Having pulled her favorite chair over next to the living room window, JoAnne curled up in it and stared out the window when Roy arrived home from work. "Hi Jo," he said walking toward his wife.  He kissed her on the top of her head and gave her shoulder a squeeze before sitting down on the arm of the chair. "Roy." Just from hearing her voice, the slight quiver, he knew something was wrong. Placing his fingers on her chin, he turned her head so he could look into her face. He could see the salty streaks that had dried on her cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, his own voice betraying him. "I went to Dr. Goldman today." "Are you okay? What did he find?"  Roy's concern grew, fearing the worse. Not wanting to delay the enviable, JoAnne looked Roy, right in the eyes.  "Roy, I'm pregnant." That was the last thing he thought he'd hear coming from his wife's lips. They hadn't even started the procedure that would eventually give his daughter another child. Visions of menopause or something worse, a health issue had entered his mind.  "You're pregnant?" Roy replied, his eyes wide with shock.  "How, I mean I know how, but when?" "As best as I can figure, it was the weekend Kaitie Roo slept over." "Oh my god."  Roy replied in disbelief, but realized it was true remembering the night in question.  He stood and walked over to his chair. After sitting down, he sighed heavily absorbing what he was just told. His thoughts drifted back to earlier while he and Johnny were on a break from work. As they talked about their pending parentage and grand parentage, Roy could see the delight in Johnny's face as he spoke about giving Kaitlin a little brother or sister. 'You know Roy, after Jen had her hysterectomy I thought…I let my hope for more children vanish from my mind. And now, thanks to you, 'my best friend', 'my father-in-law' Johnny chuckled over those words, still not really believing them, 'I'm gonna be a dad again. I can never thank you enough for this gift you and JoAnne are giving me, giving Jen. You're the best friend any man could ever have.' "I don't know what to do, Roy."  She looked over at him and started crying again.  Getting up, he walked over to her and put his arms around her. He held his wife and tried to conjure up an idea that would cause the least amount of heartache for them all. He hated to disappoint Jen and Johnny knowing their hearts and minds were already set for this miracle, the last chance either of them would have. After several minutes of silence, Roy spoke up.  "If you want to have an abortion, Jo, I'll support you 100% of the way. We'll just tell Jen that the doctor said you're medically not fit to do this, cause of your age or something.  We'll think of something." She looked up, shock registering her face.  "How can you even suggest that? You know how I feel about life, especially a life that is growing inside of me." Roy nodded already regretting his words. He remembered a similar conversation they had thirty years before when they found themselves unexpectedly expecting their first child. Even then, neither of them could go through with taking an innocent life, even if that unexpected arrival was going to put a tremendous strain on their lives. Not once in the thirty years did Roy ever regret his decision as he watched his son grow; turning from a helpless infant into the man he is today. "I can't do that."  She shook her head no as the tears fell from her eyes. Taking a deep breath, Roy said, "So you want to have this baby." JoAnne couldn't speak, but shook her head yes. 'I'm going to be a father, again.  I'm going to have to change diapers, again.  I'm going to have to do 2:00am feedings again.  I'm going to have to put another child through college again.' Roy thought about all of this, but couldn't say anything, considering how upset JoAnne was. 'Am I ready for this experience? I'm not in my twenty's anymore. And I certainly don't have the endless amount of energy Johnny always has.' "Okay Jo. We'll have the baby and we'll think of something to tell the kids." Roy replied pulling his wife into a tight embrace. 'Johnny a kid, my kid, I guess he always has been from the first day I brought him home. JoAnne sniffled and then chuckled, "I'm going to be the only pregnant 44 year old woman on campus. Roy, I'm so relieved that you'll accept this." He shrugged his shoulders.  "What else can I do, Jo?  I love you.  You know that." "What are we going to do about Jennifer and Johnny?" "I don't know Jo.  I really don't know, but we'll think of something." E! E! E! E! JoAnne invited Johnny, Jenny and Kaitlin over for dinner so she could break her news to them.  She knew it wasn't going to be easy.  Everyone was going to take the news poorly, but she made up her mind to have this baby and Roy was in total support of her. While JoAnne was preparing dinner, Chris was spending his early evening in the KTLA newsroom, watching Meg Hall.  She invited him to watch how the news was done.  It was an eye opening experience for Chris. After Meg did her report, she was available until 9PM when she had to return to the station for the 11PM news. Meg walked out of the studio and walked over to Chris who was waiting for her. "Wow Meg.  That was an interesting experience.  Never knew that so much goes on behind the scenes at a station."  He placed a kiss on her cheek. Meg blushed at Chris' action.  "I guess I'm just used to it so I don't see the big deal."  Her comment was a bit ridiculing. Chris looked at her and saw her joke.  "Come on.  I know a nice place for dessert."  He pulled himself closer to her and wrapped his arms around her back. "Dessert?"  Meg pushed back from Chris' hold. "Okay, coffee and dessert."  A smile appeared on his face. "Chhhrrrriiiissss.  Where are you taking me?" "My mom invited me over for dinner.  My sister will be there too.  I figured I could introduce you to everyone." Meg stiffened. "Are you okay?  Are you ready for this?" "You kind of surprised me Chris."  After thinking about it for several seconds she said,   "Sure Chris, I'd love to meet your family." E!E!E!!EE! The four adults and one child were sitting at the formal dinner table eating a nice dinner.  However, JoAnne was pushing her food around her plate.  Every time she looked at Jenny, she saw how radiant she looked.  She knew her daughter was happy with the expectation of having a new child.  The news JoAnne was going to share with them would break her daughter's heart. The dinner was cleared of dishes and coffee was brewing, when Chris came in. "Chris?  What brings you here?"  JoAnne asked.  "I thought you couldn't make it.  Come in and close the door." "Well, I want you all to meet someone……"  Chris nervously led Meg into the house.  "Everyone, this is Meg Hall." Everyone stood up to meet her.  Roy shot JoAnne a look.  Jenny smiled and Johnny was a bit amazed. "Meg, this is my father, Roy DeSoto."  Meg looked at Roy and saw who Chris resembled; both men shared the same physical stature. "Nice to meet you Mr. DeSoto."  He extended his hand and they shook. "Please, call me Roy."  He had a nice grin on his face, Meg thought. "This is my mom, JoAnne DeSoto."  The two women shook hands.  Meg's first impression was that JoAnne was a bit distant, reserved. "This is my sister, Jennifer, DeSoto Gage." "Hi Meg." "Hi Jennifer."  Jennifer was all smiles during the introduction. "And this guy," pointing to Johnny, "is my brother-in-law, John Gage." "Hello Meg." "Nice to meet you John."  She checked Johnny out, remembering something Chris said to her earlier; about meeting Johnny she'd know why his sister found him irresistible.  'He is a good looking man and I can see why Jennifer would be captivated by him.' "What about me?"  Kaitlin asked as she stood right by her uncle. Chris bent down and picked her up into his arms and placed a kiss on her cheek.  "And this little lady is the little love in my life, Kaitlin." "Hello Kaitlin.  Chris has told me so much about you!" "You on TV?" Meg blushed, "yes I am on TV." "You do look familiar."  Johnny said. "Meg does the About Town segment on KTLA.  That's how I met her, when she did the story last year on the paramedic program, twenty years later." "After Chris told me about his heritage, about being a paramedic's son, I thought about doing a story about you, Mr. DeSoto, but it wasn't the best time to do so…."  She trailed off, not mentioning that she knew the story about Kaitlin's kidnapping. Even though the kidnapping and the child's return were headlines in the news, at the time when Meg met Chris, she never associated the names DeSoto and Gage as the family of the missing little girl. It wasn't until Chris recently opened up and told her, that she remembered. She felt Chris' pain over his loss as he shared that part of his life with her. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around the man she was rapidly falling for and erase some of his hurt from his mind and heart, of which she did and more as the two shared an intimate morning together. Roy nodded his head but didn't answer.  