If I Should Die
by : Icecat62


"Roy...do you ever think about dyin'?"

Roy turned his head and flicked on his flashlight. He looked down at his partner laying on the ground beside him. He noticed that his skin had become ashen, his breathing more labored. They needed to get out of there soon or...no...he wouldn't think it. Not now.

"Roy?"

"Yeah Johnny?"

"Do you ever think about it?"

Licking his lips, Roy frowned. "I try not to, but sometimes I can't help it."

Gage tried shifting into a more comfortable position and winced. A wave of dizziness and nausea hit him

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the cold hard ground beneath him. The rocky surface mingled with dirt, the sharp stones cutting into his legs and back through the material of his uniform. Curling his fingers into the surface, he tried to figure out if it was sand based or had more gravel than dirt.

Once the dizziness faded, he opened his eyes, finding Roy staring at him. The concern was obvious, the fear in his partners eyes told him he was in deeper trouble than he'd been in a long time.

Taking several deep breaths, he managed a weak smile, trying to mask the pain. He didn't want Roy to worry about him, but he had things that needed to be said.

"Well...I've been kinda' thinkin'...a lot. If I should die..."

Roy's voice rose a fraction. "You're not going to die."

"I hope not, but...Roy...look at me."

Roy had turned his head away from him. He had been looking at his partner way too much in the past hour and his training told him the same thing over and over. If Gage didn't get treatment soon, he would die.

Gage's voice was weaker as he continued talking, making Roy turn back to him. The feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming. All his training was worthless without the proper supplies.

"If I should die...all my stuff...you know, my will, burial...it's in a shoe box on the top shelf of the hall closet."

Gage brought a hand up to his chest, wincing as the pain flared when he began laughing at Roy's reaction to what he said.

"You keep your papers in a shoe box?!"

Roy leaned over him, resting a hand on his shoulder as Gage's laughter choked off into gasps of pain.

"I don't have...a safety deposit."

"That's okay. You'll get one after we get out of here."

Gage nodded his head in agreement and closed his eyes. The pain was overwhelming, then it began to fade, his body went limp. His head lolled to the side as he lost consciousness.

"Johnny? Johnny!"

Placing his fingers on Gage's jugular, Roy breathed a sigh of relief as he found a pulse. It was weak, but it meant his friend was still alive.

He decided to use Gage's unconscious state to check on his injuries. Looking at his face, he noted that the deep cut near his temple had finally clotted. Reaching over, he palpitated the abdominal region, cringing at what he found. It wasn't rock hard, but there was evidence of rigidity, a sure sign that the Gage was bleeding internally.

Gage moved under his touch, letting out a light moan as he struggled back to consciousness. Looking around, he tried to blink away the fuzziness. He stared blankly at Roy and frowned as he came back into focus.

"Sorry...didn't mean to leave."

"That's okay Junior."

"How'm doin'?"

"Not bad."

"Uh huh..."

His voice trailed off and when he spoke again, it had lost all of its teasing edge. "You can have the Rover."

"Johnny, you're going to be okay."

Gage ignored him. "Make sure the bank...make sure they transfer the accounts...to Chris an' Jennifer."

Roy gave Gage a curious look. "Accounts?"

Gage tried to smile, but only managed a grimace. "I have accounts for them...college money."

"What?!"

Gage shifted again, taking a deep breath that he held until the pain subsided somewhat.

"Been savin' for a while."

"Johnny, you shouldn't be doing that."

Gage gave him a confused look. "Why?"

"For one you can't afford it."

His confusion gave way to a proud smile. "Can too...I'm their Uncle."

He bit down on his lip as a sharp pain knifed through his gut. Curling his hands into tight fists, he closed his eyes, concentrating on staying conscious. When the pain lessened, he looked back at Roy. He wanted to cry, but he wouldn't let Roy see him that way. Remember him like that.

His voice cracked slightly, betraying his emotions no matter how hard he tried to hide them. "I really wanted to watch em' grow. Chris...he's so smart an' Jenny...she's so pretty. You'll have to watch her for me...make sure she stays...stays away from guys like me."

The smile he tried to give Roy turned into another wince.

"They'll find us soon. You're not going to die."

"Yeah...not gonna..." He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. It was getting to hard to do much of anything now. Talking had left him exhausted.

