So This Is Christmas By: Sage Rory Joanne looked at her watch, and tried to remember what day it was.  Thanksgiving hadn't been that long ago, but in a way it seemed like it'd been ages.  Christmas was already creeping up on her, making her anxious whenever she felt the world around her was slowing her down.  "Come oooon," she growled at the elderly woman crossing the street.  "If you can't walk, why didja leave home!"  She felt guilty the moment the words had escaped her mouth.  She hated herself some times.  She reminded herself that she did not own the road, and that it was her own fault that she was running late in the first place.  Besides, she knew very well that John Gage, the man at the moment taking care of her daughter, probably had no idea what time it was, or remembered in the least what time she had told him she'd pick Jenny up.  A pang of jealous admiration pushed her guilt away.  Life seemed so easy for that man.  He was almost always happy, and forever ready to lend a helping hand. A freakish cold snap had arrived in LA that morning, making Joanne glad for once for the heater in her car.  The woman in front of her was still moving slowly across the road with her little fold-up cart of groceries.  Joanne looked more closely, and really saw the woman for the first time.  The poor little thing couldn't have been more than five feet tall, and was bundled up to the hilt.  So much for the warm LA weather. Joanne pulled her car over into a church parking lot the moment the woman was out of the road.  "Miss?" she called running after the lady. "Yes?" "Can I help you?" "Help me?" "With your cart...do you live far?" "A few more blocks." "Could I give you a lift?" "A lift?" "Yes, in my car.  I've had the heater on, so it's nice and warm." "I don't think so," the woman hesitated. "Are you sure?  I don't mind.  I'd really like to." "Well...how much will you charge me?" "Charge?  Not one sweet penny." "Is that your car over there," the woman asked, gazing toward the old stationwagon by the church. "Yes, it's not much, but my husband does manage to keep it running." "Well...all right I guess." "Good, how 'bout you let me pull the cart." "Oh...all right," she agreed slowly.  "You go to this church?" "No...I take the kids to the Baptist Church on 27th." "Baptist...so you're not Catholic?" "No.  My mother was Baptist, and so on." "Well...there's only one God, I've always believed." "Right," Joanne agreed, feeling much better about her day as she loaded the woman and the groceries into her car, and started down the road in the direction the her new passenger had been heading. "Right here, young lady," the woman said, pointing out her house. Joanne grinned.  It had been some time since anyone had referred to her as being a young anything, and it felt good. A few minutes later, she was on her way again.  She glanced at her watch, and cursed softly at the traffic in front her.  She was due to pick Chris up from the neighbors in only twenty more minutes.  After debating over whether she should just turn around and get him first, she decided to hurry up, grab Jenny, and get on home.  She was almost there anyway. Five minutes later, she jumped out of her car, and hurried up Johnny's front steps, rapping, with her hand, on the door.  He'd always told her to come right in, but she never felt comfortable letting herself into someone else's house, not even her own mother's.  When he didn't answer, she walked around the side of the house to see if he and Jenny were in the barn.  The horses were not in their pen, and the barn doors were shut tight against the cold wind, letting her know they were not out there.  She returned to the front door and knocked harder, listening closely for any sounds coming from inside.  All seemed quiet. "Come on, Johnny!" she whined, turning to scan the yard in case she'd missed seeing them outside.  The large front yard was as empty as it had appeared when she had driven in.  On the other side of the door, she could hear Johnny's old Golden Retriever start to paw at the doorknob.  The dog had been injured in an accident years before, and could not bark, so it had no way of announcing her arrival.  Joanne knocked again as hard as she could.  "Johnny?" she shouted to go along with it. Heavy footsteps thundered down the stairs inside, and she could hear him slide in his socks across the hard wooden floor, and right into the door.  She stepped back quickly as she heard the thump of his body, and tried to hide her smile before he managed to get it open. "Hi!" he grinned.  "Oh...watch out Kenosha," he added as the dog blocked him from pulling the door open the rest of the way.  Kenosha ducked between his legs, causing him to grab on to the door to keep from falling. "You okay?" "Yeah...here," he said opening the screen door for her. "Thanks," she replied, taking control of it and holding it open. "You're not coming in?"  He stood before her, arms folded across his bare chest, face red and panting from his race down the stairs to answer the door.  Cute as a bug's ear, she thought. "Actually," she replied stepping in and looking around the living room, "I've got to pick up Chris next, and I'm already..." "Oh...okay...ummm..." "Where is she?" "Upstairs.  She...I...she...I'll go get her.  Be right back," he promised, closing the door behind her, and turning to race back up the stairs. Joanne waited for what seemed like ages as she watched the minutes ticking by on her wristwatch. "Johnny?" she called finally, wanting to hurry them along, and wondering if he'd forgotten her all together.  In her mind, she could hear her neighbor, gossiping to all of her friends over Bridge about how disorganized Joanne DeSoto had become, couldn't even pick up her kids on time.  "Johnny?" she called again, starting up the stairs. "Now hold very still for me, okay?" she heard Johnny's muffled voice say from behind his nearly closed bedroom door. "I can't," five year old Jenny whined back. "Sure you can," Johnny encouraged softly. "Johnny?" Joanne called again, approaching the room. "Just a minute," Johnny snapped back quickly. As she pushed the door open, she could see his comforter, gently falling half into place on his bed. "Johnny, I've seen an un-made bed before," she teased. Johnny blushed, dimple-faced, at the floor.  "I know," he admitted, shooting Jenny a quick glance. "Hi, Mom," Jenny said sadly. "Well, Hi peanut," Joanne told her, as she noticed her daughter was wearing only her undershirt.  "How come you're not ready?  Where's your sweater?" "Over there," Jenny whined, pointing at a chair in the corner. "Well, put it on, Missy, it's cold outside." "I know," she answered, looking at the floor. "Now come on, Jenny, you've had an extra two hours here already.  It's time to pick up your brother." "Here, let me help you," Johnny offered, grabbing the sweater, and helping her to slip it on with ease. Joanne smiled at how her daughter automatically lifted her arms for him.  If she had tried to do that herself, just that morning, she would have been abruptly told that she could do it herself. "You got everything?" she asked as her daughter picked up her bag. "Yes," Jenny whined again, heading for the door. "Joanne?" Johnny called before she could follow her. "Yes?" "Ummm...you ah...she's been acting a little funny lately.  