"Oh those are much too big for him," she informed him.  "Do you know what size he wears?" "Uh, no," he told her.  'Please go away, please go away.' "Oh, well, we can just look in his old pair," she said expectantly. "Uh, they got lost." "He lost them?  Well where are the ones he had on?" "He didn't, actually, I lost them for him, in Colorado.  I KNOW he's not suppose to be in here without shoes on, but...you can see the problem." "Yes I can actually, that's a pretty good scam." "Huh?  What is?" "Bring your kid in without shoes, stick a pair on him, and walk on out.  Have you done it yourself?  Or do you just do it with your kids?" "NOW WAIT A MINUTE LADY, I HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF PAYING FOR THESE!" "Oh I'm sure you do, now." "I am NOT a THEIF!" "Then what exactly are you?" "A Paramedic!" "A what?" "A Paramedic and a Firefighter." "Sure, you jump with parachutes for a living, and fight fires in your spare time." "Look lady, I just need a pair of shoes for my son.  I didn't ask for your help, or your opinion." "You're lucky I don't report you." "FOR WHAT?" "Attempted theft." "LADY, I just GOT here!  You don't know WHAT you're talking about!"  Johnny felt like just leaving, but he thought that would make her look right.  So, he decided to stay, try shoes on his kid until he found the right pair, flash his entire savings to prove he had plenty of money, and march on out with his head held high.  There was just one problem, his son.  "Come over here Coty and try these on." "Why don't you try these," the lady asked, handing him a much cheaper pair of shoes. "You watch too much television," he informed her, watching his kid, and hoping all the negative commotion wasn't about to make him collapse himself down again.  He set the shoes on the floor by him, and waited.  'PLEASE kid, just try them on,' he begged in his mind.  The boy actually did try for him, but the loafers were stiff, and difficult to get on.  With one eye on the lady, Johnny knelt down slowly, and reached for the boy's foot.  Staring at the lady as well, the boy allowed Johnny to slip it on.  Johnny cursed under his breath.  She had been right, it was too big.  He cautiously tried on three more pairs of shoes, till he was satisfied he had the best fit.  Just as he knew she would, the lady followed him and his stocking footed son, all the way to the checkout.  Coty lagged behind several paces, with the lady right at his heals.  Johnny turned to pay the cashier when he heard a blood-curdling scream, followed by crying.  His son lay on the floor, while the lady turned twenty shades of red as every eye in the store turned toward her. "What did you do to him?" Johnny shouted at her, grabbing the bag with the shoes, and running back to them. "Nothing, I didn't touch him, I--" "Why don't you watch where you're going.  Can you get up Coty, are you okay?" The boy got to his feet, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "There's a tough boy...come on, let's get outta here." Coty followed behind him slowly, still weeping, everyone glaring at the lady clerk.  As soon as they were in the Rover, the crying stopped.  The boy wiped his eyes, and looked out the window.  Johnny looked at him in surprise. "You were FAKING!" Johnny laughed.  He giggled all the way to another store, the largest one he could find this time.  "Okay, put your shoes on, and we'll get the rest of what you need." Walking through boys clothing, something occurred to him that hadn't occurred to him before, school, he was going to have to get this kid in school.  He stood for a moment doing the figuring in his mind; six was first, seven was second, eight was third.  Coty should be in third.  He remembered Chris was in third, and wondered if he'd figured wrong since Chris was nine.  He then remembered that Chris had repeated kindergarten.  Johnny smiled, his son would be in the same grade as his best friends son.  Johnny held up some pants and shirts in front of Coty, then guided him toward the changing room.  Coty turned white and ran.  Completely bewildered, Johnny dropped the clothes, and chased after him.  The boy was fast, and he quickly lost site of him.  Two hours of looking later, Johnny gave up, and dejectedly made his way to the front of the store to face the humiliation of asking for help.  He only hoped the Police would not have to get involved in trying to find him.  On his way he spotted him, curled up, ever so small, under a ladies underwear display.  He dropped to his knees, and crawled forward, not wanting to spook the boy, and send him running again.  Three women pointed and watched him, wondering exactly what kind of a pervert he was.  A moment later, he slid the boy out from under the display to their chorus of "aw's". "How much do does he cost," one of the ladies joked at him. Johnny smiled, realizing that anyone not knowing the situation would think it was cute.  "You couldn't afford him," he answered good-naturedly.  As soon as the words left his mouth, the boy bolted.  Johnny snagged him around the waist, and tried not to react as he felt teeth sinking into his upper arm.  "Needs a nap," he told them as he got to his feet and left the store.  Outside, he shoved the boy into the pickup, and angrily slammed the door as he climbed in himself.  He rolled up his sleeve to examine his worst bite yet, cursing under his breath.  Fast jagged breathing sounded beside him, and his anger bottomed out.  What he had done, he didn't know, but it had scared the boy to death.  Johnny gave up and drove the pickup home. He made lunch, which the boy wouldn't eat.  "One step forward and three steps back," he whispered to himself.  "Now what am I gonna do, he doesn't even have a toothbrush."  