Mothers And Mayhem by Min and Nexxie The sun just began peeking over the horizon when the two paramedics exited the double doors of the emergency entrance at Rampart hospital. As rescues go, the last one wasn't out of the ordinary, but it struck a guilty chord in the blond paramedic. "Ah...Johnny," Roy DeSoto broke the stillness of the early morning. As he swiftly sorted and stowed the supplies recently acquired from the hospital base station, a tired Johnny Gage answered his partner almost absently. "What?" "Are you busy on Sunday?" "No Roy, I'm not busy, why? Jo got a honey-do list for you to do?" He grinned, knowing that if he helped out his partner, his partner's wife would reward him by cooking a wonderful dinner with an equally wonderful dessert. "No, Sunday is Mother's Day, and we were wondering if you would like to share it all of us. You're practically part of the family, and I know Jo would love to have you with us." Johnny looked at his partner, noting the hopeful look on his face. "Sure, why not? Do you want me to bring anything?" Roy had the grace to look sheepish. "As a matter of fact," he began. "Ah hah! I knew it." "Look, you don't have to do it," Roy said, somewhat irritated. "All right, all right, I was just givin' ya a hard time. What do you need me to do?" Roy sighed. "Well, I want to give JoAnne a dozen roses. I've already ordered them. They're her favorite color, a deep red almost purple." Johnny opened the door of the squad and got in, sure Roy would soon come to the favor. "But I can't pick them up Sunday morning, the florist is closed. And if I bring them home Saturday night, Jo will see them before Mother's Day. So..." "So would I pick up the flowers and keep them at my apartment until Sunday, right?" Johnny grinned, relieved it wasn't something tougher. "Yeah," Roy exhaled. "That's about it." He leaned down and started the squad's engine. "No problem," Johnny told him before lifting the mic. "L.A., Squad 51 returning to quarters." "Squad 51." "What florist are you using?" "Hannigan's over on Sepulveda, we use them all the time. We have an account there, so you won't have to worry about money, okay? Johnny, I really appreciate this. I also have a really nice necklace with a single diamond in it that I bought for her. It's a heart, and the diamond is at the base of the heart," He said proudly. Johnny whistled, "Man that must have cost a pretty penny." Roy grinned. "What do I think I worked all that overtime for at 16s? Joanne is worth it, and if I could afford it, she'd have more. She's given me two wonderful kids, and a lot of wonderful years of marriage." He smiled. "Okay," Johnny replied. "I know where Hannigan's is. Is there anybody else gonna be there Sunday?" Johnny held his breath as he awaited Roy's answer. These invitations sometimes came with a catch...one of JoAnne's unmarried relatives. Most of them were unmarried for a reason. "Just my mother," Roy reassured him, ably interpreting the anxious look on his partner's face. Roy backed the squad into the apparatus bay shut off the engine and followed his partner into the kitchen where B-Shift gathered around the table in to shoot the breeze with the soon to be departing A-Shift. Roy headed for the phone. "Hey, JoAnne, Johnny says he'll be there on Sunday...right...huh? Who else?" Johnny shot his partner a nervous look, not sure he like the sound of the conversation. "But...but...honey we can't. I didn't know you promised ...but what about...?" Roy's shoulders sagged in defeat. "All right. Yes. We'll work it out somehow. Huh? Can't it wait...? Just a minute, I'll tell him. Johnny, Jennifer wants to talk to you. She says it's important." "Uncle Johnny? I have to talk to you, it's very important," her voice lowered almost to a whisper. Johnny smiled. "What is it, Sweetheart?" his heart had been given to the blonde little girl with the big blue eyes when she curled her fingers around his shortly after her birth. She could ask him for anything, and he would move heaven and earth to get it for her. "Chris and I want to make Mommy some cookies for Mother's Day, and we can't do it here 'cause it would spoil her surprise. Can we cook at your house?" "Of course you can darlin', and I'll help all I can too." "Thank you , thank you , Uncle Johnny! I love you, Uncle Johnny!" His heart filled with joy. "I love you too, Jenny." Johnny hung up the phone and turned to gaze into the amused eyes of his shift mates. "What?" "Oh, nothin', Gage, you're just a pushover, that's all." "I'm not a pushover," Johnny declared, splaying one hand over his chest in a practiced gesture of denial. "Sure, John, sure." Chet's eyes twinkled. To say truth, Chet himself couldn't resist giving Roy's little girl "pony rides" around the station when she showed up, just like Mike couldn't resist letting Christopher sit in the engineer's seat and Cap found time to talk to both children. And Marco...well, he was no more proof against those blue eyes than Johnny. He just had other nieces and nephews to spoil. Johnny, who had none, concentrated all his efforts on Roy's kids. Johnny's smile disappeared as he confronted his partner. "Okay, Roy, spill it. Who's showing up Sunday that you didn't know about? Another of Jo's old maid cousins? Huh? Who is it this time, now that you have me roped into coming?" Roy set his lips indignantly. "It's not what you think, Johnny," he groused. "In fact I wish it was. JoAnne's mother is going to be there." "¡Caramba!" Marco exclaimed, "And you're just now finding out?" "Oh man! Roy! you know how she feels about me! Why does she have to be there?" "Because, partner, she's Jo's mom, and whatever else she is, we have to be nice to her. One good thing, my mom's gonna be there, we know how she feels about you." Johnny brightened, "Yeah, She likes me." He grinned. "Poor woman, she's probably senile, and doesn't know any better," Chet commented. "HEY! That's my mom you're talking about!" Roy yelled. "Sorry, man, didn't mean it, just wanted to get Gage's goat," explained Kelly. "Well, leave my mom out of it, Chet, or else," Roy threatened. "Ahem," Marco, ever the peacemaker, interrupted pointing to his wrist. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going home. I have some Mother's Day shopping to do and I could use a nice long nap." All the men of A-Shift realized that the shift was over and they were still standing in the kitchen. Kelly spun immediately and headed for the locker room, closely followed by Marco and Mike. Cap stopped long enough to wave at his replacement before he, too, departed. "Hey, Roy?" The blond paramedic stopped and turned around. "What time on Sunday? And what time tomorrow should I pick up Jennifer and Chris?" Roy thought a minute. "Come over tomorrow morning whenever you wake up...no make that eleven o'clock. But whatever you do, don't pick up the roses while the kids are with you." Johnny nodded acknowledgement and took the last jelly donut from the plate on the table leaving the crumbs for B-Shift. Malevolent looks followed him out. Johnny ran into the locker room and changed. He got into the Rover and headed for home. If the kids were coming over, he wanted to make sure he had his chores done so he could spend some quality time with them. He picked up the clothes that hadn't quite made it to the hamper, and sorted them to go into the washing machine. Then he tossed in the first load and got out the vacuum cleaner. He vacuumed and dusted the apartment, then threw the washed load into the dryer, and proceeded to start the next load. Looking around the apartment, he decided it looked good, and then lay down on the couch and took a nap. "Honey, I'm home!" Roy almost sang out the greeting as he walked in the door. Today the kids would go out to play and he could take a nap. Then would come a lunch...maybe they'd eat it outdoors on the picnic table. A little catch with Chris in the back yard, a short bike ride with Jenny and then a big dinner. Perfect day. And tomorrow, he waggled his brows in anticipation, his partner would take the kids for the afternoon, and Roy DeSoto would have his lovely wife all to himself. Roy's first indication that the perfect day might not be in the works after all was when a screaming Jennifer ran to hide behind him, hotly pursued by her angry brother. "Give it back!" Chris yelled. Jennifer leaned out from behind her father's legs and stuck out a little pink tongue at her brother. "I don't have to," she taunted. "Daaaaad!" Chris' whine was a call for justice. "Hold it! You guys know you're not supposed to run in the house! What's going on?" Both children decided to answer him at the same time, and as the volume rose, he raised his hand. "Wait a minute, one at a time! Christopher, you first." At Jenny's protesting wail, her father gave her a stern look, and said, "You will get your turn in just a minute, Jennifer." Roy's use of their full names was not lost on the kids. Chris swallowed, and said, "We were playing out in the back yard, and I threw the ball over Jenny's head, and she got mad, and now she won't give it back." Jenny stuck her tongue out at her brother, and said, "I'm not gonna either, you're a big meany and I don't like you any more." Roy looked at his daughter with surprise. "Jennifer Lynne DeSoto! That is not the way to speak to your brother!" The little girl's lip quivered. "But Daddy, he called me a bad name!" Christopher's eyes got wide, and his face grew red. "Son? Did you call your sister a bad name?" The boy looked at his feet. The blond head nodded. "What did you call her?" "He called me a poopy head!" Mortified, Christopher looked at his dad. "Yeah, but I really didn't mean it. Honest Dad." Roy tried to keep a straight face as he talked to both of his children. "In this house, we do not call each other bad names. We love each other, no matter what. Chris, apologize to your sister. Jenny, you will give your brother back his ball and