STARTING TO LIVE AGAIN - continued by Mary Ann (Formerly titled "Hannah's Story") The crew had just sat down to lunch when the alarm sounded.  "Never fails."  Johnny muttered, pounding his fist lightly on the table, before joining the rest of the guys in pushing their chairs back, standing up, and rushing into the equipment bay. "Station 51, traffic accident, with injuries.  Southbound Ventura freeway, enter at Chalmers, Ventura freeway south, enter at Chalmers.  Time out 13:22." Mike braked the engine to a stop, and Hank swung down, approaching the CHP officer that was directing traffic.  "What have you got, Hanna?" "Pretty messy one.  One DOA already.  Ed's holding pressure on a head wound over there, and we haven't even been able to check on the people in that car, doors are jammed."  She pointed to each location as she explained it to Hank.  "You got a gas leak under that car." "Okay, Hanna, we'll take care of it."  Hank returned to deploy his men.  "Marco, grab the reel line, you got a gas leak over there.  Chet get the battery cables disconnected, when you're done, give Johnny and Roy a hand." Once they had the patient Ed had helped stabilized, Roy rode in the ambulance with him, while Johnny stayed behind to patch up minor cuts and scrapes of the people that had been trapped in their car.  Hanna's partner, Ed, relieved Hanna from traffic duty, allowing her a few minutes alone with Johnny.  She helped him pack up his gear, and carry it to the squad.  Johnny put the gear away, and leaned back against the squad, his arms crossed over his chest.  "So how's your first day back going?"  She asked. "Except for that picture this morning, alright I guess." "Must have thrown you for a real loop getting that picture."  She stepped in next to him, leaning sideways against the squad. "Yeah, I really wasn't expecting that.  I guess after I saw him, he must have figured I'd be curious about my other brothers and sister." "Well, maybe someday you'll meet them in person."  She offered. He looked down frowning, digging at the gravel with the toe of his shoe.  "I don't think so, Hanna.  Then he'd have to admit to his wife he'd been married before.  He's let it go on this long, I don't think he's got it in him." "You never know, stranger things have happened." "Yeah, I guess."  He frowned doubtfully, shook his head, and changed the subject.  "You still coming by in the morning?" "Sure, if you want me too. I can't stay long, I picked up an overtime shift tomorrow afternoon." "That's okay, I've got a mountain of chores I need to take care of.  Boy, did the work pile up while we were gone." "It tends to do that."  She laughed. "I guess."  He grinned at her. "I'd better let you go, don't want you to get in trouble."  She smiled at him shyly, looking around.  "Wish I could kiss you now."  She whispered. "I know, me too."  He agreed, taking her by the elbow, he squeezed it gently.  Looking around nervously, he helped her straighten up from leaning against the squad and whispered back to her.  "Tell you what, I'll kiss you double tomorrow morning to make up for it." "You got a deal."  She immediately agreed, and waving at him, walked back to her patrol car. Johnny watched her walk away, a faint lopsided grin on his face.  "Can't wait until tomorrow morning."  He told himself sighing happily, before pushing himself off the side of the squad. Going around to the driver's side, he got in and started to leave for the hospital to pick up Roy.                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The months following Hanna and Johnny's trip to Montana passed quickly as they explored their new relationship. It was about six months after they'd returned that Johnny greeted Roy enthusiastically, when Roy pushed open the door to the locker room."Good morning, Roy!" Roy immediately picked up on his mood.  "You're in an awfully good mood,  your camping trip to the lake go good?" "Yeah, it was incredible!"  Johnny answered, sitting in his locker. He pulled his feet up on the bench to put his socks and shoes on. "How was the fishing?" "Well, um, we actually didn't get around to that."  Johnny admitted nervously.  "We were, ah, kind of busy." "First time, since Kaycee?"  He guessed. "Yeah."  Johnny admitted. "Looks like you and Hanna are getting serious." "Yeah, I guess so, ever since we got back from Montana six months ago, we've been getting closer."  "So, I take it you told her?" "Yeah, I told her."  Johnny answered, standing up, pinning on his badge and nameplate. "And?"  Roy prompted. Johnny grinned at him.  "She feels the same way.  Man, I can't believe I'm going to say this again, but Roy, I'm in love." "I'm happy for you, Johnny, you deserve it." "Thanks pal." Marco popped his head in the locker room.  "Hey, Johnny, you got some visitors in the kitchen." Johnny shot Roy a puzzled look.  "Visitors?  Who'd be coming here to visit me?" "Only one way to find out."  Roy grinned at him, pointing at the door. "Yeah, okay, I'm going."  Johnny walked to the kitchen, tucking his uniform shirt in his pants.  He looked up as he entered the room and stopped in his tracks, a startled expression on his face. "Hello John." "Oh, yeah, hi."  He stuttered out. "I'm sure you're surprised to see us here."  Johnny walked over to the table and sat down.  "Yeah, very surprised." "I think you recognize everybody, and know their names already, except maybe for my wife, Mary."  Rick introduced. "It's nice to finally meet you, John."  She smiled warmly at him. "Johnny, I go by Johnny now."  He corrected. "Sorry, Johnny."  She apologized. "It's okay, I guess this is going to come out sounding rude, but what are you doing here?" Rick sighed.  "Ever since you came to see me, I've been wrestling with my conscience about telling Mary about your mom, your sister and you.  Last month my company announced they were transferring me to LA.  While we were packing up, Mary discovered the photograph missing.  When she asked me about it, I finally confessed everything to her." "I was shocked to find out Rick had hidden so many things from me, but after hearing his story, especially that you were all alone since losing your mom and Alia and living here in LA.  I knew just as soon as we got to here, we had to meet with you and give you the chance to be part of the family if you want it."  Mary offered, still smiling warmly at Johnny. "What about your parents?"  He asked his dad. "I don't give a damn what they have to say about it anymore.  I should have never let them talk me into hiding everything from Mary in the first place.  They had me so turned around, that I believed that if I ever told Mary about you, she'd take the kids and leave me." "I can see how you'd be threatened by that, I know what it's like to be alone with no family."  Johnny smiled sadly at him. "Well you have a family now, if you want."  Mary offered again. Johnny thought about it. Looking over at his brothers and sister, he smiled shyly at his newfound stepmother.  "Yeah, I think I'd like that.  Since I found out I have brothers and a sister, it's really bothered me that I'd never get a chance to know them." "Good, I'm glad to have inherited another wonderful son."  She returned his smile with a friendly one of her own, laying her hand on his arm and squeezing. Hank walked in the kitchen intending to corral his wayward paramedic for roll call.  "Oh, hello there, I didn't realize you had company Johnny." "You need me for roll call, right?"  Johnny pushed his chair back, and stood up. "We can leave, if we're in the way, we didn't know how else to get in touch with him."  Rick extended his hand to Hank.  "I'm Rick Gage, my wife Mary, and John's. . . Johnny's brothers Josh and Chad, and his sister Amanda." Hank's expression was one of disbelief as he looked back and forth between Johnny and Rick.  He recovered quickly and smiled, shaking Rick's hand.  "Captain Hank Stanley.  It's nice to meet you all.  Johnny, go ahead and visit, nothing out of the ordinary today.  Just get to the dorms when you have a chance." "Thanks Cap, I will."  Johnny promised, sitting back down again. "We're just in town for this week, househunting, and I've got some job interviews.  We'll be moving here permanently by the end of next month."  Mary explained. "What do you do?"  Johnny asked, already beginning to like his new stepmom. "I'm a registered nurse." "Do you have an interview at Rampart General?"  He asked hopefully. "Yes, on Thursday.  I've got a meeting with a Dr. Brackett, and a Nurse. . . I can't think of her name off the top of my head right now."  Mary frowned. "Dixie McCall?"  Johnny supplied. "That's it, Dixie McCall.  You know them?" "Yeah, our paramedic unit is based out of there.  If you work there, we'll probably run into each other a lot." "Well then, I hope they offer me a job."  Mary smiled at her stepson, squeezing his arm again. "We'd better get going, we still need to check into the hotel."  Rick reminded his wife. Johnny spoke up.  "I'd consider it my pleasure to have you all stay at my place with me while you're here this week." "Are you sure, we don't want to put you out?"  Mary asked. "With the way my schedule is this week, I'm only going to be home for three days anywise, you won't be in the way."  He explained.  "I've got a small ranch, and a couple of horses.  Plenty of room for everybody." "Well, it would give the kids something to do, I was worried about how they were going to entertain themselves this week, Rick and I are going to be pretty busy.  What do you think?"  She asked her husband. "As long as Johnny's sure we're not inconveniencing him, it's okay with me."  Rick looked at Johnny. "I told you it's fine.  Just give me a minute to grab my house keys from my locker and I'll give you directions to the ranch."  He walked out of the kitchen, almost running over the rest of his crewmates, who were unsuccessfully trying to look busy.  He grinned at them.  " Alright, just let me grab my keys, and I'll introduce you to them."  He walked away, chuckling.  Returning to the kitchen, the rest of the men followed him in.  "Meet my family, Rick and Mary Gage, and my brothers Josh and Chad, and my sister Amanda.  These are the rest of the guys I work with.  You've already met our captain,  and this is Marco Lopez, Chet Kelly, Mike Stoker, and my partner Roy DeSoto."  He pointed out everybody as he introduced them.  After recovering from their initial shock, Johnny's shiftmates greeted the Gages warmly and chatted with Mary as Johnny gave his dad the house key and wrote down directions to the ranch.  Mike walked over to the younger Gages.  "Wanna see the engine?" "Sure."  Josh agreed. "I was hoping we'd get the chance."   Chad added. "Can I come too?"  Amanda asked shyly. "Sure, come on, I'll give you the tour."  Mike herded the kids out into the equipment bay. When the kids had finished the tour of the firehouse.  Rick and Mary got up from the table.  "Johnny, I think we'd better get going, we don't want to wear out our welcome."  Mary said, pulling Johnny into a friendly hug.  "I'm so happy that I finally got a chance to meet you.  I hope we can at least be friends." "I'd like that Mary."  Johnny agreed sincerely. "John. . . Johnny, we'll see you tomorrow morning."  Rick extended his hand to his son. "Sure, I should be there by nine o'clock, but if we get a last minute run, I might be late.  Just do me a favor, and excuse any mess you might find.  I was kind of running late this morning." "Don't worry about it, Johnny.  You weren't expecting company, and don't rush home on our account, we'll be fine."  Mary told him. "Okay see you later."  He waved to his brothers and sister.  "Bye Josh, Chad, Amanda.  I can't wait to spend some time getting to know you. "Bye Johnny."  Josh waved back. "See you."  Chad called to him. Amanda approached Johnny shyly, tapping him on the arm.  "Johnny, I'm glad I have a big brother that has such a cool job."  She smiled at him. "And I'm glad I got a younger sister that looks up to me.  I'll see you tomorrow."  He tousled her hair, walking his new family out to their car.                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the Gage family left, Johnny picked up the phone and dialed Hanna's number.  "Hi there." "Hey, Johnny, I wasn't expecting to hear from you today.  I thought we were meeting at your place tomorrow morning." "Slight change of plans.  Can you meet me here at the station in the morning?" "I guess so, why?" "I got a surprise for you."  He said mysteriously. "A surprise huh?  You gonna give me a hint?" "Yeah. Okay -- it's a surprise!"  