There was no way he was going to be on television again after what he went through twenty years earlier. "Why don't we all sit down in the living room?"  JoAnne suggested.  "Roy, please help me with the dessert."  Roy knew JoAnne needed no help with dessert, but needed to talk with him.  The two left the room, while the others got comfortable in the living room and started talking. "Roy, what am I going to do now?  Jenny knows I went to the doctor and has been asking me every moment she gets me alone, what he said."  JoAnne said softly, fearing the people in the other room would hear her. Roy looked at the turmoil written across JoAnne's face.  "Jo, let's just tell them all now." "But Meg is here.  I didn't know Chris was going to bring anyone." "For our son to bring someone here, means she's very important to him.  We really can't keep this a secret much longer."  He squeezed her hand and looked at her belly. "I'm so scared Roy.  I'm afraid for Jenny." "Jo, she'll get over it.  I'm more worried about you right now.  Let's just tell them." The two slowly walked back into the main room and sat down joining the others. "So mom, is there something you'd like to tell me?"  Jenny asked barely able to contain her excitement. "Jenny I do want to tell you something, but I don't think it's what you want to hear." Jenny's expression changed.  "Are you okay mom?  Did the doctors find something wrong?" JoAnne looked at Roy, "in a matter of speaking, yes."  She took a deep breath.  "Your father and I are expecting another child." "YOU'RE PREGNANT?"  Jenny shouted as she stood up. "Jenny, don't yell at your mother."  Roy stated. "Yes, Jen, I'm pregnant."  Chris looked at his parents in disbelief and poor Meg had no idea what was going on. "How can you be pregnant knowing what we wanted to do?"  Jenny shouted.  "How can you do this to me?" "Going to do?"  Chris asked. "What's going on?" He then looked at his mother. "Pregnant!" he squeaked. Johnny rested a hand on Chris's arm. "Jenny and I wanted to have another child and your mom offered to be our surrogate."  Johnny said, still trying to cope with the news he had just heard. "Surrogacy?" "Yes Chris." Johnny said with more shock in his voice. "How can you do that to me mom!  Couldn't you be more careful?"  Jenny stood up and glared at her mother. "Do this to you?  Do you think I planned this?"  JoAnne replied. "You should have been more careful," Jenny yelled, then she looked and pointed at her father.  "And you. How could you get Mom pregnant, a man of your age?" "Young lady. Don't you dare stand there and lecture me about safe sex. And as far as a man of my age becoming a father again. Do I need remind you just how old your own husband is?" "Roy!"  Johnny shouted. "You stay out of this, Gage. This is between Jo, me and OUR daughter." "Well your daughter just happens to be my wife and I'm not gonna stand her and let you talk to her like she's…a little girl." "Enough," JoAnne bellowed. She looked first at Johnny and then at her daughter. She was amazed at how selfish Jen seemed to be. Instead of thinking about her own mother being pregnant, she was acting like a spoiled child who was just told she couldn't have some candy from the candy store. "Don't you dare dictate to your father and me how we should live OUR lives, Jennifer."  Then she looked at Johnny.  " And look who is talking about being careful."  JoAnne shouted back, not realizing the impact that her statement had. "JoAnne, that's not fair."  Johnny replied, defending not only his wife but himself as well. "What do you mean that's not fair Johnny?  Not fair that I'm having a child or not fair that yours was unplanned."  She pointed her finger at him. "JoAnne, that wasn't called for."  Johnny replied raising his voice.  He wanted to continue, but when he looked over and saw the expression that appeared on Roy's face, he stopped himself. That look reminded him of a similar look on Roy's face a few years before, when he and Jenny told of their 'unplanned' pregnancy. Suddenly, all the pain from the angered words that had been once tossed back in forth in this very house filled his mind. It was the end of life as he knew it and the beginning of something totally new for both Johnny and Jenny. Neither one knew what the future held, but through it all, Johnny was determined to be the best father to their baby any man could be, and to be a good partner to Jenny. He was grateful when Roy gave his blessing for their marriage that in his mind, would have happened even without Roy's consent.  And now, because of another unplanned pregnancy, here they were once again saying hurtful things to those they loved "Jo…." Roy said, trying to calm his wife. "Don't Roy," JoAnne replied taking a deep breath. Glancing at her daughter she added, "I didn't plan this, but your father and I will have this baby." "But Mom, what about me? What about the promise you made to me?"  Jenny asked tears streaming down her face. "Jenny, it's time to grow up.  You are a mother now.  And you know some things in life we have little or no control over." JoAnne was visibly upset and Roy had his arms around her shoulders. Through all the commotion going on, Meg watched as Chris absorbed it all. At one point she thought he would faint from the sheer shock of the situation. He remained speechless as his eyes traveled from one adult to another, trying to follow the conversation. "But mom, this means I won't have another child.  You had to take my last chance away.  Are you that jealous of me?" "That's enough Jennifer," Roy bellowed.  "I won't have you speaking to your mother that way.  We didn't plan for this to happen.  You will just have to live with it. Instead of yelling at us in anger you should be happy for us, support us."  With the voices elevating, Kaitlin began to cry. Concerned for his niece, Chris walked over and picked her up. He then turned and looked at the four adults who at the moment, resembled four children squabbling over ownership of a toy.  "I think it's about time you all shut up?  Can't you see what this is doing to Kaitlin?  And what about our guest here?  How can you four be so rude in front of her?" Jenny looked at Chris, walked over and took Kaitlin from his arms.  She then turned to look at her husband. "Johnny, I think it's time to leave," she said. No more was said as Johnny, Jenny, and Kaitlin left the DeSoto home. JoAnne sat down on the couch and started crying.   Roy walked over to his son and put his hand on his back.  "Chris, I think you should leave. And Meg, I apologize for what took place here tonight." "That's okay, Mr. De….Roy.  I understand. I think."  Chris and Meg left the house. Roy poured himself a cup of coffee and made a cup of tea for JoAnne and placed them both on the coffee table. "Roy, this is terrible."  "I know Jo, but we are doing the right thing.  Jenny will understand. She just needs a little time, that's all."  "I hope so." JoAnne replied, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the couch. As she thought about the entire evening she suddenly shivered when she remembered the spiteful things she said. 'How could I have thrown Kaitlin into their faces? I love that little girl just as much as they do. What kind of a mother am I?' E! E! E! E! E! Johnny, Jenny and Kaitlin were in the Rover driving back toward their home.  Jenny kept crying and shaking her head. "I can't believe this.  Why did she do this to me?" "Jenny, will you listen to yourself.  JoAnne did not do this to you.  You are being very selfish right now.  Your mother explained it was a mistake." She glared at Johnny. "You are behaving like a spoiled child, Jenny." "Oh now you're getting parental with me." Johnny let out a sigh, "if I have to.  You are still such a young girl some times.  The world does not revolve around you." "And what is that suppose to mean?"  Johnny recognized a big fight in the making.  "Jenny, Angel, what I'm trying to say, is that your parents have lived twice as many years as you, and have experienced a lot more living than you have.  This is not going to be easy for them." Jenny thought for a bit.  "I guess you're right.  But what about me?  I mean, what about us?" "Jenny, I have a thought.  We should reconsider adoption." "But Johnny, I told you that we won't qualify and I know we can't afford to go the private route." "Well, Jen, you only looked at one avenue of public adoption.  There is another way to go." "Jenny looked up at her husband.  He looked at her before answering.  "We could adopt a baby from the reservation I grew up on." Jenny stared at Johnny after he made that comment.  She was dumfounded by his statement, as that thought never occurred to her. E!E!E! Chris drove Meg back to the studio in silence, still absorbing the fact that his mother was pregnant and he was going to have a baby brother or sister. "Chris, what are you thinking?" He looked over at her.  "My family isn't this tumultuous, Meg.  But ever since Jenny got married, life seems to have gotten more difficult, for everyone."  