A HAIRY SITUATION by Pattie H. The statement played over and over in his head.  'Get a haircut.'  John Gage grumbled about the Chief's comment. He didn't think he needed a haircut.  He didn't think his hair was too long.  Afterall, it wasn't his hat and that made the Chief think his hair was not up to the regulations! It had been a long, exhausting shift for Station 51.  They had more than the usual number of runs and by the time supper was over they were more than ready for bed.  Later that evening Johnny went to shower and realized he was out of shampoo.  He was going to 'borrow' Roy's, but Chet was in the locker room.  It had been a busy day and he was too tired to have an argument with Chet.  He sat on the bench and sighed. "What's the matter Gage?"  asked Chet disinterestedly. "I forgot to get more shampoo the other day.  I'm all out,"  he replied. "Here.  You can use mine,"  he said as he tossed Johnny a bottle. "Alright, what's the catch?"  accepting the bottle from Chet. "Nothing.  Just trying to be nice." "Smells a little minty.  Where'd you get it?"  he asked his nemesis warily. "It's new.  My sister got it for me from her hairdresser.  Supposed to be real good for your hair." "Thanks Chet.  I appreciate it."  Slowly he got up from the bench and prepared to step into the shower.  Chet snickered as he left the locker room. Chet strolled into the day room looking like the cat that ate the canary. "What's got you in such a good mood?"  asked Marco. "Oh, nothin'," he answered. "Yeah, right.  What'd you do to Johnny's locker?"  Mike asked suspiciously. "Nothing.  I didn't touch his locker,"  replied Chet, trying to look innocent. "Did you steal his clothes or put something in his bed?" demanded Roy.  He got up to go check. "Roy, I didn't touch his clothes or his bed.  Now, if the twenty-questions are over,  I'm going to turn in." The other men exchanged concerned glances.  Turning off the television and lights they followed him into the apparatus bay. Captain Hank Stanley came out of his office and saw the men heading for the locker room.  "I was just thinking the same thing.  Where's John?" "Taking a shower," replied Chet. "Oh.  I'll be in a few minutes." "'Kay Cap,"  answered Roy, stifling a yawn. Chet was the first one finished and went into the dorm.  Johnny exited the shower with a towel wrapped around his narrow waist and his hair still dripping.  Roy tossed him another towel. "Thanks Roy,"  he said. "Did you leave any hot water?" "Very funny and yes, I did." "Good," replied Roy and he jumped into the shower. John started to get dressed and thought it a bit strange that his head started to feel warm.  Then he felt it over his shoulders and back too.  He put his t-shirt on and reached for his turnouts.  He still felt warm, but his head now felt like it was on fire.  He walked over to the mirror and looked at his hair. Roy stepped out of the shower.  "You hurt yourself?" He asked. "No.  Why?" "I smell that stuff you use on sore muscles.  Minty - you know?" "Oh shit!" "What?" "I ran out of shampoo and Chet offered me his.  I noticed the minty smell and he said it was new and his sister got it for him.  I should have never used it."  He shook his head.  "Roy - I gotta get this out of my hair.  My head feels like it's on fire." "Get in there and wash it again.  Use my shampoo."  Johnny jumped back in the shower after quickly shedding his clothes. "What's going on?"  asked Hank. "Chet sabotaged Johnny with shampoo." "Say again?" "He loaned Johnny shampoo laced with that stuff you use on sore muscles.  I can't think of what it's called." "You mean Ben-Gay?  Oh, for crying out loud.  Is he okay?" "I have him in there washing it again.  He said his head felt like it was on fire." "I don't doubt it.  That stuff can be, ummmm - well, let's hope he's careful in there.  If you know what I mean." "Johnny!"  called Roy. "What?" "Don't let any of that get on, uh...the rest of you." "Don't worry Roy.  I already thought of that.  I'm gonna kill him!" After several washings he stepped out of the shower.  "Feel better?" asked Roy. "No.  Not really." Cap returned to the locker room.  "You okay pal?" "I think so.  