"MOM?!" he shouted into the phone after he'd dialed it again. "Chris, what is it?!" "Uncle Johnny's hurt bad and we need dad NOW!" he cried grabbing a pencil and dropping the phone. "Chris?" she called over the line, but he was long gone. "I got it!" Chris shouted sliding to his knees beside Coty back in the barn.  "I called dad and the Paramedics too.  Now what?!" "I need help getting the string around his leg." "Okay." Coty removed his hands and the blood began to spurt again.  He struggled hard to lift the leg while Chris held the string, but he could barely budge it.  Finally he dropped back to his knees and leaned on his fathers leg again.  "I CAN'T DO IT!  YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIFT IT!" "Okay, are you ready?!" "Yeah!" "GO!" Chris told him as he handed off the shoelace and struggled to lift the leg himself.  He couldn't believe how heavy it was.  Coty managed to get the string underneath and Chris let go of the leg with a sigh.  Coty tied the string and leaned on the leg to stop the spurting again. "Now what?" "Put it under and start turning it!" Chris did as he was told and turned the pencil until the shoelace was snug against the leg. "More!" Coty ordered. "It's gotta be more where your hands are I think!" Coty moved over and Chris tightened some more. "Okay, try letting go," Chris told him.  Coty cautiously let up and blood did not spurt out again. "Tie it in place with your other shoelace," Coty ordered taking over the string.  Chris took off his other shoe and removed the lace.  "We'll have to lift it again," he said reluctantly. "Forget it then, just hold it for me for a while," Coty puffed feeling weak and drained. Both boys finally had the time to breath for a moment.  Coty looked at his father's face as a siren became audible in the distance. "He looks like the kitten," he whispered to himself noticing the lack of color, even in his father's lips.  "He looks just like the kitten." Chris waved his free hand madly back and forth to signal the squad that pulled into the driveway.  Craig Brice drove all the way over to the barn and jumped out.  It took him less than a second to assess the situation and start grabbing the gear he would need, if it wasn't too late. Coty watched the man work as he pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face. 'This isn't happening,' he told himself, 'I'm not here.  I'm not doing this anymore...I QUIT!  I'm not doing it!" Within ten minutes, Brice and Bob Bellingham had Johnny packaged up and ready to go. 'I'm dead too...I want to die now.  How do I die?  I have to stop breathing.  I just have to stop breathing.'  Over and over Coty held his breath, telling himself if he could make it to a hundred, he would be dead.  All he had to do was make it to a hundred, but time and again he failed.  'Come on die you stupid idiot!  You have to die now!' he cursed at himself.  Voices spoke around him, but he blocked them out focusing on trying to die. "What do we do?" Bob asked looking at the boy of stone. "We better bring him in too, he's probably in shock.  Did you get any vitals on him?" Bellingham dropped the BP cup in frustration, "YOU try to get it around his arm." "All right forget it.  Is he breathing okay?" "I can't tell, he keeps holding it." Craig frowned.  "Just put him in the ambulance." "How do I pick him up?" "Just pick him up!" Bob rolled his eyes and tried to lift Coty by the arms.  Just as he figured, the boy stayed in the exact same position he had been in while sitting on the ground.  "How does he do that?" Bob muttered as he carried him over and set him down on the ambulance bench seat.  "You wanna ride in front Chris?" "Yeah," Chris agreed before he saw Roy's pickup racing down the driveway toward them. "What happened?" Roy asked jumping out of the truck. "Loft came down, he's lost a lot of blood," Bob said filling him in. "Is he gonna be okay?" Bellingham looked away and shrugged. "Where's Chris?" "Right here," Chris answered jumping out of the ambulance. "And Coty?" Again Bellingham shrugged. "Did he get hurt?" "Not physically." "Well is he all right?" "I guess, if you call being a statue all right." "He was fine until the squad got here," Chris told him, "then he started acting all weird." "All right, I'll take Chris and meet you there." "There's not going to be anything you can do Roy," Brice cut in as he jumped into the back of the ambulance. "See you in a bit," Bob told him quietly, patting him on the shoulder.  He closed the ambulance doors, gave them two pats, and it was off; it's siren wailing it's way to the hospital.                       ~/~/~/~/~ Dr. Morton scratched his head at the child in treatment room three.  He had never seen anything like it before.  He felt certain the child had somehow managed to put himself into a catatonic state.  In his mind there could be no other that way a child, or anyone else, could pull himself up into such an uncomfortable looking position, and remain unmoving for hours.  No amount of coaxing or bribery could even get the boy to lift his head.  It was to his great relief when Dr. Brackett walked in the door. "How's Gage?" Dr. Morton asked. "Joe's taken him down to surgery," Dr. Brackett told him in a hushed voice as he looked at the kid. "So he's stable now?" "For the time being, yes.  You get vitals on him yet?" "How?" Morton asked defensively. Brackett let out a deep breath and walked over to the table himself.  He had last seen Coty just that morning, and he hadn't had one problem with him.  "Coty, lift up your head for just a second for me please."  He tugged gently up, trying to lift his chin, but the tension in the boy's muscles kept it from moving in the least. "See?" Morton told him. "How long has it been?" "Three and a half hours since they brought them in." Dr. Brackett sighed at the floor in deep thought.  "Have you tried to get a hold of anyone in Psyche?" "Is that what he needs?" Morton asked picking up the phone. "I don't know, but it can't hurt to get an opinion.  Is he holding his breath?!" Morton nodded, "he keeps doing that."                      ~/~/~/~/~ Psyche diagnosed Coty as having placing himself into a semi-catatonic state, and suggested he be sedated.   Dr. Brackett frowned at the diagnosis, but agreed with the treatment.  It was a struggle to get the needle into the boy's rigid arm, and he hoped it didn't hurt him too badly.  At first he resisted the medication, trying to keep himself balled up tight, but soon he allowed himself to roll forward and lay down with his legs folded up underneath him. Dixie came in order to check on him and whisper to him quietly.  She wanted to reassure him everything would be all right, but the surgery upstairs was taking a long time.  She found herself avoiding the subject of Johnny all together, not wanting to tell the boy he would be fine, only to have to come back later and tell him he had died.  Roy found a magazine article about Alaska out in the waiting room, and decided to come in and read it to him.  He knew how much Coty loved the outdoors.  If the boy listened at all, he couldn't tell, but he continued to read for hours, just in case.  For a minute he started to wonder what he'd do if Johnny didn't make it.  This child hadn't another soul in the world, and he was his best friends son.  Still, now he had his own new baby on the way.  Could he handle having four kids?  Would Social Services even let him have Coty?  Roy pinched his eyes trying to put off thinking about it, and went back to reading. Brackett came into the room and took a look at the kid still laying on his folded up legs.  "I can't stand it anymore, give me a hand," Dr. Brackett said to Roy.  He grabbed a pillow to put under Coty's head and together they managed to roll him to lay on his side.  They found a sheet to lay over him, hoping they could make hem feel more comfortable.  Coty didn't resist the changes, but neither did he open his eyes.  Once they were finished, Roy followed the doctor outside. "Any news yet on--" "Yeah I was coming to tell you.  They're finished.  They've moved him down to CCU." "And?" "They don't yet.  He lost a lot of blood." Roy breathed deeply to steady himself.  "Do you think we should take Coty up to see him?" "No.  With the way he looks right now...we'd probably make things worse.  Besides, they'd never allow it." Roy nodded wishing there was something he could do to try and help make things better, but there was nothing. A few days passed and father and son both remained unchanged.  Coty was moved to a room of his own with random check ups by psyche.  They were at a loss for how to reach a kid who didn't even seem to know when someone else was in the room.  Again the idea of taking him to see his father came up, and again it was nixed due to the condition he was still in.  Roy looked at his unconscious partner wondering if he'd ever open his eyes.  If only he knew how much he was needed.  If he didn't make it, Roy was sure two lives would be lost.  It was just too soon to expect Coty to just be able to trust anyone else, and with the loss of the only person he did trust, he doubted the boy would ever open himself up to it again. Roy picked up his friends cold and clammy hand.  