He kicked around several ideas, before picking up the phone. "Hello?" Joanne asked. "Joanne?" "Oh hi Johnny, what's up?" "Nothin," Johnny told her sadly, never one for being able to hide his feelings. "Johnny what's the matter, is Roy okay?" "Yeah, he's fine far as I know." "Far as you know?" "I'm not working today." "Oh...ooohh, honey, are you sick?  Do you want me to come over for a while?" "No," Johnny said blushing through the phone, "I'm just uh...I'm really in a jam." "What kind of a jam." "One you'd never believe." "Oh I don't know about that, lay it on me kiddo." Johnny blushed again.  He loved Joanne, the big sister he never had.  "Um, maybe it would be easier if you just come over and see." "That bad huh." "Well it's not bad really, it's uh...well it might be kind of nice...later...I mean...could you maybe come over?" "Give me fifteen." "Okay, thanks Joanne." Johnny paced the floor, still not sure how to lay this kind of news on people.  In what seemed like ages, Joanne drove down his long driveway to the house.  Johnny looked at his kid, again sitting in the middle of the living room, and stepped outside the door. "I have a son," he told her as she stepped up on the porch. "You what!" she laughed. "I have a son." She laughed again.  "Okay, I don't know what kind of a joke you're playing here, but I'll--" Johnny opened the door, and pointed into the living room. "Oh my god!  Would you look at that?  Where on earth...how on earth...I mean, Johnny!" "The mother never told me, she died, they found me, now he's mine." "That's incredible...oh she died?  Oh Johnny, I'm so sorry, who was she?" "You didn't know her." "Johnny, I've know your for six years now, I just might--" "He's eight." "He's eight?" "Yeah." "You sure!" "Yeah, the tests proved he was mine." "Well I can SEE he's yours, but are you sure he's eight?" "Yes." "What's wrong with him?" "I'm not sure yet, Dr. Brackett figures years of neglect...malnutrition, but there could be other reasons.  We have to wait for his records to come from Colorado." "Colorado?" "Colorado." "You drove to Colorado?" "Yeah." "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know yet.  He uh...he's got some problems.  Hopefully he just needs to get used to me.  I've traded the next four days off, so I'll have twelve days with him before I have to go back to work." "Twelve days isn't very long you know." "I know, if I have to I'll take some vacation." "So you plan to keep him?" "Of course I plan to keep him!" "Good!  You should...and don't let anyone tell you any different.  Any help you need just say the word." "Actually, I uh...well I tried to take him shopping and...he doesn't have a thing, nothing...and we went shopping and...it didn't work out at all.  He--" "Do you want me to stay with him while you go?" "Actually Joanne..." "Hi there cutie, my name's Joanne, what's your name?" she asked walking into the house and up to the boy.  He growled at her, and ran up the stairs. "Okay," she said, slightly put off, "I didn't realize he was a puppy today." "He's not playing Joanne, at least you got a warning," he informed her, rolling up his sleeve, and then showing her the other two bites on his bandaged hand. "Oh my, you really have to teach him not to do that." "He's petrified Joanne.  I have to figure out how to get him to trust me.  That school he was in must have been a real hell.  I saw first hand the kind of things those kids did to him.  It doesn't even make sense!  I don't know.  It's gonna take time...but he's mine, you know." "I know.  You'll do fine.  Give me the list of what he need's and I'll go shopping for you." "You're a life saver Joanne.  Never mind the mattress, that can wait, just get the clothes and the other stuff." "Do you know his sizes?" "Uh, no." "Don't worry, anything that doesn't fit, you can always take back.  I'll just buy like I'm buying for Jenny, then get a size smaller.  It won't work for everything, but it's a place to start." "Thanks Joanne." "Do you want me to take the truck back to Roy?" "If you WANT to." "Does he know about him yet?" "No, just you and a couple people at Rampart." "Can I tell him?" she smiled. "I...guess so.  They're all gonna know soon enough anyway." "Do you think they'll believe me?" "Probably not." "I bet I could win fifty bucks off of Chet over this," she joked. "Yeah," he answered quietly. "Oh hey Johnny, it's okay.  It'll all work out, just give it some time.  If he's your son, I'm sure he's a great kid." "Not so far.  He's scared all the time, and I don't know what to do about it.  It's like he's walking on eggshells.  I don't know what those kids did, and he doesn't talk, he's not going to tell me.  Not till he trusts me anyway." "He will Johnny.  I'll be back as soon as I can."                         ~/~/~/~/~ "HE HAS A WHAT?!" Roy shouted in the parking lot. "A son," Joanne told him quietly. "Please tell me this is come kind of a joke you two cooked up." "It isn't." "What's he going to do with him, did he say?" "He's keeping him Roy, what do you think!" "He's keeping him...and exactly how's he going to do that?  We have twenty-four hour shifts, remember?  What's he going to do, bring him to work and keep him is his locker?" "Don't be ridiculous.  I'm going to volunteer to look after him while he's working.  What's one more kid in the house anyway." "We tried that once before.  Remember that little boy I brought home?  It was a complete disaster.  YOU nearly divorced me." "Oh I did not." "You sure said you were going to." "That was a spoiled uncontrollable little boy.  There's no reason to think this will turn out the same way at all." "How old is he?" "Eight." "Eight, right in between them," Roy said as if it were a bad omen. "You're being silly." "I just don't think it's a good idea." "Look, he's your partner and your best friend.  