ifony

IF ONLY

By Kajakat

(Editor's note - this story has characters that were introduced in Distractions, which is also published on this site.)

"I can't believe we're on our way to New York!" John Gage said with his extra normal amount of enthusiasm.   He was beyond happy. He was exhilarated.

The Pan Am 747 took off from Los Angeles International Airport. Its destination was New York City's Kennedy Airport. Two of the passengers were Roy DeSoto and John Gage.

Roy DeSoto, the more balanced of the duo, had his eyes closed, trying to sleep on this transcontinental flight. He had to get his sleep now, knowing his partner would keep them busy on their business trip. It was the only thing Johnny talked about since Captain Stanley told them they'd be representing LACoFD at this New York symposium on search and rescue techniques. John Gage, the more animated of the two, was doing everything to keep his partner, his friend, from sleeping.

"So Roy, whaddya wanna do in New York?"

"Sleep."

Johnny elbowed Roy. "Come on Roy, we've got three days of lectures and three days of fun. I figure we can do lotsa sightseeing. I wanna see the Empire State building, Central Park, Times Square..."

And on and on John Gage went. Since Roy and John were partners, Johnny's rantings were something Roy was used to. To some, John's exuberance would seem annoying. To Roy, John's zest for life was refreshing. In the line of work they did, seeing death and destruction, Johnny's quirky nature was the perfect "treatment" for Roy's modest lifestyle.

*****

After the 5-hour flight, the plane landed at Kennedy Airport. The two men picked up their luggage and took a taxi to their hotel in midtown Manhattan. Both men had wide grins on their faces in anticipation of the fun that was ahead. Neither had been to New York before.

The cab's approach to the city used the Midtown tunnel, which afforded the passengers a perfect view of the New York skyline.

"Man, will you look at that." Johnny let out a whistle. "Look at all those buildings."

Roy, not one of many words, just took in the view. To the first time visitor, the skyline was magnificent. Tall and short buildings dotted the landscape, layering themselves into the vista.

"That's the Empire State building. And that's the Chrysler building. And those two down there are the Twin Towers." Johnny pointed out each skyscraper to Roy.

Both men imagined how difficult it would be to fight a fire in these steel canyons.

The taxi took them through the Midtown Tunnel and into Manhattan. The men were amazed at all the vehicular and pedestrian traffic. People were crossing mid street, dashing in between moving cars.

"Man, look at all these people. Is it always this crowded?" Johnny asked the driver.

The cabby looked at Johnny through the rearview mirror, laughing. Speaking with a typical New York accent he said, "Dis is nothin'. You should see it durin' rush hour."

"Rush hour? An' this isn't it? Glad I don't have to drive here," Johnny stated.

Roy shook his head in agreement. "Imagine Mike driving Big Red here!"

"I don't wanna think about that." Both men grinned.

The taxi pulled into the Hilton's valet entrance. The men exited the taxi, paid the bill, walked into the lobby and checked into their room.

***
The meetings they went to had rescue personnel from all over the country. Paramedics were new to most communities, and meetings such as these afforded these men and women the opportunities to exchange stories and to find out how other departments handled their own rescues. It was also a good way to network.

The symposium was a full day's worth of work. Not only did the participants spend time at meetings they went to visit different New York search and rescue facilities.

The last evening of the symposium offered a black tie fundraiser. The money raised would go to the local hospital's paraplegic facilities.   After that, the duo would have three days to play in New York, something both men were eagerly looking forward to.

***

After the last meeting, the two men went back to their room to change into their dress uniforms for the evening's gala.

It was an uncomfortable situation for the two men as they didn't know anyone at the party, but it was their obligation to represent Los Angeles, so they decided to make the best of it. At least Johnny thought after the party he and Roy would go out on the town.

They were in the hotel's ballroom, watching the evening unfold.

"Hey Roy? Is that the actress starring in that new comedy?"

"Which actress?"

"The one over there?" Johnny pointed, but hid his fingers behind his beer bottle. "The red head."

"Yeah, I think that is." Roy looked at the woman, admiring her attire. Yes, Roy was married, but he wasn't dead!

"That's weird. We live in LA and get to see stars here."

"Well ya know Junior, New York is known for their actors too. Ever heard of Broadway?" Roy said with a grin on his face and a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Johnny looked at his partner with a sneer on his face.

"I think that's the Mayor talking with the Governor," said Roy.

"Where?"

"Over there." This time, Roy pointed.

Johnny looked at where Roy pointed. He saw four people talking, three men and one woman. One of the men was in a wheelchair. The woman was standing behind the wheelchair. Their backs were to the paramedics. The foursome's discussion was animated, however, the woman appeared to be listening and not partaking in the discussion.

Johnny stared at the woman in disbelief. Roy was watching Johnny. Without saying a word to Roy, Johnny walked closer to the woman. He put his beer down on the table.   The conversation amongst the four people ended with a round of handshakes. The Governor and the Mayor walked away. The woman put her hands on the wheelchair, bent down and whispered something into the man's ear. He laughed. She then turned around and was facing Johnny. The woman gasped when she saw him. The man looked up at his wife and then looked at what startled her.

A knife could cut the tension of the moment. The woman pushed the wheelchair toward Johnny.

"I thought that was you. How are you both?" asked Johnny with a grin on his face. Although he really wanted to speak with the woman, he couldn't make it that obvious.

Robert extended his hand to Johnny. "I'm doing well, John. Life's certainly got interesting since I last saw you. I never got to really thank you for rescuing us, what was it, honey, six months ago?"

Kat cleared her throat. "Yes, Robert, it was."

"How are you, John?" asked Robert.

"Doin' good, doin' good." Johnny said while looking at Kat. Her looks hadn't changed from the last time he saw her. She was wearing a black form-fitting gown, with rhinestones on the spaghetti straps and on the bodice. Her hair was twisted up in a chignon. The feelings that Johnny had toward Kat, the feelings he bottled up some many months ago, surfaced. He was rattled but needed to maintain his professional demeanor. So he decided to ignore her for the moment.

"What did the doctors say about, your, eh, condition?" Johnny pointed to the wheelchair.

"The doctors say I may be able to walk again. I've had two operations so far and I go for physical therapy every day. Isn't that right, Kat? She's my Rock of Gibraltar. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I would have made it this far." Robert looked up at Kat with a smile on his face.

She smiled back at her husband and squeezed his shoulder. She didn't dare speak. Her voice would give her away. Seeing Johnny so unexpectedly threw her. She spent many hours thinking of him and their brief time together in Cancun. But there was no one she could share her thoughts with. She had to push her memories out from her mind, by concentrating on her husband's well being.

At this point, Roy walked over to the threesome. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, yeah. This is my partner Roy DeSoto. Roy, this is Katherine and Robert Brookes. I met them in Cancun." Roy extended his hand to Katherine and Robert.

"Nice to meet you." Roy looked at the woman and recognized her from the picture she sent him. Kat mailed a letter to Roy and John, but in Roy's letter, she included the picture that was taken of Kat and John. Kat looked at Roy, finally meeting the man that Johnny talked so fondly about. Just by looking at Roy's demeanor, she confirmed all of the admirable qualities Johnny spoke about.

Robert continued to talk. "So what brings you two to my city?" he said with a sparkle in his eye.

Roy answered. "Our Chief asked us to represent Los Angeles County at the search and rescue symposium. LA was one of the first jurisdictions to have Paramedics and our Chief believed our insights would help other cities as they set up programs and train their forces."

"You know, after my accident in Cancun, I became more interested in rescue work.   That's why we're here at this fundraiser. I've become an unofficial spokesperson for the privileged paraplegics," Robert said with a slight chuckle as he slapped his thigh.

The group became silent as the awkwardness settled among them. Roy took a sip from his beer. Johnny wished he hadn't put his down.

"John, Roy I have an idea. Kat and I are having a dinner party on Thursday night. Why don't you both join us? It will be our way of thanking you, Johnny, for rescuing us," Robert urged. Kat was surprised that Robert asked. She suspected that Robert was suspicious of her and her Cancun activities and he was inviting the enemy, Johnny, into his lair. Perhaps Robert wanted to show both Kat and John that he, Robert, was still in control.

Roy looked at John. John looked uncomfortable. Knowing his partner, Roy answered for both of them. "I don't know Robert. Can we let you know later?"