you will tell him you are sorry." Both children apologized, and then got a hug from their dad. "That's better, now go and play, and no more fighting, got it?" "Yes, sir." They headed out the back door. Roy went in search of his bride. A shriek from upstairs alerted him to the exact location of his wife. Without hesitation, Roy DeSoto bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time, his heart racing. He rounded the corner at the top of the stairs and burst into the bathroom. Jo stood on the toilet holding her robe up around her knees. She let go with one hand to point frantically. "Get it out of here!" she screamed. Suppressing a fatal chuckle, Roy grabbed a wad of toilet paper and smashed the small spider that had his wife "treed" in their bathroom. "Well, what are you going to do with it?" She demanded as her knight in shining armor stood before her smirking. "I was going to bury it at sea, but...um...you're standing on the porthole." With a dirty look JoAnne stepped down and watched from a safe distance while Roy flushed the arachnid into oblivion...also known as the sewer system. "There, all gone. I've killed the big bad spider." Incensed by her husband's smug expression, JoAnne stuck her tongue out at him and said, "Poopyhead!" Then she stalked into the bedroom to get dressed. Roy sighed. There would be no "frogman and mermaid" this morning. He followed her into the bedroom. "You know, I just had a talk with our children about their colorful language. I told them in this house we loved each other." Jo turned around and looked at her husband. "We do, right?" He held out his arms, and she walked into them. "Of course we do, honey. I'm sorry, but Roy, you know how spiders make me feel." She tilted her head up, and her husband kissed her. "Yes, I do, that's why I flushed it." "My hero." She smirked. He kissed her again, this time more urgently. Her arms went around his waist. "Oh, Roy..." Johnny opened one sleepy eye and squinted at the clock on the wall. Was it really three o'clock? The dryer had long since ceased it's appointed task. A different rumble reminded him that it was long past lunchtime. He explored the refrigerator and decided that most of the contents would qualify as a science project. After pulling the trashcan in front of the fridge, Johnny proceeded to empty the shelves. He hesitated over one container. "How do you know if yogurt is soured?" he wondered aloud. Small fuzzy spots on top were the determining factor, and the tub of yogurt joined the rest of the items in the trashcan. Only a tub of butter, a carton of eggs, two opened jars of jelly and a bottle of ketchup remained. After some swift mental calculations, the carton of eggs was also evicted. "Better safe than sorry," he muttered. "Hmm, I oughta get something to feed Roy's kids tomorrow. They'll be here for lunch. Snack's too, while I'm at it." After mentally making a list, Johnny headed for the supermarket. At the supermarket, Johnny grabbed a cart and headed up and down the aisles. He got appreciative looks from many of his fellow shoppers of the female persuasion. They smiled at the handsome young man with the shaggy dark brown hair and the deep brown eyes. More than one wished they could take him home and keep him. Oblivious to all the attention, he headed for the snack food aisle. "Hmm, I wonder what the kids would like to eat?" "Hello, Johnny!" He turned around to see Dixie McCall pushing a cart toward him. "Hey, Dix, watch out for those carts, they'll get you!" "Oh ha ha, very funny." She mock punched him in the arm. "What're you doing here in the junk food aisle?" "Roy's kids are coming over tomorrow, and I like to make sure they have good stuff to munch on." Women pushed their carts by, smiling at Johnny, and glaring at Dixie. She grinned. "Well, I'd better get my shopping done, I'm having company for dinner tonight." "Hey Dix, anyone I know?" He grinned at his friend. "None of your business, hose jockey." She smiled and pushed her cart away. "Bye, Dix!" He called after her. A redhead in an abbreviated skirt paused to place a bag of chocolate chip cookies into the bottom of her cart. Johnny cleared his throat and pretended to study the contents of the item in his hand. Well, gee, complicated list...popcorn, and umm popcorn. The woman straightened up and Johnny sighed. She glared at him. With a soft casual whistle, Gage wheeled his cart in the opposite direction...into a stack of cereal boxes. A store clerk held his breath as the towering pyramid wavered and shook, threatening to undo an hour's worth of work. Johnny grimaced and backed up into a display of reduced and damaged goods. On top, it's cellophane wrapper slightly torn, was a big box of assorted chocolates. From the heart shape of the slightly dented box, he knew it was leftover from Valentine's Day. "Hmmm. I still don't have anything for Jo!" A look at the list of contents decided him in favor of the purchase. "Jo hates mints...she'll give me all of those." He smiled in anticipation, then frowned. "I sound like Chet!" After a moment, he tossed the box of candy into the cart and headed for the checkout. Arriving at home, Johnny put the groceries away, and took care of the bag. He called Roy's house, and Christopher answered the phone. "Hey, Chris, how are you?" "Hi, Uncle Johnny. Dad and Mom are in their room, and they are giggling. Do you want me to get them?" Johnny's face got red, and he stammered, "No, Chris, Just tell him I called, okay?" "Okay, Uncle Johnny, wait, here they come now." Roy picked up the receiver, and said, "Hey Partner, what's going on?" "I just got back from the grocery store, and ran into Dix. She was shopping." "Are you planning to feed my kids junk food tomorrow, Junior?" "No, and are you planning to do more giggling while I've got your kids, Pally?" Roy's face reddened, and he answered his partner, "Maybe, maybe not. Anyways, that's none of your business, partner." The smile in his voice assured Johnny that Roy was not really mad, just trying to keep things light between them. "Hey, Roy, you never did say what time I should be there on Sunday." Roy thought a minute and answered, "Better make it around eleven. We'll be eating at twelve-thirty." "And you don't want to be alone with your mother-in-law any longer than you have to." "No. N-no it's not that, it's just..." "What?" "Okay it is that. Just be here at eleven, okay?" "Sure, partner." There was a chuckle in Johnny's voice. He hung up the phone and switched on the TV. No sports. Friday afternoon programming yielded game shows and daytime dramas. Yuck. He hit the off button with a sigh and picked up the book he started several days ago, then stretched out on the couch to read. Saturday morning turned out warm and sunny. The DeSoto children, yesterday's argument forgotten, huddled together in the back yard whispering secrets. Their mom was in the house, but you never know. Moms are sneaky. Besides, whispering was more fun. The whispering lost its allure after a while and they concentrated on the swings, then moved to the sandbox. The hours and minutes seemed to drag until they heard the unmistakable sound of Johnny's Land Rover pull up in the drive. "Mom! Dad! Uncle Johnny's here!" Chris' voice resonated through the house. "Uncle Johnny! Uncle Johnny!" his sibling's shriek of joy rang out. "Hi, Sweetheart!" Jenny ran and leaped into his arms. As he spun her around, the sound of her laughter rang through the yard. Chris ran up to his favorite "Uncle" and gave him a hug. "Hey Sport, how's it going?" Roy and Jo, arms around each other's waists, watched as their children greeted Johnny. Joanne put her head on Roy's shoulder. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as Johnny approached them. "Hey! I saw that!" Jo put her left hand up and pointed at her wedding band. "See this? This says we can do that all we want." She smiled at her husband's friend. His crooked grin flashed back at her. "Hey, guys, you all ready?" Two bright blond heads nodded in eager agreement. "Okay, go hop into the Rover." Giggling, Chris and Jennifer proceeded to bunny hop down the driveway until they reached Johnny's vehicle. "Ah ha ha, funny," Johnny commented at their literal obedience to his instructions. He looked at Roy. "Yep, they're your kids all right. We'll see ya later and...oh, you two don't have too much fun, okay?" His voice had dropped to a mutter but JoAnne and Roy could clearly hear the words, "two kids are enough". The DeSotos waved as the four-wheel-drive vehicle backed out of the driveway and headed down the lane. Roy and JoAnne no sooner returned to the house than the phone began to ring. "I'll get it," Roy called. Moments later he was glad he did. It was the florist. Man, I'd better call Johnny, he thought. Two arms snaked around Roy's waist from behind as he hung up the phone. "Do you know what I hear?" Jo asked. "No, what?" "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No bickering over toys, no whining for snacks, no television, no name calling...nothing." Her eyes sparkled as Roy turned to face her. Roy caught the mischievous gleam in Jo's eyes. "Nothing is a very good sound," he agreed. An answering look appeared in his eyes. "Race ya to the bedroom?" Roy inquired. Jo rolled her eyes briefly before she gave Roy a little shove, just enough to knock her spouse off balance, giving her a brief head start. Jennifer stood, hands on hips, and took stock of Johnny's kitchen, evaluating it as if she'd never seen it before. "Hmm. We are going to need lots of bowls and cookie pans, Uncle Johnny." Smirking at the little general's serious tone, Johnny proceeded to root through the cupboard for a mixing bowl and his lone pizza pan. The little girl stared at the bowl and the pizza pan. "Is this all you have?" At Johnny's nod, she looked slightly disgusted. "Well, it will have to do," she stated. "Chris, are you going to help or not?" "Yes, I'm going