The Man By: Sage Rory Roy peered carefully into the locker room through the window, and was relieved to find it empty. Everyone else, it seemed, was already in the kitchen, getting their first cups of coffee for the day. Roy opened his locker, placed a paper bag inside, then sat down to carefully remove his shoes and socks. He examined the bottom of his bandaged right foot, and was pleased to find no blood had soaked through. Sure enough, before he could finish dressing, he could hear his partner, whistling his way toward the locker room, through the Apparatus Bay. Roy quickly yanked up his uniform pants, and knocked his street clothes to the floor, effectively covering his still bare feet. "Morning," John offered as he pushed through the door, and walked to his locker. "Morning," Roy replied with forced cheer. John straddled the bench to sit and face Roy. "Man, you would not believe the night I had last night..." "What happened?" "Well..." John reached down to pick Roy's fallen clothing from the floor. Roy stepped on his pants leg, and they popped back out of Johnny's grasp. Instead of leaving it, he tried again, giving Roy's knee a pat, to tell Roy to move his foot. Roy ignored him, pretending to be too involved in pulling his uniform shirt from its hanger to notice. "Move your foot," Johnny told him, as he tried to pick up the clothing a third time. "Of all the days he decides to be helpful," Roy muttered under his breath. "Huh?" "Nothin, so what happened?" "Roy, what are you hiding?" "Nothin." "Nothin huh? Since when do you walk all over your street clothes?" "I'm not...." Roy sighed, then stepped off his pants so Johnny could pick them up. "Whatcha do?" "Nothin." "Then why were you hiding it?" "Johnny, can't you just...." "Let's see it." "No!" "It's me or Bracket." "It's not that bad!" "Then let me see it." Roy surrendered, and allowed Johnny to remove the bandage. He was amused, and slightly touched at how gently he did so, and smiled, shaking his head. "Is that all?" Johnny complained of the injury. "I told you it was nothing." "Well...how'd ya do it?" "I stepped on something." "Obviously...what did you step on. If it was metal, you'll need a tetanus." "It wasn't metal." "What was it?" "adal" "What!" "A DOLL, Okay?" "A doll?" "Yeah, ya know, when you have kids, you step on toys...it goes with the territory." "What doll?" Roy banged his head deliberately against his locker, in frustration. "One of Jenny's, okay?" Johnny narrowed his eyes. "Which one of Jenny's?" "Oh come on Johnny, she probably has twenty of them!" "Christy?" "No." "Sandy?" "No." "Sally?" "No." "Forget your girlfriend of the day's name again Gage?" Chet asked as he busted into the room. "Stephanie?" "No." "Dee Dee?" "No." "Brand..." "MOLLY! ALL RIGHT? Walking, Talking, Crying, Wetting Molly!" "I just bought her Molly for her birthday!" "I know." "She loves Molly." "I know!" "Did she survive?" Roy pulled the paper bag from his locker, and thrust it into Johnny's hands. Johnny carefully opened it, and looked inside. "OH MY GOD, how COULD you?" "It wasn't MY fault. She left it on the steps!" "Does she know?" "Of course she knows. She was sitting at the bottom, putting on her sneakers, when it happened." "What did she do?" "She started bawling. What do you think she did? Then the dog started barking and Joanne starts yelling from upstairs and Chris' bus just zips by..." "Sounds like you've had a rough morning, Roy." Cap sympathized as he started to catch the story from the doorway. "Oh that's not the half of it. I mean, I'm the man of the house right? So I decided to take control of the situation. So I tell Chris to get his books, and get in the car, and I tell Jenny not to worry, that I'd take Molly to the hospital with me later, and they'd make her all better, which I thought was really smart." "Sounds smart to me," Cap agreed. Johnny peeked again, into the bag, and shook his head. "You're never going to be able to fix it Roy. It's completely smashed." "I know that, only problem is so did Joanne. I think I got the problem licked, and she pulls me aside and starts chewing me out for making a promise I can't keep. So I told her I'm not going to try to fix it, I'm going to buy her another one. Then she goes off on how the kids are never going to learn to take care of their toys that way, and how she is tired of being the disciplinarian while I always get to be the good guy." "So now you're not going to get her a new one?" Johnny asked, cringing in disbelief at being so heartless to such an adorable little girl. "Of course I'm still getting her a new one. I'd already promised to make it