Johnny smiled encouraged by the chance to finally communicate with her. "Monica, its Johnny." Monica turned slightly to the direction of his voice. She was struggling to focus her eyes. "Johnny?" she replied. "Yes it's Johnny. You've been asleep for a long time." She struggled to swallow.                                                                                           "Monica" said Dr. Brackett "You're throat is going to be sore for a little while. We just removed you from a respirator this morning." "Where's Jim?" Dr. Brackett and Johnny looked at each other. She was more confused than they had thought. "Where's Jim?" she asked again almost pleading. "Monica I want to check you out" said Dr. Bracket trying to change the subject. He took out his penlight to check her pupils. Then checked her reflexes. "Monica, can you see clearly?" he asked. "No," she responded. "Where is Jim?" Her voice had a tinge of panic.   It became obvious that she was in a lot of physical pain. Dr. Brackett called the nurse for pain medication. As she drifted back into unconsciousness she continued to call out Jim's name. When she was asleep, Dr. Brackett turned to Johnny who looked stricken. "She's going to sleep for a while Johnny, let's go get some coffee. Johnny relented only because he was sure the medication would keep her asleep for hours. He wondered what they would say if she asked for Jim the next time she woke up. Dr. Brackett set a cup of black coffee in front of Johnny who was already seated at the table in the staff lounge. Johnny sat with his head in his hands trying to make sense of what had just taken place in the ICU.  He had been mentally preparing himself for several different scenarios that might take place when Monica regained consciousness. He had even considered the fact that she might not wake up at all. But in all his wonderings he had never considered the possibility that Monica would not remember her husband's death six years earlier. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny remembered the night that it happened He had stopped in the Street house to bring Jim tickets to a baseball game. A friend had given Johnny the tickets, but he was going to be on duty and couldn't go. He had asked Monica if Jim might be interested. Jim was going to go with one of his partners in the police department. Jim worked in the S.W. A. T. unit. He had been there about 2 years. He met Monica at St. Francis Hospital where she worked as a nurse. She was taking care of Lt Harrelson the leader of Jim's squad who had been injured during a hostage stand off. Jim got to know her and asked her out. Then one date led to another and they were married a year and a half later, just after Monica had entered the fire academy. Johnny and Monica were sitting in the living room talking. Jim was late coming home from his shift, but that was not unusual. He had been putting in a lot of over time on a special investigation in which the SWAT team was asked to assist. He hadn't told Monica what it was about. They were dealing with some very powerful drug dealers. It would be dangerous for her to have any knowledge of the case. They had been talking for about a half hour when the doorbell rang. When Monica opened the door Lt Harrelson was standing there. She knew instantly by the look on his face, why he was there. "Where is he?" she asked almost matter of factly, as if she had rehearsed the scene over and over again and could now say the lines without losing control of her emotions. "He's at Rampart emergency," said the Lt, feeling guilty he had to break the news, guilty that it was one of the men in his charge.  Monica grabbed her coat and her bag and followed Lt Harrelson to the waiting police car. Johnny followed in the Rover. The throng of reporters hovering at the doors slowed Johnny's entrance into the ER. The police commissioner had just arrived. He would probably hold a news conference at some point Johnny thought.  As Johnny looked down the hall he saw Dr. Brackett escorting Monica into one of the treatment rooms. She looked in his direction for moment. Then she walked through the door. Dixie saw Johnny and approached him in the hall. "Dix, what's going on? How is he?" Dixie looked at John with an expression he knew too well. The expression that said he's gone. She couldn't bring herself to say the words. Johnny stood there stunned. How could something like this happen? They were about to celebrate their second wedding anniversary. Jim was the same age as Johnny. He was too young to die and Monica was too young to be a widow. Dixie turned her attention to the men from Jim's unit. She was concerned that a reporter or two might find a way into the hospital. She was not going to let these men be harassed at a time like this.  "I think you all might be more comfortable in the lounge. Why don't you come with me?" Dixie led them to the staff lounge. They could have more privacy there. The other people in the waiting room were whispering about the policeman who had been shot. Johnny had stood outside the treatment room waiting. After a long time the door opened and Monica and Dr. Brackett emerged. He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't know what to do. He remembered how inadequate he had felt when he spoke to his friend Drew Burke's wife after he died.  He just reached out and gave her a hug. For a second he felt her collapse in his arms. Then just as quickly he felt her stiffen and pull back. She gave Johnny a soft smile and followed Dr. Brackett to the lounge. Dixie had watched the exchange and she and Johnny's eyes met as Monica walked away. Each had tears in their eyes. The viewing was a huge event. Police came from all over. It lasted several hours, and Monica personally spoke to every person who came to pay their respects to her husband. Johnny drove her home that night. She has to be exhausted he thought. He would try to get her to eat something when they got back to her house. Johnny was sleeping on her couch that night. The men at Station 51 had decided she shouldn't be alone and she hadn't rejected the idea of having someone else in the house when Johnny offered. Johnny turned on some lights as Monica sat down on the couch. "I'm going to make you some tea and something to eat. I'll be right back," he said. When Johnny came back into the living room with a tray he found Monica asleep on the couch. In her hand she was clutching a picture of Jim she kept on the coffee table. The next morning at the funeral home the police commissioner presented Monica with a medal of valor for Jim's service. Monica thanked him, then approached the casket were Jim lie. She took the medal and pinned it onto Jim's uniform. "You earned this. It belongs to you" Then she bent over and kissed him. Those in the room stood stunned and teary eyed. It was a beautiful display of love and affection. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny came back to the present and looked again at the coffee cup in front of him. "Do you think it's only temporary? Do you think she'll remember Jim is gone?" "I don't know for sure Johnny. Head injuries are very unpredictable. It's hard to say." "You mean she might have to go through that all over again? I still don't know how she did it the first time? "Now Johnny, don't get ahead of yourself. She has been unconscious for several weeks. It's going to take some time. There is every reason to believe she will completely regain her memory." Johnny knew Dr. Brackett was right. He couldn't let himself go off the handle like that. Monica was going to need everyone more than she ever had. He had to keep himself together. Dr. Brackett went back to the E.R. and Johnny went for a walk outside to clear his thoughts. E!E!E!E!E! The men of Station 51 were in the kitchen.  Chet was beginning to make dinner. The phone rang. "Captain Stanley, Station 51" "Captain Stanley, this is Dr. Brackett. Could I please speak to Roy?" "Sure Dr. Brackett, just a minute. Roy, its Dr. Brackett." Roy wasn't overly concerned. Over the last few weeks he had received several calls from Dr. Brackett, or Dixie, or Johnny letting everyone know how Monica was doing. The men of station 51 were back on their usual schedule. Johnny had been given a leave initially because he had witnessed the accident his partner was involved in. The department always recommended some time off duty and some counseling under difficult circumstances such as this. Then Father Mike, who knew exactly what was going on with Johnny, had pulled some strings at headquarters and had Johnny's leave extended. "Yes Dr. Brackett, this is Roy." "Roy I wanted to let you know Monica regained consciousness a little while ago. She is off the respirator too." "Well, that's great Dr. Brackett," Roy said with a smile on his face. He relayed the information to the men sitting at the table. Dr. Brackett could hear the cheers on the other end. "Roy, Johnny and I were with her and we spoke to her." His voice sounded serious. "It seems that her memory isn't what it should be. " "What exactly does that mean?" asked Roy. "Well, she kept asking for Jim." "Jim!" Roy exclaimed a little louder than he had meant. The men at the table all became hushed. "She didn't seem to remember that Jim was dead," Dr. Brackett paused to let the news sink in. "What do you think that means?" asked Roy. "I want to emphasize that this could be only temporary. We need to remember she had a very serious head injury and this is the first time she was conscious in weeks." "Did you tell her anything?" asked Roy. "No, she began to experience a lot of pain at the same time. We medicated her and she will probably sleep for the next few hours.  Roy, Johnny has been kind of upset. The next time you're here, you might want to talk to him" "Sure Dr. Brackett, thank you for the update. Bye." Roy hung up the phone and hesitated for a moment trying to collect his thoughts. He couldn't imagine what Johnny was thinking right now. Part of the reason he had never explored his feelings for her had been because of his belief she still loved Jim. Now that he had finally allowed himself to recognize his true feelings for her, Jim was back again. "Roy, what's going on?" asked Captain Stanley. Everyone was getting a little uneasy with the prolonged silence after the phone call. "Well, Dr. Brackett said that Monica was asking for Jim when she was awake. They never said anything to her because she started having a lot of pain. They medicated her and she'll be asleep for a while." "Jim?" said Chet. "You mean she doesn't remember?" "Well, Dr. Brackett said it could all be temporary. We're not going to know for a while," said Roy. "We're going to have to hope for the best," said Captain Stanley trying to be positive. Station 51, Station 49. Bomb threat 418 Hazelton Drive. Four-one-eight Hazelton. Cross street Sussex. Time out 17:39. Police are on the scene. "Station 51 KMG 365" Station 51 arrived at the scene. LAPD officer Vince Howard approached Captain Stanley. "What have you got Vince?" asked Captain Stanley. "There's a man in the house with two hostages. He says he has a bomb and is threatening to set it off. The SWAT team is here. We wanted the fire department on hand in case anything happens. We sent Engine 49 and Squad 49 around front. We need you in the alley behind the house." "OK Vince," said Captain Stanley. "Kelly lay a line. Mike lets pull the Engine into the alley, out of the way." E!E!E!E!E! Captain Stanley saw the SWAT team crouched behind the house. He recognized Lt. Harrelson speaking to his team. The Lt had been to the hospital several times to check on Monica in the past few weeks. They had spoken to each other on the phone as well. They had discussed their frustration over the absurd release of the prisoner who went on to kill a man and seriously injure Monica.  