"Hey, Ellen! Wait up!" Chet yelled. Ellen stopped halfway to the back door of the fire station and waited for Chet and Johnny to catch up. She looked up at the clouds roiling in the early morning sky and knew there would be more rain. Almost as soon as Dixie had left Ellen's apartment two days before, the rain had begun falling, making only brief pauses from the torrential downpours. What a way to begin my second shift, she thought. Johnny reached her side a split second ahead of Chet. "Hi there," he said. Ellen smiled. "Hi, Chet, Johnny. I think we'd better get inside before we get soaked." She pointed up at the sky then began walking toward the back door, the two men walking alongside her. She stopped at the door and opened it. "After you," she said, making a sweeping motion with her free hand for the two men to enter. "Ladies first," Chet said. "Now that isn't what you called me when we first met," Ellen said, her twinkling eyes meeting Johnny's. "Well, I changed my mind. And I say ladies first." Thunder rumbled in the sky overhead as Chet took a step toward Ellen to usher her inside. "Chet, will you get inside? Wet blue jeans and I don't mix." Ellen's laughter rang out with Johnny and Chet's as she hurriedly followed the two men into the dayroom. She closed the door behind her just as a gust of wind tried to tear it out of her grasp. "Whew," she said and turned around to face the table. "Hi, guys." She took off her windbreaker and joined the group of men. A man, a stranger wearing a gray plaid flannel shirt and jeans, stood with her shift mates. "Hey, Ellen," the men replied in greeting. Ellen draped her jacket over her left arm, accidentally covering her scar, as the unknown man with sandy hair stepped forward along with Captain Stanley. "Ellen, this is Tom Dwyer, a paramedic on C-shift," Hank said. "Tom, this is our trainee, Ellen Ferguson." Dwyer extended his hand and Ellen shook it with a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Ellen." His eyes twinkled as he glanced quickly at her shift mates. "I've heard a lot about you. Seems you bested old Chet, which is something I would've given my right arm to see…." A puzzled expression appeared on the paramedic's face, amidst Chet's sputtering and the laughter of the others. "Do I know you? The guys said you work as a nurse at Rampart, but there's something familiar…." Soft color appeared on Ellen's cheeks. Embarrassed at the mention of the joke incident with Chet, she tried to deflect the conversation. "It's nice to meet you too, Tom. I'm sorry, but I don't recall us meeting before now. You've probably seen me around Rampart. I've been there for a couple of years-" Dwyer snapped his fingers. "Now I remember. I was there that night, a couple of years ago, when you and your roommate…." He looked at Ellen, surprised to see all color drain from her face. Coldness settled around Ellen that penetrated to her bones. Her eyes locked with Dwyer's. She knew the paramedic hadn't fully recalled the circumstances as he'd spoken, because of his surprised expression. Ellen could feel the intent curiosity of her shift mates at his words. She knew they would realize her scar and Dwyer's memory were linked and ask him what had happened, since she wouldn't tell them. So much for thinking time was on her side. Ellen opened her mouth then closed it. Swallowing, she tried again to speak. Her voice barely above a whisper, she said, "Lisa. Her name was Lisa. You were one of the paramedics?" Dwyer nodded, seeing he'd brought up a topic that he shouldn't have. Suddenly he remembered the full circumstances of their meeting and he knew why she had reacted as she had. "I - I asked Dix a couple of days after we brought you two in how you were doing. I saw you once at Rampart while bringing in another patient, but you'd disappeared when I was free. I wanted to tell you that I thought you were awfully brave." He saw some color return to her white cheeks and inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that he'd managed to talk her past the hard memories. He glanced at the other men and realized by their stunned expressions that they knew nothing of that night. He could tell them, but he wouldn't; only Ellen had the right to reveal what had happened. Brave. He thought she was brave. He had no idea what they'd gone through. The freezing cold melted as a wave of red-hot anger took its place: anger that she thought she'd come to terms with long ago. Suddenly she wanted to shout at him; the only thing that stopped her was the look of sorrow on his face. He doesn't deserve your anger, she thought and slowly reached for Dwyer's hand. Lightly holding it she said, "I didn't know, Tom." She released his hand. "If I had, I would have thanked you for your concern. Would you accept my thanks now, from the bottom of my heart and forgive me for taking so long?" Hank and the rest of his crew stared in silent wonder at the scene before them, trying to absorb what they were hearing. It seemed incredible that Dwyer had been on hand at that unknown moment in Ellen's life. They could tell by the grave expression on the paramedic's face and the words spoken that the situation had been serious. However, the information didn't quite mesh with their guesses and they were left wondering what had happened. Ellen's hand was ice cold when it briefly touched Dwyer's skin. Once again, his heart went out to her as it had that night. He remembered her firm refusal to be treated as a patient, her only concern for her roommate. He'd been angry then, partly at Ellen's decision, but mostly at the man who had injured the two women. He'd also experienced a strange keen desire to inflict bodily harm upon the culprit in a kind of retaliation. Those feelings had been the reason he'd sought out Dixie to inquire on their behalf; it had taken several days for the feelings to dissipate. Ellen was a strong lady, a survivor; the respect he'd felt for her so long ago resurfaced anew. "There's nothing to forgive, Ellen. I'm just glad you and Lisa are all right." An expression of sadness appeared on the trainee's face, and Dwyer felt his stomach clench. "Lisa?" Unable to say the few words, Ellen shook her head. She felt again the ache in her heart that had softened over time, but had never completely diminished at the loss of her best friend. "I'm so sorry," Dwyer said softly. Ellen nodded. "I know. Me too." A loud clap of thunder split the silence that had descended on the room, making everyone jump. "I'd better get going." Dwyer turned toward the door then looked over his shoulder. "Take care, Ellen." Without waiting for a reply, he ran to the door then out to his car. Another clap of thunder as the door banged shut galvanized the A-shift out of the awkward moment and into action. Johnny, Chet and Ellen ran for the locker room to change, Ellen first admonishing the men not to peek then vowing she'd be done first. Their shift mates laughed at Chet's answering challenge and grabbed mugs of coffee before sitting down at the table to await the results of the contest. ++++++++++++ The squad sped along the road toward its first rescue of the shift with the engine following and a white car bringing up the rear. The atmosphere inside the squad was quiet, though more relaxed than on the first shift three days ago. Ellen tried to come up with something to break the silence; anything that would take everyone's mind off the conversation she'd had with Dwyer an hour ago. "Do you guys get many reporters tagging along?" she asked, hoping that would divert their thoughts. "We've had a few," Roy said. "Not this Steve Burke fellow though," Johnny added. "Sometimes it went well, sometimes not so well." "Their being along to observe or their stories?" Ellen asked. "Both," Roy and Johnny answered simultaneously. Ellen glanced at both men and smiled. "Maybe I'll get you guys to tell me about some of your experiences. I bet they'd prove very interesting." She frowned as a thought occurred to her. "You don't suppose that contest we had will show up in Burke's article?" "Never can tell what a reporter will say. Or ask." Johnny chuckled. "Poor Chet. That's twice he's lost to you, Ellen." His chuckle turned into a laugh. "I think it's great." "Well, I sorta had you guys beat before the contest started," Ellen said softly. "Oh? Now what makes you say that?" Johnny asked, slightly miffed because she'd also bested him in the contest. While it was nice to see Chet squirm at losing, the paramedic had also been confident of winning. Ellen turned her head to face him. "I can explain with one word: buttons." "Come again?" Johnny asked. "That would do it," Roy said, trying not to laugh. Ellen smiled innocently. "You guys have buttons on your shirts; I don't on my tunic." "Oh, good grief." Johnny paused to consider something. His face lit up as he said, "Chet's really going to love this. I can see him right now appealing to headquarters for shirts without buttons…." Ellen and Roy laughed with him. "Here we are." Roy pointed to his right as an abandoned motorcycle came into view, lying near the edge on Johnny's side of the road. He parked the squad on the two-lane road across from a black Lincoln Continental where a man and a boy stood, waving wildly for them to stop. The engine and the white car stopped a short distance behind the squad. The motorcycle was about five feet away from the hood of the squad. A two-foot gouge, like someone had taken a bite out of the road, lay near the bike's front tire. Captain Stanley, Johnny and Roy headed for the man and boy who were advancing to meet them. Steve Burke raced to join the group, anxious not to miss out on any of the action. He could see the teenager struggling against the man's hand on his arm as the two joined the rescuers in the middle of the road. Steve noticed Ellen standing beside the squad as he joined the group, when suddenly the young man wrenched free of the older man's grip and ran toward the spot of the accident. "Help my friend! The road swallowed him and his bike up, right here!" Johnny and Ellen ran after the youth, meeting him at the spot where the mudslide had occurred. Captain Stanley extended his arms and shook his head, indicating to the others not to follow. Roy nodded, knowing it was risky enough for Johnny and Ellen to be on the possibly unstable ground without the addition of more weight. In the engine Chet, Marco and Mike watched the scene from their vantage point then looked at each other, their expressions taught. "You've got to get away from here!" Ellen said. She made a grab for the youth's arm, but he dodged out of her grasp. "My friend's down there!" Johnny caught the boy's arm as he backed into him. "We'll get him out. But first, you've got to get out of here. It's not safe…." The teenager tried to break free, muttering about his friend. Ellen moved close to the pair. "Stop that," she ordered. The boy stilled. "It's not safe here. We need to get back before-" A loud rumbling sound was their only warning. Ellen disappeared first. Johnny had a split second to push the boy away from him before the ground gave way beneath his feet. The paramedic and trainee fell madly, propelled down the ravine in a whirl of mud, water, brush and vegetation roots. Their open turnout coats caught on the brush still anchored to the hillside and were pulled off them. They struggled to catch their breath, sputtering and choking as the liquefied mud flew into their open mouths. Moments later they were unceremoniously dumped not far apart from each other into a pool of mud at the bottom of the steep hill. The motorcycle came crashing down seconds later, barely missing Johnny and Ellen as it landed in a shower of mud. The roaring was over in an instant. Hank and Roy