He seemed to be healing, but he was still very weak.  As he ran his fingers lightly against Johnny's palm, his eyelids fluttered open. "Hey," Roy encouraged with a smile. Johnny took a shallow breath and closed his eyes again.  Roy didn't mind, it was a start.  A few more days passed and he mostly slept,  but Johnny did advance to being able to sit up in bed and eat some jello.  His questions about the welfare of Chris and his son came frequently and unending.  At first he seemed sure both of them had been hurt as well.  Everyone did their best to deflect his questions with half answers, not wanting the man to start worrying about his son before he was strong enough to see him.  On Coty's part, if it was possible, he'd become more and more withdrawn. Johnny pushed the jello away refusing to eat anymore. "Now come on Johnny," Dixie chastised him during her break, "how do you expect to get your strength back it you don't try and eat." "I'm not hungry, I hate jello, and I want to see my son." "You know he's not allowed up here." "Then move me to a regular ward...I'm fine now." "I'll ask Kel for you okay?" "Have you guys been sending Coty to school?  Did he get beat up again?  Is that why nobody's telling me anything?" "Coty hasn't been going to school.  You don't have to worry about that," she answered happy that the words were truthful without saying too much. "I really wanna see him." "I know you do Johnny and I'll talk to Kel about that too, now if you're not going to eat anymore, try and get some rest." "I'm not tired," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and fell back asleep.                        ~/~/~/~/~ "I don't think so Dix," Dr. Brackett answered setting his cup of coffee down on the counter, "not yet." "He's just gonna keep asking until he drives everybody up there out of their minds." "They can move him to a regular ward, but not yet." "But what about Coty?" "How much good do you think it's going to do him if Johnny's see the condition he's in, and it sets him back.  The smallest infection or too much stress...he's got a long way to go first Dix." "I know he does, but he knows something's up.  Is letting him sit there and wonder about it gonna be any better for him?" "He shouldn't be sitting there thinking, he should be sleeping, and if he's not, I'll knock him out so fast he won't know what hit him!" "He's asleep Kel but still." "A few more days Dix." "All right, you're the doctor."                       ~/~/~/~/~ "You should have told he," Johnny growled trying to get out of the bed. "Now that's exactly why we DIDN'T tell you," Brackett said pushing him back down.  "You don't put any weight on that leg until I give you permission, understand?" "Then you bring him here!" Johnny said evenly. "We'll work something out.  But please don't expect he's just going to open up again the moment he sees you.  This whole thing has rattled him badly, so don't try and push him too fast." "Don't tell me how to handle my son.  I'm the one who's been living with him these past several month's, not you." "Stay off the leg," Brackett reminded him as he left through the door. "Is he sedated?" Johnny asked half an hour later as they wheeled Coty on a gurney. "Nothing since last night.  I want to do it as little as possible." "Coty..." Johnny called to his unmoving statue.  "Coty look at me." "There's you dad Coty," Dixie encourage hoping to get a reaction, "see, he's gonna be just fine now." The room grew silent as everyone's eyes fixed on the boy. "I think everybody should clear out," Johnny all but ordered.  Once alone, he carefully snagged the boy by the shirt and dragged him off on to his bed.  He looked at him thoughtfully, wondering where in his mind he had gone.  Instead of trying to talk to him, he pulled the boy close and just hugged him as best as he could, rubbing his back and his head.  For an hour he stared into space, never letting go of the child.  Dixie peeked in for a moment before ducking out again.  No one else had any answers to reach the boy, and she felt it would be best to just leave them alone. Eventually Coty came out a little at a time.  His face stayed fixed in a frown and he ate only begrudgingly.  He would talk to no one, and respond to no physical touch.  For hours he'd stare off into space, the same angry look forever on his face. "A penny for your thoughts," Roy asked one day shortly after Coty had been taken back to his own room. "Wouldn't be enough." "Huh?" "I'm gonna be off work now for most of the summer and I'm completely out of sick time and vacation time." "It'll work out." "How?" Roy shrugged at a loss for what to say. "The horses are gonna have to go and Mike's just gonna have to accept that." "What's he got to do with it?" "Nothing!  And it was really none of his business in the first place!" "He probably just didn't want to see you let them go is all.  He just--" "I know I know...I'm not MAD at him I just...I've GOT to do something!" "Yeah," Roy agreed quietly.  The room grew silent as his partner frowned out the window, the gears in his mind turning. "When you ah...when you taking that test?" "The Captain's test?" Roy asked feeling glad that Johnny seemed to be changing the subject. "Yeah." "Couple weeks.  I'm getting pretty nervous about it.  I've been studying like mad." Again the room grew silent until Roy felt uncomfortable.  "Well I uh..." he stammered about to make his excuses and leave. "Roy?" "Yeah?" "Do you think you could get me some copies of those manuals?" "The Captain's manuals?" "Yeah." "Sure but...it's in a couple of weeks Johnny." "I know." Roy nodded his head and patted Johnny on his uninjured knee.  "I'll uh...I'll see what I can do." Johnny nodded his understanding and went back to looking out the window.                         ~/~/~/~/~ "Well of course he can borrow 'em Roy," Cap said at the station the next morning, "but...he doesn't really have his heart set of making it THIS time does he?  I mean--" "I don't know.  I don't think so.  He's not stupid.  He just asked if I could get him some.  Maybe he's just curious and wants something to read while he's laid up." Cap shook his head.  "Well go ahead and take them to 'im." "Thanks Cap." Thanks to Chet's eavesdropping, the  rumor that John Gage was going to take the Captains exam with only two weeks of studying ran like wildfire through the entire Las Angeles Department.  Nobody believed he could pass it.                           ~/~/~/~/~ That same day it was decided that Johnny was strong enough to leave the hospital and he took Coty with him.  The following morning Joanne found a letter in her mailbox asking Chris to take care of the horses everyday until school started again, along with a promise of finding a way to pay him for it later.  Roy and Joanne both helped Chris when they could, but he was determined to do most of the work on his own.  Where they had gone and for how long, nobody knew other than the vague reference about school starting again. The day of the test Roy was only half surprised see Johnny walk in, two pencils in his hand, sharpened and ready. "Where have you been?" Roy asked though from the smoky smell on his clothes he could tell he'd apparently been off camping.  On the other hand he was happy to see Johnny was still using his crutches. Johnny shrugged in response, tired from two solid weeks of teaching his son math out in the woods while studying his own books right along side of him.  As usual, Coty did what ever he was told to do, but Johnny could not order him to love him, or willingly hug him back. 'You okay?" Roy asked seeing a dark look cross his friends face. "Fine." "There's a lot of stuff to learn, huh?" "Sure is." "You uh..." "Don't worry about it Roy.  I figure it can't hurt to have a practice run...find out what it's like..." "Yeah." "Okay gentleman, find a seat and we'll begin!" an obnoxiously happy man announced.                        ~/~/~/~/~ Captain Hank Stanley, filling in for Captain Hookrader, shuffled through the new paper work on his desk.  As he did so, a certain letterhead on a couple pages stapled together caught his eye. "Roy?" he said into the phone a moment later, "you sittin down pall?" "Why, what happened." "Nothing bad...you just made it is all." "Made what?" "What do you think?" "I MADE IT?  REALLY?  I MADE IT?" "Yeah you made it, congratulations pall!" "Thanks!" "Uh...any chance you know where Johnny is?" "How bad did he do?" "Bad?  He tied in fifth right along with Bellingham." "He made it?!" "Yep!" "I don't believe it." "Well you know how he is once he sets his mind to something." "He must not have slept the entire two weeks," Roy said slightly awed. "You know where he is?" "No.  I figured he go home after the test but...Chris said he never showed.  I guess he went back camping again.  Maybe he figures if he can't work, he may as well put all of his time into Coty.  Besides, it probably allowed him to study better without having any interruptions.  So he made Captain...that should help him out a lot once he's able to get back to work again." "Mike mentioned something about that.  