"Of course you can! I just want to show you both a good time while you're in the city. Well if you can't stop by our home, I hope you can stop by Kat's showroom, at least. She's got some very interesting clothes there. She designed the tuxedo you see me wearing."

Kat liked that idea. It would give her another chance to see Johnny and it would be on her ground. She spoke up. "That's a great idea. I'd love to show you my company. You can't say no; I won't hear of it!"

"Well, okay," Johnny said, not wanting to disappoint her. He also thought it a good idea, but didn't want to show too much enthusiasm in this mixed group. "I guess you saw me in action in Cancun so it's your turn to show off."

"Fine, it's settled. You can let Kat know tomorrow when you see her if you intend to come to the party. I'm so proud of her business. Here's her address." Robert took out a pen and paper and wrote her business address. "You'll get to see the latest men's fashions before they're in the stores."

"Honey, these men wear uniforms," Kat said.

"I know, but they don't wear uniforms all the time. I bet Johnny has an ungodly wardrobe."

Johnny laughed.   It wasn't a laugh because Robert's statement was funny. It was due to the uncomfortable situation developing.

Roy, who didn't truly know the situation, again answered. "Katherine, if it's not an imposition, we could stop by at 11:00am."

Kat nodded. "The showroom is 975 Avenue of the Americas. 11:00am is fine."

Changing the subject Robert moved closer to Roy and asked, "Tell me, Roy, what was the most difficult rescue you ever had to do?"

Roy paused and pensively looked at Johnny. "There were so many that could fit that category. I think it was the time I rescued this guy off of a scaffold." He pointed his thumb toward Johnny. " My partner here, was sick with this monkey virus, but didn't want to tell us he wasn't feeling well..."

"Oh, I don't wanna listen to this." Johnny said with a laugh. "I'm gonna get another drink. Can I get anyone else?"

Kat found her voice. "I'll go with you, Johnny."

Two sets of eyes watched the pair walk over to the bar.

After they got their drinks, Johnny said, "Let's go over there." Johnny pointed to an outside balcony. With their drinks in hand, they walked outdoors.

Johnny didn't know what to say. Seeing Kat was the last thing he expected on his trip. The thought of bumping into her never crossed his mind, considering New York City had seven million residents. But here he was with her. He smelled her perfume, which brought back memories from Cancun. Over time, the memories became good memories, pleasant memories. He remembered holding her when they were walking down by the river. And, he remembered kissing her. Yes, their passionate kiss. Was it passionate because she was married or because John Gage wanted her?

He started with some small talk.

"Wow, some view," Johnny commented as he looked over the railing.

"You're looking at Central Park." Kat turned around to overlook the park.

"It's impressive."

"It is. You should see it during a nice summer day. So many people take advantage of the what the park, the city has to offer."

"Is it safe in there?"

"Sure, the park's had some troubles, but it's okay."

Johnny looked at Kat. "You look beautiful, Kat. And that dress you're wearing, well what can I say?" he said while admiring her attire.

"I made this dress myself." Kat spun around to show off her outfit.

"You did? Wow!" was all he could say, as he appreciated the beautiful dress and its contents.

"I also made the tux that Robert's wearing. He has special clothing needs, since he's in the wheelchair. I'm fortunate to have the ability to make clothes to fit those needs. I'm thinking about launching a clothing line for people with special needs."

Johnny acknowledged her statement but didn't say anything.

The silence started. Both Johnny and Kat were leaning on the rail, looking at the park. They looked away from each other.

Johnny cleared his throat, then looked at her. In a soft voice he said, "I got your letter. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"How are things going with Robert?"

"Oh you know, same old, same old. He tried in the beginning, to be more open to me. But it's hard to change old ways. And sometimes, he gets bitter. He's so frustrated at his situation and he looks to blame someone. I don't know how much longer I can deal with him." She gazed into John's brown eyes.

Kat looked around and saw they were alone. She put her drink down on the railing and took Johnny's beer bottle out of his hand. She then took hold of Johnny's fingers and held them. Johnny let out a sigh.

"It's good to see you again, Kat. I never got a chance to say good bye to you." He looked at her and moved closer, infringing on her space.

Kat lowered her head and spoke. She didn't want to make eye contact fearing its intimacy. "I didn't want to say good bye, so I took the cowardly way out." She shivered but wasn't sure if it was due to a cool July evening or seeing Johnny. He saw her discomfort and rubbed his hands on her bare arms to warm her up. Now it was her turn to sigh.

He wanted to pull her closer and take her in his arms again. He wanted to feel the warmth of her body against his.   He wanted to run away with her and go back to Cancun and play in the ocean. He wanted to do many things, but instead said, "Lemme give you my jacket. It'll keep you warm." He took his blazer off and draped it over her shoulders. She looked up and made eye contact with him and smiled.

"Maybe we should go back in. I don't like to leave Robert for too long." The statement Kat made wasn't true, but she was scared being alone with Johnny.

"Oh, he's okay. Roy's with him." Johnny didn't want Kat to leave yet. He wanted to say so much, but he was caught off guard and wasn't sure if he knew how to put his thoughts into words.

Johnny looked into Kat's eyes and saw there were tears forming there.

"Johnny?"

"Kat?"

They both spoke at the same time.

"You go first," Johnny said.

Kat paused to collect her thoughts. "I thought of you quite a bit, since Cancun, how much fun we had. How much we could have had." Her voice trailed off as she looked up at him.

He saw the tears forming in her eyes. He raised his right hand and brushed the tear away that fell down her left cheek.

"Kat - don't. Cancun is over. It was just timing, ya know, two people at the same place at the same time. Leave it to that," Johnny said trying to make it easier for himself and Kat. But it didn't work for either of them.

"You're telling me, John Gage, you didn't feel anything? Are you the consummate professional so you don't have to deal with your emotions?" Kat asked, her voice rising with anxiety.

"It's not that, Kat," Johnny said defensively, placing his hand against his chest. "It's just not meant to be. You are married." He said the last sentence emphasizing married.

"And if I wasn't?" Kat reached her hand out to touch Johnny's face.

He didn't get a chance to answer. Neither heard anyone approach.

"Eh hem." Roy cleared his throat. "Robert's looking for you, Katherine."

"Johnny, I've got to go back in. Thanks for your blazer." She took it off her shoulders and gave it back to him. She looked at him one more time, "See you both tomorrow, at 11:00." She walked back in a hurry. Both men watched her walk away.

Roy walked over to where Kat was standing. Instead of leaning over on the rail, he put his back against it and looked at his partner. Johnny was running his hand through his hair, a trait he tended to do when he had to think.

"You never told me what happened in Cancun. How you got that cut above your eye." Roy pointed to the faded scar.

Leaning on the railing once again, he took a deep breath before replying. "There's nothing to tell. I met Kat and Robert in Cancun. We went on an excursion that was involved in an accident.   I was tossed around a bit and got that cut.   Robert was the most seriously injured.   We were rescued. End of story."

Roy said, "I think you left some parts out, Junior."

Johnny looked at Roy. He put his jacket back on. "Let's go inside. It's getting chilly." Roy wouldn't disagree about the weather conditions, but recognized that his partner ended their conversation.

****

After the party was over, Roy and Johnny decided to walk back to their hotel. They didn't speak much. While they walked, Johnny peered into the window of a bar. "Let's go in here for a nightcap."

"Only if you're paying," Roy said as he tapped his partner on the back. Johnny smiled at Roy's comment.

The two men walked into a New York pub, found a booth and ordered a pitcher of beer. After drinking a mug in silence, Johnny began to speak.

"Roy, I didn't tell you about Kat, because there's nothing to tell. She went to Cancun alone. She didn't tell me she was married until after we got to know each other."

Roy raised an eyebrow at Johnny's comment.

"Not that way, Roy."

"But, as things got more intense, she told me she was separated from her husband, trying to get her act together. She didn't know whether she was going to stay with him or not. Next thing I know, he's with her. We all ended up taking this excursion to Tulum and the van was involved in an accident. That's where Robert was injured. I guess Kat was gonna leave him, but felt obligated to stay with him because of his injuries. I never got to ask her. She and Robert left before I had a chance to see how he was doing."

"How do you feel about her, Johnny?"

"Roy, it doesn't matter how I feel about her. That was then." Johnny's voice was elevated as he made that statement.

