Look for the Good in All Things by Maura Squad 51, man down 563 Brighton Road, Five, Six, Three Brighton Road, cross street Lewis, time out 0914. "Squad 51, 10-4, KMG 365," Captain Stanley responded then handed the call slip to Johnny who was driving the squad today. Roy was taking a vacation day. Vacation, Captain Stanley thought about how amusing that sounded. What Roy was really doing was catching up on the Honey -Do list that had been building up for months. He had been promising Joanne he would take a vacation day, just to work around the house. He's probably wishing he was working a brush fire about now mused Captain Stanley as he headed back to his office. Johnny sat in the driver's seat. Since Roy was out, he was senior member of the squad. Monica Street was his only partner today. She had come to the station 8 years ago. She, Roy, and Johnny had worked together ever since. Johnny enjoyed working with her. She was a good paramedic and firefighter and she was easy to get along with. The three even socialized a lot when they were off duty. Monica had been left a widow 6 years earlier. Her husband Jim Street was a policeman who was killed in the line of duty. "LA Squad 51 at scene." Squad 51. Johnny and Monica grabbed the biophone, drug box and trauma kit from the squad. They would come back for any additional equipment if needed. But this was enough to treat almost anything. A woman came to the front door and waived them into the house. "He's in here," she said. "It's my husband. He was going down the basement stairs. He must have slipped. He thinks his leg is broken," the woman was breathless from running up the stairs to meet them. Johnny headed down the stairs first. Monica stopped at the top, "Can you stay here mam and listen for the ambulance?" Seeing the fear in the woman's eyes Monica put her arm around the woman's shoulders. "We're going to take good care of him." She smiled and her soft gentle voice had a calming effect on the frightened woman. Monica then headed down the steps to help Johnny. "Mr. Henderson, this is my partner, Monica Street." "Hello Mr. Henderson," Monica said as she opened the biophone to establish contact with Rampart. Johnny began examining the man for injuries. He appeared to have a fractured left fibula. He was in a lot of pain. Johnny checked for additional injuries, while Monica began getting vital signs. "Pulse 120, respirations 28," Monica relayed to her partner. Then she wrapped the BP cuff around Mr. Henderson's arm as Johnny pulled out his penlight to check the patient's pupils. "140/90," Monica stated then she picked up the biophone. "Rampart, this is Squad 51." "Go ahead 51," Dixie McCall the head nurse responded. "Rampart, we have a male victim of a fall down basement stairs. He is approximately 55 years old. He appears to have a fractured left fibula."  "Left pupil is slightly dilated," Johnny relayed. "No bleeding from the ears or nose. Mr. Henderson, did you bump your head when you fell?" Johnny asked. "I think I did on one of the steps as I was going down," said Mr. Henderson.  Johnny began to examine the man's head for any swelling. He shook his head no. "Rampart, the victim reports striking his head on the stairs while falling. The left pupil is slightly dilated. The right pupil is normal. There are no signs of bleeding from ears or nose. The patient is conscious and coherent at this time." "Stand by 51," Dixie responded. Dr. Joe Early was approaching the base station. "What's up Dix?" "It's 51 Joe," then she handed him the notes from the case. Dr. Early read through the information, "51 start an IV with D5W and splint the leg. No pain medication until we evaluate the head injury. Is there an ambulance at the scene?" he inquired. "10-4 Rampart, the ambulance just arrived," reported Monica. "51 continue to monitor vitals and perform neuro checks during transport." "10-4 Rampart," Monica started the IV, while Johnny splinted the left leg. Mrs. Henderson directed the ambulance attendants to the basement. As they moved Mr. Henderson to the ambulance, Monica explained his condition to his wife. "We are bringing him to Rampart General, you can ride in the ambulance if you would like," she said. "No, my son is on his way here. He can take me," she said seeming a little calmer knowing that her husband was in good hands. "All right then," Monica said as she gave two raps on the ambulance door to signal it was okay to go. Then she headed back to the squad. She closed the compartment doors and headed into the driver's seat to follow the ambulance. The squad followed with lights and sirens. Cars pulled to the side of the road to allow the ambulance and squad through. They approached the intersection of 4th and Maple. They had a green light and the ambulance proceeded through. Johnny looked up from Mr. Henderson and glanced out the back window of the ambulance. He heard the loud squeal of tires and watched in horror as a car ran through a red light and smashed into the passenger side of the squad. He saw the squad lurch into the oncoming traffic and slam into a telephone pole. "Stop the ambulance!" he shouted. He grabbed the biophone. "Rampart this is squad 51" "Go ahead 51", Dr. Early said. "Rampart Squad 51 has been involved in a traffic accident at 4th and Maple. The ambulance was not involved. Please notify the fire department to dispatch an engine and an additional squad and ambulance to this location. Request permission to leave victim 1 with ambulance personnel while I assist." "10-4 51."   Dixie was already on the phone before Joe had responded. After informing the fire department, they both stood next to the base station wishing they could do something to help. Roy said he was taking today off, thought Dixie. It must be Monica. Her heart beat faster at the thought of her friend in trouble. Johnny wouldn't have asked for all the extra assistance if it had only been a fender bender. It must be serious. Johnny jumped from the ambulance and ran toward the squad. He couldn't believe his eyes. The mangled wreckage in front of him was red, but that was almost the only recognizable feature to the squad. Monica! Engine 51, Squad 49, traffic accident involving Squad 51 at 4th and Maple. Time out 10:02. Ambulance is responding. "Engine 51, 10-4, KMG 365."Chet, Marco and Mike ran to the engine. Captain Stanley climbed into his seat and the men hurried to the scene. The squad. Was it Johnny and Monica? Or just one? Captain Stanley didn't like to think of either scenario. Johnny approached the cab of the squad. The right side of the cab had crumpled like paper. The windshield was shattered so badly he couldn't see inside. He went towards the driver's side. Then he saw Monica. She was unconscious, trapped behind the steering wheel. He couldn't get to her to check for a pulse. The driver's side door was crushed against the telephone pole. She was very pale. Bobby Sherman an EMT with the LA County Sheriff's department was just a couple blocks away from the accident scene, when he heard the call for the fire department. He decided to go to assist. He notified dispatch of his location. When he arrived he saw the ambulance and Johnny by the driver's side of the squad.  "Johnny, do you need help?" Johnny turned to see Bobby. Johnny could hear the engine sirens getting closer. "Yea Bobby, can you check on the patient in the ambulance? He has a left leg fracture and a possible concussion." Johnny suddenly became aware of the police surrounding the car that hit the squad. An officer was putting a tarp over the car, a sign that the other victim was dead. Engine 51 pulled up. Captain Stanley jumped out and approached Johnny. "Cap, she's trapped in there. That car plowed into the passenger side doing about 60 and sent her into the oncoming traffic. Then she slammed into this telephone pole. She's unconscious. I can't get to her. The door is blocked." "Chet get a reel line and check for a fuel leak. Marco, come with me so we can check this out." Captain Stanley had to fight the sick feeling he had as he took in the scene. The squad was a pile of crushed red steel. When he looked into the driver's side window, he could see Monica pinned against the steering wheel. She was so pale. Squad 49 arrived. Craig Brice and Charlie Dwyer removed their equipment and came over to the squad. "Marco, I think we are going to have to cut off the roof to get to her." "Okay Cap." Marco ran to get the equipment they would need. Johnny stayed next to the cab. If only he could get to her. Monica started to come around. Thank God, she's alive, he thought. But his relief was short lived when she began to moan in pain. She grimaced and bit her lip.            "Monica we're going to get you out. We have to cut off the roof of the squad." Captain Stanley said. Then she closed her eyes and was unconscious again. Dr. Kelly Brackett the head of Rampart's Emergency Department, was on his way to the hospital when he found himself in a traffic jam. He looked impatiently at his watch. I have to get to the hospital by 11 for the meeting with the administrator, he thought. Then he heard sirens coming from behind. Engine 51 whisked past the line of cars. Followed by Squad 49. There must be an accident Kell thought. He pulled his car to the side of the road and got out and ran toward the scene. As he came to the intersection of 4th and Maple, he saw police standing next to a car that was draped with a tarp. I guess I'm too late, he thought. Then something caught his eye, a mangled vehicle to his left. It was red. Was it a squad? He ran to the firefighters huddled around the wreck. "Captain Stanley?" Captain Stanley turned from his work to see who had called. "Dr. Brackett." Johnny heard the name and looked up. "Doc, its Monica. She's pretty bad. We're going to have to cut off the roof to get her out. I can't get vitals. She is unconscious now. She was awake for a minute. She was in a lot of pain." Dr. Brackett looked into the cab. He could see her slumped at the steering wheel. He knew this was the "golden hour" and every minute they couldn't get to her was one minute too long. Chet had finished hosing down the scene. "There's no fuel leak Cap." Marco began cutting through the metal attaching the roof to the cab. Johnny stood by watching helplessly. Bobby saw Dr. Brackett. He came over to him and informed him of the situation in the ambulance. The patient was stable and neuro checks were good. Dr. Brackett gave Bobby permission to transport the patient to Rampart which was only 5 minutes away. E!E!E!E!E! Vince Howard had also seen Dr. Brackett arrive. "Dr. Brackett, our coroner is going to be delayed for about an hour. Would it be possible for you to "pronounce" the other victim?" Dr. Brackett knew that he meant, declare the other victim dead at the scene. Vince explained that the other driver was being chased by the police for robbing a bank and killing the manager. The suspect was traveling at a high rate of speed as he approached 4th and Maple. He swerved to avoid the ambulance in the intersection and lost control and hit the squad as it followed behind. Dr. Brackett approached the grim scene. It was clear that the suspect had suffered massive head trauma on impact. He confirmed the death and turned back to the squad. He said a silent prayer that he would not have to declare Monica dead. No. He couldn't think that way. They would get to her in time. Marco worked as quickly as possible, almost willing the metal to break apart before him. Finally, the last cut was complete. Then Chet, Marco, Mike, Captain Stanley, Brice, Dwyer and Johnny surrounded the cab and removed the roof and carried it off to the side. Johnny ran back to Monica. He checked for a pulse. It was there, but it was faint. Brice grabbed the BP cuff and stethoscope. "Pulse is 40 and weak," Johnny shouted to Dr. Brackett. Johnny looked at the