He was going to sell the horses?" "Yeah, but now maybe he won't have to." "Well that's good." "I don't know how he'll feel about not being a Paramedic anymore though, he loves that too." "Yeah he does.  If there's one thing you can say about Johnny, it's that he likes his job....what about you?" "Well...part of me's excited...happy...really happy actually.  But..." "There's a part that's sad too." "Yeah." "Well I don't have to tell you how much we're gonna miss you guys around here." "Thanks Cap." "No I mean it Roy, really.  It's not gonna be the same, you know?" "So it'll be different...it don't mean it won't be good.  We'll see you around... at fires and stuff...at the picnics...and we can always have our own get togethers.  Just think, Chet will probably get some brand new young Paramedic to torture.  That'll be fun won't it?" "You think he'll be as gullible as Gage was?" "Nobody's as gullible as Johnny was.  He walked into more traps..." "Yeah," Hank laughed.  "Well your commencement will be next week.  You think you can find him by then?" "Well I can sure try."                          ~/~/~/~/~ Johnny stared at his son who sat staring into the fire.  With the test over with, he no longer had anything to do but wonder what was going on in his son's head.  With nothing else to do himself, Coty had long since memorized his times tables, and could now multiply large numbers, writing them out long hand.  Using another potato metaphor, Johnny had gotten him started in learning now to divide.  The boy would write what he was suppose to, but there was no enthusiasm when he succeeded in getting the answer right, and no sorrow when he failed.  Even some playful chipmunks scampering across their camp and trying miserably to steal a carrot, far too large for either of them to carry, could not get a reaction out of the boy.  Johnny hopped over  and broke their carrot in half, then hopped back to his log and waited for them to return.  Two minutes later they did, each carrying off their own piece. "Now that's what I call team work," Johnny grinned at his son.  The boy looked away. "Get your daypack," Johnny said grabbing a canteen and his crutches. Coty reached over the two inches to put his hand on what was already next to him and then let it go. "Put the fire out," Johnny ordered as he sat again to retie his bootlace. Coty did as bid and sat down again. "Put it on and come on," Johnny requested firmly. Coty picked up his pack with a sigh and trailed along behind him. Johnny hiked to the bottom of a high ridge and looked for the easiest way up.  Finding a path that required some climbing but didn't look too difficult, he turned back to his son.  "You think you can get up there?" he asked pointing. With very little effort, Coty scampered up to the top and looked down. Johnny took a deep breath, and after setting down his crutches, he started the climb himself.  Reaching the top, he smiled and wiped the sweat from his forehead.  "Boy...I'll be glad when this heals up."  Johnny inspected the wound in the bright sunlight and was happy to find it was now time he started to try and use it again.  Still, it'd be another few days at least before he could walk on it a lot.  "Sit down," he ordered trying to sit cross legged, but then allowing the injured leg to stick more of less straight out instead.  Coty sat cross legged like his father attempted to do. "All right...now...I have something I want to give to you.  It's just a little stone but...well it's sort of a stone.  It's a little piece of amber, see?" Johnny said holding it up to the sun.  "It's perfectly clear so you can see through it." Johnny dropped his arm and held it in his hand when Coty didn't appear to be watching.  Taking a string from his pocket, he threaded it through a small hole that had already been made through the top part of the stone. "The thing about this you see, is when you look through it...everything looks like it's glowing...cause of it's color...see?" he asked looking up from his work. Coty stared into the distance, not looking at anything. "I know you're not mad at me Coty.  I wish you'd stop acting like you are." Coty's face showed a definite reaction, though he still would not look at him. "Do you know how I know?  My mother's telling me so." Coty shot him a narrow eyed angry glance and looked away. "I know she's dead Coty.  Part of her is anyway...but not the part that's important." Johnny held up the stone in front of one of his eyes and looked at the world around him. "There is a part of everyone that glows.  Some people would call it your soul...other's would just say it's your spirit.  That's the part of you that's important.  The rest of it's just your body." Johnny angled his head, trying to see if Coty was listening.  "People can have a really great looking body, but not such a nice spirit...and vice versa.  Say when you meet somebody...what you should really look for is their spirit.  In some people...like you...it's easy to see...it glows a lot.  You try to hide it I know...but I can always see it.  That's how I know you're good.  That's how I know I love you." Coty dropped his eyes to the ground from looking at the horizon. "We talked about love before, how it's something that you just feel...it's the spirit of the other person that we're feeling.  Not the body.  The body can go away and the love will always be there." Coty's turned his face up to look at the man, uncertain what to feel. "Here," Johnny said placing the stone around his neck, "it's not magic...it's just to remind you of what I just told you.  I can't tell you this body is never gonna die.  It will, and my spirit will move on.  When it does though, a part of it will live on in you, just as a part of my mom lives on in me.  If I listen quietly, I can hear her sometimes...and so it will be with you.  I don't know when I'm gonna die Coty...you may even die first.  But I don't want it to be something you're afraid of.  I know that sounds like a contradiction...being that I'm a Paramedic and...try to save lives, but...it's not.  What I do is try to help people live the lives they have as long as they can.  We have life, so I'm sure there's a reason for it.  And...when people get hurt, they can be in a lot of pain...and I like being able to help them.  To help make them feel better or get them to someone who can.  I guess I'm starting to ramble now huh?" "If I die first, will I get to go live in you?" Coty asked sending Johnny to the floor. "Yes...if you love me...then a part of you will definitely live on in me." Coty lifted the stone and looked through it for several moments, up at an eagle in the sky.  When the bird flew from his sight, he dropped his face back down toward his lap.  "I don't WANT you to die," he told him quietly. "I don't want to die any time soon either...and I'll be careful to try not to.  I don't think it'll happen for quite a long while yet...but what ever does happen to us...we're in this together.  One way or another, we're going to be together,  so don't ever shut me out again, okay?..... I love you." Coty raised his head and crawled into his father's lap.  Their tears mixed with a soft rain that started and helped to cleanse the pain out of their spirits.  Thunder cracked and lighting flashed as a bigger began to roll in. "Oh boy," Johnny laughed as the sky opened up wide, "Come on Coty, let's get out of here!"  The two drenched bodies slid down the path and raced for their tent.  Both were laughing as they crawled inside and listened to the storm rage on.  Neither could have been happier, sitting with only each other for company, eating cold beans and hard biscuits and the stormed continued for days. "Johnny are you in there?!" Roy's voice shouted early one morning. Johnny stopped working his leg and held still, certain he must be imagining things. "Johnny?!" Johnny unzipped his tent letting a great deal of unwanted water in, making Coty squeal as he tried to pull the sleeping bags back to keep them from getting soaked.  Dripping water from every part of his body, Roy stood outside the door. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Johnny cried with a smile. "I've been looking for you for days!" "Well get IN here!" "Oh no!" Coty laughed as the drenched man joined them inside.  Johnny did his best not to laugh as well, but soon found himself giggling at the condition his friend was in.  "Now uh...do you wanna tell me what is so all fired up important as to bring you out in this weather looking for the likes of ME!" "Your Captain's commencement is in three hours," Roy told him matter of fact as he heard the rain outside stop.  "Oh great, do you believe that?" "What?!" "Five more minutes and I could have told you without getting soaked to the skin.  Four days of rain and NOW it stops!" "No...no...the first part." "The commencement.  Yeah junior, we've got...two hours and fifty-seven minutes to make it, so come on!" "So...you're telling me I made it." "YEAH, I'm telling you you made it!  Joanne got your uniform using the same sizes of the one you left at the house a while back, so it should fit you just fine.  