, you are her favorite. There's no one else that she likes better than you." Gage gritted his teeth. He knew what Chet was doing and he wasn't prepared to tell Roy. Not now. Looking at Roy, he didn't know if he could ever say anything to him about it period. The fear of losing his friendship over all of this weighed heavily on his mind. The only problem was now that he knew that Jennifer felt the same about him as he did about her...he couldn't avoid any of it. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. He'd first see how things went with Jennifer and then he'd talk to Roy. Why cause a stink before it was necessary? Roy gave Chet a curious look then shook his head. Between Chet and Gage, he didn't know which of the two were more bizarre at times. "Come on Junior, we need to go to Rampart to pick up some supplies." "Okay." Roy turned and left the room and Gage shut his locker. Chet stood smiling at Gage. "Are you going to tell him on the way over?" "No!" "When are you going to tell him?" "I...look I'll tell him...when I tell him." "Oh that's really smart." "Just shut up Chet." He pointed a finger at him. "And don't tell any one, okay?" "Whatever. You're the one that's going to have to suffer the consequences not me." Gage quickly turned away from Chet and jogged out to the squad. As he slid into the passenger side, he immediately tensed up. How in the hell was he ever going to talk to his partner about this? He was a trusted family member as far as the rest of the DeSotos were concerned. How were any of them going to react to how he felt about Jennifer? His heart skipped a beat as he thought of Roy, Chris and Joanne hating him. Then he thought of talking to Jennifer about how he felt and his heart began to race. Rubbing his sweaty palms along his thighs, he took a deep breath and tried to relax. Chet said that she cared about him. She watched him all the time. Caring and watching someone was a hell of a big difference than loving them. Did he really want to take a chance and risk everything he had, just to find out if she loved him? He looked out the side window, avoiding any eye contact with Roy as they drove to Rampart. He had to do this. He had to finally know. It was better than letting something wonderful slip through his fingers because he was a coward. Like it or not, his relationship with Roy was about to change. Or it would end. He'd know by Saturday. Two more days and all his questions would be answered. All his dreams realized or shattered. Until then, he'd have to try and act as normal as possible. Turning to Roy, he began a conversation about the picnic, while another part of his brain thought of what he would say to Jennifer. ******************************* Taking slow shallow breaths, Gage sat in the Rover trying to stop himself from hyperventilating. Cupping his hands together, he breathed in them, knowing that if he didn't gain some self control, he'd make a complete fool of himself. He was supposed to be calm. He was an adult not some pimply faced teenager getting ready to ask a girl to the prom. Why in the hell was he so damned nervous? Leaning back he stared out the windshield watching all of the people as they made their way to the park. Today was the day that his life would be changed forever. Chet had reassured him several times over the past two days that he wasn't yanking his chain when it came to Jennifer. His words echoed repeatedly in his mind. "John, this is Jennifer DeSoto I'm talking about, not one of the nurses at Rampart. Do you think I'd ever do anything to hurt her? Give me some credit." Placing his hand on the door, he pushed it open and stepped out. It was a beautiful day. Perfect. He felt like he was going to throw up. Making his way around the truck, he opened the back and pulled out a cooler. Grabbing a baseball cap, he folded it over and tucked it in a back pocket of the worn out jeans he had on. Pulling out his baseball glove and a bat, he shoved them under an arm and closed the hatch. Grabbing the cooler he began the long trek up the hill to the section of pavilions where all the firemen and their families were gathering. The closer he got to them, the more his head pounded. The small headache that had been nagging at him since the explosion at a rescue they had three days ago, now thumped in his head like a kettle drum beating a heavy rhythm. His throat constricted as he saw her. She stood at the end of one of the pavilions chatting with her mother. Her long blond hair gleamed in the summer sun like brushed gold. With each step toward her, his chest tightened in fear. What if Chet was wrong? He'd look like a complete ass, worse yet, he'd look like some pervert. When she turned his way, a bright smile lit up her face. She moved away from her mother and began running up to him, just like she had a thousand times before. He quickly dropped everything he was carrying, knowing what was coming. She jumped up and threw herself into his arms, laughing as he caught her and spun her around in a circle. Her arms clung tightly around his neck and she kissed him on the cheek. Just as he was about to release her, she whispered in his ear. "I'm glad you're here Johnny." Letting her slide down his body, he looked down at her, the smile on his face growing bigger. She had called him Johnny, not Uncle Johnny. Leaning down he kissed her on the cheek. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. It's not every day that my little princess turns twenty-one." She gave him a nervous look and let her hands drop from around his neck. Toeing the dirt beneath her feet, she tried to smile. "Yeah...I guess I'm always going to be a little princess to you aren't I?" His breath caught in his throat. Chet was right. There was no mistaking the sound of disappointment in her voice. Taking a deep breath, he began what he hoped would be the start of something wonderful for them both. "Jennifer...we need to talkI..." He quickly shut his mouth as Joanne walked over to them. Jennifer turned around and leaned against him, her hand seeking his. No one would think anything of it. She was his little princess, he was her protector. "I was wondering what was keeping you, Johnny. Usually you're the first one out here." He could feel Joanne's eyes raking over him, looking for something. Or maybe it was his guilt playing tricks with his mind. Pushing aside his nervousness, he tightened his grip on Jennifer's hand, giving it a light squeeze. "Yeah, I'm sorry about bein' late. I got stuck in traffic." He reluctantly let go of Jennifer's hand. As he bent down to retrieve his dropped bat and glove, Jennifer grabbed them before he did, flashing him a bright smile. "I've got them Uncle Johnny." "Thanks Jenny." Picking the cooler up, he followed them to the pavilion and dropped the cooler down beside several others. Joanne was still looking at him funny. "Jen, why don't you go and see if Chris needs a hand with setting up the tables." "Okay Mom. I'll talk to you later Uncle Johnny." "Sure Jen." She smiled at him again and quickly trotted away. He couldn't help watching her as her hair shimmered and bounced with each step she took. He could feel Joanne's eyes still on him. Turning to  her, he tried to wipe all of his feelings for Jennifer from his face. "Do you need me to do anything?" She was looking at him. He knew that look. It was the one she gave the kids when she knew they were up to no good. "No Johnny, I think we have things almost ready. Why don't you go find the other guys and see what they're going to do." "Sure Jo...thanks." Making his way around tables and people, he finally found the person he was looking for. He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but failed miserably. "Chet...she knows." Chet looked up at him and grinned. "Of course she knows, I told you she liked you." "No you dolt, I'm talking about Joanne." Chet's eyes grew big. "You told her?" "What?! No, do you think I'm stupid?" Chet smirked at him. "Ha, ha. Very funny. No, I didn't tell her, she just keeps lookin' at me with that look." "What look?" "You know...the look she gives Roy when she knows he's hiding something from her." "Oooohhh. 'That' look." Chet frowned. "You're in trouble then." Chet drew a beer from the keg next to them and handed it to Gage. he spotted Joanne staring over at them. "Don't look now John, but Jo's watching you like a hawk." Gage turned around. Chet's voice hissed at him. "I told you not to look!" Catching Joanne's eye, Gage gave her a bright smile and waved to her. She looked confused at first, then she smirked as she waved back at him and shook her head as she turned away. Turning back to face Chet, he blew out a breath in relief. Chet stared at him in amazement. "How did you do that?" Gage took a big swig of beer and swallowed it. "Do what?" "What you just did. She was real suspicious and now she's blowing it off like there's nothing wrong." Gage shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." Shaking his head, Chet took a sip of his beer. "So when are you going to talk to her?" "Who? Joanne?" Chet made an exasperated face. "No you dummy, Jennifer!" "Sssssshhh! Man, keep your voice down!" Chet frowned at Gage as he remained silent. "You're chickening out aren't you?" "No, I'm just thinkin'." "Don't think, just do. When you think you mess up." "Chet." "No, I serious. You do your best work when you're running on instinct. Believe me, I've seen you in action. Just go and talk to her." "Now?" Taking Gage's beer from him, he motioned him away. "Now." Just as he was about to go, he frowned at Chet. "Why are you doing this?" "Seriously?" "Yeah." "You really want to know?" "Yes!" "Okay, okay, calm down!" Chet grinned at him. "If you don't get married soon and have some kids, how are my kids going to have a pigeon to play pranks on?" Gage stared back at Chet. "You're a real jerk, you know that don't you?" "John, quit stalling and go talk to her before some young guy gets to her." "Shut up!" Turning away from Chet, Gage made is way across the pavilion feeling people staring at him. A few men snickered. He knew that they had no idea what he and Chet had been discussing. They all probably figured Chet was tormenting him like he always did. *Thanks Chester B.* As he walked out into the sunshine, he looked around trying to spot Jennifer in the crowd of people milling about. When he finally found her, he cursed under his breath. It was just his luck. She was standing next to Roy as he flipped burgers on a grill. There was no way in hell he was going to even attempt talking to her now. It would have to wait until after lunch. Lunch came and went and every time he began to even think about talking to Jennifer, she would be with either Roy or Joanne. It had to be a conspiracy of some kind. Sighing, he tossed his plate of half eaten food in the trash. Looking around he finally thought he would have a chance to talk to her. She was by herself clearing a table. Just as he went to walk over to her, a man walked up to her and took the plates she was holding out of her hands. Squinting, he tried to place the man's name. He knew he was from Station 110. A new guy. A very 'young' guy. He watched her from a distance as she talked with him. To his relief she looked bored. She looked up and caught him staring at her. Smiling, he made a face and gestured behind the man's back. When she started laughing he knew he had nothing to worry about. She looked away from him and said something to the guy and then she walked quickly away. He watched as the younger man followed her with his eyes. Something he hadn't expected flared up within him, making his chest tighten. It had been years since he had felt the emotion when it came to a woman. Jealousy. He was jealous of someone other than himself talking to her. He didn't like the feeling. There was no reason to feel the way he did. He hadn't even told her how he felt. Maybe it was just him being over protective of her. She had been the one person that he had know in his life that had loved him unconditionally. From the first moment she had placed her small hand in his, he knew he would never have to be anything more than who he was. Walking through the pavilion, he finally saw an opening to talk with her. She was by herself, washing her hands under a faucet. Walking toward her, he took a deep breath, trying to think of the words that would start everything in motion. Suddenly he jerked to a stop as a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him off course. He glared at the person who had grabbed him. "Hey! What's the big...oh. Hi Marco." "Come on Johnny, the game's about to start!" "Okay, okay, just hold your horses. I'll be over in a minute." Marco jogged off. Turning back toward Jennifer, he cursed. "Damn it!" She had disappeared again. ******************************* Sitting in the dugout, Gage leaned back on the bench for a moment before he stood and grabbed his bat. He was getting frustrated by his inability to talk with Jennifer. He had to talk to her today. For some reason he felt that if he didn't, he'd never get another chance to. Walking to the batters box, he took a few swings to warm up. Stepping forward he stared at the pitcher who smirked at him. It was the guy from 110 that had been hitting on Jennifer. "Hey old man, you ready to strike out like the rest of the geezers?!" Gage narrowed his eyes in anger. Sure they were old. It was a running joke that the A shift at Station 51 was the old folks home for fireman. They had the longest running group that had stayed together at the station. They had grown older like a group of brothers. They were all family. He didn't mind the jokes, but coming from the new guy...it really pissed him off. Adjusting his stance, he watched the ball go over the plate. "Strike one Grandpa!" Digging his heals in deeper into the dirt beneath his feet, Gage smiled thinly back at the boy. Roy smiled at Chet in the dugout. Chet smirked back. "Home run?" "Yeah...I think he's got Johnny a bit 'irritated'." Marco and Mike snickered and Cap shook his head. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when somebody called John, grandpa." Just as they were all about to break out laughing the pitch was thrown. Gage smiled as he watched the pitch coming toward him. It was perfect. Dead center, blazingly fast. His bat connected with a resound thwack. He knew it was going to go over the fence the moment he hit it. Instinct took over and he sprinted toward first base. As his foot connected with the base, he quickly sprinted toward second, then shifted gears into a slow jog as he heard his fellow teammates yelling the  word home run. As he trotted to third, he looked at the pitcher. Keeping his eyes locked with his, Gage slowed down even more. Just as he reached home plate, he took his cap off and tipped it at him. He received a glare in return. He couldn't resist. "I guess you can keep your place on the Little League team you're on...sonny!" With a satisfied smile, he made his way back toward the dugout. When he saw Jennifer standing by the fence, he instinctively trotted over to her. "Nice hit Johnny. I guess you showed him, huh?" "Yeah, I don't think he'll be so quick to count us old guys out any more." She frowned at him. "You're not old." He grinned back at her. "I'm not?" Her frown turned into a teasing smile. "Nope. You look the same as you did when Dad first brought you home to me." Her face turned red and she quickly looked down at her feet. Gage's smile grew wider. "Uh...I mean when dad first brought you home...to our house." He knew he couldn't talk to her now. Not here. "Jen, we need to talk. Can you meet me after the game, down by the Rover?" As she looked up, he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Her voice sounded so small and unsure. "Okay...okay Uncle Johnny." Cocking his head to the side, he looked at her face. She looked scared, like she had done something wrong. "Jenny, it's not what you think. I'm not mad at you." She gave him a confused look. "Jen, I..." A voice cut him off before he could tell her how he felt. "Come on John, we have a game to play!" He gritted his teeth in annoyance. It was Chet yelling at him. Chet was the one that told him to talk to Jennifer and now that he was, the guy was interfering. "Look Jenny, just meet me there, okay?" "Okay." She turned away from him and made her way into the stands. Jogging back to the dugout, Gage was met with high fives and slaps on the back. As he made his way down the bench, he noticed he also received a few funny looks. As he plopped down on the bench beside Roy, he could feel his partners eyes on him. When he heard his voice, he knew he was under the microscope again. Roy's voice was dry. "Nice hit Junior." He avoided looking at Roy and pretended that his laces were loose. Leaning down he retied them. "Thanks." He could feel the tension in Roy. He knew something was up. *Oh boy.* "So what did Jennifer want?" Sitting back up, he leaned against the wall behind him. "She wanted to congratulate me." Roy kept looking at him. It was more of a penetrating stare. Just as Roy opened his mouth to ask him something again, the umpire called for the third out. Jumping up, Gage grabbed his mitt and slapped Roy on the shoulder with it. "Come on Roy, let's go show 'em how to play ball." Gage watched Roy stand. He still had that look on his face, but it was fading. As he jogged onto the field, he knew he'd have to do a ton of talking in the next few hours. Some of it would be with Jennifer and some of it would be with Roy and Joanne. His stomach did a flip flop as he thought of what he would say to Roy. As he took his position behind home plate, he tried to think of only the game. At least he could enjoy that while he had the chance. ******************************* As he made his way through the handshake line, Gage scanned the crowd for any sign of Jennifer. He was so intent on looking for her, that he wouldn't have even noticed the insult aimed at him unless the man hadn't made a point of trying to squeeze the shit out of his hand. "You're not a bad player for an old man." Yanking his hand away, the words slipped from his mouth without a second thought. "Screw you, asshole." He felt a fist connect with his ribs. Bringing a hand up, he quickly grabbed his attacker's shirt and pulled him down to the ground. He was a bit surprised to find himself on top. It always seemed that whenever he became involved in an altercation, he always managed to be on the receiving end of a fight. *Well, it's about time I did some giving.* Placing two quick rabbit punches in his opponent's face, he then felt hands grab him from behind and pull him away. He heard people yelling. "What's wrong with you Johnny?!"  "Knock it off Greg!" So that was the gu'ys name. Greg. Shaking off what ended up being Roy's hold on his arm, he calmly dusted his jeans off. Roy stared at him in surprise. Chet and Marco were smiling, while Cap ran a hand over his face and shook his head. All he could think about was the report he'd have to file. Mike reached down and picked up Gage's baseball cap and handed it to him. Leaning forward, he kept his voice low. "Nice punch John." Gage grinned. "Thanks." His grin faded when he noticed the looks of disapproval that Roy and Cap shot his way. He pointed a finger at Greg who was being helped to his feet. "He started it!" Roy rolled his eyes, suppressing a smile. "You sound exactly like Chris, you know that don't you?" Turning away from Gage, Roy stepped toward Greg. "Let me have a look at your nose." Greg sniffed and wiped a trickle of blood off his upper lip. Glaring at Roy, he spun on his heal and walked away. Roy sighed and addressed another man. "Make sure he gets that checked out." "Sure Roy." Now that all the excitement had died down, Gage's thoughts immediately shifted back to Jennifer. What if she had seen what had happened? Closing his eyes, he felt like a complete jerk. He knew how much she hated fighting. She was always the one kid in the group that would do anything to stop a fight, even if it meant being a tattletale and running home to tell her mom about it. Looking around, he didn't see her. The relief flooded through him and was then replaced by nervousness. The butterflies took flight. It was time. She was probably ... hopefully ... waiting for him down by the Rover. Shoving the cap on his head, Gage jogged over to the bench, grabbed his glove and bat and made his way off the field. He heard Roy yelling at him. "Johnny!" He yelled back over his shoulder, hoping that Roy wouldn't follow him. "I'll be right back!" ******************************* Jogging down the hill, he made his way through the lot and toward his truck. He could see her leaning against the back of the vehicle. Her arms were crossed and her posture looked stiff. He slowed down to a walk, feeling like a man going to the electric chair. She had to have seen him fighting. How was he going to talk to her about there being a them, if he first had to explain to her why he had been in a fight? Gripping the bat tightly in his hand, he stepped around to the back of the truck. "Hi Princess." Jennifer turned and fixed him with a stony glare. He could tell that she was angry, but he also saw the hint of a smile on her lips. He had no way of knowing that she was trying not to smile because he looked too cute covered in dirt and with a guilty look on his face. Clearing her throat, she tried to stay serious. She knew that if she gave Gage an inch he'd take a yard. He knew how to work peoples' feelings, especially hers. She nodded her head in the direction of the ball field. "What was that all about?" Placing the glove in his hand on his chest, Gage's voice rose. "That guy Greg hit me, what did you expect me to do?!" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Walking away would be good. You know...turn the other cheek." He snorted. "Yeah, if I would've turned the other cheek, he would've hit it." They stood silently looking at one another. He made the first move. Taking his keys out, he opened the hatch of the Rover and tossed his cap, bat and glove in. Reaching down, he pulled a small box out. It was wrapped in colorful paper, with a bright blue ribbon tied around it. Shutting the hatch, he looked nervously down at the box in his hands. Looking back up, he noticed there were too many people around. He wanted this to be private. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" She looked around them and hugged her arms to her chest. She suddenly felt like she was going to cry. This was the 'talk' that she knew was coming. He had guessed that she had a crush on him and now he was going to let her down easy. Biting her lip to keep from crying she silently nodded her head yes. As he placed a hand on her back and directed her toward a cove of trees, she looked at him. His expression was serious, but at the same time fearful. She knew she was right. Gage would never do anything to hurt her, but she knew he was going to tell her that he was too old for her. He was her uncle and there would never be a chance in hell of there ever being anything between them. Each step felt like a nail in her coffin. Leaning against a tree, she looked down at the ground. She didn't want to let him see the pain in her eyes and worse yet, she didn't want to start crying before he even had the chance to blow her off. "Jennifer...I've been wanting to tell you this for some time, but..." He stopped and swallowed, nervously running a hand through his hair. "What I'm tryin' to say is..." He took a deep breath. When she looked up at him, she was surprised to see his face tinged red with embarrassment. He wiped a hand over his face and took another deep breath. "This is harder than I thought it would be." "It's okay Joh...Uncle Johnny. I know what you're going to say. I don't think you're right...but I can't change your mind. I just thought...I thought that you and I..." Her voice quivered and she looked away from him. Tears filled her eyes. Sniffling, she wiped an angry hand across her face. She wasn't a baby! She wouldn't stand there and cry like some stupid little girl. Raising her head, she looked him in the eye. "I know you think I'm nothing more than your little princess, but I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a woman. Maybe you don't think it's right, but I wanted...I wanted us to at least try..." Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she stood straighter. "I thought that maybe you and I could...I thought...oh hell!" Gage stood looking at her opened mouthed. Chet had been right. Jennifer did care about him. "John Gage, maybe you need to grow up. Maybe you need to stop seeing me as little Jenny and start looking at me like Jennifer DeSoto. I'm not a little girl and I'm not a little princess! What have you got to say about that?!" ******************************* Gage could only stare at Jennifer. He was dumbfounded. This was his little Jenny lambasting him. She had never yelled at him like this before, but then again, they never had this type of thing come up in their relationship together. It had always been him and her agreeing on almost everything, whether it was on the color of crayon used to draw a horse or the flavor of ice cream on their cones. He felt a stupid grin spread across his face. She was mad as hell at him. She had no idea that he even had feelings for her. Adult feelings. Here she was standing before him, glaring with her lips pursed in anger all because of the emotions that he had elicited within her. No she wasn't his little princess any more and he sure in the hell wasn't going to complain about it. As far as he was concerned, Uncle Johnny needed to be put on a shelf along with her collection of dolls. His finally found his voice. "You're right Jenny. You're not a little girl. You haven't been for some time now." Clearing his throat, he could feel himself becoming both embarrassed and elated at the same time. She would finally know how he felt. "I've been having problems...about you...being a little girl." Taking a step forward, he looked her straight in the eye. "I haven't exactly been thinking of you as a little girl for a long time." He could see the look of comprehension coming into her eyes. It was mingled with surprise. "You...you mean you...like me?" Taking a deep breath, he decided to take the plunge. If he was going to take the dive, he might as well go deep. "Jenny, I more than like you." He nervously shifted the box in his hands. "To be honest...I love you." There. He said it. Now he waited to see how she would respond. Jennifer stared at him, her mouth opening and closing, but no sounds were coming out. All of the anger that she had focused his way was gone. "Jen?" Her voice squeaked. "You 'love' me?" He knew it! He had made a mistake. A big mistake. He should have taken it slowly, going one step at a time, but in his usual fashion he had to dive right in and damn the consequences. He was almost forty years old and he still couldn't do things slowly like everyone else. He had blown it. She took a step forward, her eyes locked with his. "You love me?" He was about to look away and make an excuse and run off. Running from his problems had always worked in the past, but his feet remained rooted to the ground and he found he couldn't look away from her. "Yes." Before he could react, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. Her voice was muffled as she tucked her head against his chest. "I love you too." The emotions ran through him faster than he could process them. Surprise, elation, hope, worry and yes fear. Without even thinking, he hugged her tightly to him, reveling in the feel of the way her body molded to his. The feelings that he had for her were finally able to surface and block out everything else. Gone were the feelings of the love for a little girl. Yes, he still felt protective of her, but now the emotion was joined with the more adult feelings he had harbored for her these past few years. "Jenny, you don't know how long I've felt like this. It's been horrible." He felt her stiffen in his hold. She raised her head and gave him an unsure look. "Horrible?" Loosening his hold on her, he smirked. "Come on Jen, think about it. Here I am, your dad's best friend, 'your' uncle and I'm having these feelings for you that most people get called a pervert for. I don't know about you, but I've felt like...well I've been feeling kinda' bad about myself. Like I was doing something wrong." When she smiled up at him, he could feel his heart begin to race. She understood. Reaching a hand up, she traced the Station 51 emblem on his t-shirt as she spoke. "How do you think I felt? Every time Dad would bring you over, I'd start gawking at you. Do you know what it's like to have seen you all the time, sat in your lap and wished the good night kiss you just gave me would be on the lips and not the cheek? I felt...I don't know...cheap. Trashy. All my friends were dating guys their own age and here I was lusting after my 'Uncle' Johnny." He gave her a surprised look. He hadn't expected to hear her talk like that. She noticed right away how flustered he appeared. "Be honest with yourself. I know you. You haven't exactly lived the life of a monk. I've seen the women you've gone out with and I've heard some of the stories about you." Gage's brow knitted in curiosity. "What stories?!" She snickered and shook her head no. "No way. I'm not going to tell you what I've heard. Let's just say...you've got a colorful background." "Well don't believe everything you've heard about me." She stared into his eyes and smiled. "I won't believe all of the stories, but I'm hoping some of them are true." He cold feel his face burning as he realized that she was insinuating things. His little Jennifer was coming onto him. She wasn't the innocent that she appeared to be. He felt disappointed on one level, knowing that she was already experienced, but the larger part of him felt relief. He hadn't wanted to go into their relationship knowing that she was still 'pure'. He wouldn't have to worry about the massive amount of guilt he would feel for being the one to take that away from her. Holding her tighter, he smirked. "Which 'rumors' do you hope are true?" She gave him a teasing smile, looking quickly around them. He found himself looking around as well. He had forgotten that they were still at the picnic and there was a chance of them being caught like this together. He relaxed when he saw that no one was near them. She still wore a smile as she looked back up at him. "Well, I've heard you're a pretty good kisser. I know how it feels to get kissed on the cheek by you, but..." Chuckling, he shook his head in amazement. "Well, I don't know Jenny. Sometimes things you hear are all nothing more than talk." "Then prove them right...or wrong. Let me be the judge." He watched as her cheeks began to turn a rosy pink. She may have been talking the talk with him, but walking the path was another thing. "I don't know Jenny. I think we should take things slow. Real slow." She frowned at him. "A kiss 'is' slow. It's turtle paced. It's not like I'm asking you to do anything else." Now it was his turn to grow embarrassed. Biting his tongue, he looked down at her, trying to decide if he should take this step already. It was going to be torture, sheer torture, trying to hold back with her. He had wanted this for so long and now that it had finally happened, he found himself wanting all of her. Now. *Just hold your horse's John. There's no rush. You've waited this long, you can wait a lot longer.* Without saying anything, he leaned down and brushed his lips lightly across hers. The touch didn't send flashes of electricity down his spine nor did he find himself floating on air. It felt comfortable. Familiar. Like it was something entirely natural and normal for them to be doing. He looked at her, knowing that this was only one kiss out of a thousand that they would share. He might as well start on number two. ******************************* "I swear to God, I'm going to get that jerk back. Who in the hell does he think he is anyway?!" "Just drop it Greg." "Drop it? Why should I?" Greg fingered his nose and winced. "I think my nose is broken." "Here, let me look at it." The two men stopped walking. Greg tilted his head back while his partner checked his nose. "Nah, it's not broken." Greg fingered his nose again. "He's lucky. If my nose were broken, I'd ..." "Greg, drop it! You started it, what did you expect the guy to do? Take your shit and be quiet? For one thing that's Gage we're talking about. He doesn't know the meaning of the word quiet. Two, you pushed him. Why'd you have to go and do that anyway, the game was over." Greg ignored him and began walking, then he abruptly stopped. "Helllooo, what have we got here?" Greg looked through the trees and watched as Gage kissed Jennifer, startled to see her responding in kind. "Man that is gross! What in the hell does she see in that old geezer?!" Greg looked at his partner who was standing with his mouth open. "Joe...Joe...what's the matter?" Joe's voice was a whisper. "Holy shit." Greg gave him a funny look, then turned to look at Gage and Jennifer. The pair were still locked together, their kiss deepening. Greg made a gagging noise and turned back to Joe. "Okay Joe, what's her name? I know she's one of the firemen's daughters. I saw her earlier cleaning up one of the pavilions." Joe shut his mouth and went to turn away. Greg grabbed him by the arm and held him tightly in place. "Spill it. Who is she?" Joe looked nervous. "I don't believe it. If I hadn't seen it, I'd never believe it." "Joe!" "Okay, but...promise me you won't tell any one." "Who is she?" Joe glanced back at Gage and Jennifer who had stopped kissing, but were still holding one another. Running a hand through his hair, Joe lowered his voice. "She's Jennifer DeSoto." "DeSoto...that name sounds familiar..." Greg's confused face quickly changed to one of disbelief. "No. No way!" He looked back at Gage and Jennifer and smiled coldly. "You have got to be kidding me! The old guy is making time with his partner's daughter? That is sick!" His smile grew wider. "I wonder if daddy knows what his best bud is doing?" Joe flashed him a panicky look. "Don't! You promised..." "I didn't promise anything. I think dad needs to know what his little girl and partner are up to." "Greg, don't go and start trouble. We don't know if they're seeing each other." Greg began walking back up the hill toward the pavilion where the families of Station 51 were gathered. He snorted and laughed. "They may not be seeing each other, but ten to one, I bet that old guy is banging her." Joe made a disgusted face at him. "Gage would never do something like that." "Oh yeah? What did you just see? I bet he had his tongue so far down her throat he could touch her tonsils." "Greg, don't do this." "Hey, it's not my fault. Maybe that old dork down there should think twice about hitting people he doesn't know. You never know what that person might do to get back at you." Greg continued walking while Joe stopped and watched his retreating figure. One part of him wanted to watch what was going to happen, while another part was scared to death at what he would see. It was almost like going on a run. You never knew what could be waiting for you. He walked slowly, following Greg. He had to see how DeSoto reacted to the new. And big news it was. ******************************* "Joanne, have you seen Jennifer? It's almost time to do the cake and presents." Joanne looked up from the table that she was clearing. She didn't know what to say. She had seen Jennifer walk down the hill and then she had watched Gage go in the same direction that she did. There was something going on between the two of them. She had watched her daughter all day. There was no mistaking that look in her eyes. She had also made a point of watching Gage as well. He was acting...weird? No, not weird. Cagey. Like he was hiding something. She sighed and looked at the napkins in her hand. It was strange in a way. She had watched her daughter grow up from a little girl into a beautiful young woman. She had also watched Gage grow in a sense. He was only a year or two older than Jennifer was now when Roy had first introduced him to the family. Nothing more than a boy in man's clothing. Now, for some reason, she had the niggling thought that the reasons for them both acting the way they were, was because of their feelings for each other. Feeling that she knew weren't those of a niece for her uncle and visa versa. She should have been disgusted by what she was seeing happen, but she knew she couldn't stop it. To be honest with herself, she had seen it coming for years. She had caught her daughter mooning over the dark haired paramedic, turning down date after date. No one was ever good enough and she knew it was because they weren't him. Roy's voice cut into her thoughts. "Honey?" She looked up at Roy and smiled. "I'm sorry. I was thinking." "About what?" Sitting down at a picnic table, she patted the space beside her. Sitting next to her, Roy looked expectantly at her. Joanne felt guilty. It was like she was betraying her daughter, but she figured she'd better prepare her