raced to where the teenager lay on the ground. The captain hauled the young man to his feet and pulled him toward the middle of the road as Chet and Marco ran up with Steve and the other bystander on their heels. The boy kept apologizing as Roy quickly checked him for any injuries while the man sputtered to Steve about the amazing scene he'd witnessed. Ignoring the chaos that surrounded him, Hank grabbed his H-T. He raised his hand for silence. "Engine 51, Captain Stanley. Stoker, move the engine back to a safer distance. Make room for the squad." He looked at Roy. "How's the boy?" "Fine, Cap. Just shook up. I'll move the squad." Without another word, Roy left the group. "So what's the plan, Captain Stanley?" Steve asked. Hank refrained from stating the obvious. "Mr. Burke, I suggest you move your car, unless you want my engineer to move it for you." His lips twisted into a brief smile as Steve took off to move his car. "Sir, I want you to take this young man back to your car and wait for the ambulance. Chet, Marco, head for the engine and check the ground along the way for a stable place to descend." As the group broke up, Hank patted the dejected teenager on the shoulder. "Everything will be fine, son. Don't worry," he added with more confidence than he felt. Johnny opened his eyes. He was lying in about seven inches of watery muck. Nothing felt broken as he sat up and tried in vain to wipe some of the mud off his hands and face. There wasn't a clean spot on him to move the dirt to, so he gave up the attempt after a few seconds and surveyed his surroundings. He could see Ellen sitting up off to his right and further over another figure half submerged by the muddy water. "Ellen! You okay?" Raising himself to his knees, he crept to her. "Fine, Johnny. My guess is I'll feel like a Mack truck hit me by suppertime, but nothing's broken. How about you?" "Same here. Let's see if we can stand up in this stuff and tend to the victim." Together they managed to get on their feet. Carefully they tested the ground beneath them and found that while it was hard to maneuver, they weren't sinking in the muck too badly. Slowly they made their way to the other figure. Ellen grinned at Johnny as she fought to keep her balance with each step. "That was some ride, wasn't it?" "It sure was." Johnny also struggled against the suction power of the mud. "Man, I swear my shoes are going to get pulled right off my feet." He grimaced. "Just like my turnout coat. At least it isn't raining, though it would get some of this gunk off." "Hello? Help me," a weak voice said. "Take it easy, son, we're almost there," Johnny said. "How…. How did you…?" The voice was so soft it was barely audible. "Same way you did," Ellen said. "We've got friends up top who will be coming to get us." "That's right. All we have to do is wait." Johnny looked at Ellen who nodded at his unspoken comment: hopefully the young man could wait. "My leg…" "We're here, son," Johnny said as he and Ellen knelt beside the injured teenager who lay propped against the other motorcycle. "What's your name?" Ellen asked as she quickly checked his upper body while Johnny examined the boy's legs. "Jim…" He cried out in pain. "What's…. yours?" "I'm Ellen, and that's Johnny. He's got a broken right arm." "My leg…" Johnny looked at Ellen, his expression grim. "Right leg's broken too." He looked around in vain for a way to get the boy out of the liquid that he had just started to realize was cold. "Man, I wish we had those turnout coats," he muttered. Hank hurried to the rear of the engine where the rest of his crew were waiting, trying not to think of Ellen and Johnny at the bottom of the hill with the other teenager. "Cap, we secured lines to the engine and plan to make our descent from here," Roy said. Chet, Marco and Mike stood beside the paramedic with a stretcher. Roy held up his H-T. "We'll radio as soon as we locate them." "Just one stokes, Roy?" Marco asked. Roy nodded. "I know I'm guessing that Johnny and Ellen will be able to walk, but we can't take everything down there." He glanced up at the darkening sky. "And we can't wait for extra help." "Roy's right," Hank said. We need to get down there and back before it starts raining again. We'll treat them up here. The fewer trips up and down the hillside the better. Even this far away from the initial mudslide, we're still vulnerable." Hank's men began their descent and his waiting began. He knew only too well how friends and relatives of victims felt as they waited, the thoughts and feelings that went through their minds. The same things went through his mind each and every time one of his crew was in peril. Several minutes later, Roy's voice crackled over the H-T. "Engine 51, this is Squad 51. We've located the victims. One stokes was enough. Has the ambulance arrived yet?" "10-4, Squad 51." Captain Stanley breathed a sigh of relief that Ellen and Johnny weren't badly hurt then offered a short prayer for the boy. "Wondered when you guys would show up," Johnny said. "You should try sitting in this stuff, eh, Jim?" He looked at the boy then at Ellen. She shook her head. "He's drifted off again." "We'll get you guys out of here in a jiffy," Roy said as he looked for a way to lay the stretcher flat without submerging it in the muck. "Roy?" Ellen asked. "Since Johnny and I are already sitting in this stuff, why don't you use us as a bridge to set the stokes on?" "Great idea, Ellen," Marco said. Roy looked dubious. "Guess we don't have much choice." Ellen and Johnny stretched out their legs and placed them atop each other. Chet and Marco positioned the stretcher over them, holding each end to steady it. Roy and Mike quickly placed the young man in the stretcher and made him secure. "Okay, Chet, Marco get going," Roy said as a clap of thunder shook the air. "We're right behind you." He reached down and pulled Johnny to his feet.  "Come on, Ellen, your turn," Mike said as he helped the trainee to her feet. Johnny took a step and swayed. "My legs don't seem to want to work very well. Guess that stuff was colder than I thought."  Ellen didn't have to walk to know that she was cold. She'd been growing colder with each passing minute, seated in the muck trying to make Jim comfortable, while they waited for help. Every muscle in her legs felt stretched to the breaking point as she stood and for some reason the surroundings had started spinning. She closed her eyes to stop the motion…. "Hey, Ellen!" Mike said, grabbing the trainee as she started to slide toward the ground. Quickly he gathered her into his arms. Johnny lunged for Ellen at Mike's cry and almost pitched face first into the muck. Roy quickly steadied his partner with an arm around his waist. "Lean on me, Junior. Mike, can you handle her?" "No problem." Mike looked down at Ellen's face. "From what I can see under the gunk, she looks awful pale." Roy looked closely at his partner and noticed a similar paleness on his dirt-encrusted face. "Junior, can you make it with my help?" Drops of rain began piercing the liquid at their feet. "We got to get out of here." "Sure thing, Pally." Johnny smiled. "Just try and stop me. I can almost hear a hot shower calling my name. And boy do I need one." His smile faded. "I'm glad you got here when you did. I don't think the boy could have held out much longer." Roy nodded to Mike who led the way, following Chet and Marco as quickly as the muddy bottom would allow them. They joined the two firemen at the base of the hill, just as they had finished readying for the trip topside. "Mike, would you put me down?" Ellen asked again, her voice becoming impatient. "I can walk perfectly well up that hill. It's not as steep at this spot. I don't need to be carried." She'd been mortified to discover when she'd opened her eyes that she'd passed out. Try as she might, no one would listen to her assertions that she was able to walk. "Nope. You heard Roy. Even Johnny said no," Mike said and kept trudging along, sloshing one foot after the other. Chet noticed Ellen first. "What the hell happened?" "For once, Chet, I got the good end of a deal," Mike said as Ellen groaned. ++++++++++++ "Hey you guys look a lot better," Marco said as Johnny and Ellen entered the dayroom with Roy following behind them. "How's the kid?" "Thanks, Marco. I definitely feel like a new person," Johnny said as he grabbed a cup off the counter and filled it with coffee from the pot on the stove. "Doc says he'll pull through. Do you know that stuff we were sitting in is a part of first class spa treatment?" "Yeah, Gage? Well you definitely didn't get your money's worth," Chet said as he set the large stew pot down on the table. "Chow's on. Chili. Something to warm up your insides." Everyone sat down at the table, Ellen once again sitting between Marco and Mike. "What happened to Steve?" Marco asked as he filled his bowl. "I figured he'd still be tagging along for a few more hours at least." "He took off. Said something about he had all he needed," Roy said. "After a few questions and one run?" Hank asked. "That doesn't sound like the reporters who've been with us before." "Maybe he's the squeamish type," Mike said, accompanied by laughter from his shift mates. "I fail to see how he got enough information to write a story that talks about women becoming paramedics." Ellen frowned. "I'm a little worried about what he's going to write." "Ah don't be," Chet said. "Reporters seem to write what they want regardless what you say." "Chet's right," Johnny said between spoonfuls of chili. "It's a fact of life, Ellen, just like you getting dressed first this morning. And all because of a little thing called buttons." "Buttons?" Chet asked, trying to detect a joke in Gage's expression. "What are you talking about?" Remembering his comment in the squad about Chet appealing to headquarters for shirts without buttons, Johnny started laughing so hard he couldn't reply. Chet looked at Roy who quietly sat eating his lunch then stared at Ellen. She immediately took a drink of coffee when their eyes met. "Okay, Ferguson, out with it." When she explained, he was once more stunned to find himself the brunt of a joke instead of the other way around. Shrugging off the thought that he was going soft, Chet began to laugh just as hard as his shift mates.   "Man, Dwyer will eat this up," Johnny said. Silence descended around the table as the A-shift recalled the conversation that had taken place with their trainee a few hours earlier. They watched Ellen look down at her bowl as if she wanted to disappear. Please don't say anything; talk about something else, she told herself silently, trying to will it to happen. "Ellen, about Dwyer-" Hank began. Her head flew up and the spoon she'd been holding clattered against the empty bowl. Frightened, pleading blue eyes stared into his as she pushed her chair back. Panic stricken, Ellen started to rise from her chair saying, "I think I'll do the dishes." "Ellen, talk to us. Please," Mike said. She stopped. Something in the engineer's voice pulled at her. Slowly she turned back to face the table. With deliberate movements, she pushed her empty dishes away and placed her hands face down on the table. "All right." Swallowing hard, she forced herself to be calm as she looked at her shift mates. "Dix came to see me after my first shift ended. She said that she and Kel- Dr. Brackett- asked to have me assigned here. Not only did they want me to have the best paramedics for the fieldwork but they also wanted me to feel safe. They're worried about me." "Cap told us who recommended you," Marco said. "Johnny and I got a good dose of how worried they are, Ellen," Roy said. "Do you feel safe?" Chet asked. He still felt like a heel acting the way he had. Ellen laughed. "I felt anything but safe with you hounding me all the time, Chet. But nothing else could break through the wall I'd built. I thought about doing it with my classmates, but it had become a crutch I couldn't give up on my own." "You said something about walls last time, just before you changed the subject," Hank commented. Smiling, he tipped his head as her startled eyes met his. "I didn't realize I was so obvious." Ellen ran her tongue over her dry lips. "I enjoyed myself on my first shift as I haven't since…" She looked down at her hands. "I still feel funny about them interceding on my behalf, but I'm glad they did." She met the captain's level gaze. "And I want you to know, Captain, that I'll pull my own weight." She stared at Mike. "Even if I wasn't allowed to walk up that hill." Mike returned her stare. "Don't try to change the subject." "I - I won't." She looked at her hands again. "I'm not ready to do this." "What I had started to say, Ellen, was that we weren't going to force you to tell us what happened, nor would we ask Dwyer." Hank leaned forward. "We knew before your conversation this morning that the situation had been serious. We've guessed what occurred, you see. As your captain, I could give you reasons why we need to know, but all I'm going to say is that we're concerned about you." His voice deepened. "You said you had to start trusting again. Try to trust us with this." He stared at his trainee. "I think you're more ready than you know." Mike laid a hand over hers. "Trust us, Ellen," he repeated. Marco covered her other hand with his and chuckled at her surprised look. "You won't be alone as you relive the memories. You need more than the table as an anchor." Ellen closed her eyes and let the warmth of the men's hands spread through her cold body. She breathed in deeply then slowly exhaled. "Lisa and I were senior nursing students at UCLA. We were student nurses at Rampart; best friends since kindergarten." She opened her eyes. "One night in March two years ago, Lisa had a date with a graduate student she'd seen a couple of times." She was falling back into the memory that she'd tried so hard to shut away. "Ed Rittman. I had an evening class. I came back to our apartment after class, just as he was about to leave." Her voice became taut with emotion and her breath ragged as the memories bore down upon her. "I heard whimpering… he smiled at me…. said hello darlin'… blood on his hands…."  "Oh God, it was your roommate. We thought it was you who had been raped," Johnny whispered. Ellen shook her head. "No. Ed- He raped Lisa. He-he was determined to leave and I - I was determined he stay. We fought." "My God. The bastard," Chet growled. "So that's why Dwyer was there. And that's how you got your scar." "I seem to recall Dwyer wasn't quite himself for a few days," Roy said. "Remember?" "He almost knocked Chet's block off over a silly joke. Took two of us to hold him back," Marco said. "He talked about a run he'd had," Mike continued. "I don't remember what he said, but I bet it was about you and Lisa." Ellen didn't seem to hear; she sat perfectly still, her distant expression tense as if she were under tight control and would shatter into a million pieces. Mike glanced at his friends, silently asking them if she should be allowed to continue. Hank opened his mouth, but Ellen resumed talking. So, Cap was right, he thought; she did need to talk more than she knew. "He acted like he'd done nothing. There was a partial brick wall separating the dining room from the front door with glass figurines on top. The figurines broke and I got my scar. We banged into a lot of things, walls mostly, but I wouldn't let go. I - I made him mad … he hit me… the pain when my ribs cracked… he got away… I raked my nails down his left cheek so hard it bled…" She took a deep breath and shakily let it out. "I did what I could for Lisa until help arrived. When Dwyer came, I refused to be treated-" "You did what!" her shift mates exclaimed. "You didn't want anyone to touch you," Johnny whispered. Suddenly Ellen's actions regarding her fall became clear. "You still don't want anyone touching you." He looked at Mike and Marco touching her hands. "It's getting better." Ellen's eyes came into focus. She stared at the men's hands covering her own. The warmth still flowed into her, anchoring her from drowning in the memories. It 'was' getting better, she thought. "The pain- mine and Lisa's- I didn't want to be hurt again." Johnny nodded. "I didn't think that at the time. Lisa needed me. I knew if I were treated, we'd be separated, so I walked to the ambulance and walked into Rampart. Tom was pretty upset, but not nearly as upset as Dix and Kel when they saw me." Ellen made a mirthless sound. "Shortly after we entered the treatment room, I passed out. When I woke up, I learned Ed Rittman had been arrested. "I thought things would get better; that justice would be served if he were brought to trial. Instead, the gates of Hell had opened. Lisa…. no longer knew who she was … thought what happened was her fault because she was pretty … Jack and I tried everything we could think of to help her. She didn't want to press charges, but I made her … told her the law was on her side… finally she gave in … the trial … the lawyer made Lisa out to be a tease …" Ellen's hands balled into fists. Her voice shook with rage. "Took a beautiful, bright, caring young woman … said she deserved-" Ellen stopped and fought for control. Hot tears slid from her eyes down her cheeks. Mike felt the tremors shake her body; saw the muscles along her jaw jump as she tried to control the rage he heard in her voice. "It's okay, Ellen." Her head snapped in his direction and she yanked her hands free. "No it isn't okay!" she yelled. She raised her fists, preparing to strike. "You don't understand!" Mike didn't flinch. He knew she was close to pummeling him in her anger at what had happened. "Yes I do understand. You want to hit me, don't you? You wanted to kill Rittman; wanted to kill every man in that courtroom because they're men and they sided with the man who had raped Lisa." He grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her. "I'm a man too, Ellen. So, do it!" He yelled. "Go on! Hit me, dammit! Hit me!" Ellen shook her head at Mike's tirade. "Yes. No. It isn't right…" Suddenly she was hitting his chest. "I wanted to kill him… hate him… hate him…. hate them all…" As quickly as her blows began, they subsided. Tears ran down her face as she looked into Mike's eyes. "Why…." His chest stinging, Mike pulled Ellen to him and held her, cradling her head in the crook of his neck as she sobbed. His eyes locked on Marco's and he saw his own anguish mirrored in them as he softly cooed to the trainee. After several seconds, she stirred and he slowly let her go. Ellen wiped her eyes with her hands and sniffled. "Here," Chet said, passing Ellen a paper towel. "Thanks," she whispered and blew her nose. Embarrassed by her display, Ellen stared at the paper towel she held. "Well I'm certainly glad you didn't take your anger out on me the other night," Chet said. "I'd probably be in intensive care." Ellen burst out laughing. "Chet." "Well it's true," Chet said. "I can't believe Rittman got away with just a mangled cheek. I bet he had some whopper bruises after the way you just hit Stoker-" "Mike!" Ellen frantically searched the engineer's face. Stoker smiled. "You didn't hurt me much, Ellen. That's why I grabbed your shoulders, to take some of the force out of your attack. You needed to let it out, but I wasn't about to bear the full brunt." He chuckled. "I agree with Chet about intensive care." "How did you know?" she asked. "That you kept everything bottled up inside?" Hank answered. He smiled at her surprise that he had replied instead of Mike. "It didn't take much to figure that out. We've seen all along how controlled you are. Sure you've come close to losing it, but you always stopped yourself." "You didn't want to hurt anyone except Rittman," Roy added. "My guess is you felt the depth of your rage when the trial ended-" "It scared you, didn't it?" Johnny interrupted. "Afraid and hurting inside, you built that wall you mentioned. Protected you from men and men from your anger." "You didn't finish your story, Ellen," Hank reminded. "What happened when the trial ended?" "You've figured out most of it. Lisa left the courtroom first, hunched over, defeated. Jack tried to hold her, but she shrugged him off. She looked at me while the judge was speaking. Her eyes blamed me; I blamed myself... I had to walk past Rittman… He touched his cheek and smiled at me. For the first time in my life I… I wanted to kill… I'd never felt anything so strong before; it scared me to death." Absentmindedly Ellen rubbed her scar. "I took Lisa and Jack home. She said nothing, just stared out the side window and cried softly. I didn't know what to say… I didn't understand why… Jack tried to talk to her… all the progress he'd made… gone… He never blamed me. He didn't have to; if I'd let Lisa do what she wanted, maybe she could have moved on. Jack had really been getting through to her; the light had started to shine in her eyes again. She even laughed some… "Jack offered to get us something to eat. I realized my car needed gas and asked him to fill my tank… I never saw him again. It was an accident; at least that's what the police believed. There wasn't enough left of my car to prove otherwise, but I always felt... I can still see the police officer outside my door…. Lisa heard him telling me about Jack. She went up to the roof of our building. I caught up with her just as she reached the edge. She couldn't take anymore and I couldn't stop her… She almost took me with her when she jumped… "Dwyer said I was brave this morning." Ellen made a rude noise. "I didn't help her in the right way. Don't you see? I failed her." "Nonsense," Roy said. "You're letting guilt eat you alive over a trial that wasn't your fault." "What happened to Lisa wasn't your fault, Ellen," Marco repeated. "You fought for her," Hank said. "You risked your own safety to try and stop that monster; you overlooked your own pain to stand by her; you did everything you possibly could for her and more." "You were a true friend to Lisa," Mike said. "A person can only stand so much before something gives. That goes for you too, Ellen." "When you reached your limit, you retreated behind a wall until you had healed enough to come out. That's not being a coward, Ellen," Johnny said.  "You can't predict how people will react to situations. As a nurse you know what I'm saying is true," Chet said. "I know. Part of me even believes what you're saying. But I still feel I should have done something different." She sighed. "I miss them." She smiled weakly. "Thank you for listening." She stood, her self-control restored. "I'd better see to those dishes before we get a run. I don't like scrubbing dried food." **** Ed placed the LA Times on the small desktop with a smile at his good fortune. He hadn't even been in LA a week and there in black and white was a story that gave him all the hope he needed of a successful outcome to his quest. While it didn't give him her home address, the newspaper story revealed that Ellen Ferguson worked at a hospital and was currently doing fieldwork at a fire station as part of a paramedic program. It hadn't taken him long to find the addresses of the hospital and fire station, which he recorded on a complimentary pad of paper that he found in one of the desk drawers in his room. He picked up the room phone and dialed a number. His idea was risky, but there was enough information in the newspaper article that he was reasonably sure it would work. "Station 51, Tom Dwyer. Can I help you?" "Yes. Could I speak with Ellen Ferguson please?" "I'm sorry, but she won't be in until tomorrow." "This is rather important. Would it be possible for me to reach her at home?" "Sure. Just a sec." Ed wrote down the phone number, thanked the man for his help and hung up. He checked the phone book and matched the phone number he had with a listing for Ellen Ferguson then added Ellen's address to the pad of paper. Tapping his pen against the edge of the desk, he planned aloud. "Okay, I have addresses and phone numbers of the main places to locate Ellen; I have a lease on a cabin outside the city for a month. What would be the best way to take her?" He thought a moment. "I think the best thing to do is to stake out the fire station tomorrow. Get a good look at Ellen and the lay of the land." He frowned as he stared at the three addresses. "Most likely none of those places will provide good opportunities to get close to Ellen. A fire would be the best scenario; all the men would be busy, leaving her alone and vulnerable." Suddenly he began to hum, knowing his career in insurance fraud would come in handy. This was going to be much easier than he could ever have imagined. "Three more days and you'll be mine, darlin'." ++++++++++++ "Yes!" Chet yelled. "Another strike!" He walked back to the table. "I'm hot tonight, gents." "I sure wish I'd get one tonight," Johnny said glumly. "At least I'm not rolling gutter balls. Eh, Mike?" Marco looked up from keeping score. "Hey, Mike, it's your turn." "Huh?" Mike said then realized it must be his turn to bowl. "Oh. Sorry." He stood. "Be right back." "Okay, okay." Chet laid a hand on his friend's arm. "I like to win, but I want to work for my wins." He sat down and motioned Mike to do the same. "Stoker, you're the best bowler among us and you're absolutely pitiful tonight. So what gives?" "I am not pitiful," Mike protested. "Maybe a bit off, but-" "You're rolling gutter balls for crying out loud!" Johnny said, laughing. Mike looked sheepish. "Oh. I guess I am." He shrugged. "My mind's on something else I guess." "More like someone else if you ask me," Chet said. "I didn't ask you, Chet," Mike snapped. "No need to get all bent out of shape, Mike," Marco said. He looked pointedly at Chet. "Look, we know you're thinking about Ellen and have been for a while." "What if I am?" Mike glared defensively at his friends. "Nothing. You've hardly said two words all night and that's too quiet even for you," Johnny said. "Speaking of Ellen, did you or Marco see what she thought of Burke's story in today's paper?" "I stopped by her apartment, but she wasn't home," Marco said. "It'll be interesting to see tomorrow what she thinks about what Burke wrote." "It wasn't a bad article for the fire service or the paramedic program," Johnny said. He realized Mike seemed not to be listening again. "So what about Ellen is bothering you?" "Never mind. You said it's my turn to bowl." Mike started to stand, indicating the conversation was over. Marco placed a hand on Mike's arm and shook his head that the conversation was far from over. "You've been preoccupied ever since you found out that she not only lives in the same apartment building as you and I, but she lives on your floor. I think it's cool to have her in the same building." "Yeah. Almost two years she's lived on my floor and I had no idea." Mike dejectedly plopped down onto the chair. "Come on, Stoker. You couldn't have helped her then even if you had known. She was hurting too badly and so frightened she wouldn't have let you," Chet said. "Did I tell you that Dix noticed right away that Ellen had told us?" Johnny studied Mike as his friends nodded. "That's not really what's bugging you." "Not all of it anyway," Marco added. "Why don't you just tell us and get it off your chest." "Stoker, I'm gonna say three words: ask Ellen out. It's that simple," Chet said. Mike grunted. "Why don't you ask her out if you think it's so simple?" Chet shook his head. "She's not my type." Mike glared at Chet. "What's wrong with her?" "Nothing. She's not my type either." Marco smiled. Johnny grinned. "Mine neither. There. You see, the way is clear for you to proceed." "Oh. Okay." Mike paused then his thoughts tumbled out. "I don't even know if she's my type. She seems interesting and I want to get to know her better. She may not even be ready to date again, let alone go out with me. Simple? It's anything but." Putting his elbows on the table, he rested his chin on his palms and dejectedly stared into space. "She's special-" "Yes she is. A very special lady," Chet said. "Ellen's the kind of woman a man settles down with; the kind a man can come home to. She 'is' your type, Stoker. Know why?" Mike shook his head. "We…" he spread his hands to include Marco and Johnny, "we date to find companionship. You date to find companionship 'and' a relationship. We're not looking for commitment; you are." "Now how in the world do you know that?" "How much time do we spend together?" Chet asked. "Okay, I get your point," Mike conceded. "Do you think she'd be too scared to say yes?" "Absolutely not," Johnny said. Chet and Marco nodded their agreement. "What's making you hesitate is your own fear, not Ellen's." "Gage is right," Chet said. "When all is said and done, you're afraid that somehow you'll hurt her. I don't mean physically either." "Yes. I am." Mike stood up. "Thanks for the talk, guys. Since my bowling is so bad, I'm going to call it a night. See you at the station tomorrow." "Staying aloof won't solve your problem, Mike. Chet tried that and look at him now; he almost purrs like a kitten whenever she's around," Marco said. "I resent that!" Chet laughed. "I wouldn't want it any other way." He looked at Marco. "Kitten," he said, lightly cuffing his friend on the shoulder as Mike left the table. "Think he's leaving early to talk to Ellen?" Johnny asked. "I doubt it," Marco said. "Want to try for one more strike, Johnny?" "You bet!" Several minutes after leaving the bowling alley, Mike stood at Ellen's door, his finger poised over the doorbell button. He was afraid and he didn't know why. It was more than a fear of hurting Ellen, but he couldn't put his finger on what the fear actually meant. Shaking his head, Mike lowered his arm and proceeded down the hall toward his own apartment. ***** Ellen hesitated before opening the back door and entering the station. Ever since she'd seen the newspaper article the day before she'd made a point of not being around her apartment. She'd taken a long drive rather than talk about the article with anyone; today she still didn't want to talk about it. "Just get it over with," she said out loud. Gritting her teeth, she opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her. Her shift mates were congregated around the table, talking with Dwyer. All eyes turned toward her. "Hi, guys. Nice to see you again, Tom." Taking off her jacket, she headed for the group. "Nice to see you too. Want some coffee?" Dwyer asked. "Sure." Ellen scanned the men's faces while Tom brought her a mug of coffee. "So what did I interrupt?" "Nothing much. Dwyer was telling us that you had a phone call yesterday," Marco said as the paramedic returned with a mug of coffee and handed it to Ellen. "Thanks, Tom." Ellen took a sip of the hot liquid. It was a little stronger than she liked to make it, but a lot better than Rampart's coffee machine. "Somebody called for me?" "Yep. Thought it might be about that article. I gave him your number. Did he call you?" "I stopped by to see what you thought of it, but you weren't home," Marco added. "I went for a drive along the coast. Got back after dark. Sorry I missed you, Marco. If it was important, he'll call back. Thanks for giving him my phone number, Tom." "Sure thing. I told him you work today so he may call here." "So, what did you think of the article?" Johnny asked. Something told him Ellen had fled her apartment for the day so she wouldn't have to talk about it. "It was okay," Ellen said and took another sip of coffee. "You're as talkative as Stoker," Chet said. Ellen's eyes widened at being compared with the engineer and she questioningly glanced at Mike. The engineer seemed not to notice as he glared at Chet. Raising his eyebrows at Mike, Chet turned to Ellen, thinking he'd have to play matchmaker if those two didn't talk to each other soon. "You didn't like it?" "It wasn't bad I guess," Ellen said. "I thought Mr. Burke did a good job describing the fire service and the paramedic program." Once started, she couldn't stop. "Course he was very tongue in cheek about my ability to do the work. And where did 'pretty' and 'spitfire' come from?" Everyone was laughing. "What's so funny?" "Why the fuss, Ellen?" Marco asked. "You're pretty and you're certainly a spitfire." "I can definitely attest to the spitfire part," Chet said. "Pretty spitfire. Sounds like a nickname to me," Dwyer said, eyes twinkling. "Gets my vote," Johnny agreed. Ellen tipped her head to one side and stared at the men as if they'd lost their minds. Pretty? "I'm going to change." She set her mug on the table then walked toward the apparatus bay, shaking her head in bewilderment. At the threshold she turned to stare at them again, her brows furrowed in confusion. Shrugging, she disappeared. The men stared after her, puzzled at her reaction. "Anybody home?" Dixie said, sticking her head into the dayroom around the back door she'd opened. "Hey, Dix, come on in!" Johnny crossed the room and ushered Dixie inside. "What brings you here, Dix?" Roy asked as she joined the group. "Can I get you some coffee?" Hank asked. "That would be great. I've got just enough time for a mug of good coffee before I have to be at Rampart." Dixie looked at the men and smiled. "You still here, Dwyer? Or are you working for Ellen?" "Just shooting the breeze," Dwyer said, knowing he wasn't fooling Dixie. "Ellen just went to change." "Here you go, Dixie," Hank said as he handed her a mug. She took a sip. "It tastes great. Thanks, Captain." She looked around, suddenly at a loss for words. She'd been rehearsing on the drive over what she'd say to the men standing before her, but now the words didn't seem right. "Is there something we can do for you?" Hank asked with a smile. "I find it hard to believe you'd come here just for a mug of coffee, however good." Dixie smiled. "Very perceptive, Captain. I tried to reach Ellen yesterday when I saw the article, but she wasn't home. Just wanted to make sure she was okay." She chuckled. "I sound like a mother hen, don't I?" Hank chuckled too. "We were just talking about the article, in fact. We were trying to figure out her reaction to the reporter calling her pretty and a spitfire. Ellen seemed a bit put out, especially by 'pretty'." Dixie laughed. "I'm not surprised. She hasn't heard the term in reference to herself very often. If at all." "I don't believe that," Mike said, more vehemently than he wished as all eyes rested on him. Dixie resumed talking, trying not to further embarrass the engineer, but wondering about his reaction. "It's true. Ellen spent a lot of time with Lisa and well…. Everyone noticed Lisa, especially men. She was beautiful with a wonderful personality and Ellen sort of got left behind. I saw it happen at a hospital party once. Most women would kill for the kind of attention Lisa got, but not Ellen. She seemed happy enough to have men as friends. Then after Rittman, she didn't want to be noticed at all." Dixie emptied her mug and got to the point. "Thank you for what you're doing for Ellen. The light is shining in her eyes again… It came so close to going out." "We're glad we could help," Hank said. "You care a lot about her, don't you?" Dixie nodded, her eyes unnaturally