"Hey Junior, I saw the way you looked at her. I saw how she looked at you. And I saw the way you were talking. There's more going on than you're letting on." Roy sipped some more beer.

Johnny didn't reply. He looked at Roy and guzzled more beer.

Roy continued, "You never asked me how I got that picture of you, you know, the one with you, Katherine and the donkey."

"Roy, I didn't wanna ask, because I wasn't ready to talk about her. And I still don't. But knowing you, Pally, you'd ask away and I'd deny. So to save us both trouble, I figured I'd tell ya now." Johnny lifted his mug and emptied it.

He continued, "She's a special person Roy. We really had a good time together. And there could be more, but there are a lot of 'ifs' here.   If she wasn't married, if she didn't live in New York, sure, I'd want more of her. But, she is married and she does live in New York. It took a long time for me to forget her, Roy, and this, seeing her, is not helping," Johnny said with annoyance.

"Do you want to cancel tomorrow's appointment?" Roy asked.

Johnny looked at Roy before answering. "Man, you saw how excited she was when Robert made that suggestion. That's the way I saw her in Cancun. She's so alive. It's almost if Robert has this hold over her and she's only free when she's not with him. I wouldn't deny her that. Nah, I don't wanna disappoint her. I can't hurt her like that. Let's not cancel it."

***

The two men walked into 975 Avenue of the Americas, the office building where Kat's business was located. They went up to the 32nd floor. Johnny let out a soft whistle as he approached the doors to Kat's Closets. "Would ya look at that," he said, pointing to the office.

What he and Roy saw was a modern, busy office. They walk in through the double doors.

"May I help you gentlemen?" asked the receptionist.

Johnny didn't immediately answer as he was looking around, so Roy jumped in. "We're here to see Katherine Brookes."

"Who may I say is calling?"

"John Gage and Roy DeSoto."

"Just one moment." The receptionist picked up the phone and called another extension. Johnny continued to look around. One wall was filled with awards. Another had pictures of clothes, which he assumed Kat designed.

"Gentlemen, have a seat. Ms. Brookes' secretary will be out in a minute."

Roy and Johnny walked over to the leather sofa and sat down. "I had no idea that this was Kat's business. I mean she told me she designed clothes, but I woulda never known," Johnny said.

An older woman approached the men. "Mr. Gage, Mr. DeSoto, I'm Giselle, Ms. Brookes' secretary. She's on a call that's taking longer than she expected. She wants me to bring you this way."

The two men followed Giselle to a conference room.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable. Would you like some coffee or tea?"

Roy spoke up. "Yes, that would be nice."

Johnny looked out the conference room's windows. Since they were so high up, it afforded a view of the New York Public Library and Bryant Park

Giselle came back in with a silver coffee service. "Can I pour it for you?"

Roy answered, "No that's okay. He's picky about his coffee." Roy pointed to Johnny. Johnny looked at Roy with mild annoyance, since he takes his coffee black. Roy poured a cup for Johnny then one for himself. He put three sugars in his. Johnny took his straight.

"Roy, this has got to be a million dollar business!"

"Actually, Johnny, this business will show a profit this year," Kat said as she walked into the conference room. Kat was wearing a black tailored pantsuit with a beige blouse seductively opened. She went over to Roy and kissed him on the cheek. She next went to Johnny and kissed him too, although she lingered a bit longer. She placed her hands against his chest and then, she took both of their hands and led them to her office.

"Let me take you to my office. Giselle, please bring their coffees to my office."

People stopped to stare as Kat took the two men, arm in arm, to her office. Giselle even noticed giddiness about Kat. Giselle was a long-term employee with Kat, back in the beginning when Kat's Closet just started. Giselle went through much with Kat, included her marital difficulties and considered her to be like a daughter. It was nice to see Kat happy, she thought.

"This is my home away from home."

The office was also modernly decorated. The view from her office afforded the same Bryant Park view with no obstructions looking uptown. Johnny walked over to the window and looked out.

"So gentlemen, are you impressed?" Kat always showed confidence when in her business setting. She liked people to know that she loved what she worked on and it came across in her clothes.

"Katherine, I'm overwhelmed," Roy said.

"Roy, please call me Kat. When you say Katherine, I think of my father."

Johnny spoke up for the first time. "Kat, Roy is always showing off that fatherly side."

Roy looked at Johnny and frowned. "I like calling you Katherine. To me, it's befitting."

Kat looked at Roy and smiled. She took his hand, patted it and said, "Okay, Roy. I'll let you and only you call me Katherine." Everyone chuckled.

"I have a surprise for you. I went through the closets and picked out some stuff for you."

"Kat, you didn't have to do that!" Johnny said.

"Johnny, I want to. And it's my pleasure to do so. You can't say no." Looking at Roy, Kat continued. "Roy, in my opinion, I can see you wearing turtlenecks. You probably don't wear them too much in California. And since it's warm here, I won't give you any. But with your beautiful blue eyes, a bold colored turtleneck will accentuate them even more. Next time you want to dazzle your wife, wear one! But, for now, I've picked out some golf shirts and trousers for you. I figure you to be a 34. Am I right?"

Roy looked at her in amazement. He wasn't used to a woman, besides JoAnne, picking out clothing for him. "Yes, that's my size," was all he could say as he blushed.

"Roy, I do this for a living. I get paid to be able to size up a man, if you get my meaning." She looked at Johnny. "Now your partner here is a skinny one. He's probably a 32." She was used to touching her models when she worked on them.    She reached for him and would have touched him but with Roy here, she stopped. Her actions were not lost on Roy. "With his dark hair, I'd love to dress him in black jeans, a crisp white cotton button down shirt, cowboy boots and a beautiful leather belt with a silver buckle." She gave Johnny the once over imagining him in that attire. "But, I don't have that here and I'd have to get it from the warehouse, so Johnny, you'll have to settle for this." She handed him a bag with clothes in it. The package was sealed so he couldn't look inside.

The intercom buzzed. "Excuse me." She picked up the phone and listened. "Yes, I'll take the call. Tell them to hang on a minute. Roy, Johnny, I have to take this call in private. Can you go back to the conference room and I'll get you as soon as I'm done." Kat led them to the door.

The two men walked back to the conference room. The women employees watched the two men go by. Roy overheard one woman say that these two models were not the typical guys Kat hires. Roy chuckled hearing the women talk about them.

They settled into the conference room. "Well Johnny, I'd say Katherine is special."

"Don't you think I know that, Roy? Don't you think that this whole situation is driving me crazy? This is the last thing I ever thought would happen to me. I never thought I'd see her again after Cancun."

The men waited in the conference room for fifteen minutes. Giselle got them and brought them back to her office.

"I took the liberty to order lunch. It should be here soon. Do you gentlemen have any plans today?" Kat inquired.

"Well, I was planning to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, this afternoon. They have a lecture I'd like to hear." Roy said.

"Oh," Kat said with a hint of disappointment. She looked at Johnny. "Are you going too?"

"Me?" Johnny said and put his right hand to his chest. "Are you kidding? That's Roy's stuff. Nah, I got no plans."

Kat smiled.

Lunch was delivered and the three ate in Kat's office. She wanted to hear more about their lives, so Roy talked about his wife and children. He also shared stories about some of their more weird rescues. After about one hour, Roy checked his watch and realized he had to leave.

"Kat, thanks so much for lunch and for the clothes." Roy stood up.

"I'll have the clothes sent to your hotel, so you don't have to worry about carrying them. Do you know how to get to the museum, Roy?" Kat asked.

"I'm just gonna take a taxi," he said smiling. Johnny got up to walk Roy out.

Before Roy left, Kat asked him a question. "Roy, are you and Johnny going to come to the dinner party?"

Roy looked at Johnny and saw an almost unnoticeable nod.

"Sure, we'll be there. Just give all the info to Junior."

"Junior?"

"It's a long story and I'll let him tell ya," Roy said.

"I'll walk ya to the door, Roy," Johnny said.

The two walked to the elevator.

"Hey, have a good time at the lecture."

"Yeah, you too, Johnny. And, behave," Roy said as he entered into the elevator.

"Behave? Whaddya mean?" Johnny said to the closing elevator door.

Johnny, with a wide smile on his face, walked back into the showroom and headed toward Kat's office. She saw him and smiled.