The hat might be a little big cause I couldn't remember how big your head is, but I figure with all that hair of yours it should fit you anyway." "I really did it...I'm gonna be a Captain.  Nope...I don't feel a thing.  It's not sinking in at all." "It will.  Now let's get going." Since no other family members would be present, Johnny decided to drop Coty off at the house.  The boy flopped down on his dry cot, quite glad to be home.  Shawnao danced around wanting to be fed, and the kittens squalled out in the yard.  Roy had gone home to change and Johnny's own uniform was laid out neatly on his couch.  He hurriedly put it on and paused to look at his son.  He was doing this for him, and he was determined to have no regrets. "I'll be back in a few hours, okay?  Make yourself something to eat." "I will." "I love you Coty." "I love you too dad!" Johnny smiled as he headed out for the commencement that would again change his life.                       ~/~/~/~/~ Captain Gage smiled as he made breakfast.  It was his son's first day back to school and his first day back to work...even if it would be at a different station with different people.  Unlike before, he laid nothing out for his boy to wear the previous evening having decided to let Coty pick out his own school clothes.  The Vaseline in the bathroom for the boy's hair had been put permanently away. Coty came down the stairs, his new backpack in hand.  He wore bluejeans and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.  Johnny noticed he also wore his hiking boots instead of a pair of sneakers, but he said nothing.  If Coty wasn't going to be dictated to by the other kids about what he should wear, then Johnny would stand by him all the way.  Some extra groceries had mysteriously found their way into their refrigerator, seemingly about the same time his Captains uniform had been dropped off.  So, the two of them were able to enjoy pecan pancakes for their morning meal.  He'd remember to thank Joanne later with some flowers when he got his first Captain's paycheck. "You ready," Johnny asked once they had eaten and put the clean dishes away. "You scared?" Coty asked looking through his stone and noticing his father's glowing form looked a little shaky. "Yeah," Johnny admitted, "you?" "Yeah." "If you need me...you have the number of the new station." "Right here," Coty assured him patting his pocket. "Oh wait a minute, I forgot somethin'."  Johnny opened a drawer and pulled out a small paper bag and handed it to Coty. "Sunglasses?" "Yeah." "They're just like yours." "I know, 'cept their kid sized.  I saw them at the drug store and thought, why not...I just got one heck of a raise." "Are we rich now?" "Noooo no," Johnny laughed, "far from it...but I think we're gonna do just fine." Johnny dropped his son off for his first day of fourth grade and watched until he'd made it into the school.  A week earlier the school had tested Coty after having missed half of summer school and decided to keep him in the grade he was originally going to be placed in after the previous school year.  With the protection of his sunglasses, Coty walked with his head up, able to look at everyone in the eyes.  Having grown like the rest of them over the summer, many of the kids didn't immediately recognize him, and he heard a few of them whisper to each other behind his back about the new student.  The kids in room two twenty-seven buzzed with the excitement of their fist day.  Rumors about their teacher flew freely back and fourth as they always  did.  Chris watched happily as Coty took a seat at the front of the room right next to the windows.  Until then, there had been no one else in the room that he seemed to know.  He picked up his bag and moved to sit next to him.  Coty gazed out the window and didn't notice.  A couple of girls giggled at them as them passed and Chris rolled his eyes. "All right everyone take a seat," their teacher ordered the moment he stepped in the door. "Oh no!  Not him!" Chris thought as he recognized the dreaded male Social Studies teacher that he'd encountered under the worst circumstances the year before. "As I'm sure all you...or most of you know, this year is going to be a little different than the ones you have had before.  You will have different teachers for different subjects, and the subject in here is Social Studies.  However, this is also your homeroom, so don't forget where you live," he said laughing at his own joke. Several of the kids groaned. "All right now let's get down to business." 'Please don't make us sit alphabetically, please don't make us sit alphabetically,' Chris chanted in his mind. "..don't believe in alphabetical seating.  If you're not already there, I suggest you move now to where you can learn best.  Yes I said learn, and not talk or pass notes." Several of the kids stood up to move and Chris debated over whether or not to return to the back row.  But when Coty didn't budge, neither did he. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered under his breath.  Never before had he deliberately sat in the front row. Later as they moved to Reading, he again thought about sitting in the back, but found himself sitting next to Coty again as he figured in Reading this year, he'd really have to try to pay attention. In Science class he didn't have a choice since as the kids were filing in, the teacher was laying down index cards on the desks to have the kids sit in alphabetical order.  By default, Coty was placed in the back, while he sat second row from the front.  One look around the room and the female teacher quickly changed her mind.  "No no...this isn't going to work at all," she said pushing her glassed back up her nose and looking again at her seating chart.  "Is he really in the fourth grade," she muttered to herself.  "Coty Gage?" she called out. Coty had to tilt himself half way out into the isle in order to see her.  While he had grown respectably, he was still easily the smallest kid in their class. "So you're not lost.  For a second I thought a second grader had wandered in here." The class laughed and Coty blushed. "Well you can't sit back there!  You," she said pointing at the boy right next to Chris, "switch with him." "Thanks for being so short Coty Gage, I owe you one," the boy grinned as they traded places, delighted he'd been moved to the back row. "Teacher?" a girl asked raising her hand, "my mom says I have to sit in the front row until I get my glasses." The girl was far from small and Chris was sure the teacher was about to compromise by putting her in the second row, right in Chris's seat.  Instead she placed her in the front row next the wall where her height wouldn't be as big of a problem for the rest of the kids behind her. Their next class was math, which also had alphabetical seating, and again Coty and the other boy were told to switch places.  The girl was also moved, but this time to the window row.  Chris saw Coty's face as she sat down and blocked his view of a large oak tree just outside, and started to giggle helplessly.  Coty looked at him realizing he'd caused it, and tried not to laugh himself by holding his breath until his face started to turn slightly blue, which made Chris laugh all the more. "It's not HER fault," Coty hissed covering his mouth. "I know," Chris agreed, "but you should have seen your face!" "Enough now," the teacher insisted.  "Anymore whispering and I'll keep you both after school.  I don't care if it IS the first day." Lunch followed quickly and mercifully for both boy's had gotten hungry.  As they walked to the lunch room, Chris's shoelace came untied and he had to step out of line to retie it.  He hurried to retake his place, but some kids from the next class told him firmly, "No cutting!"  Rather that argue and draw attention, he decided to stay where he was.  As he got to toward the front of the line, he could see out into the cafeteria.  While getting his food, he kept turning around to see where Coty had sat.  He didn't see Coty, but what he did see was Travis, Eddie, and Davis sitting together at a table.  For the first time Chris realized Davis hadn't come to his birthday party.  He knew Davis wasn't suppose to hang around with them any more that HE was, but there he was doing it.  He watched Travis stand and walk back to another table with a cup of pudding in his hand.  Before he knew it, he saw Coty too, with the pudding all over his head. "You forgot your GREESE today Coty," Travis laughed, "I figured I better help you OUT!" "Go ask for a wash cloth," the boy from the back row ordered him. Travis turned and stepped back for the boy was as tall as he was.  "What?" he laughed. "You deaf?" "No." "Then do it." "Who do you think you are?" "I'm Brian McMillan and if you ever lay a hand on him again, you'll REALLY know my name." Travis slunked back to his table, hating all the eyes that were staring and laughing at him. Brian sat down next to Coty.  "If only he knew I'm a pacifist," Brian giggled as Chris walked to stand by their table. "A what?" Chris asked. "My mom's a complete hippie.  Dad even protested at a college or something...you know...Vietnam?  We're pacifists...no fighting." "Coty doesn't believe in fighting either, do you Coty," Chris said wondering if he could be the same way.  