He paused, considering her question.  "What am I thinking about?  Well, I'm going to have a little brother or sister."  Chris smiled, but that quickly turned to a frown.  "I'm worried about my mother, her health, and what this pregnancy will do to her.  And, my dad's not that young either.  Now, he'll probably want to work 'til he's 65, so he can support the baby, if I know my dad. Raising a baby isn't an easy thing. And at their age… it's going to be exhausting for both of them for a very long time." "Chris, if there is any way I can help…" Chris smiled as he put his hand on hers, "…you are helping me, Meg, right now, by being with me." Pulling into the parking space at Meg's townhouse, Chris cut the engine but refrained from getting out of the vehicle. "What's wrong?" Meg asked "It's this whole baby thing! It's insane for my parents to even consider raising another child." "How do you feel about kids, Chris?" Meg asked with curiosity. "Up until now…as long as they weren't mine…I mean I love my niece. I have since the day she was born, maybe before that, but…" "You're not too crazy about having any of your own?" Chris thought before answering and knew he had to give Meg an honest answer. "I don't know Meg. Up until I met you, I never considered the possibility…" "Possibility of what? Kids?" "Meg, with my line of work, I…" "What?" "Kids need both a mother and father. And before you start, I know it's possible to rear a child without one or the other, but…I wouldn't want my kids to have to grow up without one of their parents, so it's easier to just not think about having any." "I see," Meg replied. Without saying anything else, she opened up the car door and got out. Fearing he may have said something wrong, Chris quickly jumped out of the car and hurried around to join Meg on the other side of the car. "May I walk you up to your apartment?" Turning so she could look Chris in the face, she replied, teasing him, "Sure, but then you'll have to leave."  A dejected look appeared on Chris' face thinking he may have pushed away the one woman he had grown attached to by expressing his private thoughts.  He didn't realize Meg was drawing him in.. Meg continued to stare into Chris' face and she saw how his expression suddenly changed. She reached out and touched his arm. "Chris, you promised me desert and I don't have anything upstairs that could possibly be called desert…except for…well maybe…that is if you don't mind pretending to make a baby." She said, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. Chris stood back. He rubbed his hand over his face and through his hair. Taking a deep breath a smile began to appear on his face. "And here I thought you were serious…about me leaving." Meg leaned into Chris and whispered, "If I had it my way, you'd never go anywhere again." Licking his lips, Chris whispered back, "Be careful what you wish for, it might come true." Letting his hand fall next to Meg's, he weaved his fingers around hers and then motioned for her to follow. As they hurried toward the apartment their giggles echoed off the building. E! E! E! E! E! E Several weeks passed since the night JoAnne told Jenny and Johnny about her pregnancy. For the most part her health remained normal, or as normal as a pregnant woman's health could be while going through the hormone changes, morning sickness, and a body expanding to accommodate the growing baby. Jenny was working in ER and heard over the scanner at the base station that there was a three-alarm fire at Mammouth Studios. She knew that was in 51's jurisdiction and she also knew that A-shift was working. Although she hated waiting and wondering about her brother, she knew he was good at his job and always preformed his job to the letter, but she knew even a good firefighter could have an off day. She was caught up listening to the reports on the scanner when a hand touched her arm. "Hey Jen?" Looking up at the young doctor, she replied, "Yes Dr. Forrestor." "We just got word of a collapse at Mammouth.  There has been a report of at least six code-I's and they will soon be coming in.  Will you be okay to handle this?" Even though Dr. Andy Forrestor was new to Rampart's emergency crew, he knew just like everyone else, that Jennifer's brother was a paramedic who worked out of Rampart. Touching Andy's arm she smiled, "Thanks, Doctor, but I'll be alright. Besides we don't even know who the injured men are yet." Andy returned her smile and then put his hand on her back. Very innocently he began to lightly stroke her back with his thumb, "if there's anything I can do, you just let me know." Taking a deep breath Jenny replied, "Johnny's here today, so if need be, he's around." Andy looked at Jennifer questioningly, but didn't say anything. Not everyone knew, especially the newest staff, that Jennifer was married to John Gage, as Jennifer used her maiden name in her business setting and didn't wear a wedding band. So Andy wasn't aware of who she was referring to. The mention of another man's name though made him slightly queasy. Although he never let his intentions known, he secretly hoped for a relationship with Jennifer. Within ten minutes of getting the call about the code I, the first ambulance arrived.  Mike Morton was at the opened door, ready to direct the incoming.  Two stretchers came out and were directed to treatment rooms.  At first, Jennifer was relieved that Chris wasn't on the first one.  However, the second one contained Jeff, Chris' paramedic partner. "Jeff?  Jeff!"  Jennifer went into the treatment room with him. "Hi Jen."  Jeff said as he moved the oxygen mask away from his face. "Leave that there, Jeff."  Jenny had her professional demeanor on and placed the mask securely on his face. "Let the doctors look at you and I'll be right back."  She moved his soot-laden hair off his face. Exhausted, Jeff closed his eyes momentarily forgetting he wanted to ask Jen something. Jenny feared the worst.  If Jeff was injured, could Chris be far behind?  She walked back over to the opened doors and looked at Morton.  The second ambulance pulled in and Jenny stood by Morton.  A slight gasp escaped when she saw one of the gurneys had Chris on it.  His eyes were closed and Jen could see an IV set up with oxygen. "Put him in 4."  Morton shouted.  "Jen, do you know Diaz from 8s?"  Jen shook her head no.  "Then you go with him."  Morton faced her front on.  "I know you are a professional, Jennifer Gage.  I'll let you know how Chris and Jeff are as soon as I know." Jen nodded her head in agreement and was so relieved to work for such a caring Chief of Emergency. Jennifer tended to Diaz's injuries and assisted the doctor, but didn't let on she was related to Chris and Jeff.  She knew it wouldn't be fair to Diaz.  Plus, Morton was correct.  She was a professional and her work right now was to take care of Albert Diaz and any other individuals who needed her help. Diaz's injuries weren't too bad; mostly smoke inhalation.  Once he was settled and was awaiting transfer, Jennifer left treatment room four and walked toward the base station. "A total of six firefighters were brought in, Jen.  I see your brother was one of them."  Forrester said. "Any news on him or Jeff?" Jenny asked, her voice echoing her concern. Forrester shook his head no.  Jen was about to check for herself when she saw Meg Hall rush into the emergency room.  Jen could see that Meg was quite upset. "Any news on Chris yet?"  Meg asked as she approached Jen. "No Meg, no news yet.  I was going to check on Jeff and then peek in on Chris."  Jenny led Meg to the lounge.  "Why don't you wait in here?  You won't be recognized by the public and it's more private."  Jen wanted to tell Meg that the lounge would be a good place to compose herself, before she saw Chris. Meg sat down and looked up at Jennifer.  Her eyes held a questioning look. Jenny smiled.  "I don't want to say that I'm used to this, but unfortunately, being the daughter of a fireman, then a sister of one and now a wife, I'm kinda immune and being a nurse helps too."  Jenny squeezed Meg's arm.  "I'm sure they're going to be okay.  From what I heard, none of the injuries was life threatening.  I'm gonna go and check and then I'll be back as soon as I can.  Hang in there." As Jen left she saw Meg pulling a tissue out from her bag. Jenny walked over to treatment room two, which is where Jeff was.  The nurses were finishing up with him, so Jen walked over.  "Hi Jeff." Hearing her voice he opened his eyes.  "Jen."  Then he was overcome with a coughing fit. "Shhh. Jeff, don't talk." "Chris?"  The words barely came out from his irritated throat. "I'm gonna check on him right now.  I'll let you know."  She squeezed his shoulder before she left the room. On her way out, Morton told her that Jeff suffered smoke inhalation and several crack ribs.  He'd be spending some time at Hotel Rampart. Jen prepared herself before going into treatment room three.  Just as she opened the door, she heard her brother scream.  