It seemed ironic that they would be here together on the same day that Monica was unable to remember that Jim had died. He made a mental note to speak to the Lt. if possible when this was over. The men in the SWAT team positioned themselves as they had been instructed. Marco and Mike set up a ladder so two of them could get a vantage point from a garage roof. They waited for what seemed like hours while Lt. Harrelson tried to negotiate with the man inside. Suddenly there was the sound of shots being fired from the house. The men of Station 51, who were standing by waiting, had to duck to avoid some near misses. Lt Harrelson made one final plea for the suspect to surrender. The gunman refused then there was a loud explosion. The SWAT team moved into the house quickly. A moment later one of the team came out to beckon the fireman and paramedics. Roy and Dwyer attended the gunman, while squad 49 saw to the second victim. The second hostage was unharmed but badly shaken. Vince Howard stayed with her by the squad. The gunman was in critical condition. Roy rode in ambulance with him. The patient appeared to have internal injuries and his pressure was dropping fast. As they pulled up to the hospital, a trauma team headed by Dr.Brackett met them. After Roy had turned their patient over he went to the nurse's desk to look for Dixie. She was there working on patient charts. "Dix," Roy said gently so not to startle her. "Hi Roy, I'm glad you're here." Dixie had a look of concern on her face. "Kell said he spoke to you earlier." "Yea, where's Johnny? Is he upstairs with Monica?" "No," said Dixie. "Kell sent him to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I don't think he had eaten anything all day." "Can I go up to see her?" Roy asked. "Sure, she was medicated a few hours ago she might be waking up soon." Roy let Dwyer know where he would be; he then got on the elevator to go to ICU. He was torn between wanting to see Monica awake again, and worrying what he would say if she were. When he walked into her room in ICU he stopped short. She was awake and she was crying. "Hey honey, what's wrong?" he said as he went to her side and held her hand. "Roy?" she asked. "Yea, honey it's me. What's wrong? Are you in pain?" He looked her over quickly to see if he could determine if anything physically was wrong. "No, Roy. It's not the pain," she said as the tears continued to fall from her eyes. "Roy, no one will tell me where Jim is. Why isn't he here? If he was alright, he would be here." Roy tried to think quickly about what to do. He had experience in keeping news like this from victims. He was supposed to change the subject. Divert the patient's attention. But he wasn't sure he could pull it off with his friend. "How are you feeling? Everyone at the station says hello." Roy hoped his diversion would work. "Roy, please where is Jim?" Roy knew that due to the head injury and the prolonged coma that Monica wasn't able to think clearly. She would never be able to process the information that her husband had been killed years ago. Roy could only think of one way to try to calm her. He took her hand and made sure he had her full attention. He looked into her eyes and spoke in a calm and reassuring tone. "Sweetheart I want you to trust me. Everything is all right. I don't want you to ask any questions. I just want you to trust me okay? Everything is all right." Monica saw the sincerity in Roy's blue eyes. She was confused and weak. She wasn't sure why, but she knew she could trust him. She had known Roy a long time. He had never let her down. But she didn't understand why everyone was being so mysterious. "Okay Roy," she said. "Now I've got to get back to work, but I don't want you worrying anymore okay?" Roy flashed a sweet smile to her. "Thank you Roy," she said as she squeezed his hand before he left the room. Monica lied there trying to understand what was going on. Why was everyone so reluctant to talk about Jim?  Suddenly something triggered in her memory. Jim. There was something in her memory about Jim. She tried to stay awake to remember. But she was exhausted from her exchange with Roy. As she struggled to keep her eyes open, a nurse came in to administer her pain medication. She drifted into a deep sleep once again. The elevator doors opened into the ER department. Roy was surprised to see Johnny waiting to get on. "Roy, were you upstairs with Monica?" Johnny asked. "Yea Johnny would you come in the lounge so we can talk?" Johnny was a little confused by Roy's tone. He followed him into the staff lounge. "Johnny I wanted to talk to you about Monica. Dr. Brackett called the station today to let us know Monica was awake and off the respirator." "Yea isn't that great? " Johnny said with strained enthusiasm. "He told me that she is asking for Jim." Johnny's half smile disappeared. His face grew sad. "Johnny, I was just up in ICU. When I went in she was crying." Roy had Johnny's full attention. "She doesn't understand why no one will tell her where Jim is." "You didn't tell her did you?" Johnny asked in an excited tone. "No Johnny. I told her to trust me that everything was all right. I didn't talk about Jim either way. I just asked her to trust me. She calmed down a lot. The nurse was going in to give her pain med. She's probably sleeping now." "But Roy, how could you tell her to trust you? Does she think Jim is alive?" said Johnny. "I don't think she is sure either way. She just believes that everything is all right. Maybe that's all she needs right now. She's scared. She can't remember what's happened to her or where she left off in her life. I don't think she is ready for the details, she just needs to know everything is okay," Roy stopped as Dwyer came in to tell him they had a run. Roy patted Johnny on the back before he left. Johnny thought over what Roy had said. He was probably right. She must be terrified right now. A big chunk of her memory was gone. The most important person in her life wasn't there for her. Dixie came into the lounge for a coffee break. She fixed a cup for herself and one for Johnny. Then she sat down and studied his face. Kell had told her about Monica's memory lapse. She could see that Johnny was struggling with something. Johnny explained the way Roy had handled the situation. "I think Roy is right. With her head injury she might not be able to understand the information if we did give it to her. Let's hope we can all make her feel secure until she can remember," Dixie took another sip of coffee and then headed back to the floor. Johnny stayed in the lounge trying to prepare himself to speak to Monica again. Then he decided he was ready to go back upstairs to ICU. E!E!E!E!E! Two ICU nurses were in Monica's room. It was change of shift and the day nurse Susan Rollins was giving report to the night nurse Beth Donahue. The ICU nurses worked four, twelve hour shifts per week. The night nurse was new to Rampart and this was her first shift in the ICU. Susan began her report. "She was brought out of twilight sleep this morning. She was extubated this afternoon. Her vital signs are stable. She is experiencing a lot of pain. We are medicating her every four hours. She has regained consciousness 3 times. She is coherent but not completely oriented. She appears to have a long term memory lapse. She has been asking for her husband, Jim." The nurse paused after this and pulled Beth off to the side. "Her husband was a policeman, he was killed 6 years ago, said Susan. "Oh, what a shame," said Beth. "What do we say if she asks about him again?" "Dr. Brackett wants us to avoid the subject if possible. If she gets very insistent, he wants to be paged so he can handle it," said Susan. The two nurses went back over to Monica's bed to check her dressings and make sure she was comfortable. Monica was still asleep from the pain medication. "Wait a minute," said Beth. "I remember the story now. My brother is a policeman. He was at the funeral. A friend of his from the academy worked with the guy. I remember him telling me about the medal." "What medal?" asked Susan? "At the funeral the police commissioner presented her with a medal of valor for what her husband did. But she didn't keep it. She went over and pinned it on her husband. She said it was his, he earned it," Beth said as she looked sympathetically at her patient. "Wow. I didn't know her before she was admitted, but Dr. Brackett and Miss McCall do. All the men from her firehouse are always visiting when they can. And one of her partners is here all the time." said Susan as they left the room. Medal of valor. Medal of valor. The words were distant in her mind. Medal of valor. That meant something. But what? She floated through the darkness of sleep. But the words wouldn't let her rest peacefully. Medal of valor. Johnny came into Monica's room and stood next to her bed. She was asleep, but very restless. Maybe she's in pain he thought. He checked his watch. She still had well over an hour before she was due for pain medication. He felt her head to see if she had a fever but she was cool. He checked to see if anything else appeared to be wrong. "Medal," she whispered. "Medal." What was she talking about? What medal? In the fog of unconsciousness she kept hearing the words over and over. She struggled to remember. She saw people, a lot of people. They were rows and rows of people forming a circle around something. She tried to get through, but there were so many it seemed endless. They seemed to be almost preventing her from seeing what was there. She began to notice that everyone was dressed the same. Dark uniforms. But what kind of uniforms were they? She looked around, but didn't recognize any faces. As she moved through the crowd, she saw that some of the people were crying silently, tears streaming down their faces. She kept pushing to get closer to the center of the group. She had to know what was there. Finally she was very close. There were only a few more rows. She could see that she was almost there. From where she stood she could see the faces of the people in the last row before her. It was Captain Stanley, Mike Stoker, Marco Lopez, Chet Kelly, and Roy DeSoto. She saw Dr Brackett, Dr. Early, and Dixie McCall.  Then she noticed a tall man standing on the other side of the circle in the first row. It was Lt. Harrelson. He had such a sad look on his face. He started to cry. She felt so sorry for him. Why was he so sad? She hesitated to push through the last row of people. She began to feel afraid to see what she had worked so hard to get to. Just then, Johnny came up beside her and took her arm. He looked down into her eyes and she wasn't afraid anymore. He led her through the group keeping his arm around her. He kept saying, "Its okay, I'm here." When they broke through she saw what the object of everyone's attention was. It was a casket. Monica stood in front of it and the lid lifted. The first thing she saw was a shiny object. It was a medal. It almost glowed from within the coffin. Then she looked to see who was lying there. She felt Johnny tighten his hold on her. At first the face was blurred, and then slowly it came into view. It was Jim. All at once it came back to her. Jim was gone. He had been shot. He was gone. He was gone. Monica began to cry out in her sleep. "Monica, its Johnny, wake up honey. Wake up." Monica opened her eyes, which were filled with tears. She grabbed onto Johnny. "Jim is gone. Jim is gone. I remember. I remember," she sobbed. Johnny hugged her and she collapsed into his arms. But this time she didn't stiffen and pull back. This time she collapsed in the sobs of her broken heart. Johnny held her as tight as he dared. He whispered, "Shhhh, its okay, its okay I'm here," in her ear. E!E!E!E!E! Over the next few weeks Monica regained most of her memory a little at a time. Dr. Brackett had referred her to Dr. Sheldon a psychiatrist on staff who had experience with amnesia patients. He helped Monica work through the process of remembering her past. She still hadn't remembered the day of the accident, but due to her head injury she probably never would.  She began physical therapy and was walking short distances. She was still having a lot of pain in her leg. Dr. Caldwell was concerned, but he hoped that with time her leg might heal completely. Johnny went back to work. He was feeling much better now that Monica was making progress. He was glad to be back at the station and in a more normal routine again. Dr. Brackett was planning on releasing her from the hospital any day. Johnny made arrangements to keep the promise he made to her the day of the accident. He was going to bring her to his cabin in the mountains. On the way back to the station from Rampart, Johnny was discussing the plans he had for the trip. Johnny wanted to keep it simple, a picnic by the lake, and a drive through the mountains, watching the stars from his porch at night. They both needed a rest from the ordeal of the past couple months. "It sounds great Johnny," said Roy. Then he hesitated, not sure if he should bring up the subject. Johnny was so at ease he didn't want to dampen his spirit. But he was sure it must have crossed Johnny's mind. Maybe he would like the chance to talk to someone about it. "Johnny, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it. Are you going to talk to Monica about your feelings?" Johnny's face turned serious. "Roy I have been thinking about that. I think the best thing to do right now is just wait and see. I know she doesn't remember what I told her when she was unconscious. If the opportunity presents itself I may say something. But for now, this is just going to be a trip to help her get her strength back, nothing more." Roy was amazed at the change in Johnny. The old Johnny he knew years ago would have gone full speed ahead and never thought things out. He was really impressed with the new Johnny. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at him. "You're something else Johnny. You know that?" Johnny looked confused. That was Roy's usual way of telling him he was acting irresponsibly. "Johnny, I mean I can't believe the change in you. It's great! I think you're growing up Junior!" "Well, thank you Pally," Johnny said with a smile. He was feeling different. He could think more clearly now. He felt more settled somehow. He knew he was happier than he had ever been. E!E!E!E!E! "Well, well so you've had enough of us," Dr. Brackett said with a smile. "No Dr. Brackett, it's not you. It's the hospital food. It makes Chet's Irish stew look good!" Monica said with a chuckle. "When you're well enough to hate the food, you're well enough to go home," Dr. Brackett said as he finished signing her release papers. "Now Johnny are you sure you understand the rules? No overdoing it and I want to see this young lady as soon as you get back." "Yes sir," he said. Dr. Brackett and Dixie watched as Johnny wheeled Monica down the hall. "They look good together don't they?" Dixie said with a far off look. Dr. Brackett straightened in surprise and looked at Dixie. "Dix what are you talking about?" asked Dr. Brackett. "Well, just call it women's intuition. But I think they would be perfect for each other," replied Dixie. They both smiled at the thought, and then returned to their duties. E!E!E!E!E! "Oh Johnny it's beautiful up here!" Monica said as she tried to take in every site they passed. Johnny looked at her and smiled. It was good to see her out of the hospital. It was good to see her smiling. He was sure after week of sunshine and fresh air she would get her color back. He was also going to try to put some weight back on her. She had lost too much while she was at Rampart. He just hoped his cooking would do the trick. Mike Stoker had given him the infamous "spaghetti recipe." Johnny practiced it one night on the guys at the station. Mike himself said Johnny had done a great job. Monica didn't know it, but Johnny had driven up a few days earlier to clean up the cabin and get some supplies. He even bought some flowers to try to make the place a little nicer for her. He made sure he had plenty of wood for the fireplace. The nights could be chilly up here. He didn't want her to catch pneumonia after all she'd been through. Joanne DeSoto had sent them some of her famous chocolate chip cookies. She had also done some shopping for Monica. Joanne was afraid Monica might not fit in any of her clothes. She was at least a size smaller than before the accident. Johnny parked the Rover in front of the cabin and helped Monica out. "I'm going to get you settled on the couch and then I'll unload the car," he said as he directed her inside. Monica looked around the cabin. It was lovely, just what she would have pictured for Johnny.  The interior walls were a cherry wood with hardwood floors to match. There was a large stone fireplace with a cherry mantle. Johnny had some pictures of Chris and Jennifer there and some pottery that he had made years before. There was a large couch placed directly across from the fireplace. The kitchen area was part of the living room space. Over the sink there was a window with a view of the lake. There was a wooden rocker and some simple tables. Monica wondered if Johnny had made them himself. She noticed the flowers in a vase on the coffee table. It was an assortment of colorful wild flowers. She realized he must have been there before to prepare the place. She was touched by how thoughtful he was. "Johnny, this place is wonderful! The flowers are beautiful," she said as she gave him a look to let him know his secret was out. "Well, I just wanted to tidy up a little before you came. I kinda let the place go a little when it's just me," Johnny blushed a little as he stammered in his explanation. "It was really nice of you Johnny. I appreciate it," she said. Johnny wanted to change the subject. "Now you sit down on the couch. There is a blanket there if you're cold. I could start a fire if you'd like." "I'm fine," she said as she sat down on the couch. Johnny went out to the car to get their things. He put her suitcase in one bedroom and his in the spare room. Then he went into the kitchen to make them some lunch. He opened a can of soup and began to heat it on the stove and went to the refrigerator to get some cold cuts for sandwiches. Monica came into the kitchen area. "Can I help?" she asked. "Absolutely not," said Johnny. "You've already had a big day." "Well, I'll just sit here and keep you company," she said as she sat down at his kitchen table for two. They ate lunch and Johnny had Monica take a pain pill and her antibiotic. He could see she was trying to hide her discomfort. But she couldn't fool a seasoned paramedic. He could spot someone in pain a mile off. Then he showed her to her room. He insisted that she lay down. She was looking tired. He knew she had to be exhausted. Monica didn't put up much of a fight. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Johnny pulled the door shut and went outside to sit on the porch. He could sit and look out onto the lake from the porch. It felt so good to be up here. He liked LA, but he needed the peace and quiet up here to regroup sometimes. It was therapeutic for him. He always felt that he thought more clearly up here. He often felt drawn to the mountains when something was bothering him. As he sat there, his thoughts kept returning to Monica. He was so grateful she was recovering. He wanted to make this a nice week for her. Then he started thinking about his feelings for her. Now that she was here with him, he started to get a little unsure of himself. What if he did get the chance to tell her how he felt and she didn't feel the same way? They might lose their friendship. Maybe it would be better to say nothing, than to risk that? E!E!E!E!E! Roy looked at this watch as he and Marco began clearing the table from lunch. "They're probably at the cabin by now," he said. "Roy are sure it was a good idea to send Monica up there after all she's been through?" said Chet. "I mean, a week with Gage, she might need to go into the hospital again." Chet was back to his old self. Things were getting back to normal back at Station 51. Johnny had been back for a few weeks. Roy was glad to be working with at least one of his partners again. He never was paired with Brice, but having different partners from day to day wasn't easy. "Don't forget guys, the picnic starts at 2 on Sunday. Joanne's planning to have a lot of food. She'll never forgive you if it gets wasted," reminded Roy. "I'm looking forward to it Roy," said Captain Stanley. "Can we bring anything?" Marco asked. "No," said Roy. "I think our wives have everything under control," he was speaking to Captain Stanley and Mike Stoker. The ladies had been planning this "Welcome Back Monica," party for weeks. Joanne, Marie Stanley, and Connie Stoker had been a big help when Monica was in the hospital. When the men of Station 51 were on duty, they would stop by to visit her. When Johnny was practically living at the hospital they would come and encourage him to eat and take a break from her bedside. The three women were close friends. They considered Monica a friend also. Monica had three significant connections to these women. One, she was a woman.  Two, she worked with their husbands. Three, she knew what it was like to be married to a man with a dangerous job. She could relate to them better than anyone at Station 51. She understood their fears. She could help them to understand their husband's jobs. She was also somehow an inspiration. She had been through something they never wanted to face. She had lost her husband to a dangerous job, and she had survived. If the worst ever happened, they knew she would be able to help them in a way no one else ever could. Roy and Joanne had talked about Johnny and his feelings for Monica. Joanne, who took pride in her match making skills, had silently wished for years that their two dear friends would find each other. Joanne was hopeful that during their week away, Johnny and Monica would fall in love. Squad 51 child injured 523 Benner. 5-2-3 Benner, cross street Cherry, time out 12:25. Squad 51, 10-4, KMG 365. Roy and Bill Bellingham headed to the squad. When they arrived at the address a woman was sitting on the ground holding a towel to a little girl's lip. There was a lot of blood on the child's tee shirt. "Mam, I'm Roy DeSoto, this is my partner Bill Bellingham, what's the trouble?" "Hi, I'm Laura Hudson, this is my daughter Marie. She was running for the ice cream truck and she tripped and fell. She hit her mouth on the bumper of that car. She has a pretty deep cut." "Well, hello Marie. Can I take a look at your lip?" said Roy. "OK," said Marie. Roy checked the laceration. It was deep and her lip was swollen. Bill proceeded to get vital signs. "Marie, does anything else hurt? Did you bump the rest of your head anywhere?" "No, just my lip," she said. Roy checked her pupils and her ears to be sure. Bill was on the line to Rampart. They wanted Marie to come in for x-rays just in case. "Hey Marie, I got you a chocolate swirl!" said a little girl who was breathless from running up the street. "Rita, how did you get money for that?" asked Laura. "I got it from Marie. After she fell she handed me her money and asked me to get her ice cream for her." Roy and Bill smiled. "I really wanted ice cream," Marie said in explanation. After they brought in Marie, Roy saw Dixie at the nurse's station and went to say hello. Dixie told him that Johnny and Monica had left the hospital about 10 in the morning. "I think this week will do her a world of good," said Dixie. "I can't imagine what it would be like to be stuck in this hospital for almost two months. Sometimes it's hard to take for eight hours," Dixie smiled then she got a thoughtful look on her face. "What's up Dix?" asked Roy. Dixie didn't know if she was crossing over the line, she didn't get involved in any of the other paramedics personal lives. But Squad 51 was different. She had helped Roy fight for the program from the beginning. He went through the three-month program twice. She probably knew him better than any of the paramedics.  When Johnny and then Monica came along they had all become friends. So maybe it was OK for her to ask the question. "Roy, have you ever noticed anything ….special about Johnny and Monica? This morning when they were leaving together, I don't know, it just seemed right," Dixie stopped maybe she had gone too far. Then she looked over at Roy who was doing his best to keep from smiling. "Do you know something I don't?" she asked. "Oh no. Well, not really. I mean there's nothing definite," Roy continued to stammer trying not to betray a confidence. Just then, a call came through the handie talkie and Roy and Bill had to leave. Dixie smiled as she returned to her work. She was on to something she knew it. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny was in the kitchen making dinner. Several hours had passed since he sent Monica to lie down. He had started a fire in the fireplace; it made the room warm and inviting. Johnny looked up from the stove and saw Monica standing by the fire. "Well hello there. Did you sleep well? Was the bed comfortable?" Johnny asked. He knew it wasn't the best mattress in the world. But he never minded when he came up here to get away for a few days. "Are you kidding? You know better than anyone Johnny that a real bed is heaven compared to a hospital bed," she said with a smile. "Yea, I guess you're right, they are pretty awful aren't they?" Johnny answered. "I started dinner, "Johnny said. "Do I smell Stoker's spaghetti?" she asked. "Yes you do. Mike gave me his recipe and a cooking lesson. I hope I do it justice." Johnny said. "It smells great. It smells like home," she said. Johnny knew what she was trying to say. "You miss the station, don't you? " Johnny asked. Monica got a serious, almost sad look on her face for a moment. "Yes I do," then she became more upbeat, "But I'm going to work hard and take all my vitamins and someday Dr. Brackett will clear me for duty." "Well we could use all the sane people we can get with the phantom lurking around," Johnny said with a smile. He knew that the verdict wasn't in on her leg though. It would take a long time and a lot of hard work for her to be strong enough to go back to firefighting. "I think it's ready. Why don't we eat in front of the fire?" he asked. Inside he chided himself. I hope that didn't sound like a line. They had a nice time during dinner. They laughed about the phantom's tricks and reminisced about old rescues. It was nice and comfortable. Johnny made them some tea and they sat on the couch watching the fire. "It's funny isn't it? How warm and safe a fire can make you feel when it's small and contained." Monica said. "But if it gets out it could turn on you." Johnny sat there thinking about her words. It was the same with his love for her. It would be safe to keep it contained. If he let it out, things could possibly turn on him. The next day Johnny loaded up a picnic basket. He and Monica walked down to the lake. It was a short walk, but there were a lot of uneven spots. Johnny held onto her arm so she wouldn't fall. It was sunny and warm but there was a breeze coming off the water. Johnny spread out a blanket and they sat by the shore. They ate sandwiches and some of Joanne's chocolate chip cookies. Johnny noticed that Monica had grown quiet. "Is everything okay?" he asked. Monica smiled and looked down as if she was avoiding saying something. Then she took a deep breath and started. "Johnny, Dr. Sheldon said he thought I was ready to hear about the accident," she said. "So he told you everything?" Johnny asked. Monica shook her head and hesitated again. "No, he said he thought it might be better if I heard it from you. He also hoped that it might be good for you too," she continued. Monica saw Johnny's demeanor change. He started to look sad and she didn't want that. "Johnny, I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it. I can't stand to think how hard it was on you. I can't imagine how I would have felt if had been you or Roy." Johnny thought for a moment. "I think Dr. Sheldon is right. It might be good for both of us. Otherwise it might be something that always comes between us and I wouldn't want that," Johnny said with an understanding smile. Johnny told her the story from start to finish. He told her how he had seen the accident happen from the back of the ambulance. How she had to be cut out of the squad. How her heart had stopped several times. He even told her about the man who had caused the accident. He told her that the man never should have been released in the first place. Then he ended his story by telling her about the weeks before she regained consciousness. Monica listened closely not only to what Johnny said, but the way that he said it. She could hear the anxiety in his voice when he talked about the accident scene. She heard the anger in his voice when he talked about the other driver. She heard the compassion in his voice when he talked about staying with her when she was unconscious. Tears started rolling down her cheek. "Johnny you're a wonderful friend," she said as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. The closeness of her lips to his stirred something in both of them. Monica lingered there for a moment longer than would have been usual. Then she leaned back and looked down, her face blushing. Johnny tried to control his emotion. It was just gratitude he told himself. She was expressing gratitude for a friend who had supported her in a very traumatic situation. The two sat quietly for a while, each not knowing what to say or do. A couple of children were walking along the shore with a beach ball. They were throwing it back and forth. A gust of wind took it away from them and it landed on the blanket where Monica and Johnny were sitting. Johnny got up and threw the ball back to one of the children. The child in turn threw it back to Johnny and started giggling. Johnny played along and the three tossed the ball back and forth until a woman further down the shore called the children, telling them it was time to go home. They said goodbye to Johnny and headed for home. "I think it's time for you to go home too young lady. I've had you out here much too long. You must be exhausted," he said with fake authority. "I guess you're right. Let me help you fold the blanket," Monica said as Johnny helped her to her feet. She was a little shaky from sitting on the ground so long. She stumbled at first and Johnny put his arm around her to steady her. She smiled and then they reached down for the ends of the blanket and folded it together. When they returned to the cabin Johnny insisted that Monica take a nap. She relented and went into her room to lie down. Johnny was tired too and decided to lie down on the couch for a while. But neither of them slept. Johnny thought about that moment when she had kissed his cheek. Had she felt the way he felt? Was she beginning to see him differently? It was so strange. He had been kissed by so many girls. He laughed at how she had the power to make him feel so wonderful with just a kiss on the cheek. Monica was thinking about the same moment. What she had felt when she kissed him had taken her totally by surprise. She knew she loved Johnny. But she loved Roy, Marco, Chet, Mike, and Captain Stanley too. They were all like family to her. But she couldn't deny what had happened. She hadn't felt anything like that in so long. Not since Jim. She thought about Johnny. How he looked when he talked about her accident. She remembered how whenever she woke up in the hospital he was right there by her side. She thought of how he had gone to the trouble to take her on this vacation. Was it possible he felt something more for her too? Johnny decided if Monica didn't bring up what happened that afternoon, he wouldn't. Monica had had a lot to deal with over the last several weeks. She didn't need any additional pressure. If it were meant to be, it would happen. He remembered that Father Mike said he would put a good word in for them with the good Lord. Johnny imagined that would do more good than anything he could do himself. Monica didn't discuss what had happened that afternoon at dinner. Johnny brought up the picnic at the DeSoto's that was coming up on Sunday. She didn't know he was sworn to secrecy that everyone from Station 51 would be there and even Dr. Brackett and Dixie from Rampart. Dr. Early and Dr. Morton were invited, but they were on duty. Monica talked about how good it would be to see Chris and Jennifer, Roy's children. They had sent her so many sweet pictures when she was in the hospital. She was looking really tired after dinner. They sat on the couch by the fire and Johnny caught her dozing off while he was talking. When Monica realized what happened she apologized. 'I guess I'm more tired than I thought," she said. Johnny said," Good night" as she headed off to bed. He stayed on the couch watching the log on the fire slowly burn out. He thought again about that afternoon and wondered if Monica had felt anything too? The next morning Monica slept late. It was around 9:30 and Johnny had been up since 8. He had cleaned the kitchen and made coffee. He was debating whether or not he should check on her. He didn't want to invade her privacy, but he didn't want her to go without help if she needed it. He decided he better check to be sure. He knocked on the bedroom door. There was no answer. He quietly turned the doorknob and peeked in. She was sleeping. She had a very content, peaceful look on her face. He watched her for a few moments then closed the door quietly. He went outside to the front porch. It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue. It was warm, but not hot. He looked out at the lake. He never got tired of looking at it. What was it about water that made you feel so alive, so free? LA seemed so far away. It was like another world, another lifetime. Sometimes it seemed like there was nothing but pain in LA. But here he always felt full of life. This place never let him down. He could always depend on it to make him feel strong and secure again. He heard the voices of children playing. They were in front of the cabin next door. The next cabin was about 30 yards away. It was much larger than Johnny's. It was really a home, not just a vacation get away. He hadn't seen anyone in it for a long time. He remembered an elderly couple once lived there, but he hadn't seen them for almost two years. He had just assumed they had either sold it or passed away. Maybe it was being rented out now? He noticed the two children were heading his way. He watched as they came up to his front porch. There was a boy and a girl. The boy appeared to be about 10, and the girl was around 8. "Hi, my name is Jimmy, and this is my sister Susie," said the little boy with a smile. "Well Hi, my name is Johnny," he said as he reached out to shake Jimmy's hand. Then he reached for Susie's hand but she stepped back behind her brother. "She's shy," said Jimmy "But I'm not," he said proudly. "Do you live here Johnny?" he asked. "No, this is my cabin, but I just come up here for vacations. I live in LA," said Johnny. He noticed that Jimmy's face turned from childlike and carefree to serious when he mentioned LA. "We used to live there, but Mommy said we should move up here. We moved after school was over." "Well," said Johnny "I'm sure you're gonna like it here" Jimmy's sister didn't say a word. She kept close to her big brother. Jimmy proceeded to tell Johnny all about the third grade. Then he began telling jokes he had learned from his friends in school. They were silly, and sometimes he missed the punch line, but Johnny and even Susie laughed at the animation Jimmy used while telling them. The laughter got a little loud and Johnny remembered Monica sleeping inside. "Shhhh," he said trying to bring the laughter level down a notch. "What's wrong Johnny?" asked Jimmy. "My friend is sleeping inside. I don't want us to wake her up," he explained. "It's almost ten o'clock, said Jimmy. "Shouldn't she be awake by now?" "Well, Jimmy. My friend has been in the hospital and she needs to rest so she can get well." "Wow, what happened? Did she have a heart attack? I saw a man on TV who had a heart attack and the doctor pushed on him right here," he said pointing to his chest. "And then the guy woke up and …" Jimmy stopped. "And what?" asked Johnny. "I don't know, that's when mommy told me I had to brush my teeth and go to bed," he said sounding as if he was still disappointed he didn't get to find out the ending. Johnny smiled at him. "No, she didn't have a heart attack; she was in a car accident. But now she just needs to rest and she'll be fine." Johnny realized how good it felt to be able to say that Monica would be fine. For all those weeks they never seemed to be sure from day to day what would happen. Even when she showed signs of improvement he was afraid to be too hopeful as if he might jinx it. "Jimmy. Susie. What are you doing down here? I told you to stay in front of the house," said a woman who was walking up to Johnny's cabin. She appeared to be around thirty years old. She had blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. She wore a tee shirt and shorts and a pair of running shoes. Johnny thought she looked a little tired and maybe a little frightened. "Hi my name is John Gage," Johnny said as he extended his hand. "Hello, my name is Sandy," she stopped short of saying her last name as she politely shook his hand. "I'm sorry if they were bothering you. Jimmy is very," she hesitated trying to find the best word, "Outgoing" "They were no bother. Jimmy said you were going to be living here. I'm only up here for vacations. I live in LA. But if you ever need anything when I am here, please feel free," Johnny noticed her expression when he mentioned LA. It was the same expression Jimmy had. "Well thank you very much Mr. Gage. We really need to be going. I have a lot unpacking to do." she said as she guided the children away from the porch and towards their house. "Bye Johnny," said Jimmy as he turned to wave. Susie even looked back and gave a smile. Johnny stood on the porch for a few minutes puzzled by the encounter. What was the problem with LA, he wondered? Then when he thought about it, he realized there was a lot people could find wrong with LA. It was smoggy, the crime rate was going up, and the cost of living was rising. Maybe Sandy just wanted a better place to raise her kids. That was understandable. He went back in the cabin. Monica was coming out from the bedroom. She was wearing a v-necked tee shirt and blue jeans. Her hair was damp from washing it and she was trying to push it off her face. Her jeans fit nicely. They must be the new ones Joanne bought, thought Johnny. The tee shirt was a deep blue that somehow made her look less pale. The extra sleep must have done her good. She looked better than she had in weeks. "I'm sorry I slept so late," she said. "That's okay. That's what you're here for, remember? Rest and relaxation," Johnny smiled as he headed toward the kitchen. He went to the refrigerator and poured Monica a glass of orange juice. "Drink that while I get you something to eat, so you can take your antibiotic. This will be the last dose," he said triumphantly.  