He still thought he'd like to give Travis a punch in the nose, and then some. "Chris, what are you doing?" Eddie yelled over to him. Chris tried to ignore him, wishing either Coty or this Brian would ask him to sit down.  Planting himself next to Coty in class was one thing, but he couldn't seem to find the nerve to invite himself to sit down with him at the same lunch table.  "Chris!  I said what are you doing?" Eddie shouted at him again after Travis had whispered something in his ear. Chris took a deep breath and sat down without looking at either Coty or Brian.  If he'd made the wrong move, or seemed to be really pushing it to Coty, at the moment, he didn't want to know. "What are you a geek now Chris?" Eddie shouted and laughed.  Chris opened his mouth to shout something back, but something made him stop.  What had Johnny said about acting the same way being the easy way out?  As a minute passed he found keeping his mouth shut to truly be harder than he's expected. "Sissy Chrissy and his sissy wissy friends." "That's really good Travis," Chris answered loudly, "did you read that in your nursery rhyme book last night or did you mommy have to read it for you?" Brian raised his eyebrows.  "Yeah that'll help," Brian scoffed to Coty under his breath. Travis's jaw dropped to the floor.  "You're dead meat Chris, just wait till after school." The tone in Travis's voice made the hair stand up on the back of Chris's neck.  The Brian kid was right, all he'd done was make things even worse.  He tried to eat without reacting, but his mouth had gone dry. "Come on puddin' head," Brian smiled at Coty, "let's find a bathroom." Coty stood up to follow him, but Chris didn't like the boy's patronizing tone. "He IS almost nine you know," Chris told him firmly. "Don't be stupid.  You think I'm blind or something and can't remember him from every class I've been in all morning?  He has to be nine already or he wouldn't be in OUR grade now would he?" Chris grinned.  He found himself wanting to lay down some authority.  "Show's what YOU know," Chris told him leaving the mystery to hang in the air. "What is he then, some sorta genius?" "Now YOU'RE being stupid," Coty blushed as the two bigger boys followed him into the bathroom.  "Shut up and wash your hair puddin' head," Brian teased. "Don't boss him around," Chris ordered in an annoyed tone. "I'm not doin' nothin!" Brian insisted. A moment later the door swung open hard, knocking Chris right into the other boy. "Oh WE'RE sorry!" Travis laughed in the open doorway. Brian walked right up with in a inch of Travis's face and stared him in the eyes until Travis looked away.  Brian opened the door and held it for Chris and Coty to pass through.  "Thanks," Chris whispered as they walked outside to try to find something to do until the lunch recess was over. "He's a coward.  He won't try anything with me cause I'm just as big a he is," Brian said matter of fact. "Still, you're handy to have around," Chris smiled. "Does that mean we're friends?" Brian asked, a smile on his face growing. "Fine by me." "How 'bout you pudd...Coty?" Coty shrugged. "Doesn't say much, does he," Brian laughed to Chris.  "So you and him are friends too?" Chris frowned and looked at the other boy, answering with a shrug himself. "You're not?" "He's uh...he's kinda my cousin." Coty looked up at him with a baffled expression. "First cousin's or..." "Yeah, first cousin's.  His dad and my dad are..." "Brothers...the word is brothers.  What's your name again?" "Chris," Coty answered for him. "Chris and Coty Gage," Brian said aloud as if saying it would help him remember later. "No...I'm DeSoto...he's Gage." "Oh...then...how does that work?  Was one of the brother's adopted?" "Yeah, kinda," Chris smiled.  For some reason Chris found himself wanting to leave the picture as it was, and he wondered if Coty would give it away. Coty frowned at the ground.  "I didn't know that," he said quietly. Chris looked at Brian, but it hadn't been loud enough for him to hear. After school, Beth Stoker decided to stop by the DeSotos before taking Coty home.  Chris saw her car pull into his driveway and he hurried his sister down the sidewalk toward it. "Hi Coty," Chris said shyly despite the fact he'd just been in the same classroom with him only fifteen minutes earlier. Coty rubbed tiredly at his eyes.  "Hi," he answered back. "Coty?" Beth called out the screen door, "Joanne and I have to start planning a baby shower.  Do you need me to take you home right away or could you maybe hang out for a little while.  You didn't get any homework, did you?" "No," Chris answered before the smaller boy had a chance. "Good...good." "I need to call my dad," Coty told her before the door closed. "Oh...right.  Good idea," she told him holding the door open. Coty dug for the number deep in his new jeans pocket and dialed the phone himself. "Station eighteen, Captain Gage speaking." Coty giggled. "Is that you?" Johnny laughed.  "How was school?" "Do you HAVE to answer the phone like that?" "You should hear what I have to say every time we get a call!" "KM blah blah blah blah?" "Yeah something like that.  You didn't answer my question.  How was school today?  You SOUND fine..." "Fine." "You like your teachers?" "All except for Science." "What's wrong with Science?" Coty shrugged for his answer. "Huh?" "I don't know." "Hey let me talk to him for a minute," Chris requested as he got an idea. "Must have been SOMETHING." Coty shrugged again. "But everything else went okay?" "Yeah." "You sure?" "Yeah." Chris started to dance around impatiently. "Don't be rude Chris," Joanne warned. "But--"  Her looked stopped him from saying anything more, especially considering what he was about to ask. "All right then, well...I'll call you at eight right before bedtime if I can, okay?" "Umm wait, Chris want's to say something." "Chris?  Where ARE you?" "At Chris's." "Why are you at Chris's?" "Umm...cause Beth and Joanne are having a baby." Johnny stared soberly at the phone for several seconds.  Slowly the light began to dawn as a smile spread across his face.  "OOOhhhhh!  The SHOWER!  Yeaaahhh!  Okay!  Well when is Beth gonna take you home?" Coty looked at the two women rambling on and paging through magazines at the table and shrugged once more. "Huh?" Coty shrugged again. "Coty, if you're shrugging...I can't HEAR that!" Coty giggled. "I can hear THAT!" "I don't know when we're going." "Let me talk to Joanne." Coty held out the phone and Chris reached to take it. Coty pulled it away.  "No...your mom." "Me?" Joanne asked standing. Chris folded his arms and started to pout, but caught himself and stopped before his mother saw. "Yeah Sweetie," Joanne said into the phone making Chris look at Coty and giggle.  Coty covered his mouth and looked away.  "Umm, well I guess she can take him home now and come back when she's done, but I have to take Jenny to ballet in an hour...no, Chris said they didn't get any homework."  Joanne looked at Coty.  "Yeah you're right, he does a little." Chris looked at his mother wondering what they were talking about.  "Mom?" he asked. "Just a minute Chris." "But I need to ask you something before you hang up." "All right, just a minute...okay Johnny what?  Well maybe I could just take him on the way back from ballet." "Can't we just ride bikes over there so I can help him feed the animals?" Chris asked. "Chris...I'm on the--" "But no one has to take him anywhere if we--" "Johnny just a minute.  Chris is talking and I can't hear you." "Please?  Can you ask him if it's okay?" "To do what?" "For us to go on bikes so I can help him with the--" "Chris, Coty doesn't have a bike here." "I know.  He can ride my old one." "Has your dad adjusted the seat yet on your new one?" "Yeah." Joanne looked skeptically at Coty, wondering if he'd be able to reach the pedals on Chris's old bike.  "I don't know Chris." "If Johnny says it's okay?" Joanne looked at him for a moment, then sighed.  "Johnny, Chris wants to go over and help Coty with the animals...on bikes...no not on Jenny's, on Chris's old one...I don't know.  Coty?  Do you wanna try and see if you can ride Chris's bike?" Coty shrugged. "Would you even wanna try to ride a bike all the way home?" Chris looked at Coty, hoping for a positive answer.  He wished the other kid didn't look so tired, but on the other hand, it was the fact that he was tired that made it make sense for Chris to go over and help out.  Coty just looked at the floor and shrugged. "Come on Coty, I'll show you the bike and then you can--" "Chris," Joanne warned as her son grabbed the other boy by the sleeve, "I don't let Jenny order people around like that and I'm not going to let--" "Sorry," Chris answered letting go. "Johnny just said 'no' Chris, maybe another time." "But he's tired." "Why do you think Johnny just said 'no'...what?  Yeah, that'll work.  Talk to you later then," she said hanging up the phone.  "Johnny said why don't I drop the two of you off at the ranch until after Jenny's ballet.  Beth and I can take the magazines with us and do some planning there.  Then we'll pick you up after and save a couple extra trips.  