husband for the possibility of a shock. She took a deep breath. "Do you remember Beth?" Roy gave her a confused look. "Huh?" "Beth. Johnny's girlfriend last year...the one he almost married?" Roy still looked confused. "Yes." Joanne set the napkins down on the table and began to twist nervously at her wedding band. "Do you remember the fund raiser at the station? Where she yelled at Jennifer." Roy let out a breath. "Boy do I. I thought she and Jennifer were going to hit one another." "Think really hard Roy. Do you remember how Johnny reacted to all of it?" Joanne looked at Roy, willing him to remember and some how put two and two together so she wouldn't have to say what she thought. Roy's brow knitted in concentration. "Well...Beth yelled at Jennifer...called her stupid or something like that. I was just about to ask Johnny to take Beth around front to calm her down when..." Roy's eyes widened slightly. "...he grabbed Beth by the arm and yelled at her." Roy stared off into space. Joanne licked her lips and took another deep breath. "The next day he said Beth was history. All because she yelled at Jennifer." Roy gave her an uncomfortable look. "So what has this got to do with where Jennifer is?" Joanne reached over and took one of his hands in hers. "Roy, I think...I'm not sure, but I think Jennifer and Johnny...they might be involved in some way." Roy yanked his hand from her grasp and stood up. He began to pace back and forth as he rubbed a hand over his head. He stopped pacing and looked down at her. "Are you sure?" "No...it's just little things...the way they look at each other." Roy smiled at that. "Joanne, Jennifer and Johnny are always teasing each other." "I know that, but it's different. She doesn't look at him like he's her uncle, she looks at him like a man...someone she wants." She laughed and shook her head. "And you know Johnny. What ever his little princess wants, she gets." Roy sighed and sat down beside Joanne and took her hand in his. "I think you've been watching too many soap operas." She frowned at him and pulled her hand from his. "I'm not imagining things Roy. Jennifer loves him." "Of course she loves him. He's been there for her since she was almost a baby. Be for real Joanne, Johnny doesn't think that way about Jennifer. He wouldn't do that." She gave him a small smile. "Maybe you're right, but I think I'm going to have a talk with Jennifer about it." Roy smiled at her. "Go ahead and do that mom." Leaning forward he gave Joanne a quick kiss and stood up. "I think I'll go and find her. I'd like to do the cake and presents while everyone is here. I know Cap and Chet have to leave early." Joanne looked past Roy and watched a young man walk toward them. He was the same one that had started the fight with Gage after the game. "Roy..." She nodded over his shoulder and he turned around to face Greg as he walked up and stood before him. Roy gave him an uneasy look. There was something about the man's body language that didn't bode well for him. "Hi Mr. DeSoto." Roy frowned. "Can I help you?" Greg smiled thinly. "No, but I think I can help you. I couldn't help but overhear that you were looking for your daughter." Greg's smile was almost reptilian. "I know where she is." Roy felt his gut tightening. "And where would that be?" "She's with your 'partner'." Roy knew something was wrong. Greg wasn't being nice or helpful, he was enjoying telling him this on some bizarre level. "She's with Johnny?" "Uh huh. Down the hill. I didn't know your partner was dating your daughter. Isn't he a little old for her?" Roy narrowed his eyes at Greg, his heart began to race. "What exactly do you mean by that?" Greg snorted. "Oh, I guess he didn't tell you huh? Well your partner is down there making out with your daughter. Maybe you should go and talk to him about it." Roy stood perfectly still, not moving, not saying a word. His brain was still trying to process the idea that his little girl, his baby, was involved with Gage. His partner...his best friend...was fooling around with his daughter? The man that he trusted with his life. The man he left his children with when he and Joanne had gone on weekend get-a-ways. It had to be a joke. No, a lie. The smiling face of Greg set him in motion. Jumping forward, Roy popped Greg in the nose sending him falling back to the ground screaming in pain. He then jumped on top of the hapless fireman and proceeded to pound him in the face and ribs. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled off of Greg. Marco and Mike held him tightly while Cap blocked him from jumping forward again. "Roy, calm down!" Roy stared back at Cap in disbelief. "Calm down?! Did you hear what he said?!" Cap moved closer to him. "I'll take care of this. You need to go and cool off. Do you understand me, DeSoto?" Roy took a deep breath and saw that Cap was dead serious and to make matters worse, he actually seemed pissed off. Years of following orders kicked in. "Right Cap." Marco and Mike's grips loosened, but they didn't let him go. Turning they walked to another section of the pavilion. ******************************* Breaking the kiss, Gage held Jennifer to him, not wanting to let go. It was a dream. It had to be. Nothing in his life ever went right. The idea that Jennifer loved him was incomprehensible. The proof that she did was in her touch, the way she now looked at him. She loved him. She smiled and gave him a funny look. "What are you thinking about?" "You. I can't believe this is real." "Well it is." "Yeah, I know, but I still can't believe it." Looking around, he slowly released her. "I think we should be getting back to the picnic. I don't want anyone catching us and running back to your dad and telling on us." Jennifer giggled and grabbed him by the hand. "Johnny, you worry way too much." "Uh huh. What would you rather have happen? Us telling him or someone else going up and telling him?" Jennifer frowned. "Neither actually. He's not going to be happy either way." Biting at her lower lip, she squeezed his hand. "Can't we keep this to ourselves for a while?" "Nooooo! No way! I'm not going to go and sneak around behind his back. That wouldn't be right. You know it and I know it." "Yeah, I do know it, but I'd like to at least enjoy this. You know Dad's not going to be happy and Mom...I don't know how she's going to react." Gage frowned. "Geez, I hadn't even thought about her." He looked down at the present in the hand. "Before we go up...happy birthday Jen." Jennifer let go of his hand and took the small box from him. "What is it?" "Open it and find out." Gage smiled as he watched her take the wrapping off of the box. He had thought a lot about what to buy her. Something adult. Something to express how he really felt about her, but not exactly screaming out romance. It was a gift marking the passage of time. This gift was one that would mark the end of innocence. No more toys or clothes for his little princess. Opening the box, Jennifer was speechless. Looking up at Gage, she shook her head no. "I can't take this." His smile faded. "Why not?" Snapping the lid shut, she held it out to him. "I know what you make. Did you forget that Dad has the same job as you? Dad can't afford to buy Mom something like this so I know you can't." He ignored the box that she was holding out to him. "Jen, I think you keep forgetting that I'm not your Dad." She smiled slightly and he continued speaking. "Your dad works overtime to pay for things like...let's see." Gage looked up at the sky and began ticking things off on his fingers. "College, college books, tuition, the new hot water heater we installed last week, the vacation to Yellowstone..." He looked back at her. "I don't have those type of bills. What I make in overtime is marked for special things." He took the box from her and opened it up. Tossing the box to the ground, he undid the clasp and moved behind her. Brushing her long blonde hair aside, he reached around and placed the gold necklace around her neck, letting his fingers trail over her smooth skin. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close to him. "Happy birthday Jen." Leaning back against him, Jennifer fingered the diamond hanging from the thin gold necklace. It felt weird. She had never received a gift like this. Then again, no one had ever really looked at her like she was an adult. The idea that Gage thought of her this way made the moment more special than it would have been. Everything was changing. Her life wasn't ever going to be the same again. Twisting around in his arms, she smiled up at him as she drew him down for another kiss. ******************************* Chris took a sip of beer from the cup in his hand and looked across the pavilion. "Hey Chet, isn't that Greg Patterson?" Chet looked up from his son whose face he was wiping off. "Donny, why don't you go and see if Mommy has Jennifer's present." "Okay Dad!" Chet watched his youngest ran off and then stood up next to Chris and frowned. "Yeah, that's him. I wonder what he wants?" Chet strained to hear what Greg was saying, but they were too far away. When DeSoto decked Greg, he thought he was going to die. Chris jumped forward to go and help his father. Chet quickly grabbed him. "Let me go!" Chet held Chris tightly. "No way buddy. Your dad doesn't need your help." Chet smiled as he watched what happened. It looked like Greg was picking on the wrong people today. When Chris settled down, Chet let him go, receiving a glare from the younger man. "Why'd you do that? What if Greg had hurt my dad?" "Chris...you wouldn't have helped. I know you and your temper." Chris rolled his eyes, but then smiled. "I can't help it if people don't know when they're wrong." Chet shook his head. "Are you sure you're not John's kid?" Chris laughed. It was a running joke in the family about Gage being Chris' father due to their similar temperaments. Neither one had any problems voicing their opinions. Chet nodded over to where Roy, Joanne, Marco and Mike now stood. "How about we go over and see what all the fuss was about." Chris needed no further prompting and quickly made his way over to them. "Dad, what's going on?" Roy looked at Chris and immediately felt embarrassed. Here he was caught by his own son brawling like some teenager on hormone overload. After all of his lectures to Chris on maintaining his temper, 'he' was the one caught fighting. Chet looked expectantly at Roy and smiled. "Yeah Roy. What's got you so hot under the collar that you'd face a month of latrine duty?" Roy sagged a little more. He would still have to deal with Cap. He gestured weakly at Greg who was now being checked out by Joe. "That kid...he said that Johnny and Jennifer..." Roy could feel the anger welling up inside of him again, but it was mixed with dread. He tried to be tactful in his explanation. "He said that they're...seeing each other." Chris burst out laughing and looked over at Greg's bloodied form, then back at his father. "You're kidding? He thinks Uncle Johnny and Jenny are messing around? That's gross!" Chet smiled painfully. Things weren't going the way they should have. Everything was slowly becoming a mess. Sighing inwardly he knew why. Anything associated with Gage never went right. The man's life was a roller coaster ride that never ended. Roy smiled back at Chris as Marco and Mike joined in with Chris' laughter. Marco smirked. "No wonder you punched him." Mike was laughing, but he gave Chet a curious look. Chet quickly nodded his head yes, effectively wiping the smile from Mike's face. Chet then gave him another look, this time silently begging him to keep quiet. Mike nudged Marco and nodded his head at Chet. Roy wiped a hand over his face. He couldn't believe what a disaster this day was turning out to be. Joanne kept silent while the men talked, preferring to keep her thoughts to herself. She had been right. Greg wasn't lying when he had told Roy that he had found Gage with Jennifer. Deep in her heart, her mother's intuition had been confirmed by Greg's statements. She pursed her lips and continued patting at Roy's bloodied knuckles with a damp towel. She'd let them deny it. She'd find Jennifer and Johnny and ask them to tell the truth. ******************************* As they walked side by side up the hill, Gage could feel his throat constricting. The butterflies that had been tumbling about in his stomach had turned into bats. With each step the nausea