"Come here Johnny." Kat brought Johnny to the window after closing her office door. Put your hands on the window like this." She demonstrated by placing her hands with her fingers spread apart. Johnny followed suit.

"Johnny Gage, you now have New York City at your fingertips. What do you want to do?" Kat said.

John smiled broadly, like a child in a candy store. "The first place I want to go is to the Empire State Building." Kat picked up her phone and buzzed her secretary.

"Giselle, please cancel all of my afternoon appointments. Mr. Gage and I are touring some stores. If Robert calls, tell him I'll be home late and he should have dinner without me."

Kat took Johnny's hands. She stared into his eyes. Johnny moved closer to Kat and he backed her up into the wall. Johnny encroached her personal space, but she didn't seem to mind. She released her hold on his hands. Johnny moved his hand to her face and ran his fingers over her cheekbones, while cupping her chin. Kat closed her eyes savoring his touch. His hand next ran through her hair, and Kat tilted her head back. She quietly moaned.   Johnny moved closer to her letting his lips skim her lips. There was no protest from Kat this time, so Johnny continued. This time, his lips firmly made contact with hers. He moved his body closer to her, touching her as he pressed her back into the wall.

The kiss was so different from the one they shared in Cancun. That kiss was from so many emotions. This kiss was more passionate. Kat could feel Johnny's body reacting to being so close to her. She too was reacting. Her knees were weak and if she wasn't leaning against the wall, she would have fallen. With his body pressing Kat against the wall, Johnny placed soft sensual kisses trailing down Kat's neck. He would have continued but was stopped as Kat placed her right hand against his chest, feeling his slim, yet strong body, one that she was increasingly becoming attracted to. Her hands continued to explore his lean body as Johnny leaned his right arm against the wall. Closing his eyes, Johnny let Kat gently caress his body.

Kat couldn't let this continue, because she knew where it was going. This time she knew she wouldn't be able to say no to him. Kat bent down to go under Johnny's arm.

Clearing her voice, Kat said, "We better get going, Johnny or �"

Johnny didn't let her finish. He knew what she was going to say. He too felt Kat's body respond to his touch. But he also had to remind himself that she was married. It was one thing to share a passionate kiss, but he also knew where this one action could lead to. No matter what, Kat was married, even if it was unhappily and Johnny was not going to be the one to allow Kat to break her vows.

Johnny was so confused by his feelings, but he softly uttered, "yes, let's go."

***

The two left Kat's Closet; their faces flushed from their encounter. Alone in the elevator, Kat reached over and held Johnny's hand, to show him she cared but was unable to take the next step.

Once outside, their erotic mood lightened. Kat played the tour guide. They went to The Empire State Building. Then they walked through Macys. Kat wanted to show him her line there, so they walked around the second floor as she showed him her designs. Afterward, they walked to Grand Central Station, so Kat could show John the beaux-arts styling. Twenty minutes later, they walked up Fifth Avenue to Central Park.

"Johnny, let's take a horse drawn carriage ride through the park," Kat said. Johnny didn't argue. He was overwhelmed with emotions. In his wildest dreams, he never imagined he'd be spending all of this time with Kat. They rode in the rig drawn by a chestnut mare. They sat close to each other and held hands, knowing no one would see them. Their ride lasted twenty minutes. As they got down from the carriage, Johnny paid the driver.

"I don't know about you, Johnny, but I'm hungry," Kat said.

"Kat, I'm always hungry," Johnny said, patting his stomach.

"Good, I know a small caf� where we can have dinner. It's called Caf� Goulet. They have the best food there!"

So, the couple walked to Caf� Goulet.

"Bonjour Mme Kat. Ca va?" the maitre'd asked.

"Ca va bien? Et tu?"

"Moi aussi. Two for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Right this way."

The host escorted Kat to an intimate table in the back. Johnny smiled watching the exchange. Kat's gentle radiance was all he saw.

"There's no menu, here Johnny. Let me order for you!"

"Okay Kat. I think you know I've never met a food I didn't like.

The waiter came over and looked at Johnny. He pointed to Kat.

"Etienne, we'd like a bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1964, two boeuf bourguignon, two cr�me brulees and two allonges."

The waiter took the order from the maitre d' and disappeared.

"Okay, Kat, please translate," Johnny said.

"Well, we're going to have a bottle of Bordeaux, a beef dish, dessert and coffee."

"What's the beef dish? Is it boeuf bourguignon?"

"Yes, have you had it before?"

"Roy made it once at the station," Johnny said making a face.

"Oh, I guess you didn't like it."

"No, it's not that. At the station, it's hard to get a complete meal without being toned out.

The two ate their meal and talked. There was plenty to catch up on since Cancun. If anyone saw the two, they'd have thought the two were a couple, just by their gestures, giggles and general look on their faces. These two people were radiant.

Johnny talked about certain decisions he needed to make, whether to buy a house or not. Kat opened up as well, discussing her clothing business and the stresses it adds to her life. The one item she didn't discuss was her relationship with Robert.

The couple took their time eating and after dessert, Johnny said, "Kat, I've never had cr�me brulee before, but I'm gonna look for it in LA. This meal was fantastic, the wine, the food and especially the company." Johnny took Kat's hand and held it. She responded in kind by squeezing his.

The moment was broken when the waiter bought the check and handed it to Johnny. He released Kat's hand and looked at the bill. His eyebrows raised when he saw the total. It was $225! Kat saw Johnny's dismayed expression. She didn't realize that this bill would be more than Johnny's lifestyle afforded. However, she didn't want to embarrass him by offering to pay. She kept quiet and watched.

"This is a bit more than I expected. Kat certainly comes from a different economic bracket than I do! I guess I'll pay for it. If I run short on money, I'll just hit Roy up. Chet certainly would laugh if he saw this bill," John thought to himself as he took money from his wallet. He looked up at Kat and saw her smiling. He thought her smile was worth far more than the $225 he just laid out. He started to admit to himself that he was falling in love with Kat. Granted, he only knew her a short time, but he had strong feelings for her. There was nothing he could do about his feelings. Kat was married! He knew that when he returned to LA, he'd have to bury his feelings once again. It was difficult the first time and now would be even more exhausting. But, he'd take one day at a time.

Shaking these thoughts out from his mind, he asked Kat, "Are you ready to leave, Kat?"

"No John, I'm not. I'd like to stay here forever and just be with you. But, we both have lives out there, so I guess I'll get up," Kat said and stood up.

"Au revoir, Etienne."

"Bon soir, Madame."

Kat and Johnny left the restaurant, hand in hand and walked slowly uptown.

***
"Johnny, my apartment building is three blocks away. I think we should stop here. I don't want to run the risk of being seen."

"Kat, I understand. I've had an amazing day today. Tomorrow night will be fun!"

Kat didn't want to say anything about the dinner party, but doubted "fun" was the right term. She moved closer to Johnny and looked up and down the street. Johnny followed her gaze, but didn't know what she was looking for. He took her hands in his. Kat moved nearer. Johnny lowered his head and nuzzled her ear with his nose. He closed his eyes. Her perfume was having an intoxicating effect on him. Under his breath, he said something, but Kat couldn't understand it. She turned her head toward him and they shared a good night kiss.

Their kissing became more passionate once again as their bodies pressed into one another. Johnny wanted to continue to kiss Kat, but she pulled away. With a smile on her face she said, "See ya tomorrow night, fireboy!" She giggled and briskly walked to her apartment.

Johnny also had a grin on his face as he started to walk downtown. He was oblivious to the world around him. What Johnny failed to notice was a double-parked car with its passenger observing Johnny's actions.

***

It was late when Johnny got back to his hotel room. He entered quietly, not wanting to disturb Roy, who he figured was asleep. The room was dark, with a nightlight on in the bathroom. Johnny laughed. More of Roy's fathering was being demonstrated. Johnny went to the bathroom and took care of his personal needs. He changed into his nightclothes and went to bed.

"So Junior, did you have a good day?" Roy asked.

"You could say yes."

Roy didn't have to see it, but he heard the grin on Johnny's face.

"How about you Roy, did you enjoy the lecture?"

"It was boring, so I left early. I ended up walking around Central Park. Much to my surprise I recognized a coupla of people in a horse drawn carriage."

"Anyone I should know?"