Is that fine with you?" "Sure," Chris agreed happily. "What are we doing?" Beth asked standing and gathering things up. "Johnny wants Coty home and he'd like it if Chris gave him a hand." "He's not mad I stopped here first is he?" "Didn't sound like it.  He just said Coty didn't sleep well last night...nervous over school today, so he thinks we should get him home so he's not...you know...he's relaxed at home." Beth looked at Coty standing around and looking uncomfortable.  "I know what you mean.  I told my father about this 'our ranch', and 'our home' stuff Johnny does.  Most parents always took the attitude of 'this is MY roof and as long as you live here you will follow MY rules'.  With Johnny it's--" "I think it's partly the Indian attitude of community...family...I don't think they draw the lines of possessions as clearly as...well as most white folks do...not to sound racist." "You don't.  Not to me anyway.  I didn't even know Johnny was half Indian until you were all over, about a year after Johnny and Roy started at the station, and Chet started trying to get his goat over it." "Yeah I remember that.  I think Chet had just figured it out too.  Ready?" she asked. "I don't wanna go to ballet, I wanna go to the ranch too," Jenny whined loudly. "Honey, Johnny's working just like daddy.  He's not going to be out there to give you any rides." "I don't care!  Chris gets to go!  He ALWAYS gets to go." "Jenny, we told you Chris has been working out there this summer." "I wanna work there too." "What would you do?" Chris asked. "Feed the kittens." "Coty feeds the kittens." "So, I can help." "It doesn't take two people to feed the kittens and besides, Johnny said you have to be ten before you, can be a ranch hand, right mom?" "You're not helping Chris." Chris frowned wondering what he'd done wrong. "Chris gets to ride the horses now all the time and I NEVER get to." "Do not!" Chris said defending himself.  He hadn't had a riding lesson since Johnny accident.  All he'd been doing since was working, though Johnny had promised that would soon change. "Honey," Joanne tried again, "I just told you he's not going out there to ride the horses.  They're just going to feed them.  You said you wanted to take ballet, I paid for ballet, and you are going to ballet." Jenny stomped her foot and stuck out her bottom lip. "You've got two seconds to apologize and get that lip back in before you go to your room and stay there the rest of the night instead." "Sorry," Jenny spouted. "I didn't believe that one for a second." "I wanna go home," Coty whispered frowning at the door. "I'm sorry Coty.  You shouldn't have to see any of this," Joanne said feeling guilty, knowing he wasn't at all used to this kind of thing. "How 'bout I take them," Beth offered, "and meet you there." "Well, call before you leave Johnny's, cause I'm not sure yet we're still going." "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Jenny shouted sending Coty out the front door. 'Way to go Jenny,' Chris thought to himself as he followed Coty out the door, 'you gotta ruin everything.' "Jennifer Lynn DeSoto!" they heard Joanne shout from inside the still open doorway. "DON'T!" Coty screamed running back inside, "DON'T!  HIT ME!  It's MY fault!" "Coty," Joanne whispered stunned. "It's MY fault!  Okay?  Hit ME!" "Coty I'm not going to hit anybody.  I was just scolding her for--" "Yes you were!  You think I don't know?!  I KNOW you were!  You're just like her!" "No Coty." "You scream just LIKE her!" "Coty," Joanne said in a calming voice as she tried to hug him. "Leave me ALONE!" he shouted pushing her away. Jenny now stood crying on the bottom step, scared and confused by what she believed she had started. "Coty I'm not like your mom," Joanne said picking the little girl up and setting her down on her lap as she took over the bottom step.  "I have never hit my kids...not once.  You can ask either one of them.  I'm like your dad in that...I just don't believe in it.  I yell...yes I yell sometimes.  Maybe I shouldn't even do that.  I don't know.  I always hated it when MY mother would yell....  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry your mom was the way she was and I'm sorry I scared you.  Beth, maybe you should just call Johnny and--" "Oh Joanne.  His first day as Captain to be called from work.  That definitely won't look good for him at all." "You don't have to call him," Coty told her.  "I just wanna go home!" "Okay.  And I'm sorry again Coty.  I'm really very sorry." "Me too," Coty whispered backing toward the door.  "You won't hit her?" "No Coty.  I won't hit her.  I promise." "Bye Coty," Jenny sobbed. "Bye Jenny," Coty answered as he stepped outside. "Chris, go ahead and go too.  He looks awfully tired to handle things by himself tonight, okay?" "Sure mom," he agreed though he wondered if he still felt like going.  With everything that had just happened, he was beginning to feel tired himself. Beth drove them to the ranch in silence, not sure what she could say to break up the tension hanging over them in the car.  She hoped getting the boy on his own turf would help.  Not sure how the boy felt about all women, she decided to leave quickly and let Coty and Chris get about their business. Both boys walked, still neither one speaking, to the barn.  Chris slid open the door and grabbed the feed bucket while Coty emotionlessly started to feed the kittens.  As they abandoned the boys feet for their dinner plate, a fire engine pulled down the drive. "DAD!" Coty shouted running toward it. "Hey Coty," Johnny smiled jumping down to give him a hug. 'Oh great!' Chris thought, 'she went and called him anyway.' Johnny put his son back at arms length to talk to him and frowned.  "What happened?  What's the matter?" Coty reached to hug him again making Johnny pick him up.  "Those kids picking on you again?!" "No," Coty whined softly in his ear as he clung to his father's neck. "Then what's wrong?" "Mom scared him," Chris jumped in realizing he didn't know.  "She didn't mean to but she did." "How?" "Yellin' at Jenny." "Why was she yelling at Jenny?" "Cause she was starting to throw a tantrum.  You know how she does." "Oh..." Johnny nodded having seen several domestic DeSoto family scenes over the years.  "She call her Jennifer Lynn?" Johnny whispered in his son's ear. "He thought mom was gonna hit her." "Noooo...no Coty.  Joanne would never do that...never." Coty just buried his face in his father's neck. "Cap?" the engineer asked.  "Umm...should we wait?" "Jeffrey, it can't wait," a strange woman whispered to him.  She had followed the engine down the drive in her car, and now stood holding a box in front of her. "Jeff...umm...this is really a bad time," Johnny answered back. "Please John," the woman begged looking into her box. Johnny set Coty to his feet and kneeled to look him in the eyes.  "Coty this lady has something she wants to ask you.  It's completely up to you, okay?  You don't have to do it unless you want to." Coty looked up at the lady who tried her best to smile at him though she looked more like she wanted to cry. "Coty, I'm sure you don't remember me but I was here at a birthday party a while back for Chris.  Joanne invited me cause we're both in the PTA together and she thought it would be nice for Jenny if I brought my Stacy to the party, so she'd have another little girl to play with her age with all the other kids around who were all a bit older...uhh.  Well anyway, we...my husband and I saw all the kittens running around and Joanne told us how you...well how you saved them by taking such good care of them." Coty looked at the ground and clenched his teeth, remembering the one he hadn't taken such good care of.  Johnny bit his lip to keep from saying anything and started to rub his son's back. "My uh...my cat Doris...had some kittens and...well honey she went to heaven and now...I've got all these kittens that I'm afraid..." the woman said trying not to start crying. Coty walked over and looked into the box.  "I took them to the vet but you have no idea how much...you just wouldn't believe it.  So I was wondering if maybe...I bought the bottles and the formula John says they need but...I tried to feed one myself this morning and...well all I can say is it's a whole lot different than trying to feed a human baby.  Their head's don't..." "He knows," Johnny assured her. "Yes, I guess he would." Coty looked down at the helpless creatures in the box.  Taking a deep breath, he took it from her and started to carry them to the barn. "He uh...he's gonna do it then?" Johnny smiled proudly.  "He'll do it." "I have homes for almost all of them already so how long before...I mean if they make it...before they could be--" "He'll let you know." The woman looked at the small boy starting to fill a bottle in the barn.  "You sure he's eight?" "Almost nine." "Tiny for nine, isn't he?" "Big heart," Jeffery said behind them Johnny looked at his son and beamed.  "Coty?" he called to him, "we've got to get going now, I'll see you--" Coty raced back out of the barn straight toward his father and Johnny caught him in his arms.  "Okay," Johnny told him, "all right.  