How many times has he looked after Chris and Jenny for us.  He gives them riding lessons, he's taken Chris to scouts when you were in the hospital.  He's even taken Jenny to ballet." "That was the time she came home with gum in her hair." "That wasn't his fault.  He didn't know the machine gave out gum too.  He thought it just gave out the little toys." "I just can't picture Johnny being a responsible father." "Well you better start picturing it, cause he's gonna do it.  This kid is here, he exists, there is no giving him back...and he's Johnny's son.  I for one think we should do everything we can to support Johnny on this, understand?" "All right.  You're right.  I'll back him up in every way I can, but if you find it too much to handle on your end, don't go coming to me to tell him he needs to find another place for the kid to stay while he's at work.  YOU are gonna have to do it." "It'll be fine Roy," she reassured him. "Uh huh," he agreed without commitment.                       ~/~/~/~/~ Joanne hurried back to Johnny's house with his Rover.  She knew she didn't have much time to drop off the things she bought, get her station wagon, and drive home before her own two would be getting back.  Her son was at a birthday party, and her daughter at a friend's house. "Here you go," she said letting herself in the front door. "Hi," Johnny smiled. "Okay, I bought you some laundry soap cause I didn't know if you had any.  You should really wash his clothes before he wears them.  It makes them softer, and who knows what some other kid might have had when he tried them on.  I also bought you some fabric softener, cause--" "You didn't know if I had any." "Right, I made sure to get the kind you always buy, cause I figured if YOU'RE allergic to nearly everything else, then HE'LL probably be allergic to nearly everything else.  Remember, anything that doesn't fit well enough you can take back.  Here are the receipts." "Thanks Joanne." "Us parents have to stick together," she encouraged him, smiling.  "Where is he?" "Still under the bed." "Under the bed?" "Yeah." "Since I left?" "Yep, he does that a lot.  I think he slept under there last night...that's if he slept at all." "You're kidding." "Nope." "What kind of a place was this?" "I don't know if it was the place so much as it was some of the other kids." "Well, I'm sure he'll come around.  Hang in there." "I will.  I just wish I knew whether it would be better to be strict, and make him do what I need him to do, or if I should be really soft, and try to talk him into things." "Bribe him?" "Yeah, I guess." "That will only lead to trouble." "I know, doesn't work on him anyway." Joanne smiled.  "Just don't give up on him, okay?  If you need to talk, I'm only a phone call away.  You remember that." "I will." "I got to split, or I'll never beat Chris and Jenny home." "I know." "Oh, I forgot, I bought you..." "Get out of here mommy dearest, I'll figure it out!" "Watch it Buster.  By the way, what's his name?" "Coty.  Good bye, bug eye." "Oooo, I'm going to get you for that.  If you even THINK of reminding Chris about that little rhyme of his--" Johnny closed the door behind her, laughing.  Going through the bags, he found a little toothbrush, a comb, two pairs of pajamas, a package of t's and another of undershorts, two pairs of jeans, two button down shirts, and a pair of cheap sneakers.  He smiled at the little blue canvas shoes, wondering if they would fit him.  Johnny started the first of two small loads of laundry.  He didn't know if, or how long it would take him to get the kid to take a bath, but he wanted the clothes to be clean and ready when he was.  He forced himself to remain downstairs until both loads were finished.  Joanne was right, he'd run out of fabric softener, and hadn't remembered to buy some in months.  He smelled the clean clothes as he walked up the stairs, reminding himself to start another load of his own stuff once the boy had bathed. "Okay buddy," Johnny spoke peering under the bed.  "It's time to take a bath...or a shower...or whatever it is you do...it's time to do it.  I'm gonna change your sheets too, so everything will be all clean.  Won't that be nice?" The boy stopped staring at him and tucked his head into his arms, trying to squeeze himself even further into the corner. "Come on Coty, don't you want to get all nice and clean?  Look, what if I gave you...yeah right...Coty, come out of there now.  It's time for a bath.  There aren't any other kids here to bother you, so there's no reason you have to be afraid, understand?  There's no one here but you and me.  Now come on out."  Johnny sighed deeply at the lack of response.  "Fine, I'll get the screwdriver."  He took the bed apart, and was finally able to lay hands on the boy.  The kid screamed and kicked, then folded himself up again.  Johnny felt horrible.  The boy was so obviously afraid, but he couldn't figure out why.  After fifteen minutes of screaming, he left the child alone to cry.  He didn't know what else to do.  He brought him food, but it went untouched.  The night passed a sleepless one for them both and the next day and night were the same.  The boy wouldn't move, much less eat.  Picking up the phone the following morning, he dialed Rampart to warn them that he was bringing the kid in. "Johnny?" Dr. Brackett asked over the ER din. "Yeah, I just wanted--" "I've been meaning to call you but we've been swamped.  How's it going?" "Not good, he stopped eating again and I--" "Can you bring him in Johnny, I really need to talk to you." "Sure, I was going to--" "Good, see you soon." Johnny grabbed a blanket, and after carefully wrapping it around the precious cargo, he picked him up, and took him out to the Rover.  