***

The next morning Johnny awoke strained. The days since he returned home from his meeting in Sacramento, with everything that transpired, were getting to him and he wasn't the carefree twenty-something paramedic he used to be. His decisions then were limited and didn't have wide repercussions. He had a family now and had to weigh his thoughts carefully. He always knew that one day he'd tell Jennifer about his past, but he always thought it would be when he was ready. But like most of his life, things turned out unexpected and out of his control. That was the word, control. That's what everyone strove for, control over themselves and their environment. Right now, Johnny felt he had neither. Maybe he needed to go back to Poplar to see things through an adult's eye and not that of a sullen teenager. Perhaps then he could be at peace with his role in this world.

***

After showering Johnny went downstairs and found Jenny and Kaitlin in the kitchen eating breakfast. Kaitlin was eating a bowl of cereal; her feet were kicking beneath her chair. Jenny braided Kaitlin's hair and pinned it up while the little girl ate.

"Daddy!" Kaitlin looked up from her breakfast with that greeting.

"Hi Kitty Kate." He bent down and kissed Kaitlin's head.

Finished with the braiding, Jennifer took a mug out from the cabinet and poured a cup of coffee for him and handed it to him.

"Thanks." Although he had nothing to be ashamed of, making eye contact was difficult for him right now. He took a sip of the hot beverage.

"You're going in today?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I dunno." Jenny shrugged. She knew but had to let the subject drop. Her resolve to support him in whatever decision he made started now.

Johnny put the mug down and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Jen, I'm going to speak with Hank about taking a leave of absence. Of course they'll take my vacation time first, but I think we, as a family should go to Poplar."

Jenny pulled a chair out, sat down and listened.

"I don't know about adopting a baby, but at least we can meet people there to determine what the situation is." He took a sip and paused putting the cup down. "And I think it's time for you to meet my family."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"  She looked into his eyes as she asked him this question.

"No, but if I don't do this now, I'll keep second guessing myself." Johnny went to the refrigerator and took out milk for his bowl of cereal. "And I think you should invite your folks over so we can tell them what we're going to do. At least we can tell them we're going to Poplar. I don't know if I'm ready for Roy and JoAnne to know the rest."  With his back to Jennifer, Johnny poured the milk into his bowl.

Jennifer got up from the chair and walked over to him and put her arms around his waist. She had a million questions to ask, especially how would they support themselves if neither of them were working. She knew their finances. They lived comfortably in a modest lifestyle. But they never had money to splurge.

Johnny turned around and could see the wheels turning in her head. "Don't worry about the money. If things get tough we can take a mortgage out on the house."

Jenny was surprised to hear him say that. One thing Johnny was proud of was owning his house outright after buying it so many years ago. Even after the fire and the rebuilding they sacrificed so they could be debt free now.  Johnny was very proud of that fact. All Jenny could say was, "okay."

***


"So what's the special occasion tonight?" JoAnne asked walking into the Gages' home as Roy followed her in.

"What makes you think there's an ulterior motive?" Jenny asked after kissing both her parents.

JoAnne smiled at Roy but didn't say anything. Woman's intuition and too many years knowing her daughter and her 'son-in-law' played in JoAnne's favor.

"Can't we just invite you over?" Jenny asked as she escorted her parents into the livingroom.

Johnny came out from the kitchen with four wine glasses in his left hand, a bottle of wine in his right and the bottle opener in his mouth.

"Here let me help you," Roy said as he took the bottle from Johnny.

"Thanks," Johnny said as he set the glasses down, took the bottle opener from his mouth and retrieved the bottle from his former partner. Johnny then
proceeded to open the wine.  He poured four glasses and handed one to JoAnne, then Roy and finally Jennifer. The two couples made themselves comfortable on the couches and chairs.

In a flash, Kaitlin came running down the stairs. "Poppie!" She ran over to the couch and launched herself at Roy. His quick reflexes saved himself from having wine spilled over him.

"Kaitlin, we don't run in this house." Jenny admonished her daughter.

"Sorry mommy." Kaitlin said it as a small grin appeared on her face. "Poppie, will you read me a story tonight?"

What more could she say to put a huge smile on Roy's face. "Of course, Katieroo. It will be my pleasure."

More small talk occurred and after ten minutes Jennifer made her way to the dining room to set the table for dinner.

The four adults and one child ate dinner with on-going casual conversation. From time to time JoAnne would catch Roy's eye. On the way over they discussed why they had been invited. Roy had told JoAnne what happened at the hospital the other day and she figured something was going on as a result of that confrontation.