steering wheel still pinning Monica. Captain Stanley directed Mike to use the jaws to move the steering wheel away from her. Monica began to regain consciousness. She was in a lot of pain. Her breathing was labored. She appeared to be going into shock. At Rampart, Dr. Early and Dixie were anxiously awaiting any news. Dixie realized they would have to tell Kell who would be in any minute for his meeting. "That's good Stoker. Okay I think we can get her now," shouted Captain Stanley above the motor of the jaws. "We'll need the back board and a cervical collar," said Dr. Brackett. Johnny and Brice worked quickly to immobilize Monica to prevent further injury. Dwyer got close enough to get another set of vitals. "Pulse 40 and thready, respirations 30 and labored, BP 80/50, she's unconscious again" he reported to Dr. Brackett. "Start an IV with D5W and draw a sample for type and cross." "Rampart this is squad 49." Dr. Early and Dixie jumped, startled out of the deafening silence and troubling images that were going through their minds. "Go ahead 49" "Rampart we have a female paramedic. Victim of a traffic accident. Dr. Brackett is on the scene." "10-4 49. Can you tell us about her condition?" "The patient is being extricated from the vehicle at this time. Pulse 40, respirations 30 and labored, BP 80/50. Victim is unconscious. No further information available." "10-4 49." Dr. Early and Dixie looked at each other. It was bad and every minute that went by could be the difference between life and death. At least Kell was there. He must have seen the accident on his way to the hospital. After Monica was immobilized they began to carefully remove her from the twisted cab of the squad. They gently placed her on the ground. Brice took a new set of vitals. Dr. Brackett began to examine her. Her abdomen was distended and firm. She must be bleeding internally. Her pupils were dilated, the right not responsive, a possible head injury. Her right femur was broken with the bone protruding through the skin. She had lost a lot of blood through the wound. Johnny had to force himself to forget this was his partner or he wouldn't be able to function. He began tending to the wounds of the "victim." The men from Engine 51 stood back to let Dr. Brackett and the paramedics do their jobs. But they were there in case they were needed for anything. Brice reached for Monica's wrist to obtain a pulse, "There's no pulse!" "Begin CPR," said Dr. Brackett. Dwyer grabbed the defibrillator and data scope and began to charge the paddles. Dr. Brackett took the paddles while Dwyer spread the gel. Dr. Brackett positioned the paddles as Brice called out, "One, two, three, four hundred watts." Dr. Brackett shouted, "Clear" and administered the voltage to his patient. He read the data scope. No conversion. "Continue CPR." Johnny jumped in and began chest compressions. Brice inserted an airway and administered oxygen. Dwyer administered the medications as Dr. Brackett ordered them. The defibrillator was recharged. "One, two, three, four, clear," shouted Dr. Brackett. All eyes watched the data scope waiting for a sign that her heart had restarted. Then a faint spike appeared, then another, then another. "Sinus rhythm," said Brice. "Fifty beats per minute." "Let's get her into the ambulance," said Dr. Brackett. Johnny fought back tears as he helped lift his partner into the ambulance. Dr. Brackett and Brice went with her. Captain Stanley suggested Johnny ride in with Dwyer seeing that Johnny was becoming unable to hold back his emotions. "Rampart this is squad 49 ETA four minutes. Be advised patient experienced cardiac arrest. Esophageal airway was established and patient is in normal sinus rhythm after defibrillating times two. Dr. Brackett is transporting with us." "10-4 49, we'll be waiting." Dr. Early and Dixie took a deep breath trying to steel themselves for Monica's arrival. They would have to be professional in order to give her the best treatment possible. There was no time for emotions. The men of Station 51 stood in silence watching the ambulance speed away, each saying a silent prayer for their friend. Chief McConnike approached Captain Stanley. "Hank I'll arrange to have relief for your crew. You go and return the engine to the station, then go to the hospital. I have some things to clear up with the police." Captain Stanley managed to utter, "Thank you chief." Then he gathered his men and headed to the engine. There was deafening silence when they returned to Station 51. Just two hours ago it was a usual day. Mike and Marco were in the kitchen drinking coffee. Chet was getting in his usual jabs at Johnny. Monica arrived and rescued Johnny from Chet by getting him to help check out the squad. They had roll call and Johnny chuckled when Chet was assigned latrine duty. Captain Stanley was in his office working on his daily paperwork when the call came in for the squad. He watched them leave and resumed his work. Just like any other shift. But it wasn't any other shift. One of his own was being rushed to the hospital in critical condition. A fellow fire fighter and a member of his crew. E!E!E!E!E! Captain Stanley remembered the day Monica arrived at the station. She had just graduated from the academy and completed the paramedic program as the first woman in LA County to become a firefighter paramedic. Headquarters had called him on a Friday to let him know she had been assigned to Station 51 and would be arriving Monday morning. They discussed making appropriate sleeping arrangements for her and for showering. But otherwise, she was to be treated the same as any other new firefighter graduate. The chief explained that Monica was to be assigned to the station indefinitely following her 90 day probation period. After careful consideration it had been decided that Station 51 would be the best place for the female graduate. It was a relatively new station. It was thought that it might be more difficult for her to fit into a well established station, where she would likely meet greater resistance from crew mates. Headquarters respected Captain Stanley as a fair man. They knew she would get the best chance to succeed there. The department was very interested in this new graduate. These were the 70's females in the fire department were an inevitable occurrence in today's society where women were struggling for equality with men. It would not look good for the department, if their first female graduate did not succeed due to prejudice within the department. Captain Stanley called his men together that Friday afternoon. He informed them of the situation. Chet groaned, "Come on cap, no girl can do this job. Are we gonna have to stop to help her over the puddles, so her boots don't get wet? And what if she breaks a nail in a burning building?" Johnny smiled. Then he looked at Captain Stanley who was giving his best "you twit" look. "Listen," Captain Stanley said. "This girl graduated from the same program you did. She was among the top in her class in the paramedic program. She is completely capable of doing this job, and doing it well," he added. "I do not expect to see anyone treating her any differently because she is a woman. She is going to be a member of our team. I fully expect her to be treated with respect. Is that understood?" "Yes Cap," Chet muttered. "Sure Cap," said Johnny. E!E!E!E!E! After having the weekend off A shift returned to duty on Monday morning. Johnny walked in the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee pot. Chet, Marco, Mike and Roy were all sitting at the table. Chet was reading the paper and sipping a cup of coffee. Marco and Mike were going over the grocery list for that night's dinner. Roy was just enjoying the quiet after a hectic morning at home. Johnny sat down at the table and reached for the plate of donuts Captain Stanley had brought in that morning. "Hey Gage save some for the lady!" Chet admonished. "What lady?" Johnny asked, his cheeks full of half the donut he had just shoved in. "You know," Chet continued. "Today the new paramedic starts." "I thought that was tomorrow," Johnny said checking the date on his watch. "No Gage, its today," Chet said. "Cap is in the office talking to her now." "So what do you think she's like?" Chet went on. "Well Cap said she graduated the academy near the top of her class," Marco said. "And she was top in the paramedic class," said Roy. "Yea, but she was an RN at St. Francis for a couple years," Johnny argued. "That doesn't mean she'll be any good in the field."  "She probably looks like the Incredible Hulk," Chet added to the mix. Johnny and Chet started to giggle. Roy didn't like where this was going. "Listen," Roy said. "We all talked about this and Cap warned everyone that we are to treat her the same as any other probie. She made it through the same training we did. She wasn't given any special treatment. If anything some guys probably made it harder on her," Roy said. "Yea, well ….. I just hope she can cook," Johnny said with a smile on his face. He expected some laughter from the group. But his remark was followed by an uncomfortable silence. He looked over at Roy whose eyes were focused just beyond Johnny's head. Marco, Mike, and Chet were also looking toward the doorway beyond Johnny. Oh no, Johnny thought. He just knew that Captain Stanley and the new probie must be standing there. He was hoping to be saved by the bell or for the earth to swallow him, but since neither was happening, he decided to face the music. He got up and walked over to the doorway. Captain Stanley gave Johnny a cold stare. "John Gage, this is Monica Street." "Nice to meet you," Johnny said sheepishly. Monica extended her hand and said," I'm sorry I can't cook at all, but I'd be happy to help with the dishes." Her warm smile and giggle let Johnny know she wasn't offended by his remark. Johnny began to relax and started to really look at her. She was so tiny, only about 5'4". There was no way she made it through the program. She was also much cuter than he had imagined. She had dark brown eyes. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a twist. Her skin was fair. Johnny's eyes went from her face downward. Then he noticed the fourth finger of her left hand. Oh well, it was probably for the best. He couldn't date a partner anyway. Captain Stanley led Monica past Johnny and began introducing her to the rest of the crew. When he was finished he asked Roy to show her the squad. When the two headed for the apparatus floor Captain Stanley turned to Johnny. "Listen Gage, I warned you about this new girl. I want her treated like anyone else. Understood?" Johnny felt like he had just gone to the principal's office. He shook his head yes and promised not to let anything like that happen again.  It had been a little rough at first, but for the most part his crew had treated Monica fairly. As time went on they began to trust her abilities and accept her as a member of the station. The department found that having an extra hand at the station was working well. Given the improved triage system at dispatch, many runs were more complicated than they had been in the past. Two more of the busier stations had also been assigned a third member to their squads.  E!E!E!E!E! Captain Stanley returned his thoughts to the present. Men from B shift were beginning to arrive to relieve his crew. Captain Edwards approached Captain Stanley. "Is there any news Hank?" "No, not yet. We're going over to Rampart from here." "I'm sorry Hank. What a shame that some criminal could have such disregard for life till the end." Captain Stanley looked confused. Captain Edwards explained, "You know, the other driver. I heard on the radio about the police chase after the bank robbery. They said he lost control and hit the squad. Captain Stanley stood there stunned. In all of the effort to extricate Monica, he hadn't really thought about the number of police at the scene. He knew the other driver was dead. But he had no idea of the circumstances. That was why McConnike had said he had to "clear some things up with the police." It made sense now. Captain Stanley headed into his office to call Roy.  