Roy looked down at Gage, wondering if he would have to carry out his friends instructions. He couldn't picture having to tell his children that their 'uncle' was dead. Even he was giving up hope of them being rescued in time. The luck that had sheltered them so often in the past seemed to have finally run out.

Running a hand over his face, Roy tried to shake off the feeling of impending doom. Not for himself, he knew that his injuries weren't life threatening.

"It's hard to believe we got stuck here like this. Do you know how sick I am of getting trapped in dark places?"

Gage's response was slow, his speech slurred. "Mmmtoo."

Roy could see that he was losing him. Time was the only factor now and they were running out of it. If only someone would find them, then Gage would be all right. He'd be taken to Rampart and they fix him up like they always did.

Gage took a shuddering breath, his pain filled eyes staring blindly above him. Taking a hand, Roy gently brushed his partner's hair away from his brow. His skin was too cold. A small noise drew his attention away from him.

Tilting his head to the side, Roy could swear he heard voices. Holding his breath, he waited to see if the noise happened again. There it was. He couldn't keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Johnny, did you hear that?!"

Gage didn't move or reply, his breathing was shallow, his eyes closed. He pushed him gently on the shoulder, causing Gage's eyes to open slightly. "Don't give up on me yet partner, the cavalry's here."

Gage frowned and mouthed something.

"What did you say Johnny?"

Gritting his teeth against his own pain, Roy leaned closely to Gage so he could hear him. "Johnny?"

The voice was weak, but through the pain he could still hear his friends ironic humor. "Bad guys."

Sitting back slightly, Roy frowned, then a smile lit up his face. "Sorry Junior...I guess I shouldn't have put it that way."

A flicker of a smile touched Gage's lips and quickly disappeared as he lost consciousness again.

A loud noise behind him caused Roy to straighten. Twisting around, he gasped as a sharp searing pain shot through his leg. He ignored the pain as he watched a part of the dirt wall begin to crumble.

The crumbling continued, then a shaft of light pierced the dim cramped area that they were trapped in. The small shaft of light expanded to illuminate their earthen tomb.

Marco stuck his head and shoulders through the opening. His eyes flickered over Roy, then rested on Gage's prone figure. Before Roy could say anything, Marco peered over his shoulder, calling out instructions. There was some movement, then he could hear Chet talking rapidly to someone else. Gritting his teeth, Roy sat up straighter.

"Glad to see you Marco."

"Likewise Roy." Marco eyed him again. "Broken leg?"

Roy smiled. "You're getting good. Have you ever considered becoming a paramedic?"

Marco made a face and shook his head no. "That's your job...and John's." He looked pointedly at Gage. "How bad is he?"

Roy's face fell, the fear now coming back.

"He's pretty bad. We need to get him to Rampart as soon as possible."

Marco looked back over his shoulder. "Brice and Bellingham are here. They'll have you guys out of here in no time."

Marco dug some more of the dirt out of the way and moved back from the opening. He was replaced by Bellingham, who smiled at Roy. "Can't you two ever do things the easy way?"

Crawling into the enclosed space, he went to check on Roy first. Roy brushed him aside. "Get Johnny out, he's pretty bad. All I have is a broken leg."

Shifting to kneel over Gage, Bellingham quickly took down his vitals, frowning at the readings. Brice stood at the entrance, calmly relaying the information over the biophone.

They worked quickly setting up an iv and then went about loading Gage's unconscious form onto a stokes.

Roy sat and tried to not worry, help was finally here, but he didn't like the fact that his friend and partner hadn't regained consciousness. His silence was an omen to Roy that things might not work out this time. That's Gage's nine lives were up. When they took him away, Roy tried to suppress the feeling that it would be the last time he would see him alive.

Bellingham looked around the small area. His eyes rested briefly on a section a few yards to his left. The feet of the man that Gage and DeSoto had been sent down to rescue were the only things visible. He'd have to send someone in to remove the body after they got DeSoto out.

As they strapped him into a stokes, Roy made small talk with Marco and Chet, trying to shake his fear and depression. Looking around, he could see the worry etched in their faces. They knew what death looked like. They had seen it over and over again and Gage had looked like he was standing on death's door, waiting for it to open. Chet tried to lighten things up as they carried Roy to a waiting ambulance.

"He's gonna' be okay ya' know."

"Yeah...I know."

"No really Roy, he's been hurt worse than this. He'll be okay, you'll see."

"I hope so Chet."

Chet grinned, trying to hide his own doubts. "He has a date with that new nurse. You know, the blonde with the really big...brains."