better." "Have fun sleeping on the couch," Chet prodded as he ducked out of the room. Cap shook his head sympathetically, gave Roy a pat on the back, then turned to follow Chet out, calling back over his shoulder, "Roll call in five." "How about this," Johnny offered, "since I bought the first one, how about I buy the second one, and Joanne can be mad at me instead?" "No, it's too late for that. Besides, she's already still mad at you over the rose bushes." "Now Roy, I already explained that. I thought they were just some nasty, thorny weeds, and that I was doing her a favor by yanking them out of there." "I know...but from now on, ask first?" The klaxon sounded, "Squad 51, respond to an unknown type rescue at 5th and Cross, 5th and Cross. Time out, 8:05. Roy and John pulled up to a house that had seen better days. The front steps were warped and loose, two of the porch windows were broken, and the screen door was open, hanging only on one hinge. They took the drug box and biophone from their compartment, and carefully made their way up the steps. Johnny knocked on the screen door, causing it to fall to the ground with a loud crash. When the noise brought no one to the door, he called out, "Fire Department, anyone here?" On the porch, the inside door was standing wide open. The two men shrugged at each other, then cautiously went through it. "Hello?" Roy shouted out loudly, causing a cat to bolt off of a sofa, and out of the door, between his legs. Not having seen the cat, Johnny jumped as the thing brushed past his own leg, and dropped the drug box. He knelt down to stuff everything back inside, as Roy continued to search for their patient. In a back bedroom, he found her, a woman with several cuts to her hands, and a couple to her face. She sat on the floor, wedged between a double bed and a wall, trying not to be seen. "Hello...you ok ma'am?" he asked calmly. She shook her head no, and wiped tears from her eyes. "Well, I'm here to help you. I'm just going to take a look at you, okay? Why don't you sit up here on the bed for me. I don't think I can fit back there with you...one too many doughnuts," he added, giving his tummy a pat. He got her to smile, and she joined him to sit on the bed. Johnny arrived through the door with his usual fervor, causing fear to cross the woman's face. "That's my partner Johnny," Roy quickly explained. "Johnny? Trauma box and ambulance." Johnny did an about face, and ran out to the squad to grab the gear and to make the call, before his eyes could land on the girl. When he returned, the door he had left as wide open as he had found it, was now closed. He tried to turn the knob, and was shocked to discover it was locked. He could hear some shouting, and the sound of glass breaking inside. "Roy! Roy OPEN THE DOOR!" More banging was his only answer. "ROY?" he shouted, smashing the drug box through an already cracked front window. After breaking out as much glass as he needed, he climbed inside. The noises continued to come from the back of the house. Johnny ran full speed to the back bedroom. A man stood over Roy, a knife in his raised fist. "HEY!" Johnny screamed, barreling into him, and knocking him over. The man leapt uninjured, to his feet, slashed at Johnny with his knife, and ran from the room. Johnny rose and slammed the door shut behind him, then shoved a dresser up against it. The woman again sat behind the bed, crying hysterically. Johnny's eyes searched the room for the biophone, only to see it laying in the grass, several feet outside one of the broken windows. "Ma'am? Ma'am? Do you have a phone in here?" She shook her head. "Where is your phone?" A rock smashed through another bedroom window, just missing Johnny's head. He dropped to the floor, and crawled to his partner, whose breaths were coming in gurgling gasps. "MA'AM! WHERE IS YOUR PHONE?" "HE RIPPED IT OUT!" she screamed back at him. "Okay...all right...okay...are you hurt? Can you walk?" Though blood stained her clothing, and cuts were apparent, she looked more scared than injured. "I'm not going out there!" she screamed again, tears streaming down her face. Johnny opened the trauma box, pulled out an intubation tube, and used it to aid Roy's breathing. "Roy? Hang on Roy! As soon as the ambulance gets here, we're out of here. Just hang on okay?" Roy reached up and squeezed Johnny's hand as he checked his eyes. "It's gonna to be okay Roy...it's gonna to be okay. Ma'am, please, let me check you out." The woman shook her head. "Ma'am, I can't fit back there with you...please...just come sit over here with us." Johnny continued to bandage up his friend as best as