He knew he would want to know what had happened. E!E!E!E!E! Joanne DeSoto was in the kitchen washing dishes. The kids were off to school. She had let Roy sleep late and made him a big breakfast, feeling a little guilty that he was spending a vacation day doing household chores. When he had finished eating, Roy headed to the garage to fix the automatic door opener that hadn't worked in months. The phone rang and Joanne answered it. 'Hello" she said. "Hello, Joanne, this is Captain Stanley." "Hello Captain," Joanne said a little confused as to why he would be calling. "Joanne, could I please speak to Roy?" "Sure Captain, let me get him," Joanne was starting to get concerned. Captain Stanley didn't sound like himself. She put the phone down and headed toward the garage. "Roy," she said "Oh so you're checking up on me already," he smiled as he called over his shoulder. "What a slave driver!" he laughed. "Roy, Captain Stanley is on the phone. He wants to talk to you. He sounds kind of strange." Roy put down his tools and rushed to the kitchen phone. "Hello Cap, what's up?" Roy asked cautiously. "Roy I'm sorry to call you at home, but I have some bad news. The squad was in an accident this morning. Johnny is fine; he was transporting a patient in an ambulance. Monica was following with the squad and someone crashed into her." "Oh my god! How is she?" Roy asked as Joanne stood by trying to decipher the conversation. "They took her to Rampart. She didn't seem to be doing very well. B shift is coming in to relieve us and then we're heading over to the hospital." "Okay Cap, I'll see you there." Roy hung up the phone and took a deep breath. "Roy what is it?" asked Joanne "The squad was in an accident this morning. Monica was hurt. She's at Rampart." "What about Johnny?" she asked "He's okay. He was with a patient in an ambulance when it happened..." Roy went to the hook where he kept his car keys. "I'm coming with you," Joanne said as she took off her apron. E!E!E!E!E! When they arrived at the hospital Roy and Joanne pulled into the visitor's lot. They parked and walked to the Emergency entrance. Squad 49 was parked at the entrance with an ambulance beside it. Roy instinctively looked into the back of the ambulance. The attendants were in there preparing for the next run. One was making up the stretcher with fresh linens. The other was cleaning up blood that had gotten on the floor. Roy's heart sank. He turned back to Joanne and went through the Emergency room doors trying to block the image from his mind. He looked down the hall for a familiar face. Dixie, Dr. Early, or Dr. Brackett, no one was around. They must be with Monica, but in which room? Then he saw Dr. Morton hurrying down the hall. Dr. Morton saw Roy and said, "They're in four." Then he motioned for Roy to follow him. Joanne headed for the waiting room. When Roy entered the treatment room, there were so many people and machines that he had a hard time even finding Monica. Dr. Brackett was checking monitors. Dr. Early was checking her pupils. Dixie was hanging blood. Brice was getting a blood pressure. Dwyer was checking IV's. Then he saw Johnny who was standing at the foot of the stretcher. He looked like he had seen a ghost. His jaw was tight as he strained to keep his composure. He watched intently as the others tended their patient. He hadn't even noticed that Roy had entered the room. Roy went over to Johnny. It was from there that he got his first look at Monica. She lie there motionless, IV's coming from her arms, a respirator helping her breathe, a heart monitor attached to her chest, a splint on her right leg with a blood soaked bandage covering a wound on her thigh. Her face was deathly pale, except for bruises here and there. It was difficult to see someone he knew so well in this condition. She had been at the station for years. Over the years she and Roy and Johnny had become a wonderful team. When they were off duty they went to each other's homes. Monica was a friend of Joanne's. Roy's children loved her. It would be difficult to tell them that Monica had been in an accident. He hoped by the time they were out of school he could tell them she was doing well and was going to be just fine. Roy looked over to Johnny. He hadn't moved a muscle. He put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. After a moment or two Johnny turned to see who was next to him. Roy? How did he know? Had someone called him? How long had he been there? The two friend's eyes met. Words were not necessary. They knew each other too well. Their eyes were wracked with pain and fear. They couldn't hide that from each other. Paramedics learned to hide their emotions from their patients. They knew they had to look calm to keep their victims calm. Some paramedics where dark glasses so there is no chance a patient can read anything into their eyes. But Johnny and Roy didn't need to hide from each other. Each one not only understood the other's feelings, but felt what the other felt. "Get Dr. Craig down here STAT Dix," Dr. Brackett ordered. Dr. Daniel Craig was the best trauma surgeon in the county. If anyone could pull this patient through, he could. Dr. Craig had a gruff personality. He was hard on his residents and many of the hospital staff. But what he lacked in personality, he more than made up for in talent. He was able to repair damage to a human body that many other doctors would not even attempt. "Her BP is dropping, 60 systolic," said Brice. "Hang another unit of blood Dix," Dr. Early ordered. The heart monitor showed Monica's heart rate was slow and irregular. Then it showed cardiac arrest. "Paddles Mike," Dr. Brackett ordered. Dr. Morton charged the defibrillator. One, two, three, four, clear!" Dr. Brackett shouted. Everyone stepped back and the volts were administered. Monica's body jumped as the shock passed through her. Dwyer stepped up and began CPR. Brice grabbed epinephrine and administered it into the IV port as ordered by Dr. Brackett. Mike Morton recharged the defibrillator. "Four hundred watts seconds. Clear," ordered Dr. Brackett. The next shock restarted the heart. "Sinus rhythm," said Dixie. "Forty beats per minute." Johnny let out the breath he had been holding. Dr. Craig came through the door. "What do you have Kell?" he asked. "A paramedic, MVA, pulse 40, BP 60 systolic. Her abdomen was firm and distended at the scene. She was pinned in the rig for about twenty minutes. She arrested at the scene, was defibrillated twice with conversion. We've hung two units of B+. She just arrested again, we got her back after defibrillating twice. We gave her epinephrine IV. Dr. Craig didn't appear to be listening as he examined the patient. But he had absorbed every word. "She has a possible head injury, her pupils are dilated, the right is not responsive," added Dr. Early. "And she lost a lot of blood from a compound fracture of the right femur." Dr. Craig palpated her abdomen. He compiled the list of injuries in his mind and decided on a course of action. "Let's get her to the OR. We have to stop the internal bleeding or we're going to lose her." Dixie grabbed the phone in the treatment room and notified the OR to prepare for a trauma case, surgery to be performed by Dr. Craig. Everyone prepared to move all the equipment along with the stretcher up to the OR. Dr. Early, Dr. Morton, Dr. Brackett, Dixie, and Brice ran into the waiting elevator. There was no room for Dwyer, Roy, or Johnny. They took a last glimpse at Monica as the elevator doors shut tight. Johnny and Roy stood there staring at the doors, not able to absorb what had just transpired. Just then the men from Engine 51 entered the Emergency room. Dwyer heard the footsteps and turned to see the men walking down the hall. He walked down to meet them halfway. Captain Stanley saw Johnny and Roy standing in front of the elevator. "Hi Cap," Dwyer said. "How is she?" Chet jumped in. "They just brought her up to surgery. She is bleeding internally. Dr. Craig is operating on her. He is the best in L.A." Dwyer decided not to mention that she had arrested just prior to going to surgery. They had enough to handle right now. Captain Stanley walked up to Johnny and Roy, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. Roy turned first. "Hi Cap," Roy managed to say. They both turned to Johnny who stood motionless. "John," said Captain Stanley. There was no response. "Johnny," Roy said as he turned Johnny toward him. Johnny turned and looked at Roy. The only word he could say was, "Why?" Joanne saw Roy and the others standing by the elevator. She walked up to Roy trying to read his face as to what was going on. Roy was talking to Johnny. When Joanne saw the look on Johnny's face she feared the worst. Oh, no. She can't be gone! Tears welled up in Joanne's eyes. Captain Stanley saw her expression and took her by the hand. "They took her to surgery Joanne. They need to stop the internal bleeding," Captain Stanley spoke gently to calm her. Joanne almost fainted she was so relieved. There was a commotion at the entrance to the Emergency room. Reporters were beginning to stream in. They had come to the hospital to find out the condition of the paramedic. They hoped to be able to get a statement from the crew that worked with her. They also hoped to report her name. But usually that wasn't released until next of kin were notified. What they didn't know was that this group of men standing by the elevator were her next of kin. Chief McConnike arrived in time to save 51's men from this onslaught. He would handle the reporters, but first he wanted an update from Hank. "Ladies and gentleman, I want to remind you this is a hospital. I'm sure you don't intend to disrupt its normal functioning. May I ask that you wait in the lobby? I am going to get an update on the condition of the paramedic and I will give you a statement as soon as possible." The reporters relented and walked toward the lobby. They trusted the chief. If he found out anything he could release, he would surely let them know.  Chief McConnike greeted engine 51's crew. "Hank how is she?" he asked. "They just took her to surgery. She's bleeding internally. That's all I know," said Captain Stanley. The chief looked at Roy and Johnny. He could see they needed time alone. There was no way he was going to let the reporters near any of them. He would also call Father Mike, the department chaplain. The men loved him and he was good in these situations. The elevator doors opened and Dixie stepped out. "Why don't we all go into one of the conference rooms?" she offered. "There's plenty of room. I think you'll be more comfortable there." Dixie directed the group to a conference room used by the doctors for department meetings. It had just been redecorated. It had new leather chairs, a large conference table, and extra sofas by the windows. The first time she saw it she was a little perturbed that so much had been spent on the staff's comfort when there were so many things they needed to take better care of the patients. But now this room was just the right thing. The guys were exhausted. They needed a comfortable place to sit. They also needed the quiet from the bustling E.R. activities. There was a phone if they needed one. She would have coffee and some sandwiches sent from the cafeteria. The men followed her obediently into the room. "Miss McCall, may I please speak to you outside?" asked Chief McConnike. "Sure," Dixie left and closed the door behind her. "Miss McCall, I'm not sure if you are aware of the circumstances of the accident," he said.  