Not needing to be quiet and listen as they walked, Chet and Marco hurried down the
tunnels, Chet carrying two shovels and Marco carrying one shovel and a lantern.
Their quicker pace got them to Roy's position in half the time it had
taken Roy himself. "Johnny?" Roy called as he dug at the dirt with his helmet. Seeing Marco and Chet arrive, he put his helmet down and picked up his talkie. "Johnny, can you read me?" "Roy," Cap's voice came out of it instead, "can you hear anything?" "Not yet Cap," Roy answered quickly. Static and muffled coughing came back at him, and he wondered why Cap hadn't let go of the button. More pebbles rained down on his head as he picked up a shovel to start digging. Marco pointed his lantern upward and cursed loudly. "We got to get outta here!" "Don't think about it Marco," Roy encouraged, "just concentrate on digging." "No Roy, it's giving way, let's GO!" Looking up, he a cracked beam above them, bending further and further downward as more and more dirt from above continued to drift down on top of it. At any moment, it would give, causing a second cave-in. The only thing any of them could do, was run. Grabbing his shovel, and slamming his helmet down on his head, Roy raced after the other two; the fear of himself being buried down there as well momentarily over riding his concern for his best friend. Dirt rained down upon them until they made a turn that seemed to take them underneath stronger ceiling beams. Behind them the earth filled in what they had just left behind. The three men panted and tried to catch their breath in the dust ridden air. "My God," Marco puffed, crossing himself. "How far did we run?" Chet asked, red faced and filthy. "Got to have been almost a quarter of a mile," Roy answered quietly as if talking to himself. "No way Roy, can't be that far. I couldn't run an entire quarter of a mile if my life de..." "Depended on it. It did, and YOU did." "My god," Marco repeated, looking at the filled in tunnel behind them. Scowling at the dirt, Roy hitched up his shovel and continued his way out of the mine. Chet and Marco followed behind. Their little shovels would now be about as useful as a teaspoon to bale out the Titanic. Roy blinked at the painful bright sunlight and wished he had a clean cloth to wipe the dirt out his eyes. Near by, Cap tried again and again to get Johnny to answer on his handy talkie. No response came. In what seemed like a very short time, digging and rescue crews arrived to try to re-dig the tunnel. Men's voices shouted back and forth everywhere, as orders were given and equipment was brought in. Roy tried to block them out and focus on the rumbling in his stomach. It was past noon and he missed both breakfast and lunch. Then again, so had Johnny. His partner never ate before he came to work, preferring to badger his partner into stopping at the Rampart cafeteria every morning they were on. Joanne typically made Roy eat a good breakfast before he left each morning, but this morning, he'd fallen asleep after Joanne woke him up before going to wake the kids for school. By the time she realized he wasn't up, and getting ready with the kids, all he could do was grab a quick shower and head out the door. His stomach rumbled again and he wondered how it dared be hungry now. It should be sick, very sick, but he just felt hungry. "QUIET!" Cap shouted at all the voices around him. "Johnny?" Over the handy talkie came the sound of someone crying, definitely crying. Roy had been Johnny's partner for four years now, and he knew, through a number of past horrible experiences, that Johnny made no sound when he cried, other than jagged breathing. Even without this knowledge, anyone with ears would know this was not a trapped and terrified Fireman crying, this was the sound of a little girl. "Elizabeth?" Cap called into the rectangular black box in his hand, "Elizabeth, this is Captain Hank Stanley. I'm a Fireman. I'm here with a lot of other Firemen, and we're gonna get you out of there. Elizabeth?" The sound continued, softly and heartbreakingly. "Elizabeth?" "I don't think she's letting go of the button Cap," Mike told him. 'Please kid, just let go of it for a second, and you can hear me,' he thought sadly. "Elizabeth?" "Go!" someone commanded setting everybody back to work. Incredible determination set in as they all realized a little girl was trapped inside, still alive! No one wanted to think about the Fireman. Roy turned up the volume on his handy talkie as far as it would go, and many around him did like wise, ignoring the occasional squelch they caused between themselves by doing so. Giving in to his hunger, Roy walked over to a mobile canteen that had been brought in and grabbed some coffee and a sandwich. Through with his food, and half way through his coffee, he discovered what he really wanted was some plain old water. He tossed the coffee and got up to fetch some, taking his talkie with him. Reaching for the cup, it was unmistakable, he heard Johnny cough. The cup dropped from his hand in his haste to raise the talkie up closer to his head. Again Johnny coughed and then started to wheeze. Roy felt sorry he'd heard anything at all. His partner was struggling to breathe. He sank down next to the wheels of the canteen to listen, glued to the sounds that were finally making his stomach feel the sickness he thought it should have felt from the start. "GO AWAY!" they heard the little girl's voice scream. "OWW, man don't KICK me!" "GO AWAY!" she shrieked. "Elizabeth?" "I'll SCREAM!" "You already are," Johnny said following another cough. Everyone paused to listen, suppressing the urge to cheer. "Who are you?" "I'm a Fireman. I sure hope you're Elizabeth Hewitt." If the little girl answered, the men couldn't hear it. "Are you?" So she HADN'T answered! "Yes." "Good." "What's that?" "A flashlight." "What are you doing here?" "Looking for you." "Stay away from me!" "Now do I look dangerous to you?" Johnny asked, apparently pointing the flashlight at himself. "No...you look dirty." Johnny coughed a small laugh. "You don't look so great yourself you know. You look better in your picture." "Where did you get that?" "Your mom gave it to me to help me find you." "Oh...I'm in trouble then, huh." "Oh I don't know. She's probably just gonna be really glad to see you." "He's got that one right," the mother said as she arrived and came with in earshot of one of the handy talkies. "Are you really a Fireman?" "Yes. DAMN," Johnny cursed. "What?" "Uh...nothing, I owe you a nickel. You can get it from your brother." "What happened to it?" "I don't know, just give me a minute." "I don't like it in the dark." "Didn't you bring one?" "It burnt out. My brother's always use up all the batteries." "Oh." "Can't you fix it!" she shouted at him. "I'm trying ta...it's okay...it's okay...it's just broken is all. I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere till they get us out, okay? It'll be all right." The girl's sobbing had begun again, tearing at every human heart within earshot of any of the talkies. "They'll get us out. It'll be okay." "Who?" "Who? Everyone. There's four...maybe...hopefully five guys out there who are gonna be working like mad to get us out of here. You have my word." "Hopefully...five?" "Definitely four...at least four." Actually there were over fifty now, but no one held it against him. 