Roy smiled as Marco shook his head and grinned at Chet's description of Gage's newest conquest. "Yeah Roy. She's 'really' smart. Johnny wouldn't miss going out with this one for anything."

****************************************************


The trip to Rampart seemed to take forever. Bellingham kept up a running conversation the entire way, trying to get Roy's mind off of his own pain, but mostly they tried to steer their talk away from Gage. They both knew that it would be close. Neither man wanted to admit it though and avoidance was the best trick. If they didn't talk about it, then it
wouldn't happen.

In a strange way, Roy felt a bit relieved that Brice was the one taking the ride in with Gage. He may have been a pain in the ass, but he was a damned fine paramedic who would do everything humanly possible to make sure that Gage wouldn't die. If anyone knew the tricks to keep him alive, Brice would probably know it.

****************************************************


Roy's head jerked up as he heard the door to the treatment room open. Dixie walked up to him and placed as hand on his shoulder.

"How are you doing?"

He gestured down at his newly cast leg.

"I'm okay, they're just waiting for it to set a little before they move me up to my room. Joanne should be here soon. She had to drop the kids off with one of the neighbors."

Dixie nodded absently. Her silence was driving him crazy. He knew Gage wasn't dead. They would have sent Brackett or Cap in to tell him that, but for Dixie to be acting like this, it meant it wasn't good either.

"Dixie...how bad is he?"

She shook her head. "They're not sure. He's in surgery now. Kel suspects some internal bleeding, but from where, they weren't able to really pin point it. The only definite thing they found was a few broken ribs and a slight shoulder separation."

Roy could understand that. When the small cavern they were in collapsed, all sorts of rock and debris fell on top of them. The hapless worker that they had been sent to rescue had been buried. As soon as Dixie mentioned the broken ribs, he knew that they could be the cause of Gage's internal bleeding.

Dixie gave his shoulder another small pat. "Well, I have to go. I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay. As soon as I see Joanne, I'll send her in."

He gave her a small smile. "Thanks Dixie."

He watched her leave, then rested his head back on the table. Staring at the ceiling, he hoped that Joanne would get there soon. As long as she was with him, he'd be okay. She'd reassure him, make him believe that Gage wasn't going to die.

****************************************************


Joanne smoothed the sheet down on the bed and smiled at Roy. Leaning down she placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"There. Do you feel better?"

Roy shifted slightly and smiled. "Yeah, I do. Thanks."

He was now in his room, his cast leg was propped up on a pillow. He had been lucky. It was a clean break and other than a few cuts and bruises he would be up and back at work in less than two months.

He bit his lip, trying to keep the fear that niggled at him from becoming overwhelming. It had been too long. His leg had been cast and he was placed in his room and still no one had come with any word on Gag's condition. Dixie's visit in the treatment room had been the last time he had been given an update.

"Honey."

He looked up to see Joanne giving him a reassuring smile.

"Johnny'll be fine. If something serious was wrong, you know that Hank would have come and told you."

"Yeah...you're right."

"I know I am."

She sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed at her touch. He loved it when she did that.

The door opened and a tired looking Kelly Brackett walked into the room. Joanne's hand dropped to her side and Roy sat up straighter. When Brackett gave them a weary smile, Roy's heart soared. Gage was going to live.

"Johnny's going to be okay. He's a little worse for wear, but we were able to sew him back together."

Roy smiled. "That's good news." He licked his lips. "What was wrong? Dixie said he had a couple of broken ribs and possibly some internal bleeding."

"And the ribs were the reason for the internal bleeding. A small laceration of the liver, but it was enough to cause some major problems. His shoulder separation was only a partial one and didn't require surgery. All in all, I'd say Johnny was a very lucky man. Again."

All three of them smiled. No statement was truer than that one. Gage managed to get into scrapes and predicaments that left most people dead.

Brackett looked at his watch. "Well, I have to go. I have an overdue date with dinner."

He left the room and Roy leaned back into the bed, letting out a loud sigh. He looked at his wife, knowing that she was feeling the very same thing. Relief. Joy.

"I really thought he wasn't going to make it this time. He was shocky...couldn't breath...it was bad Jo, really bad."

Joanne took one of his hands in hers, squeezing it tightly. She was always amazed that her husband never thought about his own injuries when someone else was hurting.

"Well, he made it. You both did."

He squeezed her hand back.

"You're right. We both did."