In complete defeat, he drove to Rampart, and carried him inside.  The place was busy, but he found a gurney, and sat him down. "Johnny!" Dr. Brackett shouted down the hall.  "Meet me in my office in five minutes, will ya." "Uh, I have--" "Dixie will take him into three." "But I--" "I got him Johnny," she reassured him, "why don't you go get a cup of coffee while you wait." "But, you don't understand.  He' s really having--" "Go on Johnny, it'll be fine.  Get some coffee, you look like you could use the break." Johnny got a cup of coffee, then made himself comfortable in Dr. Brackett's office. "Johnny, sorry I took so long," Dr. Brackett said opening the door. "No problem doc." "How has it been going?" "Like I said on the phone, not so good." "In what ways?" "He stopped eating again.  Won't touch a thing.  He freaks out at nothing.  He's scared all the time, like he expects...I don't know." "What did he freak out at?" "That's just it, I don't know!  He was fine!  We bought shoes, and he was fine, more than fine.  Then we went to buy some clothes, and he freaked out.  He ran away from me and hid, then he just...he hates me...maybe that's what it is." "I don't think so Johnny.  Didn't they tell you anything about this kid?" "No...it all happened kind of funny.  One lady hinted at something but before I could find out what...she said read his medical records, then that NURSE just...man, I'm was getting a bad scene all the way around, I tell ya.  I forgot to get the records...but I told you--" "I have them right here Johnny.  I had them sent airmail.  It cost a little more, but--" "How much?" "Don't worry about it Johnny, that was my decision.  Johnny, that little boy, along with several other kids...I don't know how to say it other than to say it."  Brackett frowned deeply.  "They were prostituted out." "What?" "They were prostituted out, molested by different people, repeatedly, and for money." "That can't be possible.  This was Colorado, not some seedy...even in a place like that...they don't do children like that, do they?  How could they get away with it?  Where were the parents?" "Sometimes it IS the parent's Johnny, as it was apparently in Coty's case. I have a copy of some Police Reports, and some other files from the...uh...the Boys Center for Growth and Development. her hands on having to do with your kid, and apparently she did.  She even sent along some press clippings." "Can I see what she sent?" "Johnny," Dr. Brackett spoke looking very uncomfortable, "I don't know if that's such a good idea.  Why don't you let me go through everything again and--" "The more I know, the better I'll be able to help him." "That's true, but Johnny--" "I have the right, don't I?" he said, expectantly holding out his hand.  Dr. Brackett handed him a thick envelope, and stood to leave. "What, uh...what am I gonna find in here?" Brackett sat down again.  "Clippings, pictures, reports, and more knowledge about some adults many perversions than you ever could imagine in your worst nightmare.  Pictures, costumes, sexual games, methods of service delivery...some were kidnapped, most were delivered over to this man to pay for drugs." "Ashley?  His mother?" "Yes." "She didn't do the other stuff too, did she?" "It's hard to say Johnny, but it's possible she participated in some of these things." "How...how would they do it?" "Parties, motel delivery--" "Oh god--" Johnny said jumping up and heading for the bathroom.  It was a false warning, and Johnny made his way over to the sink for some water. "You okay?" "I took him to a motel...I took him to a motel!  SO YOU KNOW WHAT HE MUST THINK?  HE'S WAITING FOR ME TO MOLEST HIM!  Oh god, the money.  Oh god why did I SAY that." "What Johnny?" "In the store, he freaked out...when I took him to try on CLOTHES!  I'm so STUPID!  He hid, and some lady asked me how much he cost." "What did you say?" "I told her she couldn't afford him, god you know what that SOUNDS LIKE?" "Johnny, you didn't know." "Everything I DID was wrong.  You know what I did yesterday?  I tried to make him take a bath.  Great, yeah, here, go in here and take your clothes of for me, make yourself nice and clean while...oh god...while I change the sheets.  I'm an IDIOT!" "Johnny." An orderly came in the door to see if anyone needed any help, and Dr. Brackett motioned him back out. "What do I do now?  Everything I said and did was wrong!  Everything I say and do is going to be two sided for him.  He's NEVER gonna trust me.  He's never going to trust ANYONE is he?  It's the adults that he's afraid of!  How on earth do you fix that?" "Time Johnny, and showing him something different." "Time...he's just waiting for me to make a move.  He's just waiting for it.  How much time?  Is there any amount of time that's gonna fix this?" "Yes, time and patience." "You're right...you're right.  I'm sorry.  I just have to show him...over and over, that I'm not going to do anything." "And you can start being more careful of--" "No, that won't work.  Any word, any phrase could mean who knows what to him.  It's like when someone dies, then every one cringes every time they mistakenly bring up death in front of the person's relatives.  It's the cringing that makes it worse.  My grandfather said to never avoid words.  It's by using them that they return to normal.  THAT'S what I've got to do.  Show him normal, show him so much normal that is BECOMES normal.  That's when he'll be all right.  He has to trust me, and learn normal." "Sounds like a plan to me Johnny." "Now how do I do it?" "One step at a time?  With a little help from your friends?" "How many more song titles are you going to tell me doc?" "Song titles?" "Never mind.  