"I hope you know what you're doing, John." Roy rarely called his partner John. When used, it was to stress a serious point.

"Roy, I don't know what I'm doin. But I'm living for the moment right now. Maybe it's because we'll be home on Sunday and I'll never see her again and it's safe. I dunno Roy, and really don't wanna talk about it," Johnny said stifling a yawn. "Good night Roy." The conversation ended.

"Night, John." Roy couldn't understand why Johnny felt so emotional about Kat. Sure, she's a beautiful woman, but Johnny had his share of beautiful women before. But Roy remembered how Johnny acted when he met Valerie. He also reacted quite strongly. And that was several years ago when Johnny was younger and more immature. Perhaps his partner was ready for a real relationship. The only bad part of that was Kat was committed to another man.

***

"Whaddya wear to a dinner party, Roy?"

"Well, I know you don't wear a tux," Roy answered.

"Ha ha, very funny." Johnny knew Roy was referring to the time they went to a celebrity gig and rented tuxes. They were very overdressed and embarrassed.

"I guess wearing slacks and a sports jacket. You did bring one, didn't you?" Roy asked.

Johnny looked at Roy slightly embarrassed. "Ah, no I didn't."

"Did you check what Kat gave you?"

"No I didn't. That's a great idea."

Johnny looked in the nicely packed bag and pulled out the clothes. Roy joined him. They both laughed when they noticed the black jeans, dress white shirt and silver belt.

"I guess Kat already decided what you're wearing tonight," Roy said.

"I don't have the boots, at least here," Johnny said laughing. "I guess my shoes will have to do."

So the two men dressed into their evening attire.

They took a taxi to Kat and Robert's apartment. It was a doorman building on the upper westside of Manhattan. They walked into the lobby of the building and were greeted by the concierge.

"Good evening gentlemen, can I help you?"

Johnny was distracted, looking around the apartment building's lobby, so Roy answered. "We're here to visit Katherine and Robert Brookes."

"May I tell them your names?"

"Yes, we're Roy DeSoto and John Gage."

"Certainly. I'll call them up. Just wait one minute."

The concierge called the Brookes' apartment. Johnny elbowed Roy. "Look at this place. I bet it costs a mint to live here."

Roy looked around and noticed how elegantly the lobby was furnished. He couldn't imagine how much it cost to live in a building like this. He knew his mortgage payments wouldn't cover renting here.

The concierge got their attention. "Sirs, if you go to elevator number one, you'll be escorted to their apartment. The elevator is that way." The concierge pointed toward the bank of elevators. A uniformed man escorted them to the elevator.

"The Brookes' apartment, correct?" he asked.

Roy nodded his head in agreement.

The elevator operator took the two men to the penthouse floor. The elevator opened to a lobby that had only two doors. Roy let out a low whistle. The two men walked to one door. Before knocking, the door opened.

Johnny and Roy looked at each other and entered the apartment. A housekeeper greeted them. She ushered them into the apartment.

"Would you look at this place?" Johnny looked around and saw an impressively decorated home. The apartment was filled with wraparound windows that overlooked Central Park.

"This is some place," Roy stated.

"Johnny, Roy, you made it!" Kat came out from another room to greet them.

"You are the first guests here tonight. New Yorkers have a penchant for running late. It's chic to be late in some circles. Let me give you a tour. Robert's still getting ready."

Kat was wearing a simple black dress with black sandals. She wore her hair down. She smiled at what Johnny was wearing as she gave him the once over.

"I guess you opened your gift, Johnny! I must admit, I do have good taste in clothes. If you weren't so skinny, you could model," Kat said with a slight laugh. Johnny blushed.

"Him, model? Don't even say that to him. His ego won't be able to handle it," Roy said.

"My ego? My ego?! Who was it who ended up modeling with those two women? Was it me? Noooo, it was you and you were a bear to live with afterwards. JoAnne was the only one to put you back in your place," Johnny said as he pointed first to himself and then to Roy.

"That's a story I'd like to hear one day," Kat said.

The two men shook their heads and Kat laughed. She truly loved the camaraderie these two men shared. She knew it to be a rare gift.

Kat showed them around the apartment displaying the living room, the den, the dining room and the kitchen. She also pointed out the wraparound terrace.

"Why don't you two go outside. I've got to do some more preparation before the other guests arrive and I need to see how Robert's coming along.

The two men walked onto the terrace. It was a warm summer night and the city's haze was thick.

"Look at this view." Roy pointed at Central Park below. Kat and Robert's apartment faced east and south, which afforded a view of the park and downtown Manhattan.

"Wow," Johnny said as he gazed upon the city lights flickering in the smog.

Roy answered, "You can say that again. I just keep thinking how much all of this must cost."

"I had no idea that they're well-to-do. I mean I figured they got money, but not like this. Makes you wonder," Johnny said.

The two men stood on the terrace watching the city night come to life. Inside the apartment, people were setting up for the party. Kat and Robert invited twenty or so people, so it was a small gathering.

People started to arrive so Johnny and Roy walked back inside. Robert still did not make his presence known. Kat played hostess and introduced Johnny and Roy to her guests.

The evening progressed slowly with Robert appearing after all of the partygoers arrived.

Robert moved his wheelchair over to the bar. He took out a bottle of scotch and poured a glass and then poured a liquid into the drink and swirled it around so the liquid would combine with the scotch. He planned to give the drink to Johnny and let Kat see how her fireman friend really was.

He saw Roy talking with Kat's designer and Johnny was talking with one of Kat's cousins.

"John, come here, I want you to taste something," Robert called out. John ended his conversation and walked over to Robert.

"This is 22 year old scotch. Very fine, very smooth." Robert handed the glass to him. Johnny looked at it but didn't drink it. "Thanks. Hey Roy, come here, you gotta try this." He beckoned with his free hand.

Roy walked over and took the drink from Johnny's hand. "Thanks, pardna."

"Hey Robert, can ya pour me another shot?" Johnny asked.

Robert looked at Johnny but didn't show any concern. The drink was intended for Johnny. He had no malice for Roy. In fact, he enjoyed the conversation they shared during the gala. But, there was nothing he would or could do now. Too bad he didn't have any more of the drug. He poured another shot for Johnny and one for himself. He raised his glass.

"To my Californian friends," Robert said. The three men drank their shot. Even though Robert said it was good stuff, Roy made a face, as he tasted the liquid. It was warm going down, but had a bit of an aftertaste. He figured the scotch was beginning to go rancid.

"That's good stuff, Robert. Thanks," Johnny said. He looked at Roy who just smiled. Robert watched Roy, knowing that in less than fifteen minutes, the drug would take effect.

"Yes, thanks Robert. I can't say I've ever had the opportunity to try aged malt," Roy said.

Robert smiled and said, "My pleasure. If you want more later, let me know. I've got to go mingle with my other guests. I'll talk with you later." Robert wheeled his chair away.

Roy felt flush. He looked around and decided to get a glass of water. He walked to the bar and poured himself some. Johnny on the other hand walked over to a small group of people and talked with them. Kat was in the kitchen, overseeing the food preparation.

Roy was still warm, so he decided to go out on the balcony. He was beginning to feel the effects of the drug but was unaware that he was poisoned. He shook his head as he stood on the terrace. He walked over to the rail and held on and stared. The lights of the city were dancing and their sight hypnotized him. He was feeling lightheaded but wouldn't dare release the banister. He had an irrational fear that he'd fall if he let go. He couldn't turn his head to find Johnny. He was scared that if he moved, the lights would explode. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was sweating profusely. He licked his dry lips, hoping to spell his need for water. It didn't work. His body started to shake, but his grip on the guardrail remained steadfast.

While Roy was going through his drug-induced torture, Johnny was talking with fellow guests. Kat came out from the kitchen and noticed the balcony door opened. She walked out on the terrace and saw Roy there. She smiled as she walked over to him.

"It's a beautiful view, Roy, isn't it?" she asked. Roy didn't respond. He didn't even look at her.

Kat walked closer and noticed Roy's white knuckles and he was sweating profusely.

"Roy, are you okay?" She touched his arm.

Roy flinched. He barely said, "get Johnny!"

Kat, hearing the fear in his voice and seeing the look on his face went inside. She walked calmly to Johnny.