He laughed at his own joke. "I can see I'm not going to get any useful information out of you."  She joined in laughing. "Alright, I can never say no to you.  I'll give you a hint. It's not a what, it's a who." "Oh, thanks a lot, that really satisfied my curiosity."  "Hey, I said I'd give you a hint, I didn't say it'd be a good hint!"  He teased. "You got me there."  She admitted. "You'll find out in the morning, it's less than 24 hours away." "Yeah, I guess.  I'll see you then." "Okay."  Johnny looked around to make sure he was alone, then he lowered his voice to a whisper.  "I love you Hanna." "I love you too, Johnny. Bye." "Bye Hanna."  He hung up the phone and strolled through the station, whistling a tuneless song, heading to the dorm to do his assigned chores.                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later that afternoon, Johnny poured himself a cup of coffee at the nurses' station while he waited for Roy to finish up in treatment room 4 with the motorcycle accident victim they'd just brought in.  "Hey Dix."  He smiled seeing Dixie returning to the nurses' station. "Hey, yourself."  She answered, smiling back at him.  She sat down on the stool behind the desk. "Dix there's this nasty rumor flying around." "Oh yeah, what's that?"  She asked innocently. "They're saying that Nurse McCall is sporting a huge rock on her finger and our very own Dr. Brackett put it there."  He grinned at her. "How do these rumors get started."  She teased, holding her hand out for him. He whistled.  "Well they were right about it being a rock.  That's some ring you got there.  Congratulations."  He reached over and gave her a friendly hug. "What's this, the last time I checked, you were still seeing Hanna."  Roy teased, walking up to the nurses' station and setting the drug box down on the counter.  "Hi Dix." "Just congratulating the bride to be."  Johnny smiled at his partner, holding Dixie's hand out for him to see the ring. "So the rumors are true."  Roy nodded, smiling, and looked at her ring.  "Congratulations, Dix."  He looked over at Johnny.  "You tell her your big news of the day?" "Not yet."  Johnny shook his head no. "Don't keep me in suspense, what's your big news?" "Well, I didn't want to say anything, because it might prejudice your decision.  You know that new nurse you've got an interview with on Thursday morning with Dr. Brackett?" "Don't tell me, you're dumping Hanna, to go back to chasing my nurses again?"  Dix interrupted, teasing. Roy smirked, and Johnny chuckled.  "No.  That nurse you're interviewing is my stepmother." "What?  I thought you didn't have any family?"  Dixie asked, confused. "It's a long story, but what it boils down to is, my dad remarried, and his work's transferring him here from Montana.  So Mary's looking for a job down here."  Johnny explained. "Well, confidentially, I've already seen transcripts of her work record, and she's a top notch emergency room nurse. She was already at the top of my list, anywise."  Dixie confided. "Really?"  Johnny asked. "Yeah, really."  Dixie smiled at him.  "Unless, Kel finds a reason not to hire her, and I can promise you, I'll make sure he doesn't.  Looks like you'll be working with your stepmother soon.  Just don't say anything until after we offer her the job." "I won't, you have my word on it." "Thanks.  You guys need supplies?" "Yeah."  Roy flipped open the drug box.  "You two set a date yet?" "Not yet, but you two will be the first to know."  Dixie smiled at them.                                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning, Hanna arrived at the station, a large bakery box in her hands.  "Hi guys, I brought breakfast."  She announced, setting the box on the table. A-shift's crew dug into the box, and began squabbling over the donuts there.  Johnny pulled a large filled one out of Chet's hand, quickly taking a bite.  He grinned at Chet's look of dismay at losing his donut.  "Leave it to a cop to know where the best donuts are.  These are fantastic!  Thanks for bringing them."  Johnny leaned in and kissed her lightly. "My pleasure."  Hanna smiled at him.  "Now, are you going to tell me what the surprise is?" "I see how you are, you think you offer me good food, and I'll spill my guts to you, huh?"  Johnny joked. "Is it working?"  She joked back.  He shook his head no.  "Oh, well, at least I gave it a try." He smiled at her, and finished wolfing down his donut.  After washing it down with his coffee, he kissed her again.  "Just as soon as B-shift gets her we head out." "And then we can go find out what my surprise is?"  She asked anxiously. He laughed, and giving her a gentle hug, he reminded her.  "Sorry sweetheart, I still gotta change my clothes after that." "And then we can go?" "Yeah, then we can go."  He chuckled, leading her to the couch to sit and wait for B-shift's arrival.                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An hour later she pulled her car into Johnny's driveway behind his Land Rover.  "Who's car is that?"  She asked him as they both got out of their cars.  "I told you they're a 'who', not a 'what'."  He took her hand in his leading her to the house. "Oh, so at least I know there's more than one." He laughed.  "And that's the last hint you're getting from me. Come on."  He held open the door for her, stepping in behind her.  Hanna looked in surprise at the family seated around Johnny's dining room table.  "Meet the Gages."  "Hello."  Mary waved at her from the table.  Johnny put his arm around Hanna's shoulder and guided her to the table.  "Everybody, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Hanna Grayling." "Hi Hanna."  They all greeted her. She looked at Johnny.  "Boy when you plan surprises, you really plan surprises."  She joked, giving him a warm hug.  "How did this all happen?" "Rick's been offered a job here in LA, and as soon as he told me about his son from a previous marriage living here, we decided to offer him the chance to be part of the family."  Mary explained. "You want some coffee?"  Johnny asked Hanna, heading into the kitchen. "Yeah, sure."  She agreed. "We have plenty of breakfast if you want some?"  Mary offered her, patting the chair next to her. Hanna smiled at her and sat down.  "No thanks, I brought the guys donuts this morning.  Since I knew what animals they'd be as soon as I set the box in front of them, I snuck one in the car on the way to the station." Mary laughed.  "Why am I not surprised to hear that?"  She asked in a teasing voice looking at Rick. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  Rick grinned back at his wife. "So I take it, the legendary Gage appetite runs in the family?"  Hanna asked, cocking an eyebrow at Rick. "Among other things."  He answered back, winking at her. Johnny picked that moment to return with Hanna's coffee, snagging a few pieces of bacon off the platter on the table.  Hanna and Mary burst out laughing as he stuffed one piece in his mouth.  "What?"  He asked around his food. "Just proving a point for us, that's all Johnny."  Mary grinned at him. Mary and Hanna cleared off the table, and went in the kitchen to wash dishes.  The kids, having gotten Johnny's permission, headed outside to visit the horses in the barn.  Rick sat back and looked at Johnny.  "I like her." "I do too, dad." "You been seeing each other long?" "We've been friends for a long time, Hanna was my best friend Tony's little sister growing up.  When I moved to LA, I lost touch with everybody in Montana.  We met up again about a year and a half ago.  We've been seeing each other ever since that trip we took to Montana."  Johnny explained. "Gonna marry her?"  Johnny frowned and looked down at the table.  "I don't know dad.  We both lost our spouses within a couple months of each other.  Eric died in a military training exercise, and I told you about Kaycee.  We're still working through that." "I really hope it works out for you two, seems like you're really made for each other." "Well for now, we're happy just dating."  Johnny looked up at him smiling again. "Is Hanna a firefighter too?" "No, she's a CHP officer." Rick grinned at Johnny, and teased gently.  "Looks like you got a thing for women in uniform." Johnny chuckled at his dad's teasing.  "Yeah, now that I think about it, I guess I do."                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Gage family completed their move to LA, and Johnny was enjoying the chance to get to know his brothers and sister.  He had also settled into a comfortable relationship with his dad, and Mary.  After accepting a job in Rampart's emergency department, Johnny saw a lot of his stepmom there, and they got along well.  Roy figured it was due to the fact that they shared the same easy-going personality that allowed them to make friends quickly.  Kel and Dixie had set a wedding date, that was fast approaching, but it was just an ordinary morning for the A-shift bunch, after roll call the men busied themselves attending to the various chores that always needed doing, laughing and joking around with each other.  The alarm interrupted them.  "Squad 51, gunshot victim, First Bank of California, 1127 Stepford, 1 1 2 7 Stepford, cross street Willis.  Time out 11:38." Johnny pushed the tool cart behind the squad and kicked the remaining tools lying on the floor towards the engine.  "Sorry guys."  He apologized for the mess he was leaving and hopped into the squad, putting his helmet on.  Roy slammed the hood of the squad shut, and got behind the wheel, starting up the squad and also putting his helmet on. "Squad 51, KMG-365."  Mike confirmed, tearing the call slip off and handing it to Roy.  Roy immediately handed it to Johnny and pulled the squad out into traffic, its lights and siren running. They pulled up to the chaotic scene. Jumping out of the squad, they immediately began pulling their equipment out.  "Johnny?"  A male voice behind him asked. Johnny turned around, coming face to face with Hanna's partner, Ed.  "Yeah?" Ed looked away.  "Oh, man, I wish they'd have sent a different squad." Johnny immediately dropped the equipment he was carrying.  "Hanna!"  He shouted, bolting into the bank.  Roy watched as Johnny took off running for the bank.  "Hanna?"  He asked Ed. "Afraid so, Roy."  Ed said sadly.  "She got hit in the chest while we were trying to stop some bank robbers.  You want me to call for another squad?" Roy gestured for Ed to pick up the equipment Johnny had dropped.  "If she's been shot in the chest, there may not be enough time to call another squad out here."  He sighed, knowing how painful this was for Johnny.  Also knowing that he would have to force Johnny to push aside his worry for Hanna and function as a paramedic right now to save her life. Johnny skidded to a stop when he recognized her, lying unconscious on the floor, blood covering the front of her uniform.  "Oh God, not again."  His mind screamed as he stared in horror at his injured girlfriend. Roy and Ed brushed past him, bringing the equipment to Hanna.  Roy set the drug box and biophone down. Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he turned back to Johnny.  He laid his hands on Johnny's shoulders.  "Junior, you need to get a grip on yourself.  She needs you now as a paramedic. When we get her to the hospital, then she'll need you as her boyfriend."  He said in a soothing voice, gently shaking his partner. When Roy's words had penetrated the despair he was feeling, Johnny instantly pushed his dark thoughts aside.  He slowly nodded to Roy and switched gears, going into full paramedic mode.  Functioning on autopilot, he knelt down next to Hanna.  "I'll get on the horn to Rampart."  He said, pulling the biophone to him with trembling hands and setting it up.  He fumbled for a moment, finally pulling his ever present green pen out of his uniform pocket, and began writing down the vitals that Roy was calling out to him.  "Rampart, ah, this is squad 51." "Go ahead 51."  Kel immediately answered. "Rampart, we have a 29 year old female, CHP officer, that's been shot in the chest.  Vitals are B.P. 80/50, pulse, 130 and thready, respirations are 24 and labored." "10-4, 51, apply pressure bandages, start IV Ringer's Lactate wide open, and transport immediately.  Is the ambulance on scene?" "10-4, Rampart,  IV Ringers coming up. The ambulance has just arrived.  Our ETA is approximately. . . "  Johnny looked at his watch calculating their distance from the hospital and the time needed to load Hanna on the stretcher.  "15 minutes." "10-4, 51.  We'll be set up in 2, bring her straight in." "10-4, Rampart."  