he could, trying to stop the bleeding. A short time later, he heard he siren of the requested ambulance approaching. "Ma'am, this is it, we're going. There are more men outside now. Let's go." Johnny shoved the dresser out of his way, then picked Roy up from under his arms. Roy screamed silently, but Johnny had no choice. He quickly dragged him backwards, to stand with his back holding the door shut. He listened for any sound. "Ma'am...come on...right into the ambulance. Just run and don't stop running until you're inside. It'll be right outside your front door...ma'am? Ma'am? Can you do that?" "Anyone in here?" a man's voice called. "Ma'am...NOW... let's GO!" Johnny pulled open the door, and before he could get a better grip on his partner, the woman bolted through it, and straight into the arms of the ambulance attendant. "Get her into the ambulance and call for the police!" Johnny shouted. One attendant helped the woman to the ambulance, while the other helped Johnny carry Roy into the living room. They placed him on a gurney, and wheeled him away without taking the time to strap him on. After loading him into the ambulance, Johnny jumped in with him and the girl, while the second attendant closed the door. Johnny checked the woman over, and found she was relatively unhurt. He took Roy's vitals, and had one of the attendants call them in and request an IV. After administering it, he glanced out the rear window. The ambulance had not started up yet, in order to give Johnny time to start the IV without being bounced around. Now he saw the same man round the corner of the house. He raised a 357 magnum, and fired off a shot. "GO! GO! GO!" Johnny screamed at the driver. As the ambulance started to pull away, the man took off at a full run after it, gun in his left hand. A young Police Officer, who had just arrived, took in the scene. With precision aim, he fired at the man's legs, causing him to fall, face forward, to the ground. Another squad arrived, unintentionally blocking the ambulance's way. The young officer approached the suspect, and disarmed him. A main artery in his leg had been pierced by the bullet, and blood poured from the wound. "Hey!" the officer yelled, banging on the ambulance door, "This guy needs help now!" Johnny opened the door, and looked at the now harmless man who had tried to murder his own wife, and his partner. He knew his duty, but hesitated for a moment. He carefully checked Roy, to assure himself he was stable, then joined the accumulating officers around the bleeding body. The first aid he gave was top quality, though coldly applied. The woman refused to be transported in the ambulance with him, so an officer took her to the hospital in a squad. On the way to Rampart, Roy began to wheeze, his intubation tube clogged. At the same moment, the man's low blood volume caused him to arrest. "I need...I need..." Johnny called out into the otherwise empty cabin. He pulled out Roy's tube, and started CPR. He blew out the tube, and charged the defibrillator, while listening to his best friend choking. "Hold on Roy...Hold on..." Johnny shocked the unconscious man, and turned to replace Roy's airway. Blood covered Roy's mouth, making it difficult to see what he was doing. He swiped out Roy's mouth, and defibbed the other man again. He applied some compressions, then again turned to Roy to try to tube him, and again he could not. The ambulance doors opened as Johnny shocked the man a third time, giving him the jolt that would save his life as his heart started to beat again. "He needs more plasma," Johnny shouted as he pushed out the stretcher and went back to Roy. The blood he had swiped out had been replaced, and he again tried to clean out the cavity with a wad of gauze. "Roy? Roy?" he said trying to get a response. An attendant pulled on the gurney, causing Johnny's third try at a new airway to fail as well. "WAIT!" Dr. Morton pulled on the gurney next, and he and the attendant placed it on the ground and pulled it up. "He can't breath!" "We'll get it Johnny, we'll get it," Morton assured him. "How long?" "I...a few minutes...I.....couldn't time it....I....." Morton scooted away to treatment room two as soon as he started an airway with the tube he had snatched from Johnny's hand. Johnny stood alone in the ambulance bay, his mind screaming at him, demanding to know what had happened. It was too much, too fast. Adrenaline caused his hands to shake. His heart pounded in his ears as tears started to fill his eyes. "What did I do? What did I do? I saved....I let Roy..." Without conscious command, his legs started to carry him to treatment