You may wanna keep an eye on her.  I don't think she's feeling good today.  She doesn't have a fever or anything, but.." "In what way..." Johnny frowned at her. "...doesn't she feel good," Joanne explained. "Oh...uhhh...like...she didn't want her riding lesson today.  As soon as I put her on her horse, she said she wanted off." "Really?" Joanne asked surprised.  That didn't sound like her daughter at all. "Yeah...so..." "So what did you do today?" "Oh...uhhh...just...stuff.  I just wanted you to know in case..." "You're gonna make a great mommy one day," Joanne teased, patting him on the cheek. Johnny chuckled and kicked at his door jam. "Don't worry, it's probably just a cold coming on.  I'll watch her." ~/~/~/~ Just as Johnny had said, Jenny acted like she didn't feel well the rest of the afternoon.  Joanne had never seen her in such a lousy mood before.  The past several months had seen her daughter act up off and on, but never as bad as it got that afternoon.  Still, every time she checked her daughter for a fever, or swollen glands, she seemed to be perfectly fine. "Enough, Jennifer!" she finally shouted when she caught the little girl taking her mood out on her brother.  The boy had been playing quietly with his cars in front of the stairs, and she swore her daughter had deliberately stepped on one to break it. "But, Mom!" Jenny cried. "He wasn't doing a thing to you," Joanne declared, "just go to your room until you can remember how to behave." "I hate you!" Jenny screamed at the top of her lungs, before running up the steps and slamming the door to her room. Christopher looked up at his mother, and quickly moved his cars out of the way, as if he expected her to explode into an equal fury, and race up the stairs after her.  When she didn't move, he put his cars away and walked out into the kitchen where she stood, feeling stunned. "Mom?" "Not now, Chris." "What's the matter with her?" "Oh, come on, like you've never had a temper tantrum?" she answered, forcing a smile, and ruffling his hair. "Not like that!" he insisted. Chris was right.  Not like that.  Neither of her kids had ever acted like that before. "I don't know, Chris, just...try to be extra nice to her for a while, okay?  She's...probably just coming down with a cold.  You know how miserable you feel when you're getting sick." Chris rolled his eyes.  If it was a cold, he thought she was taking an awfully long time to get it.  She'd been acting like a total brat forever.  He kept his opinion to himself and just nodded his head, hugging his mother around the waist. Moments later, Roy slammed his way through the door that lead to the garage, and into the house.  He'd spent the day chauffeuring his mother-in-law around for some last minute Las Angeles shopping, before taking her to the airport to fly home, something that always put him in a bad mood.  That was all Joanne felt she needed at the moment, him to be as grouchy as his daughter was being. "How'd it go?" Joanne dared to ask. Roy shook his head and poured himself a glass of milk before noticing his wife and son, standing in the middle of the kitchen, hugging one another. "What's going on?" "Oh, nothing," she told him, gesturing for Chris to go play.  "You hungry?" Roy nodded his head before taking his milk into the living room, and collapsing into a chair in front of the TV. "Right," Joanne muttered to herself as she pulled out some pots and pans.  Jenny could wait until after dinner.  She figured it would give her daughter some time to cool off, whatever was bothering her. "Go get your sister," she ordered Chris an hour later as she began to set the table. Chris opened his mouth to complain, but quickly snapped it shut again.  He hated the atmosphere he felt in the house, and he didn't want to add to it. Roy turned off the TV and stretched his way over to his place at the table. "Feel better?" "Oh yeah," he answered, smelling the food. "Sorry, Mommy," Jenny whispered, sliding carefully into her seat. "Huh?" Roy asked as he dished up Chris's plate. "So how was your riding lesson today?" Joanne asked, trying to sound up beat to let her daughter know she could forget it.  She kissed her forehead to check for a fever once more, but it still felt cool. "I didn't ride today," Jenny answered quietly. "Oh yeah, that's right," Joanne said, remembering what Johnny had told her. "What do you mean you didn't ride today?" Roy asked. "Didn't wanna." "Didn't wanna?" he asked, with total surprise. "I didn't..." "Ro-oy," Joanne cut in, warning him to back off. Roy frowned, wondering why horseback riding lessons were suddenly a touchy subject.  "Well, then what did you and Johnny do all day?" he asked. "Probably made him play tea party," Chris joked. "No I didn't!" Jenny shouted back. "What didja do then?" Roy asked, ignoring her tone, and shooting Chris a look. "Nothin," Jenny replied, staring at the food on her plate. "Well that must have been fun," Roy muttered.  He hated it when his kids answered like that, but he didn't have the energy left to dig any deeper.  "So, what did you do today," he asked, switching his attention to his son. "He played at Steven's across the street, remember?" Joanne asked. "And what did you do at Steven's?" "Played Pirates!" "Pirates?" "Yeah, we kept making Darin walk the plank!" "Darin?" "Chris!" his mother shouted at him. "He wanted to play mom!" "Darin..." Roy wondered. "Steven's little brother," Joanne filled in. "It was fun!" "Was it fun for Darin?" Joanne asked angrily. "Yeah," Chris whined, "he likes to jump off the bed." "Sounds like fun to me," Roy agreed. "I can see it now," Joanne grinned, "you and Johnny pushing Chet off the beds at the station." "Speaking of which...I've got to call him," Roy told her, getting up to use the phone in the living room. "Eat, Jennifer," Joanne commanded, noticing she had yet to touch her plate. "I'm tired," Jenny whined. "Well, if you're too tired to eat, maybe you should just go straight to bed." To her surprise, instead of taking the half-hearted bite of food that this conversation usually lead to, Jenny gingerly slipped off her chair, and headed back up to her room.  That was it.  Bed now meant no TV.  She was definitely not feeling well. "Where'd Jenny go?" Roy asked taking his seat again. "Up stairs.  How's Johnny?" "Get this, he's baby-sitting for Mike's kids now." "Really?" "Ever since he got that house, I swear he has kids over there all the time." "I think it has more to do with his horses than his house, Roy." "Anyway, I don't know who has more fun out there, him or the kids." "Him," Joanne laughed.  "I swear, you'd think a guy who'd found out he liked kids so much would settle down and have a few of his own." "Well, first he has to get more than three dates with the same girl." "Oh come on, he's not that bad, is he?" "Almost.  Besides, playing with someone else's kids and raising your own are two very different things." "Well, maybe some day," Joanne whispered to herself as her husband stood to answer the phone. "Can I watch TV now?" Chris asked holding up his clean plate. "Sure, go on." Chris bounded into the living room, happy he was going to get to pick a show without having to fight with his sister or beg his dad.  