Johnny dropped the biophone receiver back in the box and turned to Roy.  "You get that?"  He asked his partner. "Yeah, hand me an IV set-up."  He asked, holding his hand out to Johnny, who immediately handed him one.  "Johnny, I think you'd better ride in with her." "I don't know if I can."  "Johnny, I don't think you're in any condition to be driving the squad in, do you?"  He asked gently, glancing up at his partner briefly.  "Hand me the tape." Johnny handed him the requested item.  "Yeah, I guess you're right."  He sighed, then stood up to assist the ambulance attendants with loading Hanna on the stretcher.                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fifteen minutes after Johnny had ridden in with Hanna to the emergency room, Roy found him perched on the arm of the couch in the doctor's lounge, staring out the window.  "They're rushing her upstairs to surgery now."  When Johnny didn't answer, Roy walked over to him and laid his hand on his shoulder.  "Johnny did you hear me?"  He asked softly. "I heard you." "Are you okay?"  Roy asked concerned. "I'm hanging in there I guess.  Roy, do you think I have a black cloud hanging over my head?" "What makes you say that?"  Johnny turned to look at him.  "Because every woman I've ever loved has died on me.  First my sister, then my mom, Kaycee, and now. . . " "She's not going to die.  Dr. Brackett's doing the surgery on her, personally." "I know he's the best, but what if she doesn't make it?" "Johnny, Hanna's not going to die just because you're in love with her." "I can't do this again, Roy.  I can't have my heart torn out again." "I know, just think positive, she's going to make it."  Roy squeezed his shoulder.  "I'd better call the station, and see if Cap can get replacements for us for the rest of the shift."  "Yeah, okay."  Johnny replied, distractedly. On his way across the room to the phone, Roy thought to himself.  "Come on God, I think maybe you owe him one by now." While Roy was on the phone, Mary came in.  She sat down next to Johnny on the couch, taking his hand in hers she looked up at her stepson.  "I just heard." "They're taking her to surgery now."  Johnny squeezed her hand. "You want me to see if I can find anything out for you?" "Would you mind?" "No, of course not.  I'll be back as soon as I can."  She squeezed his hand back, and standing up, she kissed his cheek before leaving.                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The sun was low in the afternoon sky when Kel finally came in the doctor's lounge, still wearing his sweat-soaked scrubs.  "How is she?"  Johnny immediately asked. Kel smiled broadly at him.  "She's gonna be fine.  She'll need respiratory therapy for a while, but a few weeks in here and she'll be as good as new." "Really?"  Johnny asked in astonishment. All afternoon he had been preparing himself for the worst, and Kel's news took him by surprise. "Really. Have I ever lied to you, Johnny?" "So, she's going to be okay?" "Yes, she's going to be just fine."  "Can I see her?" "She's in recovery now, I'll have Mary come down and get you as soon as she's moved to her regular room."  Kel walked back to the door.  "Thanks doc." "You're welcome, Johnny."  Johnny got up from the couch and headed for the door.  "Where are you going, Johnny?"  Roy asked. "I got an errand to run.  I'll be back before Hanna gets out of recovery."  Johnny called back over his shoulder to him.                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hanna opened her eyes slowly when she felt a gentle kiss brush her cheek.  "Johnny?" "Yeah, it's me."  He sat down on the side of her bed, taking her hand in his. "Are you okay?"  She asked softly. "Don't you think I should be asking you that?"  He smiled at her. She looked away.  "I didn't think I was going to make it.  All I kept thinking about was how much pain I was going to put you through again." "But you didn't."  He laid his hand on her cheek and gently guided her to look at him again.   "I had a lot of time to think this afternoon while you were in surgery, about us." "What were you thinking, that'd it'd have been better if we had just stayed friends?"  She asked. "No, about how much I wanted to get the chance to ask you to be my wife."  He answered. Hanna was stunned, she had thought that he was about to break off their relationship, she hadn't expected a proposal.  "You want me to be your wife?'  He smiled at her.  "I love you, Hanna, will you marry me?" She looked deep in his eyes, smiling back at him, already knowing what her answer would be.  "Yes, Johnny, I'll marry you."  He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small ring box.  Taking the ring out he slid it on her finger, leaned in and kissed her tenderly.                                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Johnny arrived in Hanna's room while Kel and Dixie were there doing one last checkup on Hanna.  "Hey, how's she doing?"  He asked walking straight to Hanna's bedside, and leaning in to kiss her.  "Morning, sweetheart." She wrinkled her nose at him.  "I see you had another last minute run."  "Yeah, besides the fact that I'm two hours late, how'd you figure it out?" "You still smell like smoke."  She chuckled at him. "Yeah, I probably do.  I was so anxious to get here this morning, I just tossed off my turnouts and washed my face and hands in the sink, and threw on my street clothes."  He admitted.  "You're letting her come home today, right?"  He asked Kel. "Yup, we were just going over her discharge orders and she'll be ready to leave us."  Kel smiled at Johnny. "Perfect timing."  Hanna smiled at Dixie. "Don't you worry Hanna, I took care of it for you.  I told Kel that if he didn't release you by today, then we'd just have to postpone the wedding until he did."  She smiled back at Hanna. "I can't believe you two are working today when you're getting married tomorrow."  Johnny said, sitting down on the edge of Hanna's bed. "What'd you expect us to do, stay home and get more nervous?  It's better this way."  Kel grinned and wrapped his arm around Dixie's waist. "Besides that, we wanted one extra day in Hawaii."  She looked up at Kel smiling. "Hawaii, huh?  Well, enjoy yourselves."  Hanna sat up next to Johnny.  "You hear that honey, Dr. Brackett's taking Dixie to Hawaii."  She hinted. Johnny grinned at her.  "If I earned a doctor's salary, I'd take you to Hawaii too.  But on my fireman's pay?  I think we'll have to stick to our original plan." "What's that?"  Dixie asked. "We're going camping in Yosemite." "That could still be a wonderful honeymoon. After all, it's not the scenery, it's the company."  Dixie gave Kel a squeeze around his waist. "Yeah, I guess you're right."  Hanna agreed, wrapping her arms around Johnny's waist. Johnny knocked on Hanna's door and gave himself one last look over to check his own appearance.  Hanna opened the door and smiled, giving him an appreciative once over, taking in the charcoal colored suit and white shirt, and the black tie that finished his outfit.  "Johnny, you look great."  She complimented, stepping aside to allow him in. He grinned and returned the once over, looking over her spaghetti strapped sundress.  "And you're a knockout."  He returned the compliment, entering the apartment, and leaning in to give her a gentle kiss. "You ready to go?" "Almost, just have to get my shoes on.  What time are we supposed to be there?"  She asked sitting down on the couch and putting her sandals on. He looked at his watch   "In about a half hour."  She pushed herself up off the couch.  "Well, then we'd better go." "You sure you're going to be alright today?"  He asked, watching her transfer some things from one purse to another on the kitchen table. "I'll be fine."  She smiled at him.  "Just because I got out of the hospital yesterday is no reason for me to stay home and miss Dixie and Dr. Brackett's wedding.  Besides, I'm sure if I run into any problems, you and Roy will be keeping a close eye on me." Johnny grinned at her.  "Well, I know that I'll be keeping a close eye on you, but I sure hope that Roy's not keeping that close of an eye on my fiancée." "Don't you think Joanne would have something to say about it if he did?"  She joked back.  "Come on, let's go."                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Johnny shut the Land Rover off as he parked it in back of the small church.  "Don't go anywhere."  He said quickly, jumping out and coming around to Hanna's side, to properly open her door for her. "Jeez, Johnny, if I knew all I had to do to get you to act like a gentleman was get you in a suit, I'd have done it a long time ago."  She teased, stepping out and pointed across the parking lot.  "There's your Dad and Mary."  Johnny laid his hand on the middle of her back and led her over to greet them. "Dad, Mary.  Good to see you."  Johnny shook hands with his dad, and laid a friendly kiss on Mary's cheek. "It's good to see you too.  Especially you Hanna. I'm really glad to see you home from the hospital."  Mary hugged Hanna gently. "It feels wonderful to be out of there."  Hanna agreed. "Now, don't overdo it today, okay?"  Rick hugged his future daughter in law and kissed her cheek. "You know I won't, not with Johnny keeping an eye on me all night."  Hanna smiled back at them. "Why don't we head inside and let Hanna have a chance to sit down?"  Johnny suggested. "See what I mean?"  Hanna laughed and let Johnny lead her inside.  They found a seat together and Johnny waved to Roy and Joanne, across the aisle from them.  When Kel led in an elderly couple to sit in the front, Mary leaned in to Johnny's ear.  "That's Dixie's mom and dad.  She hasn't seen them in over 20 years." "She must be so happy that they're here for her wedding."  Johnny whispered back. "Yeah, they're staying at Dixie and Kel's place while they go to Hawaii and they're not heading home until two weeks after Dixie and Kel get back."  Mary quickly quieted down, when the church began to fill with music, and Kel took his place at the front with the minister. To everyone there, Dixie looked lovely as she made her entrance.  None more so than to Kel, who felt his eyes mist up as he watched her.  The realization of the day he had hoped for, for seven years, overcoming him.  When it was time to exchange the rings, he smiled at Dixie, and angled her ring slightly before slipping it on her finger, allowing her to read the inscription inside.  "MS & KB ALWAYS" Dixie held the tears of joy back until this moment sent her over the edge.  "Oh, Kel."  She whispered reaching up to pull him into a kiss.  "Wait a minute."  The minister said in a teasing voice.  "We haven't gotten to that part yet." Dixie turned to him laughing.  "Well, then, get to it."  The minister and all the people assembled chuckled.  "Alright, by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss your bride." Kel and Dixie both grinned at him before turning to each other.  Kel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.  "I love you,"  he whispered.  "Whether you're Dixie McCall, or Monica Shepfield.  Either way, you own my heart now." "Kel, you've owned my heart already for a long time now."  She smiled at him as he slowly lowered his head to hers sealing their marriage with a beautiful kiss. When the kiss ended, Kel and Dixie turned to face all their family and friends assembled there, as the minister announced.  "It's my great pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, Dr. and Mrs. Kelly Brackett."  The church erupted into applause and well wishes for the newly married couple.                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Well, well, well.  You're looking tanned and relaxed."  Johnny greeted Dixie at the nurses' station, her first shift back from her honeymoon. "Thank you Johnny."  She smiled at him. "I take it you enjoyed your honeymoon?"  He asked pouring himself a cup of coffee. "We absolutely loved it there.  We both had a hard time getting on the plane to come home." "Well, we're glad you did."  Johnny grinned at her. "Where's your other half?"  She asked grinning back at him. "Oh, he'll be here soon.  I rode in with our patient.  Roy still had some minor cuts and scrapes to take care of when I left."  He explained gulping the rest of his coffee down.  "Would you mind telling him to meet me in the cafeteria?  I want to grab a bite to eat.  We missed dinner last night, and we've had back to back runs all night." "I'll tell him for you."  Dixie agreed. "Thanks."  He waved to her as he headed down the hall. Dixie worked on the nurses' schedule, amazed at the fact she was only gone two weeks, and the schedule was in total chaos.  