'I'm fine Johnny,' Roy thought silently, knowing he'd give just about anything to be heard. "What are you doing?" "Trying to find my handy talkie," they heard him say as the sound of dirt and gravel being moved around muffled his voice. "Come oooonnnn. It's gotta be here somewhere." "You're getting closer Johnny," Chet couldn't help but say aloud as they heard his movement get louder. "Too far," Mike mumbled as the sound drifted away again. "Back Johnny, back..." Cap urged in a whisper. As they worked, the men kept an ear cocked to the sounds, each coaching his blind search. "GOT IT!" "YEAH!!!" the workers cheered, their spirits very high as they dug and tried to brace the loose dirt along the tunnel. "Aw man..." "What's wrong?" "I...there's no button...I...man...it must of busted off!" Mike shook his head, "It must be jammed inside." "Yeah, but there's no way for him to know that," Cap told him. "Oh great! Their gonna have my hide for breaking another one of these things!" The Battalion chief chuckled and Cap hoped the man didn't take the comment personally. "You broke one before?" "Well not on purpose, but try telling THEM that! They were gonna take it out of my pay, and these things don't come cheap!" 'Shut UP Gage,' Cap thought, knowing that some of THEM were listening. "Then again, Chet was probably just making it up. I never did see them take anything out of my check." Many Firemen cheered at the mention of the Phantom's name. Chet blushed, hating being busted. "Can't you fix the flashlight?" Sounds of an attempt being made came immediately after the sound of the handy talkie being placed on the ground. "No...I think the bulb inside blew. It probably got cracked when I dropped it." "I wanna go home." "Me too sweetheart, me too...so uh...what were you doing in here anyway?" "You'll think it's stupid." "No I won't." "Yes you will." "I won't, cross my heart." "I was looking for fairies." "Oh yeah, that's right." "This stuff hurts." "What? What hurts honey?" "The ground." "The ground? Here, you can sit on my coat." "It's sticky." "Huh?" "It's all sticky." "He must be bleeding," Roy whispered to Cap in explanation. "Oh uhhh...yeah...I uh...must have had some honey in it. It's okay. It's better than the ground though, huh?" "Yeah." "Do you hurt anywhere else...anything hurt at all?" "No, I don't think so. I feel tired though." "OW!" they heard him shout after a loud thump. "Oh...you're under a ledge here aren't ya. Well that's good. Why don't we both try to scrunch under here, huh?" "Okay." "Smart move Gage," his Captain instructed though the man could not hear him. "Well that's good to know," the Battalion Chief remarked, "we won't have to worry as much about the small stuff coming down on them." "Yes sir," Cap agreed. Weeping again started coming from the handy talkies. "What's the matter?" "I'm SCARED!" "It's okay. I'm...so did you find any?" "What?" "Fairies." "Don't be stupid." "Now that's not nice. I didn't make fun of YOU." "No." "No what?" "I didn't find any. They're make believe." "Then why did you come all the way out here looking for some." "I don't know." "I do." "Why?" "Cause you wanna believe." "That's stupid, isn't it?" "No...not at all. It's no more stupid than believing in God." "You can't compare fairies to God." "I'm not. But if you believe in God, you know through him, all things are possible, right?" "So." "So if all things are possible, then maybe fairies are too." "Uh uh." "Well that's what I think." Many of the men looked at one another, some quirked their eyebrows while others shook their heads at what appeared to be a grown man with some childish beliefs. Many more blushed, starting to feel that listening in on what this man believed to be a private conversation with a child, was maybe not the most honorable thing to be doing. Some men even went as far as turning the volume down, but no one actually turned theirs off. "You really believe in fairies?" "I didn't say that, I just said that I couldn't say there is no such thing, because if God want's there to be fairies, there will be fairies. Maybe he just keeps them hidden, and only shows them like magic, to certain little girls." "Only girls?" "Well maybe boys too, I don't know. I do know there are people who really believe they've seen them." "REALLY?" "Yeah." "Who?" "Oh, you can read books about them." "Oh," she said disappointedly, "I knooow. I've read some. I thought you meant you knew somebody who had." "I do...or I did." "Who?" "My grandmother." "I don't believe you," she told him after a long quiet pause. "Don't believe me then." "She told you she saw fairies? Where?" "In Ireland." "You're lying. I could see your hair when you turned the flashlight on. It's black, not red." "Well little missy, not all Irishmen have red hair, and I'm only half Irish. If you want red hair, my grandmother's was as red as it comes. So was my mother's for that matter." Never before had Roy or any of the others heard Johnny make that much of a mention of his family. It always seemed to be something he steered clear of, and being men, they never asked him too many questions. "My dad would tell us not to listen to her...that she was a bit off...you know...but she always seemed just fine to me. My grandfather loved her. He thought she was hysterical." "Hysterical?" "Very very funny, and she was too!" "Is that why he married her?" "HUH! Oh...no..uh...my other grandfather. My dad's father." "Oh....where was