Head still feels hot but I'll live.  I'm gonna kill Chet." "I understand that, but let me talk to him first.  You have every right to be angry." "Fine, but I still want to kill him." Several hours later.... Johnny woke up in pain.  He got up and ran to the latrine.  He looked in the mirror and his scalp had several areas that were beginning to blister. Gage's sudden exit from the dorm woke Roy.  He followed his partner. "Johnny?" Gage jumped and spun around.  "Geez Roy!  Scare a guy to death why don't ya?" "Sorry.  You okay?" "No.  My head feels really bad.  I think that stuff burned me.  Look - " he parted his hair and Roy could see the blisters that were forming.  He could also see that his partner was in a lot of pain.  He ran a towel under cold water, handed it to Johnny, and told him to put it on his head. Then he went to get Cap and the trauma box.  Roy got out a burn-pack, sterile water, and gauze.  He didn't realize how badly his partner was hurting until he got no argument from Gage.  Cap sent everyone back to the dorm and called in the Code I.  Roy finished wrapping John's head and took him to Rampart in the squad. "He gonna be okay Cap?"  asked a sleepy Marco. "Won't really know until Roy calls.  Chet - may I have a word with you...NOW!" A short time later Hank had Chet's confession.  "Really Chet...Ben-Gay...in shampoo??  Whatever possessed you?" "A friend of mine came up with the idea.  He had done it to someone else.  It sounded like a good idea.  Hey - that other guy didn't get hurt.  I wonder what went wrong?" "Did you do it right?" "Well...he never told me how.  I just guessed." "Maybe you better find out, so we know what went wrong.  Roy took the bottle to the hospital with Johnny.  You know he's really angry at you." "I'm sorry.  It wasn't supposed to hurt him.  I just wanted to make a joke about him being a 'hothead'.  I really am sorry." "Tell that to him, not me." "Man.  I feel really bad." "Let's go back to the dorm.  Roy should be calling soon." Dr. Mike Morton couldn't believe his ears when Roy told him what happened. "Here's the proof."  He handed Morton the bottle. "That's cruel Roy.  What did Gage do to him to deserve this?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Nothing at all." "I just don't understand it Roy." "It's a game.  He thinks the jokes are funny. Mostly he plays them on Johnny, but he gets everyone sooner or later.  Only most of the time, he's the only one who thinks it's funny.  He knows Johnny will fuss and fume and swear revenge, but he's never able to get even." "Sounds like your Captain has his hands full." "He does." The night nurse, Carol Johnson, interrupted the conversation to tell the doctor that the patient was ready.  Roy looked at Morton, who said with a smile,  "C'mon Roy.  You can help."  Roy nodded his appreciation and they entered the room. Morton was stunned by the amount of small blisters all over Johnny's scalp.  He looked at his patient before continuing. "Well, the good news is that you only have 2nd degree burns up here.  The bad news is that it also seems to have damaged your hair."  To the nurse he said, "Carol.  Have we gotten the lab results yet?" "No. I'll call to see what's keeping them." Johnny was not thrilled with the whole good news/bad news deal.  He was in a lot of pain so Mike Morton ordered some MS and an IV for him.  Soon he was feeling no pain and very drowsy.  Once he closed his eyes the doctor picked up the scissors. Roy started to say something, but Mike stopped him. "I know Roy, I know.  I don't have a choice.  I can't shave him, but I do have to cut it."  When he was finished, Johnny hardly had any hair left.  "It'll grow back, honest." "I don't think he's going to believe that for a while.  He's going to be very upset." "It's only hair and it was a bit long." "He's always been very proud of his hair and hated to have it cut when he left the reservation. However, in order to survive and get a decent job he did.  Apparently it was quite long.  I wish I could have seen that." "Yeah,"  the doctor snickered.  "Me too." A hard look from Roy stopped him.  "I'm sorry.  