She was startled out of her work by a familiar voice.  "So how's married life?" She looked up smiling.  "It's wonderful Roy, I highly recommend it." "Hey, you're preaching to the choir here."  Roy teased. "Yeah, I guess I am."  She laughed.  "You're partner said to tell you he's in the cafeteria." "Somehow, I knew he'd be there.  We seem to be having one hell of a shift."  Roy set the trauma box up on the counter.  "I need to restock some supplies." "Help yourself."  Dixie motioned behind her.  "I'm trying to get this nurses' schedule back into shape." "See what happens, you and Dr. Brackett leave here for two weeks and everything falls apart."  Roy joked pulling out the needed supplies.  He wrote them down on the requisition form and set it down next to her nurses' schedule.  "Just need your signature and I'll get out of your hair for a while.  Although with the way things are going today, you'll probably see us again before we finish out our shift." At the same time, one of Dixie's student nurses, stepped up to the desk.  "Miss McCall?" "Yes, Shari?"  She asked looking up from the requisition form in front of her. "There's a gentleman in treatment 3.  He walked in complaining of chest pains, and he's insisting on having you come see him, personally."  Shari explained. "Must be one of our regular customers."  Dixie smiled at Roy and set down the form on the counter, forgetting to sign it.  "See you later Roy." "Yeah, okay, see you."  Roy agreed, looking up from the trauma box, where he was putting away the supplies he'd just got.  When the trauma box was in order, he picked up the requisition form to pull his copy off.  "Aww, man."  He sighed when he noticed that Dixie forgot to sign it.  "I hope she doesn't mind me popping in on her when she's with a patient, but I want to catch a bite to eat too, before we get called out again."  He thought to himself as he made his way to treatment 3.  He pushed the door open.  "Dix, you forgot to sign. . . "  He stopped in his tracks when he looked up from the form and saw in front of him, Dixie bound hand and foot on the treatment table.  "What the hell? . . ."  He said before feeling something slam into his forehead, knocking him to his knees. "Roy, Gage's honeymoon . . ."  Dixie rushed out, before her mouth was covered with a gag. Roy tried to get to his feet, when a vicious kick to his stomach, dropped him to the floor gasping for breath.  He lay there writhing as Dixie was carried out.  His mind desperately ordered his body to get off the floor to help Dixie, but his body, still struggling to get air in, refused to cooperate.   After a long moment, he was finally able to get to his knees, and using the treatment table for support, he stood up.  Unable to see clearly through the blood that poured into his eyes from the wound to his forehead, he stumbled around the room looking for the door by touch.  Finding it, he flung it open and staggered into the hall, bumping solidly into Kel.  "Roy, what the hell happened?"  Kel asked, catching Roy before he fell.  "Dixie."  Roy gasped.  "Dixie?  What happened, where's Dixie?"  Kel asked feeling panic rising. "Dixie's in trouble."  Roy swiped at the blood trying to clear his vision. "Joe!"  Kel called down the hall to his friend.  "Give me a hand here with Roy."  Joe rushed over and helped Kel lead Roy over to a spare gurney, helping him up on it.  "I'm calling security."  He rushed off to the nurses' station, leaving Roy in Joe's care. Joe quickly pushed Roy into treatment room 1 and immediately began trying to stop the flow of blood coming from his forehead.  "Roy, hold this for me."  Joe instructed, guiding Roy's hand to his forehead to hold the gauze pads in place, while he cleared the blood off Roy's face. "Dixie's in trouble."  Roy said feeling his mind tumbling.  He tried to keep his wits about him, but the pounding in his head prevented him from doing more than repeat.  "Dixie's in trouble." "We know Roy.  We're calling security now.  Just take it easy."  Joe soothed, as he continued cleaning Roy's face. Kel entered the treatment room.  "Has he said what happened yet?"  "No, he's taken a pretty good blow to the head.  He's pretty disoriented."  Joe shook his head and turned to the nurse.  "Get X-ray down here. I want a full skull series, STAT."  The nurse nodded at turned away to the phone. Kel walked into Roy's line of vision.  "Roy, can you tell me what happened?"  Roy reached out and grabbed Kel's sleeve.  "Dixie's in trouble. . . Gage. . . " "Gage, you mean your partner?"  Kel asked, confused.  Roy nodded his head.  "Okay, Roy, I'll get your partner for you."  He squeezed Roy's hand as he released his arm from Roy's grip.  He threw open the door to the hall and spotted Johnny at the far end of the hall returning from the cafeteria, unaware as to the drama taking place.  "GAGE!"  He bellowed down the hall, surprising all the hospital staff in the hall, who stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him in astonishment.  "Get in here now!" Johnny looked up in surprise, at hearing his name called so loudly in the hospital corridor, and by Dr. Brackett of all people.  Although he didn't know the reason for his outburst, he figured it was something important and dashed down the hall to the doctor.  "What is it?"  "Roy's been hurt and Dixie's missing."  Kel quickly explained ushering Johnny into the treatment room.  "We think Roy walked in on whatever was happening and got walloped.  He's not making much sense right now, but we think he knows something about what happened to Dixie." "I'll see if I can make some sense of it."  Johnny approached Roy's side.  "Roy, you okay?" Roy grabbed Johnny's arm the same as he had done to Kel moments before.  "Dixie's in trouble." "I heard.  Do you know what happened?"  Johnny asked squeezing Roy's hand. "Gage's honeymoon."  Roy said mysteriously. "What's that supposed to mean?"  Kel asked looking at Johnny. "I don't know."  Johnny thought for a minute.  "Roy why are you telling me this?  Does it have something to do with Dixie?" Roy nodded.  "We're you talking about my honeymoon when this happened?"  He guessed. Roy shook his head no.  "Dixie said. . ." "Dixie said something about my honeymoon?"  Johnny tried again.  Roy nodded his head yes.  "Roy, does it have something to do with Dixie being missing?"  Roy nodded his head violently. Johnny shot Kel a puzzled look. Kel thought about it for a moment and looked at Roy.  "Roy, was Dixie giving you some kind of hint?"  Again Roy nodded his head violently, before gritting his teeth and moaning at the pain that thundered through his head. Johnny and Kel backed off, to allow Joe to treat Roy's injuries.  Obviously that was all the information they would get from Roy for a while until Joe was able to bring Roy's pain under control enough to question him further.  "I don't get it.  What would my honeymoon have to do with Dixie's disappearance?"  Johnny shook his head looking at Kel. "Where did you say you and Hanna were going again?"  Kel asked, pulling his face into a scowl as he concentrated on finding the solution. "Yosemite."  Johnny answered. "Yosemite."  Kel repeated.  "Why does that sound familiar.  When did Dixie say the last time she visited Yosemite was?"  He paled when the answer came to him.  "That son of a bitch is still alive.  I'll be damned."  Kel shot out of the room heading for the nurses' desk. "Who?"  Johnny asked following Kel out of the treatment room. "Dixie's first husband."  Kel explained as he picked up the phone and got the hospital operator on the line.  "Get me CHP headquarters."  He barked in the phone.  He laid the receiver on his shoulder as he waited, and finished his explanation to Johnny.  "He was supposed to have died in a car accident about 6 months ago.  Dixie was hiding from him.  He must have faked his death and followed Dixie's parents out here for our wedding." "How'd you get that from Yosemite?"  Johnny asked still confused. "He took Dixie to Yosemite for their honeymoon when they got married."  Kel answered, before pulling the phone back up.  "Yes, this is Dr. Kelly Brackett at Rampart General Hospital.  My wife's head nurse here and she's been kidnapped by her ex-husband."  He listened to the phone for a minute, before bellowing into the phone.  "Of course, I'm sure.  I've got one of my best paramedics, who walked in on it while it was happening, lying here with blood pouring out of his head, and she's gone."  He listened a few more seconds.  "Yeah, okay, send them right to the nurses' station in the emergency department."  Johnny waited for Kel to hang up the phone.  "They sending someone?" "Yeah, they have a unit in the area they're dispatching here right now."  "Let me use the phone and call the station. I'd better let them know what's going on, then I should be free to help you out." "What do you mean help out?"  Kel asked turning the phone to Johnny. "Do you know exactly where they camped in Yosemite?" "I think Dixie's mom had a few pictures in the family album from their campsite."  Kel answered.  "Why?" "Look, I've camped Yosemite many times.  If I see where they camped, I might be able to find the same spot in the park, or at least be able to figure out a general area to start looking in." "You sure?"  "It's worth a shot, don't you think?"  Johnny responded before picking up the phone and dialing the station's phone number.                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hanna walked into the hospital, looking at her watch.  She was glad that she made such good time on the way in for her scheduled 9 am check up with Dr. Early.  She looked up to the crowd gathered around the nurses' station, including her partner Ed, and her temporary replacement, Hugh Walters.  "What's going on?"  She asked approaching the fringes of the group gathered there. Johnny looked up from the map of Yosemite they were all studying.  "Hi Hanna, I didn't expect to see you here."  He kissed her cheek and led her aside. "I've got a check up with Dr. Early this morning. I told you about it, remember?" "Sorry, things have gotten kind of out of control here, I guess I forgot."  Johnny sighed looking down. "So what exactly is going on here?"  Hanna asked. "Dixie's been kidnapped and Roy's being admitted with a serious concussion, not to mention the 15 stitches in his head."  Johnny explained. "Kidnapped?  By who?"  Hanna asked shocked. "Apparently Dixie was married before and for whatever reasons, she divorced him and was hiding out from him for the last 20 years.  Her first husband, William, faked his death and followed Dixie's parents here, and now he's kidnapped her.  We think he's heading to Yosemite with her?" "What makes you say that?" "Dixie gave Roy a hint before he gagged her, and beat Roy up.  Told Roy 'Gage's honeymoon.'  You know we told her that we were planning on camping in Yosemite for our honeymoon." "Is there anything I can do to help?" "The police are handling it, and Dr. Brackett and I are going to be heading out in a little while to help out too." "I'm going with you."  Hanna automatically replied. "No, you're not."  Johnny argued with her. "Yes, I am. I've got jurisdiction up there. I can get you and Dr. Brackett into places you wouldn't be able to."  She said firmly. "Hanna, you just got out of the hospital a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe you'd better not."  He looked at her worriedly. "Johnny, I'm fine.  Look, my check up today was for Dr. Early to sign my return to work papers.  If he signs them, then will you stop worrying and let me go with you two?"  Hanna reasoned with him. He sighed.  "Okay, if Dr. Early clears you for active duty, then you can come along." "Good.  I'll be right back."  She walked away in search of Dr. Early.                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two hours later, Johnny pulled his Land Rover up into Kel's driveway.  He and Hanna stepped out and walked to the door.  Kel pulled the door open before they had the chance to ring the bell.  "Ready to go?"  He asked stepping out, a backpack in his arms. "Yeah, I guess so.  Did you get the pictures?"  Johnny replied taking the backpack from Kel and adding it to the rest of the camping equipment in the back of the Land Rover. "Yeah, I got them."  Kel pulled out the pictures and handed them to Johnny.  He studied them for a while.  "I can't be positive, but it looks like they were down by the stream in the box canyon."  Johnny handed the pictures to Hanna.  "It does have a familiar look to it."  