"Johnny, can I see you a minute?" she asked him. "Excuse us." She took Johnny's arm and led him to the terrace. While walking slowly she said, "Roy is out there and he looks petrified. He told me to get you."

The smile on Johnny's face disappeared. He didn't want to alarm the other guests so he didn't rush outside. On the terrace he noticed Roy standing stiffly, holding onto the railing. He walked slowly to Roy, seeing Roy's overall demeanor.

"Hey Roy. Are you okay?" Johnny asked with a half laugh. Kat stood on the terrace out of the way. Robert wheeled himself over to watch.

"Johnny, I'm afraid to move," Roy said with fear.

Johnny knew Roy's fear of height, but it never bothered him before. And they were standing out here only twenty minutes earlier. He knew something had to be wrong but he had to calm his friend.

"Roy, you're safe here. You're not gonna fall. I'm gonna come over to your right side and grab your arm."

"NO DON'T COME NEAR ME! IF I LET GO, I'M GONNA FALL!" Roy screamed. His shriek was noticed by the guests, who gathered around Robert to watch the excitement.   They were talking amongst themselves trying to figure what was going on.

"Roy, you are not going to fall. I'd never let that happen to you. Look at me. I'm right here and I'm not gonna let you fall." Roy did not break his outward stare.

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. He wished his safety equipment was with him. He knew that would offer Roy some sort of security.

"Kat, get me some strong leather belts and any rope you have," Johnny asked.

Kat didn't ask. She moved quickly into the apartment and gathered what Johnny requested.

"Roy, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rig a safety line and wrap it around you and tie it to me, just like we do back in LA. Then, you're gonna release your grip and I'll pull you back here, against the wall and we'll sit down. Okay?"

Roy nodded his head ever slightly. Part of Roy, the rational part, knew what Johnny said was correct. The other part had this irrational fear that was overtaking his sane side. All Roy could utter was, "hurry."

Kat came out with the belts and rope. Johnny looked through them and took the strongest ones he could find. He interlocked them, tested them and tied the rope on it. He walked over to Roy and calmly started talking.

"Now Roy, I'm gonna need you to put your foot in here. Just lift it up an' I'll slip it under." Whether it was Johnny's calm voice or Roy's determination, he lifted his foot. "Good Roy. Now let's do the other foot." Just as before, Roy lifted his left foot and Johnny was able to maneuver the makeshift safety belt.

"Roy, I'm gonna move the belt up higher to your waist and tighten it. I've got the rope secured here and to me. We're not gonna fall, Roy. I'd never let that happen to you. JoAnne would never cook for me again!" Johnny said, trying to relieve some of the tension.

That statement worked, as Roy laughed. But he was still shaking and sweating profusely. Roy was rapidly opening and closing his eyes, trying to keep his sweat from stinging his eyes.

"Roy, the belt is all secured. I'm gonna need you to release the rail. Can you do it yourself, or do you need my help?"

Roy didn't look at Johnny. He tried to move his hands. Johnny could see his muscles trying to, but without any success. Johnny decided Roy's condition was worsening and he had to act now.

"Okay Roy, let's go to plan B. I'm gonna walk over to you and move your hands. I got your back, Pal." Johnny slowly stood next to Roy. He tried to make eye contact with Roy, but Roy was looking straight ahead. Johnny put his hands on the rail and was able to release the grip the left hand had. The right hand was more difficult. Johnny knew from Roy's behavior that Roy was in trouble and he doubted it had to do with his fear of heights. Something had a grip on his partner. Johnny never, ever saw Roy this terrified.

"Come on Roy, ya gotta help me. Remember that time I was hanging from that scaffolding, only by the safety belt? I thought I was gonna die from either falling or that monkey virus. 'Member how you talked me through it, even tho' my fever musta been 108. I trusted you. Now you gotta do the same for me."

After saying that, Roy's grip on the banister eased and Johnny was able to grab him. Once released, Roy fainted.

***
An ambulance was called and Roy was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital's emergency room. Johnny was allowed to ride in with the ambulance, once he showed his identification to the ambulance attendants. He couldn't sit in the back with Roy, but kept looking through the window to watch over his stricken friend. Only an ambulance attendant and driver attended to Roy. No paramedics responded to this call, so Johnny was unable to get Roy's vital signs beyond pulse and respiration.

Roy was rushed into the emergency treatment room, with Johnny following behind.

"I'm sorry sir, you can't come in here," a nurse said.

"But�"

"No buts sir. These are our rules. The waiting room is down the hall. I'll find you as soon as I know something." She walked away before Johnny had a chance to challenge her.

Johnny slowly walked to the waiting room. It was filled with people, waiting on care or loved ones waiting for words on their own. He paced back and forth, agitated about what was wrong with Roy. Johnny was used to being in control and able to walk around a hospital and get the information he needed when he needed it. This waiting was quite difficult for him. He was deep in thought replaying the evening's events, trying to determine what would set Roy off.

"Johnny?" Kat approached him and put her hand on his arm.

Johnny jumped from Kat's touch.

"I'm sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to scare you." She saw the pain and concern in Johnny's face. "Any word on Roy?"

Johnny shook his head no. In a soft voice he answered, "No, and they wouldn't let me go in there."

"He'll be okay, Johnny." Kat squeezed Johnny's arm.

"You don't know that," Johnny yelled at her. The anger in Johnny's voice caused Kat to cringe and back up. "I'm sorry Kat. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm worried. This waiting is killing me." Johnny placed his hand on her back.

"It was so strange, Johnny. It looked like Roy was having a bad trip."

"Kat, Roy does not do drugs," John spat out. His anger returned.

"Johnny, I know that. But his actions were similar�." Kat didn't finish what she was saying as a nurse approached them.

"You came in with Mr. DeSoto." It was a statement more than a question. Johnny shook his head. "Come with me."

Kat and Johnny followed the nurse to the emergency room. She brought them over to where Roy was. He appeared to be asleep.

"The doctor took blood. He'll be right back but he's going to want to talk to you."

"How's he doing?" Johnny asked.

"He's quiet now." The nurse walked away. Johnny walked over to the gurney and looked at his ashen friend. Roy was hooked up to an EKG machine. Two IVs hung from a pole. Johnny looked at the monitors and saw Roy's pulse, respiration and blood pressure were slightly above normal. He didn't hear the doctor walk in.

"I'm Doctor Hoffman. I understand you're Mr. DeSoto's friend."

"Yes, I'm John Gage." Johnny took his identification out and showed it to the doctor. "We're paramedics from LA. What's wrong with him?"

"Well Mr. Gage, I was hoping you would tell me what happened."

"We were at a dinner party, eating and drinking. Roy went out for some fresh air and then started acting strange, paranoid. I had to talk him down and then he fainted. I knew he was in trouble."

"Anyone else have this kind of reaction?" The doctor looked at Johnny who then looked at Kat.

She shook her head no. "None of my other guests had any problems."

"Do you know what Mr. DeSoto ate?"

Both Kat and John shook their heads no.

"I see. Well, we're running a toxicology screen and we'll know soon enough. Does Mr. DeSoto take any recreational drugs?"

Johnny was angered at this question. "No way doc. Like I said, we're both paramedics. We rescue people who go through this." Realization dawned on Johnny. "You think this was an effect of a drug?"

"Perhaps, Mr. Gage. We'll know soon. Meanwhile, Mr. DeSoto is resting. I'm going to admit him overnight for observations."

"Can you arrange that I stay with him?"

The doctor was about to say no, but realized Gage wouldn't take that answer.

"Let me see what I can arrange. Why don't you both go back to the waiting room. I'll send someone to get you when I know more."

"Gimme a minute. I want to talk to Roy." Johnny looked at Kat. "Why don't you go to the waiting area and I'll join ya in a minute."

Kat shook her head and walked away.

"Doc?"

"Yes Mr. Gage?"

"Could Roy have been poisoned?"

"Poisoned?"

"Yeah, given something to make this happen?"

"I won't know until I see the screening. What makes you think that?"

"I was given something to drink and I gave it to him to taste."

"I'm sorry, I'm not following you."

"The person who gave me the drink, eh, forget about it." Johnny walked over to Roy. He put his hand on Roy's shoulder, even though Roy was asleep. He bent down. "Listen Pally. I'll be outside, but as soon as they move you to a room, I'll be there. Hang in there." Johnny squeezed Roy's shoulder and left the area. He slowly walked back to the waiting room. He saw Kat there with Robert.