your...mom's father?" "Died before I was born." "Oh." "I'm sorry, I meant passed away." "It's okay. I know about dying. So you believed her?" "My grandmother? All I know is she'd tell us stories about fairies living by a pond in back of their house when she was a girl in Ireland. She died when I was six but I remember her pretty good. If I'd of gotten older, and she was making it up, she probably would have told me but...I didn't, before she died so...I don't know. Could have just been stories, or...who knows. She sure loved us though. She was great. Made the best jellies I've ever had." Roy frowned. To his knowledge, Johnny didn't like jelly or anything like it. He always preferred to eat plain bread and butter. "I can't eat any other jelly now...all this store bought stuff. I don't know how she made it, and you can't even buy a lot of the kinds she used to make. The best one was Boysenberry." "I've never even heard of that." "Well it was good, let me tell you. Man I wish she was still around." "You miss her?" "Yeah, when I think about her I do." "Do you cry?" "What?" "You know, cry?" Silence followed and every man began to feel downright embarrassed. Still none could wait to hear his answer. "Yeah...I cry. Try not to, but..." "My mom says it's okay, even for guys to cry. My dad cries a lot." "He does?" "All the time," she admitted. "So...what else do you like?" "Like? Ummmm, I don't know. I like books." "You read a lot?" "Tons!" "I used to, a long time ago...well...maybe not THAT long ago but...seems like a long time. Then I guess I got too busy." "Doin' what?" "I don't know. I went to live with my aunt and...well I still pretty much lived in books until about half way through 10th grade. I just didn't...I don't know. Didn't like school and all of that. But then I had a really good teacher and...I don't know...she got me going again. She was great. My grandmother would have loved her. She got me writing instead of just reading...then she stuck some of my stories in the school paper...by senior year, I was the Editor of the school paper, and it was a BIG school, so all that was pretty cool. Do you write at all?" "Yeah...but don't tell anybody. I have a diary AND I write stories." "Let me guess, about fairies." "You're making fun of me!" "I'm not, I swear...what's the matter?" "I don't feel good." "Where don't you feel good?" "All over, I just feel sick, I always just feel sick." "Do you feel sick to your stomach?" "Sometimes, and medicine make my stomach feel sick." "Medicine makes you nauseous." "It makes me puke. It's gross." "You think you're gonna throw up now?" "No...I just feel sick." "All right, well how 'bout you try to lay down for a while, okay? Here, you can use my shirt for a pillow." "Something's poking me!" "My badge, just a second...now try it. Better?" "Yeah." "Good." Several moments passed while the men could only hear the sounds of themselves working. "Hey." "What?" "Don't stop talking, okay?" "What?!" "I like it better when you talk." "Well...like...what do you want me to say?" "I don't know, just talk, okay? Please?" "Okay, well...huh...well..." "I don't believe it," Chet laughed loudly, "Gage is tongue tied!" "Are there really four guys getting us out?" "Oh yeah...five! Five guys. The best guys a guy could know!" "Heeeyyy," Mike and Marco cheered quietly while the others just grinned. "He must be omitting Chet," Marco teased. "Well he IS talking to a ten year old girl. He has to keep his comments PG," Mike explained. "Well let's see...you okay?" "Still don't feel good." "You want me to be quiet so you can sleep?" "No...talk." "All right...uh...well first...one of the guys is Marco. Marco's great...he's a Mexican's Mexican." "What does he mean by that?" Cap asked. "I know what he means by that!" Marco told him proudly. "He's the best cook we've got. Next to Stoker's chicken and spaghetti, you pretty much starve around OUR station...oh, except for Cap's clam chowder." "You BETTER add that," Cap grinned. "What about my beef bougenon?" Roy wondered, making a mental note to remind him how much he'd liked it. Then again, it had been over a year since he last made it. The guys had begun to complain that it was the only thing he ever made. As far as he was concerned, there was no way to please these guy's greedy stomachs. "Elizabeth? Elizabeth?" they heard Johnny call. "She must be asleep," Chet whispered as if his talking might wake her. "Good, maybe he can get some sleep too," Cap said to Roy. "Well he shouldn't if he has a concussion," Roy told him. "If his coat is sticky..." "Will he know if he has a concussion?" "Maybe." "Well...try not to worry about it Roy. There's nothing we can do about it from here." "That's the problem," he muttered as he watched the man walk away. ~/~/~/~/~ "MOMMY!" "What?!" "MOMMY!" "Elizabeth. Elizabeth? It's all right. It's me, remember? The dirty Fireman?" "I want my mommy!" "I know sweetheart, I know. It's gonna be okay. They're getting us out. I bet your mom's out there just awaitin' for ya. It's gonna be okay!" "I want the lights on!" "It's okay..." "I want the lights!" "I know...I know." "PLEASE! I just want the LIGHTS!" "Sweetheart, believe me, I wish to God I could. I really do. It'll be all right." "I want my MOM!" "She's here! She's here! She's in your heart, and if you listen close, you can hear her!" "NO I CAN'T!" "Yes you can, think of what she sounds like. You can hear her, what's the last thing she said to you?" "She said goodnight last night." "What did she say before that?" "She read me a story?" "What did she sound like reading you the story? In you mind, you can hear her. What does she sound like?" "She sounds like my mom." "Can you hear her?" "Kind of." "She's here in your heart Elizabeth, what is she telling you, listen close." "Not to be scared." Tears streamed down the face of Katy Hewitt. Into her hands, clasped tightly together as if in prayer, she whispered quickly all the things she wanted to tell her. "What else?" "That she loves me?" Katy nodded her head, smiling and still whispering into her hands. "Anything else?" "She's telling me I like Firemen." "What?" "That I like Firemen. When I was little...you'll laugh." "Cross my heart." "When I was five? We went to a fire station, and there was this Fireman, and he let me turn on all the lights and blow the horn. When we left I told my mom I was gonna marry one some day." Johnny could be heard