to help, you don't have to be so bossy." "Uncle Johnny!" "All right you two, that's enough! Do you want to get this done or not?" Both blonde heads nodded. Johnny took a deep breath, "Okay, first, we have to get the ingredients." "What's ingredients, Uncle Johnny?" asked Jenny. "Boy, are you dumb. Ingredients is the stuff you make it out of," scoffed her brother. "Chris, Jenny is not dumb," corrected his uncle. "She didn't know what ingredients were, that's all. Right, Punkin?" he winked at her. She smiled and nodded. "What's first, Jenny?" Johnny asked, hoping she really did know. Jennifer looked thoughtful. "Mommy mixes up eggs and sugar and butter first," Jenny offered. "Eggs..." Johnny pulled a carton from the fridge. "Uh, how many, honey?" She frowned in concentration. "Two," she said finally, holding up two fingers. Johnny, figuring he'd better handle this part, broke two eggs into the mixing bowl and set the shells on the counter. "What next? Sugar?" At Jenny's nod, he asked, "How much?" One...no...two cups," his little helper informed him. "I like my cookies real sweet," Chris piped up. "Better make it three, Uncle Johnny." Johnny looked at the sugar already in the bowl. It already seemed like a lot. Oh, well, what did he know. He shrugged and dumped in a third cup. "What's next?" Chris thought a minute, then said, "Mom does something she calls creaming." "But she puts in butter, or that other stuff." "Margarine?" asked Johnny. "Yup, then she stirs it all together and then she puts the other junk in," answered Chris. "What other stuff?" asked Johnny, curious now. Jenny wrinkled her face up in thought, and then she brightened and said, "The soda stuff, and the flowers!" Her happy smile was contagious, and Chris and Johnny both laughed. "It's flour, Jenny, Mom uses flour, NOT FLOWERS." "Oh, okay, Chris." She smiled at her brother, and then at her uncle. "What do we do now?" Johnny reached up into the cupboard and pulled down the small paper package of flour he'd purchased earlier. "How much of this stuff?" he asked. Chris looked doubtful. "That doesn't look like the same flour mom uses, Uncle Johnny. What she buys is in a white package with a big blue dot and says 'All-Purpose Flour'." For a moment Johnny hesitated, then brightened. "Well, Chris, all-purpose must mean it can be used for lots of stuff, but this package says "Cake Flour". Cake is sweet, right? Well, so are cookies. I figure it just means this flour is used to make sweet stuff." Jenny nodded happily, sure that her Uncle Johnny must be on the right track. After all, he could do anything. Well, almost anything, she amended. Mommy says he doesn't know the first thing about finding a good woman to marry. Likely he just needs practice. "How much flour does she use, Chris?" "I'm not sure, Uncle Johnny. What do you think, Jenny?" The little girl thought for a minute, then said, "2 cups, I think, but first she puts the soda stuff in, but I don't know how much of that she uses, either. Do we have any of the soda stuff, Uncle Johnny?" She looked up adoringly at him. "Soda stuff? I don't know, kiddo, I'll have to look." Johnny was relatively sure there was nothing in his cupboard that said "soda stuff", but he checked anyways. You never know what some chick might have left. Nope. "What does the soda stuff look like, Chris?" "It's white and it looks like baby powder." Johnny bit his lip. He thought about the sodium bicarb in the medicine cabinet. Nah, I wouldn't want that in my cookies. "Do we have ta have it?" Two small heads nodded in solemn agreement. Johnny snapped his fingers and opened the refrigerator. He pulled out a can of cola. "This stuff is called soda. Maybe it would work?" Two furrowed brows showed disapproval. "Well, maybe it's the liquid form, " Johnny rationalized. "Anyway, it's all I have that sounds like soda." Jenny hesitated and then agreed. "It might work all right." Chris capitulated as well. "It's sweet, Uncle Johnny, so I guess it can't hurt." John Gage hoped he had the rest of the ingredients, whatever they were. "How much do you think I should use?" "Just a little," Chris informed him. "You don't want it gloppy. It has to get stiff, like Playdoh." Johnny took a large spoon out of the utensil drawer, and started to mix the ingredients together. He poured half of the soda into the mixture, and watched it bubble up and then settle down. It had taken on a slightly brownish hue, and was roughly the consistency of play-doh. The kids were thrilled, each wanting to take their turn mixing with the spoon. Johnny let each of them have a turn then finished mixing. Jenny picked up a stick of margarine and greased the pizza pan. Chris plopped spoonfuls of the mixture on the pan, and then when he was finished, Johnny placed it in the preheated oven. After setting the timer for 15 minutes, he asked the kids if they were hungry. Both DeSoto kids nodded in the affirmative, and Johnny proceeded to make sandwiches. Chris watched intently as Johnny spread a huge glob of peanut butter thickly onto a slice of white bread. "Didja get some bananas?" he whispered conspiratorially. Johnny winked at him and nodded. Plucking a banana from a paper sack on top of the refrigerator, Johnny blithely tossed it into the air from behind his back and caught it as it came down in front of Christopher. He used one end of the banana to tap Chris playfully on the nose, eliciting delighted giggles, before peeling and slicing the fruit onto the thick layer of peanut butter. Only Uncle Johnny indulged Chris in this snack favorite. His mother shuddered in disgust as much at the thought of the white bread as at the combination of ingredients. Roy looked a little wistful when Chris described the treat, but didn't counter JoAnne's reply of "absolutely not" to her son's request to have it at home. Jennifer turned up her nose at Chris' choice, being a purist, and spooned jelly on thickly to make her own sandwich. Johnny let Jenny have the rest of the grape jelly while he settled for strawberry. He sat three glasses of milk on the table and told the kids, "dig in". Chris solemnly shook his head, knowing that one thing his mom wouldn't forgive was skipping "grace". Jenny sat there in her chair, folding her hands in prayer. She looked up at her Uncle Johnny expectantly. "What?" asked Johnny. "We have to thank God for our food, Uncle Johnny. We learned that in Sunday School." "Oh, okay." answered Johnny, nonplussed. "Go ahead, kiddo, say Grace." Chris took a deep breath, ready to say the prayer, but his sister, started singing. "Oh the Lord is good to me. And so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain, and the apple seed. Oh the Lord is good to me." She stopped singing, and said, "Thank you for our food, God. Amen." She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. Johnny just sat and stared at the little girl. He had heard her sing before, but this was somehow different. "Aren't ya gonna eat, Uncle Johnny?" Chris asked around a mouthful of peanut butter and bananas. Startled out of his puzzled thoughts, Johnny dished up a crooked grin and proceeded to attack his own sandwich, chewing with gusto. "Hey, Uncle Johnny, didja forget something?" "What now?" Johnny asked, wondering if there were some further Sunday School ritual. "Are those potato chips for lunch?" Gage sighed in relief. "Naw, those are for later," he informed the little boy. Seeing Chris' crestfallen face, he relented. "But I guess there's no crime against havin' em right now." He stood up to reach for the bag of chips and, like the banana, tossed it from behind his back, first over his left shoulder, then over the right to the accompaniment of delighted giggles from his "niece and nephew". A quick glance reminded him that his only large bowl sat on the counter covered with the remains of cookie dough. With a shrug he tore open the bag and rolled the top down, forming it into a large bowl. Chris and Jenny happily dug in. "That's cool, Uncle Johnny. Mom always puts chips in a bowl, but this is better." Johnny grinned, knowing that while Jo ran a tight ship and kept Roy and the kids on a short leash, they could all let loose at his place. He was glad; he enjoyed having fun with the kids. When Roy came over, he let his hair down a little too, and relaxed. The cookies baking in the oven started to smell good. He sniffed appreciatively. "Uncle Johnny?" Jennifer gave him her best wide-eyed-innocent look, accompanied by a hopeful smile. "What sweetie?" Johnny already knew he would give her whatever she wanted. "Can we play camping in the living room?" It was a favorite game for the kids, although it pretty well destroyed his apartment. "Okay," he agreed. So much for cleaning the place up. As if spring-mounted, Chris and Jenny erupted from the table and bounded toward the bedroom. Familiar with every square inch of Johnny's apartment, they returned in short order with the blanket from his bed and as much of the camping gear from his backpack as they could carry. Johnny didn't have to imagine how much stuff lay on the bedroom floor. He knew from experience that the contents of his always-ready pack were strewn all over the hardwood floor of his bedroom. He brushed a hand through his hair. Oh well. Kitchen chairs were dragged into the living room to form the supports for their "tent" while a stack of magazines laid in a circle made the "campfire". Johnny strode forward and hurriedly looked through the stack of publications, swiftly removing two Playboys before they could join the Wheels and Gears in the circle. He knew if Jo saw them she would truly relegate them to a campfire. Luckily Chris didn't notice the stack grow thinner and Johnny managed to secrete them carefully in the top of his closet. Over at the DeSoto's, Roy and Jo had taken advantage of the time alone and were snuggled together under the covers. Lying close together, arms around each other, they dozed contentedly. All of a sudden Roy's eyes snapped open, and he jerked upright in the bed. "Oh no!" He exclaimed. "Honey, what is it?" asked his wife, surprised out of her nap. "Mother's Day! I forgot my mother's gift!" Desperation began to set in, and then Jo said softly, "Sweetheart, I took care of it, and my mother's gift as well. Relax." Roy's panic-filled blue eyes blinked, and then he said, "You took care of it?" She nodded. "Yes, and I made it easy on us this year. Remember those pictures Johnny took of all of us at Easter? And the ones he took of the kids in their Easter outfits?" At her husband's nod, she continued. I had the one picture of the kids blown up into two 8x10s, and put them into a couple of sterling silver frames, with "Grandma" engraved on them. Both Moms should love them, and we're off the hook." She smiled as Roy snuggled down under the covers again. he reached for his wife. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She cuddled against his chest. "Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it." She reached up and kissed him, then snuggled down and proceeded to fall asleep. Three hours later two exhausted children and one exhausted young paramedic returned to DeSoto's house. The cookies, although of a doubtful shape and weight, smelled wonderful and were packed carefully in a shoebox Gage located in the top of his closet. The shoes, old sneakers he hadn't the heart to throw away, were relegated to the bottom of the closet. The box lined first with newspaper and then with plastic wrap, held most of the two dozen rather puffy and hard cookies. Johnny put the lid on the box, then dug out some gold wrapping paper left over from Christmas. The addition of a bright blue bow brought smiles to the DeSoto kid's faces and they happily pronounced the project "perfect". Full of chips and store-bought cookies, Chris and Jen generously left the remainder of their cookie project for Uncle Johnny. Armed with the brightly-wrapped gift, he escorted both kids to the Rover, ignoring until later the havoc wrought in his living room. By the time they reached home, the children were fast asleep. Roy met Johnny in the driveway and carried Chris inside while his partner followed with Jennifer. After delivering her to JoAnne, Johnny nipped back after the parcel that reposed on the back seat of his car and took it to Roy's den, then he jumped back in the Rover and headed for the florist shop. Traffic decided at that moment to be congested, thanks to an ill-timed traffic accident. Johnny barely got to the florist shop before they closed. He ran in, and nearly bowled over an elderly woman. "The nerve! Young man, don't you have any manners?" "Yes, Ma'am, I am so sorry, but I was trying to pick up flowers for my friend's wife, and......." "That's terrible, young man! Trying to cut in on your friend's wife! You should be ashamed!" Johnny's face turned beet red. "Ma'am, you don't understand. My friend ordered the flowers, and he asked me to pick them up. They are for her for Mother's Day." The elderly woman looked into the earnest young man's handsome face. She felt terrible. "Oh dear, I am so sorry, young man. Can you forgive me?" Johnny flashed her his famous crooked grin, and said, "Already done." "Thank you." She turned and left the flower shop. He shook his head in amusement as he made his way to the counter. The clerk, looking harassed and exhausted, straightened a little at the sight of the tall paramedic and pasted on a weary smile. "May I help you?" Johnny smiled back. "Ah , yes, I'm here to pick up an order for Roy DeSoto, a dozen roses." "You and the rest of the world," she mumbled, thumbing through a stack of order tickets. All had been claimed but two. Two gaily wrapped boxes lay in the display case, their bright yellow ribbons trailing down the sides. The clerk reached for the one on top. Red roses...she looked at the ticket...yep. She pushed the box across the counter and looked at Johnny expectantly. "Ah, he said he has an account here? He said the roses were to go on his account." The girl pulled a binder from beneath the counter and leafed through it until she came to the "D"s. "DeSoto?" "Yep," Johnny replied. The counter clerk filled out the ticket with the billing information and pushed it toward Johnny, "Sign here for receipt." Johnny scribbled his name and pushed the ticket back across the counter. "Thank ya," he saluted the tired woman with the box of roses as he made for the door. With a glance at the clock, she followed him across the room and started to lock up the shop for the evening. As she leaned down to turn the key in the lock, another desperate face appeared outside the door. With a sigh, she opened the door to sell the remaining box of roses. Getting back to his apartment, Johnny breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Getting the roses meant a lot to Roy, and he was glad he could help out. He peeked into the rose box, anxious to see the delicate flowers. "Oh NO! They're the wrong color! Oh man! Now what do I do?" He thought a bit, and then decided to go back to the florist shop. With any luck that other box was still there and the clerk would make the exchange without any hassles. He looked at his watch...five-thirty. The shop closed at five. Well, maybe she was working late? It takes some time to close up, right? He threw the box of engine-red roses into the back seat of the rover and headed back to the florist shop. It was closed. Only a dim glow from the exit sign in the rear of the shop gave off any illumination. Steel security gates insured against forced entry. Even the neon sign in the window was dark. Johnny banged his head on the door in defeat. "Man, I can't believe they gave me the wrong roses." He looked up to see the clerk heading for her car. "Hey! Miss! I need to talk to you!" The dark-haired man ran across the street toward the parking lot. The clerk watched his approach in trepidation, nervously holding her purse as if to use it as a weapon. Johnny skidded to a stop. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. You gave me the wrong color roses. For the DeSoto's? The roses my friend ordered were a reddish purple. The ones you gave me were just plain red." The clerk let out her breath and looked at Johnny with a mixture of relief and regret. "Look, mister, there are no roses left. I sold the last box right after you left. I'm sorry." She turned and got into her car. Johnny threw his hands in the air watching the clerk drive away. "Thanks a lot, lady!" he called after the departing Mazda. "See if I ever shop at your place again!" He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Maybe JoAnne would be happy with red instead of dark red. He pulled the box from the seat and opened it again. In the fading light they glowed a vibrant red...orangish red like the color of the squad. I wonder if I could dye them? Nah! What am I gonna do? He went back to the apartment and pulled out the phone book, leafing madly through the pages until he found the florist section. Twenty calls later, he found one that still had a dozen dark "almost-purple" long-stemmed roses...for one hundred and twenty dollars. "What?!! You've got to be kiddin' me. Who pays that much for a bunch of flowers?" "Sir, that's our standard price and includes a beautiful background of feathery ferns and baby's breath..." "What if you leave out all that extra stuff and just give me the flowers?" Johnny thought fast, he still had the other flowers that Roy paid for. "Sir, we don't do business that..." "Hey, will you take a trade-in? I have some really pretty bright red ones..." "I'm sorry sir. Do you want me to set aside the flowers or not." "No!...Wait...Yes...Maybe. Look, I'll call you back, okay? Can you wait five minutes for an answer?" "I suppose I can do that." "Great!" Johnny hung up and dialed Roy's number frantically, then stopped. "Oh, man, I can't let Roy know about this!" He hung up and nibbled on one fingernail as his mind raced. Gage snapped his fingers. "Hello?" "Kelly! You're home! This is great!" Johnny heaved a sigh of relief. "What do ya want, Gage? What do ya mean this is great?" Chet asked, suspiciously. "Look, Chet, I picked up the roses that Roy ordered, only they weren't the right roses. And I found a place that has them, but they want a hundred and twenty dollars for them. I don't have all the money. Can I borrow some from you?" Kelly thought a bit, and then said, "How much?" "I need fifty dollars." answered Johnny. "Okay, I'll do this for Roy and Jo, but YOU are gonna owe me BIG TIME," Chet stated. Johnny groaned inwardly. "Okay, what do you want?" Chet smirked. His pigeon must really be over a barrel to give in so quickly. "Weeeelll, Gage, this may take some time. I don't want to rush into this. It's not every day I get to pick my..." "Kelly, I don't have a lot of time. Whatever you decide, I'll agree to." Johnny winced, sure there was going to be an expensive price to pay over this, and not just money. "All right, all right, pal. I can see you're in a real bind. How about ...if you do latrine detail every time, I said EVERY TIME I end up with it for say...the next two months?" Johnny sighed. "Just meet me at DeLancie's Rose and Bower in twenty minutes. I have to call them back and let them know I want the flowers." Kelly grinned. Yes. Now what can I do to earn latrine duty every shift for the next two months? "Deal, buddy. Where is this place?" "Tyler Street and St. Francis Place. It's in the traffic circle." "Right." Kelly hung up and ran to the bedroom. He rooted through his sock drawer until he found the striped purple sock with a bundle of bills in the toe. Removing some much handled bills, he stuffed them in his jeans and headed for the door. Johnny picked up the phone and dialed DeLancie's back. "This is John Gage, I called about the purple roses? I'll take them, I'm on my way over now. Yes, I know where you are