Closing her eyes she walked in and over to his gurney. She placed her hand on his head and Chris opened his eyes.  "Munchkin."  "Shhh Chris, save your throat." "Jeff?" Jenny smiled, "He'll soon be making his way up stairs as soon as admissions are done with him.  He's got some cracked ribs and smoke inhalation."  Jenny noticed a cut on her brother's forehead and saw the bruising on his shoulder.  "Separated shoulder?" "Not any more."  Forrester said.  "That was that little yelp you heard as you came in." "Pain killers?"  Jenny asked. "Only the best for LA County's bravest.  And we'll be keeping him overnight due to that heavy dose of smoke he ate.  I'd say Station 51's A shift will miss their paramedics for a shift or two. Jenny squeezed her brother's hand.  "Not sure if Dad is here today, but I'll let Johnny know what happened.  I'll see you when you're settled in." Keeping his eyes closed, Chris just smiled.  The pain medication was already taking effect. As Jenny walked out of the room, Forrester's eyes followed her. He was beginning to wonder who this Johnny person was and if he'd be a threat to his plans. Before Jenny went back to talk with Meg, she went to a phone. "John Gage." "Hi Johnny.  Is Dad working there today?" "Yes, Jen, he is.  Why?" "There was a code I times six and one of them was Chris.  He's okay.  Smoke inhalation and a separated shoulder.  He's in emergency now, but Morton's gonna keep him overnight." "Are you okay, Jen?"  The concern in his voice was there.  "I can come downstairs….." "No, no Johnny, I'm okay.  Hearing him cry out when they popped his shoulder nearly did me in, but he's in morphine heaven." "And Jeff?" Jenny smiled, "he's got smoke inhalation and some crack ribs.  He too will be here overnight." "Roy's in class now, but I'll tell him as soon as he's free.  You sure you don't want me to come down there." "Want you?  Yes, Johnny, always.  Need you?  Nah, I'm okay.  I come from strong stock.  You of all people know that." Johnny smiled, yes, he knew how strong JoAnne was during a crisis and now Jenny had to demonstrate those gifts.  "I love you Jen." Softly into the phone Jenny said, "love you too ole man."  Hanging up the phone, Jenny relaxed, but then remembered that Meg Hall was in the lounge.  Jenny made her way there. When the door opened, Meg looked up.  Jenny noticed the red and black eyes, red from crying and black from running mascara. Jenny sat down next to Meg.  "He's okay Meg.  And so's Jeff.  Chris suffered bad smoke inhalation and a separated shoulder." What a relief that was to Meg and she smiled.  "You mean it?" Jenny nodded her head, and smiled, "yes, I wouldn't lie about this." "When the news of the fire came across the teletype, I ignored it.  But one of the production assistants read off the stations and when I heard station 51, I knew it was Chris.  And then, I heard about the injured men.  We had one of our live teams there doing a feed and I saw their truck.  Even thought the clarity was poor, I knew it was Chris I saw on a stretcher."  Meg started crying again. Jenny put her arms around her to comfort her.  This was way too new for Meg; being involved with someone in such a high-risk profession. For the first time Meg understood Chris' concerns about having a family and how dangerous his job was. 'What am I gonna do? I love him, but…can I live with the fear that one day he might not come home to me…to our kids? Kids? Where did that come from? Chris and I have never talked about 'our future' and the possibility of 'kids'.  What am I gonna do?' E!E!E! Roy was wrapping up his lesson, when he noticed Johnny standing at the back of the class.  Once the class was dismissed, Johnny walked over to Roy. "Jenny just called me.  There was a code I times 6.  Chris is downstairs."  Roy suddenly stood up, but Johnny grabbed onto his arm.  "He's okay.  Mostly smoke inhalation.  They'll check him in soon."  Johnny looked up at Roy and saw the panic on his face.  "Roy, he is okay.  Sit for a moment."  Johnny tapped the desk and Roy sat down.  "You okay?" Roy nodded.  Struggling for words he said, "This is why I didn't want him to be in the business. I wanted him to go to college, find a nice safe job.  Its bad enough I put JoAnne through this for so many years. Now it's him and with her condition…" "Do you want me to call her Roy?  It always worked in the past."  Johnny was referring to the many times he'd call JoAnne when Roy got injured.  And it was Johnny who comforted her while they all awaited news on Roy. Roy smiled at Johnny's casual reference to his own injuries.  "No, I'll call her as soon as I see for myself."  He stood up to go down to emergency, but stopped and turned around.  "Thanks, Johnny." E!E!E! After Meg composed herself she stood up.  "I'd like to see him now, Jenny." "Meg, I'm going to be blunt with you.  I don't know what your relationship is with my…with Chris.  But I do know that you care for him and he cares for you.  If he sees you now, as upset as you are, he will not handle it well."  Jenny motioned for Meg to sit back down.  "As backwards as this is going to sound, a fireman's wife really has to stand behind her man and support him.  If for one minute he thinks that his wife is worried while he's fighting a fire, that distraction is enough to have tragic consequences.  I'm not telling you to be all smiles and such; you have to be true to yourself.  Chris is going to be upset enough without having to see it on your face.  Frankly, knowing my brother, he's going to be worried about mom and how she's going to react to this.  You may not believe this, but this is the first time Chris has been injured on the job." Jen paused to think about what she was going to say next.  "I don't know if Chris told you, but my dad didn't want him to be a firefighter, let alone a paramedic.  There were many fights, but eventually dad relented.  I have my suspicions why, but, well that's for another time." "Jen, I appreciate all that you're telling me.  I would never, ever think about things like this.  And none of my previous boyfriends were in such a dangerous profession."  Meg laughed at the irony thinking about old lovers and the most dangerous thing they ever had to deal with was angry stockholders.  "I promise you Jen, that I won't upset him.  I do really care about Chris and I don't want to add to his burdens.  Can I go see him now?" "It'll probably be an hour or so, before he's moved.  Maybe you should grab something to eat." E!E!E!E!E Roy opened the door to the room and saw Jeff in one bed and Chris in another.  He entered quietly, a trick he learned from the many times he stood vigil with Johnny. "Hi Dad."  Chris' raspy voice gave away how much smoke he inhaled. "Hi Mr. D."  Jeff said too with a slight wave. Roy smiled at Jeff and moved a chair so he could sit by his son.  "Heard about the fire at Mammouth.  Always hated that place.  Johnny and I had our share of rescues there.  I always wondered how that place passed their fire inspections." Looking at his son lying in the bed, Roy continued, "Are you okay?"  Roy looked up at the IV and noticed the meds his son was on." "Throat hurts.  Lungs don't feel that great.  Some PVCs burned and caught us all off guard." Pointing, Roy asked, "How's the shoulder?" With a smile on his face Chris answered, "Fine now." "I'm not going to stay long……."  Roy was interrupted when Dana Garda, Jeff's fiancée rushed in and walked over to Jeff's side.  Roy smiled in recognition, got up and drew the curtain allowing Jeff and Dana some privacy. "Does mom know?" Roy shook his head.  "I wanted to tell her in person.  She's been having a tough time with this pregnancy so I want her to be comfortable.  Plus, you're okay according to Morton.  You're gonna have a bad cough for a coupla days."  Roy was interrupted when Marco Lopez walked in, still wearing his bunker clothes.  The distinct acrid smell hung on his clothes and a worried expression was on his face. "Marco." "Roy.  How is he?" "I'm fine Cap'n."  "I'm fine too Cap." Marco didn't know that Jeff was in the next bed. Jeff said behind the curtains which Dana opened giving everyone a view. "Roy, in all of my years, I never saw anything like it.  I'm just glad you boys are okay.  I don't want to stay long and tire you out.  We're gonna need you back ASAP.  Rest up.  Marco patted each man on his uninjured shoulders.  He hugged Dana and shook Roy's hand before leaving.  As Marco opened the door, Meg gingerly walked in. "Oh, I see you have company."  She said.  Roy looked at Meg and then at his son and knew what he had to do. "Chris, call me if you need anything.  I may be back with your mom, if she wants to come.  Either way, Jenny and Johnny are still around."  Roy got up to leave.  "Nice to see you again, Meg." Meg smiled but felt quite awkward.  Roy had an idea what the next scene would be like as he reminisced about his first accident and JoAnne's reaction. "Feel like some company?"  Meg approached the vacated chair.  Chris patted the bed indicating for her to sit down.  "Should I ask how you're feeling?" Chris grinned.  "I should ask how you're doing."  Meg grabbed Chris' hand and tightly held it.  She swallowed hard before answering.  "I'm not the one who's here in the hospital." "I'm okay now.  I can't talk too much, or I'll start coughing."  He squeezed her hand and tears formed in her eyes.  Meg didn't want Chris to see them so she stood up and glanced at Jeff. "Hi Jeff.  This must be Dana.  Nice to meet you."  The two women shook hands.  They both had a moment where each understood how the other felt about the situation they were in.   When Meg turned around she saw Chris' eyes were closed, so she went over to him, bent down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.  "I won't be able to stop by later cause of my schedule, but I'll call.  If you're not up to talking, that's fine and I'll understand." Meg stood back up, waved to Jeff and Dana and left the room.  Outside the room, Meg leaned against the wall and hung her head down.  'How can I learn to live with this?' she wondered. E!E!E!E!E Roy went back upstairs to the paramedic training center and went over to Johnny's office.  The look on his face told Johnny that Chris was going to be fine.  Johnny would check on Chris later.  There was no immediate need to see him now, knowing his condition was okay.  Roy sat down on Johnny's couch, let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "You okay?" "You'd think I'd be used to this with all of the injuries you catalogued." Johnny laughed.  "Go home Roy and tell JoAnne." "I will.  I just want to settle my thoughts.  She's been kind of moody lately." "Pregnancy hard on her?"  This was one of the few times Johnny asked about her condition.  Johnny adored JoAnne, but he was wounded by this entire subject. Roy rubbed his eyes, "yeah, she's having some problems.  Ya know feet swelling, mood swings, difficulty eating, etc."  Roy stood up indicating he was going to leave. "Tell JoAnne hi for me."  Johnny didn't know what else to say. Roy drove home figuring out how to tell his wife that their son was hurt in a fire.  Sure, they both knew this day would come.  But that doesn't make it easier when confronted with it. When Roy entered the house, he found JoAnne sitting in front of her computer.  He went over to her and kissed her on her head. "Tough day?"  Jo asked as she turned around. "No, not really."  Roy sat down.  "Jo…."  His tone alarmed JoAnne. "What happened?" "Chris was hurt in a fire at Mammouth.  But he's okay.  I just saw him.  Mostly bad smoke inhalation, but they're gonna keep him overnight." JoAnne looked directly at Roy.  "Do you want to go back to the hospital Roy?  I'd like to see him." "Are you up to it?" "Roy, he's my first born."  She tapped her belly.  "I have to see for myself." E!E!E!E!E After spending a few days at Rampart, Chris, Jeff, and the other injured firemen were released from the hospital. Jeff went home with Dana where she pampered him back to health. Chris returned to his own apartment to recuperate. For whatever reason, Chris was certain that his relationship with Meg was disintegrating before his eyes. Although she refused to admit it, he knew things changed between them. She began sinking herself deeper into her work and lessened her visits to him. And when she did visit, she seemed distant. When he questioned her about her change in behavior toward him, she shrugged him off telling him it was his over active imagination. Then one night, the night before he was to return to work, he asked her to stay. She quickly made up excuses, mostly not wanting to tire him before he returned to work. "Meg, I really want you to…stay." "I can't. I don't want you to…be exhausted tomorrow. You need your rest and I'd only be…a distraction." "Meg, you're not a distraction," Chris replied. As he looked at her he could see her evasiveness showing through. "What is it, Meg? What's going on?" "Chris…I…" "What Meg?" "I'm… afraid…of loosing you." "Meg you haven't lost me. I'm right here," he replied stepping closer to her. "Yes Chris, you're here now…but what about next time…what if…" Suddenly, Chris could see the problem. It was his job that was coming between them. "Meg, I can't help who I am or what I do for a living. I've told you before I never thought much about my future…about marriage…about a family…but since you've come into my life…I've thought about it… and I know that someday I want all of it. Meg, I can't promise I won't ever get hurt again, but I can promise I will be extra careful, as I always have been, while I do my job. Megan, please understand, my job is part of who I am and my job is very important…not just to me, but to every person out there who I help." "Chris…" Meg stepped into Chris' arms embracing him like she never had before. Although tears fell from her eyes, she knew he was the one she wanted to make a life with, no matter how long it took. A short time later they silently walked hand in hand toward Chris' bedroom. Their night was filled with reawakening the love they held for each other, that had been sidetracked since Chris' accident. E! E! E! E! E After the disagreement at the DeSoto house, the Gages kept their distance.  It wasn't really Johnny's wish to keep away, but in order to keep peace with Jenny; he limited his dealings with Roy and JoAnne. At work, Johnny would ask Roy how JoAnne was feeling, but left it at that.  No further questions came about the baby.  Surely Johnny cared about JoAnne and the baby, but he cared more about Jenny and her deep disappointment. As Johnny promised, he looked into adoptions from his home.  He was a member of the Assiniboine tribe and knew he had to get in contact with the tribal elders to find out about if there were any children in need of a home. Contacting the tribal council would be difficult for Johnny due to his estrangement from his family.  One of the things that Johnny never told Jenny was how he arrived in Los Angeles and why he left his home in Poplar, Montana.  However, the more he thought about having another child, the more he wanted one, and if that meant he'd have to contact home, he would.  He couldn't put his finger on why another baby appealed to him, but it did.  Once he told Jenny about this adoption option, she settled down and didn't bring it up again.  Perhaps she sensed this was something that Johnny had to confront and come to terms with before, they could proceed. One night at dinner, Johnny decided to bring up the adoption. "Jenny, I think we should go to Poplar Montana." "Why, what's there?"  She asked in all sincerity. "That's a … where I'm from, Jen.  We should go there to meet with people and start the process of adoption." Jenny was shocked.  "Are there children available?" "I don't know.  But either way, they will want to meet you and determine if we'd make suitable parents." Jenny was a bit taken back by those comments.  "Why wouldn't we?" "Because the elders will want to make sure that if we adopt, the child will still have roots to the native culture." "Wouldn't he or she be, because of you?" Johnny smiled at how unworldly Jenny was at times.  "Just because I'm a native son, doesn't automatically give me the rights.  You don't know about my past Jenny.  It's not something that I've ever shared with anyone, including your father.  There are reasons I left the rez.  I am proud of my heritage, but the elders may frown upon the fact that I left home and my family." "Why, Johnny?  Why did you leave your home and family?" Johnny shook his head, "not now Jenny.  I'm not ready to talk about those first fifteen years of my life.  Once I decided to leave, I severed most of my ties with my Montana family.  My Aunt took me in here in Los Angeles and I never really looked back."  He solemnly stated. "How will that affect our desire to adopt?" "I don't know Jen.  That's part of the reason I want to go to Poplar.  I want to see how I'll be accepted there.  See any family I may still have there.  And test the proverbial waters." Jenny thought about all he said.  He was so serious talking about this endeavor.  'Some really painful things must have happened to him to make his so serious.'  She took his hand in hers and said, "what ever you want to do, is fine with me.  Whenever you want to go is good." "What about Kaitlin?" Johnny asked. "What about her?" "Do we take her?  We can't ask your folks to watch her considering what happened." Jenny looked at Johnny and saw pain in his eyes.  She knew she behaved poorly, but didn't know how to mend things with her parents.  Surely she spoke with them, but it was friendly and sincere, but there was still a rift between the foursome. "Maybe Chris will watch her?" "Jenny, it will take us about a day to get there if we drove straight through.  And at my age, I know I'll stiffen up.  So you figure at least two days to get there and two days home and three days there.  So, Chris couldn't take her for a week.  It's not fair to even ask him.  I guess we'll take her." "Won't that add to the trip?  