giggling over the air waves. "You promised!" "I'm sorry." "Fine, now you got to." "What?" "Tell me something embarrassing." "Like what?" "I don't know!" "Okay, once I really believed I saw a bunch of fairies." "You're making it up." "No I'm not. I guess I was about four...why I didn't remember ever seeing 'em before that, I'll never know, but I had to have. Anyway...I came running home one night from fishing late with my grandfather. I saw them, and I just ran home and left him there without saying a word to him that I was leaving, because I just HAD to get home and bring my grandmother back with me. Turned out they were fireflies." "You thought fireflies were fairies?" Elizabeth giggled. "I was four, okay?" "Maybe they are fairies. Maybe they're so small that--" "Nah, I've caught 'em. Fireflies are just fireflies." "Maybe God turns them into fireflies when people catch them, just so you don't know." "...maybe," Johnny agreed. "I've never caught a firefly. I think I've only seen one once, I'm not sure." "Really? How come?" "They're not really in the city, are they?" "No, but...don't you ever go camping or anything?" "We did...a long time ago...but..." "But what?" "Then I got sick." "Oh," Johnny answered with a confused tone. Katy Hewitt bit her lip and tried to contain the tears that threatened to fall again. "Listen, I know where there are all kinds of fireflies. How 'bout you and your family come with me some time before it gets too cold for 'em, and I'll help you catch a bunch." "Really?" "Yeah, really." "I'll have to ask mom first." Katy smiled and nodded her head, giving permission already. "What's the matter?" "I still don't feel good." "Why don't you lay down again, okay." "The ground's too hard." "Just lean against me. I'm bony but...I don't think I'm as hard as the ground." Roy laughed, not too sure about that one. He'd run into Johnny's bony elbows more than once in the four years he'd worked with him so far. "Talk." "Talk?" "Talk." "Okay, well where was I...I told you about Marco..." "The Mexican's Mexican?" "Right. He's a great guy, Marco. Very generous and a great big heart. Once there was a mouse in our station, and instead of wanting to get rid of it, he named it Herbert." "Really?" "Yeah, and then there's Mike. I bet he's out there right now, digging away even though Cap probably told him he should stay by the engine." Mike smiled, wiping the dirt from his forehead, and beginning again with renewed energy. "See, Mike and I have an understanding. He don't tell on me and I never tell on him." "What's he talking about?" Cap asked. Mike ducked his head and continued to dig as if he hadn't heard. "Like that mouse of Marco's. Cap said we should get rid of it, so he made Chet set some traps." "I don't think I like this." "No, it's okay, trust me. So Chet set these traps only you could tell he really didn't wanna kill it. Well Marco may have named the thing, but he wouldn't go against Cap, so one by one, me and Mike set the traps off so they wouldn't catch anything anytime nobody was looking." "Is that sooo," Cap wondered aloud while he stared at Mike's digging back. "What other kind of things have you and Johnny done?" "Actually Cap," Roy admitted, "I knew about that one. Mike came out into the Bay when we got back that night and told Johnny the trap under the fridge was still set, and he needed a distraction so you guys wouldn't hear it go off. Johnny talked to Chet for a few minutes to get his attention, 'cause he was the only one still awake. The only problem was Mike had some trouble getting it to go off, so a couple minutes later, we all heard it snap. I knew it was just Mike, so I didn't worry about it." "Uh huh." Cap said still looking at Mike. "I should have known. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?" "And you guys let me think it was Herbert all night!" Chet accused. "Listen, we didn't know you were laying there agonizing about! I fell asleep!" "Shhhhh," Chet hissed, "he's talking about ME now!" "Look," Marco offered, "maybe we shouldn't be listening to this. I mean--" "SHHHH!" "...playing pranks on me, but he's all right." Chet blushed, not exactly a glowing representation. "He keeps things fun, and he keeps me on my toes." Well that was a little better he guessed, at least fun was better that just all right. "I'd never admit it in public, but I really love the guy. He's always careful not to get you with something when the timing just not right, and sometimes he has an even bigger heart than Marco. One time Roy and I delivered this baby in a car. You could tell they really didn't have much for it so I ah...well I took the station's trading stamps and used to get the baby this crib, changing thing. Well he acted all mad, but the next thing I know, he and Marco just have to see this baby. Then after that, I got a letter from the mother, thanking us for the crib, AND a baby swing AND all the diapers. Turns out Chet used his OWN trading stamps on the kid two hours after he saw her...a real tough guy. He just an old softy underneath." A chorus of 'ahhhhhhs' erupted making Chet wish he'd agreed with Marco about turning the talkies off. Inside he was beaming. "Uhhh, let's see, then there's Cap, my Captain. He uh..." Cap blushed and wondered which would be less suspicious, to order all the talkies to be turned off immediately, or to make a ton of noise to try to keep everyone from hearing anything. "He's uh...well sometimes he's a little nuts," they could hear Johnny giggle. Roy stiffened and made sure to keep his face expressionless and pointed at the ground. "...but when it counts, we got the best. He's not a hard nose, like some Captains." Roy felt infinitely grateful that his partner didn't start to name any. "You can TALK to him, which is great. You can't do that with a lot of people when they out rank you. But Hank's cool, and he's there, and he's a friend...a good friend." Hank turned away toward the canteen to keep the world from seeing his face. "Then there's my partner Roy...Roy is...Roy's...he was in here looking for you with me and...he's my partner see and...well...I'm sure he's...he's out there. He's out there...he..." "I'm out here Johnny," Roy wished he could tell him. "...he's my best friend too. Him and his whole family. My family...my family's...mostly...gone now and....well Roy...Roy's great! Him and Joanne and the kids...he's got a little girl with the same