A "Private" Conversation by Min and Nexxie Johnny and Roy entered the locker room, ready to begin their shift. Roy noticed that Johnny was walking funny, his face seemingly frozen in a grimace. Unable to resist Chet sticks his 2cents in "What's the matter Gage, your shorts too tight?" "Mind your own business, Chet." "Johnny, is there a problem?" Roy asked, concerned. "I had a date last night, Roy," Johnny responded. "So what happened?" "Man, I thought we'd have dinner, go to a movie, and stuff, but this chick, she wants to pick what we do and where we go, so me being a gentleman...." "You, a gentleman!" Chet scoffed, "I don't believe it!" "Chet, your idea of being a gentleman is to avoid passing gas in polite company." Roy smirked. "You were saying..." Johnny continued, "Well this chick really likes ice skating, she used to be a champion or something..." "So what happened?" Chet, being Chet, left the room, but sneaked back in through the dorm. He proceeded to eavesdrop on the partners. "So she talks me into taking her to the skating rink." "Johnny, you don't skate." "Roy, I couldn't tell her that. I mean this chick was really hot. I couldn't just come right out and say 'I don't skate'." "What did you do?" Just then the tones rang out, summoning the paramedics to duty. Johnny quickly finished buttoning his shirt and pulled on his shoes. He would tie them in the squad. "Squad 51, man down. 9578 Downey Avenue. Nine-Five-Seven-Eight Downey Avenue, cross street Baker. Time Out 8:05." As the two paramedics hurried to the squad, Chet was sure he would never hear the rest of the story, which had promised to give him some great ammunition for harrassing Gage. When Squad 51 arrived at the location, they found an elderly man down on the ground, surrounded by several little old ladies. "Excuse me, what seems to be the trouble?" Roy approached the group carrying the drug box while Johnny brought the biophone and oxygen. "He seemed to be fine and then he just keeled over," one of the ladies piped up in a trembling voice. Johnny patched in the older gentleman, while one of the ladies complained, "it was my turn to dance with him." Roy queried, "Excuse me, ma'am, you were dancing?" "Of course we were dancing, what did you think we were doing, young man?" "Ma'am, I wouldn't know. Do you know if he has a history of heart problems?" Roy asked. The lady seemed confused by the question. "I'm not sure, do one of you girls know?" "He's new here," one of the ladies volunteered. "He just moved in a couple of days ago." Roy nodded his head, and then asked, "What's his name?" "Walter, I believe...yes, Walter Jacobson." Johnny called the man's name, "Mr. Jacobson?" Getting no response, he tried a sternal rub. Mr. Jacobson moaned. Roy got on the biophone. "Rampart, this is County 51, how do you read?" Dixie's soft voice came back in reply. "Unit calling in, please repeat." "Rampart, this is County 51." "Go ahead 51" "Rampart, we have a an elderly man, approximate age, mid 70s, apparent cardiac. We have him patched in, we'll send a strip on lead 2." "Rampart, additional information on the patient. He apparently collapsed while dancing. He has been unconscious approximately..." Roy looked at the ladies for an answer. "He was out about 10 minutes before we called you, sonny." Roy swallowed a smile. "...approximately ten minutes. He is cyanotic and diaphoretic. We have him on O-2." Kelly Brackett had arrived at the base station, and was listening to the transmission. "Other vitals, 51?" "Vital signs are: pulse 68 and thready, respirations 12 and shallow, Blood pressure 90 over 50. Rampart, scope shows frequent PVCs." "Rampart, patient continues to be semi-conscious." "51, is the ambulance there yet?" "Not yet, Rampart." "51, start an IV Lactated Ringers, .25mg nitroglycerine sublingual, and transport as soon as possible." "10-4 Rampart, IV Ringers Lactate, .25mg nitroglycerine sublingual and transport." When the ambulance arrived, Johnny emitted a groan as he stood to help lift the victim onto the gurney. Roy looked at his partner in concern. "Johnny, you okay?" "Yeah, I'll be all right. I'm just a little sore." Johnny rubbed his hip as he stood at the back of the ambulance. "Want me to ride in with him?" Roy asked, frowning. "Nah, I can ride with him. You can deal with his girlfriends." This said with a smile. "Gee, thanks, partner," Roy said, only half-heartedly returning Johnny's smile. The old ladies were whispering among themselves and eyeing Roy. "Well, you know the older ladies just love you soooo much. And you're so good with them." Johnny climbed into the back of the ambulance. Roy handed him the biophone and the drug box, shut the door, and thumped it twice. "You ask him," one lady whispered loudly. "I will not," her companion whispered back indignantly, "and turn your hearing aid up, you're practically yelling." Roy turned around, and found himself surrounded by little old ladies." Thanks a lot, Junior. Thanks ever so much." he thought. "Hey, honey, do you dance?" "No, ma'am, I'm afraid I have two left feet." "Pooh," the woman said, disappointed. "Never mind, this one is cute, but the other one had a nice..." "Martha!" her friend interrupted. Roy chuckled and blushed as he closed up the squad's side compartments and climbed in behind the wheel. "Wait til I tell Johnny they thought he had a nice butt. He'll just love that," he thought. Picking up the mic, he keyed it in,"LA,Squad 51, 10-8 to Rampart General for patient follow-up." The key felt funny. "10-4, Squad 51," Sam Lanier's baritone replied. All the way to Rampart Johnny winced at every bump and jiggle. He would be glad to arrive at their destination. The seat in the back of the ambulance felt like a board. "Oh man, I'm the one who's gonna need MS if we don't hurry up and get there," he thought painfully. At Rampart, Dixie directed the gurney into Treatment three. After checking with Dr. Brackett to see if he was needed further, Johnny slowly and carefully walked to the base station to await the arrival of his partner. Roy pulled into the parking lot at Rampart, and backed the squad into its usual place next to the ER doors. He ambled into the Emergency Department and found his partner leaning against the counter. "So, Johnny, what did happen on