located. Thank you very much." Grabbing his keys, He thought, "Pally I hope you'll never know the lengths I'll go to for our friendship." Johnny jumped into the Rover and headed for DeLancies'. He pulled out into traffic, and hit the accelerator. As he sped down the street, not paying attention the speedometer, he heard a siren, and saw flashing lights in his rear-view mirror. Johnny pulled over to the curb, and got his registration out of the glove box. He rolled down the window and waited. The officer walked up to the car and asked, "Okay buddy, where's the fire?" He looked in the window, and laughed, "Johnny? Fancy meeting you here!" "Hi, Vince. So you guys really do say that, huh?"" Vince cracked a smile, embarrassed to be caught asking the stereotypical sarcastic question...to a fireman. "Yeah, well...is there a fire?" Johnny rested his head on one hand and said, "There will be. If I don't pick up the flowers Roy bought for his wife for Mother's Day before the shop closes, Roy's gonna explode." "Sounds like you're in a tough spot, John. Hey, where is the florist shop?" Johnny looked at his friend with new hope. "DeLancies', over on..." Vince expelled his breath with a low whistle. "Roy don't shop cheap, does he? I know that place. Look, park your car...truck...what is this thing?" "A Rover" "Okay, park your 'rover' over there and come get in the cruiser. We'll make this a fast trip." "Vince, I can't thank you enough, man. You're savin' my life here." "That's what cops are for, or hadn't you heard." "There have been rumors to that effect," Johnny shot back. He quickly put the rover in gear and pulled into the parking lot Vince had indicated, then loped over to the waiting black-and-white. Vince called in his destination and took off. In very little time they arrived at DeLancies', Johnny with a new appreciation for the officer's driving skills. Chet, his old van a stark contrast to the expensive cars surrounding it, was parked in the small parking lot to the side of the prestigious florist. Johnny exited the police car after assuring Vince that Chet Kelly would give him a ride back to the rover. "Well, well, well, Gage, what did you do now?" Chet asked, his eyes sparkling. "None of your business, Kelly," Johnny snapped. "You know, I figure keeping this quiet is gonna cost you extra, man." "Not now, Kelly, we gotta get in there before they close." Johnny headed for the beveled-glass door. Grasping the gold plated handle, he turned to Chet, and said, "Just keep quiet, and let me do the talking." Chet grinned at him, and shook his head. Following Johnny up to the counter, he stood to one side, and looked around. The clerk, an officious looking man, came up and asked, "How may I help you, Gentlemen?" He smiled at Johnny and looked askance at Chet. "Hi, I'm John Gage, and I called you about the purple roses." "Oh yes, we have them right here." He opened the gilt-edged refrigerator, and pulled out the ornate box. Here they are, sir. That will be One hundred and twenty five dollars, plus tax." Johnny gulped, and looked at the other fireman before pulling cash out of his wallet. He nodded at Chet who withdrew the wad of bills, and handed it to Johnny. Johnny counted it out and gave it to the clerk who handed the box to Johnny, and turned to put the cash in the drawer. In the mirrored wall behind the counter, the clerk kept a suspicious eye on Chester Kelly. Unaware that he was being watched, Chet picked up pieces of expensive brick-a-brac to examine them more closely, then turned his back to the counter. Kelly put down the crystal swan he'd been examining and reached into his pocket. He wondered if there was enough money left to buy it for his mom. How much could cut glass cost, anyway? At Chet's seemingly furtive motion, the counter clerk narrowed his eyes and depressed a hidden button beneath the cash register, summoning the police. He lingered over the transaction, slowly smoothing out the creases in the bills while he waited for the arrival of L.A.'s finest. Johnny drummed his fingers on the glass counter impatiently, anxious to get the receipt and leave the store before something else happened. Chet approached the counter, the crystal swan in one hand. "Hey, how much is this?" he asked the clerk. "There's no price marked on it." The clerk swallowed nervously, eyeing the pocket of Chet's jeans as he wondered whether the man had really shoplifted merchandise as it had appeared earlier. "That's..." his voice broke, "seventy-five dollars and forty-nine cents, sir." Chet looked up amazed. "You've got to be kidding! For a little piece of cut glass like this!" The clerk stiffened, offended. "Sir, that is Danish crystal, and very reasonably priced." "Can we just get outta here?" Johnny asked as Chet returned the small swan to it's mirrored pedestal. Reluctantly the clerk handed Johnny his receipt and breathed a sigh of relief as the law enforcement officer entered the door. "Well, Johnny, what is it this time?...Chet?" "Vince? What are you doing here?" Chet asked. "We received a report of a silent alarm here," answered the officer. Johnny turned around, and glared at the clerk. "Officer? You know these men?" demanded the clerk. Vince answered, "Yes, this is Firefighter/Paramedic John Gage, and this," pointing at Chet, "is Firefighter Chet Kelly. They work out of Station 51, in Carson." Chet walked over to the clerk, and said, "You thought we were going to rob this place? Who do you think you are? I'll tell you what you are, you're a loser. See if we ever come in here again. and we're gonna tell our friends just how we got treated here in your little establishment. Come on, Gage, we're outta here." He stalked toward the door. Johnny glared at man behind the counter, and followed Chet. The clerk, knowing he was in the wrong, ran after Chet, and said, "Sir, if you are still interested in the swan, perhaps we could come to an arrangement." Chet stopped and turned around. "I wouldn't buy my mom's gift here if you were the last place on earth." He stalked out. Vince looked at the clerk, and said, "Buddy, I hope for your sake this place never catches fire." He walked out the door without a backward glance. Johnny stopped a little ways down the sidewalk and turned to his crew mate. "Look, Chet, if you don't tell anybody I got stopped for speeding, I won't tell 'em you were nearly arrested for shoplifting." "You were stopped for speeding?" Chet's eyes sparkled. "Chet!" "Hey, I wasn't arrested for shoplifting!" Chet pointed to his chest in an imitation of Johnny's best gesture of denial. "No," Johnny pointed out, but you would have been if anybody but Vince had walked through that door." Chet started to argue, but Johnny had already walked away, heading for the rusty van. "Look, Gage, I didn't take anything. There was no reason..." "Shut up, Chet, and drive." JoAnn finished wrapping the silver framed photographs with delicately flowered paper and tied twin bows on each. "Which one is which?" Roy asked, intrigued. "It doesn't matter, Roy, they're identical. And the best part is that neither of our mother's can feel like she received more or less than the other." "Knowing your mother, she'll find a way, Roy groused. "Roy!" JoAnne punched her husband in the shoulder, albeit half-heartedly. Her mother could certainly be difficult at times. Hopefully making pictures of the children part of the gift would stifle any criticism. Both grandmothers adored Chris and Jennifer. "Too bad your mom doesn't like Johnny." Roy said. Joanne sighed. "I know, but what I don't understand, is why she doesn't." "Same reason she doesn't like me. We're too common, and not good enough." Jo put her arms around her husband's neck. "Mr. DeSoto?" "Yes, Mrs. DeSoto?" "You're perfect for me, and if my mother doesn't like it, she can go sit on a tack. And as for Johnny, if she'd done her job and given me a brother, I wouldn't have to borrow your partner. But since she didn't, I claim Johnny, and that's just too bad for her." "Hey Gage, what are you gonna do with the other roses?" "I dunno Chet, you want them? That way you can give your mom a nice present for Mother's day." "Yeah, I'll take them, thanks Johnny." "Don't thank me Chet, thank Roy, he's the one who paid for them," Johnny answered. He leaned back in the seat of Chet's van. Johnny looked around the van, and then asked "Chet, why don't you get rid of this old thing, and get something a little more sporty?" Kelly looked over at his passenger. "Cause this one's paid for, and it's a classic, and I just don't wanna. And besides, my mom likes it." He smiled. Johnny grinned. "Then that's all that counts, Chester B. That's all that counts. Oh by the way, if I didn't say thanks before, I'm sayin' it now. Thanks, Pal. I really appreciate it." Chet grinned, and then said, "Don't get all mushy on me, Gage. You're not gonna weasel out of our deal." Johnny glared at him, and said, "I have no intention of weaseling out on our deal. You're something else, Kelly you know that? MAN!" When they reached the Rover, Johnny retrieved the box of roses from Hannigan's and brought it back to the van. He started to hand the box to Chet, then hesitated. Johnny's face split into a wide grin. There was no reason Roy had to know about this. Gage carefully slipped the ribbon aside and opened the box. He set it on the hood of the Rover and reached for the box from DeLancies'. After switching the bouquets, Johnny handed the DeLancies' box to Chet and said, "There ya go, Chester B., one dozen bright red roses." Chet looked at the box thoughtfully and said, "I don't know if I want to give my mom anything from DeLancies'. That guy was gonna accuse me of shoplifting." Johnny smacked his forehead. "Look, Chet, we both know THESE roses aren't from DeLancies', they're from Hannigans." "I know, I know. But it doesn't seem right, fooling my mom into thinking they are from..." "Well, for pete's sake, throw the box away