I just can't picture him with a ponytail." "Is there going to be any permanent damage?" "No.  He should heal nicely.  It's going to require some time off though.  I don't want him wearing a helmet till all the blisters heal and he'll need to keep bandages on to prevent infection.  Once that's passed, he should be okay to return to work.  However..." "What?" "I'd tell Chet to plan his vacation for that week.  I feel sorry for him when Johnny gets a hold of him!" "Me too.  When can I take him home?" "I'd like to keep him for observation for a while before I release him.  I'd also like to know what Kelly used." Carol entered the room and handed a folder to the young doctor.  "Here's the lab report."  He read it over and said, "Well, as near as they can tell it was cheap shampoo, Ben Gay, and rubbing alcohol.  There was a chemical reaction and that caused the burns.  He's lucky.  It could have been worse." The nurse stopped short when she noticed the pile of hair on the tray by the bed.  "Oh my heavens!  He's gonna be so upset.  It's a good thing he isn't awake.  Poor Johnny!" Morton shook his head and said,  "Can you put some burn ointment on and get him bandaged up?" "Sure Doctor," she replied and started working on her patient. Roy followed the doctor out of the room.  "Guess I better call the station and report in." "Well, tell your captain that Johnny needs to stay here at least until the morphine wears off and that will be a couple of hours.  When he wakes up I'll make a final decision based on his pain level and vitals." "Thanks Doc." "Thanks for the update Roy.  I'll take the squad out of service since the shift is nearly over.  C'mon back when you're through." "I'll be leaving as soon as they have him settled in a room." "Okay Roy.  See you then." Three worried faces peered up at him from their bunks.  "Second degree burns.  He's going to be off for a while till they heal.  They gave him some morphine for the pain and he's sleeping it off at Hotel Rampart." "I'm sorry Cap.  It wasn't supposed to be like this." "Tell that to Gage.  They had to cut his hair you know, to prevent infection and to treat the burns.  He is really going to be upset over this.  When he can finally return to duty there will be no hair jokes or any other forms of teasing.  Am I clear??"  He said a bit louder than he had intended. Mike and Marco replied in the affirmative.  "Kelly?  I'm waiting." "Can I answer after I see his hair?" "Kelly!"  growled the exasperated captain. "Just joking.  I won't - honest." "Perhaps you better save the jokes for the Chief.  He's not going to be happy when I tell him the reason that I had to pull the squad out of service in the middle of the night was because of one of your pranks...again." "Yes sir," said Kelly and he crawled under his covers.  Stoker and Lopez exchanged smirks and then tried to go back to sleep. "Hey Cap?  You gonna try and get some sleep?" "I'm too aggravated to sleep right now Mike.  Think I'll make some coffee."  He left the dorm for the kitchen.  Forty minutes and two cups of coffee later, he heard Roy back the squad into it's customary spot in the garage.  DeSoto wasn't surprised to see that the captain was still awake. "Coffee?" Hank asked the sleepy paramedic as he lifted his mug.  "There's still half a pot in there." "No thanks.  Not tired?"  asked DeSoto. "Too aggravated.  How's John?" "Well he's still out of it.  They put him in an observation  room for now.  He was pretty miserable before the morphine." "I don't doubt it.  Why don't you try to get some sleep?" "I think I will.  I'll probably be at Rampart most of the morning. G'night." "Night Roy."  Hank took his coffee and went to watch the late, late movie with Henry. Roy left the station for Rampart General at 7am.  Dixie McCall smiled when she saw him coming through the ER doors.   "What brings you in here on your day off?" "I'm here to pick up my partner if he's released this morning." "Johnny's here?"  she asked, surprised. "Yep.  They have him in Observation Room #2." "Well I'll be.  When I got here at 7:00 it was a circus.  I haven't had time to stop and breathe until just now.  What happened?" "Chet pulled a prank on him by doctoring some shampoo.  