How about if we flew there?" Johnny hadn't considered that.  "I guess we can fly into Billings and drive the rest.  It would be about a seven hour drive.  We could do the total visit in three or four days."  Johnny hated the thought of leaving Kaitlin with anyone, but he didn't want to bring her either.  Shrugging his shoulders he replied," I guess it can't hurt to ask him when his next weekend off is, and if Cap Lopez can spare him." Jenny smiled.  "Let's call him after dinner." "Angellllll.  He's working today and may be out on a run.  This can wait 'til his day off." Jenny sensed the uncertainty in Johnny's voice, so she didn't push it. Chris agreed to watch Kaitlin, but wouldn't be able to do it for another four weeks.  The next weekend he had off, he planned to go Palm Springs with Meg.  Although he offered to cancel it, Johnny insisted he go.  There was no hurry according to Johnny. E! E! E! E! "How ya feeling Jo?"  Roy asked in concern seeing JoAnne catching her breath. "I'm okay, Roy.  Just a bit winded."  She took Roy's hand and placed it on her belly.  "Our son is moving." "Son?" She smiled, "oh I just have a feeling it's a boy." Roy felt the baby shifting around.  "He is kind of active, isn't he?"  What a grin he had on his face.  "It's been a long time since I delivered a baby." "And it's going to be even longer, Roy DeSoto.  You are not delivering this baby.  Only Dr. Goldman will.  I don't care how many babies you delivered in your career.  Ours will not be part of it."  JoAnne was serious. "Relax Jo, I'm only kidding you.  I retired that glove when I became Captain, although I have a feeling I'll see some in the upcoming weeks." "Why?  How?" "Well, Johnny has all of the instructors spending time in the field.  It will keep us sharp and we get to see how the new procedures work in the field.  It is a good idea." JoAnne shook her head in understanding.  "I wonder how Jenny's doing.  Does Johnny talk about it?" Roy shook his head.  "He's polite and all.  He always asks about you and how you're feeling.  But no, he doesn't say what, if anything, they're doing." "Does Chris know?" "If he does, he's not saying and Jo, I wouldn't put Chris in the middle.  I still feel bad about how Meg got introduced to the family." JoAnne nodded.  "I know.  And I guess that's why he doesn't really bring her around here.  Sometimes, this baby is so active and other times, he's so quiet."  She patted her belly.  "Have you given thoughts to any names?" Roy smiled.  "If it's a boy, I like the name of Ryan Scott DeSoto." "And if it's a girl?" That was more difficult for Roy.  Jenny would always be his little one.  "Well, Rebecca Anne DeSoto sounds nice to me." "I'll consider both of them."  Roy kept his hand on his wife's belly still in awe of what was going to happen in their life. E!E!E!E! Johnny, Jenny and Kaitlin drove over to Chris' townhouse.  This was the weekend that they planned to go to Poplar. Jenny got out of the car and released Kaitlin from the child's seat.  The two walked to the door with Johnny following up the rear, carrying the bags. The door opened.  "Hey munchkin."  Chris kissed Jenny's cheek. "Chris, I don't know how to thank you." "That's okay.  When I have kids, I'll hit you up to baby-sit." 'When he has kids?  He really must be serious with Meg to even say that to me.' "Chris, where do you want me to put this?" "Johnny, just leave it here."  He pointed to the main room.  "Come here Kaitlin. I want to give you a kiss." Kaitlin didn't respond.  She was being coy.  Chris looked at Jenny for some guidance.  "She's used to staying with mom and dad and I think she's a little afraid.  She hasn't slept over here in a long time, Chris." He understood.  He squatted down to Kaitlin's level to whisper her.  "Kaitlin?  We are going to have so much fun together, once your parent's leave…..My friend Meg is going to come over and we'll go to the park and other places that you want to.  Is that okay with you?  You can decide where we can go." "Can we go to MacDonalds?"  She asked quietly, batting her blue eyes at her uncle.  Chris suddenly realized how these little DeSoto girls manipulate their favorite uncles.  "Yes, we can go there, but don't tell your parents.  Okay?" She beamed and nodded her head. "Don't let her beguile you with her beauty Chris, or she'll have you wrapped around her fingers forever."  Johnny said.  "Take it from someone who knows.  Johnny looked at his lovely wife. Jenny punched Johnny in the shoulder.  "And what is that suppose to mean ole man." "I think we better get going, Angellll, or we'll miss our plane.  Now you have all of our information, right Chris." "Johnny, please don't worry.  I was a boy scout and Meg was a girl scout.  We know what we're doing. "Practicing…." Jenny said under her breath. "What?"  Both men asked. "Oh nothing!" Jenny said but had a huge grin on her face. E!E!!E! The flight from Los Angeles to Billings was uneventful.  They rented a car and started out on their seven hour drive.  Johnny didn't want to stiffen up so every hour or so, they'd stop so Johnny could point out some scenes or so they could get some coffee. Jenny looked out the window staring at the beautiful scenery around her.  Comments she made to Johnny were met with grunts.  She could tell Johnny was having serious thoughts about their trip and getting in touch with his heritage. Even though Jenny knew Johnny almost all of her life, there was still so much she didn't know about, about his ancestry, about his family.   Perhaps this trip, Jenny would learn why Johnny is the way he is. E! E! E! E "She is so adorable, Chris."  Meg said.  The three of them were sitting in Chris' living room coloring.  Kaitlin gave Chris a coloring book that had firetrucks in it.  Meg was given a Barbie book.  Of course Kaitlin kept her Winnie the Pooh coloring book. Chris looked up at Meg to respond to her comment.  "As I said before, she is the little love of my life.  It had to take her disappearance for me to realize it." "I can't imagine how bad it was, Chris.  I wish I could have helped you back then." Chris smiled.  "I know Meg.  It was bad.  My dad blamed himself, since they were babysitting for her.  Jenny and Johnny were on their honeymoon." "Honeymoon?" "Yes, they never took one.  I guess you figured it out, but Kaitlin wasn't planned.  My Dad kinda threw Jenny out of the house when she told him who the father was." "Chris, I don't understand something.  You told me that your Dad and Johnny don't really get along, but from my brief time with them, they seemed cordial." "That's it Meg, they're cordial.  But they used to be best friends.  Johnny spent all of his spare time with the family.  Dad and Johnny went camping together and did other male bonding things.  But after Johnny was shot, their connection fell apart.  And all these other things put more strain on it."  Chris looked down at Kaitlin.  "I wish things were back to the old way, but I know it can't.  I hope this tension doesn't get any worse.  I don't know how much more my family can take." Meg paused and thought about what Chris said.  "So where did your sister go?" "She moved in with Johnny.  And after Kaitlin was born, he proposed.  Johnny actually asked my father for his permission." Chris laughed as he remembered what his mother told him about that day. Johnny was a nervous wreck when he faced Roy and asked for Jenny's hand in marriage. "So they got married after Kaitlin was born and never really had the time to go away.  And their finances were tight too." "How come?"  "Johnny was on disability for some time, recovering from hip replacement surgeries." "Wow Chris, it reads like a soap opera……"  Meg smiled. "Uncle Chris?" "Yes Kaitlin." "Whas a soap opera?  Can I use it in the shower?" "No, it's not a bath toy.  Its kinda a TV show." "Is it a show Meg is on?" Meg and Chris locked eyes and grinned.  "No, not yet………" E!E!E!E!E "Roy?  ROY?"  JoAnne shouted from their bedroom. Roy ran upstairs, hearing the fear in her voice.  "What's wrong?" "Roy, I'm bleeding." Roy didn't have to think twice.  "Let's call your doctor and then take you to Rampart.  Are you in any pain?" JoAnne shook her head.  Tears fell from her face.  "I'm cramping.  Roy, am I loosing the baby?" Roy gave her a startled look.  "No, Jo, maybe you're just spotting.  You'll be okay."  Roy said that to calm her, but he knew something was terribly wrong. It was too soon for the baby to arrive. E! E! E! Roy drove to the hospital and was glad to find Mike Morton waiting for them with a wheelchair. "Goldman called me and told me you were on your way."  Morton accompanied JoAnne to a treatment room, leaving Roy waiting outside.  He saw an empty row of plastic seats, and sat down. 'Maybe I should call Chris and let him know.  He told me he's off this weekend.' Roy didn't have his cell phone with him so he got some change out of his pocket and went to the phone banks. "Hi Chris." "Dad?  Are you okay?" Chris asked hearing Roy's voice waiver. "Ah…no.  I'm at Rampart.  Your mom started hemorrhaging." "Oh no.  