then. I have to have the Hannigans box, Chet, or Roy will know something went wrong." Chet shrugged. "Why didn't you just tell Roy the truth?" "And let him think John Gage screwed up again? Ohhhh no. No way!" "Well, you did screw up, Gage!" "I didn't screw up!" Johnny yelled. A couple of pedestrians turned to look at the indignant dark-haired man who looked ready to beat another man with a florist box. "I didn't screw up," Johnny repeated in a lower tone. "Did you check the box before you left the shop?" "Well, no, I..." "Then you screwed up," Chet told him, a smug expression on his face. Gage thrust the DeLancies' box into the van and strode back to the Rover. He swept the other box of roses off the hood in an angry motion and placed them in the passenger's seat, then roared off down the street. A moment later he remembered to slow down. Vince might not be so understanding twice. Getting back to his place, Johnny placed the roses in the fridge, and then cleaned up the kitchen, and put the living room back in order. He picked up the phone, and dialed Roy's number. "Hello?" "Hey Pally, just wanted to let you know I got the roses, and they are really pretty." "Hey, that's great Johnny. Thanks so much, Jo will love them. I got the other part of the gift, and it's wrapped, and ready to go. Thanks so much for picking them up for me. I'll see you tomorrow." "Anytime Pally, anytime." Johnny hung up the phone, smiling. Tomorrow was going to be a great day. Johnny adjusted his tie and slipped on his sport coat. He could discard the trimmings later and roll up his sleeves, but for Jo, he wanted to at least look good when he arrived. Maybe Jo's mom might even be civil if she approved of his appearance. Civil would be good. Nice was just too much to ask. With a final swipe at his hair, Johnny grabbed the chocolates and the Hannigan's box and headed out the door. He got wolf whistles from some of the single ladies, and a few married ones lounging on their balconies, but waved acknowledgement with a lop-sided grin. They were old friends and the teasing good-natured. At Roy's house, Harriet DeSoto's car sat prominently in the driveway behind Roy's. That meant that Jo's mom had already arrived, since they would have picked her up at LAX. There's no way Mrs. Tightwad would take a taxi when she could harass Roy for a good forty-five minutes about his driving. Johnny got out of the Rover and went up the stairs to the porch. He knocked on the door, and was rewarded with a hug from Jennifer when the door opened. "Uncle Johnny! You look so handsome!" "Thanks, Sweetheart, you look pretty." Jenny spun around and smiled at her favorite 'uncle'. Roy came in and shook his partner's hand. "Here's the flowers, Roy." "Thanks, partner." He peeked beneath the lid. "Oh, they found some purple roses after all." "Huh?" "Johnny, you're a lifesaver." Roy started to head into the kitchen with the flowers when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder. "Say that again, partner," Johnny said urgently. "I said you're a lifesaver," Roy repeated, mystified. Gage ran one hand over his face. "No, before that, about the roses being purple. You didn't expect purple ones?" Roy faced his friend, confused. "No, the florist called yesterday morning and said all they had were regular red ones. I told her that would have to do. I didn't have time to go all over L.A. looking for..." Johnny waved him to silence. "You mean to tell me you KNEW they didn't have the purple ones and you didn't say anything?" Roy looked a little bit ashamed. "We were kind of busy. The florist called just after you picked up the kids and..." Johnny slapped his forehead in frustration. "Roy! You knew I would be picking up the wrong roses?" Johnny's voice level raised a whole octave as he pointed at Roy accusingly. "I knew," Roy admitted, "but since they found the right ones, everything turned out okay. What's your problem?" By this time they had an audience. JoAnne looked at her roses in bewilderment while Mrs. Hanson gazed at the duo with contempt. "Roy, they DIDN'T have the right roses. They gave me the bright red ones. I THOUGHT they made a mistake. I drove back to Hannigan's to try and exchange them, but they were closed!" Roy stared open-mouthed. "So where did these come from?" Johnny crossed his arms and glared at Roy. "DeLancies'." "DeLancies'!" Roy exploded, "that's the most expensive place in town!" "They were also the only place in town that had purple roses at five-thirty on Saturday afternoon!" Johnny yelled back. Harriet DeSoto came out into the kitchen to hear the partners yelling at each other. "My goodness! What are you two mad about?" Hester Hanson looked at her and said, "As usual, Roy has allowed that hippy to get him into a mess, and my poor JoAnne has to bear the brunt of it." Jo looked at her mother, and said, " Mother, not now, please." Harriet smiled at her daughter in law. "Don't worry, honey, it will be all right. Roy? Johnny? What are you yelling about?" Hester stomped off in to the living room. Roy gave her a dirty look, and then answered his mother. "Mom I forgot to tell Johnny the florists couldn't get the right color roses for Jo, and he thought they had made a mistake, so he went to DeLancies' and got the right color." "That was a wonderful thing to do, John." She smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek. Johnny blushed, and then grinned. "But Mom, he went to DeLancies'." "Oh, I see, and your problem is...?" Roy's mouth opened, and then closed. "Your partner thinks enough of you and your wife to go the extra mile, and you should be saying thank you." Roy looked at Johnny and said, "Thanks, Partner, I'm sorry, that was really nice." Jo standing there, with tears in her eyes, gave first Roy and then Johnny a hug. "Oh Roy, I love them! The color is perfect. And Johnny, thank you so much for picking them up. They're beautiful." She walked over and gave her mother in law a hug. "Thanks, Mom" she whispered. "You're welcome, hon." They looked at the partners, and Harriet said, "One of the best days in my life was when Roy came home in the fourth grade, and said, 'Mom, there's this really nice girl in my class, and she sits behind me, and I think she likes me.' You've made him very happy, Jo, and I'm proud to call you daughter. My son knows how to pick partners, in life, and at work." Johnny felt a tug on his jacket. "Uncle Johnny?" Chris DeSoto looked up at Gage with his father's serious blue eyes. "Are you and Daddy done bein' mad at each other?" Johnny hunkered down and stared into the anxious face. "Yeah, Little Pally, we are. It was a silly argument wasn't it? What's important is that your mom got some real pretty roses for Mother's Day. Didja give her the cookies yet?" Christopher shook his head. "Well when are you gonna do that? "Dad says 'after dinner' seein' as how it's food," Chris replied. "Sometimes your dad is a pretty smart man," Johnny said, ruffling Chris' blond locks. Jenny came up and put her arms around Johnny's neck. "Uncle Johnny, you mustn't yell at my daddy or I'll have to get angry at you, okay, sweetheart?" Johnny kept a straight face with difficulty, seeing Jo as much in Jennifer as Christopher mirrored Roy. Those two must have been holy terrors as kids. "Okay, darlin', I promise not to yell at your daddy, unless it's an emergency. Will that do?" "You mean like at work when you're savin' lives?" "Yep," Johnny replied. "Sometimes things get loud and we have to yell." Jenny thought a minute and smiled. "Then that's fine. When you're at work, I guess sometimes yellin' is 'portant." She gave Johnny a hug and followed Chris to Roy's den for their own contribution to Mother's Day. Harriet walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to JoAnne's mother. "Hester, Happy Mother's Day. How have you been?" "I'd be a lot better if your son and my daughter wouldn't spend all of their holidays with that John Gage! How can you stand him? He's a terrible influence on Roy, and I'm sure he's just as bad an influence on the children as well. And that hair! I don't think he's had a haircut since Hector was a pup! He's always here, doesn't he have a family of his own to mooch off of?" Harriet took a deep breath. "Johnny has been a good friend to both Roy and Joanne. He's helped out with the children, and he's helped Jo when Roy has been injured and in the hospital, and he organized that painting party last year when Roy fell off the ladder and broke his arm. He's been awfully good to me too, and has helped Roy with some of the chores around my home. I'm glad Roy and Jo have him for a friend." Hester snorted. "What they need is a friend who can help Roy get promoted, someone who can make him see reason. I've always said if he can be a paramedic, he can be a doctor and make some real money." Feeling more than a little angry, Johnny listened from the kitchen. Maybe a beer will help me get through this, he thought. As he opened the fridge to help himself to something with more kick than soda pop, he felt a soft wrinkled hand settle on his arm. "Don't worry about her," Harriet told him. "She's just an old poop. Oh, and I'll take a cold one too, if you're buying." Johnny winked at Roy's mom. "I'm always ready to buy drinks for a beautiful lady." He reached into the fridge grabbed two bottles and twisted off the caps. Raising the amber bottle in salute, he tilted it back for a long swallow. "Just as I suspected!" A nasty voice behind John Gage nearly caused him to choke. "Not only a neer-do-well and a moocher, but a lush!" Nose in the air, having had her say, Hester sailed back into the living room, making sure to claim Roy's recliner for the day. "Old poop," Harriet muttered. Johnny, recovering from one surprising outburst, started laughing until tears ran down his face. In the midst of this Jo walked into the kitchen and said brightly, "Shall we have lunch?" Johnny set his beer on the cupboard