name as your sister. I'm...I'm sure he's all right...I'm..." "I'm all right Johnny." "Ahhh...Roy's my family. His family I mean. Without them...I pretty much got nothin'" Stunned silence permeated the air outside the mine. "I had brothers...one younger and one older...and we were close, but...that was a long time ago. I missed that...I mean really missed that...having brothers...you need 'em...especially once you've had 'em. And boy...when I met Roy...I couldn't have needed him more. I'd just put my aunt in a nursing home. Sometimes when people get older...they need someone to look after them day and night, and she had gotten to that point. Man it killed, like I had nothing left. I kind of felt like I was betraying her in a way. Here she'd taken me in and taken care of me...she sure didn't have to. I don't know why she did. God knows she'd never laid eyes on me before. I know I had to do it. The money she was getting wasn't enough for the place two of her friends had gone to, and when she was all there...enough to talk to me...she said that was where she'd want to go. I'd always told her no way...I'd never do that but...she was there less and less and...I couldn't take of her and work anymore. She just couldn't do enough for herself. And then when I'd go visit her, most of the time she didn't even know me anymore. Man, nothing can make you feel more alone. I remember that first Christmas I got stationed at 51 with Roy. I went over to the Nursing Center for their Christmas, but everything was over by 5 o'clock. They had meds and baths and everything they have to do for everyone, it's not that I blamed them but...no WAY could I go back to my apartment and listen to my neighbors having such a good time. To this day, I don't know why I did it. I'd already given Roy the kids' presents so...I don't know. I guess I just decided to drive by to see what a big happy family looked like...I honestly couldn't remember. I know I slowed down...I know I did, but...I really didn't expect anyone to notice. Only problem was Roy was outside trying to get some lights to work on the front of the house. He saw me going by and started waving like a lunatic. Oh yeah...I remember what it was...his MOTHER in law was over. Anyway, he was definitely glad to see me, which I really didn't expect. Well since he was waving like that, it would have been very impolite not to stop...so I did. He treated me like he'd been expecting me...ya know. I mean this was Christmas...family time...not new partner from the station time! I mean I'd been over a few times but...well it felt great...to have some place to be...even if that witch did keep staring at me. She was looking that way at Roy too, so it was great! I remember I decided to have a staring contest with her, I just wouldn't look away...stared right back...right into her eyes. I swear Roy nearly laughed up a kidney. He'd never seen anyone take her on before. I just thought she was funny. You know...it was weird...they even had a present for me...just like they knew I was coming...and the presents I'd given Roy were all under the tree...right along with all the other presents...I mean right there will all the rest of them. They hadn't opened them. It was just like a real Christmas...I mean, it was a real Christmas. I've never wanted for a family since. Roy's pretty much my brother now...Elizabeth? Elizabeth? ELIZABETH? Oh God no! Oh God what's the matter? ELIZABETH? What is it? WHAT IS IT? I need some light! I NEED SOME LIGHT! HEEELP! HEEEYYYYYYY! Guys...PLEEEAASE! HEEEYYYYY! Where are you guys? Elizabeth? Oh god, breath for me honey, come on...........breath baby come on...............WHERE ARE YOU GUYS? ROY?................come on PLEASE! Elizabeth?...................WHAT IS IT? I NEED SOME LIGHT!................PLEASE!.......Come on............please?....................I NEED HELP NOW! ROY? WHERE ARE YOU!" They could tell Johnny was performing CPR, but what was wrong, no one could help him with. They were still hours from getting near where they should be trapped. "Oh please.................come on Elizabeth. Oh please............" "Tell him to stop!" Katy Hewitt cried. "Ma'am," Cap called pulling her to his shoulder, "he's doing everything he can for her. He's one of our best. You--" "I know, but there's nothing he can do. Just tell him to stop! Tell him to just hold her." "Ma'am, he's professionally trained to--" "You don't understand. She's been dying for a long time. She has leukemia. She went through three rounds of treatment, and it just kept coming back. The fourth time...we started it, but then she just told us no. She was tired. She was tired of being sick, tired of hospitals, and all the needles. She just wanted to come home and live the rest of her life. We talked with our priest and that's what we did. We brought her home. Her hair grew back, and she started to look better and feel better...but we knew...we've known for months. It's just time. Please...get him to stop." "I would ma'am. I'd like nothing more than to be able to talk to him, for just a minute...but he can't hear us." "Oh please Roy, for God's sake...would you help me?.............Oh God, please don't do this? What's WRONG? What did I DO?......................... ROOOOOYYYYY!..........I need help....please." ~/~/~/~/~ The sound went on for an hour. No dry eye could be found for a solid mile round. When the sound finally stopped, they couldn't be sure whether he'd given up, or whether his battery had. No more sounds came from deep with in the mine. They worked though the night, digging and bracing. Katy's husband arrived, having been contacted by the dispatcher at the cargo hauling division he worked for. At a bright ten o'clock the next morning, one of the workers broke through into an air pocket that proved to be empty. Three more times up and down the roller coaster of hope, Roy half heartedly led the way into another chamber. "Anything?" Marco called over to Chet as they searched the area. "No," the Irishman admitted swinging his light back and forth. He couldn't believe how dark it was down there. He already had the creeps big time, and it had only been a few minutes. He held his light close to him as if it were life itself. There was no way he could imagine what five minutes down there alone might be like, not to mention hours with no light or sound. "What's that?" Roy asked as the other man's light glinted off