"How is he, John?" Robert asked.

"He's resting comfortable and they'll admit him overnight."

"What happened?"

"Dunno," Johnny said. He put his hands in his pockets and walked away. Johnny never really liked Robert because of his growing feelings for Kat. Now, he suspected that Robert knew something was going on. Johnny didn't want to act on his doubts, so he felt it better to walk away.

After an hour, the Doctor returned, looking for Johnny. The doctor approached Johnny, who was sitting by himself.

"Mr. Gage, Mr. DeSoto is resting comfortably in room 452. I am going to keep him here overnight."

"What did you find?" Johnny asked.

"The screening showed signs of a hallucinogenic. Only a trace was found. It was a chemical found in a certain type of mushroom. Are you sure Mr. DeSoto didn't ingest anything?

Johnny shook his head, "Nah, there was nothing there like that. But he'll be okay, won't he?"

The doctor smiled, "Yes, he'll be fine. He'll sleep it off overnight and can be released in the morning. I want him to take it easy. How long are you in New York?"

"We leave the day after tomorrow."

"I'll leave you in charge to make sure he rests. And yes, I've arranged for you to stay there in his room."

Johnny smiled. "Thanks Doc. And I'll make sure he takes it easy." Johnny's shoulders slumped a bit, relieved that his friend was going to be okay. He walked back to the waiting room and saw Kat sitting next to Robert, holding his hand.

"He's gonna be okay. I'm going to his room."

"Do they know what happened, John?" Robert questioned.

Johnny looked at him and wanted to challenge him, but knew it wasn't the time or the place. Plus, he wanted to get upstairs to be with Roy. "No, the doctors think Roy ate something that caused an allergic reaction."

"That was some kind of reaction, Johnny," Kat said.

Johnny looked at her but didn't answer. "I'm going to stay with him."

"If there's anything you need from us, let us know," Robert said.

Johnny could see how insincere Robert's comment was. "Thanks for coming here, but I'll take care of him now." His dismissal was enough, but he turned around and walked to the elevator. He was too angry to look at Kat. Hell, as far as he was concerned, Kat was dangerous for him and trouble for Roy. For all he knew, that hallucinogen was meant for him. Who knows how his body would react to that drug. That thought sent a shiver through his soul. The sooner he was back in Los Angeles, the better he'd be. Once again, he'd bury his thoughts and memories of Kat.

***

"After last night, Roy, the last thing I want are complications. Whaddya wanna do tonight?" Johnny asked.

"Well, I'd like to take a walk through SoHo, see a Broadway show."

Johnny ran his hand through his hair and said, "All of that, huh? Well before you got sick, I got us tickets to Mets versus the Dodgers. I hope ya don't mind. Do you think you're up to it?" Roy, not into baseball, didn't mind. He spent the day resting after being released from the hospital. There were no after effects and Roy was feeling back to normal.

Johnny didn't share his concerns with Roy regarding his reaction the previous night. Just as he promised the doctor, Johnny made sure Roy took it easy. They both agreed not to tell JoAnne about this incident and chalked it up to a life experience. Johnny wasn't sure what the doctors told Roy, but he suspected Roy knew something was not right. The two had a tacit agreement and didn't discuss the party or the incident any further.

The two men checked with the hotel's concierge and got directions to Queens. They were told the best way to get to Shea Stadium was to take the subway.

"Well that will be a new experience," Johnny said as he bought two subway tokens.

"I've heard a lot about the subways. I guess it will be safe," Roy said as he paid for his fare.

So, the two men took the subway to Shea Stadium.

The game was good, if you were a Dodgers fan. The two paramedics ate hotdogs, drank soda and generally had a good time.

The game was over early as the Dodgers scored many runs. Many Met fans left early since the game was a blowout. Roy and Johnny were in no hurry to leave, as it was a nice night and the last one they'd spend in New York.

Once the game was over, the two friends got on the #7 train and headed back to Manhattan. They rode back in silence, tired after a long day.

The eight-car train was basically empty. There were some fans from the game and other people traveling to parts of the city unknown. The two men leaned their heads back against the train, closed their eyes and drifted into their own world. The train left Hunter's Point and headed toward Grand Central Station. All of a sudden loud sounds emanated from the train. It was a very unnatural sound of metal scraping against metal. The two men woke up to find the train moving and jostling in angles it wasn't meant to. One large jolt threw the car against something, tumbling off the tracks in a position it shouldn't be. John and Roy were thrown from their seats and then the lights went out. That's when the screaming started.

Emergency lights went on. People were heard yelling and moaning. Johnny surveyed the scene and saw that Roy was unconscious. His paramedic instincts took over as he reached over to his friend and felt for a pulse. Relieved to find one and it was strong, Johnny looked around. There were four other people in this subway car, dazed and bleeding. The car was on its side so it took Johnny a bit of balancing to walk over to the other people and assess their injuries. He offered what limited first aid he could give. Johnny saw Roy coming to and went over to him.

"What happened?" a groggy Roy asked. His hand moved to his head and found a bump on his forehead. When he brought his hand down, there was blood on it.

"I don't know. I think the train derailed." Johnny helped his friend get to his feet. "Are you okay?" Johnny saw the bleeding wound on his friend's head.

Roy thought about it, taking a physical inventory and shook his head indicating he was okay. "Are there more people on this train?" asked Roy.

"I think so." Without thinking of their own safety, the two paramedics went to each car and helped move all of the passengers to the last one. The two men saw how badly damaged the front of the train was. There was no way they could reach those cars without equipment.   Unfortunately, not everyone survived, including the conductor. The front of the train was destroyed. But, the two paramedics helped as many of the victims as they could, even though the temperature in the tunnel was more than 90 degrees.

"Do you smell that, Roy?" Of course he did. No matter where you live, the smell of smoke was unmistakable. The two firemen began to see their situation go from bad to worse. There was no radio service and Johnny did not know how far into the tunnel they were. He didn't know the subway! He wasn't from New York!

"You know Roy, we gotta get these people outta here. If the heat doesn't get us, the smoke will. We can lead the way, but we gotta make sure they don't touch the third rail."

Roy understood and shook his head in agreement. Roy stood up and said, "My name is Roy and this is John and we're both firemen. As you can probably tell, we have to move out of here. We don't know when the search and rescue team will get here, but with this smoke, we've got to move to where it's safe. I want you all to take a piece of cloth and keep it over your nose and mouth. Try to keep low to the ground. We need you all to help each other. Let's move to the last car to detrain." In a crisis situation, Roy was always the one with the comforting tone and this was no exception.   The passengers, some injured, moved to the back of the train where Johnny and Roy helped them off. Johnny was a bit concerned about Roy. He was pale and probably dehydrated which he didn't need after what he went through twenty-four hours before. The tunnel was hot! Johnny didn't let Roy know that his own ribs were hurting him. He must have hit something when the train rolled on its side. But it didn't matter. The lives of these people and Roy were depending on him.

Roy and Johnny decided that Johnny would lead the group and Roy would follow the rear. Everyone buddied up and walked slowly through the dark, hot tunnel. Some people moaned or sobbed softly as they walked. Johnny would turn around often to make sure people were keeping away from the third rail and also to check on Roy. He didn't know how far they had to go. But he also knew that the search and rescue team, they same men they met earlier in the week, would eventually show.

He was worried about the smoke and the heat. One passenger fainted and the group had to stop. Roy tended to her. Another passenger took out a bottle of water and shared it with the grateful passengers. The disabled passenger was revived and was given some water to consume.

Roy and John were growing more concerned. How long were they in here? An hour? More? The tired group continued their slow trek after taking another break. No one was talking or even sobbing. The smoke and heat were getting to everyone, including the two paramedics.

Johnny thought he was hallucinating. He saw dancing lights floating toward him. But when he heard voices, he knew that the search and rescue team found them. Johnny dropped back to let the rescue people take the other passengers first. He went back to be with Roy. Even with the lack of light, he could tell that Roy was exhausted. Not only having a probable concussion, his partner, his friend, was dehydrated. Johnny remembered the time Roy was overcome in a bar fire, looking for a guy who was already out of the building. Roy became disoriented and had to be carried out. Johnny did not want this to happen again. Usually Johnny was the victim, but for the second time in two days, Johnny was worried about Roy.