and reached for the glasses of milk Roy placed on the counter. From the looks of the table, his partner had two pint-sized helpers in the kitchen. His hypothesis was confirmed when Chris boasted, "We helped Daddy with dinner, Uncle Johnny." "Well, it looks like you did a fine job, buddy," Johnny complemented. As Chris glowed with the praise, the five adults jockeyed for position around the table. Roy and JoAnne took their traditional places at the head and foot of the table, although Hester made an unsuccessful attempt at supplanting her son-in-law. In a blocking movement, John Gage stepped in front of her just as she started to reach for the chair Roy usually occupied, giving his partner the opportunity to assume his rightful place. Johnny then found himself between Hester and Christopher. "Ah well, no good deed goes unpunished," he muttered. Hester Hanson shot him a dirty look. Johnny countered with a sunny grin. The opening volleys were fired. "Grandma DeSoto, we fixed mommy brekfus in bed," Jenny informed Roy's mother. "You did!" Harriet exclaimed. "My, what good helpers. What did you fix?" "We made eggs and toast and oatmeal and orange juice and Pop-Tarts," Jenny informed her grandmothers and Johnny. "Pop-Tarts?" Johnny queried Roy. "We hadda make Pop-Tarts 'cause Jenny burned the oatmeal." "Yeah, well you didn't get the eggs done and they ran all over mommy's plate," his sister accused. "That's because I didn't want to burn it like you did the oatmeal AND the toast." "Well, you spilled the orange juice all over." "But I didn't ruin breakfast!" Chris said smugly. "Hey, you guys, cut it out," Johnny said sternly, wondering why Roy didn't step in. Oh yeah, Hester likes to accuse him of being too gruff with the kids. Well, I don't have anything to lose. "Okay, Uncle Johnny," Both kids chorused. Hester cleared her throat, and glared at him. "Mr. Gage, just who do you think you are to discipline MY grandchildren in front of their parents?" Chris and Jenny glared at each other, and began kicking each other under the table. Jenny aimed another kick for her brother's shin, and instead connected with her Uncle Johnny. John Gage, in the middle of taking a sip of milk, yelped in painful surprise. "OW!" Milk sprayed everywhere, Johnny, his face screwed up in agony, tried to set the glass down but ended up overturning it. Most of the white liquid wound up in Hester's lap. "You idiot!" Hester Henson screamed. "Mother, that's enough. I want you to apologize to Johnny right now. You've been mean to him all day." "I most certainly have not!" Hester answered. Johnny's eyes rolled back in his head, he was in so much pain. Roy got up, grabbed some ice from the freezer, and put it in a baggie. Wrapping it in a towel, he placed it in Johnny's lap. Hester, still sputtering gaped in surprise when Harriet handed her a dishtowel. "Here, make yourself useful, and wipe up the milk." Jo went to the closet where Roy kept an extra medical bag. She brought it to her husband, who got the stethoscope and blood pressure cuff out and proceeded to take Johnny's vital signs. Chris and Jenny, feeling very guilty, came over to stand next to Johnny's chair. "Uncle Johnny? We're sorry, we didn't mean to hurt you." "You don't have to apologize to him, he's nothing," stated Hester. Roy stood up and turned toward his mother in law, his face a mask of anger, his blue eyes hard as slate. "Hester, I've had it with you and your nasty treatment of my friend. Johnny is not just any guest, he's a member of this family. He's more than earned that right, with his support and love for Jo and the kids. If you can't keep a civil tongue in your head, then I suggest you keep your mouth shut. I won't have guests in my home misused by you or anyone else." Hester opened her mouth to tell him to shut up, but was interrupted by her daughter. "Mother! Shut up!" "Joanne Hanson!" "It's Joanne DeSoto, mother, and I mean it, shut up, or I will pack your bags and drive you to the airport myself." Jennifer, blubbering, tried to hug Johnny for comfort but was dragged away by her brother. "Jenny, you dummy, you hurt Uncle Johnny, do you think he wants you hangin' on him now?" "B-but I d-didn't mean to," Jenny sobbed. I told ya those tap shoes hurt, ya poopyhead!" The conversation caught Roy's attention at last. "Christopher DeSoto, find a corner, I'll deal with you in a few minutes. Jennifer, stop that blubbering. Johnny knows it was an accident. Go take those shoes off and don't wear them outside the dancing school again." Roy shuddered in sympathy at the sight of the hard, patent leather shoes with the pointed toes. Johnny, beginning to recover, took deep cleansing breaths and opened his eyes. He stared in dismay at the large wet stain in his lap resulting from a combination of half a glass of milk and an icepack that didn't quite seal. Quick to understand the problem, Jo made a suggestion. "Johnny, the shorts and T-shirt you wore last week are in the laundry room folded up on top of the dryer. Johnny nodded and rose painfully to make his way toward some dry clothes and privacy to tend his injuries. "JoAnne, are you doing that man's laundry too? How far is that husband of yours going to go in letting his no-good friends take advantage of..." "Mother, Johnny left those clothes here because they got dirty while he was fixing our deck. He showered and changed and I volunteered to wash his clothes for him. It was the least..." "JoAnne," Roy interrupted, "you don't have to explain what you do in your own house to your mother or anybody else." His voice became deadly quiet. Everyone looked in surprise and the room fell silent. "Now," Roy continued, "Chris, if you think you can behave yourself, then you and your sister can bring the packages in from the den." "Okay, Dad. Come on Jenny, I'm sorry I called you that name." The two children left the room, but their voices could still be heard. "Chris, why is Grandma Hanson so mean to Daddy and Uncle Johnny? Grandma DeSoto isn't mean, she loves them both." "I guess Grandma Hanson doesn't really know how great Daddy and Uncle Johnny are, and how they take care of each other, and us. My teacher calls it dyslextive hearing." Roy looked at Joanne questioning, and she whispered, "Selective hearing." Roy nodded. Hester sat looking in her lap, her mouth drawn in a tight line. Harriet, across the table from her, said quietly, "And a little child shall lead them." She looked at her adult children, and with a smile on her face, said, Would you like to pass the potatoes?" Emerging from the laundry room in less pain and a hundred percent more comfortable, Johnny began to see the humorous side of the dinner mishaps. A smile twitched at his lips as he intercepted Chris and Jenny on their way to the kitchen. "Wait, guys," Johnny whispered. The two blond urchins halted, sure they were in more trouble. Johnny got down on one knee to look the children in the eye. "Jenny, sweetie, I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I know you're sorry. I forgive you, okay?" He received a solemn nod. Johnny kissed her on the forehead and turned to Chris. "Chris," he sighed and pulled him into a hug. "Behave! okay?" Grinning, Chris hugged back, sure all was right again. Bearing brightly wrapped gifts, the trio returned to the table and when the meal ended without further incident, anxiously awaited the verdict on their presents. The pile of gifts sat in the center of the table. Johnny and Roy cleared the table, and Roy loaded the dishwasher while Johnny put the food in the fridge. Years of kitchen duty at the station had trained them well and they made light work of the job. That done, they came back into the dining room, and sat down. Jo was handed the box of cookies that they had made while at Johnny's. She took the ribbon off, and lifted the lid. The odor of baked cookies wafted its way out of the box, and hung in the air. "Did you guys make these yourselves?" "Yes, with Uncle Johnny's help," answered Chris. "Well they certainly look delicious," Joanne commented. "Daddy, what's in the little box?" asked Jenny. "Well, why don't you get your mom to open it and we'll all see?" grinned her father. Jo shot Roy a questioning glance, tugged at the small delicate ribbon that secured the gold foil-covered box and opened the lid. She caught her breath at the beauty of the heart pendant. With a look in her eyes that rivaled the diamond itself for brilliance, she flashed her husband a radiant smile that left him in no doubt of his success this year. "Ohhhh, Roooy, it's beautiful!" Everyone leaned in to see the treasure as the necklace sparkled and glinted, catching the kitchen light, its diamond seeming to wink at them. For once, Hester had nothing to say. "Well done, Pally," Johnny said under his breath. Roy heard, but continued staring at his one-and-only. Harriet patted her son on the shoulder in approval. Impatient to get things moving again, Christopher picked up one of the identical flat boxes remaining on the table and looked at his father. "Who is this for?" Roy cleared his throat of the lump that formed when he watched Jo open his gift and replied, "That is for Grandma Hanson, and the other is for Grandma DeSoto." Chris nodded and distributed the gifts, feeling very important. Both grandmothers opened their gifts at the same time, tugging the ribbons off, and placing them on the table. Lifting the lids off the boxes, they both gasped at the sterling silver picture frames with the smiling faces of their grandchildren looking at them. "This is one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever gotten," Hester said, looking at her daughter. Harriet smiled at her son, gave him a hug, and then reached for Johnny. "Can't forget the photographer, "she said, giving him a big hug. Johnny smiled at her. Hester looked at Johnny with surprise. She assumed the picture had been taken by a professional, the quality was that