bright. "She's special-" "Dix!" Ellen entered the dayroom and ran to hug her friend. She stepped back, talking a mile a minute. "What brings you here? Is everything okay? You're not checking up on me are you?" Dixie laughed. "Hi yourself." She held up the empty mug before setting it on the table. "I just stopped by for some good coffee. Everything's fine, Ellen." She tilted her head. "Would I check up on you?" Ellen laughed. "You bet." Dixie burst out laughing. "True. Well, I wanted to see you in your new surroundings and to see what you thought of the article, Miss Pretty Spitfire." She stared at her friend. "Were you ducking me yesterday?" Ellen groaned. "Oh Dix, not you too! If only I hadn't passed out and could have walked up that stupid hill! I swear I'll never close my eyes again when I get dizzy!" She smiled sheepishly. "I admit it. I took one look at that article and fled." Dixie laughed some more. "Sorry. I couldn't resist. It wasn't a bad article, you know." "I suppose so. Tom said I got a phone call here yesterday. I sure hope it's not another reporter. One was enough." "Oh? I noticed a car parked across the street when I pulled up. The station's probably going to attract some attention for a bit, as well as you, Ellen." She laughed at her friend's dismay. "It won't last long." "I sure hope so." Her face lit up. "Hey, Dix, you have to see the fire engine. Is it okay, Captain?" Hank laughed. "Sure." Seeing the two women together, it suddenly dawned on the captain how vibrant Ellen had become. Lisa must have been even more so for men to miss his trainee. He looked at his men and had to stifle a laugh at the way their mouths almost hung open from surprise. "Cool!" Ellen grabbed her friend's hand and practically pulled her toward the apparatus bay. "Come on, Dix! It's so cool! And I can show you my locker and where I sleep…" Dixie glanced back at the men with a look that said 'See what I mean?' before Ellen pulled her out of sight. Mike waited until they were gone then started to follow. He wanted to see what Ellen had to say to Dixie about his engine. He was still wrestling with his feelings for the trainee. It seemed every time he reached a decision about asking her out he learned something new about Ellen that caused the debate to start all over again. "Where are you going, Stoker?" Chet asked. "To listen." "Sounds like a great idea," Johnny said as he and the others followed quietly behind the engineer. The men staggered themselves alongside the squad in the aisle nearest the wall. Ellen and Dixie had moved to the far side of the engine, but the men had no trouble hearing their conversation. "Isn't it the coolest thing?" Ellen asked. "Mike knows everything there is to know about it. Chet and Marco showed me the hoses, explaining what each one is used for. It's Greek to me, though I find everything they've showed me fascinating." She lightly touched the engine's bright red surface, careful not to mar the shine. Dixie studied her nurse. There was something odd in Ellen's voice when she'd talked about Mike Stoker… Dix remembered the engineer's vehement reaction and decided to question Ellen even though she was certain the men were somewhere listening. "What's going on between you and Mike, Ellen?" Ellen jumped, startled by the direct question. "Nothing; nothing at all. I shouldn't have hit him, Dix. He doesn't seem to want to talk to me now. I think he's usually reserved, but he's even quieter now than on my first day here. I try to stay out of his way so I don't bother him." She shrugged. "It's confusing." Ellen stared at her friend then looked away. "Do you think I'm pretty, Dix?" Dixie didn't hesitate. "I always have. Would it matter if you weren't?" "No," Ellen said emphatically. "I am what I am. You know, Lisa got all the attention and rightly so. I never minded. I'm not sure why, but I guess because I thought friendship was most important. Sometimes though, for just a second, I'd think it would be nice for a man to notice me first. You know?" Dixie nodded. Ellen pointed toward the dayroom. "They seem to think I'm pretty. It surprised me." "Your reaction surprised them." "Why?" "They had no idea you didn't know." Dixie smiled. If the men were listening, they were getting a rare insight into their trainee's personality. She fervently hoped that it helped a certain engineer. It seemed obvious to her that Ellen cared for Mike Stoker. She wished she'd paid more attention to see if he felt the same way. Maybe she could discreetly ask Johnny or Roy the next time she saw them at Rampart. "Oh." Ellen grew thoughtful. "I guess it would be nice to have someone who cared about me think I was pretty. But I think it would mean more to me to have a man who cared about me think I was special. I would certainly feel that way about him. After all, good looks don't last forever." She laughed suddenly. "What a hodge-podge! Now I know what tongue-tied means. Come on; I still have things to show you before you have to leave." Dixie looked at her watch. "Oh drat. It'll have to wait, Ellen. I'm cutting it too close as it is if I leave now." "Okay. I'll walk you out to your car. Since the garage door is open, we'll go this way. I'll tell the guys you had to go." The men breathed a sigh of relief at not being discovered eavesdropping. They stood, watching Ellen and Dixie walk down the driveway, each immersed in his own thoughts. Mike had listened and learned a great deal from the conversation. Suddenly he understood why he'd been afraid and realized he didn't need to be. It felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Chet touched his friend's arm. "Ask her out, Stoker." If the engineer couldn't hear that Ellen cared for him, he was tempted to get a frying pan and hit Mike over the head to knock some sense into his friend. Mike smiled. "I intend to." Ellen hugged her friend then watched as Dixie climbed into her car and drove off. She noticed the car Dixie had mentioned was still parked across the street. She could see a lone figure seated behind the wheel, but couldn't tell if it was male or female. After a few seconds, the car drove off and Ellen went back into the station. Her shift mates were just leaving the dayroom upon her return. "Dix says goodbye. The car she mentioned just left too." "Dwyer took off also," Mike said. "Male or female in the car?" Johnny asked. Ellen shrugged. "I couldn't tell. Only one person though, so maybe it was the guy Tom mentioned." Captain Stanley frowned. "Seems strange to wait so long then drive off without coming inside. Maybe we should keep an eye out; make sure we don't get blocked in." "Sure thing, Cap," Marco said. "So, Ellen, what do you want to learn today?" Mike asked. Ellen's eyes widened. He was talking directly to her! "Well, could you explain the gauges on the engine again? I couldn't even begin to explain what they meant to Dix. I just said you know all about them. I have to get the squad ready for the day, but then I'll be free until we get a run." "How about I watch you work and you can show me what you do?" Mike mentally crossed his fingers, hoping that one of his friends wouldn't blow what he was trying to do: show Ellen he didn't mind talking to her. Ellen's face lit up. "That would be great! You won't mind?" Mike shook his head. "Come on." He let Ellen precede him, pausing to look at his friends' amused expressions. Giving a quick salute, he joined the trainee. ++++++++++++ "Hey, is that the car you saw this morning, Ellen?" Johnny asked as the squad backed up the driveway into the station, after being called out to treat a heart attack victim. "I wouldn't swear to it, but I think so," she said. "I think I'm going to go see what's going on," Johnny said as the squad stopped. He opened the door and stepped down. "Something seems strange to me. Be right back." Johnny closed the door and strode down the driveway toward the car parked a few feet off to the left. Just as he reached the sidewalk, the car came to life and sped off. "Hey!" "So what did you find out?" Chet asked when Johnny appeared in the dayroom. "We'd noticed the car too, as we parked the engine." "He took off before I could get close enough to talk to him." Johnny sat down at the table. "It was like he didn't want me to get too close." "Does this sound creepy or what?" Marco asked. "Did you get a good look at who was driving, John?" Hank asked. "Not a perfect look, no, but I'm pretty sure it was a man. He was gone so fast I didn't even get a license plate number." Hank frowned. "I really don't like this. This person has been coming and going all day but won't make his presence known to us." "We're being watched?" Mike asked. "It sure looks like it. I just can't figure out why," Hank said. "I wish we had more information so I could call the police." He laughed. "Though what I'd ask them to do I have no idea." Ellen was listening to the conversation and suddenly shivered. "You okay, Ellen?" Mike asked as he sat down beside her. "Felt like the specter of doom passed over my bones." She laughed at the men's blank expressions. "It was just a chill." ++++++++++++ The tones sounded at eleven o'clock, rousting Fifty-one's A-shift out of bed after they'd just hit the sack. Quickly everyone donned bunker pants and boots over shorts and t-shirts then hastened to their vehicles. They sped through the night toward the address of the toy factory, glad that they could fight the fire without worrying about getting the workers out of the burning building. A lone figure entered the empty station via the unlocked back door. Using a flashlight for the darkened interior, he walked through the dayroom into the apparatus bay and stared at the huge wall map that outlined Fifty-one's service area. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and matched the address on the paper to the location on the map. Sure that his plan would work, Ed Rittman smiled at how well things were progressing. He'd got a good look at Ellen that morning when he'd been parked across the street from the station. Though she had been alone after the other woman had gone, he'd decided it was too risky to take her then and decided to stick with his original plan. While eating supper he'd seen an article about a closed warehouse in the LA Times, but he needed to check the map of the service area that he'd read hung on Fifty-one's wall. After his close encounter with Johnny, Ed had seen a toy factory about ten miles from the station and had decided to use that as a false alarm so he could get inside. Now Ed wandered through the station, secure that his dream of having Ellen would come true on her next shift. He found himself wondering which bed she slept in as he ended his tour in the locker room. Suddenly it occurred to him that she would need clothes. It didn't take him long to find Ellen's locker. He took all the clothing she had except her uniforms. He didn't want her wearing those uniforms when she was with him. His mission complete, he was about to close the locker door when his gaze rested on a tube of lipstick off to one side on the bottom, next to a bar of soap and a hairbrush. Picking up the lipstick, Ed pulled off the cap and turned the dial at the bottom of the tube to bring up the compound. It was a perfect color, not too light, not too dark. He could picture Ellen running the tube across her lips. Her clothes, her scent was driving him wild with need. Abruptly he decided to leave her a message letting her know he'd returned. There was no way he could be found and no way to stop his plan, so he figured there would be no risk involved. Imagining her reaction would be a nice addition to his other fantasies. He strode to the large mirror and quickly wrote some words in a big script across its