To make a sick story short he's got 2nd degree burns on his head and neck.  Morton kept him here.  Said he'd decide when Johnny woke up." "I'll bet he was in a lot of pain." "Yeah.  He gave him some MS and it knocked him out." "Let's go see if he's awake yet." Roy and Dixie walked into the room to find Gage just waking up. "How're you feeling Johnny?"  she asked as she began taking his vitals. "Tired,"  he replied quietly. "Pain?" "Some." "Not too talkative this morning?" "Tired,"  he repeated and yawned. "Cap and the guys send their regards.  He'll probably call you later.  Morton been in yet?" "Nope." While Dixie updated his chart he motioned for Roy to come over.  "What's up Junior?" "I need to, uh... you know," he said quietly. "Oh!  Sure, no problem.  Dix?  Your patient has to use the little fireman's room." "Okay.  You help him with that and I'll go see what's keeping Dr. Morton," she grinned. "Thanks Dix," replied Roy. When she returned, Roy was helping his partner back into bed.  "Feel better?" she asked with a giggle. Johnny shot her a look that let her know her comment wasn't appreciated. "Sorry.  He'll be down in a few minutes.  You're vitals have improved.  I doubt he'll keep you." "Well, one never knows what to expect from him so..." added Roy. "Yeah," said Johnny sullenly. Dr. Mike Morton walked into the room to find Roy reading a magazine and Johnny dozing.  "Dix said he was awake." "He was.  He just fell back asleep.  Said he's really tired." "That's the morphine.  He ever have problems waking up after it before?"  asked the doctor with concern. "Not that I know of.  Why?" asked Roy. "Just wondering." "We had a long and busy shift yesterday. We were all exhausted." Morton reached over and gave Gage's shoulder a shake.  "John?  Time to wake up." A moment later his eyelids fluttered open.  "Rise and shine sleepyhead."  A dirty look from his patient spurred him on.  "Sorry.  How are you feeling?" "Lousy." "Care to elaborate for me?" "I'm tired.  My head hurts and now I feel a little nauseous." "I'll give you an Rx for the pain.  The rest I believe is from the MS.  Ever have a problem with it before?" "I don't think so." "Well, I might have to keep you here." "What if he comes home with me?"  Roy asked knowing how much his partner disliked being a patient.  Before the doctor could answer, the patient replied, "No!" "Why not?"  asked Roy. "I'll be fine.  I'll just stay on the couch and behave.  I promise." "Sorry John.  I think it would be best if you did stay with Roy at least for 24 hours."  He held up his hand to nip Gage's protest in the bud.  "Just to be sure you aren't having a reaction to the MS.  Your system is already out of sorts.  Let's just err on the side of caution.  Okay?" He really wanted to argue but knew that the doctor and his partner were right.  What if he had a reaction and couldn't get to the phone?   "Fine," he grumbled.  He consented, but he didn't have to be happy about it. "Alright John. I'll get you released and Dix will be by to let you know when you can leave.  And for what it's worth, I'm sorry."  When the doctor got a confused look from his patient he realized that John didn't know about the emergency haircut. Roy said, "Thanks Doc.  I can handle it from here." Morton smiled and nodded his appreciation to the sandy-haired paramedic.  "Thanks Roy." "What's going on Roy?"  Johnny asked struggling to sit upright. "Settle down Junior.  How's your stomach?" "I still feel like I'm going to be sick.  Now answer my question." "Well....ummm....," as Roy struggled for the right words. "Spit it out Roy."  Johnny was becoming more agitated. "You see - well, there's just no easy way to say it Johnny.  He didn't want to, but he had to cut your hair to treat your burns." "You're joking, right?  I mean, you're playing a joke on me - please say you are." "I'm sorry Johnny.  It's not a joke. He didn't have a choice.  You know the medical reasons." "All of it?"  he asked quietly. "Pretty much," he paused.  "You know it'll grow back.  It'll just take some time." "What'll I do till then?" he asked dejectedly. "Wear a hat?"  suggested Roy. "Not funny Roy." "I was serious.  