I need to go look at that file." "You want me to go with you?" "No." Johnny returned to the office and started to read about things he didn't really understand.  Ropes, suffocation, all sorts of games involving the use of children as a bonus.  He didn't understand it, and he didn't want to.  He knew of straight molestation, usually done by a father or other male adult, but these things included women, and went way beyond anything he had ever heard of.  He found the pictures of his son the night he was found and placed into protective custody with the rest of the children.  He found a clipping about the mother, saying she'd been found, and arrested, then plead down to Child Endangerment in return for her testimony against the man they said was the pimp.  A testimony she never gave since her overly lenient sentence put her on probation, at which point she doped herself up, wrecked her car, and caused her own death.  He also found the doctor's report stating that the child had not been anally penetrated.  Johnny thought for several moments until he realized the statement's significance.  He was glad, the kid had still seen and been through so much.  He cursed the lost years.  He cursed his lack of knowledge of his existence, but he could change nothing.  He could only move forward.  He'd read enough, and he went in search of his son.                          ~/~/~/~/~ Johnny returned to treatment room three, finding Dr. Brackett and Dixie both in the room.  The boy had been cleaned up and placed in a gown, and now laid sleeping with an IV in his arm. "You sedated him," Johnny spoke quietly. Dixie nodded. "What if...what if they drugged them too, and when he wakes up he thinks we--" "Johnny," Dr. Brackett cut him off, "they did...but there was nothing we could do about it.  He was severely dehydrated, and I doubt he'd slept in--" "He didn't.  I know he didn't.  To be honest I'm not sure he's slept at all since I've had him.  He had to have...but...  When can I take him home?" "Why don't we wait till he wakes up.  Like you said, who knows what he's going to think.  Unfortunately, playing doctor was one of their games.  Still, it will probably be better for him to wake up in the same place he fell asleep in." "So we're not going to move him upstairs?" Dixie asked. "Not if we don't have to." "In the mean time Johnny, why don't you go lay down in the breakroom?  You look like you could use some rest as well." "I don't know.  I think I'd rather--" "I'll come get you long before he's awake, word of honor." "All right," Johnny agreed reluctantly as he permitted himself to be pushed out the door. Johnny allowed himself to relax on the wide leather sofa, and soon drifted off to the sound of a soap opera on the television.                      ~/~/~/~/~  Several hours later, Roy followed a gurney down the hall, catching a glimpse of Johnny through the open door as he went.  After he left his patient in the care of Dr. Early, he left the treatment room, and found Dixie at the nurse's desk. "Hey, uh, what's Johnny doing in the lounge, do you know?" "Uhhh, do you know yet?" "What?  The kid?" "Yeah." "Yeah, Joanne told me Saturday.  What happened?  He get into a little accident?" Roy asked grinning from ear to ear, "like father like son." Dixie smiled a little at the joke, despite the real reasons why Johnny was asleep in the lounge. "So what's up?" "This little boy has had a very..hard..life so far." "Really?  Joanne said Johnny mentioned he'd probably been neglected." "Oh it goes far worse than that." "How worse." "You should talk to Johnny, but I will tell you, he and that little boy are going to need all the help they can get." Roy looked back at her, unsure of what to think. "Just be his friend Roy." "I will," Roy told her, utterly confused. Dixie smiled, and after patting him on the hand, left for one of the treatment rooms.  Dwyer came down the hall toward him. "Hey, uh, can you hang out a minute?" "Sure, what's up?" "I just wanna...check on something." "No problem." Roy walked back to the lounge, fingering his handie talkie self-consciously.  As he entered the door, he debated over whether he should wake the obviously tired man.  Roy poured himself a cup of coffee and set the pot down loudly, telling himself if the sound didn't wake him, he'd let him sleep and talk to him another time.  Johnny opened his eyes, so Roy handed him the cup, and poured himself another. "Hey Roy," Johnny yawned. "Hey yourself.  How you doin?" "Fine I guess." "How's the kid?" "Not so good." "Is he sick?" "Not exactly." "Then what?" "You got a minute?" Roy held up his talkie. Johnny nodded in understanding.  Roy had until a tone called him out, no more, no less.  "He uh...he's been abused...beaten...neglected......and molested," Johnny told him quietly. Roy stood with his mouth open, wanting to say something, but nothing came out. Johnny shook his head.  "I didn't know Roy.  If I'd have know...never...never would have happened.  But I can't change it you know?" Roy nodded. "It's going to be all different now.  I've got him and there ain't nobody that's gonna hurt him.  I've just got to show him that." Roy put his cup down and sat down next to Johnny. "You uh...you want to see him?" "Sure," Roy said, forcing a positive smile and following Johnny out of the lounge.  "Joanne said he looks like you." "That's the understatement of the year," Dixie told him as they walked down the hall. "He's asleep right now...so," Johnny warned his friend. Roy nodded, and peered though the door Johnny held open.  His eyebrows raised, and his jaw dropped.  Johnny couldn't help but smile.  "Wow," Roy managed once Johnny had closed the door again. "Told ya," Dixie winked at him. "He really is yours, isn't he." "I told you he was." "Yeah but I thought maybe...never mind." "He really is mine Roy." "Congratulations." Johnny busted out into a full grin, "Thanks!" he said proudly as they started back for the lounge. "Where's my cigar?" "Your cigar?" "Yeah, I gave you one from when Jenny was born." "Roy, that thing was a year old!" "So, I still gave it to you." "It nearly ruined my lungs!" "Excuses, excuses." "Do you really want a cigar?  I've never seen you smoke one." "Well I don't SMOKE 'em, I just keep them in my sock drawer." "Yeah, until some unsuspecting friend shows up, and you stick THEM with 'em." "I never told you to smoke it." "Johnny, I think he's waking up," Dixie told him, coming down the hall after them. Johnny hurried back to his son's room, Roy following respectfully behind.  Just as he'd done before, the child stared back at him.  His arm was taped securely to a board, to keep him from pulling out his IV; and he absent-mindedly tugged at some of the tape. "Hey Coty," Johnny smiled, "feeling better?" Roy looked up at Johnny when the kid didn't answer him.  "He doesn't talk," Dixie whispered, pulling Roy aside. "Can't or--" "We don't know.  No one knows exactly what his living conditions were, or for what periods of time.  It's possible he's never even been to school." Roy looked sympathetically back at his best friend, who had moved closer to the bed.  "You thirsty?" Johnny asked the kid, pouring a soda into a small glass that had been brought in for him. "Tell you what," Dixie stepped forward, "you drink half that glass, and I'll be able to take your IV out, how does that sound?" Coty frowned unhappily, and showed no interest in the drink. Dixie took the glass from Johnny, prepared to use her usual persuasive powers to get the boy to drink.  The terror that came into his face as she stepped up to the bed made her stop, and nearly drop the cup.  In all her years, she had never seen anything like it.  She swallowed hard, and excused herself from the room.  Roy followed behind her.  Johnny grabbed another cup, and poured out the rest of the soda as Dixie had not the presence of mind to leave the cup behind.  He set in on the table, and pushed the table to where the boy could reach it with his other hand. "Take your time, no hurry," Johnny told him before leaving the room himself. "I'm sorry Johnny," Dixie apologized as he approached the desk, "that was very unprofessional." "It's okay Dix," Johnny told her. "What is?" Dr. Brackett asked approaching. "Nothin Doc, Dixie just didn't feel well for a minute." "You okay," Kel asked concerned. "Sure Kel, I'm fine." "How's Coty?" "Awake...afraid," Dixie answered him. Dr. Brackett nodded at the floor, and turned for treatment room three.  Johnny followed him. "Hello there," Brackett spoke to the boy as he opened the door. Coty looked back at him and Johnny. Dr. Brackett picked up the empty soda can.  "Well that's pretty good, drink a little more, and we can take that IV out." "Uh Doc, Dixie has the other half.  He uh...not yet," Johnny told him, taking note or the still full cup on the hospital table. "That's okay.  Tell you what, you drink what you have there, and we'll see what we can do." The boy looked away from them to stare at his blanket. "Is there something else you think he might like?" Dr. Bracket asked Johnny. "It's not the soda Doc, he's just not interested.  Or maybe he thinks...who knows what he might think." Dr. Bracket thought for several moments.  Any other kid, he'd get Dixie to talk to, but this kid wasn't being stubborn or ornery or just trying to be disagreeable.  For whatever reasons he had, he was afraid. "Payback," Dr. Bracket mumbled to himself. "What?" Johnny asked. The Doctor motioned for Johnny to follow him outside.  "I was thinking, in one of the news articles, they said one of the kids mentioned they would have to earn anything they got.  If he takes it, he probably thinks he'll owe us something, and what's the only way he could pay?" "So when I took him to the store, and took him to the changing room..." "Time to pay up." Johnny took a deep breath, closing his eyes.  "Now he..." "Doesn't want any more debt probably." "That's crazy." "It's what he's been taught." "So how do I unteach it." "What did you do before?" "Nothing, I just told him what you'd have to do." "The gastric tube." "Yeah." "You think he know what it is?" "Huh?  I told him it went through his nose to his tummy, I never used the word--" "Maybe payback's not as bad a hospitals." "What do you mean by that?" "I don't know Johnny.  I doubt that's it anyway.  He probably just took a gamble on you, that you wouldn't want payback." "Then between the changing room, and my stupid comment to that lady, and half a dozen other things I did..." "He thinks he was wrong." "Well he wasn't wrong.  Now how do I prove it?" "Tell him," Dixie cut in. "Tell him what?" "Just tell him.  He's eight, and despite the fact he doesn't talk, I think he understands plenty.  Tell him how it's going to be.  Tell him what you want, and what you expect.  Tell him you're not like those people." "Sure, I'll just sit down and have a talk with an eight year old about sex." "Johnny, he knows more than you do." Johnny closed his eyes and shook his head, then strode purposefully back into the treatment room.  Inside, he pulled up a chair and sat down. "Coty," he said, unsure how to start, "I uh...I'm not...I don't...you see...I don't want anything from you.  I'm your dad...and uh...It's my JOB to take care of you." 'Oh man,' Johnny thought 'now he's gonna think you don't want him.' "What I mean is...I...I'm suppose to take care of you.  I WANT to take care of you...cause you're my son.  You'll never owe me anything...if that's what you're thinking.  And as far as the other stuff...I like girls!  Women!  Adult...uh...women.  