She agreed. "So, I guess that's where we'll start."  Kel nodded to the couple. "Okay, hop in."  Johnny gestured towards the door and went around the other side, to the drivers' door. They were stopped at the ranger station at the entrance to the park.  "I'm sorry, we need to inspect your vehicle, we have a manhunt going on in the park right now."  The ranger apologized. "It's alright, it's my wife they're looking for."  Kel said stepping out of the Land Rover, Johnny and Hanna stepped out too. "Just need to ask you a few routine questions.  Any firearms?"  The ranger poked through their camping equipment. "No."  Johnny shook his head. "No."  Kel answered. "Yes."  Hanna answered, and both Kel and Johnny turned to look at her surprised. "Excuse me miss?"  The ranger asked backing away. "It's alright, I'm a CHP officer.  I'm going to reach in my pocket for my ID."  She did so slowly, and flashed him her badge. "Are you part of the manhunt?"  The ranger asked looking at her ID more closely. "Not officially."  Hanna admitted. "Do you have a portable CB radio?"  He asked her. "Yeah we do."  "They're on channel 12 if you find anything."  He told her.  "Thanks."  Hanna nodded to him and they all got back in the Land Rover to enter the park.                                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "This is as close as we can get by car.  We'll have to hike in the rest of the way."  Johnny said parking the Land Rover by the side of the road.  They all stepped out and pulled their backpacks out of the back, and strapped them on. "You got a first aid kit?"  Johnny asked Kel. "Better than that, I packed almost my full doctor's kit in my pack just in case."  Kel patted his backpack. "Good thinking."  He nodded to Kel. "You got the radio?"  Hanna asked Johnny. "Yeah."  He nodded looking at his watch, and then the sky.  "With the late start we're getting, it'll be close to dark before we get there." "Well then, let's get moving."  Kel said gesturing to him to take the lead. Johnny led them in the direction that he hoped would take them to the campsite Dixie and William used on their honeymoon.  With only taking a few rest stops along the way, it was twilight as they neared the area.  Johnny stopped abruptly, motioning for them to stop too.  He held his finger to his lips and listened intently.  He motioned for them to back track the way they came a little bit, before stopping to sit on a fallen log.  Hanna and Kel joined him.  "What is it?"  Hanna whispered to him. "There's someone in the clearing.  I don't know who yet, but I'm going to go back alone and find out."  Johnny began removing his shoes. "What are you doing?"  Kel asked. Johnny grinned at him.  "My grandfather taught me how to move silently through the woods.  Don't worry, he won't hear me.  You two stay here. I'll be back."  He slipped away into the forest, leaving Kel and Hanna sitting and waiting for him.  "Is he serious?"  Kel asked Hanna quietly. "Yeah, his grandfather was one of the Lakota elders on the rez he grew up on.  Taught Johnny lots of things about the woods.  If Johnny says he can move silently through the woods, I believe him."  She smiled at Kel. "I'll have to take your word for it."  He sighed and leaned back against a tree.  "This is such a nightmare, just coming back from our honeymoon and now this." "We'll find her."  She confidently told him, reaching over and squeezing his arm. "I just hope he doesn't do any of the things he did to her when they were married." "Pretty abusive?"  Hanna asked softly. "Yeah, you could say that."  He answered, nodding his head. Both jumped when they heard Johnny's voice behind them.  "It's them." "You're sure?"  Kel asked anxiously. "Yeah, I'm sure, I saw Dixie.  He's got her tied to a tree."  He replied sitting back down. "Now what?" Kel looked at Hanna. "Let's get a call out and find out how close the search party is."  She answered pulling the radio out of Johnny's pack. "Better take it back over there a few hundred yards."  Johnny gestured to her. "Yeah, I will."  Hanna walked away to use the radio. "How does she look?"  Kel asked Johnny. "She looks scared, but it doesn't look like he's done anything to her yet."  He answered pulling his shoes back on. Hanna returned to them.  "Search party's at the far side of the creek.  It'll be morning before they can get here."  She sat down. "I don't think we better wait.  What do you say Hanna, it's your call."  Johnny looked at her. "I say get us in closer, so we can keep an eye on him.  If things start getting out of control, we'll have to find a way to get Dixie out of there." Johnny nodded and thought things through for a minute.  "Okay, either one of you good at finding your way around the woods at night?" "Not really."  Hanna answered. "Camping isn't really my forte."  Kel added. "Okay, how's this for a plan.  If he starts making a move towards hurting Dixie, I'll get him to chase me off somehow and lead him away from the campsite.  You and Hanna head in and take care of Dixie.  I'll lose him in the woods and double back here."  Johnny offered. "Are you sure you can find your way back?"  Hanna asked him. "Yeah, I'm sure.  Besides, got any better ideas?"  He replied looking at her. "No, I guess we go with your plan then."  She answered.  Johnny quickly taught Kel and Hanna how to move quietly through the woods and they made their way closer to the edge of the clearing, keeping in the shadows.  They left their gear behind, except for the medical equipment they hoped wouldn't be necessary.  The evening passed into night, as they watched William start a campfire and cook his dinner.  Kel tensed up as William walked over to where Dixie sat tied to the tree.  He pulled out a long knife.  "You made me wait this long to find you, now you're going to have to wait until I'm good and ready to finish this game you started all those years ago."  He pulled the knife under her chin gently, wanting to save his fun for later.  Hanna laid a restraining hand on Kel's arm when she'd felt him tense up.  "I won't let him hurt her."  She whispered in his ear. After William finished his meal, he decided it was time to do what he brought her here for.  "Thought you could get away from me and marry some rich doctor, huh?"  He stepped menacingly towards her.  "I sure outsmarted you.  I bet nobody figured out that I didn't die in that car accident.  I just bided my time. I knew sooner or later, your mom and dad would lead me to you.  I didn't figure they'd stay away from you if they thought I was dead."  He pulled the knife out again, and held it against her neck.  "Well, I got the last laugh this time. . ." "Hello there."  Johnny said loudly from beside the tree, he stepped out from behind.  "Mind pointing me towards the road?  I seem to be a little lost."  William whirled around at the sound of Johnny's voice and charged him with the knife. "Jeez, mister, no need to be rude."  Johnny disappeared into the woods. Hanna and Kel listened as Johnny led him farther away, his voice growing fainter.  "What's your problem anyway?  I just asked for directions."  They sprang from their hiding place and ran to Dixie.  "You okay?"  Kel asked concerned as he pulled the gag down.  "Yeah, I'm alright, you'd better hurry, he'll be back any minute."  "Johnny's getting him turned around in the woods."  Hanna replied.  "He used to be a hunter.  He knows how to find his way around."  Dixie told them. "Aw, damn it Johnny, so much for your plan."  Hanna stood up, pulling her police revolver from her waistband.  "Get her untied and into the shadows, I'll be back.  If Johnny comes back, tell him to stay put."  She took off running in the direction she last heard Johnny's voice come from. Kel untied Dixie, and took her in his arms.  "You sure you're alright?"  He asked again, kissing her forehead. "Yeah, now that you're here.  I'll be fine."  She answered pulling him to her, and kissing him deeply. "We need to get you out of here."  He helped her stand and walked her towards the bushes they had hidden in.  Moments later, they heard movement coming back into the campsite.  Johnny emerged into the clearing.  "Over here."  Kel called to him. Johnny walked towards them.  "Got him good and turned around.  Where's Hanna?"  He asked when he discovered only Kel and Dixie waiting for him. "Johnny, William used to be a hunter, he knows his way around."  Dixie explained. "Hanna took off after you two."  Kel finally told him. "I'd better go find her."  Johnny turned back towards the way he had just come. "No, Hanna said for you to stay put."  Kel jumped up and grabbed Johnny's wrist. "But she's out there with him."  He protested. "She can take care of herself.   She is a CHP officer you know."  Johnny slowly nodded, and turned back to Dixie.  "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine now."  Dixie answered smiling at him.  "How'd you find us anyway?" "You're little clue to Roy."  Johnny answered returning her smile.  "Just followed the pictures your mom . . ." Kel and Dixie both looked at him in surprise, when he crumpled to a heap at their feet.  William stood behind him with a large tree branch in his hands.  "Damn nosy, son of a bitch, wasn't none of his business."  He growled out, and stepped menacingly towards them. Kel instinctively, pushed Dixie behind him and backed away.  "Listen, why don't we end it right now, before someone else gets hurt?"  He tried reasoning with the madman. "Oh, I'll end it alright, just the way I had planned, just have to get you out of the way."  He swung the branch at Kel, who quickly dodged it. "Freeze!"  Hanna shouted from across the clearing, her revolver trained on William.  "California Highway Patrol, drop your weapon." William turned to face her, surprise written on his face.  "You're a cop?"  He asked, taking in the blond woman in front of him. "You'd better believe it.  Now, I said drop your weapon."  She motioned with her gun. "You're serious."  He asked taking a step towards her. "As a heart attack, mister.  Drop your weapon."  "You won't kill me, won't be able to arrest a dead person."  He said confidently, taking another step towards her. "Who says I want to kill you?  I know a few places I could hit you and you'd wish I killed you instead."  She threatened.  "Now, like I keep telling you, drop your weapon.  This is your last warning." William thought over what she just told him, and considered being out in the middle of nowhere and wounded.  Finding that not an acceptable alternative, he dropped the tree branch. "Where's your knife?"  Hanna immediately asked. "What knife?"  He asked innocently. "Don't play games with me. I know you have a knife.  Drop it." "Okay."  He pulled the knife out of his waistband, and dropped it next to the branch. "Now step away from it."  He took a few steps to the side, and Hanna, keeping her gun still trained on him, motioned Kel over, handing him her handcuffs.  "Check for other weapons first."  She reminded him.  Kel helped her handcuff William, before rushing over to where Dixie was already starting to check over Johnny.  "He's alive?"  He asked retrieving his first aid kit from the overgrowth. "Yeah, strong pulse, but he's got one hell of a huge lump on the back of his head though."  Dixie told him. "Should I contact search and rescue?"  Hanna asked. "Yeah, you better.  He might have a serious head injury here."  Kel advised her gently. "Okay, I'll take care of it."   She replied giving Johnny a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back to where they stashed their backpacks to retrieve the radio.                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A week after saving Dixie from the woods, Hanna entered the hospital room, and walked up to the bed kissing Johnny on the cheek.  She turned to Roy and asked.  "Any change?" "Not yet."  Roy answered.  "How are you holding up?" "Okay, I guess.  Just waiting for sleeping beauty here to wake up."  She gently ran her hand through his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead. "We're all waiting for that."  Roy smiled at her.  "I'll be back later.  See you Johnny."  He squeezed his partner's hand and got up from the chair to allow Hanna to sit with Johnny. Hanna sat down in the chair Roy offered her.  "Thanks, I'll see you later."  She called after him as he left the hospital room.  She took Johnny's hand in hers.  "You know, I'd be really happy to see those deep brown eyes of yours again.  You better not be planning on keeping me in suspense much longer."  She squeezed his hand, as she spoke, and then settled back to spend another watchful couple of hours hoping Johnny would finally wake up.  