room two. By the time he reached the door, the adrenaline had faded, and blood drained from his face. Dr. Morton, Dr. Bracket, and Nurse Dixie worked to save Roy's life. He wondered where all the blood had come from. He had stopped the bleeding, hadn't he? "Johnny, what happened?" Dr. Bracket asked as he worked. "Johnny?" "Huh?" "Dix..." Bracket said, gesturing toward Johnny with his head. "Johnny? Come outside with me," she requested, leading him out by the hand. "Do...do you know what I did?" "You did the best you could Johnny. You saved that boy's life!" "Boy?" "The boy that was shot, he's stable, and he should be just fine. He's in three, if you'd like to see him." "Oh no.....What Did I DO?!" "Johnny?" "Is Roy going to die?" "We're doing everything..." "DON'T TELL ME THAT? I want the TRUTH!" "I don't know Johnny." "That....that BOY.....DID that," Johnny told her, throwing his hand toward the door of treatment room two. "Oh my.....Johnny.....I'm sorry....but..." "And I saved him.....I saved his life. Roy couldn't breath and I..." Johnny struck the wall with his fist. "Johnny.....Johnny.....please calm down. It'll be all right. Dr. Bracket..." "Will try. Dr. Bracket will do all he can, with no thanks to me." Johnny punched the wall again and stormed out of the hospital. Dixie called after him, but he wouldn't turn back. As he walked, he pulled off his badge, and flung it at a concrete wall outside. He removed his paramedic pin, and whipped it at the sun. The buttons on his bloodied uniform popped off as he ripped it from his back, tossed it to the ground, and stomped his way over it with his feet. His belt flew into someone's front garden, and his socks and boots landed in the road. His whole body shook as he pulled off his t-shirt, balled it up, and threw it at the windshield of a parked squad car as he passed. People moved out of his way, as he hiked barefoot, to the ocean. He dove into the water, and swam, and swam, and kept on swimming. Somewhere in his mind, a voice told him to keep going, and not stop until he couldn't swim anymore. That way, he'd drown, unable to swim back. The look on his face had drawn the attention of everyone, including a lifeguard. When he did not see Johnny come back in, he called the coast guard. By the time they found him, he had no fight left. He allowed them to pull him on board, but would not answer their questions. As soon as they docked, he jumped from the boat. There was no reason to suspect the rescue was an attempted suicide. They figured he was just another irresponsible swimmer that had misjudged the tide, so they allowed him to go. Johnny had changed his mind about dying a short time before being rescued, and had begun to try to swim back. He had vowed to himself to devote the rest of his life to taking care of Roy's wife and two young children. He limped his way home, sore and existed. A neighbor down the hall saw him come in, and went back into her apartment to make a phone call. The refrigerator light hurt his eyes as he pulled out a carton of milk, and drank deeply from it. After putting out the salty fire in his throat, he felt guilty for easing his pain. He sank to the floor, and cried. A half an hour later, his breath still ragged, he began to realize someone was banging on his door. He placed his hands over his ears, and closed his eyes, wishing whoever it was would go away. His landlord unlocked his door, and allowed Cap and Chet to enter. "Johnny? Johnny? Are you in here?" Cap called out into the darkness. Chet found a light switch, and turned it on. The light again caused pain to Johnny's swollen red, sea salt burnt, eyes. He shouted at Chet to turn it back off, but his mind said, 'Good, let 'em burn." "You all right Johnny?" Cap asked. "Johnny," Chet soothed, "Roy's gonna be okay. Dr. Bracket said he's doing really well under the circumsta...." Cap swatted at Chet's arm, and glared at him. "Johnny?" Cap asked again. Johnny ignored him. "Come on son, you're a mess." Cap hauled him to his feet, and pushed him into the bathroom. When he let go, his hand came back half bloody. Johnny was about to close the door behind him when Cap stuck his foot in its way. "Come here," he said, placing his other hand on his shoulder this time. Johnny allowed himself to be led back out into the light of his living room, where Cap discovered he had a deep cut, running the length of his upper right arm. He bandaged it up tightly with some gauze and tape Chet found in the bathroom. "Okay, get into the shower, but leave that on. As soon as you're done, we'll take you over to Rampart for some stitches." "It's too late for