Dixie looked at the chief. She was a little confused. He seemed so ominous. "What do you mean chief?" "Miss McCall, the police were chasing a suspect who had just robbed a bank and killed the manager." He continued, "The suspect lost control of his car as he came to the intersection and crashed into Ms. Street. "Oh my God!" said Dixie. "Miss McCall, there are several reporters here. The department will handle any release of information about Ms. Street's condition. I'll do my best to get them off the premises as soon as possible. You might need to notify the hospital administrator of the situation." "I'll get right on it chief," Dixie replied. "Thank you. Chief do the guys know about this?" she asked. "I'm not sure. I don't think so. They were all focused on helping Monica at the scene. I'm calling our chaplain Father Mike to come down and talk with them," he said. Dixie knew Father Mike. He was always there to help whenever a firefighter was hurt or….. He helped the families and the firefighters through their ordeals. It was good to have him around. Sometimes the hospital staff was too busy to give the relatives and friends the support they needed in a crisis. After seeing Johnny's face she knew he needed Father Mike most of all. E!E!E!E!E! The cafeteria aid brought in a large urn of coffee and a plate of sandwiches. Joanne didn't ask. She just began serving the coffee and sandwiches to the crew. They each smiled and thanked her. Then as if by direction, each pushed the sandwich to the side and grabbed the coffee. The room was so quiet. No one knew what to say. Saying Monica was healthy and young seemed frivolous. Joanne approached Johnny with a cup of black coffee. He was sitting in front of the window staring out. He wasn't looking at anything. He was just staring blankly, lost in thought. Seeing Johnny like this frightened her. He was taking this very hard. She handed him the coffee. He mumbled a thank you and took hold of the cup. Then he turned back to the window and drifted into his own world. Roy saw the exchange and how it had frightened Joanne. He went over to her and put his arm around her. "Let's take a little walk," he said. He knew Joanne wasn't accustomed to this kind of tension. Being the only woman in a room full of silent men couldn't be easy. Women reacted differently to these situations. They cried, they yelled, they talked about what they were feeling. But men tended to keep their feelings in. They had a hard time expressing themselves. Men see a show of emotion as weakness. Roy explained that this was just the way the crew was handling the situation. They walked outside for a few minutes. It was getting close to the time for Chris and Jennifer to get out of school. Joanne decided to go home and try to find a way to tell them about Monica. Roy knew the kids would need her support. She was better off at home. He promised to call with any news. E!E!E!E!E! As he was returning to the E.R. Roy saw a familiar face. "Father Mike," Roy said as he approached the elderly priest. Father Mike was a tiny, elderly priest. His hair was white and he had bright blue eyes. Roy wasn't a Catholic, but he admired Father Mike a great deal. He was very supportive of the firemen and their families. He remembered how kind Father Mike had been to Joanne when he had been hurt in a house fire three years ago. Father Mike stopped by 51 for dinner sometimes when Marco made is famous Irish stew. 'Marco," he'd say with his thick Irish brogue, "Are you sure there's not a wee bit of Irish in ya? My mother, God rest her soul, didn't even make a stew as fine as this." Everyone would laugh just trying to picture Marco Lopez having Irish in his ancestry. "And Chet me boy, why is it you didn't inherit your mother's cooking talents?" Father Mike knew Chet since he was born. He baptized him. He had been a priest in Chet's parish all of Chet's life. Father Mike was the one who took Chet home after Mr. Greenburg caught him stealing bubble gum from his store. Chet was just seven at the time. He was small for his age and the older kids picked on him. They had dared him to do it. Father Mike had come along as Mr. Greenburg was picking up the phone to call Chet's mother. Father Mike calmed Mr. Greenburg down and assured him he would speak to Mrs. Kelly. Then he took Chet by the hand and walked him home. Chet explained what had happened. Father Mike knew Chet was a good boy. He explained to Chet that just because he was small, that didn't mean he had to let people push him around. He told Chet that he could do anything he wanted. He just needed a big heart and a strong will. "And being a Kelly," Father Mike explained, "You've been blessed with both." Over the years Father Mike continued to encourage Chet. He was there when Chet graduated from the fire academy. Chet's dad had passed away two years earlier. Chet was glad to have his other "Father" there for him. E!E!E!E!E! "Good afternoon gentleman," Father Mike said as he entered the conference room. Everyone looked up to greet him; everyone except Johnny who still stared out the window, oblivious to his surroundings. Father Mike took note of John and knew he would have to be particularly supportive of that young man. Father Mike sat down and Captain Stanley filled him in on the situation. Father Mike expressed his sympathy. He tried to remind the men how wonderful the doctors at Rampart were.  An hour or so later, Dixie came in the room to check on everyone. She didn't have any news to report. She admonished the men for not eating a bite of the sandwiches she had sent in. "The last thing in the world Monica needs is a bunch of sick firemen on her hands while she is recovering," Dixie said in her lecture tone. Chet, Mike, Marco, Captain Stanley and Roy smiled knowing that was exactly what Monica would have said to them. Father Mike assured Dixie the men would eat. Then she left to go back to the floor. The waiting room was filled with patients. Kell had stayed in the O.R. with Dr. Craig. Joe and Mike were covering for him. Some reporters were still hovering, although most had gone on to police headquarters to cover the news conference by the police commissioner. After 5 hours of surgery, Dr. Craig headed to the E.R. to talk to the men of Station 51.He wasn't sure what to tell them. The next 48 hours would be critical as far as the surgery he had performed. Monica must be watched for continued internal bleeding and infection. He was also concerned about the additional time she needed to spend under anesthesia for the repair of the femur. She was in a very critical state and the stress of anesthesia could prove to be too much for her. The elevator doors opened and he emerged into the emergency department. He saw Dixie and Joe Early standing by the base station. Dixie noticed him first. She saw the blood that had spattered on his scrubs. She touched Joe's elbow and he turned from the base station. "Well she's still in surgery. Dr. Caldwell is working on her femur. She had a large tear in her spleen. I was able to repair it. She also had a tear in her liver and some tears in the vessels which were repaired. She took eight units of blood. She arrested on us. At first I didn't think we would get her back. She must be strong." "That she is," said Dr. Early. "Where are her partners? Kell wanted me to talk to them," asked Dr. Craig. "They're in the conference room Dr.Craig, I'll show you," Dixie said as she led the way. Dixie opened the door to the conference room. She saw all the anxious faces looking back at her. She moved aside to let Dr. Craig by. "Dr. Craig," she said, "These are the men from Station 51. This is Captain Stanley, Mike Stoker, Marco Lopez, and Chet Kelly. That's Roy DeSoto one of Monica's partners, and John Gage her other partner. This is Father Mike the department chaplain." Johnny, who had been so far away for hours now seemed completely alert, as if he had awakened from a long sleep. "How is she?" he said, his voice filled with worry. "Well gentlemen she is still in surgery. I repaired tears in her spleen and liver and other sources of bleeding. We gave her eight units of blood. By the end of my surgery her blood pressure was steady at 100/60," said Dr. Craig. "Your surgery?" asked Johnny. "Yes, right now Dr. Caldwell is with her repairing her right femur." "Do you know how much longer she will be in surgery?" Roy asked. He knew that in her condition the longer they operated the greater the chance she could arrest under the anesthesia. Johnny knew that too and he waited for Dr. Craig's reply. "No, I don't know. They were preparing to take x-rays first. It will depend on the damage. I'm sorry I can't tell you more," said Dr. Craig. He wished he had better news for them, but only time would tell. Dr. Craig went back to the O.R. to check in on the continuing surgery. Captain Stanley, Marco, Chet, and Mike went for a walk outside. Roy decided to ask Dixie if he could use the phone at her desk to call Joanne. He wanted to be able to speak freely without Johnny in ear shot. Johnny and Father Mike were left alone in the conference room. Johnny had slumped onto the couch after everyone left. He couldn't exhale yet. The crisis wasn't over. Johnny didn't know how much longer he could control his emotions. Ever since he saw that car hit the squad he felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. He never had such an ache inside. He kept asking himself over and over why he hadn't taken the squad in? Why wasn't it him? Father Mike decided this might be a good time to talk to John. He walked to the urn and poured two cups of black coffee. He walked over to the couch and sat next to John. He handed him the coffee. Johnny thanked him, but didn't take a sip. "You know, Monica isn't going to be able to care for herself for some time. Roy has a family to care for. She is going to need you, John Gage. Now you drink that coffee and I'll get you a sandwich. Monica will have my head when she hears how long I've let you go on like this." Father Mike was a great psychologist, by talking about her recovery and using the word "when" not "if" he managed to give Johnny something to hang on to. But Johnny's thoughts still kept going to the site of Monica in the wreckage and performing CPR on her. He couldn't comprehend the senselessness of the accident. If they had been in the intersection five minutes sooner, or five minutes later they wouldn't be sitting here right now. "Father Mike, can you tell me why God would let something like this happen? Why would he let something so terrible happen to her? Why?" Johnny asked as he looked at Father Mike desperate for an answer. "John, I don't know the answer to that question. So many terrible things happen to people. You know that better than anyone. You see pain and suffering every day in your work. If it were within my power I wouldn't let anything bad happen to anyone. But life doesn't work that way. All we can do is be there for the people who are suffering. I've been around for a long time John. I can tell you that I truly believe something good comes out of every situation. Maybe we can't see it at first. But it is always there." Father Mike hesitated for a moment. "John I've have known you and Monica for several years now. I have seen you together. I know it's not my place to say this, but when have I ever known when to keep my mouth shut? Is it possible that you are taking this so very hard because you have some deeper feelings for Monica? "Deeper feelings? What do you mean, like being in love with her?" Johnny looked at Father Mike in amazement. He and Monica had worked together for eight years. There was no way he could be in love with her. She was his partner and a very good friend, but there couldn't be anything more there. Could there? He had given Johnny something to think about. Father Mike saw Johnny's confusion. "John, life is full of wonderful surprises. Some are right in front of us and we never see them. All I'm asking is for you to search your heart. You'll know. Over the years I have seen a lot of couples who didn't belong together and a lot who have had a lifetime of happiness. If you don't mind my saying so, I think the two of you fall into the second category." E!E!E!E!E! As Captain Stanley headed back to the hospital he was met by Chief McConnike. "Any news Hank?"  "She's still in surgery. They repaired a tear in her liver and spleen and stopped some other bleeding, now the orthopedic surgeon is working on her broken leg," said Captain Stanley. "Hank, can we talk for a minute in private?"  "Sure chief," said Captain Stanley. They walked through the E.R. doors and back outside. It was evening now and it was beginning to get cool. The breeze felt good. "Hank, I'm not sure if you know exactly how Monica's accident happened?" "Yes I know Chief. Captain Edwards told me when we went back to the station. But I haven't said anything to my men. I want to wait until Monica is out of danger." "Okay Hank, I trust your instincts. The reporters left here a few hours ago. I promised to call them with any news. Is there anything I can do?" "Just say a prayer," Captain Stanley said as he turned to go back into the hospital. "Done," replied the chief. Roy had just hung up the phone after talking to Joanne. Dixie was sitting at her desk. "Joanne told Chris and Jennifer this afternoon," Roy explained. "How are they taking it?" Dixie asked. She had met Roy's children at the fireman's picnic and a few other occasions. They were sweet kids. "Well Joanne's been keeping them busy. Jennifer wanted to make her a card. Chris is painting her a picture. They don't realize how serious it is," Roy's voice suddenly cracked at these last words. He fought back the tears he had been fighting all day. Dixie didn't say anything. She just put her hand on his and squeezed it. Roy wiped back his tears. "I'm sorry," he said. "That kinda snuck up on me." "It's understandable Roy. This has been such a long day," Dixie said. She hadn't even realized that by this time she should be off duty. She needed to keep working. Otherwise, the slow moving clock might drive her crazy. Captain Stanley and Mike Stoker's wives had come into the hospital through the main entrance. Marie Stanley had seen her husband speaking to the chief. Captain Stanley looked up and saw his wife. After 25 years of marriage, she was still the prettiest woman he had ever seen. Captain Stanley walked toward his her. He put his arms around her and kissed her head. It felt so good to hold her. He thought that maybe in some way firefighters were more fortunate than other people. They were aware of the fragility of life. They knew well that there might not be a tomorrow. They had learned to appreciate time with their loved ones more. Mike was with his wife Connie down the hall. He hugged her. She looked up into his eyes. He smiled down at her and said, "I love you." Everyone went back to the conference room to wait for word on the second part of Monica's operation. After an additional 2 hours the surgery was complete. Dr. Brackett headed to the E.R. while Monica was brought to ICU. The elevator opened and Kell stepped out. People were bustling back and forth. He had almost forgotten that there would be other patients, other families. All day he had concentrated on just one and now he needed to speak to her family. Dixie led Kell to the conference room. Joe Early and Mike Morton followed. There was a new shift of doctors covering the E.R., so they were free to hear what Kell had to say. As soon as he entered the room, all eyes focused on him. Dixie poured Kell a cup of coffee. He sure looked like he could use one. He took the coffee and sat down in the free seat at the head of the table. "Well she's out of surgery. I suppose Dr. Craig spoke with you about his portion of the surgery?" Everyone nodded in agreement. "After Dr. Craig had closed, Dr. Caldwell an orthopedic surgeon came in to work on the fractured femur. It was a pretty nasty break. Dr. Caldwell did his best to repair it. Her vital signs remained stable through his portion of the surgery. She is in the ICU now. Dr. Craig, Dr. Caldwell, and I concur that she should be kept in a twilight sleep. That is a drug induced coma," he explained to the men of Engine 51.  "This will allow her body to use all of its energy to heal. This means we will also be keeping her on a respirator for a while." Dr. Brackett stopped to allow his audience to absorb all the information he had just presented. He looked around the room at the sea of faces. He was met with eyes full of concern and in some cases confusion. No one seemed to know whether or not they could relax. Finally, after seeing no one else would ask the question, being the leader of the group Captain Stanley asked, "How long will it be until she is out of danger Dr. Brackett?" Dr. Brackett tried to conceal a grimace that came to his face. He was trying to be as positive as possible. These men needed something to hang on to. However, he knew that nothing but the truth would do. They needed to know what they were up against. They were trained to meet the toughest conditions head on. "I won't lie to you gentlemen. It's going to be quite some time before she is out of the woods. There are several complications that could occur, such as continued internal bleeding or infection. We have not been able to determine the extent of her head trauma. We also suspect that she has some rib fractures either from the accident or from CPR We will be getting x-rays as soon as she is settled into ICU. She has received eight units of blood so far. Her vitals have been stable, but I'd prefer to see them higher. We were able to bring her back three times. I'm not sure if we could repeat that. But by the same token, we have to remember that she did come back. She did make it through a very long surgery.  We need to be positive for her. I truly believe that can make all the difference for critically ill patients," said Dr. Brackett. There was a deafening silence in the room. Then Johnny said, "Can I see her?" Dr. Brackett was momentarily surprised. Johnny hadn't asked if "they" could see her, but specifically if "he" could see her. After a moments hesitation Dr. Brackett said, "Sure Johnny, I'll go up with you." "Dr. Brackett, if it would be all right, I would like to go also," said Father Mike. "Sure Father Mike," said Dr .Brackett. The trio left the conference room. With Johnny gone everyone felt freer to voice their concerns. "Roy, what do you think? Is it as bad as it sounds?" asked Chet. "Well, I've seen people in worse shape come around and do fine." "Dr. Brackett is right. Sometimes there is a point where medical science leaves off and faith comes in," Dr. Early said to the group. They had no choice but to hope for the best. Anything else was unimaginable. Roy used the phone to call Joanne. The kids were getting ready for bed. Jennifer wanted to talk to Daddy, so Joanne put her on the phone. "Hi Daddy how's Aunt Monica?" her little voice asked. "Well honey, she's still asleep after her operation. She needs a lot of rest," said Roy. "That's what Mommy makes me do when I'm sick, and I always get better," Jennifer said. "Daddy," said Jennifer. "Yea sweetheart," replied Roy. "Tell Aunt Monica I'm going to say a special prayer for her tonight." Roy felt the tears forming in his eyes. He cleared his throat trying to regain the strength in his voice. "That's a wonderful idea sweetheart. Now you go to bed and get some sleep," said Roy. "Okay Daddy," Jennifer handed the phone back to Joanne, who was also fighting back the tears. "You go and brush your teeth honey, I'll be up in a minute," said Joanne. "Roy I wish I could be there. I wish there was something I could do," said Joanne. "I guess Jennifer has the right idea," said Roy.  "I love you Roy," said Joanne, her voice cracking. "I love you too sweetheart. Don't wait up for me," Roy put down the phone and said a silent prayer himself. E!E!E!E!E! Dr. Brackett, Johnny, and Father Mike stepped off the elevator and entered the Intensive Care Unit. Dr. Brackett stopped at the nurse's station to ask which room Monica had been brought to. "She's in room seven Dr. Brackett. Dr. Craig just left. He wrote all the orders," said the nurse at the desk. "Thank you Pam," Dr Brackett said to the ICU nurse. Johnny was already heading in the direction of the room. He stood in the doorway of room seven. There were two nurses checking the equipment and IV's. Johnny took a deep breath. He had been able to keep his emotions in check until now. But as he saw her lying there so helpless it was almost more than he could bear.   The nurses finished their work and turned to leave. Johnny stepped to the side to allow them to pass. Then when they had gone, he walked over to Monica's bed. He instinctively checked the monitors and the IV's himself. When his task was complete, he turned his attention to Monica. He looked at her face. It was almost as white as the sheets that were under her except it was more bruised and swollen than he had remembered from the scene of the accident. There was a maze of tubes surrounding her. Without thinking he took her hand in his. He bent down and spoke to her in the most reassuring tone he could produce. "Hey it's Johnny," he squeezed her hand. "You're at Rampart. You were in an accident. Dr. Brackett says they want to keep you asleep and on a respirator to save your strength. You're going to have to use all your strength to get better. All the guys are downstairs. They send their love. I'm here too and I'm not going to leave you. I want you to promise me you'll hang on. A single tear ran from his cheek and landed on Monica's. Then he uttered the words without realizing. "I love you sweetheart." Just then Father Mike entered and put a hand on Johnny's shoulder. He said some prayers and then the nurses came back in the room. The portable x-ray had arrived. Father Mike took Johnny by the arm. "Let's let the ladies do their work John." Johnny was frozen where he stood. He knew he couldn't stay, but he didn't have the courage to leave. "Come on John," Father Mike said as he ushered Johnny from the room. Johnny turned at the doorway and took one more look before he left. E!E!E!E!E! Back in the conference room Dr. Early and Dixie were trying to answer more questions from the crew. Mike Morton had been called to the second floor to check a patient he had admitted earlier that day. Dixie saw how tired the men looked. "It's almost nine o'clock. Why don't you guys go home? There's nothing more you can do tonight. You should get some rest." Captain Stanley agreed. He knew his crew was exhausted. No one wanted to leave but there was no point in staying. Marie Stanley and Connie Stoker had gone home a couple hours earlier. "Roy, are you going home?" Captain Stanley asked. "No, I think I'll check on Johnny. Maybe I can get him to come home with me," he said.  "Okay then, we'll get going. Miss McCall can I leave my home number in case there is any change?" "Sure Captain Stanley, come with me to the desk," Dixie said with a kind smile on her face. Chet, Marco, and Mike filed out of the room after saying goodbye to Roy. All four went back to Mike's car. He would bring them back to the station to pick up their own cars before going home. On the ride back to the station Captain Stanley decided he would have to talk to the men about the facts surrounding the accident. He didn't want to, but they were sure to hear it on the news or see it in tomorrow's paper. He wanted to be the one to explain the situation to them. "Listen everyone, there's something I need to tell you about the accident," started Captain Stanley. He instantly had everyone's attention. They were puzzled by the statement and the tone of Cap's voice. "I don't know if any of you noticed at the time, but there were a lot of police on the scene," said Captain Stanley. The men all went back in their minds to recall the scene. "You know that the other driver is dead," he continued. The men recalled the tarp and Dr. Brackett going over to the other car. "Well, what you don't know is that the other driver was being chased by the police. He had just robbed a bank and killed the manager. As he approached the intersection he lost control and that's when he crashed into the squad." Captain Stanley stopped to allow everyone to absorb the information. Chet was the first to speak. "I don't believe it! This town is going crazy. All the crime and police chases, it's getting so it isn't safe for anybody." The rest of the ride to the station was silent. Each man lost in thought about how the day's events had unfolded. With this new information they had just been given it seemed impossible to make any sense of it all. Captain Stanley reminded the crew that they would be given the next three shifts off as was department policy. They would be required to meet with a department counselor during that time before they could be cleared to return to duty. Roy headed up the elevator to the Intensive Care Unit. When he got off the elevator he saw Father Mike sitting next to Johnny in the ICU waiting room. Johnny's head was buried in his hands. The sight startled Roy and he feared the worst. He approached the two. "Father Mike?" he said. Father Mike looked up. "We just came from her room Roy. I think maybe John needs to speak with you. I need to get back to the rectory. Please call me anytime if you need me." Then he turned to Johnny, "If you need me John, just call." Johnny looked up with red, weary eyes and managed to utter a "Thank you." Then he let his head fall back in his hands. After Father Mike left, Roy sat down next to his partner. At first he remained silent. He knew Johnny needed some time to compose himself. After several minutes, Johnny spoke, "I went in to see her. I told her to be strong. I told her that they were keeping her in a coma." Then he hesitated, took a breath and said, "Then I told her that I loved her." Johnny prepared for Roy to express his surprise. Instead Roy remained quiet, with a thoughtful look on his face. "Did you mean what I think you meant?" Roy asked. "Yea, I think so," said Johnny looking a little confused. "Roy, I know it sounds crazy." "You know Johnny; it's been a really long day. You're really upset." "I know Roy. Maybe that's all it is." Johnny said and then drifted into his own thoughts. "Dr. Brackett, ICU STAT. Dr. Brackett, ICU STAT." Johnny and Roy sprang to their feet and went through the doors to the ICU. Johnny could see the nurses surrounding Monica's bed. "Oh no! She's having a seizure!" Johnny said. They rushed into the room to help. Dr. Brackett entered the room. He had been in his office. "What's going on?" he asked. "Seizure. Dr. Brackett." Joe Early entered the room next. He had been in checking on another patient when he heard the call. "Did we get the x-ray films yet?" Dr. Brackett asked. "They just left a few minutes ago Doctor. I'll call down to get the results," said the ICU nurse. Dr. Early went to check her pupils. "Dilated and not responsive Kell." "Do we have those x-ray results yet?" Dr. Brackett asked with urgency in his voice. The seizure activity appeared to stop and Monica once again lie motionless in the bed. Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early checked to be sure the respirator was not affected and that the IV's and drainage tubes had not been dislodged. The phone rang. Roy picked up the receiver. "Dr. Brackett it's the radiologist," Roy handed over the phone. "Thanks Roy. Yes, this is Dr .Brackett…..I see….Are you certain?.....Yes, I would appreciate that. I'd like to let Dr .Early see them also. He's here with me. Thank you," Dr. Brackett hung up the phone. "Joe, the x-ray shows a subdural hematoma on the right. Dr. Rogers is bringing up the films for us to see." "Will you have to operate?" asked Johnny. "We'll have to look at the films first," said Dr. Early. "But I think it's a strong possibility." Johnny felt his heart sink. How could she make it through another surgery? He just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Roy saw the anguish in his partners face and went to his side to offer his silent support. The radiologist came into the room with the x-ray films. Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early examined them. Dr. Early was a well respected neurosurgeon. His determination was that even given Monica's weakened condition, surgery was necessary to remove the rather large hematoma that had formed. Dr. Brackett concurred with his colleague and began to write the orders to prepare for surgery. The nurse's worked quickly to ready her and then she was wheeled from the ICU to the operating room. Johnny was able to kiss her on the head and whisper, "I love you, hang on," before she was gone from sight. Roy considered calling Joanne, but it was late and he didn't want to wake the children. He was very concerned that Johnny might collapse. He hadn't eaten all day. He was drained emotionally. Just then Dixie stepped off the elevator in street clothes with a bag and two large cups in her hands. "I thought you could use something to eat," she said. "Thanks Dix," Roy smiled and helped her with the cups. He looked over to Johnny who didn't appear to realize that Dixie was there. Dixie looked at Roy, confused. "They just brought Monica back to surgery," he said. "She had a seizure. The x-rays show a subdural hematoma. Dr. Early is performing the surgery." "Oh my God," said Dixie. She had left the hospital to get everyone something to eat. The cafeteria had been closed for hours and she knew no one had really eaten all day. She looked over to Johnny who was clenching his jaw to keep his composure. "John is there anything I can do?" she said gently as she sat down next to him. Johnny attempted a polite smile and said, "No." Dixie knew she had to do something or Johnny was going to end up as a patient. "Johnny, why don't you lie down in the on call room? I brought some soup. Please eat something. You're going to make yourself sick." Johnny knew she was right. He was starting to feel dizzy and weak from the events which had transpired. He agreed. He managed to drink some soup. But he couldn't finish it because nausea set in. Dixie showed him to the on call room and he lay down on an empty cot. As he closed his eyes his head began to spin. Visions from the day flashed in his mind. The car hitting the squad. Monica trapped inside, performing CPR on her, in the ICU with tubes and a ventilator, the seizure, saying I love you. The images flipped back and forth one after another. Finally he was able to drift off to sleep.  "Johnny, Johnny." The sound of Roy's voice roused him from his sleep. "Roy?" he said. He sat up and looked around not realizing where he was. "Johnny, she is out of surgery," Roy said. Then it all came back to Johnny, the accident, ICU, the seizure. "Is she all right?" Johnny said getting up. "Dr. Early is waiting for us in ICU," said Roy. Johnny swayed slightly when he stood up. Roy grabbed him to steady him. Johnny had been asleep for four hours. He looked awful. He had dark circles under his eyes. He was pale. Maybe I should have let him sleep, thought Roy. But he knew Johnny would never forgive him if he had. "I'm okay," Johnny said. They walked to the ICU. This was one of the few areas of the hospital that were the same day and night. It was always bright and bustling with activity. Dr. Early was in his scrubs. He was speaking with a nurse at the desk when he saw Roy and Johnny come in. He felt sorry for both of them. They looked awful. "Johnny, Roy, why don't you come over here?" He led them to the nurse's lounge. The three sat down. Johnny was scared to death. If Monica was okay, why didn't he just say so as soon as he saw them? "We evacuated a large blood clot on the right side of her brain. We won't know until the swelling goes down if there has been any permanent damage." Dr. Early stopped. He could see the anguish in their faces. They were trying to come to grips with the fact that their partner could have permanent brain damage. "I want to remind you, nothing is definite. We won't know anything for days. There is every chance that when the swelling goes down, she will be just fine," Dr. Early tried to reassure Johnny and Roy. Johnny took a long, slow breath. Then he spoke. "Can we see her?" "Sure John, you can both go in. I think it would be good for her," said Dr. Early. The three rose. As Johnny went to open the door he stopped. He was still facing the door when he asked, "Do you think we should call Father Mike?" Dr. Early knew what he was trying to say. He had to find a way to keep Johnny positive. He knew Monica would need that. "No John, right now I think she needs her family." Johnny felt slightly relieved and understood that Dr. Early was trying to tell him to be strong for her. This was the first time Roy would see Monica since she was rushed into the elevator from the E.R. Even though Johnny had seen her before, her appearance had changed drastically. Her head was covered with bandages. Her face was very swollen. Johnny couldn't contain his sobs. Roy put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. Tears were streaming from his eyes too. He hardly recognized the woman lying in the bed. This couldn't be the sweet girl who was always smiling and so full of life. On Saturday she had been to the DeSoto house for a picnic. She was laughing and running with the kids and chasing Johnny with water balloons. Roy was jolted back to the moment. Johnny had moved next to Monica. He held her hand. "Monica, its Johnny. You're out of surgery sweetheart. You're going to be just fine. Roy and I are here. The doctors are going to keep you on the respirator and in a deep sleep. You just rest and get better. You know what? When you're better, I'm going to take you to my cabin in the mountains. You'll love it there. We can sit on the front porch and build a fire at night. It'll be nice and quiet. You'll be 100% in no time." Roy came on her other side. "Hi there honey. It's Roy. Jennifer wants me to tell you she says, "Hi." She and Chris are making get well cards for you." He held her other hand and looked at her bruised and swollen face. How he wished she could open those big brown eyes and give them a smile. Dr. Early hated to break them up, but he knew the nurses had work to do, and John and Roy needed some rest. "Guys, its two in the morning. Why don't you let me give you a ride home?" Johnny looked panicked. "No! Can't I just stay in the on call room down the hall? I promise I won't get in the way." Then he turned to Roy, "You should go home. Joanne and the kids need to see you in the morning." Roy relented. He promised Johnny he would stop by his apartment in the morning and bring some fresh clothes. Dr. Early assured him the nurses would get him if there were any change. Then Johnny left the ICU and walked down the hall to the on call room. Johnny collapsed onto the bed. He drifted into a deep dreamless sleep. Dr. Early dropped Roy off at home. Roy tried to be as quiet as possible. Joanne came tip toeing down the steps as soon as she heard the door. There was worry and anticipation written all over her face. It was obvious she hadn't slept. She tried to read Roy's face. "She's alive honey. They had to bring her back to surgery to remove a blood clot in her brain. Dr. Early let Johnny and I see her. She's going to be unconscious for several days. We'll know more then." Joanne didn't know what to say. She just reached out and gave Roy a hug and buried her head in his chest. Tears started to come. She had been holding