After their relaxing meal, Johnny cleared the table while the women helped Kaitlin shower and change for sleep. Roy stayed as Johnny washed the dishes; something that neither man minded as it was part of fireman's routine. Usually Johnny would be talking about something, but tonight Roy was doing most of the talking.

Sometimes the atmosphere between them felt the strain of their strange relationship, but mostly it was like old times.

As Johnny continued to clean the kitchen, Roy was summoned to Kaitlin's bedroom to read a story to her.

Hearing the pitter-patter of little feet as Kaitlin hurried across her bedroom to the bookshelf warmed Roy's heart, as he leaned against her bedroom's door frame. She was a bright spot in the aging man's life, providing him with that small touch of renewed hope that he sometimes needed to remind him that all was not lost.

Roy smiled as he watched Kaitlin finger each book on her three shelf book case until she came to the one book she wanted to share with her Poppie. Like her mother, Kaitlin was meticulous with her possessions, handling them with extreme care. Roy was certain the collection of titles would be around longer than he, his daughter or for that matter even his granddaughter.

"So, Katieroo. What book are we gonna read tonight?"

"Franklin's Birthday Party," Kaitlin replied confidently.

"What about Pooh?" Roy asked, his head cocked to one side with a half grimace and half smile on his face.

"I'm saving Pooh."

"And what are you saving Pooh for?" Roy wondered, curiously. It had taken several months after the fire, which destroyed the Gage home to replace the books. He and JoAnne placed ads in newspapers, scanned web sites, and even went to countless yard sales to look for books. One by one, they replaced the entire set of books, which Kaitlin treasured so dearly. Since then though, Kaitlin slowly cast the lovable bear and his friends aside for other characters, older more mature characters like Franklin the Turtle and Arthur who learn lessons in life and then taught them to young readers through many adventures with their friends.

"They're special and I want to keep them forever," Kaitlin replied, her eyes cast downward as he walked over to the rocking chair where she read stories with whoever would decide to share the special time with her, this time it being her Poppie.

Roy pondered her answer for a short time as he scooped his young granddaughter up into his arms then settled into the rocker. Before he took the book Katieroo held, he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "Don't worry Kaitlin. You'll always have your books, but remember the best part about having books is reading what's inside them to discover all the surprises and secrets they hold." With that he gave his Katieroo a kiss on the neck. She squirmed, squealed, and giggled.  

"Okay, Katieroo," Roy laughed, "I think Poppie has had all the excitement he can take for one night. How about we get settled and have a look at this wonderful book you've picked out for us to read."

Almost as fast as Kaitlin got wound up, she wound down. If there was one thing she enjoyed, it was reading, especially with her Poppie.

Roy began reading, "Franklin could count by twos and tie his shoes. He knew the days of the week and the months of the year. Soon it would be his birthday. Franklin was counting the days to the best birthday party ever."

Roy paused as he turned the page. One thing he admired about the Franklin books, the pictures were bright and colorful. The illustrator had done justice to the writer's work. Together they'd created a wonderful collection which children, both young and old, would enjoy.

"Franklin looked at the photos in the family album. "Last year I had a treasure hunt for my birthday," he said. "And the year before that I had a costume party."

"What do you want to do this year?" asked his mother.

"I'm not sure," replied Franklin. "But it's going to be the best party ever."

"Poppie," Kaitlin said as she ran her fingers over the picture of Franklin.

"Yes, Katieroo?"

"What can I do for my birthday this year?"

"I don't know. Maybe I should ask you the same question as Franklin's mother asked him. What do you want to do this year?"

Kaitlin sighed then helped her grandfather turn the page. "It doesn't matter as long as all my friends and family come." She stared intently at the picture on this page.

Roy noticed his granddaughter's mood change.  "I'm sure everyone will be there sweetie, just like every other year."

"No Poppie. Not like every other year. Remember, I missed one." She looked at Roy as she made that comment.

Roy closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. If he lived to be a thousand, he'd never forget that time in his Katieroo's life. Montgomery Bodine was like a thorn in a person's side, which could never be removed. No matter how many people reassured him, he always blamed himself for those horrible months Kaitlin was missing. It was the 'not knowing' that hurt the most. During Kaitlin's absence so many things happened which she couldn't be part of, like the one missed birthday. Oh yes, they celebrated when she returned home, giving her the best birthday ever. But no one could replace lost time or stolen memories.