Dad, is she going to loose the baby?" "I don't know but I think so.  Maybe you should come here.  And let Jen and Johnny know.  I'm too upset to call them right now." "Dad, they're not home.  I'm watching Kaitlin." "They'll be back later?" "No, they went to Montana." "Montana?  Why?" "They went to look into adopting a Native American baby from Johnny's home town."  Chris felt terrible saying that to his dad, knowing what his mother was going through.  "I can try to call them on their cell phone or leave a message at their hotel and then I'll come over to Rampart." "Good Chris.  We need you all here."  What Roy wanted to say is he needed Johnny.  In the past, when times were bad, Johnny was always by his side.  He never had to say it.  Johnny was there.  Deep down, he wished Johnny was with him now. E!E!E! "Johnny I can't believe how beautiful it is here.  How did you ever leave?" Johnny looked at Jenny but gave her no answer.  'If she only knew why I left.  I'm not ready to tell anyone and some things may be better off taken to the grave.' "It is beautiful here.  We should be arriving at the motel soon." Johnny's cell phone rang and he handed it to Jenny." "Hi Chris.  What?  Say that again you're garbled.  WHAT?  Is she okay?"  Johnny pulled the car over to the side, fearing the worse.  "No.  I can't believe it.  Yeah.  Yes, we will.  We'll be home as soon as possible."  Looking at Johnny, Jenny couldn't control her emotions.  "Mom's at Rampart, Johnny.  She miscarried.   She lost the baby.   I want to go home ... We need to go home…I need to be with my mother." Johnny didn't hesitate for a second. Although Jenny was upset with her mother over the pregnancy, he knew the love that existed between them was still as strong as ever. From the side of the road, Johnny called the airport and discovered that the next flight back to Los Angeles was more than twenty four hours away.  However, if he and Jenny were to drive, they could get back there in roughly the same amount of time.  So the two discussed it and agreed that driving was the best way.  One could sleep while the other drove.  A quick call to the car rental company detailed their change in plans and then they were clear to drive home. E!E!E!E!E Roy was sitting in Jo's room.  She was sleeping mostly from the sedation they had to give her once she learned she lost the baby.  Chris left the hospital bringing Meg and Kaitlin back home to his townhouse.  While sitting in Jo's room Roy thought. 'How many times have I sat in these god awful chairs, worrying about my friends or family?  How many times was it for Johnny?  Between his virus, the snakebite and his gun shot, I've probably logged more hours in Rampart then anyone else.'  Roy half chuckled over the thought.  JoAnne shifted in her bed emitting a soft moan.  'She must be so uncomfortable.  How is she going to get over this?  Even though it wasn't planned, it was kinda nice thinking about another baby DeSoto.  Kaitlin would have a permanent playdate.  Isn't that what they call them now?' 'Johnny where are you with my little one now?  I am so tired.  Jo's gonna need me to be strong and I'm gonna need your help Junior, to be so.' E!E!E! "She's asleep Chris."  Meg said as she peaked in downstairs.  Kaitlin was sleeping on Chris' pullout couch.  "And the nightlight is on and all of her Pooh bears are protecting her." "That's a relief.  She was so upset being at the hospital, especially seeing Dad the way he looked.  The last time she saw him that way was when he had his bypass operation."  Chris rubbed his face.  "Come here Meg."  Chris motioned for her to sit down on the bed next to him.  He pulled her into his arms and held her. "Are you okay Chris?" He shook his head no and softly said it.  "I'm scared, Meg.  My mom has always been the strong one.  You saw how she was when I was injured.  She's a fireman's wife, ya know."  Tears were in his eyes.  "She always worried about dad and then added Uncle Johnny to her prayer list.  I just hope she has enough strength left for herself."  Chris was silently crying.  Meg put her arms around him and held him.  She thought to herself, 'Chris must be a new age fireman.  I never thought a man in his job would be this sensitive.  Maybe he can't be sensitive because of what he sees in his job, which makes him more susceptible now.' "Chris, your mom will be okay.  The doctors said she came through the birth okay.  It's just the baby who….." "Its okay, Meg.  You can say die.  The baby boy didn't have a chance and that's why she miscarried.  Nature knew what it was doing.  I think of it as a blessing, in a strange way.  The docs said the baby had some major deformities from the rubella Kaitlin exposed her to and if, and that's a big if ,  he survived,  he would have needed serious medical intervention.  I just don't think my parents could have dealt with that.  It's enough with a healthy baby, but one that's ill, would have been so hard for all of us to deal with.  Dad and I know that, being in the medical world.  Well, mom's a mom and would have done anything for this baby." "I know what you mean, Chris.  This little one was going to be so special to your folks." Chris looked strangely at Meg.  "Wha… What did I say?" "Little one.  That's what my dad called Jenny.  I just hope Jenny can make up with my folks.  Mom's going to need her and Johnny." "Johnny?  How so?" "Remember Meg, Johnny was my dad's partner for ten years.  An' whenever dad got hurt, he was there for her.  When dad was in the hospital, Johnny came over and did whatever needed to be done in the house, even if it was just to throw out the garbage.  And when dad had his appendix out, Johnny sat with us in the waiting room.  Yup, my brother-in-law, aka Uncle Johnny, is true family, in every sense of the word.  Better than my dad's own brother." "Why did your 'Uncle Johnny' never marry, Chris?  He is a good looking man and I bet he had many women chasing him in his youth." Chris got more comfortable in bed and started to unbutton Meg's blouse.  He placed his hand on her belly and rubbed it back and forth, as he tilted his body toward hers. "I dunno.  I never asked him and it's not anything I'd ask now.  The only one who probably knows is my mom." "Your mom?  Not Jenny or your dad?" "No, I don't think Jen figured that out.  Being the youngest and a girl, she was over protected by us, including Johnny, so she's got a bit of growing up to do…even still."  Chris moved his hand higher up on Meg's upper body, causing her to shudder.  "Let's change the topic.  In fact, Meg, I can think of something else we can do," he said placing a kiss on her flesh. Meg chuckled knowing what Chris had in mind.  "You think your niece will sleep through the night?" "Don't know Meg, but right now.  There are other things that I'd like to 'discuss' right now." E! E! E! E! E Roy went home to shower early so he could be back when JoAnne woke up.  Based upon what Chris told him, Johnny and Jenny were driving straight through and were expected in Los Angeles by late afternoon.  After showering and eating some food, Roy went upstairs to the room he and JoAnne intended to use for the baby.  Although JoAnne was only in her fifth month, they accumulated some stuff for the baby.  Roy looked at the plush raccoon sitting in the crib.  There was also a plastic firetruck sitting on a shelf.  The border and paint sat in the corner.  Roy was going to paint the room soon, but now didn't have to.  In fact, he was going to return this stuff to the mega home store.  Roy took all of the baby stuff and placed it in several bags.  Stuff he could return was in one bag, and the other stuff was placed in another bag and moved to the garage.  Looking at his watch, Roy decided to head back to the hospital, not to work, but to sit by his wife's side. E!E!E!E "How's she doing, Carla?"  Roy asked of Carla, the duty nurse. "She woke up once during the night and cried.  We gave her another shot and she settled down." "Has she eaten anything?" "No, not even the Jell-O." Roy smiled, thinking about all the Jell-O Johnny consumed the many times he stayed at Hotel Rampart.  "I'm going to go in there now.  Johnny and Jenny should be here sometime today." Roy thought how fortunate he was to work in this place.  Hospital rules were more lax in the 90s then they were in the 70s.  Most hospitals liked having patients' friends and families around, as they helped with the patient's care. The door to Jo's room was opened and thankfully, she had no roommate.  Thank goodness for Mike Morton and the weight his title carried being the head of the ER.  Before Roy walked in, he decided to go to the hospital's commissary and come back with some food for both of them.  Jo may not eat the hospital food, but some muffins, croissants might entice her. When he returned to the room, JoAnne was awake and staring out the window.  Roy placed the food on the moveable tray and then went over to her and placed a kiss on her head. "Hi."  He said. JoAnne turned to face him and started crying. "Jo, it's okay.  