built. He knew exactly what was going to happen when he and Jennifer told Roy and Joanne about the change in their relationship. All hell was going to break loose. He wasn't prepared for this. No matter how much he had tried to convince himself that things would be okay he knew they wouldn't. He wasn't ready to lose Roy's friendship. He remembered what his life had been like when he had first come to Los Angeles. He had drifted about, trying to find his place, but with no family or really close friends it had been difficult. When Roy had taken him under his wing and basically made him a part of his family things had changed. He had the structure and stability that had been missing from his life for so long. Roy became like a brother to him and as much as he hated admitting it to himself, in an odd way he had also assumed something of a father figure as well. His own family life wasn't anything like the DeSoto's. It was foreign to him, but it had only taken a few picnics and meals with them to realize just how wonderful this kind of life could be. He was terrified of losing it. His hand instinctively reached out for Jennifer's and he gripped it tightly. He felt her squeeze his hand back. She looked up at him, her expression guarded. "You nervous?" "Boy am I ever. Roy is gonna freak, then he'll kill me." "Oh come on Johnny, Dad's not that bad." He let go of her hand and stopped walking. Placing his hands on hips, he looked down at her. "Jen, just how do you think he's gonna react?" Placing a hand on his chest, his voice rose a fraction. "He trusts me! To him, us being together isn't very trusting. I'll bet you he's going to accuse me of corrupting you or something like that. You're mom's probably going to think I molested you and the guys...man, they're gonna ride me worse than a claimer in a stakes race!" Jennifer looked at Gage, feeling like everything was going to be yanked away from her. He was having already having second thoughts. Maybe what he felt for her wasn't the same kind of love that she felt for him. Maybe she wasn't worth it. Her voice warbled as she spoke, her eyes were downcast. "I'll...I'll understand if you don't want to tell them. No one has to know. We can pretend that this...that we never..." She couldn't continue. All she wanted to do was cry. Gage felt a good portion of his nervousness disappear as he listened to Jennifer speak. It was replaced with guilt as he watched her practically shrink within herself. She was willing to hide her feelings for him so he wouldn't have to face Roy. He knew he couldn't do it. Now that they both knew how they felt about one another there could be no going back to being Uncle Johnny and little Jennifer. "Aw come on Jenny, you know I can't do that. 'We' can't do that." He looked around to make sure no one was watching them or were in hearing distance. Taking her hands in his, he lowered his voice. "I love you, Jennifer DeSoto and no matter what happens, that's not going to change." He wanted to pull her into his embrace and kiss the sadness from her, but he also wasn't an idiot. Until their relationship was out in the open, none of that could happen. Running a thumb over the back of her hand, he moved away from her. "Come on. Let's go break the news to them." She wrapped her arms around herself, still unsure. "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't. I know how much you love Dad and if he hates you because of all this..." "Jen, we'll deal with it. I guess sooner or later he'll get use to it. That's what I'm hoping. Let's go." She could see that he was serious. She knew Gage inside and out and there was one thing she had discovered about him a long time ago. He was incapable of lying. He couldn't do it to save his life and if he tried, he'd get so flustered that everyone knew he wasn't telling the truth. He loved her and things would work out eventually. Giving him a weak smile, she resisted the urge to take his hand. All she wanted was for this to be over and done with so she didn't have to hide how she felt any more. To be able to touch him, kiss him, any time she wanted, that's what she had been waiting for. "Okay...I'm ready if you are." They resumed walking up the hill, side by side, their hands occasionally brushing together as they made their way up to the pavilion. Come hell or high water, it was time to face the music. ******************************* Joanne watched them entering the pavilion together. There was no doubt in her mind that they were involved in some way. They were too close together, too connected. Her eyes locked onto the diamond that sparkled at Jennifer's throat. She knew instantly that it was from Gage. That wasn't a gift that an uncle gave to a favored niece, it was something that a man gave to a woman who he loved. She took a long, hard look at her daughter, feeling the sadness building within her as she did. Gone was the small, delicate infant that she had held in her arms so long ago. Gone was the little girl with pigtails, ribbons and braces. In their place was a young woman, confident, strong and ready to step out into the world and make a home of her own. Swallowing back the tears at the loss of her baby, Joanne quickly spoke to the group of men. "I don't want anyone saying anything to them. Roy and I will discuss this in private with them. Do all of you understand me?" Five heads nodded slowly yes, even though she knew they wanted to start pounding the two unsuspecting people with questions as they approached them. Stepping forward to greet them, Joanne began the process of fixing something before it had a chance to be broken. She loved her family and wanted to keep it together at all cost. "We were looking for you, Jennifer. It's time for your cake and ice cream." Jennifer's face broke into a timid smile. She knew something was wrong by the way everyone was standing around the picnic table looking at them. "Chocolate ice cream?" "Yes, with rainbow sprinkles." ******************************* Joanne watched as the men openly stared at Gage and Jennifer. All of them except for Chet that is. She caught his eye and raised an eyebrow at him. When he quickly looked away, she knew that he knew what was going on. Mike and Marco seemed to know something was up as well. Letting her gaze settle on Chris, she could see that he was angry. He was staring at Gage and his sister and she knew he saw the same things that she did. She looked lastly at Roy and almost started laughing. He looked dazed. He never did react very well to surprises and this was most definitely a major shock to his system. She watched as he looked the pair over, then his eyes settled on the diamond necklace. She saw his brow nit in confusion, his lips formed a thin line. He was finally putting two and two together and it wasn't what he liked. She'd have to make sure he didn't ruin things today. Talking with them in private was the only way to salvage anything. ******************************* Jennifer felt edgy. She knew something was wrong, but couldn't place what it was. As the cake was brought out and set before her, she tried to forget for a moment that things were different. Looking at the cake, she smiled. It was white with pink flowers and lettering. The same way her cake had been decorated for years. She had always insisted on having a "girlie cake" as she called it. Twenty-one candles burned brightly, covering a large portion of the cake. She looked around at the faces as they began singing to her. For a few minutes she was transported back in time. She forgot everything. She was twelve again, her mom and dad were young and all was safe and right with the world. She sought him out, giving Gage a bright smile that quickly turned to laughter as he made a goofy face at her. That was one of a thousand things that she loved about him. He always made her smile or laugh. She didn't look away from him, her smile returned, yet it was tinged with other emotions. He had been there for her for so long that she couldn't ever imagine her life without him. Next to her parents and brother, there was no one else in her life that could fill a place in her heart like he did. It wasn't the things he had done for her or the gifts that he would always buy her, it was him. The way he treated her. She knew that he would be the one person in her life that she could always depend on. As the group finished singing, she felt her mother's hands rest on her shoulders. "Make a wish Jennifer." Closing her eyes, she wished that everyone would accept her relationship with Gage. It had to have been the simplest wish that she had ever made, but it was one that she knew might be the most difficult one to grant. Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath and blew the candles out, groaning when they all relit. Everyone turned to look at Chet who smiled innocently. "The Phantom says happy birthday Jennifer." She smirked at him. "Well you tell the 'Phantom' thank you, but now my wish won't come true." Chet's youngest jumped in. "The Phantom didn't do it, you did daddy!" Chet quickly grabbed his son and placed a hand over his mouth. "Pay no attention to the boy, the Phantom did it." ******************************* Joanne cut a large slice of cake and scooped out two dollops of ice cream onto a plate and held them out to Gage. "Johnny, after the picnic, could you come back to the house for a bit?" He took the plate from her, feeling a tingle go down his spine. He could tell her question was more like a request. An order. She knew. When he and Jennifer had come into the pavilion, he knew that they all knew some how about him and Jennifer. "Sure Joanne." "Good. Roy and I have a few things we want to talk to you about." He toyed with the cake on his plate. "No problem, it's not like I have a ton of stuff to do at home." Making his way over to where Jennifer stood, he ate some of the cake. It felt like dry sand as he swallowed it. He kept his voice low, trying to act casual. "Your mom wants me to come over after the picnic so she and Roy can 'talk' to me about something." Jennifer choked on the ice cream she was eating, then quickly swallowed it. "You're kidding? They know? How did they find out, I haven't told anyone?" "Maybe Chet slipped up and said something." Jennifer shook her head no. "I think maybe we should go and ask Chet what he knows. He was here the entire time we were...you know." Her cheeks tinged a light pink and Gage smiled. If she blushed that easily just talking about their kissing, he couldn't wait to get her alone so that he could show her 'exactly' how he felt. He met her gaze, holding it he stared intently into her eyes causing her blush to turn a deeper shade. She giggled and whispered to him. "Johnny, knock it off! If someone catches you, we'll be in deep...trouble." He quickly looked away from her and cleared his throat. "Is it me or is it getting hot in here." "It's you and you'd better stop it." Giving her a teasing smile, he slowly backed away. "I think I'll go and talk to Chet for a few minutes to see what's going on." She smiled back at him. "You do that." As he turned and walked away from her, she couldn't help but stare at his retreating figure. It was hard to believe that he was finally going to be hers. The sooner this day was over with, the sooner they could have their little talk with her parents. Maybe no one would approve of them being together, but she couldn't hold back any longer. All she wanted to do is be with him, hold him and kiss him. Among other things. She felt the heat returning to her face as she watched him from across the pavilion. He would be really surprised to find that she had waited for him in more ways than one. Fingering the diamond at her throat, she knew that her gift would be more precious than the stone around her neck. Maybe he had no idea that she was still a virgin. She hoped he didn't know. That way the moment would be something that he would never forget. ******************************* With a sense of impending doom, Gage followed the DeSoto's car back to their house. He had talked to Chet and found out everything that had happened while he and Jennifer were finding out about their true feelings for one another. Tightly gripping the steering wheel of the Rover, he tried to get the image out of his mind of Roy decking Greg and then jumping on him. All he kept picturing was Roy doing the same thing to him in a few minutes. It wasn't that he was afraid