If his kids got to the TV first, Roy always let them finish watching what they'd started, so long as it didn't go past their bedtime. Joanne cleared the dishes and set them in the sink before heading up the stairs. "Jenny?" she asked, tapping on the little girl's door as she opened it.  Jenny sat on her bed, hugging her stuffed rabbit, and staring out the window.  "Jenny, what are you doing?" "Nothin'," she replied laying down on her side. "It's bath night you know." "Do I have to?" "You know you do.  It might even make you feel a little better." "No it won't," Jenny grumbled back. "Jennifer!" "Why can't I just take a bath tomorrow?" "Jennifer, loose the attitude before I get your father up here." "I'm not doing anything!" "Yes, you are.  Now get your pajamas and move that little butt of yours into the bathroom."  Joanne bit her tongue as Jenny obeyed by yanking open her top dresser drawer and throwing her pajamas on to her bed.  Instead of getting angry, she quietly forced herself to leave to go fill the tub.  "Come on, Jenny," she prompted, wondering why she was taking so long.  The girl appeared at the door, clutching her pajamas, and still completely dressed.  "You couldn't leave even you shoes in your room?" Joanne asked.  Jenny turned to go take them off. "Never mind.  Let's just get this done." "I can do it myself!" Jenny insisted as her mother began to tug off her sweater. "Well, do it then," Joanne told her. Jenny stared back at her. "Well?" "What?" "Get your clothes off." "I mean, I can take a bath by myself." "I know you can, but I have to wash your hair first, now don't I." "I can do it!" "No you can't, Jenny.  You don't get all of the shampoo out.  Let's just get your hair done, and then you can play." "I don't wanna play!" "I mean, you can take your bath, okay?  Now get your clothes off." "No." "What?" "I don't want to!" "Jennifer," Joanne started, taking matter into her own hands by beginning to undress the girl herself.  "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but it better stop." "Mommy!" "Don't, mommy, me!  Now get your panties off and get into the tub!" "But.." "Now!" "Joanne?" Roy called up the stairs. "Everything's fine, Roy," she shouted back down. When she turned back, Jennifer still stood there, back toward the tub, hands in front of her, and staring at the floor. "For God's sake Jennifer, can't you listen to me once tonight?"  Joanne undressed her the rest of the way, and put her in the tub.  "Sit down," she ordered, grabbing the shampoo. Jenny eased herself down to a sitting position, and Joanne began to lather her hair.  Jenny began to cry.  "Jennifer...what is the matter with you?" "It hurts!" "How can it hurt?  It's no where near your eyes!" Jenny continued to cry, wiggling around in the tub. "If you don't sit still, it will get in your eyes!" "Owww!" "Honey," Joanne complained, "I am not hurting you!"  Ignoring her daughter's growing sobs, Joanne decided to get her completely washed and be finished with it.  After thoroughly rinsing her hair, she quickly ran a soapy washcloth over her feet, legs, chest, back and arms.  After rinsing them too, there was only one place left to wash.  "Stand up," she ordered.  What she saw made her stop with the cloth in midair.  "Jennifer!" she cried, "what did you do you yourself?" "Nothing!" Jenny insisted starting to bawl. "Honey, why did you tell me you were hurt?  What did you do?" "Nothing!" "Jennifer, this is not, nothing!  How did you.." "I didn't do anything!" Jennifer screamed. "Honey, I need to know how you hurt yourself!" "I didn't!" "Jennifer...how did you hurt your bottom?  What happened?" she asked firmly. "I can't tell you!" "Why not?" "I can't!" "Jennifer.." "You won't believe me!" "Honey...just tell me what happened." "I can't!" "Joanne?" Roy called up again. "I'm handling it, Roy!" she shouted back in a tone that told him to keep out of it for now. Roy raised and dropped his eyebrows at the foot of the stairs before going back to the TV and raising its volume.  He didn't know what his daughter's problem had been the past few months, a phase probably, but if Joanne wanted to handle it, he was quite willing to let her. Upstairs, Joanne closed the bathroom door and wrapped her daughter with a towel, then sat on the closed toilet seat to face her. "I don't know what to do, Jenny.  I can't help you if you don't talk to me.  Did Chris push you down on something?" "No." "Did he.." "No!" "Then.." "I'll get into trouble!" "Jen.." "You won't believe me!" "Jenny, I'll believe you.  You just have to tell me." "He said you wouldn't believe me!  I'm not suppose to tell!" "Who said?" "I can't tell you!  You won't believe me!" "Jennifer.." "I don't wanna get in trouble!" "Jenny," Joanne whispered softly, trying to calm her down.  "I promise.  Whatever you tell me, I'll believe you." "No you won't!" "Who told you that?" "John!" "John?" "Yes, he said.." "What does Johnny have to do with.." "John!" "Honey..." "I knew you wouldn't believe me!" the girl screamed hysterically, crumpling to the floor. "I believe you!  I believe you, but..."  Joanne stopped as things began to fall into place in her mind.  Oh my God.  Oh my God...this isn't happening!  This is not happening! "You hate me!" Jenny shouted through her tears. "Never, Jenny, never!  It's not your fault!" she told her, pulling her into her lap and rocking her back and forth.  "It's gonna be all right, Jenny." "He'll kill me!  He said not to tell!  He said he'd kill you!" "Nobody's going to kill you, or me, or anyone.  Nobody's gonna hurt you again." "What about Daddy?" "No, not Daddy either.  Don't you worry, Jenny.  Everything's gonna be all right now, I promise." Jennifer continued to cry relentlessly as Joanne's head swam.  How could he?  Oh my God, how could he?  How could I have missed it? The past four years ran backwards in her mind.  Everything that man had done turned into something dirty and disgusting...every present, every kiss on her daughters cheek, all the times she'd crawled into his lap, and all the times he's offered to tuck the kids into bed.  Nausea climbed up the back of her throat.  It couldn't be true, not Johnny.  How could she have missed something like that for so long?  Yet her daughter said it had been John, and the marks on her bottom only made sense if someone had...Oh God...it had to be true.  Why else would her daughter be so hysterical? "Joanne?" Roy called out from in the hall. "Oh God...Roy?" "Joanne?  What's going on?" "Oh God," she whispered, that afternoon running through her head...Johnny, shirtless, her own daughter in nothing but her undershirt, both up in his bedroom...taking forever to answer the door, and then again to get her down the stairs.  He was dressing her, he had to have been.  She was certain now that he had been acting nervous the whole time she was there.  All that crap about Jenny not feeling well.  He'd even covered himself over Jenny accidentally mentioning she had not had her riding lesson that day, by telling her she'd felt too sick to ride.  