everything in all day, especially around Chris and Jennifer. Now she felt like she could let it out. Roy held her tightly and cried himself. Then they both silently went upstairs to try to get some sleep. Tomorrow was likely to be another hard day. E!E!E!E!E! Johnny awoke to the sound of voices outside the door of the on call room. It was 8 o'clock. He had been asleep for almost six hours. "I know. It's so sad," said one of the voices. "And to think it's all because that guy didn't want to face prison," said the other voice. "What a waste. I heard she is a really nice girl. Dr. Brackett knows her from the E.R. She may never wake up. Imagine, she spends her life going into burning buildings to help people and some creep comes along and almost kills her." Johnny wasn't sure what he was hearing. What were they talking about? He tried to remember the scene yesterday. The other car, there were a lot of police around it. The other driver was dead. But he couldn't remember anything else but Monica trapped in the squad. All the images came rushing back into his mind. The door to the on call room opened. Roy walked in carrying an overnight bag of things he gathered from Johnny's apartment. "Roy do you know anything about the other driver?" Johnny jumped right in. "What?" Roy asked. He assumed Johnny had found out something, but he wasn't going to offer him anything he couldn't handle. "The other driver Roy. I overheard people talking about what a shame it was that Monica was hurt by someone who didn't want to go to prison." "Johnny, are you sure you want to get into this right now? Why don't you take a shower and I'll get you some coffee, then we can talk?" "No Roy, I want to know what's going on." "Okay Johnny. Come on, sit down," Roy gestured to the cot. Johnny sat down. "Johnny, yesterday morning a bank was robbed. The guy killed the manager. The police were chasing him through the streets," Roy stopped to evaluate Johnny's expression. "And that's when Monica was going through with the squad," Johnny said. His voice was low and monotone. Roy knew his partner. He had seen him in many situations and he had witnessed his many moods. But this was something he never experienced. Johnny's voice was cold and angry. "I can't believe it!" Johnny jumped up and began to pace. "I hope he rots in hell!" Roy couldn't disagree, but he thought it would be better for them to concentrate on Monica now. "Johnny, I know it's unforgivable, but right now Monica needs us. There's nothing more that can be done to that guy. Let's just think about her." Johnny knew Roy was right. He took a deep breath and gathered his things to go into the shower. Roy went to get him some coffee. When Roy returned, Johnny looked much better. He was a little more relaxed and he was in his street clothes. Johnny thanked Roy for the coffee and drank it quickly. He was anxious to get to the ICU. E!E!E!E!E! The local news had latched onto the story of the accident. Viewers couldn't get enough of the story, a young female firefighter paramedic, a policeman's widow, clinging to life following a collision caused by a thief and murderer. Some news wires across the country had also picked up the story. Scenes from the accident were played over and over. Reporters were scrambling to get as much information as they could about the victims and the perpetrator. The fire department wasn't releasing much about Monica. The police department had been able to release the name of the perpetrator after his family was notified. Lawrence Johnson. One of the reporters was able to get an exclusive with his mother. She talked about what a good child he had been and how she didn't know what had gone wrong to drive him to such violence. She then became too distraught to complete the interview. The following morning Dixie groaned at the sound of the alarm at 6 am. She was so tired the night before; she had forgotten to turn it off. She wasn't on duty today. She lay there for a few minutes trying to go back to sleep. But thinking about Monica made sleep impossible. She decided to get up and go to the hospital. Maybe there was something she could do to help. She turned the television on. A habit she had developed from living alone. Silence is golden, but it can be deafening day in and day out. The morning news was on. They were showing the footage from the accident scene. It was the first time Dixie had seen it. It was even more terrible than she had imagined. The anchorman was talking to a reporter at police headquarters by telephone. The reporter was telling about a convicted killer who had been released from prison two days ago on a technicality, something about an error in jury instructions at his trial years before. Dixie listened closely." Police sources say that prosecutors fought the release and considered him to be a real threat. Apparently, Mr. Johnson said he would strike again." "So Susan," said the anchor to the reporter, "Mr. Johnson was considered to be a threat and he even said he would strike again, but was still released?" "That's right Mark, and now Thomas Grady, the manager of the Los Angeles County Bank is dead and a female firefighter paramedic, Monica Street remains in critical condition at Rampart General Hospital." "Susan, is there any new information about the condition of Ms. Street?" "Well Mark, a fire department spokesperson said that Ms. Street was rushed into emergency surgery during the night to remove a blood clot from her brain. She is out of surgery and is in the Intensive Care Unit at this time." "Thank you Susan, please keep us up to date on any developments," said the anchor. Dixie turned the television off, and sat on the couch stunned. How in the world had this happened? How could someone so violent be released? Monica was fighting for her life because some lawyer found a loop hole to allow a criminal to crawl through. Dixie began to cry. Dixie wasn't the only one who had heard the new development that morning. Captain Stanley got up early. He went down to the kitchen to put the coffee on. He turned on the radio which was tuned to a talk station. "What kind of system lets a guy like that go free?" a caller said. "Something has to be done. Once people like that get locked up, they should throw away the key," the caller continued. Captain Stanley was intrigued by the conversation. Whoever they were talking about must be really awful. Then the host went to the next caller. "I hope the judge and defense lawyer are happy. Because of them an innocent person is dead and another may die." "I agree," said the host. "And I think what really angers people is that in addition to the bank manager, a public servant has been injured. She didn't have to be on that road yesterday. But she was bringing a patient to the hospital. She was out there helping people and unfortunately her life collided with the life of a person on the opposite side of the spectrum. Lawrence Johnson was someone who had killed before, clearly stated he would kill again, but was released from prison anyway, because of a technicality in jury instructions." "Oh my God!" Captain Stanley sat at the kitchen table. Released from prison because of a loop hole? He said he would kill again and they let him out? Captain Stanley grew so angry he couldn't think. The telephone rang. Captain Stanley picked it up and snapped, "Hello!" "Hank this is Chief McConnike. Are you okay?" "Oh, sorry chief," said Captain Stanley. "Hank, I'm calling for a reason." "Is there news about Monica?" Captain Stanley's heart was in his throat. "No Hank, but there has been some news about the suspect who hit her," the chief stated. "I heard chief. I just had the radio on. They are talking about it." "Hank, I'm sorry I wanted to call you a little earlier, but I was afraid I would wake your family." "Chief, what the hell happened? They said this guy got out on a loop hole?" "Yes, Hank unfortunately he had a lawyer who was on the bottom of the food chain. He came up with some minor problem with jury instructions in his trial years ago. He appealed the ruling and he won." "And now a bank manager is dead and Monica is in ICU." "Hank the top brass here have been flooded with calls from the public. The union leaders are meeting at headquarters this morning. Word is they are going to call for a full investigation." "Well let me know what I can do chief," said Captain Stanley. "I'll be leaving for the hospital soon. You can reach me there if you need to. "Okay Hank, I hope she's doing better." "Thanks chief." Captain Stanley hung up the phone. The chief had been really supportive the past couple days. Captain Stanley half smiled. Maybe it was time to bury the hatchet over the burning hat? E!E!E!E!E! Johnny and Roy went down the hall to ICU. When they entered the unit Dr. Brackett and Dr. Caldwell were in Monica's room. Dr. Brackett noticed Johnny and Roy approaching and went out to meet them. "Well Johnny, you look a little better today. We were just checking on her. Her vital signs haven't been very stable since Joe's surgery. But she hasn't had anymore seizures. "Her leg looks pretty good so far," said Dr. Caldwell. "Has she needed anymore blood?" asked Roy. "No, not yet we just sent for the results of the latest CBC," said Dr. Brackett. Johnny had been listening intently to the conversation. But his eyes were fixed on Monica. It was so surreal to see her motionless, hooked to monitors and machines. She was so full of life, so strong. "John, John did you hear me?" asked Dr. Brackett. "I'm sorry. What?" Johnny said as he brought himself back to the current conversation. "I was just saying that we'll be keeping her in twilight sleep and on a respirator for at least a few more days." Johnny walked up and held her hand. Dr. Brackett and Dr. Caldwell left the room to go to the nurse's station. "Good morning sweetheart. It's Johnny. You're at Rampart. You were in an accident yesterday. You've had some surgery, but you're going to be fine. Dr. Brackett is going to keep you asleep so you can heal faster. Roy is here too." They stayed with her, talking to her and encouraging her. Roy left to call Joanne; he knew she was anxious to get any news. Dr. Craig entered the room, chart in hand. A nurse entered shortly after to assist him. "Do we have this morning's CBC results?" he asked. "Yes, Dr. Craig, here they are," said the nurse. "The red count is still low. When is the next CBC scheduled?" "At 11 o'clock Dr. Craig," said the nurse. "Have me paged with the results," Dr. Craig said. "We'll decide then if she'll need another transfusion," he said to Johnny. Johnny shook his head in acknowledgement. "I'll be back to check on her after my rounds," said Dr. Craig. "Hopefully, the interns will be on the ball and it will go quickly," Dr. Craig said. Just thinking about the bumbling interns made his blood pressure rise. He had very little patience with them. But since this was a teaching hospital and he was the head of surgery, he was required to instruct them. Johnny smiled as Dr. Craig left the room. He had heard stories of how Dr. Craig would scream at the interns. But he also had a reputation as the finest surgeon in L.A. Johnny was grateful Dr. Craig had performed Monica's abdominal surgery. Dr. Early entered Monica's room. "Hi Johnny, how are you? Did you get any sleep?" he asked. "Yea, I think I passed out as soon as I hit the pillow," said Johnny. "Reminds me of my med school days," said Dr. Early. Dr. Early walked over and picked up Monica's chart. He reviewed her vital signs, lab results, and neuro checks. Then he closed the chart and proceeded to do a physical exam. He checked her dressings and her pupils. "We'll have to keep watching her John. But so far she's holding her own," said Dr. Early. Johnny nodded and looked at Monica. You have to be okay. You just have to, he thought. That day and the next and the next and even the next after that went about the same. The days were too much alike for Johnny. He had lost all track of time. He was practically living at the hospital. He only left to go home and change and get a few hours sleep. He had a lot of time to think. He wanted to be sure that his feelings were not just a reaction to the accident. He knew that if what he felt was real it could significantly alter his life. He had to be certain that he wasn't confusing friendship for love.  