of getting into an altercation. He had been in numerous fights in his life and no matter how many times he had been beaten, he never backed down from anyone. Which unfortunately ended up with him going to the hospital or sporting some wicked cuts and bruises. The problem was this was Roy, his best friend and partner. He wouldn't fight him and that meant getting his face bashed in, which he liked even less. Letting out the breath that he had been holding, he turned the radio on. He needed to relax. An old love song came on and he quickly changed it to an all sports station. This is what had caused all of the problems today. Love. Why couldn't he have fallen madly in love with one of the nurses at Rampart? Why not with one of the myriad of women he had met through the years? Why in the hell did he have to fall in love with Jennifer DeSoto? Deep inside he knew the answer to his questions. It was from knowing her for so long. He had watched her grow from a child to the woman that she was today. It was like he had been waiting for her to catch up to him so that they could finally be together. Call it fate, kismet, whatever, he knew that this was right. He knew they were meant for each other and no one else. Pulling in front of the DeSoto's home, he turned the ignition off and got out of the Rover like he had on numerous occasions through the years. Making his way up to the front door, he wondered if this would be the last time that he would be welcome here. Would Roy and Joanne approve of his and Jennifer's new found relationship? He highly doubted it. He stood for a moment on the front step. Would they even allow Jennifer to be with him? She still lived at home and was subject to their rules. She had only recently begun working in the accounting department at Rampart. There was no way she could afford to live on her own and he knew that her living with him wasn't an option. If he asked her, which he wouldn't, he knew that any chance of him and Roy reconciling their differences would never happen. Taking another deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside. Setting his keys on the small table in the foyer, he walked into the living room. Jennifer walked in from the kitchen looking tense and upset. He gave her what he hoped was a brave smile. He was just as afraid of what would happen in the next few minutes as she was. She gave him a weak smile in return, then quickly looked away as Roy and Joanne entered the room. Joanne motioned at the couch. "Sit down Johnny." Jennifer turned in the direction of the stairs and Joanne stopped her. "This concerns you too Jennifer. Please sit." Jennifer walked slowly over to Gage and sat down next to him. Roy's eyes narrowed as he saw how close they sat by one another. He almost winced as he watched her reach out to take Gage's hand in hers, then she quickly pulled it away from him and tucked her hands nervously in her lap. He couldn't take it. Everything that Greg had said was true. It wasn't a lie. Gage was involved with his daughter. Leaning forward, Roy calmly folded his hands in front of him. "So John, how long has this been going on?" Joanne placed a hand on Roy's arm, stopping him from talking. She looked at Gage and Jennifer. She tried to smile, but she found she couldn't. None of this should be happening. Not to her daughter, not to her family. This was the stuff of ugly neighborhood gossip. She knew that what was happening would spread quickly, bringing shame to her and everyone involved. It wasn't right, but she also knew there was no way to stop it. It would have to play itself out and she knew the results would leave several people hurt for a long time. Adjusting the material of her skirt around her legs, she tried to sound normal, casual. "Johnny...Jennifer. We heard some things today at the picnic. Things that quite frankly surprised your father and I." She paused, trying to keep her anger in check as she look directly at Gage. This was all his fault. He was the adult. He should have never even approached Jennifer. She had trusted him with her baby and look what he did. She sat up straighter. She wasn't about to let him think he could do this without knowing how she and Roy felt. "How long have you and Jennifer been...how long have you..." As much as she wanted to say it, the words wouldn't come out. Her mouth was dry and she felt like she was going to throw up. How could Gage sit across from her and be so calm after all that he had done? He wasn't who she thought he was. Roy clasped and unclasped his hands, his eyes staring directly into Gage's. "What Joanne is trying to ask you John, is how long have you been screwing Jennifer?" He said it coldly, but without any anger in his expression. It was like he was acting on auto pilot. He expected they would deny everything, then back pedal and admit their guilt. He sat calmly waiting for their denials. Jennifer jumped up from the couch and yelled at them. "What?! You think...you think Johnny and I have been...we've never done anything!" Gage stood up and took her by the hand. "Sit down Jen." She yanked her hand away from him. "How can you be so calm! Do you know what they're thinking?!" He nodded his head yes. "If I were them, I'd be thinking the exact same thing." He took her hand and sat, gently pulling her down to sit beside him. He didn't let go of her hand. He needed to touch her, draw some type of strength from her. He looked at the two figures sitting across the room from them. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but for him to have what he wanted, he knew there would be some difficult times ahead. He was use to it though. His entire life had been filled with struggles, but he had always held on and made the things he wanted come true. He may have had to fight and claw his way toward those dreams, but in the end it was always worth it. Being with Jennifer would be worth anything to him at this point in his life. "Roy...Jo..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what you've heard or what you're thinking, but nothing like that has ever happened between us. We..." He took a deep breath trying to collect his thoughts. "Jen didn't know how I felt about her until today." Jennifer gently squeezed his hand. "He's telling the truth. I thought he'd never get past me being his 'little princess'." She gave her parents a pleading look. "You have to understand how we feel. Do you know how long I've waited for him to see me as an adult? Do you know what it's been like for me these past few years having to watch him with all those other women?" Roy snorted and shook his head. "And that's exactly why you shouldn't be with him." Roy gave Gage a hard look. "Do you want to know what's going to happen Jennifer? He'll use you, get bored and then move on to the next notch in the bed post. Is that what you've been dreaming about? Is that what you want?" Roy's voice began to rise. "Damn it John, she's a kid! Couldn't you stick with the nurses at Rampart? It's not like there's ever been a shortage of them. If you wanted something younger why didn't you go for the candy stripers instead of 'my' daughter?" Gage felt his own control beginning to slip. They weren't going to understand unless he made them see how he felt. Why he was doing this. He pulled his hand from Jennifer, gesturing wildly at Roy. "Don't you think I've tried? Don't you think I've looked enough to know that she's who I want to be with?" Roy's face colored and his voice grew louder as well. "How in the hell do you know Jennifer's 'the one'?! Fine. You said she and you hadn't told each other how you felt until today. If that's true then how can you be so God damn sure that she's the one. I've heard you say that so many times it's like a broken record. Hell, you were going to get married to Beth last year, what about her?! She was 'the one' for a while and then you got tired of her and dropped her like you did all the others. Face it Gage, you have no idea what you're doing and I won't let you ruin Jennifer's life by making her one of your conquests." Gage knew it was a losing battle. How could he explain to them how he felt without sounding like an idiot? Everything that Roy was accusing him of was true. He had been through most of the female population at Rampart and then some. What was he supposed to do? Give up and go without companionship? Live his life in a shell? Now that he finally could take a chance with Jennifer, he hoped all of that would change. Running a hand wearily through his hair he stood up. "Look...I don't know what to tell you. All I know is I do care for Jennifer. I'm not going to hurt her, you have my word." Roy looked at him and smirked. "I hate to break it to you, John, but right now your word doesn't exactly mean much to me. I trusted you. You were my friend and look what you've done." Gage felt his blood run cold. The words he didn't want to hear were spoken. You 'were' my friend. He had lost one of the things that he valued the most in his life. "I'm sorry you feel that way Roy. I never meant for this to happen, but it did. I can't help the way I feel." Jennifer stood up beside him. "Honestly Dad...nothing has ever happened. All I'm asking is for you to at least give us a chance." Roy smiled humorlessly. "Give you a chance huh? Fine. You want to see him, that's your business." He looked straight at Gage. "I don't want you coming back here." Joanne nodded her head in agreement, her expression sad. "I think it's best Johnny. I don't want to have to explain to the neighbors what's going on." She looked pointedly at Jennifer. "I hope you know what you're doing Jennifer. This isn't some little summer break fling. Too many people are involved in this and are getting hurt." Jennifer's lips thinned, her expression hardening. She couldn't believe her parents were being so narrow minded. "Fine. As soon as I find someone to room with, I'll move out. That way you and Dad won't have to be embarrassed by me." "I'm not embarrassed Jenni..." "Oh yeah?! Then how come all you're worried about is what the neighbors will say? How come you're going to cut Johnny out of your lives like he never existed?" Jennifer looked at Roy. "I thought you were his friend Dad. I thought what you two shared went deeper than friendship." Roy frowned, his expression growing sad. "I did too Jennifer, but apparently he didn't feel the same way. If he did, he would have left you alone." Gage looked from Jennifer to the two figures sitting across the room. He knew that if he stayed any longer things would soon get out of hand. He hadn't reached the point where he was so angry that he would begin to say things that he would regret later. It would be safer to let things cool down before trying to discuss this any further. Maybe after a time, they would see things differently. Maybe if they had a chance to see that he and Jennifer were good for one another, they would accept their relationship. Looking at his watch, Gage sighed. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm working overtime at Station 19 tomorrow afternoon and I'd like to get some sleep." Roy smirked. "Yeah, it's just like you to start something and not finish it. You go ahead then. Just don't come back here, do you understand?" "Yes, I do." Giving Roy one last look, he turned away and moved to the door. As Jennifer followed him, Roy yelled at her. "Just where do you think you're going young lady?" She looked over her shoulder and frowned. "I'm going to go and say good night if you don't mind." Turning away from the angry scowl that he threw at her, Jennifer pushed Gage forward and through the door, not giving him the chance to talk her out of following him. As soon as they stepped out of the house into the balmy night air, she took his hand in hers, walking slowly down to the Rover parked at the front curb. She could feel the sadness emanating from him. She knew what he had given up for her. He and her father had been virtually inseparable since the beginning of the paramedic program. They were the best working partners in L.A. and more than that, they were brothers outside of work. Two men so vastly different, but still like peas in a pod. As he turned and leaned against the Rover, she watched him stare back at the house. "I'm sorry Johnny. This is all my fault." Taking her hands in his, he gave her a small smile. "It's no ones fault Jen. We can't help how we feel." He squeezed her hands and pulled her to him. "It may not seem like it, but we did the right thing. I'd rather have taken this chance and found out how you feel than to sit back and never know." Her reply was despondent. "Yeah, I know, but you and Dad...things won't be the same." Her eyes widened slightly. "How will you and Dad handle this at work? He's not going to make you transfer is he?" Gage chuckled. "Ya' know Jen, your dad doesn't have that much pull. I won't have to leave my job unless I choose to." He hugged her to his chest, his voice soft, hopeful. "Things will work out Jen, you'll see. They always do." Leaning down, he placed a light kiss on her lips, reveling in the softness of her. Moving away, he smiled at her again. "Can I call you tomorrow?" She smiled back at him, feeling like she was back in high school. "Sure. I mean Dad didn't say anything about you not calling me. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Jumping up, she kissed him quickly on the lips before backing away. She stood by the curb, watching him get in the Rover. He gave her a small wave before starting the vehicle and driving away into the night. With a sigh, she turned and made her way back to the house. Walking in, she locked the front door. Joanne and Roy weren't in the living room any longer. Making her way upstairs, she paused by her parents bedroom door, listening to their heated whispers. She cursed under her breath. Why couldn't her parents yell like everyone else's. Now she would never know what they were thinking. Going to her bedroom, she grabbed her diary from the roll top dresser and flopped on the bed. She had a lot to write down, so she might as well get started while the days events were fresh in her mind's eye. ******************************* The loud music jolted him awake. Reaching out, Gage slapped the clock radio, effectively silencing the song that blared from it. Opening his eyes, he stared up at the ceiling, going over all of the things that had happened the previous day. After leaving the DeSoto's, he had come home and lain in bed for over two hours, rehashing exactly the same things that he was thinking of now. He felt physically tired, but emotionally charged. There were so many feelings churning within him that it was hard to keep track of them all. Something wonderful, yet terrifying had happened and he knew his life would never be the same again because of it. Throwing back the covers, he made his way to the bathroom. As he showered, he thought of what life would be like for the next few weeks. Work would be like a circus, with him being the center attraction. He knew there would be whispers, malicious gossip, but he didn't care. He'd had these things happen to him before. He could deal with them. He smiled as he thought of Jennifer. There was so much of his life that he wanted to share with her. Simple things, like taking her hiking to hidden places that he'd never shown anyone before. Places where they could be alone and get to really know one another without interruption or interference. Toweling off, he made his way back to the bedroom, peeled off the plastic wrapping covering a clean uniform and began dressing. He wondered what it would be like with her. Would he freak out when it finally came down to that moment? Would she freak? His expression grew thoughtful. How experienced was she? He had never really met anyone she had dated. He stopped buttoning his shirt. Come to think of it, he never really saw her with a boyfriend. Shaking his head, he chided himself for being ridiculous. He had taken pictures of her when she had gone to the senior prom. That meant she had dated. It bothered him that he couldn't remember the boy's name. At the time he really hadn't cared who she had been with. All he could remember was the shame and the guilt he had felt for wishing that she wasn't with the boy. That it was him who had his arms wrapped around her waist, making her smile happily for the camera. As he continued dressing, he wondered if that boy had been the one to take her innocence. If it hadn't been him, was it someone she had loved or some horny jerk who had managed to sweet talk her with promises of love? Smirking, he remembered his first time. He had only been sixteen and she had been to him, a wiser old woman of eighteen. They had begun by making out in the back of a pickup truck behind the a barn on her family's ranch. That was nothing new, but by the end of the evening it ended up being a mixture of fumbling embarrassment and animal like instinct when they had moved from groping to sex. At first he hadn't understood what she had wanted, but when she had jammed her hand down the front of his jeans, there was no mistaking her intent. Being a normal hormone charged teenage boy, he hadn't say no. If anything he had jumped at the opportunity to finally do it. As he tucked his shirt into his pants, he hoped that it hadn't been like that for Jennifer. She deserved better than to have her virginity taken from her in the back seat of a car. Grabbing the keys to the Rover, he exited the house and began the drive into the city to begin his shift at Station 19, hoping that even with all of the changes, the day would go smoothly. ******************************* Walking into the locker room, Gage noticed it. The silence. It was as if a mute switch had been thrown the minute he had set foot in the room. Walking past the two firemen sitting silently on the benches in front of their lockers, he quickly placed his things in a spare locker. He then sought out his partner for the day. Smiling, he greeted the other paramedic. "Hey Donny, how're ya' doing?" His smile faded as he received a cold look in return. "Gage." The curt nod and lack of emotion in the mans voice cut through him like a knife. Donny usually greeted him with a bright smile and jokes. He was a great guy to work with. He tried to act as if he didn't know what was going on. That things were still normal. "What's up?" Donny snorted. "You have to ask?" Placing his hands in his pockets, Gage looked straight into his eyes. "Yeah, I do." Donny looked back at him as if he were sizing him up. "Look Gage, how about we both just do the shift and get it over with." Gage held his tongue. He knew it, had expected it, but having it done to him was worse than he had thought it would be. The cold shoulders had begun. Looking down at the floor, he quickly collected his thoughts. Should he try and explain what was really going on or should he just do what Donny had requested? Get through the day and get lost. He chose the easier one. It wouldn't do any good to start the day off with an argument. Maybe he could explain things as the day wore on. Maybe he could slowly win people over by not pounding them in the head with the facts. Looking back up, he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, whatever." Moving past Donny, he made his way to the squad in the bay. Angrily yanking open the compartments, he took out the drug box and equipment, methodically checking it all. He fidgeted nervously, dying to go and grab a cup of coffee, but loathing the idea of walking into the kitchen and facing all of the accusing stares he knew that awaited him. If Donny Smith, one of the most jovial guys at the station, was giving him the brush off, then he knew what he would probably get from the rest of the men on duty. As he was packing everything back in the squad, Donny walked past him without saying a word and got into the driver's seat of the squad. Sighing, Gage closed the compartment. Getting into the squad, they left the station to go and get supplies from Rampart. Sitting silently in the passenger seat, Gage felt his stomach begin to cramp. It was going to be one hell of a long day. ******************************* En route to Rampart, they received a call. It turned out to be something minor. A boy fell out of a tree and sprained his ankle. After taping it up and giving the boy's mother instructions on taking him to their family physician, they finally made it to the hospital. Gage walked down the hall alone. Donny had headed off to gather the supplies leaving him free to finally get his morning cup of java. As he sipped at the coffee, he noticed the looks he received from those who walked by. His mouth dropped open when one of the older nurses openly glared at him. Did the rumors and gossip spread so fast that everyone at the hospital knew what was going on? He stiffened and felt his gut tightening as Dixie came walking toward him. The relief spread through him as she flashed him a bright smile, her voice warm. "Morning Johnny." "Mornin' Dix." Grabbing a file, she sat on the stool behind the nurses station and began marking things off as she spoke to him. "So how was the picnic yesterday?" He gave her a wary look. There was nothing combative in her posture or voice. "It was good." She arched an eyebrow at him and smiled. "Just good?" "Well it was...interesting." "That's what I've heard." She wrote a few more things down before continuing. "I hear that you and Greg from 110 had a little difference of opinion." Gage snickered, then took a swig of coffee. Swallowing it, he gave her a semi-guilty look. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." Tapping her pen on the desktop, she smiled knowingly at him. "I also heard that you finally got the nerve up to talk to Jennifer." Placing the mug of coffee down on the counter, he hesitated, then relented. This was Dixie. She never passed judgment on anyone until hearing all the facts. Having been a part of the gossip mill at Rampart, she knew what a rumor could do. He nodded yes, wondering how she know that he had been interested in Jennifer. Gage gave Dixie a confused look. "How come you're not surprised?" She leaned forward and smiled. "Because I'm a woman. I could see it happening." "Do you think Joanne knew? I mean she acted kind of like she didn't." Dixie smiled again. "She knew Johnny, she just didn't want to admit to herself that it was happening." "Yeah, I guess so." She gave him a sympathetic look. "It's going to be really hard you know that don't you?" Running a hand through his hair, he frowned. "I knew people wouldn't be too happy about it, but I never thought...man, people are looking at me, Dix like...like I..." "Like you're dating a little girl?" He gave a surprised look, shaking his head in agreement. "Yeah! That's exactly it!" "Johnny, you have to remember everyone knows Jennifer as Roy's little girl. Even though she's working here and she's an adult, it's going to take a lot of getting use to the idea of you and her together as something other than Uncle Johnny and little Jennifer." Their conversation was cut short when Donny walked up to them, his tone brusque. "Come on Gage, we have a call." Without another word, he turned and walked away. Dixie gave Gage an encouraging smile. "Don't let them get to you. They'll get use to you and Jennifer being together. It may take some time, but it will happen. Look at Joe and I." "Man, I sure hope so. I don't know how long I'll be able to put up with all the cold shoulders I'm getting." As he turned to leave, he stopped and gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks Dixie." "Anytime you need to talk Johnny, I'm here." He flashed her another smile. Leave it to Dixie to make him feel better. Turning away, he walked quickly down the hall and out to the squad, wishing that Donny would lighten up so he could at talk to him as well. Maybe if he could get one person in the department other than Chet to understand, then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone. ******************************* Stretching, Jennifer rolled over in her bed, pulling the covers up tightly to her chin. Snuggling against the pillow, she lay still. Her eyes suddenly flew open and she looked at the clock on the night stand. Her voice was sleep laden as she mumbled her feelings. "Crud." Flipping back the sheets, she rolled off the bed and padded her way silently across the room to grab her robe. Opening the door, she peered down the hall. She could hear the voices of her parents coming from downstairs. It was safe to get a shower. She made it a quick one. She had to do this right if she were to get out of the house without having to argue with her two non-approving parental units. Dressing in a her jogging clothes, she tied her hair in a pony tail and crept down the hall and stairway. As she silently made her way down the