His damn red face...and panting...Oh God...that God damned... "Joanne?" "Oh God, Roy..." "What?" he asked in a demanding tone. "Oh God...what did he hide in the bed?" "What?" "The bed, what did he hide in the bed?" "Who?" "Mommy?" "It's okay, Jenny." "Joanne, what is going on?" "I...I don't know...what...just...let me get Jenny to bed, okay?" "Oh.." "Mommy?" "It's okay, Jennifer," she told her, carrying her into her bedroom, "mommy's gonna be right out here in the hall with daddy.  I'll come back in, in just a minute." "But, Mommy.." "It's gonna be okay now, Jennifer.  Okay?" "Am I in trouble?" "Noooo...honey, no.  Not at all.  You're not in trouble at all." "But he said.." "He's a liar, Jenny, a big fat liar...and you never have to see him again...ever, okay?" "Really?" "Really, truly, cross my heart, Jenny.  You will never have to see him again." "Is he gonna be in trouble?" "I..." "Joanne!" Roy said getting frustrated. "For God's sake, just a minute, Roy, would ya?" Roy threw his arms into the air and went into his bedroom. "Yes, honey, Johnny's gonna.." "John." "John...is gonna be in some really big trouble." "Good!" "Does that make you feel better?" "Yes..." "Okay, I just need to go talk to your daddy, and then I'll be right back." "Mommy?" "Yes?" "Are you gonna tell him?" she asked, the tears again starting to fall. "Yes, Honey, we have to tell daddy, but I'll do it, okay?" "He's gonna hate me!" "No he's not, Honey, he's not gonna hate you at all." "Promise?" "I promise.  You didn't do anything wrong here, do you understand?  Johnny..." "John, you have to call him John, or he'll punch you in the nose." "He'll what?" Joanne shouted.  "No, Sweetheart, he...John did wrong, not you, okay?  Not you." "Okay." "I'll be right back, Sweetie." Joanne closed the little girls door shut part way and walked back down the hall into her bedroom. "What is going on, Joanne?" Roy demanded the moment she walked through the door. "Keep your voice down or she's going to think you're mad at her." "Well, what did she do?" "She didn't do anything, it's Johnny." "Johnny?  What did Johnny do?" he asked feeling whatever it was, Joanne was making a mountain of a molehill. "He...Oh God, I still can't believe it.  How could we have been so blind?" "Joanne," Roy said with an annoyed tone. "He...he's been...molesting her." Dead silence filled the room. "What?" Roy asked after a minute. "He's been.." "Don't be ridiculous, Joanne.  What do you mean by molesting?" "What do you think I mean?" she asked, sharply. "Jenny told you that Johnny molested her?  Where did she even learn a word like that?" "Noooo!" Joanne cried, pacing across the room and running her hands through her hair.  "She didn't say he molested her, just that he did it!  And he's been threatening her!  He actually told her he'd kill us if she told!" "Joanne, this is nuts!" "I know!  But it's true!" "What makes you think so?" "Roy, her bottom is all bloody and black and blue, like he...God, I don't even know what." "How do you know she didn't just hurt herself?" "Don't you think I thought of that?  She's absolutely terrified over getting in trouble, and us finding out about it.  Would she be terrified to tell us she fell down?" "No, but..." "She said he did it." "Johnny." "Yes!  Well, John, which I guess she's suppose to call him in private.  Oh God, Roy, what kind of sick little games has he been playing with her?" "So, she said John did it?" "Yes." "Are you sure she meant, Johnny?" "Well, I sure as hell don't know any other John, do you?  And she's over at his house all the time!  What other John has she been around?  There is only one!  And Roy, she was so terrified we wouldn't believe her.  He's got her convinced we're gonna hate her and she's gonna be in really big trouble." "This is ridiculous, Joanne," Roy said walking angrily out of his bedroom and into his daughter's.  Jenny had pulled the covers up over her head, and lay crying beneath them, clutching her rabbit.  His baby girls tear stained face melted his anger, and he simply pulled her into his lap.  "Honey...what did Johnny do...do Johnny do something?" "John, Roy," Joanne told him. Roy looked at her and she shrugged back. "Honey, did John hurt you?" "Yes!" "Where did he hurt you." "Her.." Joanne started. "My butt." "Let Daddy see what happened." "No," Jenny whined. "Honey, it's okay.  Remember, I'm a paramedic and it's okay to let me." Joanne glared at him from the doorway. Roy's breath caught in his throat. "Honey," Joanne took over, "Daddy's your Daddy.  You can let him see what happened.  I'm right here, Sweetheart." Jenny sobbed, but let her father pull her pajama bottoms down.  Roy frowned deeply at what he saw.  He couldn't believe his eyes.  "Okay, Honey...it's gonna be okay." "Are you mad?" Jenny cried as he started to leave the room. "Yes, Honey, I'm mad, but not at you, okay?" "Okay." Roy walked down the stairs and grabbed the phone.  "What are you doing?" "I'm calling the hospital and letting them know I'm bringing her in." "Then she really was.." "I don't know what the hell's going on, Joanne!  We'll let the hospital decide, okay?" "But.." "Just leave it for now, okay?  Please?" Joanne nodded.  If she felt as stunned as she did, she could only imagine what Roy was feeling. ~/~/~/~/~ "Doc?" Roy asked the moment the doctor stepped out of the examining room. "She's pretty bruised, but she'll be okay." "Was she...she wasn't.." "Yes, she was I'm afraid.  I don't know yet with what...something sharp enough to scratch her.  I've called for a children's psychologist to come in to talk to her.  One that's dealt with this sort of thing before.  She uh...she really said Johnny.." "I don't..." Roy started. "Yes," Joanne cut in. Dr. Brackett frowned deeply at the floor, shaking his head as if trying to clear it.  "We'll have to notify the police, Roy." "Look...now wait...she's five years old.  Don't you think we should make absolutely sure before we bring the police into this?" "Absolutely," Dr. Bracket agreed.  "Let's see what she tells the psychologist first...her story may change as she starts to feel more comfortable talking about it." "Roy," Joanne disagreed, "you weren't there.  If we start questioning her like we think she's lying...she needs us to believe her, Roy!  There is no reason in the world for her to make something like that up!  I wish to God there was but...why would she do that?  And, there is no denying what's happened to her...is there?" Dr. Bracket shook his head.  The evidence was clear.  That part was certain. Roy started to shake his head the way the doctor had done minutes before.  "Joanne...there is just no way Johnny could...that something like that could have been going on with out our knowing about it!" "Well, something did happen that we didn't know about, didn't it!" "All right now, stop," Dr. Bracket ordered.  "This is the last thing Jenny is going to need.  When she sees you, she better not see any anger, or she'll start to feel certain, no matter what you may tell her, that you really are mad at her.  You two need to be on the same side here...her side." "I'm not taking sides, Doc," Roy argued, "I just can't believe that.." Dr. Bracket sighed loudly, cutting him off.  "Neither can I, Roy, but...I don't know.  Let's just focus on Jenny until the doctor gets here and has a chance to talk to her." Roy sighed again, shaking his head at the wall.  It's couldn't be true, and the sooner they got this mess ironed out, the better.  