The last week was rough on her, with Johnny remaining unconscious for so long.  She couldn't help but think about their own wedding that they were planning to take place in two more months.  She stared out the window at the scenery outside, wondering if their wedding would ever happen now, when she felt his hand twitch in hers.  For a second, she thought it was her own wishful thinking, until he did it again.  "Johnny, can you hear me?"  She asked, when his hand twitched a third time.  She stood up and pushed the nurses' call button. Minutes later, the room was full, as Dr. Brackett, Dixie, and Mary all rushed in to see what Johnny needed.  "What happened?"  Kel asked pulling his pen light out of his pocket. "His hand moved."  Hanna answered him, stepping back to allow the hospital staff more room around Johnny. "Johnny, can you hear me, it's Dr. Brackett."  He said loudly.  "If you can hear me, I want you to squeeze my hand."  After an anxious moment of waiting, Johnny squeezed his hand.  Kel grinned and looked up.  "Well, looks like his nap's almost over." "Can you open your eyes?"  Dixie asked Johnny. After a moment, Johnny's eyes fluttered open.  "Hey, Dix."  He said in a weak voice.  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief that his memory seemed to be intact. "How are you feeling?"  Kel asked him. "Like I've been asleep for a very long time." "Almost a week."  Mary told him. Johnny turned towards her.  "Hey Dix, who's the new nurse?" Relief turned to worry for Hanna when Johnny didn't recognize his own stepmother.  "Johnny, you don't know Mary?"  She asked stepping closer to the bed. Johnny shook his head no.  "I don't know you either, but I'd love the chance to get to know you."  He said in a flirting voice, flashing her a weak smile. Dixie took in Hanna's look of shock at Johnny's statement.  "Hanna, let's give Kel a chance to examine him.  We'll wait outside."  Dixie gently led Hanna out in the hall. "He didn't know me."  She said softly. "This sometimes happens with head injuries like his.  Give him some time.  He's been through a lot."  Dixie tried to sound more confident than she felt, knowing that most of the time, the memories lost were never recovered. "We're supposed to get married in a couple of months."  Stunned, Hanna leaned back against the wall. "What's everybody doing out here?"  Roy asked walking up to Dixie and Hanna. "He's awake."  Dixie told him.  "Kel's checking him over right now." Roy looked at the stunned look on Hanna's face.  "I thought that was supposed to be good news." Hanna looked at him, tears forming in her eyes.  "Roy, he's awake, but he didn't recognize me or Mary." Roy looked to Dixie for confirmation, when Dixie nodded slightly, Roy pulled Hanna into a hug.  "It'll be okay Hanna." "No, it won't."  She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks. "Roy, why don't you take Hanna to the lounge. I'll have Kel come and see you as soon as he's done with Johnny."  Dixie suggested. "Yeah, okay."  He agreed, and led Hanna down the hall to the lounge. They both waited in nervous silence, for news on Johnny.  Kel finally entered the room.  "Well?"  Roy immediately asked. He sat down in a chair across from them.  "Well the good news is, he's still our Johnny.  His memories of his childhood, and of his own personality remain intact." "And the bad news?"  Hanna asked, worried. "He's lost his memories of the last three years." "Three years?"  Roy repeated.  "You mean, he doesn't remember any of it?  Kaycee, his family, Hanna, nothing?" "I'm sorry.  He doesn't remember any of that." "So where do we go from here?"  Hanna asked Kel. "I wish I could tell you for certain.  The human brain is still a very mysterious organ.  We have no way to predict if or when he'll regain the memories he's lost." "Isn't there anything we can do to help him?"  Roy asked. "Exposing him to the people, places, and things he's done in the last three years, may help.  There have been cases of people suddenly regaining all their memories, but with such a large chunk missing, I'm afraid it's highly unlikely in his situation." "But not impossible."  Hanna stated. Kel grinned at her.  "Where John Gage is concerned, anything's possible."                                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roy drove Johnny home to his ranch the day he was released from the hospital.  Opening the door, he found the room full of people he didn't recognize.  He turned to Roy and whispered.  "I don't know these people." "Yes, you do, you just don't remember and so you're going to get to know them again."  He took Johnny around introducing him to everyone.  "Johnny, this is your dad, and your stepmom.  You probably remember seeing her at the hospital.  Mary works there now.  And here's your brothers Chad and Josh, and your sister Amanda." Johnny followed Roy around the room as he made the introductions.  "I'm sorry, I don't remember any of you."  He sighed dropping onto the couch.  Rick gestured to the children to go sit near Johnny, while the adults hung back.  "It's okay Johnny, you'll get to know us again."  Josh sat down next to him, Amanda sat on his other side, and Chad on the floor in front of Johnny.  "Johnny, I'm sorry you don't remember me."  Amanda said sadly. "He'll remember."  Chad told her confidently.  "You'll still be our brother, even though you don't remember us, won't you?"  She asked Johnny hopefully. Johnny smiled at her.  "Yes, I'll still be your brother.  I'll just have to get to know you again, that's all." "Good, I was afraid that you wouldn't want to know us, if you couldn't remember us."  She smiled back at him. Johnny pulled her into a hug.  "So, since I can't remember, tell me about yourselves again."  He encouraged his brothers and sister. "Okay, since I'm the oldest. . ."  Josh stopped and laughed.  "I mean the second oldest."  Johnny grinned at him, and he continued.  "I guess I'll start." "I thought it was supposed to be ladies first?"  Amanda interrupted. "Alright, go ahead, Amanda."  Josh nodded at her grinning. "Well, what do you want to know?"  She asked Johnny seriously. "How about you start with telling me how old you are?"  He suggested. "I'm almost 12 and I'm in the sixth grade.  You were helping me do a project for school about Lakota Indians for social studies.  Do you still remember about growing up on the reservation?" "Yes, I still remember, and I'll still help you if you want me to."  Johnny agreed. "Good, because the project's due next week.  Do you have to work this weekend?" "No, I won't be going back to work for a little while.  I have to take some tests to make sure I still know how to do my job first."  Johnny answered. She turned to her mom.  "Can you bring me over here on Saturday so Johnny can finish helping me?" "Ask Josh, your dad and I both have to work on Saturday."  Mary answered her daughter. "Josh, pleeeaase." "Okay, okay, I'll do it."  Josh held his hands up to stop his sister from whining anymore. Johnny laughed, watching the interaction between his family.  "I wish I could remember them."  He thought looking at his brother sitting next to him.  "You know you and Chad can come too.  We could spend the day together, if you want to." Chad nodded his head excitedly.  "What do you say, Josh?" "Why not.  You still remember how to play basketball, don't you?"  He teased Johnny elbowing him. "Yeah, I still remember that.  I remember lots of things, just not anything that happened to me recently."  Johnny joked, laughing. "Okay, we'll come over."  Josh agreed. "Good.  Now Josh it's your turn.  Refresh my memory for me." "Well, I'm 17 and a senior in high school.  I'll be graduating this spring.  I've applied to UCLA, and if I'm lucky, I'll get in." "You'll get in.  You're a brain."  Chad teased his older brother. "What do you plan on studying in college?"  Johnny asked Josh. "Pre-med." "A doctor in the family.  Guess that tops the paramedic and the nurse, huh?"  He teased Josh. Josh smiled at him.  "I didn't know it was a competition." "Everything's a competition with you, Josh."  Chad teased Josh again.  "He's got brains, and he plays a mean game of basketball." "Are you on the team at school?"  Johnny asked Josh. "Yeah, I'm on the varsity team.  I know you don't remember, but you used to come to my games when you had the night off." "Any more games this season?" "A couple more.  You want to come?" "Sure, I don't know when I'll be going back to work, so why not."  He agreed, and then nudged Josh in the ribs.  "That is if you give me directions to where you're playing at." Josh chuckled.  "Yeah, I'll make sure you know where they're at." "Does that mean you'll come early and watch me play too?"  Chad asked. "Which team are you on?"  Johnny asked him. "Junior varsity, and before you ask, I'll tell you.  I'm 15 and a sophomore." "Thanks for the info.  Yeah, I'll come see you play too." "No fair.  You'll be spending all your time with them."  Amanda looked at Johnny.  "I want to spend some more time with you too." "How about this.  I'll pick you up and you and I can go watch their games together."  Johnny suggested. "Okay."  Amanda agreed happily. "I think I'm going to like having brothers and a sister."  Johnny thought to himself as he looked over to Roy smiling at him. Roy leaned over to Mary after Johnny smiled at him.  "Looks like Dr. Brackett's suggestion about encouraging him to be around the people he can't remember, is a good one, both for him and his brothers and sister." "Yeah.  I hope whether he gets his memory back or not, they'll still be close."  Mary smiled at Roy.  "It's your turn Rick." Rick nodded to his wife, and suggested.  "Hey Johnny, how about you and I check over the horses and make sure Josh and Chad took good care of them while you were in the hospital?"  "Yeah, okay."  Johnny said feeling a little nervous.  The last memories he had of his dad was being 9 years old and Rick walking out on his mother.  He stood up anyway, and said to his sister and brothers.  "I'll see you guys Saturday for sure." Rick and Johnny walked out to the barn in silence.  "I know this is probably pretty hard on you.  You don't remember me anymore than as the man that walked out on your family all those years ago." "I'm sorry.  I don't know if we've patched things up, or what."  Johnny answered confused.  "Why didn't you ever come to see Alia and me?  When she was sick, I kept hoping that you'd at least come and visit her." "We've talked about it before, but I don't mind telling you again.  I didn't know that you're sister was sick.  I didn't know a lot of things.  My parents had your the marriage annulled, and I never told Mary about you all, until just before we moved to LA.  It's something I'll always regret." Johnny looked over his horses, and thought about what Rick just told him.  "Although I can't remember it, I have a feeling we did patch things up, didn't we." "Yeah, I guess you could say that."  Rick agreed sitting down on a haybale.  Johnny joined him.  "What makes you say that." "Just thinking back to something mom told me.  When you first left, I was pretty angry at you.  I told her one day that I'd hate you forever.  Mom sat me down, and we had a long talk.  She said that nothing good ever came out of hating people, and that you weren't a bad man, just not strong enough to stand up to your family.  When I asked her if she hated you, she told me, no, she didn't hate you, because if she hadn't fallen in love with you, then she wouldn't have Alia or me." "You're mom and I always did understand each other.  She always knew I wasn't as strong as she was." "Dad, what if my memory never comes back?"  Johnny asked, looking down at his hands. Rick thought about it for a minute.  "I guess what your mom would say is then it's time to start over." "Yeah."  Johnny agreed.  "She probably would say that.  I just don't know what to do about Hanna." "Roy told you that you two were about to get married?" "Yeah.  I don't feel anything.  I didn't even know her until she introduced herself to me.  It's like looking at a total stranger, not somebody I'm supposed to be getting married to in less than two months."  He sighed, running his hand nervously through his hair. "Get to know her again, just like you're doing with us now.  You found some reason to fall in love with her the first time, maybe you'll find that reason again."  Rick suggested. "What do I do, ask her on a date, or what?" "I'd say at least call her, and talk to her.  Since I know she loves you deeply, I'm sure she'll want to spend time with you, trying to help you get your memory back." "This is so frustrating.  