It's been one long day for you hasn't it?" Johnny shook his head looking at the engine and his men parked in his drive, pretending not to watch him.  Hugging his boy tight, he didn't know what to do. "Cap?" the engineer asked after a few minutes. "I...I don't want to leave him alone," Johnny mumbled softly hugging his boy tighter.  Johnny looked around wondering how to call in and get a replacement on his first day.  "Chris?" Johnny said aloud as his eyes past over the boy, "could you...do you think your mom would let you stay out here tonight?" "I could ask!" Chris answered excitedly. Johnny felt the blood rushing into his ears as he rocked Coty back and forth while they waited for Chris to return from the house.  He had to wonder what kind of impression he was giving his men of himself on his first day.  First he was talked by one of his men's wives into bringing a box of helpless kittens out to his ranch for his son to raise, and now there he was, standing in the middle of his own driveway mothering his little boy.  'Some image,' he thought.  At least with being the Captain, he didn't have to take any ribbing over it, not to his face anyway.  He hated to think what they were all going to end up saying about him to his back. "She said yes!" Chris announced running back out of the house.  "She wants to know if we should order some pizza's." "I've told her before they don't deliver out here.  Tell her dinner is covered and thanks." Chris raced back into the house and Johnny set his boy back on his feet.  "Okay now...I want you to finish your chores, take a cool shower, eat one of those frozen pizza's in the freezer, and get to bed early, all right?" Coty wiped his eyes on his sleeve and nodded. "I'll come get you for lunch tomorrow, but Chris'll be here to go to school with you on the bus tomorrow.  Okay?  You and Chris getting along okay now?" Again Coty nodded. "Okay," Johnny said giving his son a very light push toward the barn and the now squealing new kittens he had to feed.  By the door, Coty picked up a full bottle of formula and waved. Johnny forced a smile.  "All right," he ordered with a quick wave back, "let's go." "Hard being a single father, isn't it?" he engineer asked. Johnny stared out the widow at the dust rising all around them as they left the drive.  "Yeah it is...but I wouldn't change it for the world." Coty watched the engine leave and picked up his first hungry kitten. "Guess what?" Chris asked as he ran to the barn with his news." Coty looked up but didn't answer. "Mom's bringin' my clothes AND my bike.  She said if we leave by a little after seven, we can ride our bikes to school!" "Dad said we should take the bus." "Well mom's gonna call him since he left without talking to her.  Don't you WANNA ride bikes tomorrow?" Coty shrugged as he picked up another kitten. "You're good at that." He shrugged again as one of his own kittens tackled the bootlace on his hiking boot. Chris laughed as the thing tripped on it's own whiskers and plowed into another kitten.  Soon all six, having smelled the formula Coty was giving to the newborns, were surrounding him and trying to climb in his lap. "Shoo," he told them, "you all already ate!" "I wish your other one hadn't died," Chris thought aloud.  Coty's face looked sad as he stroked one of the little ones to make sure it was full.  "I still can't believe they only got probation for all of that.  I mean they killed it and it's like it didn't even matter just because it was a kitten.  They almost killed you too my dad said." "He wasn't dead yet when I got him," Coty confided quietly.  "He didn't die till I was holding him so...he just went to sleep and his spirit flew away.  Maybe part of him is even in me if he loved me enough.  I think he did.  Doesn't matter, he's okay now and I told him I was sorry." "It wasn't your fault, it was Travis's." "I know but...I still feel sorry." "You feel sad." "Yeah." "But now you'll save a hundred kittens, right?" Coty looked into the box at the now sleeping balls of fur inside.  "Yeah, every one I see, I'm gonna save." "Can I help ya?" "They're all fed now." "I mean next time, if you showed me how?" "You have to be awfully gentle, but hold them tight at the same time.  It's kinda hard." "I know, but you can teach me." "If you want to." "I do." Coty thought for a minute.  "Okay," he agreed. Chris smiled and started to climb up the ladder to the newly repaired loft.  "You ever jump in the hay?!" he asked getting ready to do just that. "PITCH FORK!" Coty screamed running beneath him and plucking it out of the pile. Breathing hard and fast, Chris realized how close he had just come to impaling himself on the thing. "You okay?" Coty called up. "Yeah," he panted.  "Man, I don't even wanna THINK what that woulda done." "You have to check the wall before you jump to make sure everything is there first, THEN you can jump," Coty explained putting every tool he saw away on their individual hooks. "Is everything there now?" Chris asked as Coty climbed up. "Yep!" Coty told him as he leap off the top rung of the ladder and into the hay. "Wait a minute, are you allowed to do this when Uncle Joh...when your dad's not here?" "I can do it so long as all the tools are put away and I'm not by myself...and I'm not BY myself," Coty smiled climbing the ladder again. "You sure?" "Yep.  The hay is soft, not like the ground when you're jumping the bike.  Hay is fair game." Chris shrugged and jumped into the hay. "Only one at a time though in case one of us hurts an ankle or something.  That way the other one can call for help." "Makes sense to me," Chris admitted. "And always make sure the kittens are out of the way," Coty said jumping again. "Look out belooowwwww!" Chris cried as he followed him down. Coty jumped again and took a moment to spit some hay out of his mouth.  "I'm hot," he mentioned out loud. "Me too." "You wanna turn the sprinkler on?" "Can we?" "So long as we don't flood the yard." "Race ya," Chris said running for the back of the house where he knew the garden hose was.  Turning on the water, he picked up the sprinkler and aimed it at Coty. "HEY!" Coty squeaked running into the house. "Where'd you go?!" Chris whined when minutes passed and the boy did not reappear. "Here," Coty giggled above him as he poured a large bowl of water on Chris's head from a second story window. Chris started to turn the sprinkler. "Uh uh uh ranch hand, no spraying water in the house." "Come out here then injun boy." "Half injun.  And I'll have you know it's the best half!" Coty laughed disappearing into the house  once again. "Hey," Chris shouted after him, "what do they call the people who OWN the ranch?" "HUH?" Coty called out from the kitchen. "What do they call people who...NOW what-r-ya-doin?!" "Putting the pizza in!" Coty answered coming to the back door and shouting outside. "We're still having pizza?!" "Yeah, what...you think you can only get 'em from a restaurant?" "Noooooo, but my mom won't buy the frozen kind cause dad says they all taste like cardboard." "Not the kind WE get." "Well what kind do you get?" Chris asked setting down the sprinkler and walking into the house.  Inside he found the kitchen empty.  "Coty...Coty...where didja go?  Coty," he called stepping back outside. "RED BARON!" Coty squealed as he turned the sprinkler on the boy. "YOU CHEATER!" "It's not cheating!  You got longer legs than me so of course you got here first.  But I used my BRAINS!" "You're not so smart," Chris said crimping the hose before he became totally drenched and walking toward Coty, "you forgot, I'm bigger than you." "Hi Mrs. DeSoto," Coty said looking over Chris's shoulder. Chris, dripping with water, put on his most innocent face and turned around to an empty driveway.  Behind him Coty disappeared.  "Man you CHEATER!"  Chris dropped the crimped hose and picked up the sprinkler once more.  "Come here and face it like a man!" he challenged.  To his amazement, the water slowed to a trickle until it stopped completely.  "Hey Coty?!  Something just happened.  The water just--" "Catch!" Coty cried as he threw another bowl of water into Chris's face the second Chris rounded the corner of the house. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" "That's just the outside tap.  I turned off the water to the WHOLE HOUSE!  Dad showed me how in case the toilet ever breaks of something...you never know." "My dad never shows me anything!" "Yeah, you're dad's mean." "No he's not." "He is sometimes." "He hardly ever is." Coty shrugged.  "I'm turning the water back on," he said returning to the house. "My dad can be fun...he can be a lot of fun.  One time we made a  bird house and he said it looked like a pirate ship cause we nailed it wrong and he started talking like a pirate.  He does all kinds of stuff." "I thought you said he never shows you anything," Coty called back from inside. "Well...I guess he does," Chris muttered quietly picking up the sprinkler.  A second later he got a face full of water as the main valve was turned back on.  "Oh man...now THAT was stupid!" "What?" Coty asked.  "What did you do THAT for," he giggled as he realized what had just happened. "Oh it's funny is it?!" Chris laughed as he turned it on him, soaking him through and through. "What are you guys doing?" Joanne asked trying hard to look stern at the two drowned rats standing in a mud puddle before her. Chris was certain his overnight stay was about to end. Seeing the look on Coty's face, she decided to dispense with parenting for the night, after all, Coty wasn't hers and he'd already had a bad afternoon. "Mommy," Jenny spoke behind her, "they're all wet." "Time for your shower's I see," Joanne grinned. "Pizza," Coty muttered dripping his way into the house.  After checking it's progress in the oven, he locked himself in the bathroom to clean up.  Coming out again, the woman now stood in his kitchen. "You still mad at me?" Joanne asked. Coty looked away and shrugged. "Well, for what it's worth, I'd like to apologize again.  I sure didn't mean to scare you or make you think I'd do anything bad to either one of my kids.  I never would." Coty sighed wishing he'd put a shirt on before he came out of the bathroom. "I bought you something to try to make up for it.  They're not much but...here you go." When Coty didn't reach for the box, Joanne decided to open it for herself.  "It's just some feathers, see?  And some paints.  Some people paint little things on them, and I remembered how much you liked that feather at the picnic, so I thought...you don't have to paint them though, it's up to you.  They're okay, aren't they?" Coty looked at the feathers with an opened mouth.  Something about them always held an attraction for him and he was forever picking up every nice one he saw.  "You're GIVING them to me?" "Yes...I'm giving them to you...no strings attached...just to say I'm sorry." "But why?" "Why?"  Joanne frowned.  "Because I want to." "But you're...but...you don't like me." "Coty...what ever gave you that idea.  I like you a lot." "Girls don't like boys.  Not really.  They act like they do so they can get money and stuff...then they...they never give you anything.  They just tell you what to do and make you do stuff, and if you don't--" "That's not true.  Not all women...not all men are bad, right?  You're dad's nice isn't he?" Coty nodded. "Women can be nice too." "I had a nice teacher once who was a girl." "There, you see?" "But she wasn't like everybody else." "There's lots of good people Coty, not just you're dad and that teacher." "I can really have the feathers?" "I want you to, if you like them." Coty touched them in their box, five large beautiful feathers like he'd never seen before.  "Nothing died right?" "No sweetheart.  The woman who paints them has all sorts of birds and they loose their feathers from time to time.  She's just careful to pick them up.  She has some peacocks too.  Have you ever seen a peacock feather?" "What's a peacock?" "Oh are you in for a treat if you've never seen one.  Maybe we could go out there one day so you can see all the different birds for yourself.  You'd be amazed at all the different kinds of birds and feathers there are out there." "Dad too?" "Yep, I'd never dream of leaving your dad out of something." "What about Chris and Jenny?" "Sure, we can all go...one big family.  How would that be?" "Are there really all kinds of birds?" "Oh there are lots, and she has about twenty different kinds.  While you're at school tomorrow, maybe you could go to the library and get some books about birds." Coty smiled.  "That teacher woulda said that." "Well she must of been a smart lady." "You want some pizza?" Coty asked pulling it from the oven. "No no...that's yours and Chris's.  In fact I need to get home and make us our own dinner, right Jenny?" "Ma-um." "Now I said we'd only stay for a little while so please don't start up again." Jenny looked at Coty and closed her mouth.  She'd wait to beg for pizza too once they were safely back in the car.  "Bye Coty," she said unable to keep that slight pout out of her voice. Coty blushed and waved. "Ba-bye Chris," Joanne said pecking him on the forehead.  "Make sure you take your own shower before you get into bed and put the CLEAN clothes on in the morning." "I will, love you." Joanne's surprised heart swelled up to tears.  "I love you too." "See," Chris said once she was gone, "my mom's nice too."                        ~/~/~/~/~ In the morning, after Johnny had granted permission over the phone the night before, both boys rode their bikes to school.  They found themselves earlier than they thought they would be, having never done it before. "Hey Coty," Chris asked as they sat on the swings, "you wanna be friends?" Coty frowned, "are you suppose to ask?" "What do you mean?" "I don't know.  I never had a friend before.  I didn't know you asked." "Oh...well...sometimes you do.  So...do you wanna?" "Like how do you do it?  I mean..." "You just hang out together and stuff...you know." "In school too?" "Especially in school." "What about Travis and them...you know if you hang out with me they'll just--" "So...I didn't sit with them yesterday right?" "No.  But...what if you change your mind." "I won't.  I'll be your best friend and you be mine...deal?" Coty looked up at the taller boy, trying to see if he meant it.  "Deal," he said seriously as he shook his hand. "Good," Chris said half to himself as he sat down and began to swing, "you're a whole lot cooler than Travis ever was...funnier too." Coty grinned as he tried to match the other boy's height on the swing.  Having a friend was going to be all right. "Funny lookin aren't they?" back row Brian asked as he sat down in another swing without asking if it was taken.  Across the yard they could see Travis and Eddie whispering together and pointing at Davis.  It seemed Davis has made friends with Howard Winegarten and they didn't like it.  "I wonder if they'll ever grow up."                        ~/~/~/~/~ Johnny looked at his son feeding the kittens in the living room as he read Coty's first report card for the year. Social Studies:  A  Coty is a delight to have in class.  He does very well but he still needs to start giving oral reports like the other kids.  It would also be nice if he would talk more in class. Science:  B+  Coty works very hard and has a wonderful curiosity with everything having to do with nature.  He does need to learn to focus it more in the classroom and not out our window.  His nature projects are wonderful. Math: C  Coty still seems a little behind.  I suggest getting him a tutor. Reading:  A+  Coty is a gem.  I have never seen such a laid back boy.  I spoke with his teacher last year and she can't believe how much he's changed since he first started here.  He is really beginning to come into his own.  We could use more parents like you.  Thanks for helping out with our book drive. Johnny smiled as he put it down to finish later.  "Hey you little gem, what do you wanna do for your second ninth birthday tomorrow?" Coty shrugged, shy as ever about asking for anything.  It didn't matter. Through the eyes of other's he could begin to see they were right.  Coty had changed quite a lot.  No longer was he afraid of his own shadow.  No longer did he hide from anyone or bite in self defense.  The boy felt true affection and was no longer afraid to show it.  Bit by bit, things were always getting better.  "Ice-cream cake maybe?" he asked knowing his son didn't care much for regular cake. Coty smiled remembering one they had gotten a free sample of at Baskin Robbins, giving Johnny his answer. "I don't suppose you'd want to invite some people over for it, would you?" Coty shrugged as he placed the baby kittens on the floor to crawl around. Johnny patted the stool next to him and handed him a pad of paper.  "Well if we did invite some people over, why don't you write down who you wouldn't mind being there." Shawnao rested his head in Coty's lap as he climbed into the stool next to his father.  Bu batted at his moving pencil as six kittens took turns charging at the frayed cuffs of his jeans.  Johnny leaned over his shoulder to see what he'd written.  The list read: The DeSotos Chris Brian McMillian Kenny (from the picnic) Nice man with the beans Funny guy with the mustache Tall guy with the wavy hair The Stokers The blond lady at the hospital The grumpy doctor and the gray-haired one. The one with glasses who kept sneaking me candy trying to get me to eat something. Dad The end Author's comments: I'd like to thank Ria for her incredible drawings. She read part of it, and drew them all from just that.  As I received them, they gave me the energy and desire to keep going with it, even when I grew tired wondering if it would ever be done.  I'd like to thank Betty and Lisa for being great encouraging friends all along.  And last but definitely not least I absolutely need to thank Janet for her own encouragement, her persistant help, her hard work, her connecting me with the incredible Ria, and for her wonderful site.  I hope you enjoyed the story. Editor's note:  If you liked this story, PLEASE tell Sage how you fell about it.  She worked very hard on this story to bring it to you.  Ria has also given us pictures that go with this story.  Click here to go to that link. return to main menu