One thing was for sure; if he ever got his hands on the person who had done it...he'd kill them. ~/~/~/~/~ The children's doctor had been in the room for over 20 minutes already, just making small talk with Jenny and her mother.  Roy had been asked by the doctor to wait outside, being a male.  She was afraid the little girl might not be as open with her, with her father in the room, yet wanted the mother to help the girl feel safe with her at the beginning.  Roy was becoming more and more impatient as he strained to listen at the door to the three of them talking about Kermit the Frog. "Your mother told me something really bad happened to you," the doctor said. "Finally," Roy hissed under his breath. "Is that true?" "Yes," Jenny agreed quietly, without quite half the volume she'd used to answer the question just before. "Can you tell me who hurt you?" "Yes." "Who?" "It's okay, Jenny," Joanne encouraged when Jenny hesitated to answer. "John," she whispered, "but I wasn't suppose to tell." "John," the doctor repeated, "did uh, did he tell you to call him John?" "Yes...he said if I called him Johnny App...he said...he said, if I didn't call him John, he'd punch me in the nose." Roy furrowed his forehead in confusion.  Punch her in the nose?  Why would an adult...using words he'd know she'd understand.  This just wasn't happening.  He couldn't believe this was happening. "Can you tell us what he did?" "No," Jenny pouted. "It's okay to tell me, Jenny, I'm on your side.  We really need to know exactly what happened.  Can you be really brave for me, and just answer a few more questions?  I think you can." "Mommy..." "It's okay, Jenny.  You didn't do anything wrong.  There's nothing to be ashamed about.  Just tell us what you remember, that's all we want.  You can do it." "I don't wanna." "How 'bout you tell Mr. Bear," the doctor asked, "and we can just listen." Roy could hear Jenny sigh loudly inside.  Every part of him wanted to rush into the room, scoop her up, and take her home where she'd be safe and warm, safe from anything like this ever happening again.  Why couldn't he have kept her safe the first time! "Okay, Jenny, I'm just gonna ask some questions then, and you just tell me yes or no.  Can you do that?" "Yes." "Good, now uh...did John...ever...pull your pants down, or off?" "No.  He told me to do it." Roy shook his head in anger. "Did he touch you?" "Yes." "Where?" Jenny sighed. "Your privates?" "Yes." "Did he...did you ever show you his privates?" "This is not happening!" Roy said to himself, thumping his forehead hard against the door jam as he listened. "Yes." "Did he ever put his...privates in your bottom?" "No...he rubbed it on me." Joanne's breath caught in her throat. "Jenny, how did you bottom get so bruised?" "A stick." "A stick?" "He kept trying to..." Roy slammed his fist into the wall and raced from the hospital to his car parked outside Emergency.  He looked at his watch and couldn't believe the time.  They had spent the entire night at the hospital, waiting for this doctor to show up.  She hadn't arrived until seven that morning, and it was now nearing eight...eight o'clock.  He knew exactly where that son of a bitch was. "Call the police," Dr. Bracket ordered as saw whose car it was speeding away. ~/~/~/~/~ "It was fantastic, Chet, you should have seen it!" "I don't believe a word of it, Gage, northerns don't even get that big! "Well, this one was, and that same lake is exactly where I'm going fishing tomorrow!" "Talk about fish is not allowed in this station, Gage," Cap ordered good-naturedly. "Oh come on, Cap.  If you'd just try.." "Hey, Roy," Marco greeted.  "We were beginning to wonder if you were.." "Mornin' Roy!" Johnny greeted. "Son of a bitch!" Roy screamed, grabbing him and slamming him back against his locker. "Roy.." "I'll kill you!" he continued, slamming him against it again. "Roy...I...what.." "Roy, let him go!" Mike shouted, trying to get in between the bench and the lockers to break it up. "Roy, stop it!" Chet yelled as Roy pounded his best friend against the locker again and again.  "You son of a bitch!  How could you?  How could you?  I trusted you!" "Roy!" Cap shouted, trying to pry him off. "How could you do that to her?" "Roy..." Johnny managed to get out, holding tightly on to the two fists that had a hold of his shirt.  "I don't..." "Jesus, Roy, stop it!  You'll kill him!" Marco screamed. "I will kill him!" Roy agreed, kicking at Johnny's leg as they managed to pull him off, and the darker paramedic began to sink to the floor. "Break it up!  Break it up!" Vince ordered as he came through the door with some other officers.  "Roy, get it together!" "You get it together!" Roy shouted back, angrily. "Johnny, stand up," Vince told him, tugging him up by the arm. "I..." he panted. "Just stand up.  You're under arrest." "Arrest?" Chet shouted.  "Roy was the one that came in here like.." "Sir," Vince warned, "you're gonna need to stay out of our way, or you're liable to be arrested too, for obstruction of justice." "You...you've got to be kidding!" "I don't think he's kidding, Chet," Cap told him flatly, "just stay back out of their way." "But.." "Roy..." Johnny puffed as Vince started to move him out once he slapped on a pair of handcuffs. "Shut up, Johnny!" Roy ordered, stabbing his finger toward the other man's face.  "Don't talk to me.  Don't you even look at me!  If you ever get out of jail, I swear to God I'll be putting you into a grave!" The shocked and nightmare stricken look on his partner's face meant nothing to him as the man was hustled out to a waiting squad car. "You better cool it!" Vince told Roy as he started to leave. "Do you know what.." "Yes!  I know what we're arresting him for.  But unless you wanna join him, you better get a hell of a lot better hold of yourself than you've got." "If it was your.." "My daughters have been alone with him too, Roy, but a man is innocent until he's proven guilty.  And it's my job to see that he stays in one piece until he gets a trial.  If he gets bail, and I catch you anywhere near him, I'll bust you, just like I did him.  That clear?" "He won't get bail." "I'm sayin' if," Vince warned as he walked out the door. Four sets of eyes stared at the back of Roy's head, waiting for an explanation. "Roy?" Cap spoke, breaking  the silence, "what's going on?" "I can't work today, Cap, you'll have to call someone in," Roy replied before starting for the parking lot. "Roy!" Cap shouted after him, "What happened?" "He...just...read about it in the paper," he hissed, not turning back. Chet threw his arms in the air in disbelief, and started to go after Roy. "Chet!" Cap ordered, "get back here." "But...don't you wanna know what's going on?" "Yes...but going after Roy right now doesn't  look like a very good way to do it." "How can he not tell us what's going on?" "We'll find out.  In the mean time, we better get to work.  I've got some calls to make." "Who are you gonna call?" Chet asked, following him like a puppy, to his office door. "Whoever I can find to come in!" "Oh...but what about Johnny?" "There's nothing I can do about that right now.  We'll find out when we find out." "But.." "Hoses, Chet," Cap told him, closing his door. "Don't you think this is nuts?" Chet demanded of Marco seconds later. Marco shook his head and began to pull down some hose to scrub. "There has got to be a way to find out what's going on.  