Everybody around me, knows me better than I know myself right now." Rick patted Johnny's shoulder.  "Just take your time.  There isn't a clock running, saying you have to get your memory back by a certain deadline.  We all love you and none of us are going to stop loving you, just because you can't remember if you love us back or not.  And who knows, you might just be able to find those feelings again, even if you never do remember the last three years." "Yeah, maybe you're right.  Come on, let's head in."  Johnny and Rick stood up, and left the barn to return to the house.                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It took Johnny almost a month to complete all the recertification testing, proving to both the fire department, and the hospital, that his job knowledge was intact.  He returned to work, and Roy watched him struggle to regain his memory, which continued to be a mystery to him.  A month after Johnny's return to work, Roy was mowing the lawn at home on his day off, when he saw Hanna's car pull in the driveway.  He shut the mower down, and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.  "Hanna."  He called to her walking over to her car. "Hi, Roy."  She replied stepping out of the car, she frowned at him.  "You're busy.  I can come back another time." "No, it's fine.  I needed the break anyway.  Want some ice tea?"  He offered, gesturing her towards the house. "Yeah, thanks."  She followed him inside. After pouring them both a glass of ice tea, Roy sat down at the table with her, handing her a glass.  "So what brings you over here today?" "I have a really big favor to ask of you."  Hanna answered opening her purse, she pulled out an envelope with Johnny's name on it.  "Can you give this to Johnny for me?" Roy took the envelope from her.  "Sure, I guess so.  Why don't you give it to him yourself?" "I can't Roy. I know what I have to do, and writing it in the letter's the best way."  Hanna looked away for a moment, and when she looked back at him, there were tears in her eyes.  "If I try to tell him in person, that I can't see him anymore, I'll break down and tell him the truth." "Wait a minute, not see him anymore?  Why?"  He asked shocked that Hanna would desert him right now. "It's the only way. I got to do this."  Roy thought about what she had said, and asked gently.  "Hanna what is the real reason you're doing this?" Hanna sighed.  "Promise me you won't tell him?' "Whatever you say stays between us.  It's up to you if you want Johnny to know or not."  "I'm pregnant."  She whispered, wiping the tears that rolled down her face with the side of her hand.  "I don't want to force Johnny to be with me because of it.  So I'm just dropping out of his life.  It's for the best, really." "Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"  Roy asked gently, taking her hand in his.  "I don't know Roy.  All I know is that I know Johnny and his amnesia hasn't changed his personality.  If he finds out, he'll ask me to marry him again, and it'll be out of obligation, not because he really feels any love towards me.  I just can't accept that.  When I accepted his proposal, it was because it was asked out of his love for me.  I just can't marry him because he feels responsible.  It would just feel too empty.  Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" "I think so."  Roy squeezed her hand, and nodded.  "Where will you go?" "Well, since he doesn't remember where I live, I'm going to stay in LA for a while." "Will you ever tell him, he's got a child?  You know how hard it was on him when his father walked out on him.  Don't you think he should have the chance to get to know his own son or daughter?"  Roy pleaded softly. "That's why I'm not leaving LA now.  I'll wait until after the baby's born, then I'll tell him before I move back to Montana."  She explained.  Roy stood up and got a box of tissues, and set them on the table.  "Thanks."  She pulled a couple out, wiping her eyes with them.  "Can you make sure you're with him when he reads the letter?" "Yeah, I'll be there for him."  Roy immediately agreed. "Thanks, my heart will rest easier knowing you'll be there for him."  She stood up.  "I better go." Roy stood up with her, and walked her to the door, he pulled her into a hug.  "Take care of yourself, and the baby.  If you need anything, you can always call me.  You know I'll be there for you too." "I appreciate it Roy.  Thanks for everything." "You're welcome, Hanna."                                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roy pulled his car into Johnny's driveway.  He sighed before getting out, and knowing what Johnny was about to find out.  He went up to the door and knocked.  Johnny answered it after a minute.  "Hey Roy, I wasn't expecting to see you today."  He greeted his friend stepping back to allow him into the house. "I have to talk to you about something."  "Sounds serious." "It is, why don't we sit down first."  Roy suggested, sitting down on the couch. Johnny joined him on the couch.  "Okay, what's up?" "There's no easy way around this."  Roy pulled out the letter for him from Hanna.  "Hanna wanted me to give this to you." Johnny looked at the somber expression on Roy's face, figuring it wasn't good news, he nervously opened the letter and pulled it out, leaning back against the couch to read it. My dearest Johnny, Please understand that nothing that has happened has changed my love for you.  Do not feel to blame for what has happened, none of this is your fault.  But, I cannot continue on in a relationship that is one sided.  I know you do not remember the love you once felt for me, and I do not want to force you to lie and say you feel something for me that you don't.  Forgive me for being a coward, but I can no longer be around you.  I can no longer fool myself into thinking that when you look at me, you do so with that tender love in your eyes that I always saw there in the past.  I'm am so very sorry to leave you at a time like this, but I am not strong enough to carry on with the hope that someday you'll remember how much I meant to you.  If one day, you do remember me, you'll know how to find me.  I love you with all my heart, and always will. Hanna When he finished reading the letter, he closed his eyes, and his hands dropped in his lap.  "She left me Roy."  He whispered. "You okay?" "I don't know.  I can't really blame her for leaving.  I can only imagine that it's been as frustrating for her as it's been for me, because I can't remember what we had together."  He answered turning to look at Roy, he handed him the letter. Roy read it quickly.  "She did say that if you do remember, you'll know where to find her." "Yeah, if."  He said bitterly. "Johnny, maybe you're trying too hard to remember, putting too much pressure on yourself."  Roy suggested softly. "Maybe, it's just such a strange feeling to know that part of your life is missing.  You, and everybody else tell me about what happened in the last three years, but I don't feel anything.  Like about Kaycee, you tell me that I was deeply in love with her.  That I married her in the hospital just before she died.  But I don't feel anything, no joy, no grief, nothing.  It's like it happened to somebody else." "Give yourself more time Johnny, it's only been a few months." "More time?  So what else can happen, you and my dad and the rest of my family get tired of waiting for me to remember and give up on me too?" "That's not what Hanna's doing, she's not giving up on you.  If she did, she wouldn't have written the part about you being able to find her if you remembered someday." "Did you talk to her when she gave you the letter?"  Johnny asked. "Yeah, we talked about it.  Believe me Johnny, she's not giving up on you.  She's just having a hard time being around you when you can't show her the love and affection you used to give her so freely.  She just wants to get her own head together and figure out her place in your life now."  Roy explained, wishing he could tell Johnny the real reason for the letter. "You're sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure.  Don't give up hope on your relationship with her.  It could still happen one day." Johnny sighed.  "Maybe you're right, Roy."                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hanna was washing up her dishes from dinner, when she heard the knock at the door.  Wiping her hands on a dish towel, she opened the door.  "Mary, Rick, what brings you over here?"  She asked nervously, already knowing what was on their minds. "Do you mind if we come in?"  Mary asked. "Sure, come on in."  She invited, closing the door behind them. Mary and Rick both sat down on the couch.  "I think you already know why we're here."  Rick gestured for her to join them sitting down. Hanna sat down on the love seat, and nodded her head.  "Johnny." "Look, Hanna, we don't mean to pry, but you and Johnny seemed like such a good match. We're just having a hard time understanding why you'd leave him at a time like this."  Mary said gently. "I know, it must seem like I'm deserting him to you.  I'm not.  I just don't know of a better way to handle this."  She replied twisting the dishtowel in her hands.  "Handle what, dear?"  Mary asked. Hanna sighed at looked away.  "I guess you both have the right to know.   You're going to be grandparents. I'm pregnant." Rick and Mary exchanged a stunned look.  "And that's why you left him?" "He doesn't know.  I just found out last week.  I must have gotten pregnant right before his accident."  She admitted, tears beginning to run down her cheeks. Rick stood up and moved over to sit with Hanna on the love seat, putting his arm around her.  "Why don't you just tell him?" "I can't.  I know how he is.  He'll only think about doing the honorable thing and marrying me.  I just don't want to be his wife in name only.  He doesn't love me right now." "Rick, I hate to admit it, but Hanna's right.  With Johnny's amnesia, he doesn't remember he loves her."  Mary said to her husband, coming over to Hanna, she knelt in front of her, and pulled Hanna into a hug.  "Whatever happens, that's still our grandbaby you're having.  You know Rick and I will do everything we can for you." "I know that.  I'm so sorry this happened."  She answered, crying softly on Mary's shoulder. "If anybody understands how these things happen, it's me.  Don't forget, Johnny was one of the reason's his mother and I got married so young."  Rick squeezed her shoulder. "I promise, I will tell him eventually.  I just want to wait until after the baby's born though." "And then what?"  Mary asked. "Then, I'm moving back to Montana.  It's for the best.  I can't stay around here.  Johnny will just try too hard to force himself to feel something for me.  I just know it."  "It's your choice Hanna, just know that you've got some family here, too.  It doesn't matter to us that you and Johnny aren't married.  We still consider you part of the family."  Rick told her. "I know that.  Please, don't tell Johnny." "Hanna, that's up to you."  Rick answered. "I wish you consider telling him now, although, I can see you have your reasons for not telling him."  Mary said softly. "Thanks, I appreciate everything, really."  Rick looked at his watch.  "I hate to say this, but we have to go, we're supposed to be meeting Johnny for dinner, with the rest of the family." "It's okay, I'll be alright, I was about to call my brother anyway.  Go on, I don't want Johnny asking you two a lot of questions about where you've been." "You sure you're going to be okay?"  Mary asked. "Yeah, I'm sure." "Tell you what, next Saturday, I'm picking you up, and we're going to do some shopping for the baby."  She smiled tentatively at Hanna. "I'd like that.  Spoiling your grandchild already?"  She wiped the tears away, and grinned at Mary. "Something like that."  Mary hugged her again, kissing her cheek. "When you're ready to set up furniture and things, you give me a call, and I'll bring Chad and Josh by.  We'll take care of it for you."  Rick added also giving Hanna a hug and kiss. "I'll do that."  She got up, walking Rick and Mary to the door.  "Thanks for coming by tonight, I mean it.  I feel a lot better knowing that you'll be there for me and the baby." "I just wish this had a happier ending for you, Hanna."  Mary squeezed her arm as she passed by her on the way out. "Me too."  Hanna agreed, waving to them as they started down the stairs to the parking lot.                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You're what?!"  