I don't LIKE boys...I mean...I like boys...I..." 'Man, WHAT am I saying?' "I uh...  Look, I'm never gonna hurt you, okay?  I'll never do anything to hurt..." 'Don't worry little boy, it won't hurt.  I'm a MORON!  Think think think...' "Coty I...I don't do...I'll never do anything bad to you." The boy looked straight at him.  Finally, the right words.  There was no doubt he knew exactly what Johnny was saying. "Those were bad people.  I'm not like that.  I don't do those things.  MOST people aren't like that Coty.  You'll see.  Anything I give you...it's just yours then.  There's no payment, ever.  That's not the way it's suppose to work.  I might give you chores to do later on, but chores are...getting the mail...um...washing dishes some of the time...maybe fold some laundry, take out the trash.  Actually," Johnny added, getting excited about the future, and thinking about how he wanted to raise the boy, "your main chore...well it's not really a chore, but the main thing I'll ever make you do is homework...school work..." The boy looked a little lost. "You...have you ever been to school?" He still looked confused, at which point Johnny became unsure exactly where he had lost him. "The point is I'm on your side, and I don't want to do bad things.  What I do want, is to go home.  So as soon as you drink that soda, they can take that IV out and we can get out of here." Johnny watched for the boy to move, but there was to be no miracle connection between the two.  Johnny waited quietly for several minutes, then slipped into the hallway.  Dixie noticed as the door was closing, the apprehensive little boy took a quick sip of his drink.  Over the next three hours, the soda gradually disappeared, and Dr. Brackett decided to try sending the kid home. Dixie frowned as she watched the small figure trail behind Johnny down the hall and out the door. "Penny for your thoughts Dix," Dr. Brackett offered. "That is one sad little boy," she whispered over her coffee, "there isn't a smile in his whole body."                     ~/~/~/~/~ The next four days passed quietly.  Johnny stayed at home, taking care of his ranch, and giving the kid time to get used to him.  Twice he had laid out clean clothes, and twice Coty had changed into them, but only after waiting for Johnny to go down the stairs to start breakfast.  This morning returned him to an earlier problem, he wanted the kid to bath.  Taking the clean clothes into the bathroom this time, along with a towel, he left them there, and went to wake his child. Just as every morning before, he found the boy not in the bed, but under it. "Hey you, it's morning," Johnny greeted, smiling as the kid rubbed his eyes and he realized the child had actually been asleep.  "Come on out." The kid crawled out and stood before him, undisturbed by this now routine. "Okay, follow me." Now he frowned.  What was this follow me business?  Still, he followed. "This is the tub, the shower turns on here, or you use this plug and fill it up.  There is your shampoo, and a washcloth, a towel and your clothes....today is bath day.  Make sure you rinse your hair good, or it'll start to itch.  I'll check it once your get down stairs to make sure you got it all out.  Let me set the water temp before I go.  All right, you either pull this up for the shower, or push in the plug for the bath.  I'm sure you can figure out how to turn it off.  Okay?...okay." Johnny headed downstairs, not sure of WHAT would happen.  He grinned from ear to ear when he heard the door close and lock, and the shower lever switch up.  At the very least, the kid was going to try it.  Fifteen minutes later, Coty came down the stairs, hair dripping on the floor and on to his shirt, but very clean.  He went to plop himself down in his usual spot. "Uh uh, breakfast is already ready." Dripping his way over to the stool he started to eat, without waiting for Johnny to finish and leave the counter first. "Where's your towel?"  Johnny asked. Coty took a drink of milk and looked up at him, but gave no show of an answer. "Hey uh, next time, dry it before you comb it...your hair.  I'm gonna to get your towel." At the top of the stairs, his eyes popped out.  'Guess I should have told him to put the curtain on the INSIDE of the tub...well, at least I won't have to wash the floor in here for a couple years.'  Johnny fetched some towels, and started to clean up.  'Wait a minute...uh uh.' "Coty, come up here please," Johnny shouted after waiting on the top step for the kid to finish eating. The boy paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Come on...'sokay...got to show you something."  'Yeah, that sounded good,' Johnny chastised himself. "The shower curtain has to...let me show you." Coty climbed the stairs as if going to the electric chair. "Come oooon," Johnny teased, "it's okay.  All right, this goes in here next time, that way the water stays in the tub.  Now, you made the mess, you clean it up.  I'll help you this time, cause you didn't know." In a few minutes, the bathroom had been unflooded, and the towels lay in a heap by the door.  Coty turned to leave the room. "Wait, there's another thing you got to start doing, but I want you to do it at night, every night.  This is your toothbrush.  This is the toothpaste.  Now if you know this stuff, stop me so I don't look like an idiot.  Okay, every night before you go to bed, this is what you need to do, watch me.  You go like this...and like this..." Johnny said around his own toothbrush, "and clean your mouth everywhere, even your tongue, got it?  Then in the morning, what I do...see, is to rinse with mouthwash.  That way you get freshened up, just in case you uh...well in case you...it makes you smell better.  