Mike?" "I don't know...call the Police Department?" "Do you think they'll tell me?" "No." "Yeah...you're a big help!" ~/~/~/~/~ "Can you tell me when the first time was that he touched you there?  How long ago?" Roy heard a woman ask as he approached the door of the room. "Oh, God," Roy plead quietly as he stopped before going in. "I don't know...forever." "A long time ago then?" Roy frowned, he was sure the woman's voice was different from the one he heard earlier.  Quietly he opened the door to see inside. "Yeah..." Jenny agreed in tired frustration.  "Daddy!" she shouted upon seeing him in the doorway. "Hi, honey." "I'm sorry, we're not quite through yet.  Could you wait outside?" "Excuse me?  Who are you?" Roy asked, growing more and more angry by the second. "Roy, this is Officer Lang and Assistant DA Judith Curly," Joanne explained as she leapt up off the bed to try to keep him from coming any further into the room. "What are they doing here?" he asked.  The site of the four adults surrounding his tiny little girl in that hospital bed had him mad enough to toss them all out the window, including his wife. "They're asking her some questions." "Why?" "Because, they have to, Roy!" "Now?" "We want to get her story together while it's still fresh in her mind," the Assistant DA explained.  "That way we can help her keep from forgetting things before the trial.  Do you know if they've arrested the.." "Stop right there!  Outside!" Roy ordered Joanne. "Daddy?" Jennifer cried, as they started to step into the hall. "Yes, Honey, what do you want?  Do you need anything?  Can I get you something?" "When can I go home?" "Um...soon, Honey, real soon.  Just let me." "Roy!" Joanne snapped. "What?" Roy asked her innocently.  "Honey," he continued turning back to his daughter, "let me talk to Dr. Brackett, okay?  I'll take you home just as soon as he'll let me, okay?" "Okay," Jenny answered with patience beyond her years.  Roy turned to hide the tears starting to stream down his face.  All he'd ever wanted to do was to keep his family well cared for and safe.  He felt every bit of innocence had been cruelly stolen from his child.  "I'll be right back, Jenny," he promised without turning back around. "Okay, Daddy." Out in the hall, Roy covered his eyes with his hand, trying to keep the world from seeing his tears of shame.  "How could you let them all in there, Joanne?" Roy hissed when she tried to hug him. "What?" "How could you.." "What!  They.." "You're all ganging up on her!" "Oh don't be ridiculous!" "Joanne, she doesn't need to be hounded by twenty adults all at the same time." "We weren't hounding her!  I'm her mother!  The ADA came in with an officer to ask some questions, and the psychologist stayed to make sure they didn't push her too far!  If you hadn't taken off out of here like a bat out of hell, to do God only knows what, you would know that!" "Roy," Dr. Brackett cut in, placing a remarkably gentle hand on the other man's back. "Yeah," Roy shot out, trying to cover himself. "Do you wanna use my office to.." "No.  Thanks, I'm fine." "Well, any time you need to.." "When can I take her home?" "Home?" "Yeah, she want's to go home." "They're not finished yet, Roy," Joanne reminded him as she glanced over at the three people, waiting a little impatiently for them to finish. "Well," Dr. Brackett said taking note of them as well, "you can consider her released, Roy.  You can take her home as soon as you're ready to go.  I believe one of the nurses has already given Joanne some ointment for you daughter's...for your daughter...and I feel you're more than capable of treating her at home yourself.  Of course if there are any problems at all, bring her right back, and we'll take good care of her.  I am going to suggest...strongly...that you set something up with the psychologist for some therapy for her...and uh...you and Joanne might want to look into that too, for yourselves." Roy glared at the floor. "It's just a suggestion." "So I can take her home?" "Yes." "Roy..." Joanne started, grabbing him by the arm before he could get into Jenny's room. "Whatever they want, they can wait.  She's tired and she wants to.." "Actually it can't wait.  The longer we do, the less accurate her story may become.  We just need to finish getting her statement," the ADA jumped in. "Her statement?  She's five years old for God's sake!" "Getting answers to our questions.  You do want the man in question to be prosecuted, don't you?" Roy sighed at the wall. "Sir?" "Yes...I do." "We'll try to finish this as quickly as possible," the ADA promised as she and the others went back into the room. "Where will you be?" Joanne asked. "Mommy?" Jenny called unhappily. "Get in there." "Roy, where will you be?" "Right here!" "You won't take off again?" "No!" "Mommy!" "I'm right here, Sweetie," Joanne called hurrying into the room and giving Roy a cautious look before closing the door behind her. The tired man rubbed at his eyes, and tried to find a place to sit down not too far away.  The nurse's desk was the closest place that had a chair, all be it, it was really just a stool.  Roy sighed as he sat, giving his legs a much needed break.  With his eyes closed, he began to focus in on all of the sounds around him.  It seemed everybody already knew.  There was so much hissed whispering going on around him, he started to feel like he'd fallen into a pit of snakes.  After the twentieth time he heard the hushed words of "Johnny" and "Roy's daughter", Roy leapt to his feet and glared defiantly at every face he saw, as if daring someone to utter those words again.  When no one did, he decided to go for a walk and get some air. "Roy?" Dixie called, but he did not hear her before escaping out the door. 'You want me to get him?" Dr. Morton offered setting down a patient's chart. "No...no.  Let him go.  I wouldn't know what to say to him anyway." "Yeah," the doctor agreed whole-heartedly. "I still can't believe it.  We've all know Johnny for years." "Yeah, that's true.  But that's what the people always say, isn't it?" "What?" "That the guy seemed normal.  That they just couldn't believe it.  That he seemed like just some really nice guy that everyone liked, but.." "So, you like Johnny?" Dr. Morton raised his eyebrows.  "Did like...not any.." "That's funny.  Johnny always felt you hated him." "He did?" "Well, at first.  Later on I guess he got used to you.  You have to admit, you gave him a pretty hard time sometimes when he first became a paramedic."  Dixie shook her head.  "It's hard to believe how many years have gone by since then.  How many has it been...four?" "Around there," Mike agreed. "I just don't get it.  We would have noticed something, wouldn't we...in all that time?  Beside, Johnny dates all the time!  I don't think there's a single pretty nurse around here who hasn't been out with him at least once!" "Yeah...well...seems that Gage likes all the pretty girls." "I still can't believe it," Dixie whispered at her chart. ~/~/~/~/~ "So what did the doctor say?" Roy asked the moment his wife and daughter came through the front door from the little girl's first session. "He uh...Jenny, go on up and get ready for dinner." "But.." "Now, please." "I hate it when you talk about me!" Jenny pouted on her way up the stairs. Roy smiled, his daughter seemed to be getting a little bit back to normal. "She said she doesn't really seem to understand the uh...well...the gist of what he did to her." "Huh?" "She doesn't really relate it to sex at all." "How can she not?" "I don't know.  