your date, you never got to finish the story." Ellen Bart and two other nurses stood within earshot. "I'll tell you when we get to the squad, Roy," he said, failing for once to smile at the nurses. They walked out the doors and got into the squad. Picking up the mic, Johnny keyed in, "LA, Squad 51, available and returning to quarters." The key seemed loose on the mic. Better report that, Johnny thought. "So, are you gonna tell me?" Roy asked. "Oh man, Roy, what a night! We got to the skating rink, and she takes off her coat. She's got this short little outfit on, and it really shows her legs. Man, Roy this chick's legs are really incredible!" "Yeah? Incredible, huh? So what did you do?" "Well, I'm paying attention to her, and not to where I'm putting my feet, and I fell over the skates she had brought for me. I fell flat on my face!" "Flat on your face. So why are you limping and rubbing the other end?" "Well, after I picked myself up off the floor and put my skates on, we stepped out on the ice, and I took two steps out, and fell on my keister!" "You really fell for this one, huh, Junior," Roy grinned. "Oh, that's really funny, Roy. Ha ha. That's not the worst part, though. I got up and fell again, and when I fell, I grabbed her skirt, and pulled it off the outfit." "What did she do?" "She fell on top of me, and hit a delicate part of my anatomy." winced Johnny. "So, Junior, you got it coming and going!" Roy was laughing so hard he almost missed his turn. Back at Station 51 Hank Stanley stared at the speaker, unable to believe what he is hearing. "That twit has the mic keyed!" Kelly, laughing so hard tears were falling from his eyes, gasped, " This is better than cable!" Mike and Marco, unable to contain themselves, collapsed on the floor laughing. Mike, who usually didn't say much, howled, "I don't think they know it's on!" Sam Lanier tried frantically to find a way to switch the county to another frequency and had to resort to having battalions instruct their stations by phone to switch frequencies. "So, Junior, are you going to see her again?" inquired Roy still laughing. "Roy, are you kidding? We've got a date again for tomorrow night." Dixie McCall approached the base station to find a group of her nurses huddling around the receiver, faces red, trails of mascara running down their cheeks as they shrieked hysterically, unable to stop laughing. "What is going on here?" she demanded. "Miss McCall, listen to this, it's Johnny and Roy, and I don't think they know they're on the air." Ellen Bart could barely catch her breath, she had been laughing so hard. "Well, Junior," Roy said with a twinkle in his eye, "If you need some tender loving care to the damaged areas, I know some very mature ladies that wouldn't mind rendering first aid." "Wha...?" Johnny asked, perplexed. "You know, Johnny, those ladies with our patient we brought in. They thought you had a really cute butt." "ROY!" Hank Stanley tried to keep a straight face, be a good captain, but this was just too much. Kelly was doubled over under the speaker and Marco and Mike leaned against each other for support near the broom closet. Hank finally gave in and whooped along with the rest. He would get his dignity back before the squad pulled in. At Rampart, Dixie was having a difficult time keeping a straight face, but knew if she didn't regain some control over her nurses, she wouldn't get any more work out of them. "Don't you have work you could be doing?" she demanded. "But, Miss McCall, this is priceless, don't you think?" asked Sharon Walters timidly. Sharon, there are patients who need us and this hospital won't run itself while we enjoy listening to Johnny's misfortunes." A new round of giggling broke out as Gage's name was mentioned. "Sharon, Treatment Room Four is a mess. Ellen, Dr. Early needs some samples taken to the lab. The rest of you find something before I find it for you." As the nurses went their separate ways, Dixie leaned casually against the wall by the receiver, listening intently for the next transmission. Roy glanced over at his partner. "You know Johnny, it's hard being a sex symbol to a group of older women, I don't envy you." His blue eyes twinkled with mirth, "but at least this is just between you and me, no one else will ever know. Not even Chet." Dixie couldn't help it then, she lost her resolve, and burst out laughing. "Hey, Dix, what's so funny?" Kelly Brackett approached the head nurse to be greeted with a "Shhhh." "What's going on?" he asked. "The trials and tribulations of John Gage. This is too much. Apparently he had a date, and he's telling Roy about it. Unfortunately, he's also telling the whole LA County Fire Department." She started laughing again. "It's on the radio?" Kel asked with a wide grin, getting the picture. Unable to speak, Dixie just nodded, holding her sides. Back in the squad, Johnny had started in again about his date, and the skates, and how much his body ached. He was in full -blown rant mode, and had quite a head of steam up. Kel and Dixie were hanging on to each other roaring with laughter. "Oh my, poor Johnny!" he gasped. "I tell ya, Roy, I never want to see skates, or ice, or hear that bubblegum music again." Just then the squad hit a pothole and Johnny groaned. "Didja have to do that?" Roy looked amused. "We could put a couple of pillows on the seat for the rest of the shift if it will help." "Maybe ice would help, take the swelling down, whatdya think?" "I don't know, maybe you shoulda had Dr. Brackett take a look at it when we were at the hospital." "Roy, I don't want Brackett looking at my butt!" He sounded really peeved. At the hospital, Kel and Dixie could barely stand. Joe Early walked around the corner, and asked, "Are you guys all right?" They just looked at Joe and cracked up again. He walked away thinking, "Twits" Conversation in the squad ceased as they reached Station 51. Johnny was glad to have related his problem to Roy in privacy, secure in his best friend's descretion. When the squad had backed into the bay, Hank Stanley, tears running down his face, reached in across Johnny Gage and picked up the mic jiggling the key until he was sure it was turned off. "Twits!" he said, shaking his head as he walked away, but he was grinning ear to ear. THE "END" |