steps, she forgot one important detail. The second to the last step creaked loudly as her weight settled on it. She stopped and cursed herself for being so stupid. It had only been three days ago that her mom had been nagging at her dad that the steps had been on the honey-do list for way too long. Said dad now yelled at her from the kitchen. "Jennifer could you please come here!" Pursing her lips in annoyance, she headed for the kitchen and the certain argument that she had hoped to avoid. It was way too beautiful a day to waste fighting with them. Plastering on a fake smile and a cheerful attitude, she walked into the kitchen, preparing for battle. "Good morning Mom. Good morning Dad." Joanne smiled at her, but it was missing it's usual sparkle. Jennifer could see the tension in her mom's face and posture. Her dad on the other hand didn't even bother trying to hide how he was feeling. The frown he wore was like a red flag. She almost started laughing when the phrase 'Danger Will Robinson' flew through her brain. Roy's voice was accusing. "And just where were you're sneaking off to?" Grabbing a muffin from the counter, Jennifer sliced it in half and jammed it in the toaster. "I wasn't going anywhere." "I don't like you lying to me. Where were you going?" Turning to Roy, she frowned. "I was going out for a jog so I wouldn't have to listen to you and Mom lecture me." "Lecture you?! Excuse me, young lady, but do you have any idea what you're doing? I'm not lecturing you, I'm trying to knock some sense into your head before it's too late." Narrowing her eyes, Jennifer couldn't stop herself. Chris was known for having a temper like Gage, but she was known for having her dad's temperament. Slow to anger, but once let loose, hard to contain. "According to you two, it already 'is' too late! You've made up your minds that Johnny's been screwing me!" Joanne's was shocked. Her baby never talked like that. "Jennifer!" Roy's lips thinned. "You apologize to your mom this instant!" Jennifer folded her arms, her voice sarcastic. "I'm so sorry Mom. You and Dad think Johnny has been molesting me for some time now. Is that better?" Before Roy could yell at her again, Jennifer continued. "I can't believe you guys! Do really think so little of him that you'd think he's been sleeping with me behind your backs? And what makes you think I've been having sex to begin with?! Have you even thought about me? Well it take s two to tango and if he's been doing it, then so have I. Maybe I'm the one who molested him first!" Roy's voice was low. "Jennifer, stop it." "No, you stop it Dad. I'm not a baby, I haven't been one for a long time. If either one of you have looked lately, you'll notice I'm an adult. I can decide what I want to do and who I want to see." Roy slapped the table loudly, causing both Joanne and Jennifer to jump. "Damn it Jennifer, I know you're an adult, but you don't know Gage the way I do! Do you know how many women he's been with? I'm not talking about one or two, I'm talking hundreds." Jennifer snorted, trying hard to cover up her discomfort. She had heard the rumors about Gage, but she also heard other things. Things that totally discounted more than half of those rumors. "They're called dates Dad. Just because Johnny's gone out with a lot of women it doesn't mean he's had sex with them." Roy shook his head. "I know for a fact that he's been around." "Oh really. I never thought that he'd tell you every time he's done it with someone. The few times I've caught him talking to you about sex, he got all flustered and clammed up. I know him too Dad. He doesn't kiss and tell, not even to you." Roy glared back at her. She had him there. Gage never really said if he did or didn't have sex with a woman he was dating. Most of the time he was glad that his partner didn't divulge his sexual habits with him like some of the other guys talked about their sex lives, but right now all he had for a weapon were the rumors and there were plenty of those. "Jennifer, like it or not, he's been around." "So what! He's a single guy! Like it or not, he's going to have sex occasionally. Did you expect him to hold off and wait until he's married? Is that what you're expecting me to do?" Joanne sighed. "Yes. If you haven't had sex yet, it would be nice if you saved yourself for your husband." Jennifer chuckled. "Oh, like you waited until you got married?" Roy jumped to his feet yelling at her. "That is enough!" She flinched as he jumped up, but she wasn't about to back down. They had to understand or there would be no hope for them all. "Johnny and I have never done anything. Ever." She almost said he did kiss her for the first time at the picnic, but that wouldn't have helped her case. "Maybe if the two of you could get your minds out of the gutter, then you'd believe me. Have you ever thought that maybe he does love me? Have you ever thought about what you're doing by accusing us of this stuff? We aren't screwing around! I'm going to see him whether you approve of it or not, so you both have to decide. Do you love me and care enough about us both to quit doing this or are you both willing to push us out of your lives?" Without waiting for an answer, she stomped her way out of the kitchen, slamming the front door on her way out. The silence in the kitchen was eerie. The muffin popped out of the toaster, burnt on the edges. Standing, Joanne calmly walked over and picked it up with a napkin and threw it in the trash. Sitting back at the table, she took a sip of her now cold coffee. "That went well." "I don't want to hear it Jo." "You know I'm right." "How can you be so sure? At the picnic you were all ready to yell at Gage for defiling 'your baby'." "I just know Roy. I can tell." "Uh huh." She got up and poured the coffee down the drain. Turning, she looked at Roy and smiled slightly. "I knew when Chris did." Roy's eyes widened slightly, then he gave her a smug smile. "Okay Jo, you're the expert. Who was it?" "Cindy Margolas, the little Italian girl he was seeing his junior year in high school." Roy blinked in surprise. "Did he tell you?" "No, I just knew. He seemed...different." He looked at his wife in astonishment. Chris had told him, embarrassed as hell, but he had told him about his first sexual encounter shortly after it had happened. He had wanted to know all sorts of answers to all sorts of questions that he had never expected to have his son ask him. "He didn't tell you? You just knew?" "No, he never told me, but I do know that he talked to you about it. I remember you coming out of his room with a red face and you wouldn't tell me what the two of you had talked about." "Um...has Jennifer ever...is she still a..." He motioned with his hands, not wanting to say the word. "She's never told me if she has or not. I had thought she...experimented when she went on that trip to Europe, but now I'm not sure. She may still be a...well I don't think she's done 'it' exactly." They both stared at one another feeling extremely uncomfortable. Roy said what he knew the both of them were thinking. "If she hasn't done anything so far, I know she will with him. He's not going to be happy with just dating her." Joanne sighed. "I know you don't want to do this but maybe we should okay their being together." "What?!" "Hear me out Roy. If we support her decision, maybe she won't sleep with him to make a point of it. Maybe they'll date for a while and then they'll find out exactly how ridiculous it is for them to be together." Roy didn't like the idea, but it did make some sense. Who knows. Maybe Gage would be his normal self and screw things up with Jennifer like he did with every other woman he had been with before. The only problem was this wasn't a woman. This was his little girl. Was he willing to take a gamble with his daughter's life? He gave Joanne a sad smile. Walking over to her, he hugged her. "I guess that's what we'll have to do. Let's just hope she won't hate us when we have to say I told you so." ******************************* The day wore on slowly at the station making Gage wish that he had never put in for the overtime shift. Between the runs and the chores spent in silence, he was slowly growing angry.  He hadn't done anything wrong, but everyone was quick to place some type of blame on him. Was it so wrong for him to feel the way he did about Jennifer? Was it wrong to love her? When it came time for lunch, he made himself absent from the group gathered in the kitchen, preferring to sit out on the hood of the Rover so he could think. Dixie had been right when she said things would be hard and he knew that this was only the beginning. Tomorrow he would be on his regular shift, facing Roy for the first time since he had admitted his feeling to him about Jennifer. If Donny refused to talk to him , he knew Roy would make sure they spent as little time together as possible. There would be no more friendly banter, no more playful teasing. No friendship. He felt a hollow pang in the pit of his stomach. They had been close friends and partners for years. He'd been a part of the DeSoto family for so long that he had almost forgotten what life had been like with his own family. The pain and the loneliness had been filled. He had a new family here in Los Angeles. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and let the sun warm his face, wishing it could warm his soul as well. He knew that he had lost Roy and Joanne, but he had no idea how Chris felt about the whole thing. Opening his eyes, he stared out at the horizon. He had watched Chris grow from a hyper boy to a responsible man. He smiled as he thought of how people always compared Chris to him just because of similar temperaments. Their both saying what was on their minds, not what people wanted to hear. It was nice to know that he had some influence on the boy. He also knew that it irritated the hell out of Roy. His stomach rumbled noisily drawing his thoughts away from his current dilemma. Looking at his watch, he decided to brave the other men and grab a sandwich before calling Jennifer. He said he would and he always kept his word. Sliding off the Rover, he walked toward the station. As he went into the kitchen, he ignored the look of disgust that was shot his way by Roberts, the station's engineer. He had expected to be treated like crap by Roberts. The guy was usually ignorant to him in better circumstances, so why would it be any better now? Opening the refrigerator, Gage pulled out some cold cuts and threw together a sandwich. Pouring a large glass of milk, he took his meager lunch over to the phone. Turning his back on Roberts, he made the call. The phone rang once. As soon as he took a sip of milk, a breathless voice answered the phone. "Hello?" Gulping the milk down, Gage frowned slightly. "Jen?" Her voice sounded extremely perky on the other end, causing him to smile. "Hi Johnny, how're you doing?" He chuckled. "Boy, you sure answered the phone fast. It didn't even ring twice." "I didn't want to chance mom or dad answering it and hanging up on you." Gage's appetite for the sandwich in his hand suddenly vanished. "Is it that bad?" "Well...not really. We had a little 'talk' this morning so you can kind of guess how that went. After I told them what I thought, I went out for a little run." Gage smiled as he pictured Jennifer running, her long golden ponytail bouncing with every stride. He mentally chided himself for visualizing other body parts jumping in cadence with her every move. "Maybe we could go running together some time." He could hear the teasing quality in her voice. "Do you think you can keep up with me?" He snorted, resisting the urge to laugh out loud. "Yeah, I think my decrepit body can keep up with you." Jennifer on the other end of the line, smiled as she got a visual of Gage running beside her, his stride a long easy lope. She knew he could easily outdistance her in the running department and she knew he was as fast as a deer. She pictured them jogging around the neighborhood, the sweat glistening on his skin. She had spent many times watching Gage help her father in the yard and around the house. She now pictured him in a sweat soaked tank top, smiling back at her as he jammed a shovel into the dirt, helping to plant the rose bushes that now covered a gazebo in the back yard. "Jen? You still there?" She started and then blushed in embarrassment. "Huh? Uh...sorry Johnny...I was thinking." continue