Maura

I open my eyes on a beautiful early Spring morning. As I stretch lazily and decide whether to get up or go back to sleep I remember. Today is the day! When I close my eyes tonight I won't be who I am now. This is the end of an era. It has been thirty long years, but now it is all about to come to an end and a new chapter is in the wings ready to start.

When I close my eyes tonight I will finally know. I will be one of the few who also know. I've heard so much about what it is like and I have imagined it a million times in my head. But now it will all be first hand knowledge. It will be real. I still can't believe it, but its true. Today I am going to meet…HIM. You know who I mean. Do I really have to say it?

The day goes by so slowly. The hours drag. I won't be on my way till mid afternoon. My biggest dilemma…what do I wear? I thought I had it all figured out. But today isn't quite as warm as I thought it would be. Do I readjust my whole ensemble or just go with what I have and deal with the cold? I decide to deal.

And what about the glasses? I HATE them! But if I don't wear them I won't be able to see HIM and I've been waiting for this all my life. I know I have seen HIM where glasses. Surely it wouldn't phase HIM. After all, I will be just one of a hundred faces in the crowd. I'll wear the glasses.

Now, do I bring anything with me? I have a picture of HIM I drew when I was eleven. No, that would just be weird. Aha! My five year old drew a picture of HIM for my birthday last year. That would be cute to bring. It might even make HIM smile. Oh yea, bring the picture to make HIM smile!

Now check everything. Camera…check. Ticket…check… Lipstick…check…Picture drawn by five year old…check. One more time, just to be sure. Camera…check. Ticket…check. Lipstick…check. Picture drawn by five year old…check. I'm ready to roll.

The ride goes quickly. Suddenly I find myself in the building, under the same roof as HIM. Will I see HIM casually walking by? Is everyone in the crowd waiting to see HIM too? What will I say when I finally get to meet HIM? "Hi there, I am a single mother who works and drives her kids to school, shops for groceries, cleans the house, does the laundry, brings out the trash…and secretly worships you from afar." Is that too weird???

How about, "Hi, I've loved you since I was eleven and it has been the best… ten years of my life." No I couldn't fool HIM. I look much older than that.

How about something simple, not too fussy, "Hi, nice to meet you!" It's short and sweet. Not much opportunity to forget anything. But will it be just "nice" to meet HIM? No. It will be much more than "nice."

How about, "Hi… meeting you is the culmination of thirty years of unrequited love and somewhat unhealthy fan worship. If I am struck dead right now I will die a happy woman for having met you." Hmmm…Maybe just, "Hi, nice to meet you."

Now I am standing close to where they are going to be seating HIM. He walks in and sits down and I can't speak. I am standing here and a few feet away is HIM. He is real after all. It wasn't just a dream. He walks and talks and sits and stands and….smiles. Ahhh… that smile. Some things just get better with age don't they? I am standing here watching HIM smile. It doesn't get any better than this.

I suddenly notice I'm getting closer. The line is moving forward. Suddenly my heart is pounding. I feel like I'm in line for confession. I almost want to get out of line, but that would be silly. This is what I've always wanted, isn't it? This is what I've always imagined, but never really believed would happen. I'm getting closer now. It's going to happen. Oh my god! It's really going to happen!

What did I decide to say? Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Yea, that's it! And what was I going to show HIM? Oh yea, the picture the five year old drew. And what is my name? Oh yea, it's on my pass.

Okay, I'm next. There he is. Right there. Talking to the people in front of me. It's HIM. Be cool. Don't shake. God forbid, don't cry. Oh please don't giggle like a teenager. What's my name again?

They're finished. It's your turn. Oh my God ! "Hi, my name is Maura, it's nice to meet you." I smile and extend my hand. Working in customer service for the last six months has paid off. I'm used to smiling and introducing myself. It feels natural. Then it happens. HIM reaches out and takes my hand and shakes it. "Nice to meet you Maura." HIM said my name. My name came from that mouth. My hand touched that hand. Am I still standing?

I give the picture to HIM to sign. He smiles at the simplistic image of HIMself on the page and writes a quick note.

Then I hand HIM, the picture of HIM to sign..for ME. He asks how to spell my name. How do I spell my name? Oh yea. I spell my name for HIM. I take the picture from his hand and don't even look to see what is written there. It doesn't matter. It was signed by HIM.

Now for the pinnacle of the encounter. Picture time! He graciously agrees to pose. He stands and puts his arm around me. My entire awareness is focused on his hand tightly wrapped around my shoulder. Not just any hand, but the hand of HIM. It's not just sitting there for the pose. It is really holding my shoulder. Without taking the chance of talking myself out of it, I put my arm around HIM. But still, all I feel is his hand on my shoulder. The lights flash, the moment is over and I say thank you and walk away. Still feeling HIM.

Now I know. Now I have seen, I have experienced, I ….have Proof! I saw Him! I spoke to HIM! I have two pictures signed by HIM! And I have a picture of me with HIM!

Yes sir, life is sweet. I have been to the promised land! I have climbed the mountain! I have seen HIS face! All that has gone before is a shadow. All that lies ahead is bright!

I close my eyes tonight and there is a smile on my face. I will probably always have this smile on my face. People may notice it and ask why I am so happy? What has brought such joy into my life? I will just continue to smile, realizing they could never understand. There are so few who could. Only those who have adored HIM from afar can know. Only those of us who have remained loyal to HIM through thick and thin can understand. Only those of us who follow HIM where he leads us can comprehend. It's all very clear to us. It is all because of……HIM

Maura

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