She just says that he was mean to her.  She really doesn't understand what's happened beyond that." "And..." "Well, the lady seems to think it's a good thing.  That she'll forget about it more quickly and just get back to her normal life.  She thinks we should just give her some time at home...especially since I don't work, and just let her get to feeling safe again.  She wants her to have some more sessions, but she doesn't want to over do it.  If Jenny is willing to put this behind her fairly quickly, she says we should let her, but also let her know any time she wants to talk about it, she can." "So...school?" "Home for now...maybe in a couple of weeks." "What about all the legal stuff?" "She doesn't like that.  She says that seeing the man get punished for it should be a good thing for her, but...she want's to make sure they're not constantly asking her questions.  The ADA promised to try to get Jo...him a short court date to help." "Lucky him," Roy muttered. ~/~/~/~/~ Jenny woke late in the morning again, and began to get dressed.  She liked not having to get up for school, but it had been a while now, and she was beginning to get bored with her days.  She noticed the little calendar she had made at school sitting on her desk.  Her teacher had helped her write all the big month words, and her mother had added little pictures to it once she had brought it home, but she'd done the hard part all by herself.  She'd cut out the construction paper, made all the little squares, and neatly as she could, wrote in ALL the numbers by herself, and even used the hole punch so she could push the little brackets through to hold it all together.  Looking at it, she realized she had forgotten to draw in her x's for quite some time.  "Mom?  What number is it?" "What?" Joanne laughed up the stairs, so much for a 'Good morning'. "What number is it?" "Is what?" "Today." "Oh...uh...the eighteenth." "What?" Jenny screamed back confused. "Eighteen!" Joanne shouted giggling. "Okay!"  Jenny ran back to her room and started to cross out her day's up to eighteen, which she promised herself she'd remember to do before going to bed that night.  As she drew her x's, she saw she'd missed two piano lessons, and four ballet lessons.  How her mother could have forgotten them, she did not know.  She didn't mind crossing out the little pianos on her calendar, but drawing the x across the little ballerinas made her sad.  Two more x's and her mood changed.  A pony was drawn on the square with an eighteen.  Jenny happily slipped out of her dress and into a pair of jeans and her cowboy boots. "Well, you're happy this morning," Joanne smiled.  Roy put the paper down to look at his grinning daughter. "I forgot you were off today," Jenny smiled. Roy grinned and pulled her into his lap as Joanne poured her a bowl of cereal. "I'm off today too," Chris announced setting his car down on the table and taking a seat. "Again?" Joanne smiled. "I'm hungry!" "Feed the boy," Roy winked. "Car off the table at least?" Chris dropped the car to the floor. "I know you're off today too," Jenny announced, "cause it's Saturday, number 18, right?" "It sure is peanut." "Yippee!" "Yippee?  I think you're one line below where you need to be on your calendar Hon, Christmas is another week yet." "I know, but today is horseback riding day!" Joanne lost her smile and Roy choked on his coffee. "Umm...Jenny...you...you're not riding today!" "Why?" Jenny pouted, "I'm tired of taking a break." "You wanna go back to school Monday?" Joanne asked.  "Whenever you feel like you wanna go, the doctor said you could you know." Jenny frowned.  No, she didn't want to go back to school, not at all, maybe not ever.  "I can only take riding lessons if I go to school?" she asked unhappily. "Honey...there aren't going to be any more riding lessons." Jenny stared sadly at her cowboy boots.  "Because of what happened?" Joanne looked at her husband, but he seemed as lost as she was.  "Yes Honey, because of what happened." "Uncle Johnny's mad, huh." Roy scratched his head vigorously.  "Yes, Honey, I guess he probably is mad.  But that is his problem, not yours." "Can't I just go say I'm sorry?" "No...Honey...you can't.  You...you have nothing to be sorry for." "Then why is he mad?" "Cause...because...he'd be mad because you told I guess," Roy answered feeling flabbergasted. Jenny sighed and went back to her room to take off her boots and put them back into the closet.  Johnny had given them to her the year before when he had built/fixed his house, as she had come to understand it.  Once the house was built/fixed, he'd gotten the horses, three of them, and had bought her the cowboy boots so she could ride them, when it wasn't even Christmas or her birthday.  But now she wouldn't need them any more, all because she'd been a tattletale. "Can you explain that to me?" Roy asked downstairs. "I don't know!" Joanne shouted in frustration. Chris quietly slipped out the door.  He hated in when his parents yelled. "I guess she's just forgiven him already.  That's what we've taught her, isn't it?" "I guess!" Roy answered angrily. "Now think about it.  The doctor said she didn't make any connection about what happened to sex.  As far as she's concerned, Johnny was just mean...and...hurt her.  Now when Chris hurt her, hit her or whatever, what did you make her do?" "First we make him say he's sorry..." "..and then we tell her to forgive him, don't we.  She's just doing what we've taught her to do, Roy." "But, this is different!" "She doesn't know that!" Roy thumped his fist on the table. "It's a good thing, isn't it?" Joanne asked "Yes...yes...it's a good thing.  Our daughter has a very forgiving heart.  But don't ever expect me to be able to do that!" Joanne watched her husband leave out the door for a walk, one of many he'd taken in the past two weeks. ~/~/~/~/~ "Hey doc, uh...we got one for ya," a police officer said accosting one of the doctors in the hall. "Come again?" Dr. Early asked. "An in-mate from the prison, took a punch in the face." Johnny gazed around Emergency with a lost expression, and a great deal of blood covering his mouth and chin. "What happened?" "Jail got full, so they transferred this one to the prison.  I guess someone in there doesn't like child molesters." "I swear, I..." Johnny stammered. "Tell it to the judge, guy.  Where you do want him?" "I'll take it, Joe," Dr. Brackett cut in angrily when he saw who it was.  "Three," he ordered the officer.  The policeman happily complied by guiding his prisoner into the room by the arm. "Cuffs off, please," Brackett requested in a professional tone.  "Lay back," he ordered Johnny the moment they were off. "Doc?  I.." "It's clotting already.  Carroll, clean him up and get me some ringers with normal saline.  You not give them anything to drink in there?" Brackett asked the officer. The man shrugged.  "I'm sure they do.  