Monica had been on antibiotics since the accident. Due to her surgeries and the compound fracture in her leg she was prone to infection. She went from IV antibiotics to oral antibiotics when she was able to eat. Thankfully they had worked and she never developed any infections. "Did I hear little voices earlier?" she asked. "Yea, remember that little boy and girl who were playing ball at the lake? They live next door. They moved here from LA. The little boy is Jimmy. He's ten. Susie is his little sister and she's eight. They saw me on the porch and came over to say hello. Jimmy is very …outgoing." Johnny said using Sandy's choice of word. "He was telling us jokes, and then his mom came over and took them home. They seem like really nice kids." Johnny said as he put scrambled eggs on a plate and set them on the table for Monica. "This will be a great place for them to grow up," said Monica. "It has to be hard trying to raise a family in LA," she said.  "I think I'd want to be here too," Monica said as if stating a fact. Johnny looked at her from across the table. His thoughts drifted to the two of them with their children. Going to the lake, hiking, sitting around the fireplace laughing at the silly jokes the children told. Johnny came back to the moment and just looked at Monica and smiled, a little embarrassed at the picture he had created in his head. Johnny decided that Monica should take it easy that day. Maybe her sleeping late was a sign she was doing too much. They went out and sat on the front porch and took in the beautiful scenery around them. There were some small sailboats drifting by. Some ducks were floating on the water waiting for someone to throw them bread crumbs. The trees were swaying gracefully in the breeze. It was very peaceful and they were both feeling relaxed. E!E!E!E!E! The silence of the afternoon was broken by the sounds of a woman's screams. "Jimmy, Jimmy,' she screamed frantically. It was Sandy. She was standing by the waters edge, screaming toward the water.  Johnny jumped up and ran toward the shore. Monica followed, but more slowly hampered by her leg. Johnny ran up to Sandy. "It's Jimmy!" she cried as she pointed toward the water. Johnny looked out and saw Jimmy struggling to keep afloat. He was almost half way across the lake. Johnny kicked off his shoes and jumped in the water. Jimmy's mom continued to scream his name while Susie clung to her crying. As Monica got closer she saw Johnny jump in the water. She walked up to Sandy and told her to call an ambulance and bring several blankets back out.  Sandy went into the house seeming more in control. Susie started to sob. Monica bent down and put her arms around the child, shielding Susie from seeing the site of her brother struggling in the water. "Its okay honey, my friend is a fireman and he is going to help Jimmy. It's going to be okay," Monica said reassuringly as she looked out onto the water. Johnny was almost out to Jimmy, when the little boy slipped under the water. Johnny dove under the water. He came back up without the child and took a gulp of air and dove back under. He searched for Jimmy until he ran out of air. He surfaced, took a deep gulp of air and went down a third time. Sandy emerged from the house running down to the shore with several blankets. "The ambulance is coming," she said breathlessly. "Let's lay a blanket out for him," Monica said. As they put out the blanket Monica watched the water for Johnny to reemerge. Then after what seemed like an eternity she saw him come up with the child. "Jimmy!" Sandy screamed. Johnny swam to shore with the little boy. He carried him to the blanket and laid him down. Monica bent down to listen for respirations as Johnny felt for a pulse. "He's not breathing," said Monica. She began mouth to mouth while Johnny started chest compressions. After several rounds of CPR Monica motioned to Johnny to stop compressions so she could check for a pulse. She shook her head no, and Johnny went back to his task. This went on for several minutes. Johnny was getting tired. He had used a lot of energy finding Jimmy and the chest compressions were using all he had left. He knew that Monica was still too weak to take over for him, so he went on. Then Jimmy took a gulp of air. Monica and Johnny turned him quickly to his side so he would not aspirate any of the water he had swallowed. Jimmy began coughing and opened his eyes. "Mommy?" he said weakly. "I'm here sweetheart," said Sandy as she bent down to kiss his head. "It's okay honey; you're going to be alright." Monica took a blanket from the pile and wrapped it around the child. The sounds of sirens were in the distance. The ambulance was almost there. Monica then turned her attention to Johnny who was sitting on the shore, exhausted. She grabbed another blanket and put it around his shoulders. "Are you all right?" she asked looking him over for injuries. "I'm fine," he said. The ambulance drove down the path. Johnny got up to help the attendants lift Jimmy onto the stretcher. He gave a full report of the incident for them to relay to the doctors at the hospital. Sandy and Susie were allowed to ride with Jimmy. The ambulance pulled away and went up the road with lights and sirens. Monica and Johnny stood for a moment watching the ambulance go out of sight. Johnny was relieved that Jimmy was on his way to the hospital. Then he turned to Monica. "Are you all right?" he asked realizing that she hadn't been involved in a rescue since her accident. He looked at her closely to make sure nothing was wrong. "I'm fine Johnny," she said with a smile. "What about you?" "Well, I'm a little wet, but otherwise I feel great!" "You did a great job Johnny!" "We both did," he said. "We make a great team," he said, referring to the rescue. He reached out and gave her a big hug. Saving a life was an incredible feeling. It was something they would never take for granted. Monica stepped back and looked up at Johnny. They were both smiling. Then Johnny looked more deeply into her eyes. She looked back. Instinctively he bent down and kissed her. It was a short, gentle kiss. He pulled back slightly and looked in her eyes to see her reaction. She was looking back at him, and then she reached up and kissed him back. This time the kiss was longer and more passionate. When their lips parted, Johnny looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. Oh no, he thought. She wasn't ready for this. She's recovering from a very traumatic event; I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation. "Monica, I'm sorry," he said gently. Monica realized that he had misunderstood her emotion. "Oh Johnny, I'm not crying because I'm upset. I'm crying because…..." She hesitated trying to put her feelings into words. "I'm happy. You make me happy Johnny," she smiled through her tears. Johnny gently wiped the tears from her face. "You make me happy too," he said then he kissed her again.   E!E!E!E!E! Johnny helped Monica back up to the cabin. Then he took a shower and changed out of his wet clothes. Monica made them some tea. When he came back in the living room he carried the cups over to the coffee table for her. The tea was just what he needed. The air was warm, but the water in the lake was chilly. 'I hope Jimmy is going to be all right," Monica said. "How far away is the nearest hospital?" she asked. "It's about 20 minutes from here, but I've heard it has a really good trauma center," Johnny said. "Jimmy should be fine." There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. For the first time in all the years they had known each other Johnny and Monica were a little nervous with each other. Neither of them was quite sure how to discuss what had happened between them. Finally, Johnny spoke, he took Monica's hand in his and leaned forward and looked into her eyes. "Monica after your accident I felt awful.  I had a lot of time to think. When I looked back I remembered there were times when I was attracted to you over the years. But I had blocked them out because we worked so closely together. I guess that almost losing you helped me to see that life is too short to deny those feelings." "Johnny I don't know what to say. After Jim died I never even thought about finding anyone else. I threw myself into my work and suddenly 6 years had gone by, but there were times for me too when I would feel something more for you. I guess I did the same thing you did. I just blocked them out.  Maybe sometimes love comes when we least expect it and it can be with someone who has been right there all along." Johnny pulled her close and kissed her. They held each other tight for a long time. Johnny couldn't believe that all the hours of wondering whether she would live or die, wondering if she would love him back, were over. She was going to get well and she loved him. He wasn't a praying man, but for the sake of Father Mike he offered up a "thank you" to "the good Lord" as he was called. E!E!E!E!E! The next morning Johnny and Monica were having breakfast when there was a knock on the front door. Johnny got up to see who was there. Sandy was standing on the front porch. "Hi Sandy," said Johnny. "Come in," he opened the door to allow her to enter. Sandy came in and stood in the living room. "Sandy I don't think I introduced you, this is Monica," Johnny said. The two women smiled and shook hands. "I'm sorry to bother you. I realized that in all the excitement yesterday I forgot to thank you for saving Jimmy's life. The doctor's say he is going to be fine. He'll probably be home in a few days." "That's great," said Johnny. "He would like it if you would stop by and say hello, said Sandy. "We'll be here until Sunday, and then we're heading back down to LA. If he's home before we leave we'll be sure to stop by," said Johnny. "How did you know what to do? Are you doctors or something?" Sandy asked. "No, we're paramedics," Johnny responded. "We just moved here a couple weeks ago," Sandy explained. "My parents used to own the house. They left it to me when they died. We had to move from LA," Sandy said. Had to move, Johnny thought? Maybe it was because Johnny and Monica had saved Jimmy's life. Maybe it was because she really needed someone to talk to. Sandy found herself wanting to explain the whole story to them. She felt she could trust them. "I divorced my husband after Susie was born. He was always in trouble. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted my kids to grow up in a normal home. A few years later, my ex-husband went to jail for armed robbery. He shot a bank manager and almost killed him. About two months ago some judge let him out. Everyone said he was still a threat, but the judge didn't listen. His lawyer said some kind of mistake was made with jury instructions during his trial. The day after he was released, he robbed a bank and killed the manager. Then while the police were chasing him he crashed his car into somebody and almost killed another person. There was such a public outcry over his release. It was all over the news. When the press found out that I was married to him years ago the reporters wouldn't leave me alone. They called the house, and camped outside my door. It was awful. The other kids started giving Jimmy and Susie a hard time in school. I put my house up for sale and came up here after school ended. I thought maybe we could start over up here. I hope I did the right thing," Sandy looked at the reaction on Johnny and Monica's faces. They looked so shocked. Maybe she shouldn't have told them. They probably wouldn't want to be friends with a woman who would marry such a monster. Sandy looked away from their faces, ashamed of her story. She suddenly remembered Jimmy saying that Johnny's friend had been in an accident. Paramedics, from LA she thought.  