of something. "That?" Chet asked moving it back, "just a rock Roy." It was amazing how many rocks down there were beginning to look like Fireman's helmets. "No, over a bit Chet." "Where?" "A little left..." Roy called trying to pick his way over to him through all the rocks. "No...right again." "THAT?" "Yeah." "No, that's...It's HIM!" Chet, Marco, and Roy scrambled as quickly as they could over to the uniformed leg they had seen. Before they could get to him, they came across a beautiful girl, wrapped in Johnny's turnout coat the way a nurse would wrap a new born baby into a blanket. Her blues eyes started up at them and Roy reached down to close them forever. "Johnny?" he called kneeling by his partner's side. "Cap, we found them, we're gonna need a couple stokes, and have Dwyer get an IV ready." "He's radioing Rampart now Roy. You WILL need the IV, right?" "That's affirmative Cap, we will need AN IV, he's still here." Katy hugged her husband to her, despite the fact that in her heart, she had already known. "Johnny?" Roy tried again doing a sternal rub as hard as he could bring himself to do. The firm rub against his chest caused a flinched response, and Johnny to reach up and move Roy's hand away, but he didn't answer him. The stokes arrived and Marco and Chet soberly placed the little girl into the first one, and gave it to the two other guys who'd brought it in, to carry out. By the light of his flashlight, Roy slowly took Johnny's vitals down. "Hand me some gauze Marco." Marco did as he was asked, but frowned when he saw what Roy did with it. "Why are you covering his eyes?" "The light is gonna kill him Marco...I mean--" "SO'kay, Roy, I know what you mean. Maybe a blanket too huh?" "Yeah, but don't cover his mouth and nose with it." "Hey Johnny, you ready to get out of here?" Marco asked as cheerfully as he could. "Roy, is he out?" "I don't think so." "Roy? Then why--" "He probably just doesn't feel like talking right now." "Right, that's okay. He don't have to. We'll let Chet take over, but just for a little while. We can only take so much of Chet. Right Chet?" "Right Marco," Chet agreed, unable to copy the other man's teasing tone. Marco looked at Roy and decided to give up the attempt at a cheerful attitude. It was obvious the man in the stokes was going to be far from cheerful for a long time to come. They lifted their friend and headed down the long tunnel. Just before hitting the light, Marco made them pause long enough to make sure the blanket was snugly around the top part of Johnny's face, to block it. Reporters outside descended upon them just as they had the parents and the body of the little girl a few minutes before. They ignored the constant buzzing pleas for a comment, and pushed their way through to a waiting ambulance, where the Police interfered and made the press back off. "Stinking vultures," Chet hissed as he closed the door behind Roy and gave it two pats. ~/~/~/~/~ On the gurney next to Roy, Johnny lifted his hand to tug at the blanket. "Here," Roy offered, "let me get that." With the blanket off his eyes, he began to pull at the gauze. "Johnny? It's pretty bright in here, you--" "Ahh!" "Yeah, you may wanna leave that on for a while, they'll help you readjust gradually at the--" "Where is she?" "Where--" "Where IS she?" "Another ambulance." Johnny slumped back down on the gurney and threw his arm over his eyes, turning to face the wall of the ambulance. "Johnny? You did everything you--" "HOW WOULD YOU KNOW! She wasn't DEAD Roy! She was just fine till I got a hold of her!" "Johnny she was sick! VERY sick...for a LONG time! Her mother said she had leukemia. They'd stopped treatment half way through the fourth time. A hospital full of doctors couldn't keep that little girl alive, Johnny. You had nothing to do with it....Johnny?....You had nothing to do with it Johnny." "If I could have seen what I was doing! If--" "What could you have done!" "I DON'T KNOW! But I should have done SOMETHING!" "YOU DID!" "HOW WOULD YOU know?" "Johnny, we could hear you. The handy talkie was jammed. We could hear everything that happened, and you did...you did great Johnny." "Great," Johnny scoffed disdainfully. "You did....Johnny--" "I don't feel like talking right now Roy!" "All right...all right...no more talking. Just...don't kick yourself for this Johnny. I know it hurts but--" "Please leave me alone!" "All right...all right, I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry." Johnny took a ragged breath, trying to keep it all inside. It was a loosing battle, and the gauze became soaked until Roy silently pulled it off and replaced it with the blanket, wishing he could do more than just sit there and watch his partner cry. He'd seen him cry before, just as Johnny had on rare but awful occasion, seen him cry at least a time or two. Just as before, he felt clueless about what to do. Neither one of them had much experience in trying to comfort a grown man. Hands off and pretend not to notice seemed to be the unspoken rule. It was the easiest to do, or the easiest on the outside. Inside, Roy felt nearly as bad as his friend. But it had been Johnny that had been in there, Johnny who had talked to her, Johnny who had held her, and Johnny who had tried so hard to save her life. ~/~/~/~/~ The ride to the hospital was long, since they drove at a normal speed. Roy had become lost in his own thoughts when he was jarred out of them by the ambulance doors opening. "Hey," Dixie called out sadly. "Hey Dix." "How's he doin'" she asked in a whisper, though Johnny could no doubt hear the question too. Roy shrugged and looked away from her, attempting to hide the tears in his own eyes. 