"I know sweetie," Roy replied sadly kissing the back of his granddaughter's head. Now with each family member taking all the precautions possible, Roy hoped there would be no more missed birthdays or for that matter any other important days in Kaitlin's life.   "Poppie won't let that happen again, Katieroo. Poppie promises."

"But Poppie, Uncle Chris won't be at my birthday."

"Why would you say that sweetie? Uncle Chris has never missed one of your birthdays."

"Uncle Chris never comes to visit me anymore and I never get to visit him. Mommy said it's because he's sad."

Roy nodded. "Yes Katieroo. Uncle Chris is sad. But maybe, just maybe if you have a special birthday party it will make Uncle Chris happy."

"If he comes," Kaitlin replied sadly.

"Don't you worry sweetie. Uncle Chris will come to your birthday."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Satisfied with the answer her grandfather gave her, Kaitlin urged him to continue reading.

"The next day, Franklin invited all of his friends to his birthday.

"What are we doing at your party?" asked Bear.

"I don't know yet," answered Franklin. "But I want to do something really fun!"

Franklin's friends had lots of ideas…"

Roy paused at the bedroom door and looked back at his granddaughter. She was right, Chris was sad, but considering the things that transpired in son's life of late, Roy understood why. In fact, the last shift Chris and Jeff worked turned out tragic for both young men and Roy wondered if either would fully recover from the trauma they both experienced. Letting his mind wander back to the days when he and Johnny were partners, he wondered what would have happened had such an accident happened to him and Johnny. Would they have found their way back through the pain and anger these two young men were experiencing? Roy didn't know the answer. No amount of wisdom he shared with his grieving son could give the young man the sprit he needed to put the tragedy behind him. Part of Roy understood. True friendships were forged deep and trying to forgive oneself for a situation one had no control over could damage the glue that held that friendship together. Roy promised his granddaughter Chris would be at her birthday. So when that day arrived, Chris would be there come hell or high water. "Sleep tight sweetie," Roy whispered then walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

***


Downstairs Johnny went over to the bar and took out a bottle of Amaretto. As he poured the amber liquid into the cordial glasses and sat down next to Jenny, Roy entered the room. "That was quick," he said.

Roy nodded. "It's always quick. I have a way with my Katieroo." A slight blush reddened Roy's face.

"Did she have many questions for you tonight, Dad," Jenny asked accepting a glass of Amaretto from her husband.

Roy nodded, but never commented. He always kept Kaitlin's questions and concerns private. What they talked about stayed between them. And most time, he was able to calm her fears. If it became necessary for him to intervene like the time when Kaitlin thought Johnny and Jenny were getting a divorce, he intervened. Taking a seat beside his beloved wife, Roy too accepted a glass of Amaretto from Johnny.

For several long minutes the two couples sat in silence and sipped the liqueur. When Johnny finally decided it was time to share the reason behind the evening with his friends/ in-laws, he began to stumble over his words.

It didn't take long for JoAnne and Roy to notice that Johnny appeared uncomfortable. Seconds later the love of his life came to his rescue.

"Mom, Dad, Johnny and I have something to tell you." Three sets of eyes looked at her. "Johnny, Kaitlin and I are going to be heading to Poplar, Montana to look into adopting a Native American baby from Johnny's hometown."

Johnny was amazed how in one sentence Jennifer was able to say it all.

"What about work?" Roy asked knowing Johnny's workload.

"I'm taking vacation and if necessary a leave of absence." His answer was flat in a matter of fact tone.

"You're going to be away that long?" Roy asked in surprise.

Johnny looked at Jennifer but answered, "If need be, yes." He continued, "I haven't been home in too many years and I have several loose ends that need to be tied up."  End of topic as far as Johnny was concerned.

JoAnne was thrilled for her daughter, knowing how much she wanted another child. But she knew something else was up. One thing about Johnny Gage, if he didn't want to talk about something, he wouldn't. When the time was right, Johnny would tell Roy and her.

"Maybe we can meet you there." JoAnne said.

Johnny sucked in his breath and Jenny held her's too. "Maybe," Johnny answered. "If things work out and Roy's not too busy at work." He laughed. "Sorry about that Pal, but you may have to cover for me." He grinned.

"Nothing new. I've been doing that for years." He smiled too.

"What's that suppose to mean?" It was like old times as the two men bantered back and forth relieving the tension in the air. Jenny made eye contact with her mom and JoAnne knew she'd learn more before Johnny and Jennifer headed off to Poplar.


to be continued