Her ex-husband had crashed into a paramedic squad. A woman had been hurt. "Oh my God!" she said with tears in her eyes. "It was you! I'm so sorry," she wept. "I'm so sorry. Monica approached Sandy and put her arms around her. "It wasn't your fault," she said. "I'm going to be fine. It wasn't your fault," she repeated as she looked into Sandy's eyes. "You were not responsible for his actions.  You're doing a wonderful job with your children. You should be proud." Sandy was touched by the kindness of Monica and Johnny. She felt like she had made two new and dear friends. She had to get back to the hospital. The nurses were keeping an eye on Susie for her. Sandy gave them each a hug and left wiping tears from her eyes. "I feel so awful," said Monica. "How could people put Sandy and her children through that? Didn't anyone take something positive from all of this?" asked Monica. Johnny smiled. She sounded like Father Mike, looking for the good in all things. Then he remembered the box he had tucked in the closet when he came to clean the cabin. He asked Monica to sit on the couch and he went to retrieve it. Monica watched him with a confused look on her face. Johnny came back with a large box that he placed on the floor in front of her. "When we talked about your accident the other day I'm afraid I focused on all the negative points. The day it happened Father Mike told me that good comes out of every situation. I didn't really understand what he meant then. But now I see that this accident helped me to realize my feelings for you and now you're realizing your feelings for me. That is the most wonderful thing that happened. But there was something else," he said as he began to open the box. Monica looked into the box. It was filled with mail, hundreds of pieces of mail. "What is this?" Monica asked. "This box is full of all the letters and cards people sent to you after the accident. There was a lot of news coverage. People were so upset by what had happened, they wanted to do something to show their support. They sent flowers to the hospital and the station and they sent these cards and letters. We saved them for you to read when you got better," Johnny said smiling. Monica couldn't speak. She couldn't believe that people would take the time to do this. Johnny picked up a pile cards and sat down on the couch next to Monica. He began opening the mail and read it to her. When he looked over, she had tears running down her cheeks. Johnny put down the mail and put his arms around her.  He held her gently and she cried. She cried because she was so touched by the love expressed in these messages. She cried because she felt she didn't deserve this attention. Johnny was moved by her reaction. She was so humbled by this experience. He fell in love with her all over again.    Johnny and Monica made the most of their last two days at the cabin. Jimmy came home on Friday afternoon. They went over to see him. Sandy said Jimmy had told everyone in the hospital about the fireman who had saved his life. He had even learned a few new jokes from the kids in pediatrics that he shared with everyone. Sandy, Johnny, and Monica had tears in their eyes they were laughing so hard at his delivery. Jimmy needed to rest, so they left, but promised to stop by before they went back to L.A. on Sunday. Then Johnny drove Monica to some of the prettiest spots he knew in the area. He enjoyed sharing them with her. In all the years he had been going up here, he had never brought anyone else, not even Roy.  Johnny stopped at a little restaurant and got them some lunch. There was a view of the lake from the dining room. It was a perfect spot for a quiet meal. Johnny decided he should bring Monica back to the cabin to rest. He didn't want to wear her out. When they got back to the cabin he suggested that she lay down. He covered her with a blanket and she reached up and gave him a hug. "Thank you for today," she said. "It was wonderful." Johnny kissed her head and made her promise to sleep then he left the room and closed the door behind him. He made dinner while Monica slept. It had gotten chilly after dark, so he built a fire. When Monica woke up she came into the living room and took in the scene. A beautiful fire, candle light at the table, and Johnny cooking at the stove. It all seemed too good to be true. Was it possible that she was lucky enough to find two wonderful men in her lifetime? She wondered what she had done to be so fortunate. Johnny turned to see her standing there. He was taken by how lovely she looked in the candle light. Her auburn hair was short now since her surgery, but it was still very feminine. Her warm, brown eyes always had a smile lurking behind them. Her skin was still pale, but almost glowed by the light of the fire. He felt like the luckiest man on earth. He couldn't believe how close he had come to losing her. He knew he wanted to make the most of every moment they were fortunate enough to have together. They both enjoyed the dinner Johnny made. After dinner they sat by the fire and talked and laughed. They were beginning to feel more comfortable with their new relationship. They were enjoying getting to know each other in a new way. Saturday was their last day. Johnny wanted Monica to get as much rest as possible because he knew the picnic at Roy's the next day while enjoyable, would also be tiring for her. She slept late. When she got up she showered and dressed. Johnny was out on the porch lost in thought. She went out to join him. The view was so wonderful. The sun was shining off the water and the current was flowing lazily downstream. The sky was bright blue. "Now that's something you don't get to see in L.A.," Monica said. Johnny turned and smiled at her. He had been thinking the very same thing.    Johnny reached out and pulled her closer until she was sitting on his lap. "Good morning," he said. "Did you sleep well?" "Yes I did thank you, how about you?" Monica asked. "I slept like a rock. I always do up here." Johnny answered. "I hope you got enough rest this week. This was your vacation too," Monica said concerned about Johnny always taking care of her. He had been through so much since her accident and he had been so unfailing in his support. She knew her recovery was largely due to him. "I had the best vacation I have ever had in my life," Johnny said as he pulled her close and kissed her. "Me too," said Monica as she looked at him tenderly. "Thank you Johnny." They spent the rest of the day just enjoying the scenery and enjoying each other's company. After dinner that evening they sat by the fire reflecting on the week's events. Then they went outside to see the stars. It was chilly and Johnny put one of his sweaters from the closet around her. He pointed out the constellations. Monica was amazed at how much she was learning about him. As well as she thought she had gotten to know him over the years, she realized there were pockets of himself that he kept hidden. She was so happy that he wanted to share them with her now.  The next morning as hard as it was, it was time to head back to L.A. Johnny and Monica stopped to say goodbye one more time to Sandy, Susie, and Jimmy. Johnny brought her some of the leftover food they had. Jimmy was especially grateful for the chocolate chip cookies. "I'm sure we will be back again this summer," said Johnny. Sandy gave them each a hug and thanked them again for saving Jimmy. E!E!E!E!E! It was almost 2 o'clock on Sunday afternoon. Joanne and Roy were looking out the window watching for Johnny and Monica to arrive. Joanne seemed on edge all day. She was jumpy. Her whole day seemed to revolve around Monica and Johnny's arrival. At first Roy thought she was just anxious to see her friend. But now it seemed to be more than that. "They're here!" Joanne shouted, sounding like a child who had just spotted Santa Claus. Johnny pulled the Rover in front of the house. He walked around to help Monica out. Joanne was watching intently from the living room window. Johnny opened the door and instead of putting out his hand for Monica to hold as she got out, he put his hands around her waist and almost lifted her out. She smiled and put her head on his chest playfully. It was very brief. It could have easily been missed by the untrained eye. "Oh my God!" Joanne said, clutching Roy's forearm. "It happened!" she squealed. "What happened?" said Roy, but she had already started for the back door to tell the guests that Johnny and Monica had arrived. Joanne came out back waving to get everyone's attention. Then she signaled for everyone to be quiet. A moment later, Johnny and Monica came around to the back yard. "Surprise!" everyone shouted. Johnny smiled. He was so happy he hadn't done anything to spoil the surprise ahead of time. He had to catch himself several times in the last week from letting the secret out. Monica was stunned. She stood frozen for a moment. She felt tears come to her eyes and she turned away and put her head on Johnny's shoulder. After a moment to regain her composure she turned and smiled at the crowd. She took Johnny's hand and squeezed it, and then she left Johnny's side and proceeded to greet everyone who was present. Jennifer ran up to Monica first. "Aunt Monica, I missed you," she said as she gave Monica a giant hug that almost knocked Monica off her feet. She recovered her balance and knelt down to meet the little girl at eye level. "Oh, I missed you too Jennifer." Then she looked over to Chris who was standing aside waiting to be included. "And you too Chris," Monica brought him closer for a group hug. "Do you know that the pictures and cards you sent made me feel so much better, that Dr. Brackett said they were better than all the hospital's medicine?" Jennifer and Chris smiled feeling proud they had done something to help.   Their mom and dad were always going to the hospital to help and sometimes they felt left out. But now they knew they had been just as important in helping Aunt Monica get better. Monica turned her attention to Chet who was closest to her. Chet gave her a hug and looked at her closely. "Monica I'm glad to see you came back in one piece. I was worried, what with you spending a whole week with Gage." Chet looked for his favorite pigeon's reaction. But Johnny was too happy to let Chet bother him today. Monica talked with everyone, Captain and Marie Stanley, Mike and Connie Stoker, Marco, and Dr. Brackett and Dixie. Roy came over to see the guest of honor. "Roy, thank you so much. This is wonderful," she said. "You look great, it is good to see you away from that hospital," Roy said. "I won't take that the wrong way," Dr. Brackett said laughing. Joanne was next in line. "It's so good to see you. You look much better. Johnny must have taken good care of you," Joanne said. "Yes, he did. It was a wonderful week," Monica said with a slight blush in her cheek. Joanne took the opportunity to take Monica inside while she got the food ready for the grill. Once inside, Joanne sat Monica down at the kitchen table and got her a cold drink. "So, did anything interesting happen this week?" Joanne asked. She would have liked to have been more subtle, but she had to hear it from Monica or she'd burst. "Yes, as a matter of fact it did," said Monica. Joanne almost dropped the plate she was carrying to the counter. She had to compose herself and appear nonchalant. "Oh really, what?" she asked in a calm voice. "Well Johnny did something wonderful," Monica continued. Joanne was about to burst. "He saved a little boy who was drowning," said Monica. "Oh, that's great," said Joanne feeling ashamed that she was a little disappointed. "It was so amazing. After CPR the little boy came back and he's fine now. He was out of the hospital by Friday." "That's really nice," said Joanne. "Did anything else happen?" Joanne was sure she was right about Johnny and Monica. Something must have happened up there. She could see it in their eyes. "Well," Monica began. "There was something else." Joanne stopped what she was doing and went over to sit next to Monica. "Once the little boy was on his way to the hospital, Johnny and I were really happy and we gave each other a hug," Monica hesitated not sure how to continue. "Suddenly, we were looking in each other's eyes," she hesitated again. "The next thing I knew we were kissing," she got a far off look as she remembered the moment. "It took me totally by surprise. I never saw it coming. Johnny explained that he had realized he had feelings for me after the accident. Over the next couple days we just kept getting closer. I've been so happy. I can't believe it took all this time for us to find each other." Joanne had tears in her eyes when she got up to give Monica a hug. "That is the most wonderful news I've heard in a long time. You two are perfect for each other."   