Tony asked his sister on the phone. "I'm going to be moving back to Montana in as soon as my lease expires here.  It's due to expire in eight months."  Hanna explained again. "What about Johnny?"  He asked her. She sighed.  "It's a long story, Tony.  I'm not ready to talk about it yet."  "Did he hurt you?"  He asked feeling protective of his younger sister. "It's like I said, it's a long story.  Please, just give me some time to sort some things out, and I'll tell you about it, I promise." "Yeah, okay.  You take care of yourself."  "I will, bye Tony." "Good bye Hanna."  Tony hung up the phone and looked at his wife, Rachel.  "Something really big's gone wrong." "They broke up?"  Rachel asked stunned. "I don't know, Hanna didn't say."  He frowned, and quickly made up his mind.  "Rachel, call the airlines, book me the next flight going to LA.  I'm going to get to the bottom of this." "Okay, go pack.  I'll take care of it."  Rachel agreed, picking up the phone to arrange Tony's ticket.                                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tony flagged down a cab when he arrived at LAX, and gave the driver Hanna's address.  He watched the scenery go by as the cab darted in and out of rush hour traffic.  When the cab stopped in front of Hanna's apartment building, Tony handed the driver some money, and walked up to Hanna's apartment.  He knocked on the door, hoping she was in, since he hadn't called her in advance to let her know he was coming.  "Hi sis."  He greeted warmly when Hanna opened the door. "What are you doing here?"  She asked motioning him inside. "I came to see you.  Thought you might need your big brother right now."  He dropped his bags next to the couch and sat down. Hanna sat down next to him on the couch.  "I told you, it's a long story." "Well, since we don't have to worry about long distance fees, why don't you tell me the long story."  He gently prodded. She sighed.  "Yeah, I guess I should tell you what's happened.  First of all don't blame Johnny for this.  It's really not his fault.  But I've cancelled the wedding." "Why?"  Tony demanded, starting to get upset, despite his sister's warning. "I told you about Johnny's accident, he still has amnesia.  He hasn't remembered anything that happened in the last three years.  Not meeting his family, seeing you again, being married to Kaycee before. . . Even me, he doesn't even remember me." He pulled his sister into a hug, when he saw the tears begin to fall from her eyes.  "Nothing?" "Nothing.  He doesn't know me, or remember how much he used to love me." "And that's why you're moving back to Montana?" "Well, that's not the only reason.  Tony, I'm pregnant.  I found out last week. I'm about two and a half months pregnant.  I must have gotten pregnant just before Johnny had the accident." "Does he know yet?" "No, and I don't want him to."  "Why not, he's the father.  Don't you think he deserves to know he's going to be a dad?" "Tony, his amnesia hasn't changed his personality.  We both know that if he finds out I'm pregnant, he'll force himself to marry me.  I love him too much to tie him down to somebody he's not in love with."  She explained. "You will tell him someday though, right?" "Yeah, after the baby's born, I'll tell him right before I move back to Montana, I promise."  "You gonna be okay?"  Tony asked concerned for her. "Yeah, I'll make it.  At least I know my baby was conceived out of the love we had for each other.  I can live with raising it by myself, knowing it's part of that love we used to share." "Rachel and I will help you as much as we can."  He offered sincerely. "I know you will."  She smiled through her tears at her brother.  "You always did take care of me, didn't think you'd stop now." Tony smiled back at her.  "That's what big brothers are supposed to do.  As long as I'm in town, can I see him?" "Just promise me, you won't tell him that I'm pregnant." "I won't, that's your responsibility to tell him."  Tony agreed. "Okay, I'll call Roy and see if he can come by and pick you up, and take you by the ranch."  Hanna reached for the phone to call Roy.                                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roy knocked on Johnny's door, Tony standing next to him.  "Don't be surprised if he doesn't recognize you."  Roy warned. "I know, Hanna told us about his accident when it happened, we thought maybe he was getting better. . .  But thanks for the warning anyway." Johnny opened the door.  "Roy, I wasn't expecting you today.  Who's your friend?"  He stepped aside allowing Roy and Tony to enter his home. "More like, your friend."  Roy said sitting down on the couch.  "My friend?"  Johnny asked puzzled, looking Tony over.  "I'm sorry, I don't recognize you." "I didn't expect you to.  Johnny, it's me, Tony.  You're best friend growing up in Montana.  I've been told you do remember everything up to three years ago."  Tony extended his hand to Johnny. "Tony. . .Beumont?"  Johnny pulled him into a fierce hug, patting him on the back.  "I thought you looked familiar.  How are you doing.  I haven't seen you in what, 12, no wait 13 years." "Well, actually, you did come visit me and my family in Montana about a year ago."  Tony reminded him. "Sorry, I don't remember that."  Johnny apologized. "No need to apologize, it's not your fault."  Tony smiled at him. "Have a seat."  Johnny offered motioning Tony to the couch, while he sat down in his recliner. "Thanks."  "So what brings you to LA?"  Johnny asked. "Came to visit my sister, and I figured as long as I was in town, I'd come see you too."  Tony replied, watching the expressions change on Johnny's face. "Oh.  Tony, I'm really sorry for hurting your sister. I never meant to do that." "I know you didn't.  Things happen.  She understands that." "You don't know how much I wish I could remember everything."  He said sadly. "Someday you will and I'm sure Hanna will be waiting for you." "That's what Roy said."  Johnny sighed and looked down at his hands. "And Roy was right.  I know my sister, she hasn't given up on you Johnny.  She still feels very deeply for you." "God, you don't know how badly I want to feel the same way for her.  I feel like I'm putting her through so much suffering, because of my stupid memory." "Don't be so hard on yourself.  I bet your memories will come back at a time that you least expect it and when you're not really trying to remember."  Tony told him.   "Just give yourself some time." "I keep telling him the same thing."  Roy grinned at Johnny.  "But you know how stubborn he can be." "Yeah, I remember." Tony chuckled, and looked at Johnny again.  "They didn't call you hard headed for nothing." Johnny finally cracked a grin.  "Maybe you guys are right. I guess I am just trying too hard."                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was a quiet night six months later, when the men of A-shift had settled down to sleep.  When the alarm sounded, all the men jumped out of their bunks, racing to pull on their turnout pants and boots.  As soon as dispatch began to announce the call, the engine crew sat back down.  "Squad 51, woman in labor, 2249 Cannon, Apartment 4.  2 2 4 9 Cannon, apartment 4.  Time out 03:16." Johnny and Roy continued on into the equipment bay while the rest of the fireman undressed, and slid back under the covers hoping to fall back asleep quickly.  Roy stopped in the radio alcove to write down the address, and acknowledge the call.  "Squad 51, KMG-365."  He handed the paper to Johnny when he jumped in the squad with him. Johnny took it from him and looked at the address again as they pulled out.  "There's something familiar about this address."  He thought to himself and looked over at Roy.  "Roy, we've been to this address before." Roy glanced over at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road.  "Yeah, Johnny, we've been to this address before."  "It's like right on the tip of my tongue.  I know who's address this is, but I just can't put the name with the address."  Johnny frowned thinking hard. Roy held his breath hoping that Johnny would remember.  He didn't want to say anything to him, afraid he would tip off Johnny as to who they were going to help.  "We know them really well."  Was all he dared to say. "2249 Cannon, apartment 4."  Johnny repeated.  "I can see the door with the number on it.  Who's door is it?"  He gasped when in his mind's eye he saw who opened the door.  "Roy, it's Hanna's apartment." "Yeah, Johnny, it's Hanna's apartment."  He confirmed, smiling. "I remember it!"  Johnny said excitedly.  "I remember everything!  It's all back.  I even remember what happened with Kaycee.  My memory's back."  "That's good, Johnny.  Now, do you remember what kind of call we're on?"  He reminded him. "Yeah, woman in labor. . . Woman in labor?  Hanna's pregnant?  When did this happen?" "She found out right after you lost your memory.  That's why she stopped seeing you."  Roy explained. "Why did she do that?  Oh, Roy, she had to go through this alone." "Because she didn't want you to marry her out of responsibility for the baby.  She wanted you to remember how much you loved her and marry her for that reason only."  "Well, I do remember how much I love her, and I'm going to marry her."  He said emphatically. "That's wonderful, Johnny.  But let's concentrate on the reason we're heading to her place in the middle of the night right now, okay?" "Yeah."  He agreed as they pulled up to the parking area of the apartment complex.  Before Roy had a chance to shut off the engine, he hopped out of the squad and pulled out the biophone and drug box.  "Can you get the rest?" "I got it."  Roy answered. "Okay."  Johnny took off at a run, bounding up the stairs, heading straight for Hanna's apartment.  "Hanna?!"  He called knocking on the door and trying the doorknob.  Finding it locked, he drew his foot back and kicked the door in.  "Hanna?!"  He called again entering the apartment. "In the bedroom."  She answered.  "Hurry." "I'm coming Hanna."  He told her quickly crossing the apartment to her bedroom.  "Are you okay?" "Besides feeling like I'm being torn in half?"  She asked half-joking. Johnny grinned at her and set the equipment down.  "Roy's right behind me.  Let's check you out and see how you're doing." "Figures, they'd send you two.  I guess you figured out that I'm having your baby." "Yeah, I did."  Johnny nodded sitting down next to her on the bed.  "And I figured out a lot of other things too." "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"  Hanna asked looking up at him in surprise. "Yeah, I remembered.  I remembered everything, most especially I remembered how much I love you, Hanna."  He reached down and pulled her into his arms. She sobbed on his chest.  "You really remember that you love me?" "Yeah, I do.  Do you still feel that way about me?"  He asked rubbing her back soothing her. "I never stopped, not even after I had Roy give you that letter.  I was going to tell you about the baby, I just wanted to wait until after it was born." "Don't worry about that now Hanna.  I'm here now.  It's going to be okay."  He lifted her face to his and kissed her tenderly. "Johnny, let's get her checked out, okay?"  Roy asked catching them kissing as he entered the room. "Yeah, we need to take good care of your godchild Roy."  Johnny grinned at him, setting the biophone up. "My godchild?"  Roy asked surprised pulling the OB box open. "Yeah, now that I know I'm having a kid and all, I guess it's time to ask you to be the godfather." Roy grinned back.  "Yeah, okay then, I accept."                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A year to the day of Kel and Dixie's wedding, everyone assembled again at the small church for the double ceremony.  Hanna, Johnny, Roy and Dixie all stood in the front of the church with the minister.  As godmother, Dixie held the baby for the christening.  "It's my pleasure to welcome to our community, the newest member of this church, Elizabeth Alia Gage." The church erupted into applause, and Dixie took Lizzy back to sit with Kel, while Rachel changed places with her to stand by Hanna's side, while Roy remained next to Johnny.  The minister turned to Johnny and Hanna.  "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. . . "                                                                                      THE END Author's note:  Once again any medical, technical or geographical errors are mine.  Thanks to everyone for all their help in naming Kaycee's Star.  I hope you enjoyed the sequel as much as I enjoyed writing it. RETURN TO MAIN PAGE