Finally, the search and rescue team took Johnny and Roy, two people per man, and helped them walk the rest of the way out of the tunnel, back to the Hunter's Point train station. Triage was set up there. As much as Johnny or Roy wanted to help and check on the others, they were in no shape to do so. They were given water and oxygen. IVs were readied. Roy was out of it. His eyes were closed as he leaned back. Johnny winced as the EMT touched his ribs.

Several of the firefighters and police were talking amongst themselves and looking at Johnny and Roy. A firefighter official came over to the two weary men. "I understand you two organized this rescue and brought all these people out. One of the passengers said you're firefighters." With that, Roy opened his eyes, lowered his oxygen mask and said, "Cap, I'm Roy DeSoto and this is my partner, John Gage. We're LA county firefighter/paramedics." After saying that, he put the oxygen back over his face and closed his eyes.

"I guess you were in town for the meeting.   Well, you did a damn good job," said the firefighter officer.

With the situation under control, all of the patients were transported to Bellevue Hospital. Both Roy and Johnny were taken to x-rays - Roy for his head and Johnny for his ribs. The doctors determined Roy had a concussion, some minor cuts and dehydration. Johnny suffered from bruised ribs and dehydration. They were both admitted and shared a room. Roy managed to call JoAnne to tell her what happened and to assure her that they were both okay. Their return trip to Los Angeles would be delayed until the doctors gave them the okay to travel.

***

Of course the New York press couldn't leave this alone. The story made it to the national news. LA County 51 A shift was watching the television news and saw the report on how two LAFD firemen saved the lives of the people on the train. Chet looked at the Cap and said, "No, it couldn't be them Cap. There are seven million people in NY!!" Then Kelly thought about it some more. "It wouldn't surprise me if it was them. Trouble follows Gage everywhere."

"Well Kelly, I'll call JoAnne and see." With that said, Captain Stanley got up and went to his office. Five minutes later, he came back and told the A shift, "Yes it was them. But JoAnne said they're okay. Roy's got a concussion and some smoke inhalation. Johnny's got some bruised ribs." The Cap told him what little JoAnne knew.

Chet couldn't resist. "I told Roy New York was a dangerous place. That Gage. He takes Roy to such dangerous places."

***

The next morning Roy was watching television and John had his eyes closed. There was a gentle knock on their hospital door and then it opened. Roy looked up and saw Kat.

"Can I come in?"

Hearing her voice startled Johnny and he opened his eyes. Kat walked into the room.

Kat continued, "Robert's in physical therapy now. I bribed one of the nurses to let me in to see how you're both doing."

Johnny sat up and moved his blanket up further, covering himself.

Roy answered first. "Well, we'll be outta here tomorrow and our flight is rescheduled for the day after."

Kat walked over to Johnny's side of the room. She looked at Roy then at John.

"Kat, it's okay. You don't have to hide anything. Roy knows."

"I should have figured that, based on what you told me about him."

"How are you, Johnny?" She moved closer to his bed and moved a stray lock of his hair.

"Kat, I'm okay now." As much as he knew Kat was wrong for him, he was glad to see her.

"I can't stay long. Robert doesn't know that I came up here. He thinks I went for coffee. I keep running away from you, Johnny Gage."

Johnny took Kat's hand. "It's all right, Kat. I know you'd stay longer if you could. I guess this is our good-bye."

Kat took his hand, then bent down and kissed John on his forehead. She hovered longer than she should. Johnny closed his eyes, as he smelled her perfume, a mixture of rose and patchouli. Once again, the scent again reminded him of Cancun. He abruptly let go of her hand.

Kat opened her eyes and stood up. She looked at Roy, who was watching. "Roy, I wish I could have met you under different circumstances. You take good care of him for me."

Roy just nodded and said gently, "I will."

"Johnny, I won't forget you. If only things were different, I�."

Johnny didn't let her finish. He put his fingers up to cover her mouth. "Don't say it, Kat. We're playing the cards we're dealt."

"How can you be so strong? That's part of your training, isn't it?" Kat paused to keep her emotions in check. The emotions were getting to her.   Her voice cracked from feelings. "I've gotta go Johnny Gage�." She didn't finish. She walked to the door, looked back at him one last time. "Sometimes, someone's end is another's beginning." After saying that and taking one last look at Johnny, she walked out of the room.

Roy wanted to say something to his friend, but didn't know if anything he could say would ease the pain Johnny was certainly feeling now.

John turned away from Roy, so he couldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes. Johnny was so confused. Roy looked away and turned his television back on.

***
The two men took a taxi to Kennedy Airport. They were still recovering from their physical ordeal. Johnny was also dealing with his own internal emotional turmoil.

Stepping out from the cab, Roy walked to the trunk of the car to retrieve their luggage. He handed Johnny's baggage to him, after Johnny paid the taxi driver. Johnny put the receipt in his pocket and picked up his garment bag.

"It's this way," Roy said to Johnny. He noticed that Johnny was keeping his distance. Roy thought Johnny was having a difficult time coming to terms with this trip and everything he experienced in New York.

The two walked to the ticket counter to check in. Roy handed both tickets to the ticket agent. Johnny stood next to Roy, but his mind was elsewhere.

"Mr. DeSoto, I'm afraid these tickets are no good."

"Come again?" Roy asked.

"I see that your tickets were voided and replaced with these first class passage," the agent said.

"First class?" Roy asked. Johnny heard Roy's comment and looked at the ticket agent.

"Yes, first class. Let me see what the computer says." She punched in some keys and a screen materialized.

"I see that your tickets were purchased by a K. Brookes. Is this going to be a problem?" The woman earnestly asked.

"No, no problem at all," Roy said. He took the new tickets and gave one to Johnny. They both put their luggage on the scale and watched them get labeled for LAX.

"Your flight will depart in thirty minutes from gate 45. Have a nice trip, gentlemen."

"Thanks." Roy said.

Johnny heard the gate number and started to walk. He didn't check to see if Roy followed him. Roy knew Johnny's moods and figured he would work out his feelings on his own timetable. Sometimes a quirky, noisy Johnny was annoying, but Roy would take that over a sullen, depressed partner any day.

They boarded the plane. When the stewardess offered beverage service, Johnny ordered scotch. Roy ordered a soda. Johnny drank his scotch and ordered another. The stewardess didn't hesitate giving him another. Johnny down his second drink as if it was water.

Johnny was looking around for the stewardess to order another, when Roy spoke up.

"Hey, it's a six hour flight. Don't you think you should pace yourself, Johnny?" Roy said in a joking tone, but his implication was clear.

Johnny looked at him. Roy smiled and Johnny half-grinned. He decided not to have another drink. He decided to look out the window since he was in the window seat. Roy relaxed as the jumbo jet rolled down the runway to take off.

The jet ascended over Jamaica Bay and slowly banked west. It passed south of Manhattan but anyone sitting on the right side of the plane was able to see the steel and concrete island. Johnny pressed his face into the glass looking at the buildings. He let out a sigh.

Roy was thinking how different this flight was compared to the one they took coming east. Johnny chattered the whole way on that flight. Although Roy pretended to be annoyed, he was just as excited as Johnny was. This flight going home was going to be a long, quiet one.

Roy moved his seat back to relax and listen to the complimentary music. He was about to put his headset on when Johnny started to talk.

"Ya know Roy, I don't understand something."

Roy looked at him, but didn't say anything. He waited for Johnny to continue.

"Why does it have to be so difficult? Haven't I paid my dues?"

"What's difficult, Johnny?"

Johnny didn't answer, but looked at Roy.

Roy just shook his head. Johnny didn't continue. He turned and looked back out the window.

Roy wanted to help his friend with his anguish, but couldn't offer anything to say. After a bit of silence Roy tapped his friend's arm. Johnny looked at Roy with his glistening eyes.

"Johnny, one thing I've learned is if it's meant to be, it will be." He paused before continuing. "I'm sure when we're back at Rampart there'll be a whole slew of new nurses you'll want to meet." Roy smiled.

Johnny smiled back at him. "Yeah, I guess so." If only Johnny believed him.

Author's comments: I need to thank my inner circle who helped me with this story.   Their encouragement got me over my muddles and roadbocks.. And thanks to Kat for without her, there would be no Johnny's Green Pen.

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