that," Johnny mumbled on his way back to the bathroom. "What?" "I said it's too late for that!" Johnny shouted this time. "What do you mean it's too late for that," Cap shouted back, but with less of an edge to his voice than Johnny's. "I mean it's been too long, they can't stitch it!" "Well they can at least look at it, can't they? I'm sure you'll need a shot of something or other...right? Now get a move on!" Johnny sighed, too tired to argue more. He washed quickly, biting his lip as the soap seeped through the bandage, and stung his arm. He gave his teeth a quick brush, and ran a comb through his hair, wiping the condensation off of his mirror as he did so. He didn't like the face that stared back at him, so he gave the man a thump, and left to find some clothes in the bedroom. He put on jeans and a white t-shirt, not bothering with socks, before stuffing his feet into a pair of sneakers. Then, he presented himself as ready to leave. Cap tried to take a look at the soaked and bloody bandage, but Johnny shrugged him off, and marched out of the door. Outside on the Engine, he felt the stares of his other two station mates. "You okay Johnny?" Marco asked. "Leave me alone," Johnny warned softly. "You did everything you could.....for everyone," Mike put forth from his place behind the wheel. "Roy'll be all right," Marco encouraged, trying to get Johnny to look at him. Johnny took Chet's usual place, and stared down at his hands, trying not to snap back at Marco. Chet climbed on the back of the engine, and they were off to the hospital. Cap held his breath the entire way, hoping they would not get a run before they could get him there. Mike drove a little faster than necessary, flashing his lights from time to time. Johnny voluntarily walked into the hospital, though every nerve in his body wanted to run. In the middle of the hallway, a woman stood weeping in the arms of a man, while a nurse spoke to them soothingly. She glanced up at Johnny coming down the hall, and whispered something more. "That's him?" the woman asked, wiping her eyes, "that's him?" She rushed toward Johnny, and pulled him into a strong embrace. "Thank you...oh thank you...you saved my little boy...." Johnny stiffened, realizing who she was, but she didn't notice. "Ma'am...Ma'am?" "If he'd have died," she continued, "I don't know what we would have done....thank you." Dixie walked out of three, and taking one look at Johnny, dove in to help. "Mrs. Stirling? You can see your son now," she told her, pulling her arms from around his neck. "Take the elevator up to the third floor, they've moved him from recovery, into room 317." She guided her and her husband to the elevator, and let out a sigh of relief as the doors closed behind them. She turned back to where the paramedic had remained, standing dead still, eyes closed, and jaw clenched. Cap got her attention, pointed to his arm, then to Johnny. She visually took in the wreck of a bandage, and led him into treatment room two. When it dawned on him which room they had gone in, his eyes darted around the room. All signs that his friend had ever been there were gone. The bloody nightmare had been cleaned away, though it remained crystal clear in his mind. "Up," Dixie said, patting the examining table. Johnny hesitated. "Why don't you ask?" "What?" "Where he is?" He didn't answer, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. Dixie patted the table again, and Johnny boosted himself up . "He's been moved up to 307.....they told you he's going to be fine, didn't they?" When he didn't answer, she frowned, and began to remove the bandage. With it half off, she paused, pressing her hand against his forehead. "You're warm." In one move, she grabbed a thermometer, shook it out, and popped it into his mouth, then started again on his arm. "I don't know exactly what happened out there today, but everyone here thinks you did a great job." "A GREAT JOB?" "Johnny! You did the best you could, didn't you?" "I didn't get the airway in!" "It happens...Roy will be all right." "I should have helped him, instead I..." "You were doing your job." "MY JOB? How can you say that! Roy could have died!" "He didn't.....you did everything you could Johnny." "How could I put that man before...." "Dix? Johnny?" Chet interrupted, peeking inside. "Yes?" Dixie asked, breathlessly startled. "Um, Roy wants to see Johnny." "Go on, this can wait a little while longer," she said, giving him a gentle nudge. Johnny shook his head to himself, while Chet stood expectantly, holding the door open for him. He let out a sigh, and slowly walked out of the room, toward the elevator. Chet