'Men,' Dixie wondered silently, her own face puffy and red, having heard most of what had gone on in the cave through the base station radio. "Here we go Johnny," she joked as an attendant helped Roy pull out the gurney and set it up on the ground, "home sweet home." She patted him on the hip though he gave her no answer. "Okay," Brackett said the moment he entered the exam room, "let's get another set of vitals to be on the safe side, okay Dix?" "Sure," she answered. Roy stood back and let the nurses take over. Exhaustion crept in on him during the ride, and he was feeling pretty useless to his friend at the moment anyway. "How you doin' in there Johnny," Dixie asked, meaning the blanket over his eyes. Johnny answered with an uneven sigh. Ignoring his apparent rudeness, Dixie started to rub his leg, as natural as you please. "Now why couldn't I do that," Roy wondered aloud. "What?" Dixie asked. "Uh...nothin'...think I'll get some coffee." "Roy?" "Yeah?" "He's gonna be all right." "Yeah...yeah I know. He's just...." "Yeah...we heard it over the base station." Roy tapped his fingers against his leg, trying not to look her in the eyes. "You okay?" "Yeah! I'm...I'm fine Dix." "Sure...well, get some coffee or something. We're uh...his vitals are fine but I'm sure we're gonna keep him till tomorrow so you might--" "I'll go pick up some stuff for him." "I meant you might wanna go home and get some sleep. As soon as he's in his room, I'm sure that's all he'll be doing. If he doesn't, Kel will see to it he does, but it looks like he's heading that way already. You look like you're nearly there yourself. You want me to call Joanne and--" "No. I'm, sure Chet's right behind me, if he isn't here already. I'll go back with him the squad, then head home I guess." "Good." "But...ahhh..." "It will probably be another twenty minutes or so before we get him in a room." "Right...I just...I...are his eyes gonna be okay?" "Lack of light any light for an extended period of time can cause blindness...you know that...but I don't think he was in there long enough to worry about that. No doubt he'll feel pretty uncomfortable for a few days though. You'll probably want to find him some sunglasses before you pick him up tomorrow." "Right, he's some. I'll just...probably in the Rover at the station. I'll look, and if not..." "You'll make sure he has some." "Right." "How is he?" Chet asked scurrying to Roy's side. "Go home Roy," Dixie ordered. "Well?" "He'll be okay Chet." "Right, cause he wasn't talking when you guys left." "I know...but...he's fine. Don't worry about it," Roy told him, leading the way to the squad. "Yeah? I wouldn't be. Five minutes in there in the dark like that and I'd be..." "What?" "Well it's creepy!" "I'm sure he was pretty well distracted Chet." "Yeah, before...but after. I mean he was in there for over twelve hours after!" 'Great,' Roy thought to himself, 'something else to worry about.' Aside from the death of the little girl, Johnny had lived through a nightmare straight out of Edgar Allen Poe. ~/~/~/~/~ "It might help if you talked about it," Roy prompted as he drove Johnny home the next afternoon. "About what," Johnny asked, absent- mindedly shading his eyes despite his sunglasses. "The whole thing." "Thought you all heard the whole thing." "We did but...well the battery died eventually and...you got pretty quiet after..." "So what, you want all the sordid detail you missed?" "NO! Johnny.....never mind. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's just that Chet said..." "What?" "The dark...like that...I mean total darkness...like that...knowing you can't turn it on...not knowing if...when...I mean--" "I'm not afraid of the dark Roy......I'd have liked to have been able to SEE what I was doing, cause if--" "Johnny, there's nothing you could have or would have been able to do even if you could see. She was--" "I know, that's what everyone keeps telling me." ".....cause it's true," Roy answered quietly after a long pause. "Are you going to go to the funeral?" "No." "Okay," Roy answered a little surprised. "Well...maybe. I don't know yet." "Do you want me to go?" "Why would you go?" "I think a lot of firemen are gonna show up, Johnny." "Why?" "Cause..." How could he explain it to him. How could he tell him how deeply his private conversations with the little girl had touched them all in their hearts. "...she was...special." Johnny looked quickly away out of the passenger window. It was not something he needed to be told. "I'll go if you want me to go," Roy told him as he stopped the car at Johnny's home. "I'm still pretty tired, think I'm goin' to bed," Johnny muttered as he got out of the car, as an excuse not to invite him in. "Johnny?" "Talk to you later," Johnny called back over his shoulder as he entered his building. "Talk to you later Johnny," Roy said aloud to himself as he pulled away. ~/~/~/~/~ "Man, this is gonna hurt him," Roy thought as he looked up at the bright sunshine late the following morning. He meant Johnny's eyes, refusing to think what the funeral might do to the rest of him. Roy had called Johnny's apartment three times that morning, with no answer. Joanne had told him to drive over there, but he'd refused. If Johnny was home, he knew who was calling, and why. After the third call, Roy had decided to get dressed and go to the funeral anyway. It wasn't like he was going to be the only firefighter there. As he pulled up to the church, he was surprised to find the atmosphere felt more like a Sunday picnic. Outside the church, tables where set up with bows and flowers and platters full of food. Children ran about, playing in their good clothes. Roy was sure he had the wrong place until the saw some men moving a wreath, with the name 'Elizabeth' written on it, through the church doors. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and shrugged at Chet and Marco as he crossed the street to stand with them. As they moved inside, their bewilderment continued. The isles were decorated with light colors, more reminiscent of a wedding or a baby shower than a funeral. Again Roy was sure they had come to the wrong place until he saw the casket. Three children raced by him and out the opposite door in their game of tag. "You're Roy right?" Katy Hewitt asked approaching him and shaking his hand, "thank you for coming." "Oh," Roy said embarrassed she had remembered his name, "you're ah...you're welcome." "I know," she smiled at their confused gazes, "it doesn't look right, does it, but it's what Elizabeth wanted. She said, 'make it like a picnic, like a family reunion. I don't want everyone all sad and crying.' So that's what we're doing, just like a big family picnic. It's going well so far," she added smiling with tears in her eyes as more children ran through, "don't you think?" "Definitely," Roy smiled, biting hard on his bottom lip. "It's beautiful," Marco told her taking her hand and squeezing it. "Thank you. There's a ton of food out there to eat, so please don't be shy. Believe it or not, we were expecting you. Is Johnny, the man that was in there with her coming?" Roy looked at Marco and then at Chet, but