surface. Finished, he placed the lipstick on the metal shelf above the sinks and left the station the way he had entered. "I don't see any smoke," Johnny said as the squad stopped in front of the factory. "Maybe we got here early enough so we'll have an easy time of it," Roy said. Everyone climbed out of their vehicles and met alongside the engine. "Doesn't it sound quiet?" Hank asked. "False alarm?" Chet asked. "It's possible." Hank grabbed his H-T and verified the address with the dispatcher. "Let's split up and walk around the building. Radio if you see anything." Mike and Ellen stayed behind while the others checked the perimeter of the building. They listened as each group reported their findings to each other then listened as their captain spoke to the dispatcher. "LA, Engine 51. We have a false alarm. Cancel other units. Station 51 returning to quarters." "10-4, 51," the dispatcher replied. "Do you get many false alarms?" Ellen asked as Roy drove the squad back to the station. "Some," Johnny answered. "But even one is too many. I just hope somebody didn't really need us while we were checking that place out." Ellen gasped. "I completely forgot about that." "Home again, home again," Roy said as he backed the squad into the station. "I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep now. Do you guys have a hard time going back to sleep after being wakened up?" she asked. "Takes awhile to train yourself to sleep right away," Roy said. "Course sometimes you're so exhausted from a run you have no problem at all," Johnny added. "Then there are those times where what you've seen on a run can keep you awake no matter how exhausted you are," Roy said then smiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so morose." "That's okay, I know the feeling," Ellen said, following Roy and Johnny into the dorm. Her shift mates were already climbing back into their beds. She halted at the aisle then decided she'd better go back to bed too. She fell asleep soon after her head touched the pillow. "Station 51, apartment fire. 103 Dearborn. Time out 1:31." "No false alarm this time," Roy said as he parked the squad near the engine. Evacuees stood off to one side while firefighters poured water onto the smoking apartment building. Residents still trapped screamed from open windows. "Get set up, Ellen," Johnny said then followed Roy toward the building. ++++++++++++++ Three hours later, Roy, Johnny and Ellen stood at the nurse's station talking about the fire while they replenished their supplies. Johnny grabbed the H-T. "LA, Squad 51 available." "Squad 51, return to quarters," the dispatcher said. Ellen saw Johnny and Roy exchange glances as they took off for the squad. "Do you guys get called back to the station often?" she asked as Roy drove away from Rampart. "Not very often," Roy answered quietly. "Certainly not at this time of night," Johnny said, his voice tense. "Somebody's hurt?" Ellen voiced what the others were thinking. Johnny stared into Roy's eyes over the trainee's head. "Something's definitely going on." "Look at the place," Johnny said as Roy prepared to back up the driveway. "It looks like every light's on." "There's a police car and the chief's car parked at the curb," Roy said. He backed into the apparatus bay, noticing another police car pull into the driveway and stop, its lights flashing. Johnny got out of the squad and stepped aside for Ellen to exit as two police officers carrying equipment entered the station. "What the hell's going on here?" Johnny asked. Ellen spotted the captain and the chief standing with a police officer at the rear of the squad. Foreboding filled her at the sight of their grim expressions. "Where do you want us, Officer Howard?" one of the police officers asked, squeezing past Johnny and Ellen. "Come with me," Vince said. The two men followed him into the locker room. Captain Stanley held up a hand to stop Johnny and Ellen as they reached the rear of the squad. Roy joined them, noticing the others congregated in the doorway of the dayroom. Chief Houtz stepped forward. "Hello, Ellen." "Hello, Chief," Ellen said. A strained smile appeared on the chief's face as he shook her offered hand. "It's nice to see you again." "You too." Ellen looked at her two superiors and swallowed. "Hadn't you better tell me what's going on? It does concern me more than Johnny and Roy, right? You came to me first." "I'm afraid so. Someone has been in the station," the chief said. "I think I feel my past rearing its ugly head," Ellen said, trying to make light of the situation, but her stomach somersaulted at the chief's remark. She knew her face betrayed her emotions by the way everyone stared. "Ed Rittman? Here? While we were fighting that fire? Why?" Johnny asked. "Yes, only we're thinking it happened during the false alarm," Hank explained. "Nothing was taken or disturbed, except…" He paused, unsure how to continue. "What, Captain?" Ellen asked. Her heart was beating so hard it felt like it would jump out of her chest. The thought of Ed Rittman prowling through the station then her peacefully going to sleep afterward made her skin crawl. "Cap, we weren't gone more than a half hour on that run," Roy said. "I know. We found a message on the mirror in the locker room when we went to clean up after the fire. It wouldn't have taken long to write. It's a guess, but we're thinking a correct one," Hank said. "A message? We slept here for 2 hours, Cap, with something like that around?" Johnny said, unable to accept what he was hearing. Ellen couldn't feel anything. She listened to the conversation as if it didn't concern her, welcoming the distance the numbness created. "I'd better see the locker room, Captain." "We're ready any time, Hank," Vince said as he joined the group. Ellen approached the police officer and held out her hand "I'm Ellen Ferguson." The officer shook the offered hand. "Officer Vince Howard, ma'am." He glanced at the men flanking the young woman. "Would you mind coming with me?" Ellen entered the locker room after Vince, the rest of the group following behind. She froze as she saw the words on the mirror: Hello darlin' Remember me? See you SOON ED "Oh my God," Johnny whispered as he stared at the words. Ellen read the message again as her mind tried to understand what she was seeing. Her gaze traveled down to the shelf and she saw her lipstick tube. When she returned her eyes to the message, things clicked into place. Realizing her survival depended on a clear head, she forced her mind to accept her horrifying thoughts then faced the others. The men stared as Ellen slowly turned toward them, astonished at her calmness. "You searched the lockers, Captain?" Ellen asked, knowing before he spoke what the answer would be. "Yes, except for yours." Ellen glanced at the two officers standing off to the side. "Were there any prints on my lipstick or my locker?" "Just smudges," Vince answered. "It looks like he wore gloves." Ellen nodded then exhaled. "Officer, I'm ready to check my locker…" She paused, glancing again at the two officers before meeting the captain's gaze. "Would all of you please wait in the dayroom?" "What?" Hank asked. "Why?" Johnny asked. "Ellen, that's not a good idea," Roy said. Ellen raised a hand to silence the men. "Please. I need to speak with Officer Howard. I'll explain in the dayroom." She looked at Vince and decided to ask her question. "Without prints do you still need those officers?" Vince saw her reasoning and shook his head. "You can go, men." "Ma'am," the two men said and quickly left. Ellen turned toward the aisle between the two sets of lockers. "I'll be all right, Captain. Officer Howard?" Hank stared at the trainee. He saw the implacability that Dwyer must have encountered two years ago and nodded. "Let's go join the others." Chet, Marco and Mike stood as the men entered the dayroom. They'd been sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking, trying to make sense of everything. Their conclusions chilled them to the bone. "There's fresh coffee," Marco said, pointing toward the stove. "Where's Ellen?" Chet asked as Johnny and Roy headed for the coffee pot. "With Vince. She's going to check her locker," Hank said, picking up his mug. He took a sip and grimaced at the lukewarm coffee but swallowed anyway then took another drink as if he needed it. "By herself? That's insane!" Chet said and headed for the doorway. "Hold it, Chet," Hank ordered. "She wanted us to leave." "Dismissed us is more like it," Johnny said. "That's crazy," Mike said. "No it's not. That message did something to her. I knew she'd react somehow, but not like this. She's distant, frozen, with a will of iron," Hank said. "She's figured things out, then," Chet said. Johnny looked puzzled. "Think about it, Gage. We have." "It isn't pretty," Marco said and grimaced that the way the word 'pretty' had been used earlier in the day was so different from the present connotation. "Let's sit down, shall we? Ellen will be here shortly to explain. We need to see what she finds in her locker before we speculate any further on Ed Rittman's intentions," Chief Houtz said. "What do you think she'll find in her locker, Chief?" Roy asked softly. He looked at his partner and saw that Johnny had also started 'speculating'. Chief Houtz shook his head and sat down at the table. The other men silently took their places around the table to wait for more information. Ellen stood in front of her locker with Vince beside her. After a moment's hesitation, she opened the door and gasped. Only her uniforms were left; every other piece of clothing had been removed. "It's true then," she whispered and closed the door. "I didn't want to believe it." "I take it by your reaction, Miss, that something is missing?" Vince asked. "All of my clothes are gone; everything but my uniforms," Ellen whispered. She took a deep breath and faced the officer. "I had a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that I wore here this morning plus shorts and a couple of t-shirts for sleeping, along with extra underwear." "I see." Vince made some notes on the pad he carried. He'd been recording various things since he'd arrived at the station. "Do you?" Ellen searched the officer's face. The gravity of his expression convinced her. "Maybe you do, Officer." Vince regarded the young woman before him. Wide, frightened blue eyes stared at him in a pale face that was a sickly gray in color. He felt her fear despite the calm strength she wielded like a shield. "From what I've heard, it seems that Ed Rittman is a very dangerous man. If you haven't heard from him in over two years, he came here tonight with a plan; leaving the message may or may not be a part of it. I would say that you are the center of his plan." He stared at her. "The same conclusion you've reached." Ellen returned his gaze without flinching. "Yes." She paused. "I'm not sure how much the others have figured out. I have to tell them… I may need your help, Officer Howard." "I'll do all I can, Miss Ferguson," Vince said. At her nod, he knew she understood the full meaning of his words. Silently they returned to the dayroom. The seated men stood when she entered, their expressions tense. Ellen could feel the blessed numbness deserting her as she walked to the table and sat down between Johnny and Chet. Vince occupied the chair between Roy and Mike. "So what did you find in your locker?" Chief Houtz asked. "He took my clothes; everything except my uniforms," Ellen said. She saw that the men had guessed Rittman's ultimate goal, but she forced herself to say the words. "He intends to take me." "He was in the car wasn't he?" Johnny asked. His face paled. "My God, Dwyer spoke to him on the phone yesterday." "I believe so, yes," she said. "That