Outside the men of Engine 51 and Dr. Brackett had a softball game going for Chris and Jennifer. Marie Stanley, Connie Stoker, and Dixie sat at the picnic table watching and cheering them on. Roy was heating the grill so it would be ready when Joanne brought out the food. Johnny was standing next to him. "Can I get you something to drink Johnny, a beer?" asked Roy. "No thanks Roy, I'm driving Monica home." Johnny replied. Roy took a long look at Johnny. "She just got out of the hospital, I'm not going to drink and drive her around," explained Johnny. "I'm not questioning your reason for sobriety Johnny. I'm just wondering if there is another motivation?" said Roy. Johnny looked around to be sure no one else was within ear shot. Then he started to smile. "Roy, the most incredible thing happened. Well first a terrible thing happened, but then it was okay, then an incredible thing happened." Johnny could see that he had lost Roy entirely, so he explained.  "My neighbor's little boy was drowning. I pulled him out of the lake. Monica and I gave him CPR and he came back. After they took him to the hospital we were so happy we gave each other a hug. The next thing we knew we were kissing. I can't believe how lucky I am." Roy was smiling ear to ear. "Johnny. That's the best news I've ever heard!" "I was thinking about you this last week and wondering if anything would happen. And Monica's happy?" he asked. "Yea Roy, she is. It was a little strange at first, because we've known each other so long. But we're starting to feel more comfortable," Johnny answered. Joanne came out with a tray full of food for Roy to cook. Monica followed behind. Johnny walked her over to the picnic table to sit with the other ladies then he joined the game already in progress. "Well, it looks like they're playing my song said Roy as he took the tray from Joanne.  Joanne wasn't paying attention to him; she was looking in Johnny and Monica's direction and smiling. "So that's what "It happened" meant," he said with a smile. Joanne turned to Roy, realizing he must know too. She smiled and gave him a hug and a kiss. Then she left him to his work and went to watch the game with her guests. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny and Monica returned to the cabin a few times that summer. Jimmy was doing well. He, Sandy, and Susie were always glad when their new friends came up to visit. By the Fall, Monica was almost completely recovered. But her right leg wasn't healing as well as it should. She continued to have a lot of pain at times and wasn't able to do as much as she would have liked. Dr. Brackett asked her if she would like to teach the upcoming paramedic class. Monica jumped at the chance to do something constructive. She missed feeling useful. She visited the station from time to time. It was always good to see everyone, but she often left feeling depressed even though she didn't let anyone know. Not even Johnny. Over the summer everyone found out that Johnny and Monica had become a couple. Dixie reacted with an "I knew it!" when Johnny talked to her at the hospital one day. The guys from the station asked Johnny what had taken him so long? Chet hung his head and sighed, "That poor girl, what did she do to deserve Gage?" He was really only kidding. Chet was as happy as anyone about the news. The paramedic class went well. It finished just before Christmas. Monica was surprised at how much she had enjoyed teaching. Everyone in the class was bright and enthusiastic. She was sure they would do well in the field. Johnny had arranged to take Monica to the cabin on Christmas Eve. He was on duty until 8 AM Christmas Eve morning. It was A shift's turn to have the holiday off. The year before Johnny and Monica worked together on the squad, so Roy could be home with his family. Neither of them had minded. Christmas was a slow day, and neither of them had plans. Monica, Dixie, and Dr. Brackett were attending the graduation ceremony on Christmas Eve for the new paramedics at fire department headquarters. Monica remembered her own graduation with Jim in the audience smiling as she received her certificate. She still missed him so much sometimes. But she knew that was all right. She would always love him, but he would want her to be happy. And she was happy. She and Johnny were happier than they had ever been. Monica attended the reception after the ceremony. Dr. Brackett and Dixie had to return to the hospital. Johnny was going to pick her up at headquarters around three. She mingled with her students and their families. She enjoyed meeting the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, who had supported these paramedics through their training. Johnny had said he had some errands to run after his shift was over and wanted to pick up some supplies for the cabin. They were only staying two days, so he said he wouldn't be long. He arrived around three and went inside to find Monica. He almost bumped into Chief McConnike as he rounded the corner from the room where the reception was being held. "Excuse me sir," Johnny said. Johnny was in street clothes, but the chief knew he looked familiar. "Gage isn't it?" he asked. Johnny was a little surprised the chief remembered him. "Yes sir, John Gage from County 51," Johnny replied. "It's good to see you Gage," he said. "When you see Captain Stanley tell him Santa is leaving a hat for him this Christmas," he said followed by a sinister laugh. "Yes sir," Johnny said as the chief walked away. What was it with those two and that hat, Johnny wondered? Johnny went to the reception room. He felt out of place in jeans and a cotton button down shirt. The graduates were in full dress uniform and their families were dressed for the occasion. He spotted Monica across the room. She was having her picture taken with one of the graduates and her family. Monica wore her dress uniform. Her hair was pulled back in a twist.  It had grown to almost shoulder length now.  Johnny hadn't seen her in uniform for such a long time. It brought back a lot of memories. He smiled looking at her. She looked so happy. She was so gracious to the graduates and their families. He was glad she had found a way to be part of the department again. Even though she never said it, he knew she hated being away from Station 51. Johnny took Monica back to her house. She changed and picked up her things. They started up to the cabin around four. It had snowed in the mountains the week before, and they were calling for more snow that night. They were both looking forward to a white Christmas, which would hardly be possible in L.A. They pulled up to the cabin around six. It was already getting dark. Monica noticed a strange glow in the window. She turned to point it out to Johnny, but he was already out of the Rover. He came around the car and opened the door for her. They walked up the path onto the porch and Johnny unlocked the door and opened it. Then he stepped back to let Monica go in first.  Monica couldn't believe her eyes, in one corner of the living room stood a large Christmas tree. It was decorated with white lights and shiny silver and gold ornaments. There were fresh cut roses scattered throughout the tree. Everywhere she looked there were roses. There were vases of them on the tables. There was a large bunch tied in a bow on the mantel. There were candles lit all over the room and there was a large fire in the fireplace. She didn't know it, but Johnny had conspired with Sandy and her little "elves" next door to have everything ready when they arrived. As Monica stood there, taking in the scene, Johnny walked in front of her and bent down on one knee. He pulled a small box from his shirt pocket. He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Monica, six months ago today, we fell in love in this cabin. I have never been happier than I have been these last six months. I love you very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Monica's eyes were filled with tears. "Yes Johnny," she said. "Yes." Johnny stood up and put the ring on her finger. Then he bent down and kissed her. They stood in the cabin in the glow of the fire with the beautiful scent of roses and it began to snow. E!E!E!E!E! They both woke up early on Christmas morning. Johnny was in the kitchen making coffee. Monica came up behind him and hugged him around the waist and rested her head on his back. Johnny turned and smiled and gave her a kiss. Then took her hand and walked toward the front door. He grabbed a blanket from the couch on the way. He wrapped it around her shoulders and opened the front door. Monica gasped at the sight. It had snowed at least six inches during the night. Everywhere she looked there was a thick blanket of snow. The trees were covered. The lake was partially frozen. The sunrise was coloring everything a soft pink. It was so quiet they could almost hear their heartbeats. The air was cold and crisp and clean. "Oh Johnny, I've never seen anything so beautiful," she said trying to take it all in. "Neither have I," he said, but his eyes were on her. "I haven't seen a white Christmas in ages. Not since I was a little girl when I lived on the east coast." said Monica. Monica had been born on the east coast. She was an only child. He father was transferred to California when she was eleven years old. It had been so hard for her to leave her friends and the only home she had ever known. It took some time, but eventually she grew to love L.A. Her father had died of a sudden heart attack when she was in high school. When she was in nursing school, her mother was diagnosed with cancer and died six months later. "This brings back so many wonderful memories Johnny. Thank you so much." Johnny held her tight and kissed her head. When they went back inside, Monica went over to the Christmas tree. "I think Santa left you something last night," she giggled as she pulled a box out from under the tree. She sat next to Johnny on the couch anxiously watching him unwrap the present. It was a beautiful new watch. The band was silver and gold and it had gold face. "It's beautiful," he said. "I haven't had a new watch in years." "Look on the back," Monica said smiling. Johnny carefully took the watch out of the box and turned it around to the back. There was an inscription "Look for the good in all things, Love Monica" Johnny was touched. "It's perfect," he said. They kissed and held each other for a long time. In the afternoon Johnny and Monica went over to visit Sandy, Jimmy, and Susie. "So, I hear Johnny got some help from Santa's elves?" Monica smiled. "Thank you so much, everything was beautiful," she said giving them each a hug and showed them her engagement ring. "Oh it's lovely," said Sandy. Sandy had them sit down and she brought out hot chocolate and cookies. Jimmy and Susie showed Johnny and Monica everything Santa had brought them. Johnny and Monica had presents of their own to distribute. They had joke book and a fire engine for Jimmy. He loved them both. Ever since Johnny had pulled him out of the water, he was fascinated with firefighters. And he was really excited about being able to learn some new jokes to entertain the kids at school after Christmas break. He really liked his new school. He was becoming very popular because he was so funny. They gave Susie a baby doll and a little coach for her to walk her. Susie spent much of the time they were visiting taking care of her new baby. Later she told Sandy that she had named the doll Monica. They wanted to give Sandy something special. Sandy had told Monica how much she loved to paint when she was growing up. She said that she hadn't painted since Jimmy was born. So they got her everything she needed to get started painting again. Sandy started to cry when she saw her gift. "Thank you so much, this is a wonderful present. I can't wait to get started!" They all had Christmas dinner together. It was a lot of fun. Jimmy had studied several turkey jokes to amuse his audience. Sandy made a wonderful Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. After dinner Sandy and Monica worked on cleaning up, while Johnny helped Jimmy and Susie with some of their new toys which needed to be assembled. "I'm so glad Johnny is here to help. I can't figure those directions out. I usually end up with extra pieces," Sandy laughed. It was starting to get dark. Johnny and Monica knew Sandy and the kids must be tired. "It was a wonderful day Sandy, thank you," said Johnny. "Do you have to go Johnny?" Jimmy asked. "I do, but remember, as soon as the weather gets nice, I'm giving you swimming lessons," said Johnny. "I can't wait!" said Jimmy. "I'm going to be the best swimmer ever!" Susie reached out to give them both a hug goodbye. Then she had them both say goodbye to her new baby. Sandy gave her friends a hug. "Remember if you need anything give us a call. We'll keep in touch. And thank you again for last night," said Johnny. "It was a pleasure," said Sandy. When they got back to the cabin, Monica stopped and began gathering snow. "What are you doing?" Johnny asked. "You can't be here with this much snow and not build a snowman," Monica stated matter of factly. "When I was little one of my favorite things was to go out in the snow at night. There's a special quiet in the air and the moon light shines off the snow. It's magical," she said as she continued her work. Johnny smiled and started to help. They built a life size snowman in front of the porch. They didn't have anything to use for a nose or eyes, so they just carved them into the snow. They stood back to admire their work. Then Johnny picked Monica up and swung her around and kissed her.  