he was on his own to answer. "He uh..." "Dear God, he's not blaming himself is he?" "He ah..." "He is...I know he is. Where can I find him?" "Uhhh," "Oh no, I forgot the picture! I...don't go anywhere until I can talk to you again, okay?" "I uh..." "Okay?" Roy nodded uncomfortably. Around 3:30 people began to enter the church and sit down. On the other side, Roy saw Mike and his Captain come in, remove their caps, and sit down in amazement at the appearance of the whole thing, just as they had. At 3:45 music began, but it was not an organ, or sad church songs. Many of the songs were children's songs, while a few Beatles songs seemed to be tossed in where ever. Roy began to relax, if the family wasn't buried in grief, why should he be. The food outside had been good, the weather couldn't have been more beautiful, and the people were all delightful, especially all the little children running around, without a care in the world. Roy wished all funerals were like this. A preacher walked up to the pulpit and the music stopped. "Hello, and good afternoon of this fine summer day. We all know why we're here. We're here to say goodbye and God Bless to a very special little girl. Elizabeth goes with the angels now, just as she had a little bit of Angel in her while she was here on earth. She wanted this day to be warm and happy, just like all the family get togethers she'd gone to in the past. All the birthday's, all the little parties, and," he added smiling at a white paper bell, "even all the wedding's." The room broke out in bittersweet laughter as each one remembered the little girl's love of all things delicate and pretty. Roy's eyes swept the isles, looking at them all. In the back of the church, he spotted his partner, as it seemed many others had. Instead of his uniform, he wore a suit. Roy could tell the other Firefighters were wondering at it, but he knew why. It was in the capacity of a Firefighter/Paramedic that he felt he had failed the young girl, and the rumpled jacket and miss matched dress pants were his badge of shame. "Now I think the mother might have a few words for us to hear." "Actually," Katy said coming to the microphone, "I'd like to see if the gentleman who spent her last hours with her would be willing to--" Johnny froze looking like a deer caught in headlights. "I...I can't..I..." "It's all right, this isn't formal at all. You can--" "Look, I'm SORRY," he choked out, "I'm just so SORRY!" "Oh stop him, somebody stop him, Please!" she cried as Johnny bolted for the door right behind him. To his confusion and horror, a large man stepped in front of him. "hold on a minute, just hold on a minute," the man hushed at him. "I don't...I'm Sorry. I don't know what to say!" "Then listen," Katy called from the pulpit. "Please don't see the time you spent with Elizabeth as something awful. I'd have given anything to have been with her at the end, but I couldn't be...and out of every man in this room, I'm glad it was you. I'm sure every man here is special in his own right and in his own way, but you are special the way Elizabeth needed you to be special. You didn't laugh at her. You made her happy and you kept her from being scared. Because of you, she was able to hear me in her heart, telling her all the things I wanted her to know. Because of you, she died, still able to believe in both magic, and God. There is no way...I can express to you...how grateful I am. You'll never convince me there is another man in this room who would have done it...just like you. Don't feel bad about the things that happened down there. I promise you, no one here feels that way. Please try to remember her with happiness and smiles. She'd hate to think she's making you cry." ~/~/~/~/~ The room quietly broke up with many of the family touching Johnny softly on the way out as they passed. Katy hugged him close as she too left the church, but Johnny seemed frozen in time, his face cast to the floor, and his eyes a million miles away. Roy waited for everyone else to leave before approaching him. His hand reached up to touch him like the others, but it soon fell back to his side. "Johnny?" he asked, not sure he should disturb him. Several minutes passed as Roy became more and more uncomfortable with the silence. "Johnny?" he prompted again. "Huh?" "Do you wanna go outside?" "Outside?" "Yeah, they're still...having their get together. Do you want to--" "I gotta go." "What?" "I gotta....I gotta go. I'll catch you later," Johnny said taking off through the crowd in a flash. "WAIT a minute! Johnny? JOHNNY! WAIT a minute!" Roy tried, but he was long gone. First Roy drove to Johnny's place, very unsure what his friend was feeling, and having no idea what to do or say to him if he DID find him. When he didn't, he searched high and low till well after dark, checking every park, hang out, beach, and diner he could think of. He even checked his own house, just in case, but Johnny was no where to be found. Finally he figured out one more place to check. ~/~/~/~/~ The woman placed flowers on her husband's grave. She always came here this time of night, for it was the time of night he'd died. From the moment she'd arrived, she kept a weary eye on the young man a few rows over at a freshly dug grave. At first, from his jeans and flannel shirt, she wondered if he didn't work there, with the unfortunate job of a grave digger; but the amount of time he was spending, kneeling at the new gravestone, she figured he must be praying. She finished her own thoughts to her husband, and was surprised to see the young man still there. She looked around and wondered why anyone would let the poor man come here alone, then laughed when she remembered she was alone as well. She started to walk toward him when he startled her by standing, and twisting something in his hands. To her delight and surprise, the night lit up around him, as if by magic. "Here you go Elizabeth," Johnny said as the fireflies swam around the marble headstone, "if you catch them fast enough, maybe you'll see your fairies." "Johnny?" a man spoke, who had suddenly appeared by the first man's side. The man, just as tall as the first, reached out and pulled the second man close, holding him tightly for several minutes before releasing him and walking him toward a car. The woman smiled and started back toward her own black Ford. Seems the man's brother had come to take him home. The End |