He had several opportunities to think about the past 6 years. He realized there had been moments when he felt something more than friendship. He recalled a night a few years ago when he and Monica had offered to watch Chris and Jennifer, so Roy and Joanne could go out to celebrate their wedding anniversary. The children had been asleep for about an hour when Jennifer began to cry from a bad dream. Monica had gone upstairs to comfort her. When she didn't return, Johnny went upstairs to check on them. He looked in Jennifer's room and saw Monica stroking the little girl's hair and singing softly to her. There was another evening at the station when just the two of them were sitting out back at sunset He remembered how at the time he was struck by how comfortable he felt with her and how beautiful he thought she looked at that moment. He was surprised he had forgotten these moments. They weren't by any means a daily occurrence, but there had been several such moments over the years. Why hadn't he recognized it before? He supposed it was because she was a coworker and things like that weren't supposed to happen. Especially in their line of work, where people worked so closely together and depended on each other so much. A friendship was acceptable, anything more would be inappropriate. The more he thought about it. The more certain he became that he had deeper feelings for his partner. E!E!E!E!E! Newspapers and television shows were still carrying the story of the accident and the early parole of Lawrence Johnson. The radio talk show host that Captain Stanley had heard the morning after the accident had encouraged his listeners to make phone calls to their representatives and the D.A.'s office to demand an inquiry. Telephone lines were flooded. Even the governor of California had been made aware of the incident. A memorial of flowers and cards had begun outside the bank that had been robbed in memory of the manager. Some citizens had even come by the station with flowers and cards in sympathy over the event. The hospital was also inundated with cards and flowers, since no flowers were allowed n ICU, the flowers were distributed throughout the hospital. Some were sent to Father Mike's parish for the altar. Johnny kept the cards for her to read when she was better. One week passed after the next since the accident. Other than another transfusion and a slight fever, Monica had remained stable. Johnny was at her side every minute he possibly could. He talked to her about how she was doing and reminded her where she was and why. He held her hand. It was strange and wonderful at the same time. The only people who knew what he had discovered were Roy and Father Mike. Roy and Johnny had some long talks about how much Johnny had changed over the years. Roy pointed out that Johnny rarely dated anymore, and when he did he usually found a reason not to continue the relationship. They discussed why his feelings would surface now after they had known each other so long? "Maybe you just needed to be ready," said Roy. "Maybe you both needed time to be ready." Johnny was in Monica's room when Dr. Brackett, Dr Early, and Dr. Craig entered. "Johnny, we've been discussing Monica's condition and we think it's time to wean her off the respirator and bring her out of the twilight sleep," said Dr. Brackett. Johnny was surprised but pleased. "It will take some time to get her breathing on her own, but we are going to begin the process," said Dr. Brackett. Johnny was a little scared. He didn't want her to experience a set back. Another thought raced through his mind, would he ever be able to tell her how he felt about her? What if it caused them to lose their friendship? No, the important thing was that she was a step closer to getting well. The group of doctors went out to the desk to write the orders and discuss their plan of care with the nurses assigned to her care that day. Johnny leaned over and explained the plan to Monica. "You'll be getting off the respirator soon. You'll be a lot more comfortable. Then the doctors are going to let you wake up. We can hardly wait to see those big brown eyes of yours." The nurses entered the room and Johnny left to call the men at the station. A shift had gone back on duty a couple weeks earlier. Roy was partnered with Charlie Dwyer until Johnny came back on duty. Roy was in the kitchen when the call came in. He relayed the news to the crew sitting at the table. Johnny could here the cheers from the men in the background. "Well Johnny keep us informed. I'm sure I'll be at the hospital at some point today. The rest of the guys are planning to go tomorrow morning when the shift is over," said Roy. After Johnny hung up with Roy, he saw the nurses were still busy in Monica's room. Dr. Brackett was still at the desk, so Johnny decided to go down to the E.R. to let Dixie know what was going on. Dixie was at the base station taking a call from 49's. He could hear Brice's voice on the other end relating the condition of a woman who had twisted her ankle while jogging in the park. Johnny smiled when he thought about Brice. Brice had been amazingly supportive over the last few weeks. He had even brought Johnny food a couple times. Maybe the walking rule book had a heart after all? When Dixie was done with her transmission she smiled at Johnny. "What's up John? You look pretty happy this morning." "I was just up in ICU and Dr. Brackett, Dr. Early, and Dr. Craig all agree its time to get Monica off the respirator and out of twilight sleep," Johnny said, grinning from ear to ear. It was good to see that crooked grin again, Dixie thought. "John, that's great. How about we celebrate? I'll buy you a cup of coffee." "Sounds great Dix," Johnny said as he followed her into the staff lounge. Dixie poured them each a cup of coffee. "You're lucky," she said. "It's early enough that the pot is fresh. In a few hours, it will be able to stand on its own," Johnny laughed and they both sat down at the table. Dixie had been very impressed with the way Johnny had been handling the situation the past few weeks. She knew it had been hard on him. She was glad that things were finally looking brighter. They had hardly been sitting for five minutes when a nurse came into the lounge, "Miss McCall you're needed in three," she said. "Okay I'm on my way. You finish your coffee Johnny and keep me up to date," said Dixie as she headed out the door. Johnny finished his first cup of coffee and was working on his second. Father Mike came into the lounge. "Good Morning John, I was here to see one of our parishioners and Miss McCall told me you were in here." "Good morning Father Mike, How are you?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. "Well thank you, and by the looks of you, I'd say you're doing quite well this morning too."   "Yes, Father Mike, the doctors think Monica is doing well enough to come off the respirator and wake up." "Well I'll be. That's wonderful news John! You must be very happy."  Johnny's expression grew more serious. "Father Mike, I am happy. But between you and me, I'm a little scared. What if she doesn't feel the same way I do? It would be almost as bad as losing her." "John, just be grateful for her recovery. Leave everything up to the good Lord. It will all work out, you'll see," Father Mike said with a grin. The door to the lounge opened and a middle aged couple walked through. The man had a cast on his left leg. "Excuse me," said the woman. "The nurse at the desk said I could find you in here. You're the fireman who came to our home when my husband fell down the stairs aren't you?" the woman asked. The couple looked very upset. "Yes, I'm John Gage and this is Father Mike, you're Mr. and Mrs. Henderson aren't you?" Johnny replied.  "Yes, we are," said the woman. "We were here today to see the doctor. We just wanted to see you and tell you how terrible we feel about your partner's accident," she said. "If you hadn't been helping me this never would have happened. We want you to know how sorry we are," said Mr. Henderson. "Mr. and Mrs. Henderson this wasn't your fault. It was just a terrible accident. It had nothing to do with you," Johnny said in a reassuring tone. "How is the young lady?" asked Mrs. Henderson. "There hasn't been any information on the news. She was so kind to me. I was so upset that day." "She's doing better," said Johnny. "We hope she'll be up and around soon," Johnny knew he wasn't telling the whole truth, but he wanted to help this poor couple feel better. "Oh that's good news. We won't take up any more of your time. Please tell her we were asking for her," said Mrs. Henderson. "I will, and you take care of that leg Mr. Henderson," said Johnny as the couple left. "That was nice of you John," said Father Mike. "You eased their minds considerably"   Dixie entered the lounge. "Johnny, Dr. Brackett just called. He said Monica is regaining consciousness." Both Johnny and Father Mike jumped to their feet. They rode up the elevator with Dixie to the ICU. When they entered the unit, Johnny could see Dr. Brackett leaning over Monica talking to her. Johnny almost ran into the room. "John, she's semi conscious. We expect to have her off the respirator in the next few hours. She does react to my voice. I'm not sure how much she is comprehending though." Johnny went over to Monica's side. Her eyes were closed. "Monica, Monica, its Johnny," he said trying to awaken her. There was no reaction. "Monica, its Johnny, wake up sweetheart. Wake up." There was no reaction at first. Then her eyelids began to flutter as she struggled to go toward the voice. Finally, her eyes opened wide. She looked at Johnny. "Well, that's much better," said Johnny. "Monica if you can hear me squeeze my hand." Johnny reached for her hand. There was no movement. "Come on, I know you're in there. If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." There was still no reaction. "Johnny it's still early in the process, it may take a little time for her to reach a more advanced stage of consciousness." Johnny shook his head in agreement. But he was more determined than ever to stay with her and do anything he could to bring her back. Monica lapsed in and out of consciousness for the next several hours. Dr. Bracket was over seeing the process of weaning her from the respirator, by noon she was breathing on her own. Later that afternoon, Dr. Brackett came up to the ICU. "Has she regained consciousness again?" he asked Johnny. Johnny hadn't left her side since she first woke up earlier in the morning. "No, she has stirred a couple times. I've been talking to her, but she hasn't responded," Johnny said. He appeared more anxious than he had earlier this morning. The weeks of waiting and watching and worrying were etched on his face. Dr. Brackett knew that John and Roy and Monica were close, but Johnny's interest seemed different, he couldn't quite put his finger on how. Dr. Brackett's attention was turned back to Monica as she began to stir. "Monica, this is Dr. Brackett. I want you to try to open your eyes. Monica you need to wake up now." Slowly her eyes opened.  "That's it. Open your eyes. Monica, can you hear me?" asked Dr. Brackett. "Yes" she replied faintly. She was hoarse from the respirator tube. "Monica you're at Rampart. Johnny is here too." Dr Brackett looked over to Johnny encouraging him to talk to her too. the story continue in part two