stupid newspaper article helped him find you, but we won't let him take you," Chet said. "It did more than that. It helped him pull his plan together," Ellen said. "It did such a good job of explaining what goes on in the fire service that he quickly realized I would be the most vulnerable on a run. He won't need the information he got from Tom." "I thought he wanted revenge," Roy said. "In the beginning, I believe that's true. He hates me as much as I hate him. I saw it in his eyes when the trial ended. But it's no longer about making me pay quickly for his face. Oh, I'll pay; I'll pay every time he touches me… I'll pay until he gets no pleasure from me or he's through with me. Then I'll end up in a shallow grave." She stared at the men, daring them to deny the truth of what she said. "We won't let that happen, Ellen," Mike said. "His plan is formed. He's in control." Ellen looked at Mike. "I know you want to protect me, but when called out, the main focus has to be the run. It's that simple." The engineer returned her unwavering gaze and nodded. "So he rigs a false alarm to get inside the station," Johnny said. "To do what? Take your clothes and write a message?" "A fire," Hank said. "The article said Ellen didn't fight fires; she stayed by the squad to treat any injuries. I bet he needed to see the map. Check it against an address he had so he could be sure we'd respond. The clothes and message were afterthoughts." "He'd set a fire and while we're busy…" Marco stopped, unable to finish. "Vince can find him," Chet said. All eyes focused on the police officer. With a glance at Ellen, Vince said, "It won't be that easy." At the ensuing protests, he held up a hand for silence. "Think about it for a minute. Rittman will do everything in his power to disguise himself. Even if I do find him, all I can charge him with are misdemeanors. That will only delay him-" "You make it sound like there's no hope," Marco interrupted. "Now you understand," Ellen whispered. "Rittman can only be stopped if he's caught in the act of committing, or has committed, a crime. Even if Rittman's found, I'd still have to be his bait in order to have even a slim hope of the legal system working in my favor. Knowing is 'not' proving." She stood. Though the conversation had gone better than she'd thought it would, the numbness had gone, leaving her raw. "If Rittman's got all of his pieces in place, he won't wait long to make his move," Vince said. He'd been watching Ellen while she talked, amazed at her calm demeanor despite the danger she faced, but he could tell she couldn't take much more. "Next shift then," Marco said. "I can't believe this!" Chet yelled. "We sit here completely helpless while a lunatic can do whatever he damn well pleases! It just doesn't make sense!" A strangled sound escaped from Ellen's lips before she could cover it up with her hand. Needing to get away, she stared at the men a moment then headed for the apparatus bay. "Chet, hush," Roy said. "Ellen?" She'd reached the doorway and stopped. Without turning around, she said, "I'm going to clean the mirror. When I'm finished, you'll either have the shiniest mirror ever or not be able to see a damn thing in it." She laughed mirthlessly and disappeared. Chet looked crestfallen. "I'm sorry. But it makes me so damn mad to be unable to do anything!" Johnny touched his friend's shoulder. "I know." Chief Houtz spoke. "Is Ellen right about being bait even if you find him, Vince?" "It would depend, but yes, she's right," Vince said. "The main thing is to find Rittman before he tries to abduct Ellen. Once that's done, we have options. I was thinking about how to try and find-" "Stoker, what are you doing?" Chet asked; noticing Mike had left the table. Mike turned to face the group. "Ellen needs me," he said and disappeared. Chet exchanged glances with Johnny and Marco. "Go on, Vince. We'll fill Mike in later." "Okay," Vince said. "LA's a big place and it's been a long time since he was here. Not knowing where to begin to search for Ellen, it would seem to me that he'd start at the point where he left." The men's eyes were blank. "UCLA. Maybe his disguise has made him confident enough in his anonymity to get a motel room under his own name." He stood. "With that in mind, I've got work to do. I'll be in touch, Hank, Chief." Mike stood on the threshold of the locker room and watched Ellen wiping the mirror with a vengeance. Sniffling sounds reached his ears. He saw her swipe her eyes with the back of her free hand while she attacked the mirror with the other. Suddenly seized with an urge to hold the trainee, to wipe away her tears and offer comfort, the engineer stepped forward then stopped. Why did she have such a strong effect on him? How would she react? Shaking off the questions, Mike walked toward Ellen, aware that she didn't notice his approach. He picked up an extra sponge from the cleaning carrier on the floor and asked, "Can I help?" Ellen turned her head, surprised to find Mike standing beside her with a sponge in his hand. She quickly resumed wiping the mirror to hide her tears. "Sure." Mike started at the opposite end of the message. For several seconds they worked in silence. "I didn't know salt water was good for cleaning." She snorted. "I don't know that it is." Her hand touched his, indicating the task was finished. She stared at their hands, wanting to speak but not knowing what to say. Suddenly her vision swam as a wave of emotion filled her eyes with tears. Avoiding Mike's gaze, Ellen turned away and returned her sponge to the carrier. Her back now facing the engineer, she quickly wiped her eyes and fought to tamp down her feelings. Mike placed his sponge on the shelf and silently followed the trainee, stopping close behind her. "It's okay to be afraid, Ellen," he said softly as she straightened. For an instant she hesitated then with a sob, she turned and buried her face against his collarbone. He drew his arms around her, holding her while she gave vent to her emotions. "Why can't he leave me alone?" she asked with a sniffle. "If he'd only stayed away I could have accepted that he didn't pay for his crimes. But now-" Mike grabbed Ellen's shoulders and pulled her away from him so he could see her face. "What are you saying? That you won't fight to protect yourself? That you feel sorry for that monster? What?" "It isn't that I feel sorry for Rittman. I'm having a hard time facing what I may have to do in order to stay alive and I'm afraid revenge may take the place of self-defense. He took so much from me, Mike, without consequence or responsibility for the actions he chose. And there's my own part in Lisa and Jack's deaths. Nothing I do will bring them back." She shrugged. "I'm just trying to be clear in my mind about my motives." "As far as I can see, not fighting to protect yourself will only keep Ed Rittman from facing the consequences." He gripped her shoulders tighter, his gaze intent. "Sacrificing yourself because you blame yourself for still being alive is not something you should even remotely consider. You don't know that your death would have changed the outcome for Lisa and Jack." "I miss them." Two tears ran down Ellen's cheeks. "And you always will. But it's up to you to make their lives have meaning, to show that they were important to you. Sacrificing yourself to Ed Rittman instead of standing up to him and fighting for your life only condemns your friendship with Lisa and Jack." Gently Mike cupped Ellen's face, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. The slow strokes of his thumbs quieted Ellen's turmoil. She knew he was right; she knew she needed to seriously consider what he'd said, but the sensations she was feeling at his touch pushed all other thoughts aside. Slowly she laid her palm against his cheek. "You're different, Mike," she said softly. Mike closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the sensations of touching and being touched. Her cheeks felt soft, like velvet beneath his calloused thumbs. His cheek felt on fire beneath her soft touch, as if she were branding him. He opened his eyes and saw the question in her own, the softness of her expression. "I'm not afraid of being inadequate anymore." "You could never be inadequate, Mike. Not to me." "Ellen…" he whispered as he lowered his head, lightly touching her lips. Not wanting to frighten her, he moved slowly, gauging her reaction to his touch. Only when he felt rather than heard her utter a soft sigh did he kiss her lingeringly. Mike's face came closer and Ellen knew he was going to kiss her. She wasn't afraid. With a small sigh of contentment, her eyelids fluttered closed and she allowed his kiss to envelop her senses. When his lips left hers at last, Ellen opened her eyes then blinked to bring him into focus. She smiled. "Wow." Mike returned her smile. "I second that." He chuckled. "I haven't even asked you out yet." "I think you just did," she said, her eyes sparkling. Smiling to himself and giving a quick thanks to the heavens above, Chet silently backed away from the threshold of the locker room and returned to the dayroom to share the outcome of his eavesdropping mission with his shift mates. ***** Slowly Vince crept along the wall of the brick warehouse, his mind working feverishly. If he could catch Rittman in the act of breaking into the warehouse, a solution might present itself that wouldn't involve Miss Ferguson. If not-he thought back over the two nerve-wracking days since he'd been called to Station Fifty-one and learned of Ed Rittman. After leaving Fifty-one's he'd driven to the police station and begun searching for every bit of information on the two-year-old incident before writing his report on the latest incident. Next came the battle to convince his superior to allow him to conduct a search for Rittman to prevent a possible crime. The afternoon had flown by when Vince had stopped by Ellen's apartment to hear the story in her own words. Then he'd driven to the UCLA campus to start a careful search of the neighboring motels. Finally, he'd found where Rittman was staying and had alerted Captain Stanley. He'd staked out Rittman's motel room and followed him to the warehouse. Vince knew Ed would break into the warehouse to start a fire. If he couldn't stop Rittman before Fifty-one's A-shift arrived, he'd have to position himself where he could be sure to stop the abduction of Miss Ferguson. There wasn't much time, he thought as he rounded the corner of the short brick wall and began to inch his way toward the front door. Suddenly he felt a blow at the back of his neck. The world titled crazily then he felt himself falling as he collapsed to the ground. Ed nudged the body with the toe of his shoe. It didn't move. Bending down, he grabbed the policeman's shoulders and dragged him back around the corner out of sight. Something about the police officer's presence made him uneasy. What if his plan had been discovered? Staring at the body he'd propped in a sitting position against the wall, Ed shook his head. "Probably thought I was going to break in," he said aloud. "Well, he was right." Laughing, Ed headed for the front door of the warehouse. ++++++++++++++ Marco and Ellen were playing checkers when the tones sounded. "Station 51, structure fire. PDF Warehouse 615 W. 17th Street, cross street Daisy. Time out 18:25." For a split second, everyone stood motionless and looked at each other before running to the vehicles. Hank grabbed the mike in the radio nook. "Station 51, KMG 365," he said and then ran to the engine. Smoke billowed from the second-story windows as the engine and squad pulled into the small parking lot that faced the front of the warehouse. The men went into action, donning SCBA gear and