followed closely behind. When the doors opened, Chet moved inside, but Johnny remained where he was. "Johnny? You comin?" He took a deep and shaky breath, then joined Chet in the elevator. Outside of Roy's room, Cap, Mike, and Marco stood together, speaking quietly to keep from disturbing anyone else on the floor. Johnny got as far as the door before pausing again, only to have Chet push him through it, and not follow. Roy woke from a doze in his bed. "Johnny?" he called with a scratchy voice. Johnny made no move to come closer, and instead stared down at the floor. "Johnny I'm sorry! I should have warned you." "What?" Johnny whispered looking up, uncertain he had heard correctly. "I should have warned you. I could tell she hadn't done that to herself...but I didn't see anyone...and I didn't think.....I should have warned you to watch out for someone. If I had....." "Roy that's crazy. There's no way any of this is your fault!" "I should have said somethin!" "You didn't know to say somethin." "Are you all right?" "Yeah.....I'm fine." "I kept picturing you coming back in, and him just...." "I'm fine Roy." "You don't look it. Why don't you come over here and sit down...before you fall down." Johnny pulled a chair up, right next to the bed, and dropped into it. He tried not to stare at the chest tube coming out of his friend, and at the same time, Roy could see he was avoiding eye contact. "What?" Roy asked. "I just don't get you." "What?" "What I did today.....how can you even look at me?" "What are you talking about?!" "THE WHOLE THING! You could have died today!" "I know it was a close call, but..." "But nothin! I should have taken care of you." "You did." "No I Didn't! I was too busy taking care of that Man...the guy who tried to murder you!" "Johnny, you were doing you're job." "Ahhhhhh! Now you sound like Dixie! What's the matter with me? I never should have put him first!" "You tellin me you should have let him die so you could get my airway back in?" "YES!" "NO! It's not for you to decide, and you know it! It's in your training...the victim's come first. You turn everything else off, and you do your job. There's no way for you to know the whole story in any situation, and even if you could...you can't be judge and jury." "If you had died today..." "I didn't." "I know, but...." "What if he had died...could you live with yourself then?" "I don't know." "That was an eighteen-year old kid Johnny, a newly wed. Some Hippy friend of theirs gave them a wedding present. A bottle of champagne...laced with PCP. He drank some...she didn't...cause she's pregnant. Then he went out of his head, and attacked her. He's a college student at UCLA, never touched anything like it before, never wanted to. Should you have let him die?" "No," Johnny whispered, tears filling his eyes. "You did the right thing today. I just wish I knew if I could have done the same...to even get out of the ambulance...after everything that had happened. I'll say one thing to you that you once said...I'm glad it was you, and not me." Johnny laughed through his tears, and covered his eyes, dropping his head, and resting it against the side of the bed. "Just being honest," Roy added, reaching over to give the back of Johnny's head a squeeze. Dixie walked in a short time later to find both men sound asleep, Johnny leaning, and laying his head on the bed, Roy's hand still resting gently on the back of his neck. "What I wouldn't give for a camera," Dixie laughed to herself. Johnny woke as Dixie began cleansing and applying butterfly tapes to his arm. "He's warm," Roy told. "I know," she replied, holding up a syringe and injecting Johnny with it before he had time to protest. "Tattletale," Johnny muttered. "Oh I knew about it already and you know it, now get into to bed," she pulling the covers down on the bed next to Roy's. "Huh?" "You're being kept till morning for observation. Dr. Bracket will check you over as soon as he can. I'll get you a gown." "Oh great," he commented, flopping down face first onto his bed. Dixie swatted his head, so he rolled over to allow her to help him off with his shirt, and into the gown. Tape came loose on his new gauze bandage, so she retaped it. "Thanks," Johnny said, sleepily admiring her handiwork. "Oh it's nothin. You know us nurses, we can fix anything with a little bit of gauze and a bandied." Roy chuckled as Dixie threw him a wink, and left the room, shutting off the light as she went. After a few moments of silence, Johnny asked, "Roy, think we should let her have a crack at Molly?" "Go to sleep," Roy laughed as Johnny's giggle filled the darkness. THE END |