You'll have to wear bandages and be off work till all the blisters heal.  Then you get your barber to 'fix' Morton's hatchet job and wear a ball cap.  I'm sure Cap won't mind." "I guess, but man!  Why did this have to happen to me?" "Johnny, it'll be alright.  I promise." "That's easy for you to say." "Look at it this way - it'll be a long time before the Chief tells you to get a haircut again."  Roy offered with a slight smile. Johnny stared daggers at his partner then let out a low moan.  Roy asked, "What's wrong?" "Well, when I do get to go back to work - Chet will never leave me alone about all this." "Yes, he will.  He's in hot water over this prank and he won't be saying anything to you about your hair.  Don't forget  -  it's his fault." "That's right John," said Hank Stanley from the doorway.  "How ya feeling pal?" "Not so great," replied the distraught patient. "Didn't expect to see you this morning," Roy said to their captain. "I decided to stop by on my way home and see how my youngest charge was doing," he grinned. "Not so good since he found out about the haircut. I told him he could probably wear a ball cap at work till it grows in." "Sure.  I don't have a problem with that.  I'll run it by the Chief.  I don't think he'll have a problem with it either.  What do you think John?"  asked Hank Stanley. "Fine," was the only response he gave and looked out the window. Cap looked from his sullen medic to DeSoto.  Roy shrugged.  Hank stayed a few minutes longer then left. A short time later Dixie entered the room with Johnny's release papers.  "You're free to go," she smiled and dropped the siderail on the bed. "Need a hand?" He was about to respond when Roy spoke up,  "I think we can handle it.  Thanks Dix." "Okay.  See ya around."  Before leaving she leaned over and gave her 'patient' a kiss on the cheek.  "You take care of yourself Johnny Gage.  If you need any help, I'm just a phone call away.  Okay?" He finally smiled a little and blushed,  "Thanks Dixie."  She left and Roy helped his partner get up.  Once he was on his feet, he made it to the bathroom to get dressed.  Roy had brought John's clothes from his locker.  Roy looked up when his partner finally emerged.  "C'mon, let's go home." John spent the next two days at his partner's house.  Roy's wife, JoAnne, and kids were out of town visiting her mother.  When Roy had to return to work, John insisted on going home.  The next morning he woke up in his own bed and felt a little better.  He wasn't hungry so he made some coffee.  When it was finished he took a cup in the living room and laid down on the sofa to watch TV.  The day passed slowly and he was glad that Roy'd be stopping by in the morning. The next morning, he had just exited the bathroom after his shower when the doorbell rang.  He gently placed the damp towel over his head and answered the door.  Roy and the rest of A-shift were standing there.  They had coffee and donuts from the cafe near the station. He invited them in and greeted each of his co-workers.  Chet snickered as he found a place to sit down. "What?"  asked Johnny. "You look ridiculous.  Is that a new fashion trend you're starting?" and he pointed to the towel on Gage's head. "Kelly!" Came Cap's stern warning. "It's okay Cap.  He's just acting his IQ again." "Funny Gage, NOT!" Roy returned from the kitchen with paper plates and napkins.  The he motioned to his partner.  "Need a hand?" "Huh?" "With the bandages." "No.  I'll wait a bit.  Besides the towel feels much better!" "Okay, but I'll help you before I leave." "Sounds good.  I don't know about you, but I'm hungry." After breakfast, Cap stood up and Mike handed him a brown paper bag.  "John?  We have something for you.  I spoke to the Chief and he thought that wearing a ball cap till your hair grows back in," pausing to shoot Kelly a dirty look, "was an excellent idea.  So we had some Station 51 hats made up and we're all going to wear them."  Cap handed the bag to Johnny.  He pulled out a black cap with a red 51 on the front.  John was stunned and a little flustered. "Gee, guys.  Thanks!  I don't know what else to say." "That's a first...John Gage at a loss for words!" replied Chet. Marco elbowed him in the ribs.  "Ouch!  Hey, what was that for?"  Everyone laughed as Chet grumbled and rubbed his side. Cap reached over to his recovering medic and put a hand on his shoulder.  "Hope you're back at work soon pal." "Thanks Cap.  I'm supposed to see Brackett in two days and he'll decide when I can come back." "I hope it's soon - cause if Roy gets stuck with Brice till then....."  Chet commented and set off another round of laughter. "Let's go men.  I'm sure John has things to do and my wife has that damn 'honey-do' list a mile long by now."  He reached down and grabbed John's hand.  "Take care pal and see ya soon." Returning the handshake, "Thanks Cap.  Guys.  You don't know how much I appreciate all of this." Soon it was down to just Roy and John.  "C'mon let me take a look and help you wrap up.  Then I'll help you clean up this mess." John kept his appointment with Brackett, who determined that John could return to work after the next two shift breaks passed.  He would finally return to work after almost two and a half weeks. John's first day back was starting off pretty good.  He was a bit nervous, wondering how and when the Phantom would strike or if Chet would say something about his nearly bald head.  He showed up already dressed with his Station 51 hat firmly in place. Mike and Marco  were reading parts of the paper when he stepped into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.   "Morning Johnny,"  aid Marco. "Hi guys," he replied. "Good to have you back Johnny," added Stoker.  Hank entered and said, "That goes double for me." "Thanks Cap, Mike.  It's good to be back." At roll call Cap officially welcomed Gage back.  Roy was all smiles.  He was glad to have things back to normal. It was a long, busy day for the entire station.  The squad and engine were rarely in the station together until after supper.  Everyone was tired and wanted a shower before bed. Johnny waited till last, still not willing to let anyone see him without his hat.  While he was showering, Chet came in to use the latrine.  He had just finished washing his hands when Johnny stepped out of the shower with just a towel around his waist.  Chet froze and so did Gage.  Chet couldn't help but stare at John's head, which made both of them very uncomfortable. Finally Johnny broke the silence, "Go ahead Chet.  Say it and get it over with." "Huh?" "Whatever it is you're going to say - please do it now and get it over with," he closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry." "What?"  He looked at Chet and saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. "I said.....I'm sorry.  I never wanted you to get hurt.  It was just supposed to be a harmless prank and I'm really sorry.  I had no idea how badly I hurt you till now and I wouldn't make fun of you.  I hope you can forgive me someday." After a long pause Johnny added, "I'm sorry too." "Why?" asked Chet. "For thinking that you'd come off with some nasty remark or joke.  I've been making myself sick wondering when you were going to say something or the 'Phantom' would strike." "Well, I've given you plenty of reasons to think that.  Again, I'm sorry Johnny." "If it makes you feel better, I forgive you.  I know you didn't really want to hurt me.  Friends?"  He extended his right hand in Chet's direction.  Chet took John's hand and shook it. "Thanks man.  I don't know that I could be so forgiving." "I've had a lifetime of practice Chet, but that's a story for another day.  Now get outta here so I can get dressed.  We don't want any rumors to get started, now do we?"  He laughed. Chet smiled, "Sure thing Johnny."  He left the locker room and Gage got dressed.  He took a look in the mirror and sighed.  Pulling his ball cap snugly down over his head, he grabbed his turnouts and walked into the dorm. (The End) {Author's Note:  This story was partially inspired by a challenge I read somewhere (can't remember where!) and a close encounter with Ben-Gay after a hot shower!  Thanks to my hubby for reading this and encouraging me to finish it and send it in.  Thanks to Janet for giving it a home on the Green Pen!} return to main menu