getting the hoses ready, focusing on the fire and trying not to wonder where Rittman and Vince were hiding. Suddenly a security guard ran out the front door toward the group, pointing to the warehouse as he ran. He came to a stop beside Captain Stanley. "You've got to help me! My partner's inside!" "Where!" Hank barked. The guard coughed. "Second floor. We split up to make the rounds of the building." He grabbed the captain's shoulder. "You've got to get him out!" "Okay, okay, just take it easy," Hank said then gave orders to his men. "Get set up, Ellen," Johnny said before turning to follow his shift mates into the building. The men entered the warehouse and looked around to get their bearings. They were standing in a hallway with 3 closed doors to their left and a closed door at the end. Stairs led up and down to their right with another closed door at a right angle to the front door. "What's going on, Cap?" Chet asked through his mask. "I'm not sure," Hank replied. "This certainly isn't what I expected." "Is that guard for real?" Johnny asked, glancing toward the stairs. "Could there be somebody else in here?" "I don't know. Split up and search all of the floors. Radio what you find." "What about Ellen, Cap?" Marco asked. "Mike's with her and Vince is out there too. If Mike fails to check in, all we can do is get outside as quickly as we can. Remember she's a fighter. Let's go." The guard watched the men approach the warehouse and disappear inside. Mike had his back turned, working to make sure the water pressure was sufficient to fight whatever fire his shift mates found inside. Ellen had set up a small treatment area beside the squad. Now she stood near Mike and across from the guard. She watched her shift mates enter the building but her position also allowed her to study the man in the security guard uniform. The last man entered the warehouse and the guard turned toward Ellen, a smile on his face. Ellen knew that smile. "Hello, Ed," she said calmly. "It's been a long time." "Hello, darlin'. Miss me?" Ed laughed and drew his gun. Roy reached the top of the stairs and met Johnny and Chet. Both men shook their heads as Roy grabbed his H-T. "Cap, this is Roy. Basement and first floor completed. No victim, no fire." "10-4, Roy. Second floor completed. No victim. L.A., Engine 51. Fire is under control." Hank paused a moment, waiting to hear from his engineer. "Stoker, do you copy?" No answer. Mike whipped around and charged as Ed pulled the gun from its holster. He brought his fist down on Ed's gun arm, knocking the gun to the ground. Ed yelped and swung his left fist. Mike staggered back then launched an attack with both fists but he misjudged his opponent's agility. Ed deflected a well-aimed blow to his mid-section, causing the engineer to over-balance. Mike's back came into view and seeing his chance, Ed struck the back of the engineer's neck. Without uttering a sound, Mike fell to the ground. Ellen's gaze met Ed's before resting on the gun. Both lunged but Ellen reached it first and with a kick, sent the gun sliding out of reach. She had a moment to give him a victorious smile before his slap staggered her. "I won't go with you," she said. Ed grabbed her arm, flipped her around, and then held her back against him with his left arm across her throat. "We'll see, darlin'," he said, his lips nibbling on her ear then sliding to her jaw line. "Wonderful," he murmured. Suddenly the engine's loudspeaker came to life, startling Ellen's captor. Seizing her advantage, she slammed both elbows into Ed's ribcage then turned and drove her fist into his jaw with all her might. Before he could recover his balance, she lashed out with her leg, driving his legs out from under him. Ed frantically grabbed for Ellen's turnout coat as he fell, hoping to take her with him, but he found himself sitting on the ground holding empty material. Howling with rage, he flung away the useless coat then rolled and kicked outward. His leg caught Ellen in the back of her calves and she went down beside him. Ellen tried to catch herself but her head struck the parking lot with enough force to stun her. Dimly she felt herself hauled upright by the neck of her t-shirt. Ed gleefully held Ellen against him. Slowly he turned her toward him, supporting her unresisting body with one arm. "Perhaps now you'll come with me, darlin'," he said. "Let her go!" Chet yelled. Ed looked up to see that the firemen had left the warehouse and were headed straight for him. "She's mine!" he yelled and kissed her, driving his tongue inside her mouth while his free hand roamed across her chest. "Just a little bit to tide me over, darlin'," he said against her lips as he ended the brutal kiss. "No!" Johnny yelled and ran faster, but it seemed as if he and his friends were on a stationary treadmill. He watched Ellen struggle against Rittman, only to have her drop to one knee after receiving a resounding slap before being hauled once more against the madman's chest. "Vince, do something!" Chet shouted and ran on. Blood trickled from Ellen's mouth as she fell to one knee with a grunt. She heard shouts as if from a great distance as she once again found herself within Rittman's grasp. Suddenly she heard a voice that made her heart leap. "Let her go, Rittman!" Mike yelled and began his advance. Ed raised the gun he'd retrieved after downing Ellen the first time and aimed for the engineer's heart. "No!" Ellen screamed and pushed Ed's arm upward with all her might as the gun went off. "Bitch!" Ed screeched and backhanded Ellen, sending her flying. Ellen deflected some of the blow and with the last of her strength managed to break her fall but her head struck the parking lot again. Her mind barely had time to register another gunshot as darkness claimed her. Raised voices and a sense of urgency forced Vince's eyes open. In an instant, everything came back to him as he stood. A quick check showed his gun to be nowhere in sight. Realizing it must be where he had been struck, Vince rounded the corner in time to witness Ed's attempt to kill Mike. Seeing his gun a few feet ahead of him, Vince dove for it and came up on one knee, prepared to fire. He winced as Ed flung Ellen away from him then went into action. "Freeze, Rittman!" Vince yelled as Ed once more pointed his gun at Mike. Ed whirled at the sound and fired. Vince felt the bullet whiz past his ear and pulled the trigger with lethal accuracy. Ed Rittman sank to the ground and was still. ***** "So what's the verdict, Kel?" Ellen asked from her hospital bed. Dr. Brackett put his stethoscope away with a frown. "How's your head?" "It's fine. I had a good night's sleep." A grunt came from the opposite side of the bed, causing Ellen to meet Dixie's gaze with a smile. "Just a headache is all. I'm only banged up a little, Kel. I want to go home." "You need to rest, Ellen," Dixie said. "I intend to. But I can do it just as well at home. I need to do it different this time," Ellen whispered and looked at her friends. "Please." Dr. Brackett's frown deepened. "All right. I'll authorize it, Ellen." He shook his finger at her. "But total rest, understand?" "Yes, Sir," Ellen said and pushed back the covers. "I'll go take care of the paperwork and call a cab for your ride home." Dr. Brackett headed for the door then turned. "I'm glad it's over, Ellen, and that you're safe." "Thanks, Kel. Me too." "How is she?" Hank asked as the door to Ellen's room closed behind Dr. Brackett. Kel gazed at the row of men from Fifty-one's A-shift, including Tom Dwyer, who stood against the opposite wall. "She's going home." He raised a hand for silence. "Under my strict orders to rest." He sighed. "She seems sad. Can you believe it? Sad! Dix is in there. Hopefully she'll get Ellen to talk to her." Kel walked off, shaking his head. "So how do I look, Dix?" Ellen asked as she slowly left the bathroom after getting dressed. "Like you should be lying down," Dixie said. Ellen gingerly walked to the bed and sat down. She closed her eyes for a moment till the dizziness was gone. "Want to talk about it?" "About what, Dix?" "About why, after triumphing over Ed Rittman and knowing that, thanks to Vince, he'll never hurt you again, you're not happy." Dixie looked at her friend. "Don't tell me you feel sorry for him?" Ellen sighed. "No. It's just that I…" Dixie nodded. "You didn't get to talk to him." Ellen grunted. "He just manhandled me. I wasn't able to ask him anything." "Would it have made any difference? He still did what he did, Ellen. His treatment of you should prove that his heart was black." "I know. I just wanted to hear him admit that he killed Jack, thinking it would be me so I'd know for sure if I were partly to blame or it really was a stupid accident. But I don't feel sorry for Ed Rittman, Dix. Even if Lisa had changed her mind about having sex with him, all he had to do was tell her off and walk away. He didn't have to choose rape. No, he made his choices and paid the ultimate consequence and he's facing the responsibility for those choices." She looked at her friend. "While I'm partly to blame for the aftermath, I proved to Lisa and Jack last night how important they were to me by standing up to Rittman. I shall always miss them, but I think at last I can stand the thought of being alive." "You found a way to go on without them," Dixie said softly. Her eyes bright, Ellen smiled. "I can go on without them." Slowly she stood and nodded toward the door. "Are the guys still out there?" Dixie laughed. "I'd bet on it." Ellen grimaced. "I don't exactly look very presentable. I hope they don't run screaming in the opposite direction." She squared her shoulders and headed for the door. "Tom!" she said, catching sight of Dwyer as she crossed the threshold. Forgetting her bruised body, she hurried the few steps across the hall to the paramedic, only to stop abruptly. She closed her eyes as pain and dizziness engulfed her. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes. "Are you all right?" "I was going to ask you the same thing, Ellen." He held out a bouquet of flowers. "We were going to give you these to cheer up your room, but we hear you're going home." "Is that wise?" Johnny asked. "Yeah, Ellen, you look like you've been in a brawl on the losing side," Chet said. Ellen laughed then grimaced. "Chet, you're such a smooth talker. Dr. Brackett says to rest and I can do that just fine at home. Hopefully after two days I won't look too scary to go on runs." She stared at the captain. "That is, if I'm allowed to finish the training." "Is that what you want, Ellen?" Hank asked. "More than anything, Captain." "Good," Hank said with a smile. "Well I'd better get going while my legs will still hold me." She scanned the men's faces. "Thank you for coming to see me. And for the flowers." Mike stepped forward. "How are you getting home, Ellen?" "Dr. Brackett's calling a cab for me," she said then shyly looked down at the flowers she held. "I'll take you home." Mike held out his hand. "Marco can go with Chet." "Sure I can," Marco said, eyes twinkling. Ellen raised her eyes and met the engineer's clear gaze then traveled down to his outstretched hand. She looked upward, her eyes questioning. Mike nodded. With a radiant smile, Ellen laid her hand in Mike's palm. Everyone watched the pair as they left the group. Mike slowly placed an arm around Ellen's shoulders as she leaned against him while they made their way toward the elevator. "Is she all right, Dix?" Roy asked. "She's fine," Dixie said, her voice filled with emotion. She looked at the men. "Come on; I'll tell you what she told me over some coffee, even if it can't compare to what you guys make." Laughing, the group headed for the elevator. Feedback for Jamie return to main menu