Cry all you want."  She sat up and Roy saw that as his opportunity to hold her.  "Let it all out."  He held onto his sobbing wife for several minutes.  One of the nurses popped her head in, but quietly backed out as not to interrupt the couple. "Did you sleep any Roy?"  JoAnne set back and looked at his weary face. "Some." "Did you have anything to eat?" "Some."  He smiled.  "I brought up some coffee and cake.  Doctor Goldman said its okay for you to eat this stuff."  He broke off a piece of muffin and gave it to her.  JoAnne took it but put it down on the table. "Not now Roy.  I'm just not hungry.  Did Dr Goldman say what happened to the baby?" Roy shook his head, "the baby had major deformities.  He didn't go into the details with me."  That was a lie, as Roy knew exactly how afflicted the baby was. "We're going to have to have a funeral for him, you know." Roy nodded his head in agreement. "I saw Chris last night, but not Jenny or Johnny.  Where are they?" Clearing his throat before speaking Roy answered, "They're driving back from Montana." "Montana?" "Yes, they went to Johnny's reservation to inquire about adopting a Native American baby."  Roy checked JoAnne for any reaction, but didn't see any.  She just turned her head away.  "They should be here this afternoon.  For now, you have my undivided attention.  Chris and Kaitlin will be by later." "Kaitlin?  They didn't take her?" "Chris said that the drive from the airport would be long and Kaitie Roo wouldn't do to well, considering what Monte put her through.  So Chris didn't mind watching her.  He had Meg's help too." "Meg?" "Yes, Meg was with him and I'm sure she stayed with him to help.  She could be the one, JoAnne." No reaction came from JoAnne after Roy made that comment.  Roy sat with JoAnne, making small talk, but mostly JoAnne slept.  Dr. Goldman came by to check on her, which allowed Roy to wander around the hospital.  He ran into several people he knew who asked about JoAnne's condition and offered condolences.  Roy politely accepted them, but the words of comforted did nothing for his broken heart. Roy was sitting next to JoAnne when there was a tap at the door.  Jenny pried the door open and walk in with Johnny. JoAnne's eyes widen upon seeing her daughter come in.  Jenny rushed to her mother's side, sat down on the bed and embraced her.  The two women started crying.  Roy watched the two women and got upset.  Johnny saw what was happening, took Roy's arm and guided him out of the room toward the elevator, ultimately heading for his office. "I'm so sorry Roy."  Johnny said as they entered his office. "Thanks Junior." "Man, I wish we were here when it happened.  Damm!" "I understand Johnny and I know Jo does to."  It was difficult for the soft spoken man to maintain his composure. "Yeah, but for us to be so far away, it's not right….." "Come on Johnny.  You two are adults and don't have to report in to us." "I know, but that's not how families should be, at least not this one." The two sat in silence for awhile.  "Do the doctors know what happened, Roy?" Roy rubbed his face.  "It was Jo's exposure to Kaitlin when she had the German measles.  The baby had serious malformations which led to the miscarriage."  What Roy said was so clinical, so without emotion, it took Johnny by surprise. "Oh man.  What can I say Roy?" "Hey Johnny, it's not your fault or Jenny's or Kaitlin's.  It just happened.  None of us thought about it until after the baby died.  By the time Jo knew she was pregnant all of us forgot that Kaitlin had it.  Only after Goldman started asking questions, did we put two and two together.  Don't blame yourself.  Please Junior.  I don't need to worry about you." "Worry about me?"  Johnny asked with his hand pointing to his chest. "Yeah, you.  We're all gonna have to rally about JoAnne now.  She's been brave for all of us during our bouts with illness and now we have to settle the score." "Roy, you know that I'd do anything, anything for her.  And that goes for you to, Pally.  You don't have to ask.  Just tell me what you want to do.  Do you want me to make the funeral arrangements?  I'll do it." Roy looked up.  "Yes, can you do it?  Jo's gonna get out of here tomorrow and I'd like to have the funeral two days later.  No chapel, just a graveside service." Johnny didn't know how to pose the next question, but he asked.  "Do you have a name for him?"  Johnny was about to say your son, but thought it better not to. "Yes, Ryan Scott DeSoto." "Okay Roy, I'll take care of everything."  Roy leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. It was almost like old times. Johnny by his side, helping, doing what needed to be done. If only…Roy shook his head. He had to push all the unsettling thoughts away. No matter how much he may have hated what happened between his daughter and best friend, he couldn't stay angry with Johnny…his best friend. Johnny was and always would be there for him and any other member of the family, no matter what difficulty may stand. E! E! E! E! E It was an unusually cool day for the time of year.  Johnny created miracles for the family by keeping the service private. He let all their friends know that the family needed this time to themselves, to say goodbye to the little one who never had a chance at life. Each of their friends respected the DeSotos' wishes. Jeff, with the help of Dana and his crew, prepared things at the DeSotos' home for later when the family would all return home. He made sure there was plenty to eat and that nothing needed to be tended to. When they left, they left behind a card extending their condolences and their prayers.   The mourners, Roy, JoAnne, Johnny, Jennifer, Meg and Chris were assembled at the gravesite where Ryan would be buried. Kaitlin was with Dixie for the day. The little white casket was sitting above the open grave, waiting to be lowered.  Several white roses adorned the casket's top. The cleric finished his remarks and left the family to be alone with one another. JoAnne was having a difficult time keeping her emotions in check and Roy was having even a tougher time.  Roy was supporting JoAnne, when he started to falter.  Johnny immediately saw what was happening so he left Jen's side to help. Jo instinctively went to Johnny's arms for comfort and Roy had no qualms about it.  He knew over the years, Johnny was JoAnne's source of strength anytime Roy was injured.  Johnny knew exactly what to say to calm JoAnne down, as she had her head buried in his chest.  He held onto her tightly as she grieved, allowing her to come to peace with what happened.  This would never make up for all the times JoAnne sat in his hospital room, when Roy or the other guys couldn't be there for him.  JoAnne was always there for him and now Johnny was there for her. He knew she'd never ask it of him, which made it more important to him to console her.  If he had to stand there for hours holding her while she cried, he would do it.  He saw Jenny standing by herself, crying.  Upon making eye contact with her, he motioned that she should go over to Roy, who seemed so lost and alone. Jen went over to her father, to hold onto him and offer him her support.  Roy gathered his daughter in his arms and allowed her to see him cry for the first time in her life.  Jen was not Roy's 'little one' at the moment; she was his very own pillar of salt that he could depend on during his time of need. Meg watched this in fascination, seeing the different roles the members of this family took.  It was a very moving, emotional experience for her.  She looked at Chris and saw him crying so she put her arms around him, likewise to offer him what little comfort she could. Off in the distance, a man stood by himself.  With binoculars at his eyes, he also watched the tragedy that these two families were living through.  The end for now..........also know as to be continued, hopefully! Betty & I would love to read your comments.  Tell us right here! Kajakat's comments - I always look forward to writing with Betty.  She keeps my ideas alive.  We still have at least one more story planned for this series, but you never know!  And thanks to the Guins who help me with my sanity or lack thereof! Betty's comments:I really don't know what to say. I've enjoyed working on this series with you. I never realized in the beginning, when we worked on the first part, just where the  story line would lead. And look where we are at now 'Part 5'. We've put both the Gage and DeSoto families through many triumphs and tragedies, and through it all, for the most part, we've maintained that special bond that exists between Johnny and Roy. The bond that was forged in the beginning when they first met in paramedic training and then later when they worked as partners. Janet, I want to thank you  for being patient with me while this story was being developed and written. With Real Life interfering, things I enjoy 'like tinkering with ideas and developing plots' took a back seat to everything. return to main menu