The new ones sometimes have a bit of a hard time uh...keeping it down...so to speak." "Been vomiting," Brackett muttered to himself. "Doc..." Johnny croaked. "I'll do it, Carroll," the doctor told her, taking he needle. "Doc?  I swear...there's been a huge mistake.  I never.." "Quiet." "Please.  I swear... I would never.." "Just shut up, Johnny." "But.." he choked as the sting from the least gently applied syringe he had ever received was pushed into his arm. "When he finishes that, you can take it out and send him back," Kel instructed with a nod of his head toward the suspended bag of ringers.  He ignored the sound of someone choking on tears, running to the back of the throat, and continued his way out the door.  "Carroll," he added, pausing for just a moment, "sit him up so he doesn't...just sit him up." "Yes, Doctor." Dixie tilted her head, and gazed up at the dark-haired doctor, after he'd blocked her way from catching the closing door, and going in.  "Excuse me," she spoke expectantly. "He's already being treated." "Good, I'll just go in and.." "I think the best thing for you to do is find some place else to be." "Now, Kel, he hasn't even been convicted yet.  A man is innocent until.." "Stop it, Dix.  You saw as well as I did, what he did to that little girl." "If it was him." "She said it was.  Do you really think she would lie?" "No, I don't think she would lie, but.." "No, she wouldn't.  Not about that," he told her before getting out of her way. Dixie pushed the door open just enough to see inside.  The familiar face was well hidden behind a familiar arm throw over it.  Jagged breathing gave away the most probable reason why.  "Dix," a voice called from down the hall.  "We need you in one...stat." Dixie let the door quietly close, and by the time she came back, he was gone. ~/~/~/~/~ "You're really sending her to school tomorrow?" Roy asked on the phone from the station. "She wants to go, Roy." "I know she wants to, but.." "The doctor said to let her, when she feels ready to go." "Yeah, but she's not psychic is she?  She's our daughter, and I.." "That's right, Roy, she's our daughter.  I'm the one who's been home with them day after day since they were born.  I'm the one who's been with her all the time, every moment she's sick, through every sickness." "This isn't a sickness, Joanne." "I'm the one who sees all her moods, and all the changes." "You missed one." "Look, Roy, he was your friend, not mine!  You were the one who brought him into this house.  You were the one..." "I know..I Know!" "Oh God, Roy, I'm sorry!  I didn't mean it." "Forget it." "No, Roy, I'm sorry.  I really am.  We both missed it.  We both did.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean it, really." "Just drop it, please." Roy turned around to see all the eyes staring at him, wishing deeply that he had made the call from the dorm and not the kitchen.  The other's had the courtesy to look away and at least pretend to not be listening, all except for Chet, who couldn't seem to focus his eyes anywhere else. "Look, if she wants to go, wait till I get home, and we'll take her together." "She'd be late, Roy and it wouldn't be what's normal for her.  Normal is only one of us taking her, and not getting there after all the other kids are there, and in their seats." "Do you really think she'll be okay not being with you...or me...all day?" "I'm going to stop in the office and let them know that she's to be allowed to call me to come get her any time she wants, okay?" "I guess," he agreed reluctantly. ~/~/~/~/~ "You ready?" Joanne asked as Jenny slipped on her backpack the following morning. "Yeah." "You got your present?" "Yep!" Jenny smiled remembering what she'd gotten the little girl whose name had been draw for her in class.  Joanne knew the Christmas party in her classroom that day was probably the only reason her daughter wanted to go, but she felt if it got her in school again, it could only be a good thing.  Hopefully the other kids would be too caught up in the excitement of their gifts and games to ask her too many questions, as to why she'd been gone for so long.  She'd instructed Jenny tell them she hadn't been feeling well for a long time, but that she was feeling better now.  "In the car," Joanne prompted holding the door open.  Jenny jumped into the way back, and settled in.  Usually that was Joanne's cue to tell her to move up into the seat, but today she let it slide.  "Come on, Chris!" Joanne shouted looking at her watch. Chris raced down the stairs like a bolt of lightening. "What happened to your present?" Joanne asked.  She had wrapped it for him the night before, but now it looked like a rabid animal had gotten a hold of it. Chris grinned shyly.  "I just wanted to look at it again." "Uh huh.  Is that one of the things you asked Santa to get you this year?" "You know it is, Maaa," Chris grinned. "Is that so...in!" "Can we ride in the back?" Chris exclaimed, seeing his sister. "Today...but don't get used to it." "Coooool!" he shouted.  All the way to school, he waved at every one he thought might know him...from the way back in the station wagon. "Mom?" Jenny called climbing forward into the back seat. "Jenny!  Sit down!  It's not safe to move around like that!" "I'm sorry," she said sitting.  "Mom?" "Yes?" "Is...John won't be there, right?  Cause he's in jail?" Joanne felt her breath rush out of her body.  They'd never told her about the arrest, but obviously she'd managed to pick it up from them anyway.  "Yes, Honey, Jo...he's in jail." "So he won't be at school?" "Honey...did he tell you he'd get you at school or something?" "Yes," Jenny told her. Joanne choked back angry tears.  "Well, he can't, Honey.  He's put away, so you don't have to worry, okay?" "Okay." Joanne shook her head.  One day the child wanted to go see him, and then days later, she's afraid to again.  As she watched Jenny start up the sidewalk toward her room, it was all Joanne could do not to run after her.  "She'll be all right...she'll be all right," she chanted in her head.  Jenny turned back to wave, and Joanne forced a bright smile to wave back.  "God, she hoped she'd be all right." ~/~/~/~/~ The morning passed by agonizingly slow, but eventually when Joanne looked up from trying to fold the laundry, it was finally noon.  Her daughter would be going to lunch, after that, the rest of the day would be the party.  Jenny had made it.  The party would be nothing but fun, and then she'd be home.  Looking at the clothes in front of her, she had to laugh; they looked like the dog had done the folding.  With a relieved sigh, Joanne began to fold everything again. Half on hour later the phone rang, startling her out of her skin.  "Roooy," she hissed to herself, "one of these day's I'm gonna tell them to take all the phones out over there, so you can't do that to me.  Hell-oh-oh," Joanne said teasingly as she picked up the receiver. "Mrs. DeSoto?" "Yes?" Joanne frowned. "We need you to come down to the school right away." "What happened?  Did Chris fall.." "No, Jenny is...Jenny is hysterical.  She wants you.  She won't let the Paramedics touch her...she.." "Oh God, don't let them touch her!" she shouted, trying to imagine how terrified her daughter probably now was of them.  "I'll be right there!" the story continues .