good. "Y-you took this picture?" Johnny nodded. "Yes, ma'am I did." He smiled at her, feeling more charitable and just a little bit vindicated. "Mother, Johnny takes most of our family photos. "He's a very good photographer," Harriet asserted, patting Johnny's hand. "Then, young man, please tell me why you're wasting your time in the fire department, when you could have a respectable business as a photographer?" Johnny looked at his partner, and sighed." "Roy and I are making a difference in what we do as firefighter/paramedics. This," waving a hand at the pictures, "is for fun and relaxation. I like taking pictures, and I know I'm good at it, but if I had to do it to earn a living, it would take all the fun out of it. Being a paramedic is part of who I am, and I am good at that too. So is Roy, Mrs. Hanson. You may not like us, or what we do, but we do make a difference in peoples' lives, and we're proud of that." Joanne leaned over and kissed her husband. "I'm proud of what Roy does too, Mother," she said softly. "Hmmmph," Hester snorted. "All that pride doesn't seem to pay very well." She looked around the small kitchen for emphasis. "There are more things in the world than money, Mother Hanson," Roy replied angrily, not willing to let the statement stand. "There is self-respect and satisfaction in a job well done. There...there is the joy in saving lives that might have been lost if you hadn't been there. And there's the close fellowship of your brother firefighters, not to mention the support of your best friend. Money can't buy any of that." "Hmmph," Hester said again, crossing her arms in a gesture that said she wasn't buying it. Johnny had had enough. He stood and addressed his partner, "Buy you a beer, Pally?" Roy nodded, knowing that Johnny's anger was very close to the surface right now and starting to strain his self-control. The two men retrieved their beverages and adjourned to the back deck. Somehow, Jo thought, the bright beautiful sunny day just got a little dimmer. Hester left the table and made her way to the living room, leaving the kitchen and its mess to her daughter and son-in-law's mother. Harriet looked at the necklace now winking brightly from around Joanne's neck. "Honey, don't feel bad, we've had a wonderful day, a terrific dinner, and got some beautiful gifts. That necklace is just one of the tokens of how much my son loves you. And Roy's right, money isn't everything. I've known families that have had money up the kazoo, but they don't have what counts, love and respect for each other. And I've known poor families with the same problem. You and my son are rich in ways other people can only dream of." Joanne smiled at her mom in law, and said, "I know, I feel like the richest woman in the world." Out on the front porch, the partners sat and sipped their beer in silence. "Man, what is with her, why is she so hateful?" "Jo says it's because she grew up in a well-to-do family and her folks thought she married beneath her. She put up with their criticism for years about how she chose the wrong man." Johnny snorted. "You'd think since she knows how it feels, she wouldn't do the same stuff to you." "Yeah, well, I guess she bought into her family's point of view and didn't want her daughter to make the 'same mistake'." Johnny shook his head again at the misery some people make for themselves. "Man, no wonder Jo's dad split. I couldn't put up with that either." From her place on the sofa, Hester listened unashamedly to the conversation taking place on the deck. With bitter tears running down her cheeks, she arose and made her way into Roy's den. After a brief hesitation, she phoned the airport, changed her reservation and called for a taxi. It took only a moment for Hester Hanson to throw everything back into her suitcase. She held the silver-framed picture in her hands, tears falling on the glass, before tucking it carefully into the case and closing the lid. Snapping the locks with a deliberate motion Hester set the suitcase on the floor, all being in readiness for her departure. "Mother? What are you doing?" Jo entered the guest room and took a seat on the double bed. She traced the pattern in the white chenille bedspread with one finger while she awaited an answer. Hester removed a daintily embroidered handkerchief from her purse and dabbed at tear-stained cheeks. "I don't believe I can stay, JoAnne. I...I seem to have made a fool of myself." Her mother dissolved into tears. Jo pulled the handkerchief from her mother's hand and used it to wipe the tears from the wrinkled cheeks. "You know," she said, spreading the handkerchief flat on one knee, "I think I bought this for you for Mother's Day one year." "Yes," Hester replied, "you were about seven." "I was so happy to be able to get it, and you smiled so big when you opened the box." "We didn't have a lot when you were younger, JoAnne, and I know you went without many of the material things other young girls had. When your father left, it was very difficult, and my family said that I had made my bed, now I had to sleep in it." She looked at her daughter. "All I wanted for you was to be happy." "Mother, I AM happy. Roy and I have a wonderful marriage, we have given you and Mom Harriet two beautiful grandkids, and we have a nice life together. Roy loves what he does, Mom, and as long as he is happy, I am happy. You wanted me to marry well, Mom, and I did. I married very well." She smiled. "But what about his partner? It seems to me he is always here, and has just wormed his way into your family." "Johnny is part of this family, Mother, because we WANT him to be. I used to worry about Roy when he was working, whether he'd come home after his shift, or would I get a call from the hospital saying he's been gravely injured. Since Johnny has been his partner, I haven't worried as much. Johnny watches Roy's back, and in a lot of cases, gets injured himself keeping my husband safe. You didn't give me a brother, but I've got one, and Johnny's welcome here anytime, any day." Hester shrugged and gave JoAnne a watery smile. "Well, I suspect you won't change your mind," she told her daughter, "and I think I'm better off at Eileen's house for the rest of the week. Since her husband took off and left her alone with the kids, she's been appreciative of the odd bit of help." JoAnne gazed thoughtfully at her mother, sure that the woman had succeeded with her sister where she had failed so miserably with JoAnne...breaking up a marriage she deemed unsuitable. Maybe it would be best if her mother left, and just maybe she'd learned a thing or two. "Call us when you get there, Mom," Jo told her, "and give our best to Eileen and the kids." Hester nodded and straightened, her lips taking on a bitter set once again. "I believe I hear my taxi," she said, reaching down for the handle of her suitcase. Harriet and the children watched in surprise as Hester made her way through the house to the kitchen door. Without bothering to say goodbye, Jo's mother strode purposefully out to the cab and got in. Jo stood on the porch waving, her face pensive. Harriet DeSoto came over and put her arms around her daughter-in-law. "What happened, dear?" "I...I'm not really sure," Jo admitted, "but maybe something good." Roy left his spot on the deck and approached his wife and mother. He put his arms around them both. "You okay, hon? I'm sorry your mom left; it's my fault." "No Roy it's not your fault. She left because she couldn't face the truth, you and I are happy, and for some reason, she just can't admit that. I feel sorry for her, but I am not going to let her destroy what we have." Jo kissed his cheek. Johnny came in and saw the kiss. "Hey! I saw that!" Harriet laughed, as both Roy and Joanne put their left hands up and pointed to their wedding bands. "See this, Junior? This says I can kiss my wife anytime I want." Johnny laughed. Jennifer nodded solemnly. "If you get one of those you can do that too, Uncle Johnny." Johnny turned bright red as the other adults dissolved into laughter. Jennifer, pleased with herself for unwittingly providing so much amusement, assumed a self-satisfied expression. Finally, chuckling to himself, Johnny knelt beside Jennifer. "Honey," he said, "I don't know anybody I want to do that with right now. Maybe I'll just have to wait until you grow up." As Roy and JoAnne looked on indulgently, Chris got a disgusted expression on his seven-year-old face. "Yuck! Girls! Who needs 'em when there's neat stuff like baseball? Right, Uncle Johnny?" he asked hopefully. "Hey, buddy, don't knock it until you've tried it. On second thought, I think you can wait a few years for that. Meanwhile, just take it from me, if it wasn't for girls, there wouldn't BE a Mother's Day." Johnny gave Roy and Jo a crooked grin before slapping Chris on the shoulders. "Now let's see about some baseball." "What about the cookies we made Mommy? We didn't get to have any," said Jenny.  "I'll tell you what, I'll make some lemonade, and we'll have cookies and lemonade out side," said Jo. "I'll help." Harriet volunteered. Johnny scanned the living room. "Jo? What happened to the box of candy I brought over? It was your Mother's Day gift from me." Joanne looked around for the errant box of candy, and said, "I don't know, Johnny, but it will turn up somewhere. It was sweet of you to remember me. Thanks." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then whispered in his ear, "Little Brother." Johnny grinned. Chris walked into the living room carrying his baseball and mitt. He stopped short. "Yuck! More kissing! Are we gonna play baseball or what?" Johnny winked at him, thinking Someday, kiddo, you won't object to the kissing part so much. In the taxi, on the way to the airport, Hester pulled the box of chocolates out of her large purse, and opened the lid. "Yum, mints, I love them." ~THE END~ Happy Mother's Day to all from Min and Nexxie. . return to main menu