It had been the most wonderful Christmas either of them could remember. The next day they were expected at the DeSoto's. Monica helped Johnny take the decorations off the tree. She saved some of the roses to bring home. The rest she put in two bunches, one for Sandy and one for Joanne. Johnny put the tree outside. As much as they hated to go, they had to get back. It was going to be fun to tell Roy and Joanne the good news. Johnny had actually managed to keep this secret from Roy. He didn't want to take any chances of Monica finding out ahead of time. He knew Roy couldn't keep news like that from Joanne, and Joanne would probably burst if she knew. They said goodbye again to Sandy and the kids, and started back to L.A. E!E!E!E!E! Chris and Jennifer were waiting at the door when they drove up. They ran out the front door and ambushed the two as they got out of the Rover. "Merry Christmas you two," Monica said as she hugged the children. Then Johnny got his turn at hugs. They all headed up to the front door where Roy and Joanne were waiting. Everyone hugged and kissed. Johnny put down the presents they had brought with them. When things had settled a little, Johnny got everyone's attention so he could make an announcement. He held Monica's hand in his as he began, "I don't know if it was the Christmas spirit or if it was too cold up the mountains for her and she couldn't think straight, but Monica agreed to marry me," Johnny said with a smile. "Oh my God," said Joanne as she got closer to give them each a hug and look at the engagement ring. "So, you're finally taking the plunge Junior," said Roy as he gave Johnny a good natured pat on the back. Then he gave Monica a hug and a kiss. "I think it's wonderful," he whispered in her ear. Chris and Jennifer didn't quite understand all the excitement. "Aunt Monica and Uncle Johnny are getting married," said Joanne seeing their confusion. "Mommy, now are you and Daddy going to tell them our secret?" Jennifer asked. "Jennifer, didn't Mommy tell you not to say anything until Mommy and Daddy did?" "What's going on?" Johnny asked looking at Roy and Joanne. "Well Johnny, Joanne and I have some news ourselves. We're having a baby!" said Roy with a grin. "Oh Joanne, that's wonderful! How do you feel?" said Monica as she hugged her friend.  "Well, I'm getting over the morning sickness for the day and I'm feeling really good." "Roy, that's incredible," said Johnny giving Roy a friendly hug. "When did you guys find out?" asked Johnny. "Well, we've known for a couple weeks," said Roy. "It looks like you're not the only one who can keep a secret Junior," Roy said laughing. The Desotos and the Gages-to-be had a wonderful time together. They exchanged presents and had a wonderful meal. They talked about all the work that would need to be done to prepare for both big events. Johnny and Roy offered to clear the table and wash the dishes. Roy wanted Joanne to rest and Johnny could tell that Monica's leg was bothering her. When Johnny brought Monica home that night he sat with her on the couch and they talked about how happy Roy and Joanne seemed about their new arrival. They even talked about how they would like children of their own someday. Monica started to fall asleep in Johnny's arms. Johnny helped her up to bed. When she saw how late it was she insisted that Johnny stay in the guest room. He was on duty in the morning. It would be silly for him to drive all the way home when she lived much closer to the station. Johnny accepted. He was tired and he knew he would feel better being here with Monica. He worried about her being alone all the time. Now that she was going to be his wife, he felt even more need to protect her. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny and Monica set the wedding date for June. They got it as close as possible to the anniversary of the day they fell in love together. That day in the mountains, after they knew Jimmy was going to be all right, when they kissed for the first time. Roy and Johnny had both decided that it would be a good time to take the Captain's exam. Roy was going to have another mouth to feed, and Johnny might find himself in the same position in the near future. It felt like the time was right. There was a big celebration when they passed. Now they needed to wait for their new assignments. Monica's leg never healed well enough for her to return to Station 51. She was devastated knowing that part of her career was over. But she was also too grateful to be alive and to be in love with Johnny to let it crush her. The department had promoted her and assigned her to head the paramedic training program. The numbers of paramedics in L.A. were growing rapidly and the surrounding counties and rural areas also needed a place to send their recruits to be trained properly. She also provided special training to existing paramedics in new techniques. She sometimes traveled from Station to Station to give the additional training. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny had asked Roy to be his best man. By June they had both been reassigned to their new stations. Roy was captain of B shift at Station 39. Johnny was captain of C shift at Station 8 where he had started his career. Chet, Marco, and Mike were the groomsmen. Joanne who was now seven months pregnant was Monica's matron of honor. Dixie, Marie Stanley, and Connie Stoker were bridesmaids. Jennifer was very proud to be the flower girl and Christopher felt very important being the ring bearer. Captain Stanley had agreed to give the bride away. The weather was warm and sunny the morning of the wedding. All of Johnny and Monica's friends were there. Sandy, Susie, and Jimmy had driven to L. A. for the occasion. Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early, Dr. Morton, and even Dr. Craig and his wife were there. Chief McConnike, Charlie Dwyer, and Craig Brice were just some of the members of the department in attendance. The wedding was held in St Francis of Assisi church, Father Mike's parish. Father Mike was delighted to perform the ceremony. Since fire service had brought them together, Monica and Johnny thought it would be nice if the men wore their dress uniforms instead of tuxedos. Johnny and Roy were in the sacristy with Father Mike waiting for the guests to be seated. Johnny wasn't nervous at all. After all he had been through following Monica's accident, he was just too happy that this day had come. The bridesmaids were waiting in the back of the church. They wore pale pink ankle length dresses with matching shoes. They carried a bouquet of pale pink and white roses. Jennifer felt like princess in her long pale pink dress. The skirt puffed out and she carried a white whicker basket full of rose petals. She had been practicing for weeks at home with small pieces of paper. Christopher wore a dark suit and tie. He carried a white pillow with rings attached to a pink satin bow. Captain Stanley was placed in charge of getting the bride to church on time. All the ladies from the bridal party had gotten ready at Monica's house. They each had a part in getting the bride ready too. They left for the church first, driven by Dr. Brackett. Captain Stanley arrived and rang Monica's door bell. When she opened the door he had to catch his breath. She looked lovely.  Monica wore an off white colored dress. It had short sleeves and a scoop neck. There was a wide pale pink satin ribbon around the waist and a dainty bow tied in the back. The skirt of the dress was full much like Jennifer's. Her hair was pulled back in a bun and she had a crown of small pale pink and white roses on her head from which a waist length veil was attached. She carried a large bouquet of pink and white roses. Captain Stanley just stood and stared at her. In all the years he had known her he had never seen her look so beautiful. "What's wrong Cap, you weren't expecting me to wear my dress uniform too, were you?" she giggled. "You look beautiful Monica. Now how would you like a ride to the church? I know this new Captain who would love to see you," he said as he offered her his arm. Everyone was anxiously awaiting the bride's arrival. Chet, Marco, and Mike had seated all the guests and taken their place in the front of the church. The doors to the back of the church were closed to prevent anyone from getting a glimpse of the bride when she arrived. When Captain Stanley pulled up, Christopher opened the door a crack and gave Chet the signal they had worked out before hand. Chet went back to tell Johnny it was time. "Well, this is it Gage. I just want you to know, the Phantom sends his best wishes. He would have come, but he didn't think it would be appropriate. After all, he likes Monica. He wouldn't want to do anything to spoil her day." "Well tell the phantom, I said thanks Chet. Let's go gentlemen," Johnny said with a smile. After Johnny, Roy and Father Mike had taken their places the organist began playing the entrance hymn. The doors to the back of the church opened. Connie Stoker was the first down the aisle followed by Marie Stanley, and Dixie. Then Joanne walked down the aisle followed by Christopher and then Jennifer. Jennifer was beaming as she past the guests and carefully spread the rose petals for the bride to walk upon. Then after a brief moment the organist began the bridal march. All the guests stood and turned for their first glimpse of the bride. Captain Stanley appeared in the doorway with Monica on his arm. Johnny was stunned at how beautiful she was. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Any bad memories he had of the accident melted with each step she took. All he could think of was how much he loved her and how lucky he was to be there in this moment. Monica smiled at the sight of all of their friends who had come to share their happiness. She looked at Johnny standing on the altar looking so handsome. She said a silent prayer of thanks for the blessing she had received. She almost thought she could hear Jim saying he was happy for her. She fought back tears of happiness. When they arrived at the altar, Captain Stanley gave her hand to Captain Gage. Monica gave Captain Stanley a kiss on the cheek and stepped onto the altar to become Johnny's wife. After Monica and Johnny had recited their vows, Father Mike took a moment to speak to the congregation. "I would like to tell all of you something that I told John a long time ago. I have seen many couples in my time. Many who didn't belong together and many who shared a lifetime of happiness. I believe these two young people fall into the second category. And to Johnny and Monica, whatever happens as you journey through life always remember to look for the good in all things. Now young man, you may kiss the bride." Johnny bent down and kissed Monica tenderly. The congregation let out with cheers and applause. But Johnny and Monica were only aware of each other. As if they were completely alone, the way they were the first time they kissed in the mountains. After all it had taken to find each other, they knew they would never let go. They had been fortunate to have a near tragedy transform into a triumph of love.   Feedback for Maura   return to main page