All right, now can you do all of that?" Johnny beamed as the kid obeyed.  When he finished, Johnny scooped up the towels, and headed downstairs.  On the way, he dropped two, and was overjoyed when his son picked them up and followed him to the laundry room. He had to make a phone call, so he sat down in his recliner in the living room, and dialed the table phone.  The day was warm and bright, and the sun danced on the carpeting beneath the window.  After planting himself down in his usual spot in the middle of the floor, Coty inched his way over to the golden patch of light until it surrounded him.  He laid down to rest his cheek against the warmth, and was soothed to sleep.  Johnny grinned from ear to ear.  His son was actually sleeping in his presence. As Johnny talked on the phone, a creature rounded the corner of the kitchen, and made his way over to the sunshine that was rightfully his.  He sniffed at the lump in his way, and crouched down, wiggling his but. "Bu, NO!" Johnny whispered sharply, wanting to stop the creature that had managed to slip into the house undetected before he scared the child half out of his wits.  He stood to chase the old tom away, but the phone would only reach so far.  "Shoo," he hissed, but the green eyes ignored him. The large cat crept around the head of his prey, sniffing at the freshly washed hair.  Again he wiggled, but to Johnny's surprise, it wasn't to pounce, but to snuggle.  His nasty old cat, the one that ran for the hills at every arrival of the bouncy young Jennifer, who hissed and swatted at not only Roy's son Chris but at Roy himself, who was labeled a watch dog in disguise by Chet, and called a one man cat my Mike, curled up right next to the sleeping boy as if he was his own personal property and began to purr.  The boy's eyes opened at the vibration against his stomach, and Johnny held his breath.  Coty gazed at the furry monster in wonder as it gently nipped at his nose before giving it a lick.  Johnny swore he saw the beginning of a smile, but it faded before arriving.  Still, the boy lifted his hand and stroked the cat's soft back, barely making contact as he did so.  The purring grew louder, and the boy closed his eyes once more. "Hello?" the voice asked again on the phone. "Oh uh, yeah I'm here, what didja want?" "You called me!" "Oh, uh...how much are your mattresses again?" Johnny wrote the information down and hung up the phone.  He had decided on getting his son a twin sized mattress, and he'd wanted to make sure they had good one's in the right size before he asked Roy to borrow his truck again.  As he went to look for his keys, the cat jumped up and followed him. "What are you doin in here you old monster.  Is he okay?  Do you like him?  You must.  I wondered what it would take to melt your ornery heart."  The tom jumped up on the counter, and brushed against his arm.  "Fine, so long as you're nice, I won't lock you out anymore.  I wonder if I should try him with Shawnao.  That poor dog doesn't know WHAT'S going on." The cat twitched his tail, and pushed Johnny's keys off the counter. "Smart alec, I knew they were there," Johnny laughed, picking his keys up off the floor, and putting them in his pocket.  He rubbed the cat's ears as he watched his sleeping son.  "Hey Coty...Coty..." The boy sat up and gazed sleepily back. "Come on, I need to get you into school come Monday, so if we don't get the shopping done now, we'll have to go tomorrow, and it's ten times busier on Saturdays.  You can't pay me to set foot inside a store on a Saturday, so let's get goin."                        ~/~/~/~/~ Chet dropped the hose nozzle he was polishing on to the couch as Johnny walked into the day room followed by his shadow. "Hey Chet," Johnny smiled at him, "you know where Roy is?" "Yeah sure," Chet answered, jumping up, and hurrying to the door Johnny had just come through. "You don't have to get him Chet, I just--" "Hey Marco," Chet shouted out into the Bay, "come look at this, it's Gage and Little Gage!" "Cute Chet," Johnny laughed. "Hey there little guy," Chet smiled reaching to mess up the boy's hair.  Before Johnny could get out a word in warning, he drew back crying out in pain over his bit hand. "What's the matter with you?" Marco asked hurrying into the room with Roy right behind him. "That little monster bit me!" Marco looked at the tiny boy and tried not to smile. "Look Chet, I'm sorry.  You shouldn't ah--" "Oh it's MY fault...right, try to be friendly to the little guy and-- "What's going on in here?" Cap asked moving Roy to the side to get into the room. "THAT," Chet asserted, pointing at the child with his good hand. "Well hello," Cap spoke happily, "I was wondering when I'd get to meet you.  I'm Captain Stanley." "Ah Cap, he's a little shy," Johnny cut in, stepping in front of his kid as the Captain started to offer his hand to shake. "Oh that's all right, my youngest was as shy as they come." "Did he bite people too?" Chet whined. "Did he bite people?  No he didn't bite people, why did you ask that?" "Cause that one--" "Look Chet, I SAID I was sorry!" "He bit Chet?" Chet showed him his wound. "Oh, I guess he did," Cap said impressed. "Here," Roy cut in, "you better let me take a look at that." "FINALY! A little sympathy!" Chet said following Roy out into the Bay so Roy could get some things out of the compartment on the squad.  Everyone else followed behind, including Coty, trying to stay near the man that said he was his father. "Well what did you do to him Kelly?" Cap asked as Roy started to clean off the bite with peroxide. "Nothing Cap, I just--" Captain Stanley reached down to pick the boy up and set him on the hood of the squad so he wouldn't be crowed out by all the long black legs, and was immediately bit himself. onto part 4